Crack Fic - Tumblr Posts
The Crab Cult || Chapter 11
Summary: a new year of university has begun, but the crab cult remains the same as it's always been.
Pairing: archmajor!Jimin x archmajor!reader
Genre: university au, smau, crack
Word Count: 2.1k
Warnings: none
Taglist: @parapiop7 @honeybear-taetae @pastelpeachess
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Jimin’s shoes thudded against the hard concrete beneath him as he jogged towards Fifth Street, the sound echoing throughout the empty campus in the darkness of the night. There was a slight sinking feeling in his chest as he got further and further away from his calculus building, the one he knew was currently filled to the brim with students taking the first out of the three block exams of the year.
He should have been there too, stressing over partial derivatives and linear approximation. But he wasn’t.
Instead, he was running towards you.
Jimin came to a halt before the infamous Fifth Street, his gaze scanning the area before it finally dropped on your form. You were sitting on one of the benches, scrolling mindlessly through your phone while your shoe bounced against the ground restlessly. He had to stand there for a moment, hidden behind a particularly large building, as he caught his breath. You couldn’t know that he’d practically run across campus to get here, because then you’d think he liked you.
And he didn’t. He had tried to explain to Hoseok a hundred times that his feelings weren’t serious. Yes, he’d had a crush on you from the second Jungkook had introduced you as his best friend to the group in first year- Jimin was pretty sure everyone did at that time. Who could blame them? You were gorgeous, the kind of gorgeous that turned heads and made people stumble over their words.
Eventually though, as the friendships started to strengthen, the guys got over their crushes and the group fell into a very platonic harmony. You made fun of them, they made fun of you; all was right with the world.
Your and Jimin’s relationship has always been a bit different from the others though, and that had a lot to do with the fact that you both were in the same architectural engineering program. Since that meant you had to take most classes together, and because both you and Jimin seemed very set on being the best of your class, your relationship had turned more into a rivalry.
Jimin blames that rivalry for how much longer it was taking him to get over his crush compared to the others. Although he would never admit it out loud, he loved the teasing and bantering you both seemed to participate in so often. It was different than when he did it with the others; there was just something so enamoring about watching you roll your eyes at him, the edges of your lips twitching to suppress a smile while Jimin teased you over a 1% difference in grades.
And then there were those moments when the two of you were alone, like the time at Hoseok’s party or the time you both went out for ramen and ice cream, when you both are too tired to keep up the rivalry and the walls start to come down. Those moments, to Jimin at least, are dangerous, because that’s when you both start to talk, really talk, about responsibilities and insecurities and anything else that he’d usually prefer to keep to himself.
“Jimin?”
His once straying gaze raised suddenly to find you pushing yourself off the wooden bench. You jogged over to him while pocketing your cell phone, brows furrowed to form a questioning look.
“What are you doing here?” You asked.
He also couldn’t tell you that he was here because the thought of you walking through Fifth Street by yourself put his mind into an excessively alarming state, especially knowing its unique reputation, so instead he stretched his arms overhead, trying to seem as casual as possible.
“I saw your post on Twitter and remembered that I had to get some snacks for my dorm,” he shrugged, his gaze subconsciously scanning the area. It was mostly empty, nothing but the streetlamps making an effort to liven up the place.
Your head tilted at the response, “but… I thought you had a calc exam tonight?”
When you had gotten the text from Jimin that he was going to come with you, that had been the first thought to pop into your head. You’d taken that calculus class last semester with the same professor, and if you had learned anything about her in those months, it was that her late policies were non-existent and you doubted even the president could change her mind to be even a bit more lenient.
“No, that’s tomorrow night,” he lied. He didn’t want you to feel bad about him missing the exam. In the end, it was his decision to ditch it, a decision that he would probably chastise himself for tomorrow, but for now he chose not to dwell on it.
“Oh, okay then,” you said, a smile passing over your features before Jimin began to lead the two of you towards the only convenience store on this side of campus.
You both walked in silence for a few moments, Jimin’s bare arm brushing against yours once in a while. He looked really good tonight, too good if you were being honest, with his black short sleeve t-shirt, baseball cap, and track pants. The light from the streetlamps were casting a soft glow on his skin, it was reminding you of that night at Hoseok’s party. Except this time you and Jimin were far from drunk.
“So, how do you think Jin and Namjoon are at the moment?” He asked mindlessly, his steps in sync with your own as he pocketed his hands.
The question made you giggle, “I bet they’re having a blast without us. Jin has always liked Namjoon the most anyway.”
“So rude of him to choose that nerd over us. What does he have that we don’t?” He joked.
“Well, I’m hot, smart, funny and amazing company, so I can’t say anything about myself.”
“Humble too.”
“Yes exactly,” you said, fully aware of the delusions escaping your lips at the moment, “you on the other hand I can give a few reasons.”
You could tell Jimin was trying hard not to laugh at you as he raised an eyebrow, daring you to continue.
“You’re not that smart, definitely not as smart as me, and you may be attractive, but you’re nowhere near as funny as-”
“Oh?” Jimin suddenly interrupted your senseless rambling, “you think I’m attractive?”
You turned in his direction to shoot back a retort, something along the lines of “to an ogre maybe” because god forbid you compliment Park Jimin in any way, but the sight of him seemed to suddenly catch you off guard. The two of you had moved to the part of the street that was away from the streetlamps, bathing Jimin in nothing but the moon’s light. He looked almost ethereal as pale blue washed over his skin, emphasising the pink of his lips. You felt like a fish caught in the hook of a fishing rod, unable to look away from the image before you.
You were only able to rip your gaze away from him when you both found yourselves standing in front of the convenience store, its lights casting a suddenly harsh artificial luminescence against your skins. Jimin cleared his throat, while you shuffled awkwardly in place.
You mumbled a small thanks to him when he held the door open for you, letting you pass before he followed behind. It was empty except for one student who was sitting at the cashier, too focused on reading the textbook before him to even give the both of you a glance.
You went straight to the back of the store, plucking some ramen and fruit gummies off the shelves expertly while eyeing the fridge of drinks. But your gaze caught Jimin’s form, who you didn’t realise was standing behind you like a shadow, hands empty of anything.
“I thought you were going to get snacks?” You asked, raising a brow in his direction. You watched him survey the shelves momentarily before his eyes landed back on you.
“Actually, I’m not in the mood for snacks anymore.”
Jungkook hadn’t been joking when he said that Jimin had gone broke from the night of ramen and ice cream you both had indulged in. He didn’t blame you or anything, technically speaking he didn’t have to pay for you and he knew you wouldn’t have minded paying for yourself at all, but Jimin loved spoiling others and spoiling you just seemed to make him extra happy for some reason. Besides, his scholarship money was coming in a few days, so he just had to survive till then.
You narrowed your eyes at him, choosing instead to turn around and grab a few more packets of ramen and fruit gummies, and then a tub of cheese balls, before making your way to the cashier.
“Y/N…” Jimin chastised with a frown, watching the student quickly scan your stuff, clearly eager to get back to his studying, “since when do you like cheese balls?”
You shrugged, tapping your card on the machine just as quickly as the student before Jimin could catch onto you, “I don’t, still don’t understand how you like them either, but who am I to judge? I’m about to eat ramen and fruit gummies together.”
You took the bags from the student, thanking him as you both made your way out of the store. As you both began walking away, you pushed one of the bags in Jimin’s direction, ignoring his protests.
“Hey, you paid for the ramen and ice cream last time, this is the least I could do,” you said, pushing the bag onto him so much that Jimin had no choice but to take it from you with a frown. You laughed at his hesitant expression, “but this doesn’t mean you’re off the hook for stealing those $2 from me.”
Jimin joined in on your laughter, “stealing? You’re the one who sent it to me.”
“It was an accident you thief,” you shot back with a grin, “I get that you're jealous of my spectacular grades, but stealing money from me is a bit low even for you.”
“Your grades? Didn’t you get 3% less than me in the last physics test?”
You sent a light punch to his arm, which only seemed to amuse him even more.
“Just wait for the next one, I’ll demolish you, Park Jimin.”
“Ohh I’m so scared.”
You went for his arm again, but this time his hand wrapped around your wrist, stopping it in its tracks. Jimin had only meant it playfully, but as your hand fell, his fingers brushed against yours, dangerously similar to when people hold hands. He let go of your wrist immediately, the odd feeling from earlier returning.
It was your turn to clear your throat this time, although breaking free from the moment made you realise that you had arrived at your residence. You hadn’t even realised Jimin had been guiding you both here the entire time.
“Well… that’s my dorm…” you announced unnecessarily, the building in question standing a few metres away from you both.
Jimin turned to face you, “yeah, I should get going then.”
A silence followed his words, one you couldn’t quite decipher. You got the feeling he was expecting something more, or maybe you were just projecting your own feelings onto the moment. It came as a surprise to you that you felt that way. That perhaps… deep down… you wanted Jimin to ask whether he could stay.
But that wasn’t possible, so when he said, “goodnight Y/N” in a voice that was oddly similar to a whisper, almost as if not to break the peace of the silent midnight atmosphere, you weren’t surprised.
You had barely remembered to reply back before Jimin began to walk past you, shoulder just barely ghosting over your own as you listened to his retreating steps. You began to take your own steps towards your dorms, but you only managed about a metre before you turned around suddenly, not able to hold yourself back. You could both continue your rivalry tomorrow.
“Thank you.”
Because even though Jimin had claimed that he had joined you for the sake of snacks, a small part of you seemed to have a deeper understanding of his actions.
Jimin, who had turned around to meet your gaze, gave you a small smile, and you couldn’t help but think it was one of the most genuine ones you’d ever witnessed. His voice was the same as it was when he had wished you goodnight as he replied.
“Don’t mention it.”
