Does Anyone Else Feel Lonesome?

Does anyone else feel lonesome?

Not lonely. Not alone. Just... lonesome. Like you don't feel connected to anyone. Like you never feel that you will find anyone that understands you, that will see you truly, let alone someone who will even like you. You see friends everywhere, but you don't see yourself in their place, like that is not for you, like you're not made for that and that's not made for you. You see people having fun and laughing and dancing and getting drunk and falling in love and you just... don't feel that for yourself. Like you're not supposed to have that, like you can't because it's not for you and you're not for it.

Like you're supposed to be seeing all these beautiful things in the world but not experience them yourself. Like you want to experience so much, experience everything, but be overwhelmed by it so you don't do any of it.

Like you want to be everywhere and do everything, but you don't belong anywhere and can't do anything. Like you're not supposed to be here. Not in a self-deprecating way but in an incongruous way. You want to live you want to be alive, but you feel you're not supposed to be. Not here at least, not like this. Just a presence in the world, not an active member of it. Even your body doesn't feel like home, your face isn't a face you recognise, like you're not supposed to have either. Like you're just supposed to be.

Like you're supposed to observe, but not experience.

I’m on a mission to be annoying af and post something every day because like I mean I wanna post stuff on my snap story but like the PRESSURE from people I know being mean and shit it’s like MMMMMMGMGURHRMG STOP so I’m yeah I’m gonna try post one thing every day so slay

btw here’s some memes I have in my camera roll DONT question me plz

Oh and some hot sauce I saw at the iga near my house

My sisters very unique

backstory here me and my younger sister who’s 22 months and 10 days younger than me- she’s very particular about this- says the weirdest crap. Here’s some things she’s said recently:

Me: we should get a cat

Mum: we can’t paige doesn’t like cats

Me: Paige doesn’t like me but you still keep me

Paige from next room: True dat I don’t like her

Paige: I mean I will turn Into a pacycephalasaurs and end you

Paige: and I mean I am gonna turn I to a peterodactly and end your bloodline. I’m gonna. I’m just gonna.

*going grocery shopping* me: paige look it’s beans

paige: Scrumdillyumyumaperper. (She doesn’t like beans)

and there’s many more. I just need to tell someone about my mentally broken sister cuz it’s hard to live with her cuz half time I can’t breathe cuz I’m laughing too hard other half cuz she’s winded me punching me or smth

Somebody reblogged my post and asked for my favourite scorbus fics so.. ASK AND I SHALL DELIVER!😁

(if the fic description is too long i might just put a little summary as to not make the post too long)

My Top Favourites:

Greater Expectations 196k

featuring hufflepuff albus and slytherin scorpius! this fic is just so special in the fandom, it’s so unique and wonderful honestly! There is no other fic that I have read where scorpius is depicted in quite this way :)

Also- if you follow me and have seen my stoner scorbus fic- this fic inspired those posts😉

Albus and scorpius are ‘very platonic’ series

Stories featuring chubby Ministry employee Albus and cheerful history student Scorpius

I love chubby albus😭 I just love their relationship here in general honestly.

My favourite series/ long fics

I Knew It All Along (series) 469k

The story of two Slytherin boys and a relationship everybody but them saw coming

a fandom classic.

The quietly series 407k

classic slowburn scorpius. Spanning from meeting each other- to getting together, to starting a family

Sun Sinks Down, no curfew 123k

Nobody really expects them to take a month-long trip around Europe to escape from their impending future. But, Albus thinks, they've never had the simplest of lives, so why would they start now? A month away from the hustle and bustle of life at home is exactly what the two of them need after their recent escapades and perhaps, Albus thinks, it'll give him time to try and work out when Scorpius started to look so pretty in his eyes.

Bloom 114k

Love is fragile. Rarely, it's fleeting.

Albus knew the feeling very well. He held his adoration for his best friend - Scorpius Hyperion Malfoy - in his hand like a small, glass structure. If he were to slip or fall, it would shatter like a firework. He held on carefully; protecting it like it were a small, injured bird. Albus' heart often felt like that - a small, unprotected entity.

He'd been foolish to believe that love was safe. It bloomed in his chest; a stupid, frilly flower that hardly hesitated to kill him from the inside out.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA- all i have to say on this fic

oh, i’m going to let the future in 41k

Al only speaks English, and he sings in the shower, badly. He likes tea, and he cleans when he’s stressed. He sees a therapist. He has a total of two friends, and one of them is his cousin. He isn’t smart; he’s simple.

He wishes that could be enough.

Escape 41k

Scorpius Malfoy liked to keep himself to himself. He was fine on his own with just his headphones and music. Until he’s paired with Albus Potter for Defence Against the Dark Arts tutoring, and Scorpius learns that being alone is nice, but having a friend is nicer.

There are plenty of ways one escapes their own mind, their own demons. There’s drugs, running, alcohol and Scorpius Malfoys personal favourite: music.

Fave Mid-Short fics 30k- less

Find My Way 32 k

ft. blind albus

Keep it on 5k

smut and bottom albus😁 (adult scorbus)

camera-clicker 14k

Albus Severus Potter has been to many weddings, though none of them have been his own. Really, it was an 'always a bridesmaid, never a bride' situation, or rather - 'always a wedding photographer, never a groom'.

But you’re here right now and I think you’ll stay- 13k

Albus and scorpius visiting the burrow during chirstmas 🤗 If you like this sort of fic- you should definitely check out every fic made by sunshinescorpius (the author of this fic)

special shoutouts:

the painful eagerness of unfed hope

Where life is a dance composed of one step forwards and three steps back, and Albus is still trying to work out how to dance without falling over his own feet. Albus is a poet, Scorpius is an aspiring archaeologist, and they learn together the beautiful way love demands to be felt.

beautifull writing, ft poet albus. (the only reason its a special shoutout is because I need to finish the last chapter)

The moments that made us 116k

So long story short, this is the story of how I, Albus Severus Potter, got with the love of my life: Scorpius Hyperion Malfoy.

Or rather, the moments that made us.

I put it at special shout out because of the first person pov and angsty 15 year old narration might not be everyone’s cup of tea- i definetly liked it a lot

Wildcard 59k

I just HAD to add this muggle football au!! Also- not everyone likes muggle au’s but i definitely thought it was a fun ride!

O come, let us adore him 42k

one of the two weirdest scorbus fics I have read- had a lot of fun tho.

unfinished fics (as of april 2023)

wake 60k 5/12 chapters

scorbus established relationship during a summer holiday in australia (i think ?)😁

The Lost Potter 30k 10/17 chapters

loving it so far- very intriguing

OK i actually have WAY more recommendations for each category but the post is becoming way too long lol i might make a part 2 if anyone asks🤗

Today I went out shopping w some friends and I bought a bag of 18 rubber ducks. I probably didn’t need 18 rubber ducks so I gave 5 to my sister and 5 to my friend. My favourite duck is a duck called Jose. He is bisexual. He has the nickname Hoese cuz he has so many hoes. I should not be allowed 6 rubber ducks

We have Jose central and then from left to right

Mercedes, precious, diamond, cassian, azriel and Lucien. Jose and his hoes