To Our Most Respected Colleague, Prosecutor Simon Blackquill,

To Our Most Respected Colleague, Prosecutor Simon Blackquill,

This tumblr 'ask' communication comes from, Firstly:

His Most Esteemed Thunderousness Mr. Apollo Justice, Attorney at Law, Standing Advisor to Her Benevolence, Crown Princess and Royal Priestess of Khura'inism Rayfa Padam Sahdmadhi Khura'in, and Retained Attorney for:

Their Ephemeral Holiness, High Prosecutor Nahyuta Sahdmadhi Khura'in, The Honorable Acting Regent of Khura'in.

Her Benevolence, Crown Princess and Royal Priestess of Khura'inism Rayfa Padam Sahdmadhi Khura'in.

And Her Mercyfullmess, Dowager Queen, and Grand Priestess of Khura'inism Amara Sigatar Sahdmadhi Khura'in.

Secondly this 'ask' come from:

Their Ephemeral Holiness, High Prosecutor Nahyuta Sahdmadhi Khura'in, The Honorable Acting Regent of Khura'in, and Standing Advisor to Her Benevolence, Crown Princess and Royal Priestess of Khura'inism Rayfa Padam Sahdmadhi Khura'in.

We have but few words for you, sir.

First, we both wish to apologize for our friends relatives and associates and their truly putrid attempts to sway your opinion as an impartial judge. We are taking care of this to the extent we can manage.

That said, we would both like to note that if you had no intention of picking between the two contestant's, you might have recused yourself, rather than give an answer apt to cause outrage among certain sensitive parties.

Or, to put it in Mr. Justice words alone:

Why are you like this? 😑

To our most respected colleague, Their Ephemeral Holiness, Acting Regent of Khura'in for Her Benevolence, Child of her Mercifulness, Sibling of his Thunderousness, High Prosecutor Nahyuta Sahdmadhi Khura'in, And to the highly respected Attorney, Revealer of Lies, Teller of Truths, Son of the Dragon, Student of the Phoenix, Apollo Justice.

This response comes to you from the Damned, Disgraced, Decried, and Disowned former son of His Great Lordship Fergus Blackquill, first of his name, as well as his wife, The Honorable Lady Ami Yuugami Blackquill, Currently practicing Prosecutor in the LA district of Japanifornia, In these United States, and former inmate in this self same district, Simon Blackquill.

My dear colleagues, Truly I have erred.

I had thought all parties involved would be capable of handling disappointment.

Apologies for the presumption.

-Simon Blackquill.

sometimes i worry i intimidate people. how does one determine something like this

Weary Reader.

That depends, what kind of intimidation?

Are they Physically scared of you? Or do they perhaps feel socially intimidated?

If they fear for their safety, considering you dangerous, there are a number of signs.

They may avoid eye contact, yet you feel as though they are constantly looking your way. This is perhaps most obvious when walking behind someone, and they keep shooting glances over their shoulders at you, in case you may be following them.

Another potential sign is if they seem just a little too agreeable. This is not a giveaway, they may be buttering you up instead, but if they are quick to agree with you, quick to change their opinion to match yours, (or at least claim to have done so) or even avoid speaking on the topic to avoid upsetting you, they may be afraid of you.

Another thing to ask yourself-is there anything about you that would be intimidating? I am quite tall, and while I am rather lean, I am also quite strong. I am intimidating in a dangerous sense. Cykes-dono is quite loud and energetic, and is, to some, intimidating to approach, in a social sense. You may not feel you can keep up with her.

There are more subtle signs as well, but these are some of the more obvious. Asking outright is only likely to get an honest response if they are not scared of you, making it a rather less fruitful endeavor.

If you wish to hear about more subtle signs, I will make every attempt to assist. But know, it is not always a bad thing.

Respectfully,

-Simon Blackquill

Hey, need help settling a debate and we settled on you as the cruel and impartial judge:

Who has better hair: The Fop Klavier, or Prosecutor Sahdmadhi?

Please answer, it's for science. (Also money)

Detective.

If you wish this to be anonymous, you must needs present the illusion of even handedness. Refraining from degrading the Sad Monk as he deserves does not hide anything if you attack Gavin-Dono in the same breath, Rather, It betrays you, as you would preach the man's "virtues" given the chance.

As for your query, first, this is not a request for advice. Second, as neither of them deserve such accolades, I must therefore ponder over it as I read my other questions. I see there are others in here regarding the topic, including one from you. I shall respond to one of these with my answer.

Regretfully,

-Simon Blackquill

An unnamed someone keeps asking if your hair is actually a wig made of skunk fur. Could you please enlighten them

Bemused reader.

I am only answering this ridiculous query as my inbox is otherwise empty.

Skunk fur would make a horrid wig. The texture is wrong. Also, I would have a much more pronounced white streak, much more of their hair is white, as seen here:

That is, of course, assuming that we were using the classic striped skunk everyone pictured. Another option would be still more awkward to gain a black wig from:

Impossibility.

Most important however, would be the stench. I do believe the chief prosecutor, in his wisdom, would label me a biohazard and have me removed.

In short, no. It is not. Further, if i discover you or your friend is skinning skunks to use as wigs, you shall be the subject of ridicule.

-Simon Blackquill

Hello Prosecutor Blackquill,

This is Forensic Specialist Detective Ema Skye. I am sending this anonymously because no one needs to see my Tumblr.

That's only partly relavent.

I sent you an ask to settle a bet on who has better hair: Prosecutor Sahdmadhi or that fopp Gavin.

There is currently a pot of 30000 Khura'inesse Rudens (30 dollars usd) riding on this bet. I will give you my whole share of the pot and buy you a beer to see The Fops face if you say Prosecutor Sahdmadhi has better hair.

Which he does, scientifically speaking. Hate him if you want, this is not a personality contest. Nahyuta Sahdmadhi's hair is better than Drill Head anyday.

Thanks,

Ema

Detective.

Isn't it? You are, after all, asking me to judge a subjective facet of appearance. You claim that the Sad Monk has significantly better hair, yet you also openly mock Gavin-Dono. Justice-Dono would, I believe, rank the popstar higher, and has only the most complicated of emotions on his gratingness. You may cry bias, but I believe you have a similar bias yourself.

But then, that is why you asked me, isn't it?

As I stated previously, neither of them deserve those accolades. I have one more query on this matter, and then I shall render my verdict.

-Simon Blackquill

would u ever get a cat

......

Who the devil-

Who are you? Athena, if you are writing in using my name, then your plan is foiled. A cat would be too dangerous to have around Taka. That could take a turn for the worst, and I hardly think you would wish to bury your feline friend as quickly as you got them. A Dog was trial enough....No.

And if, weary Reader, you are NOT one of my housemates, then I must ask...who put you up to this? Taka is my Hawk, and should we get a kitten, would surely eat them. A regular cat...I shudder to think. If I were sure the two would get along I would consider it, but that seems unlikely. I realize that this is not a question for advice, but as this is an advice column, I shall leave you with this.

Any pet is a massive undertaking. To adopt one is a noble goal, but you must make sure you are properly equipped for the task. I do not believe my living situation would be welcoming to another.

Always remember, animals are better then us, they deserve respect. Especially birds.

-Simon Blackquill