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@lazyezstudy

You're always on queen shit 😩❤️

I swear I'm working on the requests, friends- it just takes a hot minute 😩

Y'know what, fuck this bullshit. I need to know y'all are actually against it.

Reblog this if you will NOT use or support Post+.

I hope to make @staff see how that is total bullshit. Tumblr will die without writers/creators.

Did I listen to Boyfriend by Big Time Rush for an hour while coming up with angsty prompts?

Yes. Yes, I did. And I'd do it again, too.

angst prompt list

"Would you just look at me?"

"I'm not ready to say goodbye."

"I want to hate you, but I can't."

"I wanted to believe you thought about me."

"You don't mean that... Right?"

"I pushed you away because you deserved better."

"Karma's a bitch, isn't she?"

"I'm sick of missing you when you're right here."

"How can you just stand there and pretend this isn't your fault?"

"Tell me I'm wrong. Please, say it."

"You're hurting me."

"Don't you see that I'm trying?"

"Were you ever going to tell me?"

"Don't call me again."

"Pack your stuff and leave."

"Why weren't you there?"

"You're scaring me."

"Where did all these bruises come from?"

"How much of that did you hear?"

"What keeps you up at night?"

"But you promised."

"I don't want your apology."

"You can't leave me- not now."

"You'd better put that down."

"You have to believe me!"

"You mean everything to me."

"You meant nothing to me."

"It wasn't supposed to end like this."

"Admit that you're wrong!"

"Do you ever stop talking?"

"What are you doing?"

"I couldn't save them."

"Why did you even bother?"

"Don't you care?"

"You aren't worth it."

"Are you really that stupid?"

"I thought I could trust you."

"Just stay with me."

"Who are you again?"

"I miss you."

"Are you listening?"

"You're not safe here."

"I didn't think it would hurt this bad."

"You said we'd grow old together."

"It's suffocating, isn't it?"

"It's... cold."

"Is it lonely?"

"I'm scared of losing you."

"Don't touch me."

"You've changed."

thank you

g u y s

My Sweet Confessions writing has over 100 notes and I just-

THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH

You are all devine beings- have a gold star ⭐❤️

Thanks for giving me a chance ❤

sweet confessions

includes: aizawa, y/n

warnings: mentions of nightmares

length: 1,986 words

summary: with neither of you able to sleep, trapped words are finally allowed to slip like melted butter.

Four in the morning was not the time to be up, especially on a work night. Well, a workday at this point. You should be in bed, surrounded by the fluffiest, warmest blankets on the softest mattress you could afford.

And yet? Here you were in the bathroom, washing your face with warm water, for what was the third time in a row. It was as if you were trying to slowly drown yourself. A yawn left your lips, strong enough to rock your body with violent yet satisfying shudders. You cursed your insomnia. You knew you were tired, so why couldn’t you fall asleep?

Something clattered in the kitchen, a hushed swear which broke the stillness of the shared apartment soon followed.

Was he up, too?

Your face heated up at the thought of your roommate. There had always been a spark between the two of you, but both of you dodged any confrontation. It was like fate danced you both around each other, curious to see who would take charge. Who would finally end this little game of cat and mouse? You didn’t think you had enough confidence to be the one to put a stop to the games you were playing and admit how hard you’ve fallen for him.

However, as life tugs you both along, curious things unfold.

You cracked open the bathroom door to peep out, holding your breath in case he was just outside. This was new to you, as Aizawa was typically asleep for as long as he could be. His record is 19 hours straight after a hard mission. Your record was nine hours, and you were damn proud of yourself for it, too.

You carefully stepped out after turning off the light, trying to creep back to your bedroom without getting caught. It’s not like you wanted to avoid Aizawa, you just didn’t want him to catch you up this late again. Though as soon as you took your first step out into the hallway, he spoke, the words making you freeze like a deer in headlights.

“What are you doing awake at this hour?” You swallowed around the lump in your throat as you stood straight.

