Three (Not So) Little Words

Three (Not So) Little Words

includes: erwin, y/n

warnings: the phat L-word, mentions of death

length: 1,190 words

summary: Sometimes those three little words aren't so little.

A/N: I don't know how this idea got in my head. Literally, all a stranger did was hold a door open for me and say, "After you" with a smile. Anyways- tagging @sunshinedragonofthewest If you'd also like to be tagged, just let me know.

In your Cadet years, his affection was the least subtle.

When you could never properly adjust the leather belts of your uniform, he'd always give you a look before chuckling under his breath.

"Come here, let me fix it for you," he'd say. Erwin would always, always, wait for you to nod until he touched the leather straps. Stubbornly, you would always avoid looking at him while he helped you.

During a class, when you'd forgotten your mathematics book, he didn't hesitate to set his on your desk. You, wanting to thrive independently, placed it back on his almost instantly. Erwin playfully glared at you before giving it back. He caught your wrist gently when you tried to place it on his desk again.

"Just borrow mine. We both know you need it more than I do," he'd whispered in a teasing tone. The book remained in your hands after that.

After a couple of years and a countless amount of 'this reminded me of you's from Erwin, you both were off on your first expedition out of the walls.

The fond gestures stopped when he came back with blood splattered on his skin and clothes. It didn't belong to him, and it didn't belong to a titan.

Erwin was promoted to Squad Leader soon after, his passion and dedication to the cause allowing him to soar through the ranks. Soar higher and higher- and right into your heart.

The next time he gave you a taste of his old adoration was in the middle of a chilling winter. Your sleeping quarters hardly had any insulation, and the low-budget blankets on stiff mattresses could only do so much. Most people slept in the same bed for warmth. You refused to do such a thing with any of those soldiers.

The floorboards creaked from the cold and from your weight as you made your way to Erwin's quarters. You were going to file a complaint- there was no way he expected anyone to sleep in those conditions.

An upset knock later, he opened the door, and you completely forgot why you'd gone there in the first place when you saw him.

Erwin had circles darker than the night sky under his eyes as he blinked at you, seeming to just be waking up. Before you could apologize, he spoke gently.

"It's cold, isn't it?"

Dumbly, you nodded, and he gave a worn smile. He let you inside, let you get comfortable in his bed. As it turns out, the Squad Leader's blanket is made from the same material as yours.

Erwin didn't join you. Instead, he tried to get comfortable in the small chair that sat behind his desk.

"You aren't actually sleeping there... Right?"

"Don't worry about me." The hum he gave you warm your bones faster than anything in the world could, but his words upset you.

"But I am worried about you."

Erwin blinked as you sat up in his bed, and watched as you shuffled to the edge.

You gave him all the room he would ever need, and he still shifted close. Erwin quietly asked if he could hold you. You didn't answer at first. Yet the moment you felt him try to move far away, your arms grabbed onto his bicep.

"Yeah... 'Course you can," you'd whispered, the words burning your tongue as they left. Erwin's pools of blue nearly drowned you before he closed his eyes.

"Thank you."

The first time Erwin actually said the L-word, it scared you.

Now the Commander, Erwin Smith's heart was hardened after years and years of horrifying battles. Or so it seemed.

He'd nearly lost you outside of the walls, lost you to the titans. You risked your life to save someone- Erwin couldn't see who- from the 15 meter that charged from the side. Erwin yelled orders, you cried out, and they didn't make it.

You were beyond angry. Outraged at what he had ordered you to do on the battlefield. How were you supposed to leave them? You could've saved them! You should've saved them.

Now you were standing in his office after refusing to sit down. He didn't like your arms being crossed over your chest, but he hated the look on your face more. Erwin didn't want you to be angry at him, but he didn't have a choice.

"Listen-" he started, but you'd cut him off.

"Like how I did when you allowed my comrade to die?" you'd snapped. Erwin clenched his jaw.

"Our comrade," he corrected, placing his hands on his desk.

"I could've helped them," you growled.

"You put yourself in danger-"

"We all do! All of the Scouts know what they signed up for so why didn't you let me do that?" You were raising your voice at him, too angry to notice that he didn't reprimand you for it.

"Because I-"

"What? Because you thought they were nothing more than a pawn in your games? Because-" Erwin slammed his hands on his desk, the loud bang! shutting you up.

"Because I love you!" He yelled, his eyes set aflame. "I can lose one of my soldiers, I can lose myself, but I can't lose you!"

The silence that followed was deafening.

The anger you felt before was nothing compared to the emotions that overwhelmed you now.

Erwin sunk into his seat, holding his head in his hands. "I know... I know you signed up for the Scouts, and not for my possessiveness. And I know that it isn't fair to hold you back. It isn't fair to feel this way but I... I j-just-"

Your hand softly stroking his made the man crumble into a state of vulnerability.

After that day, Erwin said the L-word to you as often as he could.

He said it in a gravelly voice early in the morning. His hand brushed the hair from your face before giving you a gentle kiss.

He said it as an apology quite often when he worked too late. He would feel like melting every time you accepted it with open arms.

He said it as a greeting when you stepped into his office. The blush that spread like wildfire over your face made him chuckle.

