Welp Folks, I Just Pulled A Major Oof. Usually I Think That I Have A Pretty Good Control Over My Hunger.

Welp folks, I just pulled a major oof. Usually I think that I have a pretty good control over my hunger. Yes, I indulge, but I’m usually pretty smart about it. Today while mountain biking though, I slipped. Maybe it was because of me forgetting breakfast or not bringing any snacks or something about bicycle shorts that make guys look more appetizing. Due to probably all three compounded I pounced on this guy looking at the map. He was probably only 20 or 21, average height with the average build of a guy who works out, but doesn’t prioritize it too much. We had a little small talk and he seemed nice enough, though that didn’t apparently seem to matter. Without thinking, I got off my bike, walked over and shoved my open mouth over his brown hair. Now what? I was almost out of steam to begin with, but now I’m carrying a 150 lbs man on top of that. I really could’ve planned this out better. I thought of letting him out and getting someone by my car, but I run the risk of him also being a Pred. I got him from the back. He didn’t know what was happening until it was too late. It would be hard to fend him off and even though I’d be saving his life, he probably wouldn’t be too happy about me trying to steal it in the first place. Oh well, gotta start heading back sometime. It’s only about a mile and I’ve gone farther full when walking, just wish it wasn’t so bumpy.

That look when you realize what getting eaten actually entails, but your pride says it’s too late to back out.

The next afternoon

Huh, lost that bet.

It had been a long day at the bank. You had only worked there for the last couple months, but had already made more than all your college jobs combined. To celebrate that milestone you had used your newfound saving to get a brand new bright Orange mustang. It had been your dream, and there you have it, at just 25. You picked it up rather unceremoniously the night prior from the dealership and had only driven it to home and then to work in the morning. Though traffic meant you didn’t break 10 mph the whole gruel to work, you somehow didn’t mind. It was a Friday and you’d finally earned a long weekend with your new sports car.

Walking out there’s a hot pair of sunglasses standing next to your beauty.

“That yours?”

“Yeah, just got it yesterday!”

“I always wanted a mustang. This is my first chance to get one new.”

That response seemed a bit odd, but you decide to give the dealer’s info

There’s a flash and the weirdest sensation comes over you. It takes a moment, but you realize why you had to get a hefty life insurance policy before getting the car.

This is the last thing you’ll ever see. In a flash everything goes dark and you’re halfway down his gullet before you realize what’s going on. You were in a serious relationship, moving up at work and even settled your student debt. Funny how life works. You work your tail off for a decade and when you finally have things pretty good you wind up some guy’s lunch.