In Some Ways I Kind Of Want To Die, Like I Wrote A Suicide Note, Found Out How Much A Gun Costs, And

In some ways I kind of want to die, like I wrote a suicide note, found out how much a gun costs, and picked out a time and place. But in other ways I really want to fucking live. Like I want to be a famous animator and be an inspiration for people. But getting better is so fucking hard. Getting better means I have to try, and I don’t want to try. Because trying means I actually have to start living. Idk

I would reccomend the book full brutal by Kristopher triana. It definitely fits the criteria that you described and might be my favorite extreme horror book of all time. You will go from hating the main character to cheering her on over and over. It’s a slow burn in a way, the dark stuff doesn’t start until a while in but when it starts it SNOWBALLS FAST!

Horror Book Recommendations Needed

Hey guys! I absolutely love horror in any form (ARG, Movie, Game, Book, etc.) and lately have gotten into Splatterpunk/Extreme/Disturbing horror books.

The only thing is that multiple books I have been recommended are from the perspective of the killer/person doing the disturbing stuff and from the ones that I've read so far those just... don't work?

Like not in a 'haha I'm so desensitized' way because there are books with objectively less fucked up shit happening that I am disturbed by and enjoy reading. It's just that no matter what the protagonist is doing if they are just clinically describing it to the point where it feels like just another Tuesday, that actively takes me out of the book and out of feeling disturbed. If I'm reading disturbing fiction I'm reading it for the purpose of feeling DISTURBED and if I'm not disturbed while actually reading it then it doesn't feel like its doing it's job as a book.

I'd love to go more in depth about my thoughts on it but for the moment I want to see if there are any recommendations for me to get more data about these kinds of books.

So if you do know of any books that specifically have the protagonist as the person doing the disturbing stuff please let me know I want to see if there are good ones.

Two last things about any recs tho:

Nothing that jumps around perspectives to like, show other peoples direct responses I need it to be one persons pov

Nothing where its like 'oh the protagonist is doing this messed up thing but its totally normal in this society' so no like Tender is the Flesh type of deal

Thank you for any help!!!

Y’all remember when Taylor turned into a lobster bug for like 7 minutes? I think about that sometimes, wtf was that

she para on my human til i worm in her ward

Charlie being touch starved but unaware of it

damn girl you really suck at pretending to be human