The Pleasures of The Unknown | Kate Middleton x The Unknown (Glasgow Wonka Experience 2024)
masterlist | ao3 | follow @youwouldntdownloadapizza and turn on notifications for updates
When Kate Middleton mistakenly ends up at a magical chocolate factory in Glasgow, she finds herself drawn to a mysterious cloaked figure with a penchant for dark chocolate.
pairing: Kate Middleton x The Unknown (Glasgow Wonka 2024)
rating: 18+, minors DNI
word count: 1.2k
tags: crack, crack treated seriously, crack fic, smut, mild smut, finger sucking, chocolate, sex and chocolate, light BDSM, choking, thigh riding, rpf, bald harry styles, balddry, infidelity, glasgow, willy wonka experience - freeform, glasgow willy wonka - freeform, Balmoral, british royal family, unhinged innuendo
chapter warnings: smut, infidelity
Kate Middleton stared at her bangs in the Buckingham Palace bathroom mirror.
"I can't go out like this," she complained to William. "The Sun will rip me a new one!"
"Kate, my dear," he kissed her on the cheek, turning to lean against the counter. She continued tugging at her botched fringe until he took her hand. "It's just hair. It'll grow back."
"That's rich, coming from you."
William looked down at his royal bunny slippers with a frown. Even they had more hair than he did. Perhaps he should have them fashioned into a wig. He'd have to ask his frenemy, Harry Styles, for wigmaker recommendations.
"I don't know what to do." Kate looked up at her husband with tears in her eyes. He wiped them away with his royal hanky.
"I do," he smiled. Sliding his hand into his back pocket, he produced the royal AmEx.
"Take a holiday, Kate. Go to Balmoral or Hollyrood for a few weeks. Grow them out. Maybe even get that BBL you've been talking about getting. Scotland is a great place to recover from surgery. What with all the free healthcare and all, innit?" he said Britishly.
"You're so right, William. I'll leave first thing tomorrow."
---
Kate double-checked the address her husband had given her as she stepped out of her royal Uber Black.
"This can't be the right place. Balmoral was never this colorful!"
The cabbie rolled down his window. "Don't worry, ma'am, this is Willy's place! Be quick and get inside, it's looking like rain."
With a soft 'innit', the driver pulled away, and Kate was left on Willy's doorstep.
She assumed 'Willy' was short for her husband 'William', but as she entered the foyer, she began to have her doubts. The place appeared to be some sort of magical chocolate factory.
Although sparsely decorated, the place maintained some air of whimsy. Well, less of an air, more of a spritz, but clamato, clamato.
"Soo la voo," Kate shrugged, walking beneath the sparkly, styrofoam rainbow and towards whatever fate awaited her here.
"Ahh, more guests! Welcome!" A depressed-looking woman in a green wig approached her.
"Here, compliments of Willy," she said, sliding a plastic cup containing a splash of what appeared to be sparkling lemonade into Kate's left hand. Into her right went a single jelly bean.
"What is this?" Kate asked.
"Our welcome gift to you! And only $40, such a deal."
Kate supposed $40 was a fair price for such splendor. After all, if bananas were $10, this was surely worth four times that. She popped the jelly bean and washed it down with the lemonade.
"Carry on down the hallway. Your future awaits."
Kate left her luggage and her empty cup with the so-called Oompa Loompa and proceeded down the bare linoleum hallway. That uncanny-valley candy landscape tapestry really ties the place together, she mused.
A voice greeted her at the end of the hall.
"What. Is. That?" A blonde man in a red top hat and coattails pointed towards an unassuming mirror.
Why, that's me! Kate Middleton! Kate Middleton thought to herself.
Kate nearly leaped out of her skin when the creature emerged from behind the looking glass.
"It's...THE UNKNOWN!!"
That's when Kate fainted.
When she awoke, her head was spinning. "Where am I?" She asked to the blackness that surrounded her.
A deep voice answered her. "You're in the walls. This is my home. My own dark chocolate factory."
"Your what?" Kate asked.
As her eyes adjusted, she realized she was in a small bedroom combined with a confectionary workspace, almost a studio apartment of sorts.
"My dark chocolate factory. You see, Willy Wonka seeks only to pump this world full of river-churned, high-fructose, milky delicious bullshit. What I aim to create is something far more sophisticated. Far more complex. And far, far darker."
"Oh? Might I try some?"
"Why of course," the silver-masked, black-hooded creature pulled back its sleeve to reveal long, nimble fingers.
He crossed to his chocolate worktable and dipped his index and middle fingers into a whirring chocolate fountain. The creature stalked towards her, extending the sample.
Kate leaned towards him, but froze. "Before I suck on your fingers, I should probably know your name."
The creature angled his head, as if considering her. "I have no name. I am only...The Unknown."
Kate's heart raced in her chest. That chocolate, those fingers, it all looked simply divine. And if William could be unfaithful, why couldn't she do the same? She deserved it, just this once. As a treat.
She opened her mouth, and The Unknown slid his fingers past her lips. She sucked deeply, the flavor sliding across her tongue and down her throat, the complex flavor and intensity of the delivery method sending shivers down her spine.
"Are you cold?" He asked.
"A bit," Kate admitted.
"Well then," she could hear the smirk in his voice even if she couldn't see it on his face. "Perhaps I'll have to warm you up myself."
Kate bit her lip. "Would you...put your willy? In my chocolate factory?"
His fingers closed around her throat. She drew a sharp breath.
She could feel his breath as he whispered in her ear, "Forget willies. Forget chocolate factories. Allow yourself to submit, to embrace the pleasures of The Unknown."
Kate let out a shuddering breath as she gazed up at that shiny mask. She didn't know what lurked behind it. She didn't care.
She kissed him then, the plastic of his mask hard against her soft lips. And then she was sprawled on the bed, his knee between her legs, and she was grinding against him.
"Oh, The Unknown!" She moaned.
"Please, there's no need for formality. Call me The."
So Kate did. She sounded like the gilded first word of a sponge's term paper as she wailed his name over and over again, into the dark stillness of this secret room behind the walls.
"I'm close," Kate moaned.
"Good girl."
He leaned down to kiss at her neck. The rough edges of the cheap mask scratched at her sensitive skin, but she didn't care. She was lost in the pleasures of The Unknown.
It was the hair that brought her to the edge, something her husband could never give her. The chemical scent of his cheap, black wig filled her nostrils as she rode his thigh, dangling there on the precipice.
"Ohh!" Kate screamed as she came, her thighs shaking with pleasure as she clenched around nothing.
A low, satisfied chuckle rumbled at her throat, and she swooned. After all these years of marriage, William had never rocked her world like this masked stranger just had. As they lay there together, she slipped into the chocolatey darkness of slumber, utterly content.
---
When Kate returned home, butt bigger and bangs longer, William had wanted to hear about her experience in Scotland.
"What was your favorite part?" He asked.
"I learned a lot about myself on this trip," she told him. "But the most valuable lesson was in learning to embrace the pleasures of the unknown."
"See, a little uncertainty is good sometimes!" He teased, tugging on her much-improved bangs before giving her a soft kiss.
"Mm," he smacked his lips. "Tastes like chocolate."
I'm so sorry! Please enjoy!
The Pleasures of The Unknown | Kate Middleton x The Unknown (Glasgow Wonka Experience 2024)
masterlist | ao3 | follow @youwouldntdownloadapizza and turn on notifications for updates
When Kate Middleton mistakenly ends up at a magical chocolate factory in Glasgow, she finds herself drawn to a mysterious cloaked figure with a penchant for dark chocolate.
pairing: Kate Middleton x The Unknown (Glasgow Wonka 2024)
rating: 18+, minors DNI
word count: 1.2k
tags: crack, crack treated seriously, crack fic, smut, mild smut, finger sucking, chocolate, sex and chocolate, light BDSM, choking, thigh riding, rpf, bald harry styles, balddry, infidelity, glasgow, willy wonka experience - freeform, glasgow willy wonka - freeform, Balmoral, british royal family, unhinged innuendo
chapter warnings: smut, infidelity
Kate Middleton stared at her bangs in the Buckingham Palace bathroom mirror.
"I can't go out like this," she complained to William. "The Sun will rip me a new one!"
"Kate, my dear," he kissed her on the cheek, turning to lean against the counter. She continued tugging at her botched fringe until he took her hand. "It's just hair. It'll grow back."
"That's rich, coming from you."
William looked down at his royal bunny slippers with a frown. Even they had more hair than he did. Perhaps he should have them fashioned into a wig. He'd have to ask his frenemy, Harry Styles, for wigmaker recommendations.
"I don't know what to do." Kate looked up at her husband with tears in her eyes. He wiped them away with his royal hanky.
"I do," he smiled. Sliding his hand into his back pocket, he produced the royal AmEx.
"Take a holiday, Kate. Go to Balmoral or Hollyrood for a few weeks. Grow them out. Maybe even get that BBL you've been talking about getting. Scotland is a great place to recover from surgery. What with all the free healthcare and all, innit?" he said Britishly.
"You're so right, William. I'll leave first thing tomorrow."
---
Kate double-checked the address her husband had given her as she stepped out of her royal Uber Black.
"This can't be the right place. Balmoral was never this colorful!"
The cabbie rolled down his window. "Don't worry, ma'am, this is Willy's place! Be quick and get inside, it's looking like rain."
With a soft 'innit', the driver pulled away, and Kate was left on Willy's doorstep.
She assumed 'Willy' was short for her husband 'William', but as she entered the foyer, she began to have her doubts. The place appeared to be some sort of magical chocolate factory.
Although sparsely decorated, the place maintained some air of whimsy. Well, less of an air, more of a spritz, but clamato, clamato.
"Soo la voo," Kate shrugged, walking beneath the sparkly, styrofoam rainbow and towards whatever fate awaited her here.
"Ahh, more guests! Welcome!" A depressed-looking woman in a green wig approached her.
"Here, compliments of Willy," she said, sliding a plastic cup containing a splash of what appeared to be sparkling lemonade into Kate's left hand. Into her right went a single jelly bean.
"What is this?" Kate asked.
"Our welcome gift to you! And only $40, such a deal."
Kate supposed $40 was a fair price for such splendor. After all, if bananas were $10, this was surely worth four times that. She popped the jelly bean and washed it down with the lemonade.
"Carry on down the hallway. Your future awaits."
Kate left her luggage and her empty cup with the so-called Oompa Loompa and proceeded down the bare linoleum hallway. That uncanny-valley candy landscape tapestry really ties the place together, she mused.