“I thought you didn’t know I was up,” you said with a grin, but Aizawa could see how tired you were.

“I’m a pro-hero,” he hummed, a coffee mug warming his hands. “It’s almost insulting that you thought I didn’t notice you. Now, why are you up?”

“I could ask you the same thing, Mr. Pro-hero,” you retorted, earning a worn chuckle. The distant look in his eyes told you everything you needed to know to understand why he was awake as well.

Nightmares.

You knew all too well that Aizawa’s night terrors were a force to be reckoned with. On some nights he even woke up screaming or falling out of bed. Aizawa’s dreams were the only thing that could get such a strong reaction from him.

“Drinking coffee this late can’t be good for you,” you said, changing the subject rather quickly while you headed into the kitchen with your roommate. “Doesn’t a hero with your status need to stay healthy?”

“It’ll keep me up,” he murmured with a strange sort of solemnness infecting his tone.

You couldn’t stop the empathetic look from tainting your face even if you wanted to. You hated nothing more than watching as the hero business ate away at your best friend.

“Hey.” His voice took you from your thoughts. “We’re already up this late, and I doubt either of us will sleep soon, so. . .” Aizawa trailed off as you looked up at him. “So, come sit on the roof with me. Only for a bit.”

Your jaw nearly dropped to the floor before you caught yourself and nodded. You hoped that you didn’t look too head over heels for him, but little to your knowledge, Aizawa found your reaction cute.

“Sure, alright,” you said with a small smile, trying to sound nonchalant. You didn’t, but Aizawa didn’t comment on it, sparing your pride. “Ah, wait, let me grab a hoodie-”

“Don’t bother,” he said, just loud enough for you to hear him.

A smirk tainted your lips as you crossed your arms over your chest and accusingly leaned towards him.

“Oh, so you want me to freeze? That isn’t very heroic, mister.” The way you raised your eyebrows got him to spill a chuckle.

“I do not. You can just wear mine."

Leaving the conversation at that, he turned away before you ever saw the pink hue that dusted his face. It took you a second to let his words process before you were following after him like a lost puppy.

It's not a big deal. He's just being friendly and giving, as always. That's the lie you've always told yourself.

“How do we get up on the roof?" You asked as he led you on the small back porch.

Your small smile dropped entirely as he jumped and grabbed the edge of the roof, pulling himself up with practiced ease.

"All right, asshole, not everyone is a pro-hero, so-" You cut yourself off as soft cloth suddenly wrapped around you, acting as a safety harness.

He lifted you to the roof without breaking a sweat. And to be honest, that boosted your confidence by a few points.

"Such foul language doesn't belong in a pretty mouth like yours," Aizawa murmured, his calloused hands carefully pulling his scarf off of your shoulders. He left the cloth on your waist for you to take care of, as he didn't want to overstep any boundaries.

The scarf was the furthest thing from your mind as you hoped the dark sky hid your heavy blush.

He said I was… Pretty. Aizawa… called me pretty.

"You, um…" You tried to start a conversation to distract Aizawa from the fact you weren't removing his scarf. "You got up here stupidly fast. Do you do this often?"

He didn't comment on the matter of his scarf, silently using it to justify why he was sitting this close to you.

"I'm a stealth hero. I'm always jumping rooftop to rooftop," he reasoned, heavy eyes taking in the ever so familiar landscape.

"That's not what I asked," you prodded gently. "Do you come up here often, this late at night?"

You wanted him to trust you, to tell you what was obviously plaguing his thoughts or what had scared him sleepless this time. You were well aware trust wasn't given easily, especially for someone like him. Someone who's been hurt time and time again.

His jaw shifted, and you were too concerned about his mental health to think of how handsome he was with his sharp features.

"Sometimes. When the dreams aren't incredibly terrible," he muttered after a thick swallow.

You hummed to let him know that you understood, your body shifting a minuscule closer to his warmth. He noticed, and without a word pulled his hoodie over his head. You two were sitting so close that you needed to lean to the side to avoid getting elbowed.

