Npd Positivity - Tumblr Posts

NPD traits haver here! NPD affects literally every aspect of my life. Personal relationships are much harder because I either need people to think I’m better than them or I need to hate them enough that they’re automatically inferior to me so their opinion doesn’t matter.

My intense aversion to feeling inferior to anyone makes it really hard to be vulnerable with people and I rarely have stable friends. All my friends I befriended at a time in their lives when they were unstable, unsure of themselves and their opinions and socially awkward because they’re far more likely to have an inferiority complex which makes them far more likely to think I’m better than them.

The downside of that is that I then have very unhealthy relationships with people because stable people make me feel threatened so I immediately revert to hating them and two very unstable people in a friendship is a recipe for disaster.

I also end up getting very visibly frustrated at times when I’m not the one leading a conversation because I can’t stand to be in the background. I also have an intense need to be the one people go to for advice because why would they ever go to anyone but me for what they need? But then when they do come for advice I hate actually giving it because them being emotional and really needing something from me overwhelms me, which makes me frustrated and then that frustration turns into anger/apathy.

There’s also a part of me that really struggles to tell which of my feelings in a relationship are caused by what. All my relationships are somewhat superficial and not knowing whether I like this person for them or for the attention they give me can be worrying.

NPD makes things very hard but it gives me good traits too. I befriend loners, treat people how I want to be treated and even if my actions have greyer motivations I am strongly inclined to do the right thing no matter what.

For example whilst someone might see bullying and go “I have to stop it because it’s wrong” I would go “I have to stop it to prove I am morally superior and an amazing person”. At the end of the day we both end up doing the right thing and that’s what matters.

I rambled but yeah.

Anyone with personality disorders willing to share difficulties in relationships/intimate connections?? Asks, comments, rbs??

-Cluster b (borderline) trying to get to know more about the other clusters and PDs because you never really understand until you talk w em I find.

For me personally the main trigger is just fear of abandonment and emotional permanency. Which literally categorizes bpd but idk if other clusters are as interpersonally defined and recognizable as b???

You're all valid! This is a safe space correct me if I said anything wrong.


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I love you people who show kindness because "it's what you're supposed to do". I love you people who show kindess because they like being thanked. I love you people who show kindness because it makes them feel good. I love you people who show kindness because they were shown kindness first. I love you people who show kindness for "selfish" reasons. I love you people who show kindness for the "wrong" reasons. I love you people who show kindness in a body that rejects the very notion. Your kindness is not any lesser because of its motivations. The good you added to the world is just as valuable as someone doing it for the "right" reasons. Your effort is seen. Your effort is valued.


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So many of my NPD traits come from being told the exact opposite of what the disorder is all about. I spent years and years being constantly told both through actions and words that I was inferior. That I didn’t matter. And I will be damned if I let anyone make me feel inferior again.

That’s really what it boils down to. It’s not about being more than. It's about the intense dread of being less than.


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"i support pwNPD!"

then people get pissed when we have low empathy or low sympathy, people get pissed when we act egotistical, people get pissed when we show traits of NPD that are 'stereotypical'.

do u support NPD or do u just "support" NPD to be seen as a good person?


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the Study of Wild Narcissists (accurate version)

Reporter: And here we see the narcissist in its natural habitat. This creature is nervous and easily startled so we approach it carefully.

Reporter: When approaching your narcissist, make sure to appear unthreatening and friendly. Extend a hand and give it a compliment or ten. Let it know it can trust you and it’s appreciated.

Reporter: Once the narcissist is comfortable with you, make sure to keep reminding it that you are not a predator. Whilst displaying as predators, many narcissists have the instinct of prey. Be gentle and patient.

the Study of Wild Narcissists (ableist version)

Reporter: Oh my god! It’s a wild narcissist! I bet it was stalking me. We need to scare it off. Quick, charge at it!

Reporter *wielding a stick*: It’s growling at me! Do you see that? What a vicious and evil creature… I’m going to prod it and see what happens.

Reporter: It’s attacking! What an unfair and unexpected reaction! We should have done more research on how to kill it!