A voice greeted her at the end of the hall.
"What. Is. That?" A blonde man in a red top hat and coattails pointed towards an unassuming mirror.
Why, that's me! Kate Middleton! Kate Middleton thought to herself.
Kate nearly leaped out of her skin when the creature emerged from behind the looking glass.
"It's...THE UNKNOWN!!"
That's when Kate fainted.
When she awoke, her head was spinning. "Where am I?" She asked to the blackness that surrounded her.
A deep voice answered her. "You're in the walls. This is my home. My own dark chocolate factory."
"Your what?" Kate asked.
As her eyes adjusted, she realized she was in a small bedroom combined with a confectionary workspace, almost a studio apartment of sorts.
"My dark chocolate factory. You see, Willy Wonka seeks only to pump this world full of river-churned, high-fructose, milky delicious bullshit. What I aim to create is something far more sophisticated. Far more complex. And far, far darker."
"Oh? Might I try some?"
"Why of course," the silver-masked, black-hooded creature pulled back its sleeve to reveal long, nimble fingers.
He crossed to his chocolate worktable and dipped his index and middle fingers into a whirring chocolate fountain. The creature stalked towards her, extending the sample.
Kate leaned towards him, but froze. "Before I suck on your fingers, I should probably know your name."
The creature angled his head, as if considering her. "I have no name. I am only...The Unknown."
Kate's heart raced in her chest. That chocolate, those fingers, it all looked simply divine. And if William could be unfaithful, why couldn't she do the same? She deserved it, just this once. As a treat.
She opened her mouth, and The Unknown slid his fingers past her lips. She sucked deeply, the flavor sliding across her tongue and down her throat, the complex flavor and intensity of the delivery method sending shivers down her spine.
"Are you cold?" He asked.
"A bit," Kate admitted.
"Well then," she could hear the smirk in his voice even if she couldn't see it on his face. "Perhaps I'll have to warm you up myself."
Kate bit her lip. "Would you...put your willy? In my chocolate factory?"
His fingers closed around her throat. She drew a sharp breath.
She could feel his breath as he whispered in her ear, "Forget willies. Forget chocolate factories. Allow yourself to submit, to embrace the pleasures of The Unknown."
Kate let out a shuddering breath as she gazed up at that shiny mask. She didn't know what lurked behind it. She didn't care.
She kissed him then, the plastic of his mask hard against her soft lips. And then she was sprawled on the bed, his knee between her legs, and she was grinding against him.
"Oh, The Unknown!" She moaned.
"Please, there's no need for formality. Call me The."
So Kate did. She sounded like the gilded first word of a sponge's term paper as she wailed his name over and over again, into the dark stillness of this secret room behind the walls.
"I'm close," Kate moaned.
"Good girl."
He leaned down to kiss at her neck. The rough edges of the cheap mask scratched at her sensitive skin, but she didn't care. She was lost in the pleasures of The Unknown.
It was the hair that brought her to the edge, something her husband could never give her. The chemical scent of his cheap, black wig filled her nostrils as she rode his thigh, dangling there on the precipice.
"Ohh!" Kate screamed as she came, her thighs shaking with pleasure as she clenched around nothing.
A low, satisfied chuckle rumbled at her throat, and she swooned. After all these years of marriage, William had never rocked her world like this masked stranger just had. As they lay there together, she slipped into the chocolatey darkness of slumber, utterly content.
---
When Kate returned home, butt bigger and bangs longer, William had wanted to hear about her experience in Scotland.
"What was your favorite part?" He asked.
"I learned a lot about myself on this trip," she told him. "But the most valuable lesson was in learning to embrace the pleasures of the unknown."
"See, a little uncertainty is good sometimes!" He teased, tugging on her much-improved bangs before giving her a soft kiss.
"Mm," he smacked his lips. "Tastes like chocolate."
God works fast but fanfic writers work faster
Fanfic Masterlist
Serious Fics
The Gates of Jackson (AO3 Link)
Incomplete | 10.2k | 8/? Chapters | Currently Mild Smut, Will Get Smuttier
Joel Miller x Female Reader
You showed up at the gates of Jackson with hands covered in blood and no memory of how you got there. That was two years ago. Since then, you've become Maria's right-hand woman and the person in charge of Jackson's logistical backend. Patrol schedules, inventory--all your purview. When a patrol gone wrong forces you to get to know Joel, memories of your past begin resurfacing--along with their consequences.
Crack Fics
The Pleasures of the Unknown (AO3 Link)
Complete | 1.2k | 1/1 Chapters | Very Mild Smut
Kate Middleton x The Unknown (Glasgow Willy Wonka 2024)
When Kate Middleton mistakenly ends up at a magical chocolate factory in Glasgow, she finds herself drawn to a mysterious cloaked figure with a penchant for dark chocolate.
Can I just turn this into some sort of crack fic 💀💀💀
An AU Where…
There are 29 Adrien Agrestes. They don’t know about each other but everyone else does
I found something Big... (Pt. 2)
BTS text crackfic
Warnings
The same as the part 1 😪
Do not repost.
Prt 1 :
Prt 3 :
I found something Big... (Pt. 3)
BTS text crackfic
Warnings :
Same as the first and second😴
Do not repost bitch
Prt 1 :
Prt 2 :
THIS IS THE TIME POLICE!
Summary: Do you have a permit for that time machine?
(A crack Scarlet and Violet submas reunion)
Rating Riza’s Wedding
I don’t really believe that Riza and Roy would ever marry (sob), but I’m not here to discuss that. I must be a romantic at heart, because this is my second Royai wedding fic in a row.
Has anyone watched the TV show Four Weddings? It’s a program on TLC (The Learning Channel- where you mostly learn about hoarders or people with double digit numbers of children.) On Four Weddings, one of the less messy and less noisy shows, four women, who have just met, attend each others’ weddings and rate them. The couple with the highest rated wedding wins a honeymoon. Imagine that Riza and Roy decide to compete. Obviously, this is totally a crack fic.
Slightly foul language is within.
Roy and Riza are the last of the four couples to be wed, so she is Bride Number Four. I couldn’t (was too lazy to?) come up with a good way to give this a plot, so it’s just Roy’s and Riza’s and the other brides’ comments on the wedding.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Bride Number One: I’m giving Riza’s wedding a six out of ten. The wedding really showed how much she and the groom love each other, but she really didn’t have a theme, and her decorations were just so-so. What I really didn’t like was that her dress made her seem older. She’s a beautiful girl- for her age- but her dress was so simple, and it covered too much. I would have liked to see her in something more modern and revealing. Something tight like a mermaid dress. And, what was that with such a high back? She looks like she’s in good shape. She should show some sex appeal.
Bride Number Two: I have to give Riza a three out of ten, because I was just scared shitless the entire time. First, a huge glowering Ishvalan man with a scar on his face was seated right behind me. Right across the aisle was a nearly bald even HUGER man who was crying. Then, the officiant, who was listed as Riza’s grandfather, wore a dress. At one point, a window accidentally slammed shut, and Riza pulled two guns out of her dress, and her groom pulled gloves out of his pockets and donned them. They swiftly turned so that they were back to back and surveyed the room. Meanwhile, four of their friends jumped up, also with guns drawn, and checked all of the windows and doors. Riza’s grandfather (?) just laughed. So did a young man with a blond braid. His even blonder date hit him with a wrench, so I got the idea that it might have been a prank of his. I just really wanted to get out of there. If I’d had a ride, I’d have skipped out on the reception.
Bride Number Three: Riza’s wedding was a hard ten! That wedding was as wild af. The ceremony was nuts.There was even a dog in the procession. But the reception… it was the best party I’ve ever been to. I loved it when the groom reached for the bride’s garter but kept pulling out guns and knives as the crowd cheered. She must have had a cache under that skirt. I didn’t get it at first. Was she trying to warn her groom away? Then, the dark-haired woman who was Riza’s attendant yelled, “So you’re travelling light today, Riz?” I wondered why she didn’t shoot the bouquet down after she tossed it! Apparently, Riza always carries several weapons for some reason. I know she was in the Army. She didn’t seem paranoid when we were hanging out at the other weddings. Someone said that she’s very protective of her groom.
And speaking of the groom, I wondered why he pulled gloves on during the ceremony. With Riza being so tough, I wondered if he was a shrinking violet. NOPE! The reception hall had very low lighting when we came in. The happy couple entered. After kissing Riza, he gloved up and snapped his fingers. With that snap, he lit all of the candles on all of the tables. Best of all,
He came around to make sure all of our platters were hot, and he warmed them up if needed. That guy is a hottie in more than one way.
I’m sorry. I’ve talked way too much. I hope I can get an uncut recording of those heckin’ nuptials.
Roy: I think we deserve to win, but I’m just relieved that she finally married me. I had a great time. Riza was so beautiful. Almost everything was perfect. I just knew that the window had something to do with Full… Edward. Riza said that I couldn’t flambe him on our wedding day, so I just had the servers keep bringing him glasses of milk.
Riza: It went surprisingly well, given the groom and the audience. I’d trained the participants as well as I could, but they’re all loose cannons. At least I’m finally married to this idiot. Why did I do that?
I had an attack of absolutely cursed inspiration and ended up cheating on my current multi-chapter WIP to write a dream sequence crackfic that is: 1) as close as I will ever get to porn without plot and 2) possibly THE MOST DERANGED THING I HAVE EVER WRITTEN
New FFXIV fic: I had a crazy dream about a Scion sex party
Length: 2.8K words, wall-to-wall smut Alisaie/G'raha/WoL, Aymeric/Estinien, Urianger/Thancred, many others with enthusiastic consent (and no incest)
Excerpt below the cut
I was standing outside the Rising Stones, holding a party invitation I didn't remember getting. After a moment's hesitation, I walked in through the public bar and into the Scion's private back rooms, only to freeze in the doorway.
There were naked Scions fucking on nearly every available surface. G'raha was bent over a table at the center of it with Thancred balls-deep inside him while Urianger worked Thancred's ass open with his fingers.
What in the hells was going on?
And when had I taken off my clothes?
"You made it!" I heard Tataru's voice before I saw her bustling over - somehow she was fully clothed while no one else was. "It's about time you showed up. I was afraid I was going to have to refund people's tickets."
