Hello! Could You Request Nanbaka X Reader? (Platonic/Romantic)

Hello! Could you request Nanbaka x Reader? (Platonic/Romantic)

Fem Reader who's like Kanae Kocho, from Demon Slayer, but in modern era. With Kanae's personality and abilities.

Reader as Hajime and Hitoshi Sugoroku's cousin (You can add this if you want; Reader works at the Nanbaka with her Sister)

-The inmates of Cell 13 of Building 13 of Nanba Prison had managed to escape, again, and were currently rushing through the building, a plan in mind to go and have some fun while Hajime was giving chase, charging down the hallway like a speeding train.

-The members of Cell 13 were having a blast, laughing loudly as Uno called back over his shoulder, “Give it up Hajime- you won’t catch us!”

-Rock skidded to a halt, causing Uno, Jyugo, and Nico to crash into him, making Jyugo yell up at him, “Why the hell did you- holy…” his eyes went wide as they all looked to see what made Rock stop, seeing a very beautiful woman, wearing a prison guard’s uniform, with a pair of butterfly clips on the side of her hats.

-You smiled beautifully, looking so gentle and elegant, “Oh my- I found you! Now let’s get you back to your cell, you naughty boys.” Instantly they melted, becoming completely obedient to you as Nico took one of your hands while the other three fought via rock-paper-scissors on who would get to hold your other hand all the way back to their cell.

-Hajime was exasperated, seeing them being so well behaved for you, a tick-mark on his cheek as you smiled sweetly at them, “Now stay in your cell. Shall we continue with the tour, Hajime?” as you turned to him.

-Instantly the four gremlins surrounded Hajime, furious that he didn’t tell them that they were getting a new guard, and one so cute!! Hajime looked exasperated as Uno, trying to flirt, came over to you, “So how does an angel like you know a gorilla like Hajime?”

-You just laughed into your hand, looking amused, “Oh- Hajime is my cousin. He’s the one who told me about this place and both my little sister and I applied.”

-The four turned white, hearing that you had a sister, before Hajime grabbed Uno, throwing him off you before leading you out, shouting at them to stay in their cell.

-This made things worse however, as Cell 13 broke out even more, just to see you, something you thought was cute, but you were worried about Hajime’s stomach, something Hitoshi asked you to keep an eye out on.

-However, it was much easier for you to wrangle Cell 13, as they would willing following you, just to spend time with you, making it a bit easier on Hajime and Seitaro, while you got along easily with Yamato, sometimes the two of you were very similar it was almost scary.

-Your little sister worked in the hospital sector, working under Dr. Otogi, both of them, so you got to see her quite often, especially when you would bring Nico, and the other three members of his cell, to his checkup.

-They were a little more scared of Shinobu, as she was a bit crass, but her treatments were always gentle, something ratted her out on which made her flush and made you coo on how cute was being.

-Many other inmates adored you as well, as you were always so kind and gentle, something they enjoyed, but Cell 13 was quite territorial over you, while Hajime didn’t want you to be around any of them at all, as he considered putting you on desk duty for a while but realized that might cause more issues.

-Rock was curious, as you didn’t look like a fighter, like Hajime, as he had seen the sword strapped to your side, something he had never seen you use yet, but you just giggled when he asked, “Oh I’d like to think I’m strong. Hajime and I used to play all the time!”

-You showed your strength during one of the trips to the clinic, after some other inmates escaped, wanting to cause havoc and when they saw you, they tried to attack, as you were the first woman they had seen in a long while.

-You just smiled softly before sliding a leg back as you drew your sword. A swarm of flower petals surrounded you as you easily took the six attackers out, not seriously injuring them, just knocking them out.

-When you turned back to Cell 13, they were all hugging each other, looking scared, seeing that you were just as strong as Hajime, knowing that the sweet smile you wore didn’t match- you were scary just like Hajime.

-However, when you smiled sweetly, flowers and bubbles surrounding you, they melted, smiling goofily as you herded them towards the clinic as other guards arrived to handle those who tried to break out.

-Nobody broke out of Nanba, either being unable to or they chose not to, like Cell 13, because they didn’t want to be apart from you.

HAZBIN HOTEL GANG WITH CHIBI! READER

PLATONIC HAZBIN HOTEL X READER

You are like thumb size-

Like you are an absolute cutie pootie! Even Alastor agrees, in private of course. You are like a mysterious creature that appeared in the hotel one day and said.

