Just Finished Prepping My Portfolio Files For After Graduation, And Im Happy With How Much My Writing

Just finished prepping my Portfolio files for after graduation, and I’m happy with how much my writing has improved. There’s a couple of pieces that I still cringe at, though.

(🎶We don’t talk about The Art of Lying🎶)

Overall, I think there’s some sturdy examples among some pieces that I plan to revise and submit for another chance at publication. I’ve already been published once, unpaid, in the Scarlet Leaf Review.

Stray Kids + Water Gun Fight | Masterlist |

wc: ~750 genre: Headcanon warnings: None

Bang Chan

Fills up everyone's water guns at the start

Makes sure everyone has the water gun they want

Takes the smallest/most useless one so the kids can have the good ones

Hiding in the most obvious spot ever and giggling

Out first because dad is bad at games

Cheering everyone from the sidelines and refilling water guns

Scolding Minho for throwing rocks

Laughing, clapping, yelling, taking videos

Just enjoying the kids playing like a proud dad

Rats out Hyunjin's hiding spot

Lee Minho

Has to win at all costs, failure is not an option

Yelling various threats at all times

First one to chase Hyunjin out of hiding

Using physical violence to win

Attempts to cheat by using two water guns

Gets scolded for throwing rocks, sticks, water bottles, etc

Dodging the water somehow?? Like wow the skills on this man

Smirking! Lots of smirking and taunting

Makes it to the end on pure determination alone

Bragging on Bubble at the end of the day

Seo Changbin

Yelling! Literally the loudest person, yelling over Minho constantly

Wastes all the water in his gun because he's shooting it in the air just to meme

Gets out because there's no water in his gun when Minho finds him

LOUDLY whines about it

Continues yelling from the sidelines

Rats out every one of Minho's hiding spots to get revenge

Keeps trying to sneak back into the game

Eating all the snacks while everyone else is busy playing

Randomly yelling in English to make Chan giggle

Hwang Hyunjin

Somehow breaks his water gun right off the bat

Can't figure out how to use any of the other ones Chan gives him

Screaming, whining, drama llama antics

Hiding the entire time because he still hasn't figured out how to work his gun yet

Running as fast as he can away from Minho when he gets found

Tries throwing his water gun as a last resort while screaming

Pouts because Changbin ate all the snacks

Enjoys watching the game more than playing it

Taking selfies on the sidelines

Han Jisung

Telling everyone he's going to win because he's the best

Slips and falls so much that Chan lost count

Somehow lost a shoe while running??? But just one shoe, continues anyways

Low key kinda good at this

Slips and crashes straight into Minho, apologizes like his life depends on it (because it does)

Gets out because he took his eyes off Felix for a split second

Actual professional sports commentator on the sidelines

Still has not figured out where his shoe went

Loudly singing at all times, never stops vocalizing in some way

Lee Felix

More determined than Minho

Gamer mode: activated

Hunting everyone down like it's the Hunger Games or something

Laughing constantly from start to finish

Let's just take a moment to think about his freckles in the sunlight............. okay let's continue

Strategizing at a military level like the man has battle royale down to a science

Taps out everyone except for Changbin and Hyunjin

Jumping over and off of things like it's the Olympics (how does he have this kind of energy and where can I get some?)

Fortnite dances when he gets someone

Winner winner chicken dinner

Kim Seungmin

Forms an alliance with Jeongin at the start

Finding the best hiding spots

Super quiet, sneaking around everywhere

Nobody sees him until halfway through the game because he's hiding so well

Collecting extra water guns and hiding them in strategic spots just in case

Tripped Jisung at least once

Almost got Minho out but somehow it was dodged?? Claims cheating

Tapped out because his alliance was betrayed

Yang Jeongin

Feigns an alliance with Seungmin for protection, plans to betray him anyways

Rats Minho out for throwing things because Chan doesn't let anyone mess with Baby Bread

Gets everyone to feed him snacks through out the game because everyone is whipped for the maknae and he takes full advantage of it