He said it as a thank you when you gave him a massage after a long day. You then found out that he has ticklish collarbones.

He said it over your shoulder when you'd looked in the mirror for a little too long. His lips caressed your cheek while he spent the next hour listing everything he cherished about you.

Now, he said it in a letter. A letter so elegantly written with obsidian ink etched onto crisp white paper. He said it in the most Erwin way possible. He said it after forbidding you to go on the same expedition as him.

After the letter, he could never say it again. After the expedition, he could never be again.

For the first time, you said those three words. You screamed it and you cried and you begged, hoping that he could hear you. Hear you, and say I love you back.

This is so cool-

new ask game idea.

let everyone come into your inbox and give you a character that they ship you with and then you describe the dynamic of what the relationship would be like (enemies to lovers, fwb, etc.)

I'm going to cry 💔

I was working on a huge one-shot. I'm talking over 800 words, bros. And I was stupid enough to not put it in Google Docs first BEFORE slapping it into Tumblr drafts. So what happens?? TUMBLR GLITCHES OUT OF NO WHERE AND ALL MY WORK IS GONE. THAT'S WHAT HAPPENS.

So, kindly excuse me while I go scream into a pillow 😃

Waking Up With Ukai

includes: ukai, y/n

warnings: PG-13 (?), suggestive content, but nothing explicitly stated. minors dni

length: 1,220 words

summary: you wanted to kill him, but you had a better, more legal, plan.

A/N: Dear God, spare me- Never in my life have I written anything like this, and it's not even much. As always, any constructive criticism is more than welcomed!

A short-lived yawn left your lips as you made yourself two cups of coffee, one for yourself and the other for your boyfriend. It was early in the morning, far too early to be conscious on a Saturday. Much like yourself, a few birds were just beginning to wake; you heard them through the thin walls of your shared home. The reason you were awake right now? Ukai has an online meeting with the volleyball team and apparently, it would kill him to get ready quietly.

The volleyball boys were nice kids, on the inside at least. You were the assistant coach, and the high schoolers had quickly learned to feel comfortable around you. You often joked around with Tanaka and Hinata, playfully picking on them about either their haircut or height. Sugawara and Daichi had a special place in your heart, Asahi’s sweet personality safely nestled there as well. How could someone that large seem so timid? You and Nishinoya agreed that it was amusing. You even gave Kiyoko and Yachi advice on clothing and complemented their makeup from time to time.

You thought the real character was Tsukishima. Once after practice, you overheard Kageyama chuckling at the middle blocker as Tsukki desperately tried to figure out a way to ask Yamaguchi something.

“It’s the emotional constipation for me,” Kageyama snickered. He learned the phrase from Sugawara, something Daichi wasn’t too approving of.

“You’re one to talk, your highness.” Again with the nickname. "When’s the last time you have hopped off your high horse to do something productive for once, instead of ordering us peasants to do it for you?” Tsukishima’s remark made Kageyama growl in agitation, but Ennoshita had threatened them with extra receives after practice to shut them up. The last thing he wanted was Daichi getting involved and all of them suffering.

You later found out by Tsukishima himself that he didn’t know how to ask Yams to stay the night at his place and watch Jurassic Park and listen to him spew facts about the dinosaurs in the film. Sure, the high schooler was rather stand-offish about asking, even giving a few of his infamous backhanded compliments. He said something about how you should know a thing or two because you somehow managed to score their coach.

Ah, right. You had almost forgotten.

You grabbed the two cups of coffee and set them on the kitchen island, fixing yours the way you liked it. You thought about drinking both coffees and leaving Ukai with nothing in means of petty payback for waking you up so early. You were quick to abandon the idea, a grin tugging at your lips as you made Ukai’s how he favored it.

You had a rather enticing dream about your lover before your sleep was disturbed by the man himself. The fleeting memories of it were still fresh in your mind. You had to bite your lip to calm yourself down. It was far too damn early. At least, that’s the excuse you stuck with as you made your way to his small office with the mugs in hand.

Your foot gently tapped against the wooden door frame as a way of letting Ukai know you were coming in before using your shoulder to push open the cracked door. As your eyes briefly adjusted to the room’s light, you caught him mid-stretch, simply waiting for his team to join a Zoom call. He had taken his piercings out, the glint of metal drawing your eyes to the earrings next to his computer. It made you smile softly. You admired how he tried to make himself presentable for the boys.

Yet as he dropped his head back, your smile faded ever so slightly. His white tank top, which was underneath an unzipped Karasuno sports jacket, had ridden up his lean torso. It almost seemed to be proudly showing off his sharp V-line and defined abs as you caught yourself staring. You swallowed thickly as he sighed, your dirty little dream coming back to the forefront of your mind before Ukai grabbed your attention once more by rolling his shoulder with a grumble.

Chocolate brown eyes glanced at your face before darting to the mugs in your hands. He waved you over with a grin. “Good morning, doll face,” he purred, his morning voice just now fading away.

“Good morning?” you questioned playfully. “Kei, it’s too early to be alive right now.” He liked the nickname, despite him pretending not to.