“This ma home now losers!”

Charlie was hypnotized by your cuteness, even vaggie oddly as she tickles you under your chin as you giggle with a squeak.

Husk lets you sit by the bar as you eat these small pieces of chips he got for you so you can have something to eat while he watches over you and cleans glasses.

Angel lets you in his chest fluff like a pocket as you snicker with a gremlin ass smile. You always bite him for the fun of it which makes him put you in air jail.

When Lucifer met you, you better believed he came and kidnapped you out the hotel every second he got.

LUCFIER

He fell in love with you the minute he had his eyes on you from charlie’s shoulder. He held you so carefully like a baby as he didn’t want you to be scared of him as you are so small and he is bigger than you.

Like I said, he definitely “kidnaps” you from the hotel so he can make you a small house. Like a doll house with small duck toys your size but he probably just makes a normal size duck car so you can drive around his palace or the hotel.

“Look at their tiny car sweetie!” He says showing Charlie a video of you driving your car with small black shades.

He definitely cries at your cuteness as he curls up in a ball as you eat peacefully in front of him as he made you your favorite meal.

He would have you in his pocket but he definitely makes small outfits for you so you can be a mini him. He would also definitely have a picture of you in his wallet.

“Oh this picture? It’s my sweet baby!” He says with a pride smile as he shows it off

CHARLIE

Just like her father she cries at your cuteness as you are just the sweetest thing ever she ever had around the hotel as you just chill in her room with razzle and dazzle.

You ride razzle and dazzle on their back as you wanted to see Charlie who is doing trust exercises. You join kinda as Charlie makes you sit on her shoulder as you wiggle your cute little bobble around.

Charlie makes sure you are groomed, feed, and socialize around the peers of the hotel. She’s glad VAGGIE likes you also which makes her even happier

Charlie kinda brings you around a lot as she doesn’t trust you alone much in the hotel as there’s a lot things that can kill you in the hotel.

“Sweetie, it’s time for bath time!” Charlie says she gets a toy bathtub with bubbles and water for you as you squeak happily.

And when you sleep with Charlie and vaggie, Charlie literally wakes up at night with red eyes concerned if you are alive or not because she is scared she might have rolled over on you.

VAGGIE

“Okay remember the rules, no leaving this room no matter what. Don’t go into the big scary man’s room. And last rule, don’t ever eat sweets. You are banned from last time.” Vaggie says before scratching you under your chin as she leaves the room. You pout with a soft squeak.

Vaggie is very overprotective of you because of your sweet and small creature frame as it’s unbelievably cute. She literally asked Lucifer once and carmilla to make you a small weapon so you can protect yourself if she can’t

You left the room one time because you were bored and missed vaggie with her girlfriend as you wanted company. You wanted to socialize as you didn’t think it was bad to talk to the other residents in the hotel. VAGGIE found out and grounded you as if you were a child!

She doesn’t want a heart attack late at night so she would consider to have you a tiny bed on the night stand beside Charlie and her bed. She doesn’t have time to worry about you getting squashed but she doesn’t want you to die as you brought happiness to the hotel.

“Good night cutie….”

ALASTOR

You use to shake at the grin Alastor had. Vaggie told you stories about Alastor as you squeak with tears in your eyes. And oddly Alastor turned away gripping his cold heart as he couldn’t stand you crying.

He turned around and picked you up softly in his hand as you sniffle. You noticed he wasn’t hurting you so you squeak rubbing your chubby cheek on your thumb.

“Please smile little one, you aren’t dressed without one!”

And at the point, Alastor know to protect you. He would bring you around with him when Charlie didn’t have time to watch you. Which he gladly did for her as he would bring you around pentagram city and even bring you to meet Rosie who absolutely adores you too.

He even has his demon minions play with you as you squeak chasing them with your stubby legs. The shadows love you too! Even Alastor shadows who would pick play with you as you squeak happily feeling the shadow by you.

“Play nice..don’t wanna get scolded by the mean one again.” He says smiling at you chasing his shadows in the living room. He is definitely talking about VAGGIE who is surely scared for you to be around Alastor.