Is allowed to have two water guns because nobody can say no to the baby, Minho complains loudly and dramatically about it

Taunting his hyungs in the most disrespectful manner possible like wow what a savage

Tiny fox laughter, smiling the whole time

Unsure how he got to the top 3 but doesn't want to be here (Gamer Felix is a lil terrifying)

Betrays Seungmin's hiding spot to Felix in exchange for not getting sprayed

Gets tapped out by Minho anyways (that's what you get for betraying the alliance)

general tag: @abiaswreck @nymeriaaa @lex-thesimpzzz @kp0p10v3r2 @wooyoungsbae @changsbin @hjsraccoon @hwxnghyunjin

sfw general tag: @yungisstar1117 @kun-flower @hwarora @queenmedi

skz sfw only: @daydreaming-my-life-away

Please fill out this form to be added to any of my tag lists.

(some of) my fav bestie moments ❤  

requested by @soobin-chois 

Blue | Masterlist |

Pairing: Jisung x Minho (Minsung) Word Count: 2.7k Genre: Angst, unrequited love Warnings: Hanahaki disease, descriptions of coughing / throwing up (obviously), descriptions of blood, descriptions of organ damage, like one curse word, unhappy ending

Summary: The one time that Minho thought Jisung was joking about his feelings, but the bloody flowers in the trash can told a different story. Sometimes silence is more painful than rejection, and sometimes you have to give up on your dreams - even if you disappear in the end anyways. A/n: Writing in third person after writing so much second person stuff has me fucked up y'all. Sorry if the wording is awkward or it feels like names are overly repeated. I'm rusty with non reader inserts. This has not been proofread, please send corrections to my ask. As always, if you enjoyed my work please consider reblogging because likes do not help visibility, nor do they give me any kind of feedback about my writing. Content creators thrive on feedback, please feed us, we're hungry. ost: Colors - Halsey

----- everything is blue - his pills, his hands, his jeans and now I'm covered in the colors, pulled apart at the seams -----

If you looked up the definition of 'hopelessly whipped', it would simply be a picture of Han Jisung staring lovingly up at Lee Minho in the practice room like he was doing right now. The clumsy quokka had fallen down for the fourth time today, his head too focused on holding back the coughing fits to concentrate on his dancing and inevitably tripping over himself. Minho stood above him with a stern look, holding out a hand to help him off the ground but Jisung just stared at him for a moment, admiring all the colors in his eyes from the lights reflecting off of them.

"It's rude to stare." Minho's voice had an air of playfulness to it, cracking a smile as he pulled Jisung back up to his feet. "What's gotten into you today?"

"Nothing, just a little distracted." Jisung replied, shaking his head and fixing his hair. The burning in his chest started to subside as he drank in this moment, fearful that it would all be over if he let the truth slip out unintentionally. For now, he would just swallow the petals back down and pretend that everything was fine as he became more lost in his bandmate's unwavering gaze. It wasn't often that they got to practice alone like this, but it was at Minho's request after the disaster of the last group practice. "I'm sorry, can you show me one more time, hyung?" Clearing his throat brought up the familiar ticklish feeling of the silky smooth petals, quickly washing it down with water before gesturing to Minho.

Minho simply nodded, stepping in front of the mirror as he quietly counted himself off. Jisung could only watch in awe, charisma dripping from every pore of Minho's body as he moved. It was truly a sight to see, such precise and fluid movements that appeared to be of little effort to him. Sometimes Jisung would ask him to repeat moves just to soak in how flawlessly he executed them, causing more love to blossom through his chest and fill his lungs, slowly killing him in the process. He shouldn't keep torturing himself like this, but he couldn't stop his feelings from exploding like an over-saturated sunrise, spilling up and over every part of him.

-----

Minho had gotten home late from a photoshoot, his outfit still in perfect shape as he hadn't had a chance to change yet. Upon walking in the door, he heard Jisung's frantic coughing spell and remained in the hallway, waiting to make sure his bandmate was going to be alright. Once the coughing had subsided and he heard a bit of shuffling in the room, Minho decided to wait on the couch to see if Jisung would come out, and surely enough he did.