"Tickets?" I asked dumbly.
Tataru ignored me as she turned toward a line of people standing behind a velvet rope. "Number one!"
A hot viera twink walked forward, handed his ticket to Tataru, and went to his knees in front of me, staring at my slowly stiffening cock as if it was an object of worship before taking me in hand and starting to stroke me.
"Whoa!" I spluttered. "What's going on? I don't know you!"
The worshipful twink ignored my protests.
"He's not a Scion," I protested, looking over at Tataru.
"It's a fundraiser," Tataru said with a shrug as she showed me the ticket the viera had handed her. It read 'Touch the Warrior of Light's Dick'. "Be a good sport," Tataru added, giving me a pleading look.
I looked over at the long line of people presumably waiting for their turn to touch me. Sighed. And allowed Twink Number One to continue stroking me for another half a minute. "All right, that's enough."
He nodded and left, looking starstruck.
Read the whole thing on AO3
Someone caught G'raha at it again
pentiment
(not jonelias this is a silly fic)
“So… about that Jonah Magnus guy, right? What do you think about him?”
Jon sat across from Elias. He was used to his cryptic questions at this point, and assumed this was some sort of test on the history of the place. He shifted in his seat. “Well, I suppose I have read a few statements addressing him, but I can’t quite say much besides an unhealthy desire for knowledge and signs of dealing with things he didn’t understand.”
Elias’s smile faltered a little bit, for what reason Jon didn’t know. “That’s not quite what I meant… how would I put this…” He stared down Jon, figuring out how to word it. “Do you think he is… intelligent? Perhaps even charming?”
Jon’s face scrunched up in confusion. What was he talking about? Why in God’s name would Elias want to know his personal feelings on a historical figure?
“Reading the statements, what did you think about him? Did you think he seemed like a really cool guy, maybe like a guy who got laid a lot, at least for that era?” Elias seemed desperate to know the answer.
Jon was overwhelmingly confused. He knew his boss was a little mysterious and vague about things but this seemed something different entirely. Why does he want to know this? “I… uh…” he murmured. “I um… don’t know…”
A flash of anger shot across Elias’s face and Jon had wondered what he did wrong. Then he saw his employer take a deep breath as if trying to calm himself down. He reached down under his desk and pulled out a picture frame of a painting of Jonah Magnus. “Let’s try a different angle.”
What is this man on?
“How attractive is he? I think he would be the type of guy to have abs, and be very strong, wouldn’t you agree, Jon?”
He wouldn’t agree. Not even a little bit. But he wasn’t going to risk losing his job over this mania that had seemed to have taken over Elias. He shifted in his chair again, desperate to get out of this situation. “Sure, he is uh… very attractive, Elias.”
“Yes, I thought so!” His boss beamed. “Alright, you are dismissed, go back to your job.”
Jon got up and left the room, incredibly confused and wondering if that interaction was real.
Elias reclined back in his chair, cradling the picture of himself like a baby.
very epic ihnmaims fanfic where am n ted talk abt fortnite n then make out passionately
crack scenarios pt 1
Yan!Himbo— So, can this pretty boy get a kiss~?
Genius!reader—…
Genius!Reader— No.
_____________________________________________ 10 minutes later
_____________________________________________
Yan!Himbo (banging on Readers dorm room door)— PLEASE JUST ONE KISS!?
Genius!Reader (Barricading the door with their dresser)— What the fuck?!
YALL GO CHECK THIS OUT IM SIMPING SO HARD OH MAH GAWD 🤭🤭
Please Please Please (Don't Prove 'Em Right) Chapter 4
Trafaglar Law x Female!Reader
Previous Chapter | Next Chapter
Warnings: usage of the b word
Summary:
You are the Heart Pirates' beloved cook and sniper. However, you were also an insufferable troublemaker who always seemed to get on Law's nerves. He swears he's going to get rid of you one day, but as much as he hates it, why does he find you fascinating? Was it because you reminded him of someone he was greatly fond of?
As your relationship with Law grows, he only hopes you don't fucking embarrass him. After all, he has an image to uphold as one of the Seven Warlords of the Sea.
This story starts off as short stories between (Y/N), Law and the Heart Pirates, then picks up into the One Piece canon timeline, starting from Punk Hazard. This is a slow-burn Law x Female Reader story!
Updates every Sunday!
Cross-posted in Ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/57651295/chapters/146705491
Chapter 4: I Forgot to Put In My Two Weeks In and Now My Former Boss Is Trying to Kill Me
Chapter summary: The day after Law's birthday celebration, the Heart Pirates and Kid Pirates run into each other. Law and Kid were already rivals, but when Kid finds out that his former cook and sniper is now a Heart Pirate, he doesn't take that information lightly.
Notes: The Kid Pirates are here! Also, there is a slight Killer x Reader if you squint (more like a one-sided love lol). I think this is my favourite chapter LMAO
I also created a taglist. Let me know if you want to be a part of it!
wc: 3.3k
The sun was rising to start a new day on a tropical island at the Grand Line Paradise. After a raucous evening of celebrating Captain Law's birthday, the crew was passed out on the floor of the local pub. The rays of the sun started to peep through the windows of the pub, and the crew was slowly beginning to wake up. You were sleeping next to the captain with your head on his left shoulder, who was sitting up in the corner. You slowly blinked your eyes, desperately trying to focus your vision as you scanned around the room. Realizing that you were leaning against Law, you quickly scrambled to get up. However, that was a bad idea because your head was pounding from a hangover.
"Ah fuck." you groaned as you got up. With hands on your head, you staggered to find a nearby chair and sat down. You sighed deeply as you remembered what happened last night.
“I really appreciate you, for everything that you are. Happy Birthday, Captain Law.” you had said.
Suddenly, your entire body started to heat up. You banged your head on the table in front of you out of embarrassment.
"Why did I say that? That was basically a confession..." you mumbled.
It felt stuffy in the room full of pirates passed out on the floor, so you decided to step outside for some fresh air. As soon as you stepped out, the sun's warm rays hit your face. You squinted as you observed the quiet town, hearing the birds chirp and the gentle breeze brush against the trees. Taking a deep breath, you took this rare moment of peace and savoured it. After a few minutes, you decided to head back to the Polar Tang. As you were nearing the submarine, you also noticed that there was a ship to the far right of the dock. It looked familiar.
Too familiar.
It was the Victoria Punk.
That means...
"Eustass Kid is here?!" you whispered harshly. Kid was your former captain when you used to be a cook, but you had to run away because the food you made was accidentally poisoned, almost killing Kid. Sweat started to form on your forehead as you rapidly whipped your head back and forth to see if any of the Kid Pirates were around. Once you saw that the coast was clear, you ran back into town to warn the captain.
You were one building away from the pub when you suddenly heard two familiar voices ahead. You took one look and your blood ran cold. It was Wire and Heat.
By now, you were positively panicking and fully freaking out. To avoid being seen, you ran to your right and hid in a nearby alleyway. You crouched behind some wooden crates and waited until the two Kid Pirates members walked past.
"What are you doing here?" a deep voice whispered behind you.
You dismissed the voice you heard, thinking that it was a townsfolk. "Hiding from the Kid Pirates. I have a rough history with them."
You heard a chuckle. "Is that so? How come?" the voice asked.
Sighing, you rubbed your temples. "I used to be part of their crew, but I ditched since I accidentally food-poisoned their captain."
"Oh yeah, the captain wants you dead." he teased.
Annoyed at the 'townsperson', you turned around to retaliate, only to find yourself staring at a pair of legs with blue jeans on. You slowly glanced up and saw that they were wearing a blue shirt with a jolly roger that looked familiar. They were also very ripped, with their muscles protruding through the shirt that you swore it was going to rip. Then you finally glanced up to see that they were wearing a blue and white mask with holes.
"Oh no." you thought. This was no townsfolk, this was-
"Killer!?" you screamed in shock. You rapidly got up to run away from the second in command of the Kid Pirates, but he crouched down, pushed you down with him and placed his large hand over your mouth, muffling your scream.
You glanced at the small crack of space between the crate and wall and saw that Wire and Heat were standing in front of the alleyway, looking at Killer.
"Hey Kil, what are you doing?" Wire asked.
"Yeah, who's that? We heard someone scream your name so we went to check out what was happening." Heat added on.
Your eyes drifted back to the masked man in front of you. You attempted to squirm and crawl away, but Killer pushed you further down to the ground.
"Just a thief who tried to rob me. It's fine," he answered back to his crew-mates.
Wire and Heat looked at each other and shrugged. They proceeded to walk away, continuing their conversation.
Killer released his hand from your mouth and stood up. He looked down at you and saw that you were catching your breath.
You glared up at the man. "Why did you lie to save me? Knowing you, you would've run to Kid and snitched that I was here." you suspiciously asked.
The blond tilted his head. "Do you really think of me as Kid's pet dog?"
Lifting yourself off the ground, you leaned up against the wall and smirked at him. "You are basically his dog since you're always so obedient when following orders. Anyways, are you fond of me or something? Did you miss me?" you teased.
There was a pregnant pause before Killer responded.
"I always was fond of you," he said.
You blinked in confusion before he continued, "The whole crew was. I- we missed you." he continued.
A light pink hue showed up on the side of his neck but you failed to notice it.
"Great whatever thanks. Now be a gentleman and go away and pretend that you never saw me. I'd prefer it that Kid doesn't find out that I'm here." you muttered, ignoring the masked man's sudden confession.
Killer glanced at your boiler suit "Or, you don't want him to find out that you joined his number one rival's crew." he commented.
"Hey, they treated me way better than those brutes on the Victoria Punk. Captain Law treats me way better than Kid does," you argued.
"Even with those ridiculous pranks of yours? I know that you didn't stop doing them now that you're with a different crew." Killer playfully questioned. You swore that you could sense that he was smiling under that mask of his.
"Yup!" you said, putting your hands on your hips with pride. "I even hang out with Captain Law now, and he doesn't treat me like garbage."
The blond man looked at you. You felt his eyes observe the unusually excited expression on your face. He saw that your eyes lit up when you talked about the Surgeon of Death.