ANGEL DUST

“OW DONT BITE MY FLUFF HON!” Angel yells digging in his chest fluff to take you out as you mistook it for cotton candy as you nom on his fluff with a derpy face. You got banned from his chest fluff for a month before you would behave yourself and not eat his chest fluff thinking it’s cotton candy.

Angel loves for you to wear pink like him as he thinks it would be cute. He would definitely act like a rich “auntie” to you as he would make you wear pink shades with him and he would ask Lucifer to make you a pink hot car.

But he definitely has those toy car remote controllers to make it seem you are actually driving but aren’t as you squeak feeling like a hot girl/boy/person

“VROOM VROOOM!” Angel says making car noises as you squeak happily at this moment as Charlie records this happily.

You sleep on Angel’s chest fluff or ride fat nuggets like a steady horses as you squeak while fat nuggets oink. Angel likes to record you acting like a cow boy as it’s just adorable moment

“You’re the best thing a spider could have cutie pie.”

HUSK

This grumpy cat actually is less grumpy with you. He views as you as a little kid. He might not know what you are it he ain’t serving you beer at all. Your body might not handle it at all.

“Sorry kid, but that’s for adults.” He says pushing your squishy and chubby body away from the beer bottle he held. You opted with a mean squeak and a “hey!” As he smirk at your mad face which is terrible cute with puffed out cheeks. But you just drink water what he gives you as he cleans glasses watching you softly as his eyes dilate before he grumbles looking away.

You and husk are seen chilling at the bar every night even if it’s after your suppose “bed time” which was annoying to you but Charlie sen how cranky you were before you even had a such called “bed time”

“Aren’t you suppose to be in bed brat?” “……no….” “I’m telling Charlie.” “NOOO!” *mad squeaks*

Husk has a habit of poking your chubby cheeks as you eat as it annoys you. Husk just smirks as you try to bite his finger which obviously fails as you are quite slow since you are eating. But if you aren’t eating, then husk better pray for his fingers as husk accidentally let his guard down and you bit the shit out of his pointer finger which make him scream with a groan holding his pointer finger as you huff.

“Fine kid…I’m sorry for annoying you. But you must admit you are annoying to me sometimes even if you don’t see it.” He says softly as he pokes your sleeping figure by his bar.

SIR PENTIOUS

“Ah I see! You like to spend time with me!” He says happily having you in his hands as the egg boiz watch you with star in their eyes at your small frame. You are adorable and such a weird little thing as the egg boiz made a rule to protect from a lot of things.

You nap with the egg boiz and the snake demon as Pentious would have you warm if you say you are cold. He also makes small cookies, well if he can even as he loves to bake for you.

Vaggie tells him how you are banned from sweeties but he secretly sneaks you some if you pout at him with your soft cute little squeak and “please.” HE CANT REIST IT!

He definitely brags about how he could’ve been an overlord but saw the light to redeem himself as he sees potential in you and himself. Well he does t even know if you are a sinner or not. But he want to know how to redeem with you beside him.

He would love watching movies with you as you are in the popcorn bucket but he always look to make sure you aren’t the next popcorn he grabs or he would throw up in disgust from himself and for you health

“You are so adorable it hurts me to see you cry…” he says patting your head as you pout with teary eyes after you accidentally hit it against a wall

HAZBIN HOTEL X ROBLOX NOOB! READER

prompt: your best friend John Doe hacked you into a universe where hell is much different in your mind

“OOF-” you said as you press the buttons on your ps5. A portal opens as blocky person with yellow skin exits out of the portal looking at you. “JD!” You said with a “:P” face. “noob…you get to get out the house more…” John Doe said with a static voice as he picked up your bloxy body and thrown you into a portal as you kept smiling

“:) yay I’m falling.” You said out loud as you felt yourself fall in the air. You fell but landed on your feet like always. You look around to see that it smell like must, ass, and most importantly fire. You walked around just smiling as demons and sinners looked as if you were some weirdo…..

You came across the hotel and applied for a job to be the schedule manager. You got a red outfit to match vaggie and Charlie as you grab a flat board and started to write who gets to do what.

Noob! Reader is the type to pull out a cannon out of fucking no where and fuck someone’s life up🦆(a/n: pinkie pie type shit)

I can see Alastor watching you do a r6 dance as he just looked at you weirdly with a strained smile. You literally said out loud “/E DANCE!” And started to dance 😭

Lucifer got scared because he accidentally let you dove off a roof…but you respawned with a blue force field around you making Lucifer think you were an angel.