"Are you sure you're feeling alright? That cough didn't sound good." Minho's voice was low, barely audible in Jisung's ear as he joined Minho on the couch. He was afraid of someone hearing his coughing fit, it had gotten worse overnight it seemed. The petals would force themselves up at all hours of the night, interrupting his sleep and forcing him to hide bags of bloody flower fragments around his bedroom. He shouldn't be up at this hour, but the burning and tearing in his chest was too unbearable for him to get comfortable.

"I think I'm coming down with a cold or something. I'm too uncomfortable to sleep." Jisung responded, his voice starting to become hoarse from the intense coughing and gagging over the last few weeks. It all started when he finally admitted to himself that he was absolutely, unequivocally in love with Minho, the realization coming after a series of vivid dreams. How he wished he didn't dream at all, then he could continue to live in blissful ignorance of his own feelings.

"Come here." Minho said quietly, shifting his position and opening his arms, gesturing for Jisung to lie on his chest. Suddenly the flower petals calmed themselves, settling back in his lungs for the time being as he placed his head on Minho. "I could knock you out with one of the cast iron pans."

"Joke's on you, baby, I'm into that." Both boys burst into laughter, trying to stifle the sounds in order to not disturb anyone. Jisung allowed himself to get comfortable, enjoying the comforting feel of the satin shirt Minho was still wearing and the muted cologne that surrounded him.

Minho may come off as cold to some, rough around the edges and quite mean when he wanted to be. But Jisung could see past the tsundere masterpiece before him, the love that Minho had buried deep within him always covering Jisung like a fresh coat of paint on a perfectly primed canvas. Red, he always thought. Minho was a striking red. Bright and vibrant, passionate and intimidating, but wholly misunderstood. But on nights like these, he was a comforting blue - calm and safe like the gentle waves of the ocean when the wind stilled. Jisung began to feel the exhaustion washing over him, his eyes fluttering shut as he relaxed and began to drift off. Minho wrapped his arms securely around Jisung, feeling his breathing slow as he fell asleep.

-----

"I think... I'm in love with you. Like, really in love with you." The truth fell from Jisung's lips before he could stop it, holding his hands up as if he could catch the words as they spilled. The silence of the studio made it all the more nerve-wracking, white noise completely eliminated by the soundproofing, leaving only the weight of the confession hanging in the air.

"Ah, you want me to buy you lunch or something? You only joke about loving me when you want to use my credit card." Minho joked, shaking his head as he chuckled.

"I'm serious. You're the most amazing person I've ever met, everything you do makes me fall more in love with-" Jisung's words were cut off by a seemingly forced laugh from Minho, his heart beginning to sink as he realized where this was going.

"Okay, okay, joke's over. I'll buy you whatever you want." There was a tinge of nervousness in Minho's voice, his laugh becoming more forced as his bandmate failed to join in the laughter.

"Hyung, I'm not joking." Jisung's eyes were shining with tears, the pain in his chest quickly increasing as he swallowed back the petals. He could feel them in his throat, working their way up as he watched Minho's face turn from amusement to a blank stare. The silence was so painful, and those flowers were creeping up again with more force, his lungs burning worse than they ever have before. It was getting worse, it was getting so much worse.

"Hannie, it's not funny anymore. Seriously, it was a good joke but-"

"I'm not-!" Jisung was caught off guard by the first cough, quickly reaching for the trash can next to the desk because he knew exactly where this was going. It was just too painful to hold it back anymore. "Fuck-" He hissed under his breath, the pain peaking as he choked wildly for a few moments before gagging up a perfectly intact rose and spitting it into the trash. The deep blue petals were coated in a mixture of blood and mucus, giving a slimy appearance to a normally beautiful object. He had never coughed up an entire flower before, it was significantly more painful than the petals and caused a few drops of blood to drip from the corner of his mouth.

