Whokilledquinn - Quinndrowned - Tumblr Blog

Deep/mid styros 🤩

I think I might start doing my nightly exercise routine again. I need to lose weight but I’m really fucking bad at it so I think imma try ease myself back into it becoz I used to restrict and work out a lot

why does my mum care so much about how I look? Short hair? ITS MY CHOICE! “Boys only” shoes? ITS MY CHOICE! heaven forbid your child turn out looking like a person with a real fucking personality- no no we can’t have that now can we. In her eyes I need to be a conforming clone that she deems socially acceptable. Let me be me. Why do you care so much about how I look? Why does it matter to you?

why won’t you listen to me?

tw: sh

ugh I rel@psed on my arm 😖. What the fuck is wrong with me. Later I’ll probably just do some styros on mah thighs or smt. I have so much homework to do but I’m procrastinating and cvtting instead

I am indeed not a hetero bean

I am not a straight people.

Reblog if you are also not a straight people.

real

me

Me when binding for fourteen hours straight results in pain

guess who literally lives in faer binder now 🤭

fae/faer/faers pronouns are so pretty🙃

my god twitter is fvcking brutal. Also-

Tw: sh

I wanna do wrists/arms so bad but I shouldn’t bc I want to get clean. Also arms are a nightmare to hide. The scars on my arms are still not fully healed but they are nearly there so that’s good. Been clean since the 19.9.24. Ik it’s not long but still. I’m so scared of my mum finding out. I don’t want her to feel bad abt it-she had nothing to do with it my brain is just a dumbass. It feels like it’s inevitable she’ll find out. I can’t wait to be an adult so I can more easily make excuses to get out of things that might show my scars/cvts.

I’m so dam fat as well. Why can’t I be skinny, where is the willpower I used to have?? I used to be able to starve for ages and not binge but now it feels like all I ever do is binge and cvt. i just don’t know. Why is everything so fvcking hopeless. I’m done with this shit. agggg I wanna sh so badly. I fvcking hate urges. STUPID URGES LEAVE ME ALONE! I WILL NOT REL@PSE!

Also I’m running out of eyelashes bc I keep pulling them out.

aaaaaaaa my binder arrived!!!!! I’m so fvcking happy!!!!!!!

tw: sh

oh shit that was deeper than expected. Well at least I’m getting further than baby styros now. I think I kinda feel more valid? ( which is stupid because all sh no matter how “bad” it is is valid)

Although I was in the school bathroom when I did it and in a stall which I quickly discovered had no toilet paper left in it. There was a lot of blood. My leg hurts

Tw: sh

uggghhhh I’m so tired of light styros. Why am I so fucking weak. I just want deep-medium styros. Enough to feel valid but not enough to give me a scare. But at the same time I wanna get better. Also I don’t want stitches.

plus I’m running out of space. Ughh fuvk guess imma have to move back to my stomach temporarily.

update: haha nvm imma just make space

agggg I hate my body

rn I feel he/they I think???

Tw: sh mentioned

removed some bl4des from a disposable r4zor. They were bendy as shit really fucking useless. I want to get some proper blades soon. Are minors allowed to buy r4zorbl4des? Like the proper ones? And where from? Or do I have have to live with pencil sharpeners. Please someone i need answers

guys I ordered a binder! I cannot wait for it to arrive. Imma have to hide it from my parents but I have experience hiding shit from them so that won’t be hard.

artrtrrhfgfgf I am so excited!!!!!!!!!!

agghh

Tw-sh mentioned

god it’s been so long since I cvt with a knife. I forgot how shit I was at it. Except that one time that scared me off using knives😅. I’m gonna stick to pencil sharpeners for now. stay safe bitches bros and enby hoes.

rn they/she feels right. It changes tho

I’m just so tired

why can’t I have the pretty kind of depression. Why do I have the, ugly, bloody, no energy to get up or shower or do basic hygiene kind of depression, the fazing in and out of reality, feeling meaningless and useless, kind of depression. Why the fuck can’t I at least be normal. Why can’t I be normal. What is so wrong with me that I can’t be a moderately happy, skinny cishet person

I hate having an iron deficiency

Got a new pencil sharpener guys. I hate myself for it but at least this’ll be cleaner than the old one. The bl@de will be cleaner-I probably won’t be

please just give me the body of a boy. I just wanna be a skinny carefree boy with NO FUCKING TITS PLEASE SOMEONE