You love the egg boiz as they love you too! You do color sheets with them as Pentious brings you guys some cookies like a mom💗

You had onetime pulled a chainsaw out because husk said he needed to get a haircut on his fur. You literally pullled it out of no while husk jolted looking at your crazed face as you reved it up.

“You said you needed a hair cut!!” “I SAID HAIR CUT! NOT END MY LIFE YOU FUCKER!” Husk yells back as you chase him smiling like “:D” with the chainsaw. It was giving scooby doo as you kept chasing him.

Lucifer would be weirded out with Noob as noob just sticks their tongue out like the :P face while Lucifer pokes you curious about your game like box body.

I imagine noob! Reader showing Charlie a picture of bacon hair boy who is doing orange justice in the back. “Oh is that your friend?” Charlie says with a nervous smile at how your friend’s hair literally looks like bacon or is. You nodded excitedly as you wave your phone happily at bacon hair boy.

You blasted “it’s raining tacos” outside of the Vee’s tower when learning your friends had opps in there. So you wanted to annoy them.

This lasted for 2 days until vaggie had found you and took you home as you screamed out the song LOUD AND PROUD

I can imagine Lucifer making you a duck hat that says “don’t duck with me!” It’s so cute 🦆

I headcannon noob!reader to be the most dangerous being in hell as they literally been to every other gun and fighting game of the roblox universe.

NOOB SOLOS‼️‼️🔥

You know those badass Roblox games with those cool combat moves? That’s what you use. 🤨

You grabbed a sinner’s face and run dragging their body in the ground with a smile. You lifted your arm and swing them around as they flew to who knows where as the crew behind you had an either shocked or entertained face.

One time Charlie and you were shopping in a mall and you peaked over the boarder to keep people from falling. “I wonder if I can die from this height.” “NOOB NO-” that’s when you had to get a kid leash on you anytime you go out with the staff.

It was a nice day as Angel was throwing knives to increase his skills. You walked by him curiously grabbing two knives and throwing them at the same time. Making it hit the bullseye as Angel looked at you shock.

“Whoa kid, how did you learn to do that?” Angel asked pulling out the knives you made in the bullseye. “I was murder once!” You said with a happy smile as you walked away. Angel dust has the most confused face ever(picture below)

I headcannon noob!reader to be like Kirby. So like noob pulls out a knife to be murder, and then they could pull out a gun as Sheriff✨🦆

“Pew pew pew” you said as you stood on the balcony of the hotel as you shot at random sinners. Alastor appeared behind you confused but laughs at the misery of the sinner running when a missed shot almost killed them.

One time Angel gave you a Tommy gun not suspecting you know how to use it….you literally started to blast sinners away-

You SHOT AN OLD LADY ALSO😨

yeah Angel never gave you his Tommy gun ever again.

As you stayed in hell, you didn’t know that you would be spied on by the angels as Adam laughs at how chaotic and naive you are.

You’re so use to bullshit in Roblox you just stand there like “🧍🏾” as shit goes on. Literally when Charlie was panicking when the extermination was due in 6 months

During a uno game you ate a card as husk was trying to win but forfeited in anger as you screamed out uno. Leaving the missing card out of your mouth….it got quiet so quick as husk chased after you.

Niffty finds you amazing as you both have crazed tendencies. You both literally cause made chaos around places 🤭

YOU USE YOUR ADOPT ME SCAMMING SKILLS TO SCAM PEOPLE 😭😭 I CAN SEE THIS

The overlords are confused when they see Lucifer bring you to a meeting for once. You just sat there eating a taco. “Ello.” You said waving your blocky arm at them.

When watching the horror movies with the crew, you don’t react at all with Alastor as you been in lots of horror games with that one guy named Guest…you miss home and him.

I headcannon that you once accidentally summoned John Doe because you sneezed and he literally stood there as you hugged him. The rest of the crew was confused thinking he was your brother.

Hello :))))👋 just finished reading poly!ghoap angst and I had this idea...

Reader is always a happy person, she can laugh at anything but they just don't know her fake mask. Reader is a person who is mentally damaged and longs for affection because of her past (I still haven't thought about it), so the reader always takes a medicine called Happy Pill to feel happy (I think came up with this idea while reading your poly!ghoap angst and listening to the song Happy Pill.)

