Oop Look At That, I Made Another One.

Oop look at that, I made another one.

“I don’t like how y’all operate”

-A transcript of an inside joke between me and my co-Guard.

-Additionally why you should get ‘in’ with the regular pool moms

Guard 2: *whistles for adult swim time*

Group of children: *still in the pool after 2 minutes*

Me: Guys come on, adult swim time, y’all gotta get out.

Group of children: *not hearing me because they all have ear plugs in*

Me: *a little louder* GUYS come on, let’s go! Out of the pool please!

Children: *seeing me waving my hands at them telling them to get out, finally start getting out*

Mother: *who has been watching this whole time and knew it was adult swim and did nothing to tell her own kids to get out* come on, get your shit together we’re leaving.

Me: Come on guys, your mom wants to leave, let’s hustle!

Mother: I don’t like how y’all operate.

Me: I’m sorry...???

Mother: I don’t like how you shouted at my kids.

Me: *internally* your kids weren’t listening, they had ear plugs in and couldn’t hear me, and you weren’t doing anything about them either, so I don’t like how I just had to parent your kids for you but you ain’t hear me say shit about it now did ya?

Me: *externally* Oh, ma’am I’m sorry about that-

Mother: The other lifeguard didn’t even call for an adult swim. Y’all just petty.

Me: Oh, no ma’am she did. She whistles 3 minutes ago. All the other kids got out too *i motion to the other kids who are all sitting outside of the pool*

Mother: You did’t have to yell at them like that. You should have just got them attention another way.

Me:??? Okay, sorry about that ma’am. Have a good day.

Me and Guard 2 sharing a look of mutual ‘tf is her problem?’

Cool Pool Mom (to me): Sweetie don’t worry about her. Her husband’s cheating on her anyway.

My face:

Back at it again with a new meme

Look, the devil works hard, but daredevil fanfic writers work harder 😂

This is so sad y'all 😭 I know it's only been a day but I need more of them

Kid at my pool hearing my speaker from the guard chair: you listen to Billie Eilish?

Me: I mean, sometimes, yeah.

Kid: Dang, you DEPRRESSED depressed

I’m just saying that if that were BLM, there would be blood in the streets. Where’s the rubber bullets and tear gas for the armed rioters storming the Capital Building? Ya’ll just ran out? Last spring-summer shooting at actual peaceful protesters drained your arsenal? The fuck?