"Hey, what are you-"

He smiled gently as he set the article in your lap, and the sight alone shut you up. He was gorgeous, basking in the never-sleeping city lights.

"Didn’t I tell you? You can wear my jacket if you're cold."

Be still your beating heart, because if it didn’t soon, you were sure he'd think someone was knocking at the door with how loud it was pounding against your ribs.

With a painfully flustered chuckle to fill the silence, you put it on. And, God, you'd be content dying surrounded by his scent of heavy rain and the forest. A small thank you filtered off your tongue. Using the visual excuse of adjusting how it pooled at your hips, you shifted ever closer.

"You know-"

"Sometimes-"

You had both gone to speak at the same time, earning a soft giggle from you and a deep chuckle from him.

"You go first," you offered with a gentle smile.

"Only if you go after, no matter what," he playfully demanded.

As you agreed, you watched his eyes lingered on you, something indescribable dancing behind the walls of charcoal. With a deep breath, he faced the horizon.

"Sometimes when I drive, I'll turn on the radio. Just to have some background noise. I don't pay attention to it, though, because most of the music is shit," Aizawa started, something in his chest swelling as you chuckled at him. "But then, when I was sitting in the UA teacher's parking lot, something hit me as I listened to a sappy song."

"What? That you're getting old?" You teased, trying to break some of the tension in his shoulders.

"I realized that all of a sudden, every love song was about you."

Your soft gasp sounded like a nuclear bomb to him and he screwed his eyes shut. He knew he should've stayed in bed.

"I..." Aizawa moved to stand. "I should go back to sleep," he finished rather quickly.

Your nibble fingers gripped his pants leg and he froze entirely, like a child who’d been caught eating candy past midnight.

"Hey… What happened to our little deal?" Your caring tone caused him to hesitate. "Please, Shouta, won't you hear what I have to say?"

Shouta. How pretty it sounded rolling off your tongue.

He swayed in the morning breeze, the very beginning of a sunrise highlighting his dark features. And then he sat, avoiding looking at you at all costs.

"As I was going to say before I was thankfully interrupted," you began, adjusting the sleeves of your (his) jacket. You took a deep breath, hyping yourself up to finally fess up as he did. "You know when you look at a kitten, you think of Shinsou? Or when you see candy apples, you think of Eri?" You asked, earning a stiff nod.

"Everything has started reminding me of you. From sleep bags to your favorite dark chocolates, and baggy clothes like the ones you rarely allow me to borrow, or a coffee mug you'd like. You're always running through my mind," you took a breath, needing to get some air after your fast-paced rant.

You both sat in heavy silence, the dew in the grass glinting from the rays of marigold that poured over the horizon.

"Can I do something stupid?" He asked quietly, shifting in his spot.

" 'Course. It's about time we swapped roles," you humored.

Smokey-colored eyes bored into yours as he faced you, Adam's apple bobbing as he gulped. You'd never seen him so… beautifully revealing.

Suddenly you were surrounded by warmth, Aizawa no longer looking at you. He hugged you so desperately, it was as if he thought you'd leave him. He scruff tickled your neck as he nuzzled into you, but you couldn't care less.

The way you didn't need to think twice about returning the hug made him smile against your skin. You both sat there on the roof, basking in rays of fresh morning sunlight, never letting go of each other.

"It was about losing you," Aizawa breathed, breaking the blissful silence. "My nightmare… In it, I had lost you forever."

You closed your eyes, one hand tenderly massaging his scalp with the other held him closer to you. "I'm right here, Shouta. I'm not going anywhere," you reassured, feeling his breathing pattern calm. "You know that, don't you?"

"Yeah…" He whispered, voice heavy with sleep and concern.

"Let's get back to bed, okay?" You murmured, feeling the weight of your feelings change from suffocating to soaring.

"Not yet. Please… I just wanna stay with you." Aizawa pulled you impossibly closer and you smiled.