If you don't feel comfortable writing this, that's okay, I'm just sharing my ideas with you. I just love your poly!ghoap x reader angst. (And English is not my first language so I have to use google translate🥲 )

no worries! and thank you for the ask <3 it’s funny because i got sent this the same day i had to go pick up my anti depressants prescription after not taking them for almost a week ^^” so definitely relate to the happy pills LOL

you’ve always struggled with your mental health, it’s just something that comes with chronic depression. but it’s practically quadrupled in intensity since moving in with simon and johnny, especially since simon has it out for you. johnny only realises you have depression when you both run to the pharmacy to pick up johnny’s adhd medication, and you ask about the costs for having your sertraline being delivered to the apartment. his ears perk up, but he doesn’t say anything until you’re on the walk back home.

“sertraline, eh?” he says, his stocky hand wrapped around yours, swinging your arm gently as you two walk. you nod, biting the inside of your lip as you look away. “i, uh.. yeah. call ‘em my happy pills.” you jokingly say, eliciting a small squeeze to your hand from johnny. “i had no idea ye were takin’ em, lass. reckon i should remind ye that am always gonnae be here for ye, no matter what.” he replies, thick eyebrows raised as he beams over at you. this man will be the death of you.

when you head to your friend’s hen do, leaving simon and johnny to their own devices for the evening, johnny nuzzles up close to simon on the sofa as they watch a documentary. “did ya know that _____ takes antidepressants?” johnny says, glancing up at simon with raised eyebrows. simon just shrugs, not even bothering to tear his eyes from the telly. “none of my business.” simon gruffly replies, his bulky arm still wrapped around johnny’s shoulders. johnny hums in agreement, before the conversation dissipates.

simon doesn’t like you. he still doesn’t like you. but he’s not an idiot, he’s seen your dosage increase from 5mg to almost 40mg since you’ve moved in with them. he can’t help but feel particularly guilty about this, knowing he’s at least some what responsible for how your dosage has skyrocketed. perhaps he’ll lay off being a bastard to you for a couple of days.

makarov hunting an/a (enemy? long assassin?) reader who doesn’t really want to work with him- reader knows their stuff, erasing tracks, setting up traps, etc- its a game

призрак Cw: canon-typical death, murder, assassination, mercenary, blood, tell me if I missed any.

You were a ghost —призрак in his mother-tongue. Appearing whenever you wanted and disappearing before anyone could find you, a phantom in the business of assassination, a killer without too high of a price. He’s watched the aftermath of your handiwork, the shows you played and the kills you made, they were a masterpiece he wanted to witness, to utilise for his goals. Even from the darkness of his solitary cell, locked away in the Gulag - the Zorgaya prison complex - he kept hearing about your endeavours.

You interest him, your brought out a certain excitement, made adrenaline pump in his blood, when you were first brought up. You were the a ghost - a wraith - that haunted the world, killing off men and women for the right number. You were a killer for hire, one of the best in the industry that even he - Vladimir Makarov - had attempted to recruit, to tie you down to his name and fame, to have you work for his purpose. Permanently.

But you were a slippery one, escaping whatever trap he carefully laid out for you, falling through his fingers, finding the smallest crack - mistake - in his plan that he once thought was full-proof. You were smart, feisty and skillful, able to see through his carefully crafted words for a hire, pushing past the firewall of his mind and planting a virus, corrupting his original purpose, rooting yourself into his sick mind. This feeling, the way his heart rammed against his rib when you sent a warning shot, or when you escaped from his grasp, this wasn’t love —no, he was a being detached from such frivolous affairs. He didn’t love. He couldn’t with his cold, dead heart. This was an obsession, Makarov obsessed over things, he knit picked, he stole and took apart.

Makarov was a being whose conscious transcended the likes of capitalist westerners who’ve corrupted his motherland, small-minded and parasitic politician who made the Soviet Union crumble to dust; whose forgone the primal needs that made humanity weak —vulnerable; Vladimir Makarov was better than any man.

That’s where stemmed his obsession with you, the need to hunt you down. You portrayed yourself as a being higher than him. A better strategist and killer than him. It went from word of mouth to ear, Makarov heard from the other guards and new inmate speak of you, you achievements, the spike in your demands and the people who were ready to give you an arm and leg to pay for your service. Powerful men and women routing you an undisclosed amount of money to kill of someone, to have them assassinated in their own bedroom, to be drowned in their own bathtub or to be poisoned by their own wine.