"Jisung?" Minho's voice was filled with concern but his expression remained blank and unreadable, though his eyes were growing wider with each passing second. Jisung let out a defeated chuckle, the eerie sound filling the studio, though it was hopeless and hollow.

"You see? My body keeps trying to give you flowers..." A melancholy smile tugged at his trembling lips, knowing there was nothing more he could do to convince his tsundere bandmate. Instead, he tilted the trash can filled with dried petals and now a whole flower blossom so that Minho could get a better look at it. "It just hasn't figured out a less painful way do it yet." He wiped the blood from the corner of his mouth, his lip still quivering as he refused to look Minho in the eyes. Another sudden cough sent blue petals flying into the air, scattering across the desk and leaving small droplets of contrasting crimson in their wake. Surely the sharp leaves and thorns had scratched his throat up and would continue to cause damage as the disease progressed.

"I have to go. I forgot that I had a meeting with my manager." With those words, Minho quickly gathered his belongings and slammed the door behind him, disappearing down the hallway. Jisung sat at the desk for a moment, waiting for the coughing fit to calm itself, but two more rose blossoms fought their way out of him before he could take a deep breath. His lungs felt like they were filled with thorns, ripping and tearing at the surrounding tissue as he struggled to regulate his breathing.

With the click of a button, the studio was filled once again with Minho's voice, his vocal track playing while Jisung fished for a piece of paper and a working pen. He knew this would be the last time he set foot in the studio, tears streaking down his rounded cheeks as he scribbled a note with file names and passwords for Chan.

-----

Jisung tried to make himself scarce around the dorm after the incident, often refusing food or companionship in favor of sleeping for hours on end. The trash bags full of roses were piling up now that he refused to leave his bedroom, the metallic taste of blood becoming permanent on his tongue from the near constant stream of flowers and thorns.

Nonetheless, he found himself in the kitchen, having wandered there aimlessly when his original purpose was to take a shower. The smell of food being prepared had enticed him as his stomach growled, begging him to eat something - anything. All of his energy was going to the rose bush that was slowly ripping his lungs apart

"Where did these roses come from?" Chan asked, pointing to the vase on the counter that held eight beautiful, bright red roses. Jisung looked up from his staring contest with the floor to briefly peek at the flowers, his heart fluttering just a bit with the idea that maybe they could be for him. Absolutely unlikely, but the hope kept him from fleeing the room or making any kind of scene.

"Ah, my mother sent them, they came out of her garden. There's eight, one for each of us." Minho's voice was stale and flat, not bothering to look up from the vegetables he was cutting up on the opposite side of the kitchen. The sound of his knife hitting the cutting board caused Jisung to wince, his eyes falling from the flowers to Minho's careful hands. He was torturing himself again but he couldn't bring himself to look away.

"Oh, Jisung-hyung has blue roses, I think. I've seen the petals around the house." Jeongin looked up from his game to join the conversation. "Maybe you can try to breed them and make purple roses! Or wait... is that only in Animal Crossing?" He seemed a bit confused now, his attention back on his phone as he looked up the answer to his question when the tension in the room became too heavy. Jisung realized he hadn't been hiding his condition well, especially now that his eyes were beginning to sink in from lack of eating. The bags under his eyes were obvious, a result of his frequent naps being interrupted by both nightmares and beautiful dreams. It just added to his stress knowing that people had found the petals, despite his best efforts to hide and dispose of them.

Minho looked up from his task, meeting Jisung's gaze only for a moment before furrowing his brow and turning away. Jisung bowed his head once more, defeated and broken beyond what anyone in the room could possibly comprehend right now. As Minho spoke, it only added to the fire burning in Jisung's lungs, the thorns poking and prodding at his insides.

"Purple just isn't for me, it's not my color." The words came out staccato, stern, cutting the air like a sharp blade and causing everyone to tense up. Tears welling in his eyes and flowers threatening to force themselves up without much warning, Jisung turned and quickly made his way back to his bedroom. He was never coming out again while the others were awake, it was too much for him to handle. He didn't want to waste away in his bed like this, but what was he supposed to do? He needed a way out, it was the only option. But music was his life, his passion... he couldn't just leave it behind.