"Hey (Y/n), do you like Law?" He straightforwardly asked.
A deep blush appeared on your cheeks. You looked towards your side, trying to avoid eye contact (you can't see his eyes). "W-what? What are you talking abo-"
"(Y/N)?!!" someone bellowed.
You and Killer froze and looked at the entrance of the alleyway. There stood a very angry red-haired man with a mechanical left arm. If looks could kill, you would be long dead by now.
The day just started and someone already wanted to kill you. It was a pirate's life after all.
"H-hey Captain Kid, l-long time no see!" you stuttered as you attempted to defuse the situation.
Kid's nostrils were expanded like a bull as he heaved in and out. His eyes twitched at the sight of his first mate and best friend getting chummy over an ex-crewmate.
The red-haired man took one stomp forward and it was a sign for you to get out there. You pushed Killer away from you and dashed further into the alleyway.
"Killer! Don't just stand there, get that bitch!" Kid yelled.
The masked man sighed. He couldn't disobey his captain, so he dashed off to find you.
You ran until you saw the back door of the pub. Using your pistol, you shot at the door three times and kicked it down. You rushed inside and screamed at the top of your lungs to wake up your crewmates. They all slowly got up and groaned, clearly displeased at your screaming. Law was already awake eating breakfast at a nearby table with Penguin and Shachi, They winced when they heard you barge in and scream.
The captain sighed. "(Y/n)-ya, it's too early for your nonsense." he calmly said as he continued to eat.
You stumbled towards Law, grabbed his shoulders and shook him. "This is no-nonsense captain! T-the Kid Pirates! They're here and they're going to kill me!" you hissed at him.
That statement got the tattooed captain suddenly alert. His eyes shot up at you as he suddenly got up from his chair, grabbing Kikoku, which was leaning on the table.
"Kid Pirates?! Here? And they want to kill you? What did you do to piss them off?!" he hissed back at you.
"I-" you started, but suddenly stopped because you realized that you never told Law that you used to be a part of Kid's crew.
The front door of the pub suddenly split into pieces, revealing a very, very angry Eustass Kid. You ran to the bar area and hid behind the bar table.
"You little bitch! You can't hide from me!" he bellowed. He turned his head to the right and saw Law glaring at him, which pissed him off even more.
"What are you doing here Trafalgar?!" he yelled.
"I could ask you the same thing Eustass-ya." Law calmly retorted.
"I came to this island to restock before heading into the New World, but I ran into a bitch who used to be a part of my crew." he sneered.
Law tilted his head in confusion. "Former crewmate?" he asked.
Kid growled as he marched up to Law. "What's it to ya?! Getting all nosy in my business? That girl who just hopped behind the bar table used to be my cook!"
The doctor's tattooed fingers squeezed around Kikoku. "(Y/n)-ya used to be on your crew?" he lowly said.
You peeked up at the table only to find Kid and Law sending you a death glare your way. You slowly got up and gave a nervous laugh.
"H-hey, so funny story captain..." you said, as you nervously scratched your cheek.
"Cut the bullshit (Y/n)-ya! You joined my crew and didn't tell me that you were previously associated with Kid?!" Law yelled at you.
"WHAT?! YOU JOINED TRAFALGAR'S CREW?" Kid also yelled at you.
The room was filled with tension. The Heart Pirates were silently observing the exchange between you, Law and Kid. You slowly lowered yourself down to hide behind the bar table once again.
"Room." you suddenly heard Law say.
Realizing that you were about to be teleported away from hiding, you scrambled to run away.
"Shambles."
You should've kept those sea prism cuffs on him.
As soon as you were teleported to Law's side, you attempted to run away. However, Law foresaw this and grabbed the collar of your boiler suit.
"Explain yourself here (Y/n)-ya before I behead you," he ordered. So much for the tender moment you shared with him the night before.
You grumbled as you faced Law and Kid. "Alright fine. Before I joined your crew, I was in Kid's crew. I was their chef. I accidentally food-poisoned Kid and ran away because he was going to kill me." you explained.
"You don't just accidentally poison someone with food you rat, you legitimately tried to kill me!" Kid shouted at you, not believing your explanation.
Law grip on your collar tightened. "If you're going to shout at someone Eustass, shout at me." he lowly said.
"Stay out of me and my cook's business Trafalgar." Kid sneered back.
Law took a step forward towards Kid and grabbed his black wifebeater. "(Y/n)-ya is NOT your cook!" he argued.
You smirked. "Yeah Kid, I already joined the Heart Pirates. You all miss my cooking that badly?" you teased the red-hair.
Kid broke his glare away from Law and squinted at you. "Your cooking was shit!" he retorted.
"Puh-lease, I bet after I left you guys were eating dog food since none of you guys can cook for shit!" you shot back.
Killer, who was standing where the front door used to be the entire time, spoke up. "Uh actually, I became the cook after you left. I'm pretty decent at cooking," he muttered.
"SHUT UP!" you and Kid yelled at him.
You sighed. This mess had to stop now before an actual fight broke out. You walked up and wedged in between your captain and Kid. You gently pushed the angry redhead away, much to his annoyance.
"Alright, Kid. I should have apologized to you instead of running away. I'm sorry for food poisoning you." you apologized to him.
The apology, even though it was half-assed, seemed to deflate Kid's anger a bit. He stared long and hard at you before he spoke up. "Whatever, get back on the ship," he ordered.
The Surgeon of Death didn't seem to like that. "Hey Eustass-ya, for your information in case your smooth brain didn't get it, (Y/n)-ya is part of my crew now. So get lost." he scoffed.
"Are you looking for a fight Trafalgar?! (Y/n) is my cook and she belongs to my crew so beat it!" Kid scowled. He started to march up towards you and Law.
You put your arms out and attempted to shove Kid back. "H-hey, let's not fight here okay? Let's actually not fight at all! Let's talk this out like proper pirates we are!" you said with fake cheerfulness.
In the background, Hakugan stiffened a laugh. "Oh man, this is entertaining," he said.
"I agree, seeing captain fight over (Y/n)-ya is kind of cute." Shachi agreed.
"Yeah, he never really stands up for anyone in the crew. He really has a soft spot for her." Penguin said.
"You guys ...we should be helping the captain right now!" Bepo urged nervously,
Ikkaku laughed and patted Bepo's back. "Everything's fine Bepo! Let's just see what happens!" she reassured the mink.
Meanwhile, Kid pushed you aside to the front of the bar. You stumbled and landed on your butt. "You asshole, you didn't need to shove me!" you scowled at Kid.
The redhead ignored you and grabbed Law's white wifebeater. "You have my cook. She belongs to my crew and she's coming back with me now." he lowly growled.
The tattooed doctor scowled at him. "She's not going back to you. Leave this bar Eustass-ya, you are not taking my girl," he said.
The entire room suddenly became quiet. It took everyone three seconds to process what Law said, even Law himself.
"MY GIRL?!" the entire crew yelled in surprise.
You were a blushing mess. Glancing up at your captain, you saw that his ears were red from embarrassment.
"He called me his girl?" you thought.
Meanwhile, Kid and Killer were not amused. The blond masked man suddenly walked inside towards Law, but you stuck out your leg and tripped him on the ground, landing face (mask?) first. The Massacre Soldier promptly got up and glared at you.
The red-haired captain shoved Law up against the wall. "My girl? I see you got all chummy with my cook huh?" he hissed.
"Of course, she's my girl, just like how she's part of my crew. I own my crew." the doctor tried to clear up.
By now, the Heart Pirates were ready to fight. The rest of the Kid Pirates showed up as well, crowding up to the front of the pub.
You nervously whipped your head around. This was not the ideal situation, and you had to get the crew out of there fast.
An idea popped into your head. A very stupid idea.
"Everybody, RUN!" you screamed.
The next five minutes were a blur. As soon as you told everyone to run, the entire bar erupted into chaos. Kid punched Law in the face, and Law proceeded to 'ROOM' the entire bar and teleport the entire crew out. Killer barked orders to chase after the Heart Pirates, and soon enough, the once quiet morning turned into a pirate brawl out in the streets.
You attempted to escape the brawl but were held down by Killer, who shoved you into the ground. However, you maneuvered your leg up so you could kick Killer in the stomach. You quickly picked yourself up and pointed your pistol at him. Seeing that you were one step ahead of him, the masked man raised his hands in defeat.
Killer chuckled. "So you and Law huh? It didn't take long either." he teased.
You huffed as you gripped your pistol tighter. "W-what are you talking about? I told you there's nothing between me and the captain!" you shot back.
The Massacre Soldier slowly walked up to you amidst the chaos. "If I had known that this would happen, I wouldn't have let you escape," he murmured.
You found yourself unable to move as Killer stopped in front of you. He lowered his face down to your level, and you swore you could see his eyes through the holes in the mask. Then he suddenly grabbed your waist and pulled you close to you, with his right hand resting on the back of your head. "I told you, I was always fond of you (Y/n)." he lowly said against your ear.
But before you could react, Killer was violently shoved off of you, and he flew several meters back. Your captain was suddenly in front of you, heaving heavily as he shot the deadliest glare you've ever seen at the masked man. Then he yelled to the crew; "Everyone back at the Polar Tang!"
The pirates abruptly stopped the fight and then proceeded to run. The Kid Pirates started to run too. Law grabbed your left arm and hoisted you up, urging you to run as well. The two of you proceeded to run as Law tightly gripped onto your arm.
"Hey, captain! I had never seen that angry before! Did Killer do something to offend you?" you breathlessly asked as you ran.
The captain didn't glance at you. "Just shut up and run! All of this is your fault! My birthday turned into the worst day ever because the Eustass-ya is here!" he shouted at you.
"That's not nice captain, you were so nice to me yesterday!" you pouted.
"Now's not the time (Y/N)-ya!" Law countered back at you. You failed to notice the light tinge of red that donned on his ears.
You heartily laughed. By hearing your laugh, Law couldn't help but smirk, regardless of this ridiculous situation you put him in. As you, Law and the rest of the Heart Pirates rushed back to the submarine, you couldn't help but think about how every day was a fun day with your favourite crew.