Reporter: Oh, wait. False alarm, guys. That wasn’t a narcissist. That was a random, slightly mean creature. Damn, this is the fifth time that’s happened.

Reporter:

Reporter: But what’s that over there? Is ThAt A nArCiSsIsT?


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narc abuse believers: “actually npd and narcissism isn’t the same thing☝🏻🤓”

narc abuse believers in the next sentence: “ppl with ‘npd/narcissists’ are evil entities that should be castrated and thrown in jails for existing!!!🔪🔪🔪”

like which one is it


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How to handle a narcissist

A guide to dealing with these wild creatures in a safe and responsible manner

Feed them cupcakes and admiration to build trust. All creatures do better around those who provide them with sustenance. Do this from a distance at first as to not spook them.

Only carry a narcissist with permission, and do so bridal style. Do not scruff or attempt to pick a narcissist up by the limbs. This will injure your narcissist and cause them to feel threatened.

Wrap your narcissist in validation and a nice warm blanket so they feel safe from predators. This makes the narcissist docile. They are less likely to feel attacked this way.

Make your narcissist hot chocolate and let them tell you stories about themselves. This is the narcissist’s main source of enrichment, and they love it when others engage supportively in their play time.

Narcissists are creatures with low self-esteem. They are prone to anxiety and depression as a result. In order to build your narcissist’s self-esteem, make sure you compliment them daily. Each narcissist will have a unique set of insecurities and things they are proud of. Be sure to get to know your narcissist and what forms of comfort they prefer.

As I said before, narcissists are anxiety prone creatures. They have a tendency to overthink and be perfectionistic in nature. To combat this, give them a little forehead kiss and start discussing all the great things you love about them in detail. This will trigger an instinctual response that will cause them to gain more confidence in themselves.

Do not attempt to train a narcissist unless you are an experienced professional. Doing so could result in a worse behavioral and emotional outcome. Instead, be patient and gracious with your narcissist as they receive training from a qualified field member.


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1 year ago

We love when people post things like this. It genuinely makes us so happy and not feel like we're a monster for having NPD. So thank you everyone who posts things like this :)

-Tomura

dear npd people with manipulative tendencies that theyre working on, i love you

dear npd people with intrusive thoughts, i love you

dear npd people with a billion different blogs for all the possible attention, i love you

dear npd people with low or no empathy who dont try to mask it, i love you

dear npd people with low or no empathy who DO try to mask it, i love you

dear npd people who have been told they're wrong their whole lives, i love you

dear npd people, i love you


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NPD Tags Are Filled To The Brim With People Repeating The Mantra Of "narc Abuse" Not Being Real And While

NPD tags are filled to the brim with people repeating the mantra of "narc abuse" not being real and while it's true, it isn't real, we've gotta focus on offering actual help to pwNPD. Destigmatizing NPD is great but let's talk about how to fucking handle it too.

With that being said, here's my contribution on how to prevent/lower the likelihood of a narc crash:

Journal or tell your closest ones about your emotions, even if they feel miniscule. Every negative emotion counts. This might seem obvious but pwNPD are very prone to ignoring our emotions in favor of getting supply. Look, I know you "can handle it" and "only weak people have emotions" but you're a person and you have fucking emotions. It's more embarrassing to handle the post-effects of your crash than to try to prevent it, trust me.

After a crash happens, reflect on what actually caused the feeling of insecurity/distress that led to it. Sometimes it's other people, unfair criticism, or both plus our inherent feeling of needing to match a social standard. Try to figure out what caused it and either distance from the trigger or find a way to limit its access to you. Maybe next time, you will be more prepared for the oncoming emotional flow.

Limit who can criticize you. I guess it's harder for those of us with public pages online but actually limit who the hell has a right to critique you. Not everyone is a good critic. Some people will tell you shit just to upset you. Sometimes people won't be obligated to give you any attention at all. It fucking sucks but limiting the number of people who have the RIGHT to affect you might help. For me, it was a rule: What I think and what my FP think matters, everyone else can disappear.

