I Wish I Had The Words To Help, But Often More Then Not I Make Things Worse That Way.

I wish I had the words to help, but often more then not I make things worse that way.

So I lend you my ears, they sometimes don't understand what they hear but they listen patently, no judgement or heated words.

They are by far the best thing I can give you, not perfect, but patient.

I tried with all my diminishing strength to get up from the bed of nightmares and lead my ackeing body to feed, my appetite spells puking I only added one peice then two to my bowl of soapy dish and it fell on the previously stormed dust covered floor in protest to not make me feel any better.. I left everything tipped beyond return.. my eyes streaming burning tears and the lump in my throat choking me

Of course, life pleasures must not come easy to who's already so used to sorrow, why should I be gutted when everything does not work when I lived this way my whole life, mad sad and isolated in every aspect. I didn't choose to live this way and this way it seems the only way I can function, surrounded with continuous misery and flat aspirations, not allowed anything over their extreme views, growing older and withering without having experienced any basics of life yet, on a rate one new thing to happen to me every year, and that one thing is always laughably trivial, even I know I won't care for it after gone through it.. or that's only my filter of grief shading everything.. tired of putting my heart into what pulls no other, and resulting to shallow means to have the light briefly cast over me, only to blind me with the reality of what's the world is and how I know nothing or how it continually show me that i'll never be part of it, will never to belong, and even in the empty exile where I try to leave, there's no peace or acceptance.. why could a specimen of me not fit for living continues.. everything is making me wish I was never born..

*rolls up with a baseball bat because of the last few asks* 🤡🔪

Is this anon bothering you queen?? I'll take an ignorant fucker out I've got the time in my schedule. Hrhdjehw

But for real. Fuck off rude anon. And don't listen to them Birdy. I LOVE your art and I'm smitten with your art style please continue to make yourself happy with your creation because it sure makes me happy 💞💞❤️❤️💙💙🤡💗💖💖💝

OH KALL T0T

You are an angel. I have no doubt you'd handle them love ♥️

But don't worry I've dealt with bullies all my life I can handle one little shit

Even in the dead of night Zack could clearly see the blood pouring down Malachite's arm.

The operant odour of copper sat crisp on the frosty air. It chilled Zack down to his bones, despite wearing the old adventures much too large coat.

He could barely breathe as the voice of the attacker called out their demands "surrender Malachite, give up that thing and all this will be over"

Zack flinched at being called a thing

However Malachite not even blinking responded "As long as I'm breathing the boy will be free"

There was a flash as the injured man reclaimed his fallen sword calling out his finale words to the one he was fighting for "RUN ZACK, RUN!"

and run he did

Hey @its-kall-the-clown I hope this better answers your question on what happened between Zack and the old adventurer. 😭 I wanted this done quicker but I got impatient.

I was like lovingly fussing this furry demon and out of no wear she gets my toes

If anyone is wondering that anon is still at it 😂

It's getting sad really

I just keep blocking them my guy you've got some colourful language

Ok a little story/rant.

I have been having a few heath issues lately.

Loosing my breath, aching and continued tiredness. Swollen joints, even hair loss.

I have had repeated visits to the doctor and it's always the same reasons.

First you're overweight, true as this is I have lost over 4 stone of weight in the last 5 years. Slow I know by a good amount for someone in continuous pain, and the pain only gets worse.

Second you're young and shouldn't be having all these issues. No shit Sherlock that's why I'm here and shy of passing out or vomiting blood I apparently don't warrant an x-ray.

And lastly when I mention how almost all the women on my mum's side have lupus and started to show signs around my age it's instantly "no the chances are to low, it's impossible!"

I'm scared and annoyed about this. My auntie has lost a kidney and the other barely functions because her issues were always blamed on her weight, now it's her lupus.

I am showing all these signs and symptoms and am just being called paranoid and fat. I am paranoid, I know people who have died because their lupus wasn't treated correctly/ even found.

And I'm just being fobbed off, now I'm seen as this crazy lady wasting NHS money when all I want is help to feel normal or have the fucking reason s to why I feel this way all the time