"You are not taking my girl." Law's voice replayed in your head.
A light giggle escaped your lips. One of the Seven Warlords of the Sea called you his girl and you were definitely not complaining.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Bonus Scene:
"Killer, this tastes like shit." Kid complained.
"Yeah, man. Also, do you have to cook spaghetti every day?" Wire also complained.
"Shut up and eat your food. We tried to get (Y/n) back but failed, so you're going to have to deal with my cooking from now on." Killer snapped back, as he sat down with his plate of food.
The redhead glanced at his second command. "You seem more upset about this than I am. What gives?" Kid asked.
Heat poked his fork at Killer's helmet. "Isn't it obvious captain? Killer has a thing for (Y/n)!" he teased.
"Eat your goddamn food," the masked man grumbled. The table of Kid Pirate officers erupted in laughter.
The Kid Pirates were going to miss your cooking, but no one was going to miss you more than Killer.
YESSS @eternalmoonlight18 WE HAVE GOTTEN CHAPTER FIVE I LOVE IT OH MAH GAWDDDD 🤭🤭🤭
Please Please Please (Don't Prove 'Em Right) Chapter 5
Trafaglar Law x afab Female!Reader
Previous Chapter | Next Chapter
Chapter warnings: slight descriptions of pain, gore, and panic attacks.
Summary:
You are the Heart Pirates' beloved cook and sniper. However, you were also an insufferable troublemaker who always seemed to get on Law's nerves. He swears he's going to get rid of you one day, but as much as he hates it, why does he find you fascinating? Was it because you reminded him of someone he was greatly fond of?
As your relationship with Law grows, he only hopes you don't fucking embarrass him. After all, he has an image to uphold as one of the Seven Warlords of the Sea.
This story starts off as short stories between (Y/N), Law and the Heart Pirates, then picks up into the One Piece canon timeline, starting from Punk Hazard. This is a slow-burn Law x Female Reader story!
Updates every Sunday!
Cross-posted in Ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/57651295/chapters/146705491
Chapter 5: The Devil Fruit
Chapter summary: You discover that Law plans to take down Doflamingo and his possible alliance with the Strawhats. You angrily get off the submarine, misunderstanding why Law needed to do it on his own. Not affording to lose his only cook on the ship, he chases after you, only to find that you have eaten a devil fruit from a nearby island.
A/N: ANGST ANGST ANGST CHAPTER!!! we're getting closer to the canon timeline! I also just came back from vacation so yeah lol. I also apologize for the late post, I came back trip and I was exhausted LOL.
PS, can you guess who your brother is in this story now? The type of Devil Fruit you ate will be revealed in the end hehe.
Also CW/TW: slight descriptions of pain, gore, and panic attacks.
I also created a taglist. Let me know if you want to be a part of it!
wc: 5k
In the middle of the night, the Polar Tang was eerily quiet. By now, the Heart Pirates have gone to bed. However, in the captain's room, a faint light can be seen seeping through the cracks of the room's door. Law is sitting on his bed, holding a tattered grey hooded shawl. His tattooed hands gently caressed it as he recalls the time when he wore the fabric. It was the day when he lost his saviour. He could never bring himself to throw out the dirty old shawl, even though it brought back one of the worst moments of his life, because it was the only thing that he had in memory of his saviour, Corazon.
The doctor leaned against the headboard of his bed and sighed as he closed his eyes. He had to make this plan work. It was a tough decision to leave his crew behind and to leave you behind, but if he wanted to succeed in taking down Kaido, he needed to face his worst nightmare first, which was the man who killed his saviour. As he gripped the shawl tighter, his eyes drifted to his desk where your bounty poster lay.
In the past couple of months, Law had gotten closer to you, the crew's cook and sniper. What used to be a mutual relationship of captain and crew has evolved into a friendship, but his heart began to yearn for something more. He was unsure if you felt the same way, but he also knew that it was foolish to act upon his feelings as he was a dangerous criminal. Putting his crew and his friends in danger due to association is something he does not want, especially if it comes to a romantic association. So he decided it was best to protect his crew, to protect you, and the best way to do it was to act on this plan with a different crew.
The tattooed captain sighed as he put away the shawl on his bedside table.
"Please forgive me everyone, (Y/n)-ya, but I must leave soon. I need to keep all of you safe and I cannot afford to lose anyone again," he murmured as he turned off the lamp that illuminated his room. He was ready to tell the crew about his plans tomorrow.
But little did he know, you were listening to him the whole time at his door.
-------------------
The next morning, Law was met with a piece of bread on his plate at the dining table. The whole crew was eating breakfast, and he decided to join. But while you served everyone what they wanted to eat, you dropped a plate of hot garbage in front of your captain.
Angrily glaring down at Law at his seat, you kicked his seat, encouraging him to eat up. Your captain looked up at you with deadpan eyes.
"You're joking right?" he griped. "You out of all people should know that I hate bread (Y/n)-ya."
You shrugged. "I know. But everything else ran out, so eat it," you said.
"You just served Hakugan his second serving of rice balls. What do you mean you don't have anything left?" Law argued. The captain glared at Hakugan who was sitting across from him. The poor man had his cheeks full of rice balls and tried to look away.
Law glanced back at you and saw your eyes flare up with anger. "Did I do something to anger you (Y/n)-ya?" he asked.
You crossed your arms. "I don't know captain, you tell me. Did you do something?" you scoffed.
A vein started to pop on the doctor's forehead. "I don't have time for your petty games. If you have a problem with me say it right now." he gritted.
"Is that so? Well if you want it straightforward, please enlighten us on your plans to ditch the crew." you spat out.
The dining hall suddenly became quiet as the whole crew looked toward you and Law. The tattooed doctor simply sighed.
"The captain is leaving us?!"
"Wait where is he going?"
"How come we're just finding this out right now?"
The murmurs of the crew started to pick up. Bepo started to bombard Law with more questions, while Shachi and Penguin just blankly stared at their captain.
The captain rubbed his temple and glared up at you. "What gave you the idea that I was going to ditch the crew?" he questioned.
Your eye twitched in irritation. "Don't act foolish captain, I overheard you saying that you were going to leave soon!" you shouted at him.
Suddenly, Law realized that you had heard him talking to himself last night. "Why were you eavesdropping at my door last night?" he questioned.
"Stop avoiding the question captain." you spat back.
Realizing that it was useless to keep his plans under cover, the captain stood up and began to address the crew. "Since our dear cook eavesdropped on me last night and got the wrong idea, I will just tell you all now what I was going to say later on in the day," he announced.
The dining hall once fell into silence again, with everyone giving their undivided attention to their captain. Law looked at everyone, then at you, then back at everyone with hesitant eyes.
"For the next month or so, I will be going on a solo mission to take down Doflamingo, who is Kaido." he declared. "This is a two-step plan so please listen carefully. I will depart a week after we reach the New World. I will head to Punk Hazard, which is where the SMILE fruits are being produced. I plan to capture the head of production there, Caesar and use him as a bargaining chip for Doflamingo, who is a direct subordinate of Kaido as he is the one supplying the Emperor. I will force him to step down from the Warlord status and eventually will defeat him with the help of the Strawhats."
He paused for a few seconds and then continued. "I need all of you to head to Zou once I depart. We will meet there once I accomplish what I need to do. As your captain, I ask you to please trust me with this plan." he finished.
You were completely bewildered. Even though you were given a clear explanation, somehow this made you even angrier than before. Did the captain not trust you or the crew enough to assist him? It was a dangerous plan and he wanted to do it all by himself without
But before you could speak up, Penguin suddenly spoke up. "We trust you captain! You can trust us to follow through with your plan!" he affirmed.
"Yeah! Finally, you decide to take him down!" Shachi also encouraged.
"Captain!! Please be safe and come back to us!!" Bepo cried out.
The entire crew suddenly burst out into cheers, encouraging and reassuring their captain that his plan would be a success. Seeing that his crew trusted him, he let out a small smile. However, when he looked back at you, who was by his side the whole time, you were looking down with your eyes darkened. You were trembling, and Law was unsure if it was out of anger or sadness.
Law attempted to reach out to you. "(Y/n)-ya-"
"ALL OF YOU ARE IDIOTS!" you suddenly screamed.
Everyone stopped and looked at you. They saw a side of you that they never saw; you were furious. You were shaking from head to toe, with both of your hands clutched in anger. Your breath was laboured, breathing heavy as your chest heaved up and down and your face was scrunched up in a scowl.
Turning around to face Law, you grabbed the collar of his black coat and sneered. "What kind of stupid plan is that?! You're just going to get up and leave?! You don't trust any of us to help you?!" you spat at him.
Law's face twisted into a cloudy expression. His grey eyes bore into yours, with conflicted feelings written all over his face.
"I trust that all of you, especially you (Y/n)-ya to follow through with my plan. I just said that I trusted everyone here to meet me at Zou for the second part of my plan." he calmly said.
"It's not trust when none of us are assisting you. Are we a burden Captain Law? Do we hold you back? Why are you reaching out to others to help you?" you pressed on. Your angry facade started to fade and was being replaced with hurt and sadness.
"Y/N! You're pushing it!" Ikkaku yelled out to you.
"Isn't it disrespectful to question the captain's authority and motives?" Jean Bart murmured.
You let go of the collar and faced the rest of the crew. "Are all of you that blind to see that he does not trust us to help him? Why are all of you agreeing with him?" you argued.
Shachi stepped up to you and glared. "(Y/n), if the captain says that's the plan, we have to follow it." he countered.
Your eyes bore into Law's once more. "Answer me oh dear captain. What's the reason for doing this without us?" you questioned once more.
Law never had anyone one of his crew members question his plans or authority. Seeing you speak up and question him made him feel uncomfortable and angry. He was the captain and he knew what was best for you and for everyone in the submarine.
"Because (Y/n)-ya, this whole operation is something I need to do alone. I need all of you to be safe, and this mission can result in casualties. I am not trying to lose all of my crew in this." he lowly answered.
That was not the answer you wanted to hear.
"So what you're saying is, we're too weak to help?" you breathily said.
"That's not what I meant-" he started but you cut him off with a sarcastic laugh.