Find means of reminding yourself how great you are. Do you need to admire yourself in the mirror? Reread that sexy post you made? Look at your art again? Check the notes on your favorite aesthetic post? Do you need to reflect on how many people have admired you over lifetime or, maybe, how many compliments you heard last time you did XYZ? Be fucking vain.

Overall, narc crash isn't something that one can entirely predict or prevent, but it's how we react to it that matters. Warning your loved ones that you require attention/supply, taking care of your damn body so you don't overexert yourself for others, and being mindful of your own emotional reactions might help.

Not everyone is going to have the mental capacity to stop themselves from overreacting/communicating poorly, but as long as you learn from your past mistakes you should be fine. Good luck.

NPD Tags Are Filled To The Brim With People Repeating The Mantra Of "narc Abuse" Not Being Real And While

P. S. I hope you're all big boys and know I do not mean this to be some sort of universal advice. It helped me, and maybe it will help you too.


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1 year ago

ik this was the implications of the post but i wanna js type it out anyways that it feels really shit sometimes to live in such a shameful world that is so focused on everything being right.

i know sometimes the need to be good and "worthy" and all the other fun shame npd/hpd shame things in my head is exaggerated, but there truly is so much external shame. like where do we think it came from?

i was ranting to my friend about feeling inadequate in my kindness. that i felt shame for being selfish about it. that the fact i loved the attention from being kind made me feel so shit about myself. so horrible. that i was disgusting for it. that im a fraud. that i felt that i constantly had to mask because i either had to be kind or be shunned from society. that i had to be kind or the scum of the earth. that the fact i had to mask with kindness meant that i was actually the scum of the earth. because "truly kind" people didn't have to mask.

and that my kindness wasn't good enough. that i wasn't doing enough. that i was not good enough in my kindness because it was imperfect, or that it was because it was too inherently selfish which made it shit. or not worth it.

they told me that they literally did not care where my kindness came from. just that i was kind to them mattered. and that i was doing enough! that imperfection isn't bad! that kindness isn't going to inherently be good or perfect. that its okay to want thanks and praise for it. that i have needs too.

that i have needs too.

and that i did not always have to mask. kindness goes multiple ways, i can offer kindness. and people can be kind to me back when i am being a bitch. that i did not always have to hide the bubbling anger and hurt inside me. (because i matter too) (that i do not have to earn kindness) (that i do not have to earn kindness).

they also brought up that i was kind in so many ways that could make an impact. selfish or not. kind to the six year old kid that i'm going to grow up to hate. kind to the kids i've adopted in year 7 that i sometimes resent. kind to my friends who are complicated and hard and who deserve love no matter how much sometimes my brain gets so tired of loving and hurt from loving that it takes the feelings away again, that it makes me want to kill them sometimes. kind to my horrible ex, where its so much easier to be kind to them than my other friends but also so much easier to hate them forever. kind to them, always.

(they are truly the nicest to me) (and they make me better for it)

they told me that my kindness was a choice. that i chose over and over again to be kind. even if it was probably more of an inconvenience. even if it is the bare minimum, the fact that i choose it over and over again is so cool. (that even when it's the bare minimum most people do not realise how unkind they are as they preach its importance). that my kindness mattered no matter where it came from.

im just going to copypaste the thing they sent me

"the motivator is invisible!!!! you could be chaotic evil but all ur evil deeds are fundmentally kind and it literally would not matter!!!!!!!!! i know it wont change it, the feeling of hating and loving the attneiton as a thing that is good/bad wont change just from sasying this but i rpomise

it feels bad but its not"

who cares what a "truly kind" person is? that's not a thing.

i am kind for a multitude of reasons. i am kind because i learned to care about (some) people. i am kind because i want to try to help kids be happier, so they wouldn't end up like me (so that they won't hurt other people, so that they won't hurt themselves) (and even if they end up like me they will have someone to go to, someone who is somewhat positive in their lives, someone who will not hate them for being like me). i am kind because i love the attention from it (and i have to remind myself that that's okay, that i am not bad for wanting people's care). i am kind because i choose to be (and i don't always have to be).

and that's pretty cool.