“I agree with the pretty one,” a tired voice sounded from the speakers of Ukai’s laptop, slightly startling you. “Coach, why so early?” It was Suga, his silver hair a tumbled mess as he just now attempted to fix it with his fingers.

“Sugawara,” Daichi’s slightly stern voice came next, lecturing his fellow third-year already. “That is not how you should talk about our assistant coach.”

You chuckled under your breath as you set his coffee down and blew on yours softly to cool it down. It was a bit entertaining to listen to their antics.

As everyone filed in, Takeda excluded because of a small family issue, you moved from the camera’s line of sight. Leaning against a wall off to the side, you listened in and enjoyed your drink. Keishin sighed softly as he rubbed the back of his neck in thought, a habit you had noticed a while ago.

“Kageyama and Little Red have practice with my old man later today. This was the only time all of our schedules lined up.” He paused, and you saw his face contort into confusion as stifled chuckles sound from the device. “Nishinoya, is that a gun made of Monster cans?”

The teen seemed to chuckle proudly as Ukai shook his head while Tanaka complemented the color scheme. “The last thing you need is more energy,” Ukai muttered as Hinata gasped, fawning over how cool it was. “Focus,” He said sternly. Sugawara’s apology was the only noise on the call after that.

Ukai started explaining various details about future practice matches with Nekoma and Date Tech before prelims came along and drills they would test out during them. As much as you loved the sport, the mainly one-sided conversation was quick to get boring.

And so you hatched an idea.

Ukai’s eyes darted over to you for only a split second as you grinned wickedly, moving to set your cup out of the way. Ukai expected you to leave and go back to sleep, but something else was on your mind. Staying in the room, you shut the door. It was loud enough for the volleyball players to hear the noise, but you were in no way slamming it. He ignored you for the time being, and you planned on changing that.

Stalking back over to the desk silently, you stayed out of the camera’s view. As you stood directly behind his laptop, you winked at him. Your eyes darted to his lips as his tongue glazed over them. He realized what you were planning to do rather quickly, and he wasn’t objecting.

He enjoyed the fan service of you stripping your shirt for him, only slightly disappointed he had to see it out of his peripheral vision. There was a chance Ukai would get fired if you were caught, so you kept quiet while you sank to your knees.

Oh, this would be fun.

Thanks for the tag!!

not me having a total of 590 songs- n e wayz

1. Line Without a Hook by Ricky Montgomery

2. Baby Hotline by Jack Stauber

3. Talk to Me by Cavetown

4. Lavender by Penelope Scott

5. Sunday Best by Surfaces

6. Ain't Shit by Doja Cat

7. Bang Bang Bang Bang by Sohodolls

8. Searching by Z by Z

9. KILLSHOT by Eminem

10. Fergalicious by Fergie

Tagging: Anyone who wants to do it!

rules: we’re snooping in your playlist. put your entire music library on shuffle and list the first 10 songs and then choose 10 victims.

tagged by @amethystsoda 💖

ivy by Taylor Swift

Why we build the wall from Hadestown

Lazarus by David Bowie

I’m not okay (I Promise) by My Chemical Romance

Liability by Lorde

Laisse Tomber Les Filles by No Small Children

Extraordinary Girl/Letterbomb by Green Day

Bailo mientras cocino by Vacación

Green, green rocky road by Oscar Isaac

Pynk by Janelle Monae

Well that was all over the place

Tagging @dongiovannaswife @giogio-gucci-gangstar @mynameseri @saturnmitsuya

I've never done one of these! Feel free to ask anything friends!

FanFic Ask Game

A: How did you come up with the title to [insert fic]?

B: Any of your stories inspired by personal experience?

C: What character do you identify with most?

D: Is there a song or a playlist to associate with [insert fic]?

E: If you wrote a sequel to [insert fic], what would it be about?

F: Share a snippet from one of your favourite dialogue scenes you've written and explain why you're proud of it.

G: Do you write your story from start to finish, or do you write the scenes out of order?

H: How would you describe your style?

I: Do you have a guilty pleasure in fic (reading or writing)?

J: Write or describe an alternative ending to [insert fic].

K: What's the angstiest idea you've ever come up with?

L: How many times do you usually revise your fic/chapter before posting?

M: Got any premises on the back burner that you'd care to share?

N: Is there a fic you wish someone else would write (or finish) for you?

O: How do you begin a story—with the plot, or the characters?

P: Are you what George R. R. Martin would call an "architect" or a "gardener"? (How much do you plan in advance, versus letting the storu unfold as you go?)

Q: How do you feel about collaborations?

R: Are there any writers (fanfic or otherwise) you consider an influence?

S: Any fandom tropes you can't resist?

T: Any fandom tropes you can't stand?

U: Share three of your favourite fic writers and why you like them so much.

V: If you could write the sequel (or prequel) to any fic out there not written by yourself, which would you choose?

W: Do you like more general prompts, or more specific ones?

X: A character you enjoy making suffer.

Y: A character you want to protect.

Z: Major character death—do you ever write/read it? Is there a character whose death you can't tolerate?

Transcribed from @stylinbreeze60's post.

Feel free to send me a letter(s) (or any question really! xD)