"We're pirates, captain. What makes you think we can't hold out on our own? We fought mercilessly against marines and other pirates, but you think we cannot handle some big shot like Doflamingo?!" you screamed at him.
The captain had enough of your disrespect towards him. Why couldn't you see that he was trying to protect you?
"(Y/n)-ya! You are to follow my orders! Have trust in me as your captain!" he finally shouted back.
"Trust? You have the guts to talk about trust when you can't even trust us to fight alongside you!" you countered back at him.
The entire crew watched you and Law scream at each other like a tennis match. The once easy-going vibe was now replaced with suffocating tension in the dining room.
You took a step back as your eyes started to well up. You were hurt that the captain decided to toss you and the crew aside for a mission. You didn't understand why he couldn't trust everyone enough to fight with him. After all, it was your duty as his subordinate right?
Or was it your duty because you didn't want him to leave your side?
"I had so much respect for you captain. Now, I don't know," you whispered, finally breaking the silence. You felt your heart hammering through your chest, anxious about the whole situation.
However, the next sentence that Law said broke your heart even more.
"If you don't agree with me, then feel free to leave (Y/n)-ya."
Your eyes darkened as your head hung, looking at the floor. The whole crew gasped and started to murmur.
"Hey, he must be joking right?"
"Well, she started questioning the captain and disrespecting him."
"Hey (Y/n), you're not going to leave right?"
You looked back up at Law, but instead of tears filling your eyes, he saw an unreadable expression. He knew he shouldn't have said those words, but he couldn't take them back. He understood the difficult decisions he had to make as a leader of a pirate crew. It was either he kept you safe or risk losing you forever. By choosing the former, it was best that if you refused to follow his plan, he would rather have you leave his crew.
You let out a soundless laugh. You thought he would care, but turns out he was willing to throw you away. You turned to your right and spoke to Bepo as you finally decided. "Bepo, surface this submarine right now," you said.
The mink started to panic. "(Y/n)-san-"
"Surface. Now," you darkly ordered. The polar bear started apologizing profusely as he scrambled to the helm of the submarine.
Penguin and Shachi scurried up to you in panic. "Hey (Y/n)! You know that captain didn't mean that right?" Penguin tried to explain.
Ikkaku also hurried by your side. "No wait! Don't go we need you!" she begged.
You bitterly smiled at your friends. "No, clearly I have overstayed my welcome here. I'm going." you sighed. As they tried to reach out and hug you, you shrugged them off and stormed off to your room to pack your things.
The entire crew started to frantically urge their captain to take his words back and not let you go. But amidst the chaos, he could only watch your figure disappear out the door as his heart ached.
30 minutes later, you were gone and out of the Polar Tang.
---------------------
You sailed your small boat towards a small island populated with lush forest with sand that surrounded the area. You only had your clothes, some food, a log pose and your denden mushi in your essentials bag. You were rowing for two hours so you collapsed in exhaustion when you set foot on the sanded beach. With your back on the sand, you stared up at the clear blue sky as the sun shone bright. Recalling your argument with Law, your eyes started to well up with tears, this time letting them run freely down the sides of your face. You immediately brought your hands to your eyes and attempted to wipe them as you wailed in desperation. You thought you and Law were friends, you thought that you were respected as much as you respected him. All the times you got to know him, and became closer with your captain, was all for nothing.
After crying for a good 30 minutes, you got up and proceeded to make your way into the forest with your bag in tow. You were now wearing a tank top with black baggy pants. It was the first time you wore regular clothes in a while. Trudging through the sand, you found yourself coming in contact with something small on your left foot. You look down to see a pear-like fruit lying halfway buried in the sand. It piqued your interest, so you crouch down and pick it up with your left hand. Looking closely, it was decorated with swirls with a weird feather-shaped stem on top.
"Weird, this looks like a Devil Fruit," you muttered as you gave it a sniff. You decided to put it in your bag and continued to trudge in the forest. You explored around for twenty minutes, looking for a place to rest. After an hour of walking, you were starting to get dehydrated and hungry. You also noticed it started to get darker. Looking up, you realized that storm clouds quickly gathered and rain was slowly starting to fall, so you picked up your pace and started running, hoping to run into a big tree to shelter under. However, a tree root caught on your right foot, and you fell to the ground, hitting your head on a small log. The bag that you were holding fell in front of your face with the contents spilling out of it.
The last thing you saw before you blacked out was the Devil Fruit rolling out of your bag.
--------------------
"Captain...we have to go back for (Y/n)-san!" Bepo pleaded as he gripped Law's left leg.
The captain was sitting crosslegged as he read a book on the common area couch of the Polar Tang. He was dressed in a simple black tee with his signature spotted jeans. He simply grunted in response, his eyes not looking away from the book.
Shachi, Penguin and Ikkaku stood in front of their captain. All three of them were visibly pissed and worried that their dear friend and crewmate left.
"Captain! Please be reasonable! I get it that she was somewhat disrespectful, but she doesn't know the real reason for your plan!" Shachi spluttered.
"Shachi is right!" Penguin agreed. "She doesn't know about Corazon at all!"
As Corazon was mentioned, the tattooed doctor let out a 'tch' as a vein started to pop up on his temple.
Ikkaku rolled her eyes. "Both of you don't know how to communicate with one another, and you guys aren't official yet," she muttered.
Law whipped his head up and glared at his crew member. "Are you implying that I would be in a romantic relationship with one of my subordinates?" he hissed.
"Oh come on cap, it was so obvious you have a crush on her." the curly-haired girl spat back.
He remained silent after that. The three crewmates looked at each other with blank faces.
The polar bear proceeded to get up and sat on the floor at Law's feet. "I'm worried for her Captain. You know how clumsy she can be. What if she hits her head or accidentally drowns?" the mink fretted.
The captain's left foot started to tap on the floor. Seeing that Law was starting to get anxious with the idea of you getting hurt, Shachi started to rile him up even more.
"Yeah, you're right Bepo. Knowing Y/n, she might get eaten by a large snake or something." he hummed.
"Remember the time she pissed off this giant bear and almost got her head bitten off?" Ikkaku added on.
"Oh yeah! I also remembered when she lit herself on fire when-" Penguin continued before he got cut off.
"Okay! We will retrieve her." Law said finally snapping as he suddenly rose from the couch. The four crewmates suddenly broke up into a smile and cheered.
The captain frowned as he proceeded to exit the common area and started to walk to the helm.
"You're lucky I care about you (Y/n)-ya," he lowly muttered as he got ready to surface his submarine.
-----------------
The first thing you felt waking up was your stomach rumbling.
Your eyes slowly opened as you started to gain consciousness. Your entire body was completely wet and covered with leaves and dirt. You shivered as you felt the cold breeze hit your skin. As your body started to wake up, you felt a sharp pain on your right foot and your forehead as you tried to get up.
"Urghh," you groaned as you pushed yourself up to sit on your bum. Your stomach growled loudly in hunger. Clutching your stomach with your left arm in hunger pain, you started to pat with your right hand around the area for the food that had fallen out of your bag since your sight was still blurry. The first thing your hand came in contact with was what seemed to be a small fruit with lumps, so you picked it up and proceeded to bite into it absentmindedly.
As you chewed the fruit in your mouth, you immediately became repulsed at how disgusting it tasted. Your face twisted in disgust as you continued to chew it and swallow it. After a few bites, your vision started to clear up and looked down to see what you were eating.
"Oh shit!" you shouted as you dropped the fruit. You scrambled to get up, but your legs gave up on you as your face met the ground. Getting up once again, your heart started to palpitate as you realized you had eaten a Devil Fruit.
Tears started to gather in your eyes again as you attempted to throw up the fruit. "No, no, no, no!" you mentally screamed as you attempted to wretch up the fruit from your stomach. "I refuse to be like my devil fruit freak of a brother!"
Your fingers started to dig into the ground, Your head started to spin as you started to breathe heavily. Tears dripped down your face and into the ground, as you slammed your head into the ground as you tried to throw up. While your panic attack starting to show, Law and the Heart Pirates started to show up by your side.
Law heard your screams once he set foot on the nearest island he found. He figured you would be at this deserted forest island since it was the nearest one to the submarine. Your wails echoed through the forest and into the beachy area of the island. As soon as the captain heard your screams, his heart dropped and started to sprint into the forest. Running the fastest he's ever run, he followed the sound of your yells until he spotted you, on all fours with your head down. The tattooed doctor's heart raced as he hoisted you up off the ground. His eyes scanned your body as he saw your entire body littered with dirt and grime. Your right foot was completely bloody and a lump started to show on the side of your head.
You looked up to see who picked you up and were met with familiar steel-grey eyes. Blinking away your tears, you started to shake as you realized that your captain had come back from you. His face expressed great concern, with his iris trembling as he gripped onto your left arm tightly.
"C-captain?" you quietly squeaked.
The next thing you knew, your head collided with his broad chest as he enveloped you in a hug.
"You stupid, stupid girl." He lowly muttered into your left ear. You lightly blushed as you felt his warm hands hold onto your hips. You felt your breath starting to stabilize. With your emotions at an all-time high, you continued to cry and shake in Law's chest.
The rest of the crew caught up to Law and saw your battered body in his arms. They all cried out to you seeing how hurt and dirty you were.
The doctor pulled you away from his chest and looked at you with concern. "What happened?" he asked.
You opened your mouth to answer back, but you were so lightheaded from crying and your panic attack that you blacked out once more, this time falling into your captain's arms. Law's tattooed hands caught onto you, immediately hoisting you up into a bridal style as soon as your body went limp. With his eyes not leaving your body, he commanded his crew to get the submarine ready for departure.
"Everyone back on the submarine now! Penguin, get the infirmary bed ready. Shachi set up the IV, she's severely dehydrated." he commanded.
"Yes, captain!" everyone shouted as they proceeded to rush back. Law glanced down at your unconscious form once with regret on his face before he shambled both of you back to the Polar Tang.
---------------------
"...(Y/n)-ya," you heard someone call out.
Your eyes started to slowly open as you regained your consciousness. As your vision cleared, you realized that you were back in the one place you swore to never visit again.