He had Konni keep a track on your work while he waited for the right time to be freed, jumping back to work once he landed in Russia. He took it on himself to follow your steps, he had a hand in every sector of the underworld, dabbing in everything to keep his hold over the world. He couldn’t find anything about you, neither your past nor your character, you were nameless and faceless, the hooded mask obscuring your face from the world. Makarov’s best couldn’t even track you through cameras and find your deposit account, it seemed as though you had a team of your own, working in the dark to keep your and their livelihood going.

You evaded his traps, able to figure out which deals were made by him as a ploy to catch you, to find the ghost that haunted his mind. You were a disease, a parasite that unknowingly clung to him. You knew him, the messages he received through the grapevines, taunting remarks and threats that made him see red. You were too skillful, erasing your steps, making it seem as if you were never there in the first place, uninvolved with it, but the world knew who committed the crime. This was a game - or so he liked to think - of cat and mouse, he preferred being the cat, the dangerous and cunning feline who stalked the small mouse, he had to swallow his pride and confess that he played the mouse as often as he played the cat, being hunted and narrowly escaping because you let him.

But this, this meeting was a surprise, to see his призрак stand before him, tempted by the proposition he had to offer you —without any underlying meaning or hidden thoughts.

“мы наконец встретились, Призрак.” (We finally meet, ghost.)

Taglist: @sae1kie @yeoldedumbslut @tallmanlover @distracteddragoness @vxnilla-hxrddrugs @konigsblog @havoc973 @im-making-an-effort @daisychainsinknots @0alk0msan @danielle143 @dont-mind-me-just-existing-sadly @tuttifuckinfruttifriday

Riddle: Why are we here in the Mirror Chamber?

Vil: I received a call from Rollo and he wanted us to watch MC's cosplay performance.

Idia: He allowed them to cosplay?

Azul: I'm guessing he had no choice.

Malleus: What is a cosplay?

Idia: A cosplay is when you dress up as someone. It's mostly common to anime or cartoon fans.

Kalim: Will it be someone from Hazbin Hotel? I think it's someone called 'Carmilla Carmine', isn't it?

Idia and Azul: ...

Idia: You watch Hazbin Hotel?

Kalim: Yeah! It's a great show! And I like the songs very much! *beams*

Azul: ...What song is your favorite-

Leona: When will the cosplay performance start?

Vil: In a few minutes.

Malleus: Shroud, would you mind teaching me how to record a video?

Idia: Uh yeah, sure.

Riddle: Oh. It's starting.

The Dark Mirror: *shows MC cosplaying as Carmilla Carmine*

Kalim: Yay! I'm right!

Vil, Malleus, and Idia: *in amazement* Oh.

MC: I see you're driven by your detestation.

MC: Your every step is stoked with animus.

Kalim: *squeals*

Riddle: I-

Vil: They're dancing on pointe! Why didn't they tell me that they could do that?!

Leona: Because you would probably tell them to practice every day.

Malleus: *lowkey fanboys*

Idia: Uh, Malleus? Don't forget to click 'record'.

Rollo: *looking at their feet*

Rollo: Are they not broken yet?

MC: A little. But I need to give Carmilla justice so it's okay. *satisfied expression*

Rollo: You are really a weirdo. Anyway, I showed your performance to your friends.

MC: ...........

MC: You what?

Rollo: Why? *smirks* Are you shy?

MC: ...

MC: *embarrassed noises*

Rollo: *chuckles*

Malleus: I will show this to everyone in Diasomnia.

Leona: Herbivore scares me.

Kalim: I hope MC comes back soon so we can cosplay together!

Vil: Yes. I can't wait to see them again.

Riddle: *nervous for MC*

Azul: That was a fantastic performance. I will ask Jade to visit them.

Idia: Uh, why?

Azul: To ask the Prefect to perform in Mostro Lounge, of course.

The vice president: Great job, MC!

The secretary: You're famous now!

The vice president: Though the students are asking if your feet are okay after that performance.

Rollo: They're crooked now.

MC: ...

MC: At least it's not that crooked like your personality.

Rollo: What now?

The vice president and the secretary: *chuckles*