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Shhh, just calm down buddy. Don’t worry I’ve got you. I’m sorry it has to end this way, but at least we’re together now.

Hey don’t be like that, I warned you what could happen if I got drunk and you took the risk anyways.

Nah bro, I told you I don’t even remember doing it. I just kinda woke up with a headache and you in there.

Yeah, I mean I guess regardless of what happened last night I could let you out now, but isn’t there some degree of fate that led you in there? I know it was an accident, but maybe this is where you’re meant to be.

You’re in there already anyways, might as well be a good sport about it. C’mon, relax for old time sake.

When they said you could try anything on before purchase, I don’t think they were talking about their store associates.

My psychology professor told me that red is used by companies to invoke hunger and excitement. So naturally when I saw a muscular man in a tight red speedo you invoked, well, hunger and excitement.

Lifeguard? Yeah, I knew you worked here, it’s part of this pool’s great customer service, right?

Woah there, I’m gonna have to lie down if you keep doing that.

Wow, you are a strong swimmer! I like this lifeguard meat. You tasted amazing, but once inside you feel better than anyone else I’ve eaten.

Well, of course you aren’t the first. You’re a strong dude, I couldn’t get you down that easy without practice. And judging by the way you feel now, I can guarantee you won’t be the last lifeguard!

I almost wish I didn’t have to digest you; keep you thrashing around in me, but oh well, you know circle of life.

Just because he was the slowest member of the team, didn’t mean he wasn’t the most important. They’d coordinate for a moment the other team’s star wasn’t paying attention and strike. Nine times out of ten he could still outrun their fastest guy when he wasn’t prepared and it looks like this time isn’t gonna be any different. Just waiting for the perfect chance to strike in order to disqualify his target from every race.

Some men say that there’s only two types of men, predators and food, but not him. To him every man is just that, a man. The fact that a man is not merely just food is why they’re such a delicacy to him. The soul and conscious and purpose is the very reason why he devours them with such passion. Nobody was destined to be eaten until chosen by him. And now he has chosen you. Don’t try to argue your worth and attributes in order to escape his fleshy prison, those things are the thrilling details that make you his favorite delicacy. Just accept the turn of events and he’ll treat you well as you slowly melt to become one with him. Have a nice trip poor stranger, you’re his alone now.