"Am I in hell?" you groaned as your voice started to wake up.
You heard someone sigh beside you. "Is that the first thing you're going to say after being almost left for dead?" a low voice said.
You turned your head to the right and saw that Law was sitting next to your bed. Your eyes trailed up to his face and saw that he had an unreadable expression resting on his handsome face.
"Captain, you came back for me?" you croaked.
A small smirk danced on his lips. "You wish, the crew was just annoying me to get you back." he lightly joked.
A chuckle left your lips as you turned your head back straight to stare up at the ceiling.
"I'm sorry for disrespecting you, captain." You apologized. Shifting your body in nervousness, you once again faced the man to your right.
"I guess I wanted to be useful. I am part of the crew after all. I'm a pirate, I know how to fight and take care of myself. But in all honestly captain, I..." you stopped to look into his eyes. "I didn't want to leave your side while you were fighting against a powerful person. I care for you as your subordinate and friend," you admitted.
Law's breath hitched once you spilled your confession. His stoic heart started to pick up as you told him that you cared for him. However, his face remained cold, not letting his facade down.
"Caring for me is foolish (Y/n)-ya. But I appreciate your concern. I also apologize for letting my emotions get the best of me. You are a valued member of my crew and I understand that your pride as a pirate was hurt when I shut you down." he spoke.
Your chest rumbled as you chuckled. "I guess I was being prideful too huh? What can I say, I'm a Heart Pirate after all."
"Your foolishness knows no bounds." your captain lightly joked as he shook his head. A smile started to form on his lips again. He began to speak until you cut him off.
"I know you must have your reasons on why you insist on doing the mission on your own. You can tell me when you're ready captain," you said.
Law's eyebrows shot up in surprise, but then quickly went back to his usual demeanour. "Alright then, I will tell you about it when you're all recovered."
You smiled. "Great. So will you let me come with you on your mission?" you asked.
Law's face fell. "No."
"Oh come on" you whined.
"I said no."
"I'll run away again if you don't let me."
The doctor scowled. "I'll think about it."
"Yes!" you yelled as you proceeded to get up. However, your body let you tell you that you were in too much pain to get up.
You moaned in pain as you slowly set yourself down on the bed. Your captain rolled his eyes.
"You idiot, you injured your leg and head. Do not rapidly get up like that." he reprimanded.
"Sorry." you huffed.
Your mind suddenly wandered back to when you accidentally ate the devil fruit and you winced.
"Is something else hurting you?" your doctor asked with concern as he saw you wince.
"Uhm," you started, "Well, I might have eaten something..."
"What? Was it a plant? Mushroom? Something poisonous?" he pressed on with worry laced in his voice.
You looked away as you started to sweat. "Uhm, I accidentally ate a devil fruit on the island..." you quietly muttered.
There was a pregnant pause.
"You what?!" Law hissed at you as he stood up straight from his chair. "Why would you do that?!"
"It was an accident! I was hungry and grabbed the first thing I saw! It was the reason why you saw me freak out..." you explained carefully.
The tattooed captain sighed as he leaned back on the chair. "You do realize that you cannot swim anymore right?"
"I never learned how to in the first place," you muttered.
"That's not the point. Do you know what kind of powers you gained?" he asked.
You hummed as you thought about the question. "Not sure, nothing happened to me yet."
"Well if you find out, you must tell me right away alright?"
"Okay, cap."
"Do not call me that."
"Sorry cap."
"Tch," Law grunted as he got up from his chair. "Go back to sleep rest. You don't need to eat for now since you have an IV connected to you. I'll check up on you every hour or so. Let me know if you need something or if you're feeling any more pain. And do not rip the IV off like you did last time." he commanded as he proceeded to walk out of the infirmary.
"Yes sir." you sarcastically shot at him. Sleep was catching up to you once again. Your eyes closed as you called out to your captain.
"What is is (Y/n)-ya?" he asked.
"Thank you for taking me back captain. I won't let you down." you sighed as your sleep started to take over you.
Law paused as he was halfway out the door. "You owe me a serving of rice balls," he answered back. But what he wanted to say to you was;
"Don't ever run away from me like that again. I will always come back to find you."
He chuckled and sighed as he closed the infirmary door once he realized you were fast asleep.
----------------
Bonus Scene:
You were woken up with loud cheers down the hall. Your eyes shot open as you heard the crew cheer your name. It seemed like they were celebrating your return.
"Those idiots celebrating but I'm not even there," you muttered. Closing your eyes once more, you tried to let sleep overtake you but their cheers and ramblings were keeping you awake.
Scoffing in annoyance, you flipped to your left side and tried to cover your ears with your pillow and your right palm.
"Ugh, I wish it would be silent right now!" you groaned as you snapped your fingers in annoyance.
Suddenly, everything went silent. You sighed in relief as you no longer heard the rambunctious crew. You were about to snooze once more until you realized what happened. Your eyes shot up as you suddenly sat up on the bed.
"Oh fuck."
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TAGLIST:
@hopelesslover06 @shakysif @eyes-ofhell @letmereadchristonabike @bi-narystars @valval08
Cave Talks
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notes: srry I didn’t have time 2 make chap 3 of A Spark of fire pookies 😞 in return I shall spoil yall with this 🤞🤞
warnings: none, js two idiots falling in love w/o knowing ☺️
paring: Portgas D Ace x gn!reader
wc: 394
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There was no one for you to blame, really. Neither of you could stop the waves from throwing you off course, and you didn’t ask the weather to be so horrible that you were left stranded on an island you hadn’t seen on any map before.
You tried to blame Ace, chiding him for rushing you out to sea when you warning him the timing was awful. He was pointing fingers all the same, reminding you that you were the one to pick the route. You probably would’ve been at each other’s throats if not for the rain. It seemed to dampen your anger into quiet resentment.
Within the hour, you found a cave; it was cold and damp all the same, but at least it wasn’t pouring. Ace waited until he was dry enough to spark up a fire, but you wondered if he’s been dry, and just choosing not to light a fire for you out of spite; you wouldn’t put it past him. You, on the other hand, shivered and clung to your own wet clothes. The silence was probably best, if you wanted to get out of here without wanting to chop your own head off from his yapping.
Just when you thought you could catch a break, you could feel Ace’s eyes glance over at you from his respective side of the cave.
“You’re better off letting your clothes air dry rather than clinging to them while they’re still wet.” His words hung in the air for a moment, he stared at you with a childish pout on his face.
“What?” You said, finally speaking up to him, not trying to hide the faint irritation in your tone.
“Are you mad at me?”
You scoffed, “I’m not mad at you, I’m mad at the choices you make, Ace”
…
A short silence followed after you had spoken, before he replied with a stubborn, “I’m still not going to start the fire.”
BONK!!
“You bastard!! You’re going to start a fire right now— no matter what!” You yelled, smashing the top of head,
the comical rage on your face looked like you wanted to bash his head in.
A slight twitch of irritation flashed in his eyes before finally getting up and facing the pile of wood you had gathered earlier,
”Fine,”a small flame igniting from his hand; starting the campfire.
(note: he probably has a huge ahh dent in the top of his head 💀)
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Please don’t repost this on any other platform without asking for permission on either dms or my discord!
reblogs would be appreciated!
m.list
AND IF YOU GO, I WANNA GO WITH YOU—
How would you—a part time guitarist and streamer, react when an upcoming streamer known as gojo admitted to liking your music and streams?
Streamer!gojo x streamer/musician!reader
GENRE- fluff, maybe some angst.. overall crack fic, strangers to lovers, fem mexican reader, college AU, modern AU, social media AU.
main masterlist… taglist…
⭑ YN’s group ⭑ GOJO’s group
CHAPTER 01: WIP
CHAPTER 02: N/A…
CHAPTER 03: N/A…
CHAPTER 04: N/A...
Grilled Cheese
pairings: Dabi x Reader
summary: you use your boyfriends quirk to fuel your sudden urge for grilled cheese
pretty much a crack fic based on this:
Art is by @/ijessbest on instagram, be sure to check her out for great art!!
Contains/Warnings: OOC characters, crack fic
----------------------------------------------
“Babe! Can you come’ere for a sec?” You called out to your boyfriend as he sighed and got up from his bed, making way to the bar where you were. Seeing you sitting at the bar with your hair tied up in a messy bun and wearing one of his hoodies with shorts on, made him a little less peeved of having to get up.
“What’s up doll?” He asked, wrapping an arm around your shoulders, seeing what was in front of you. A plate. And on that plate was two slices of bread and a slice of cheese. “Gimme your hands.” You said taking his hands in yours. You placed one palm facing up and put the slide of bread, cheese and the second slice in a sandwich. Then you placed his other palm on top of it faced down.
“Now heat it up!” You said with a small cheer as he sighed once again and did as he was instructed. After about a minute, the toast was now crisp and the cheese melted. Taking a bite of the grilled cheese, you hummed at the taste, greedily taking another bite. “I made it and you’re not even letting me have a bite.” Dabi teased as you giggled. Before you could retaliate, Twice and Toga flew through the door, “Is that grilled cheese?” They asked as you beamed up at your boyfriend who sighed once again.
About 10 minutes later, Shigaraki became curious as to why the base was suddenly so quiet. Waking out of his room, he made his way to the main bar area, where he could hear quiet tones and giggles. He also picked up on the smell of a food he had forgotten about. “What are you doing?” He asked as you all turned to your leader, who stood at the doorway, hunched over and scratching his neck. He saw Dabi with his elbows on the bar counter, hands pressing something together as steam slowly rolled off it.
“Grilled cheese.” You said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.
“Want one?” You ask as you grab one and hand it to him. It was at this point that he noticed the mountain of grilled cheese on the bar, and Spinner, Twice, and Toga shoving them all in their mouths. “I’m pretty sure we’re out of bread now.” You said looking at the trio. “We’ll go grocery shopping tomorrow.” Dabi said as he dropped the grilled cheese he was currently working on.
“Where’s Kurogiri?” Shigaraki asked, placing his Father down beside him and biting into the food. “Kuro? Down there.” You said pointing behind the bar, Kurogiri sat on the floor with a grilled cheese in his hand and a glass of wine in the other.