Attempting to distract from Jisung's sudden and slightly suspicious exit, Chan grabbed one of the roses out of the vase and looked it over. He gave a small frown, studying the smaller flower that didn't seem to be in great shape. "I think this one may have gotten damaged on the way here. It's a bit wilted and discolored... a shame, really."

"Take it out, then." Minho replied with a scowl. "It'll ruin the other ones if you don't."

-----

It was difficult for Jisung to hold back the coughing fits as he sat quietly in the car. He had arranged a meeting with the company's management team, unbeknownst to his bandmates that thought he was simply going to the studio or out for a meal. This wasn't a decision he had made lightly, his heart sinking into his stomach as he entered the large building.

The lights were bright, nearly blinding as he weakly made his way down a few hallways until he reached the elevator. He pressed the button for the correct floor before tucking himself into the corner, pulling his jacket closer to his body as if he were trying to hide in it. Countless times he had joked and played with Minho in this same elevator, the laughter haunting him as he stood here alone, the weight of his decision sitting heavy on his shoulders. Pulling out his phone, he scrolled through his contacts, selecting all of his bandmates and blocking their numbers. He wouldn't be returning to the dorm after this meeting, he couldn't bear to say goodbye. It was easier to just disappear.

Staring at the executives as he stepped into the eerily silent meeting room, Jisung knew he had no choice at this point. He would continue to deteriorate, coughing up bouquets worth of bloody blue roses until one day his lungs gave out or his throat collapsed in on itself from the damage. He had to get out, he had to get away. The longer he was around Minho, the more reluctant he was to have the flowers - and thus his ability to love - surgically removed. It was painful to look at him but it was so much more agonizing to imagine a world where he wasn't hopelessly in love with the temperamental tsundere. Sometimes the pain was worth it for the few moments of pleasure, but if he was going to waste away like this, he wasn't going to do it publicly. Even if he chose to have the surgery, he wasn't sure he could go through with it. Jisung wanted his last memories of Minho to be how much he loved him, how bright the world seemed when he was around.

The men in the room gave a questioning look at the silence, causing Jisung to let out a heavy sigh before he spoke, his voice shaky and hoarse.

"I'd like to void my contract."

-----

Official Statement from JYP Entertainment -

After many negotiations, we have come to an agreement regarding Han Jisung's request to void his contract with JYP Entertainment due to ongoing health issues. Jisung will terminate all activity with Stray Kids and 3RACHA, effectively immediately. We are working diligently to make arrangements for the upcoming activities and will give a statement when more information is available.

We at JYP Entertainment wish Jisung the best in terms of his health and ask that you respect his privacy at this time.

----- everything is grey - his hair, his smoke, his dreams and now he's so devoid of color, he don't know what it means -----

general tag: @abiaswreck @nymeriaaa @lex-thesimpzzz @kp0p10v3r2 @wooyoungsbae @changsbin @hjsraccoon @hwxnghyunjin

sfw general tag: @yungisstar1117 @kun-flower @hwarora @queenmedi

skz sfw only: @daydreaming-my-life-away

one-off tag: @woosansang

Please fill out this form to be added to any of my tag lists.

Before I attempt sleep (it’s 12:22 am), I just wanted to say that despite the crock of 💩 that happened tonight, my younger brother made it all better. I was frying some fries for dinner to go with the burgers my mother made and I was listening to Stray Kids, specifically ODDINARY. Venom was playing as my brother walked in and he immediately started vibing. He already knows about them and already shows favoritism towards Felix, no thanks to my constant gushing about him and naming the Fortnite chickens after him 😂

Tl;Dr Bubba and I listened to Stray Kids and I think he really likes them, more than the few BTS songs he knows 😄

Go Quokka, Go Quokka 🕺🏻🕺🏻

I also have a Snorlax named Binnie, a Cinderace named Leebit, and a Yamper named Seungmo 😄