I love you people who show kindness because "it's what you're supposed to do". I love you people who show kindess because they like being thanked. I love you people who show kindness because it makes them feel good. I love you people who show kindness because they were shown kindness first. I love you people who show kindness for "selfish" reasons. I love you people who show kindness for the "wrong" reasons. I love you people who show kindness in a body that rejects the very notion. Your kindness is not any lesser because of its motivations. The good you added to the world is just as valuable as someone doing it for the "right" reasons. Your effort is seen. Your effort is valued.


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Does anybodys npd make them egotistical but only internal? I dont really show my npd its more of “YES IM THE BEST EVERYONE ELSE SUCKS” but then i actually interact with people and all they see is a anxious idiot in a sweater and shorts listening to shitty vocaloid music


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1 year ago

Mhm. No one actually cares about abuse victims. They just want someone to demonise to make themselves feel better

You want me to acknowledge that narcissistic abuse is real, that it's different from just abuse, and that even most abuse victims could never understand the trauma suffered by victims of narcissistic abuse?

Okay. Your wish has been granted.

Narcissistic abuse is real. Narcissistic abuse is abuse that turns someone into a narcissist. The phrases "narcissist" and "victim of narcissistic abuse" are synonyms. The victim of the abuse is the narcissist, not the abuser.

Wait, what's that? You're still angry? You're more angry than you were before? But how is that possible? You wanted me to acknowledge that narcissistic abuse is real and causes unique trauma that no one else can understand. And you got your wish. The only difference is who is being classified as a narcissist. So why are you angry?

Could it be because you never actually cared about victims of abuse? Could it be because you just wanted a convenient group of people to demonize?


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1 year ago

This is such a bullshit take. No one deserves the right to hurt anyone, and systemic enabling of cruelty to others cannot be compared to an individual’s choice to abuse someone. You can’t claim to stand against ableism if you’re going to turn around and say, ‘actually, narcissists can’t survive without hurting people and they deserve the right to do so.’ You’re perpetuating the stigma against NPD here.

"They have to hurt people. Their livelihood depends on it."

When this is said about the police who fine, imprison, threaten, assault, or sometimes even murder people, it's used as a defense.

When this is said about landlords who raise their tenants' rent then evict those who can't afford it, it's used as a defense.

When this is said about small business owners who pay their employees poverty wages, it's used as a defense.

But when it's said about narcissists, it's used as evidence that they're irredeemably evil.


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1 year ago

Y’all in my psychology class we are talking about mental disorders this week. Tell me why my teacher showed a celebrity example of each disorder, and for NPD she showed HITLER. For aspd she showed Marilyn Manson! The rest was like Selena Gomez and shit. Is that really the best example of NpD and aspd? She said on Wednesday we will talk more about NPD.

Should I tell the class I have NPD? I don’t know what to say I want to defend myself but I suck at debates. Any advice?


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1 year ago

I think you should definitely talk to your teacher about the whole hitler npd thing and maybe give them some better examples to use instead but that completely sucks and I think if you want to tell people, you don’t have to defend yourself, you didn’t chose to have npd

That’s a good idea. Yeah I’m really not that open about it irl becuase of the stigma. The issue with the celebrity thing is that there really ISNT any openly NPD celebrities, at least not in the way for example howie mandel is open about OCD. It’s sort of a loop. There is stigma so nobody says they have NPD, which means there are no good role models for NPD, and the stigma gets worse.


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1 year ago

just had my last therapy session and honestly man i'm so glad she helped me sm christ

i love being my own person and taking care of myself and being gentle with myself. even if there's something permanently different about me it's ok, i just need to learn how to cope


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1 year ago

something that has helped me disconnect from codependancy is realizing that married couples arent always together. they live together and spent time together but a lot of the time they just arent together but they still love eachother. they dont need to sleep in the same bed they dont need to constantly show eachother affection they can just coexist and still love eachother unconditionally. love isnt sacrificing every moment for someone, its having your life made better by their existence while you live


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4 years ago

Systems with NPD…. 🥰


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