Throwback To The Time I Gave My Cat All Of My Busking Tips.

Throwback to the time I gave my cat all of my busking tips.

I was counting them, and she came over and seemed curious about them, and from that moment on they were hers.

God,

I wish I could have loved you—

thank god I didn’t.

In another

world

you and I fell asleep on that couch together,

sharing the taste of cherry vodka.

And I think for once

I would not have tried to fix everything.

I think I would have let you make me beautiful,

feral,

and a thousand times worse.

We made that picture together—

the three of us.

Chosen media: crayon,

we did our best to

replicate Van Gogh,

to create the swirls and beauty of The Starry Night.

I look at my wall of beautiful tapestries

and this is my favorite,

cradling memories within the scribbles

until I need them again.

Could someone please

come over here

and press their soft palms against my brain

until all is silence?

I move day by day,

s l o w l y,

savoring the taste of

life on my tongue

even as

I strain toward the future I am

impatient to have with you.

I remember what it felt like

to be

alive.

Before the

cold settled in the air

thickly, packed so tight against the pain

I could no longer breathe.

I remember

what it felt like to

be happy.