I Have A Feeling That Beneath The Little Halo On Your Noble HeadThere Lies A Thought Or Two The Devil

I have a feeling that beneath the little halo on your noble head There lies a thought or two the devil might be interested to know You're like the finish of a novel that I'll finally have to take to bed You fascinate me so

You Fascinate Me So, Blossom Dearie

I had an attack of absolutely cursed inspiration and ended up cheating on my current multi-chapter WIP to write a dream sequence crackfic that is: 1) as close as I will ever get to porn without plot and 2) possibly THE MOST DERANGED THING I HAVE EVER WRITTEN

New FFXIV fic: I had a crazy dream about a Scion sex party

Length: 2.8K words, wall-to-wall smut Alisaie/G'raha/WoL, Aymeric/Estinien, Urianger/Thancred, many others with enthusiastic consent (and no incest)

Excerpt below the cut

I was standing outside the Rising Stones, holding a party invitation I didn't remember getting. After a moment's hesitation, I walked in through the public bar and into the Scion's private back rooms, only to freeze in the doorway.

There were naked Scions fucking on nearly every available surface. G'raha was bent over a table at the center of it with Thancred balls-deep inside him while Urianger worked Thancred's ass open with his fingers.

What in the hells was going on?

And when had I taken off my clothes?

"You made it!" I heard Tataru's voice before I saw her bustling over - somehow she was fully clothed while no one else was. "It's about time you showed up. I was afraid I was going to have to refund people's tickets."

"Tickets?" I asked dumbly.

Tataru ignored me as she turned toward a line of people standing behind a velvet rope. "Number one!"

A hot viera twink walked forward, handed his ticket to Tataru, and went to his knees in front of me, staring at my slowly stiffening cock as if it was an object of worship before taking me in hand and starting to stroke me.

"Whoa!" I spluttered. "What's going on? I don't know you!"

The worshipful twink ignored my protests.

"He's not a Scion," I protested, looking over at Tataru.

"It's a fundraiser," Tataru said with a shrug as she showed me the ticket the viera had handed her. It read 'Touch the Warrior of Light's Dick'. "Be a good sport," Tataru added, giving me a pleading look.

I looked over at the long line of people presumably waiting for their turn to touch me. Sighed. And allowed Twink Number One to continue stroking me for another half a minute. "All right, that's enough."

He nodded and left, looking starstruck.

Read the whole thing on AO3

Me: Hey internet, how long should I wait before following up with an agent about their request for a full manuscript? The Internet: minimum 3 months Me:

Someone caught G'raha at it again

pentiment

In retrospect I shouldn't have been surprised that this content would do well here

Sweater vest attempt number two is going well