What To Do When You've Crossed A Line?

What to do when you've crossed a line?

C.(S). Jeonghan x Reader | WC. 938 | G. Angst| Pt. 2/? |

Part 1 | Part 3

Too anxious to wait for the lift, you sprint to your 4th-floor home, fumbling the code to the door before finally getting inside, and slamming it behind you. 

All the emotions you’ve held in the entire evening, especially since you confessed to your best friend and perhaps since you even realized your feelings, begin to pour out. 

Choked sobs escape your throat and you sink to your knees. 

You didn’t want things to unfold this way if you only could have kept your jealousy at bay, one. last. time. None of this would have erupted the way it did if you kept your cool.

Picking yourself off the floor, you lug your body over to the couch falling face-first onto the cushions, resuming your personal pity party.

Eventually, your cries die down and you drift off to sleep, still in your clothes from the party, tears staining your cushions with the hues of your blush and mascara.

Each passing hour makes your heartache, the pain resonating in your entire body, exhausting you to the point where you can’t seem to do much else than sit up or lie down.

Three days pass without so much as a text much less a physical appearance from Jeonghan. Your friends, on the other hand, have been ringing non-stop a few even going so far as to visit your apartment to get you to eat and do more than just mope around in your sorrow.

On the fourth day, you’ve had enough. You wipe your tears and take a shower, hoping the water will drain away your sorrows and if not, at least just the fatigue you’ve felt the past half of the week. Making a mission to begin getting over him, he didn’t care about your feelings so why waste any more tears.

The best way to forget someone is to remove them from your life. You walk around your apartment looking for all and signs of your friendship with Jeonghan, angrily grabbing any small knick-knack and article of clothing he’s left in your apartment and chucking it into a plastic garbage bag to rid of just like he seemed to be the past four days.

With the last of one of his stupid gifts put on top of the pile in the bag, you tie a few knots and lug the bag near your door as a reminder to throw it out.

The days you spent moping around didn’t make the world stop meaning you had also missed a few lectures by the plethora of text messages from your friends and groupmates concerned at your lack of attendance. You couldn’t afford to miss any more days so after ridding your home of any reminders of your crush, you went off to get dressed and presentable to make your long-awaited appearance on campus. Praying you can mask your sadness long enough to avoid any questions about you being MIA the last few days.

You had texted your best friend Jisoo letting her know of your plans and she so kindly offered to walk with you to your shared class.

“You look…” she started, giving you a once over the minute you walked out of the building entrance. “Not a word,” you warned, not wanting to get into the nitty-gritty of why you looked as you did.

You tried to put in effort, dressing in something comfortable but also stylish. Maybe in due time your brain would conflate how you were dressed to remedy your sour mood today.

The day had mostly been without a hiccup, you pushed your feelings to the back of your mind and dived right into your studies, catching up with the missed lectures and offering apology coffee and snacks to the groupmates you left in the dark, maybe everything would be okay.

Walking to the library your friend mentions what you’ve been avoiding nearly all day.

“So you and Jeonghan…? What happened?”

You feel your stomach coil at the mention of his name. The noise and rush around you warping into slow motion.

Jeonghan Jeonghan Jeonghan. His name repeated in your head like a chant, the drumming of his name vibrating across your entire body.

Your brain couldn’t process whether you should snap at your friend for speaking his name or break down in tears over the recollection the events of several nights prior, where you effectively ruined your well-built friendship in the heat of the moment and the man of your affection didn’t even bother to reach out the past week.

Speak of the devil it seems because as you tried to find the words to explain your conundrum, he appeared.

“Y/N!”

Eyes shoot up to meet the pair that you’ve secretly been longing to see despite trying to delude yourself into thinking you couldn't care less about him.

He looked dishevelled. Hair messy, clothes crumpled, and wrinkly, and dark circles painted under his eyes. Making his way towards you, frantic and in a rush, pushing past everyone in his way. 

The face you’ve so longed to see, but couldn't bear to face. The closer his steps marched towards you, the more you panicked until your body had enough and ignited your fight or flight response. You turn and bolt, away from your friend, but more importantly away from facing your fears, one more time.

Sprinting as fast as your feet can carry you, books in hand, bag swinging viciously on your side, weaving through the crowd of people, you find yourself headed on a similar path as “that” night, your home your safe space.

How to show emotions

Part VI

How to show insecurity

not holding/breaking eye contact

fidgeting

crossing their arms

trying to cover up their body

making themself seem smaller

playing with their hands

hiding their hands in their pockets

holding their head down

blushing

clearing their throat

biting their nails

biting their lips

nervous laughter

stuttering

How to show being offended

stiffening up

hard line around the lips

frozen stare

narrowing of the eyes

turning their head to the side

quickening heartbeat

turning red

making themself bigger, ready to fight

How to show compassion

gentle and soft smile

relaxed facial features

softening of their eyes

openly showing how they feel

leaning towards the other one

nodding along, not directly interjecting, but encouraging

deep breaths inbetween

gentle touches to comfort

How to show being pleased

big smile/grinning

laying head slightly to the side

moving one shoulder up

pursing their lips while smiling

very open body language

leaning back

Part I + Part II + Part III + Part IV + Part V

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Carnivals were your favourite. The feeling of comfort and adventure at arm's length.

