You Arent Gonna Lie You Had A Bad Feeling About Taking This Shortcut, Even If You Couldnt Put Your Finger

You aren’t gonna lie you had a bad feeling about taking this shortcut, even if you couldn’t put your finger on why. It was fine though because you were honestly enjoying your afternoon walk. As your AirPods died and the dark clouds echoed a threat of coming rain the vibes soon changed as you turned short. Passing by the alley, you heard your inner voice tell you to avoid it. Just two steps in you got a little creeped out and turned around, continuing down the winding streets. But before you got to the corner you couldn’t help but laugh at yourself and return to that alley. It’s a safe neighborhood, you rationalized. It’s just the dark clouds that have you a bit on edge and wouldn’t it make sense to take the shortest way home to avoid them. About a block down the way you spot a hunking guy walking towards you. It’s a bit chilly out, so you recognize his shirtlessness as a bit silly, but not crazy unusual. You think nothing of him until you get closer and can’t help but notice he seems to be staring at you. You try to give him as much space as possible without seeming nervous as you pass by him. Just before you go on your separate ways he seems to steer himself towards you. Not wanting to take any chances you launch into an all out sprint as adrenaline hits you like a Mac truck. But as the first raindrops hit the pavement in front of you, you hear a pair of rapid footsteps hitting the pavement behind. You know in that moment your worst fears have been realized. Instead of listening to your gut, now you’re gonna fill his. You slowly turn your head just as it all goes dark.

Like what you see? Because I think I’ve got some plans for the delicious stud I’m seeing

You go through many prey in a week

Not really. A lot of folks don’t seem to realize how big men really are, so it takes a little while to digest them. Though the actual count is impacted by specific prey body composition and how much I exercise and a million and a half other variables, there is a general rule of thumb we can use. 1lb of non-water weight is about 650 calories. I’m decently active, so I usually burn an average of 2500 calories per day. So if an average man I eat is 160 lbs, that’s 64 lbs non-water weight, 41,600 calories to burn, taking 17 days to fully digest. So with that figure, I consume 22 guys per year on average. Not that many of you’re looking Year to Year, but that’s still a lot of guys when you think that each one of them had a name, family, friends, a unique story and a future, only to serve as my food.

What? Why you giving me that look, a man’s gotta eat. Do I not have the right to eat food when I’m hungry? Geez

“Some guys eat big to get big and other guys like me get big to eat big. At the end of the day it’s all about your priorities. I’ve trained and become the fiercest indestructible beast that has alphas for breakfast and that’s what drives me in this journey. Not that I judge folks who eat guys as a bodybuilding short cut. I love those guys because they get really bulky and, well that’s probably my favorite meal!”

Joe Carabase

You know what? Fine. Go ahead. I don’t even care anymore. You’ve been pestering me about this so much for so long that now I can’t even take a shit without you trying to convince me to let you take me. It’s exhausting. I guess you win. You happy now? You happy this is how this relationship ends? I only stuck with you for so long because I knew you’d eat me if I broke up with you, but now I don’t even know that you’ll wait for that. So c’mon. Gobble me up like the monster you are. If I’m nothing but food to you, treat me like food, just get it over with. Right here, right now!