Haechan, like carnivals, was also your favourite, your personal carnival 365 days a year.

You could never say no to him and he to you.

Whether you were 5 or 50, one look into his beautiful brown eyes and you would give in, after all who could refuse a carnival?

The thrill of immaturity and no responsibility fueled Haechan, and you? Basked in the warmth of his happiness that surrounded you.

One day you’ll regret it, perhaps it’s today

C.(S). Han x Reader | WC. 589 | G. Angst|

Goodbyes have always come easier to you, after all, you seem to be saying them all the time.

There were very few people in your life that you felt a deep connection with, ones that weren’t related to your blood. And the most important of them all?

Han Jisung

He wasn’t just a somebody. He was your everything.

As beautiful as your life became with him, sometimes people are forced to do the cruellest things to those they love.

He was perfect, in your eyes, from the way he smiled to the way he cried. Not a single flaw you could locate.

So why did you decide to rip the heart out of the love of your life and shatter it without a bat of an eye?

Truthfully, no reason would ever be good enough or could be enough. You didn’t just make a mistake, you fucked up in every possible sense and you wouldn't see it until it was too late.

    “Why!? Why are you doing this?”

He was off the couch, kneeling in front of you. His eyes stare up at yours, begging for you to look inside them just once.

     “We can’t be together Jisung, I don’...CAN'T hold you back anymore.”

Bullshit. You internally cringed and cursed yourself for the lies that spilled out.

He stood up in disbelief, the tears drying on his face as he felt a surge of anger from your words.

   “So you’re just willing to give up on us? You think you’re holding me back?”

He was angry and hurt but more importantly, he was breaking. Your fight was nearing the end and you knew a few more blows would be enough for him to hate and resent you for life.

Standing up, you turn your head to meet his eyes. Eyes filled with so many questions and pain that you have to remind yourself of your true intentions.

    “Goodbye Han Jisung I wish you the best.”

Using his full name? How could you already be so cold?

Wish him the best? How could the person he could give his life for say goodbye to him as if they were strangers?

You start to walk away but his arm quickly reaches out to grab your elbow.

    “You can’t break my heart like this!”

His voice cracks and his anger melts away, now only his initial desperation and heartbreak remain.

You don't look into his eyes this time, looking straight ahead towards the door.

     “It's over Jisung, let me go," you breathe out. Utterly defeated yourself.

There was no use stopping you. Realization hit him, you had already made up your mind so who was he to stop you now?

You feel his release on your elbow, allowing you to proceed with your steps to the door.

Walking towards the door, you pick up the bag you had previously situated near the entrance, the catalyst to the end.

As you open the door to walk out, you start to turn and look at him one last time, but stop yourself.

With your back turned, you whisper a small “I love you” and continue out. 

You never imagined this day would come, but it had and you had made your bed so now you would be the one to lie in it.

Goodbyes were always easy for you, but this one had left you hollow, something that could quite never be filled. Not that you deserved that courtesy after tearing apart the man you kept awake countless nights with your false promises. 

𓏸𓂃boyfriend things╰𓏸 up close love

◞✧𓏯 ⸝⸝⸝ in that yearning state 💌 for my fellow nct, bts, svt enthusiasts ⊹◞✿

♡knocks on your car window, waving subtly for you to roll it down so he can get one more kiss

♡unloading the dishwasher and wiping down all the countertops before you’re home from work

♡knowing you’re upset and drawing back the covers to join you beneath them without a word. will hold you for as long as you need, and he’s come to realize that the way your crying heightens means you’re thankful… relieved

♡takes your hand between the two of his while you wait outside the restaurant for your reservation. you take it upon yourself to place your lonely hand in his pocket. a chilly night

♡sends pictures of all the food in the grocery cart on mornings you can’t join him, wanting to make sure he chose the right brands bc they taste different. he’s done it enough times to know, but double checks anyway

♡comes over to give you that sweatshirt of his you love before leaving: enough time will pass for the seasons to change, but you chase him to the front door, craving his up close love for as long as you can have it

♡writes your favorite lyrics in his handwriting for your new tattoo

♡you sleep with your hair in braids, and he always finishes the last one when you’re falling asleep. he finds it adorable: the way you hold out the hair tie with your head bobbing up, down and all around, trying to stay awake

♡the way he taps your knee as a silent question for you to stand up and then guiding you onto his lap. doesn’t matter who’s around. your friends. your mother. the person beside you on the subway. and you always coax his hands around your waist as if he wouldn’t find them there on his own

you know what’s sexy and cool? reblogging

i used to be too shy to interact w fanfic authors, but after i finally started to do so, that i realised they're the same @ me