"Whatever you wish, but don't blame me when you're sore tomorrow." You felt him chuckle as his eyes drooped shut.

" 'm always sore anyways."

No thoughts, just calming your comfort character down from a bad nightmare.

"Hey- Hey, woah. Calm down, it's okay. Just breathe for me, yeah? You're okay. We're okay."

Making sure they're breathing properly before cuddling with them, letting 'em feel your heartbeat to know you're okay. To know that's it's all okay.

And them listening to you fall back to sleep, making 100% sure you both are safe before they truly relax and lull to a (finally) peaceful slumber.

fluff prompt list

"Quit stealing all the pillows!"

"You want a bite?"

"Give me a second and I'll show you."

"What should we name it?"

"You're a dork."

"Why are your feet so cold?"

"Stop that, I'm ticklish!"

"Your hands are so warm!"

"You smell really nice."

"Your hair is so soft."

"You're my new pillow."

"Turn around, I'm giving you a massage."

"I think I love you."

"Can I kiss you?"

"Hold my hand."

"It's not morning yet."

"Stay a little longer?"

"You're so perfect."

"I'll always be here for you."

"You were right all along."

"Take my coat, it's cold out here."

"You've got some flour on your cheek."

"You could just put your feet in my lap, you know."

"I wouldn't change a thing about you."

"Shut up and kiss me."

"We could try cuddling."

"Stop being so cute."

"Are you okay?"

"Our relationship is the most important thing in my life."

"You can sleep, I'll keep you safe."

"Don't worry, I'll take care of everything."

"It wasn't your fault."

"What's wrong?"

"I'm not going anywhere."

"Oh! You're jealous!"

"Can we stay like this forever?"

"I missed you so much."

"Give me attention."

"When I'm with you, I'm home."

"Is that my shirt?"

"This is new."

"Would you just hold still?"

"You're family."

"They didn't deserve you."

"Rumor has it, I make you nervous."

"Are you flirting with me?"

"You seem all tough, but I know it's all an act. You're a softie."

"Funny, coming from you."

"Really? Right now?"

"Let's go somewhere- anywhere!" Heavily inspired by @merakiaes so go look at their page- they're amazing!

A very happy and well-deserved birthday to Marco (Freckled Jesus) Bolt

Typically

This makes many references to No Regrets (an insight on Levi before he enrolled in the Scouts.) I also tried a new writing style, so please, give me feedback!

includes: Erwin, Levi

warnings: alcoholic themes, depression, PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder), mentions of suicidal thoughts/actions

length: 2,028 words

•°•°•°•

Erwin Smith was typically content in his mattress by 10:30, praying to whatever gods that may (or may not) be out there that his slumber would be blissful and refreshing. He typically knew of his subordinates' locations and their relative mental states this late into any given night. He typically had most of his paperwork signed and stacked into a neat, organized pile.

Though tonight, as trepidation rolled over him in slow, progressing waves, Erwin Smith was neither content nor situated in a well-put-together office. He did not know where the Captain was or when the elusive man would return. He did not know beforehand that multiple contracts would need the Captain's signature. Hell, Erwin did not know if Levi could even write in cursive. At the moment, he did not know a lot of things.

Erwin wasn't exactly enthusiastic about experiencing these feelings of troubling uncertainty.

The dense thud of staggering boots on the half-rotted wooden flooring impeded Erwin's vexing thoughts. Moving from his spot by the window that overlooked the training grounds, he hastily stalked towards his office door. Yet as his fingertips were mere inches from the handle, the door slammed open, catching the Commander off guard.

Erwin back-stepped as no one other than Levi himself lost his footing from kicking the door open. The door frame was the only thing that aided Levi's attempt at steadying his balance; Erwin was far too focused on darting his bewildered eyes over Levi's condition.

Was the blunt and foul-mouthed Levi Ackerman. . . Drunk?

No, that couldn't be right. The man despised everything about alcohol: the lasting effects, the heavy smell, the noxious health problems. Every time the Corps tried to get Levi to drink, he had remarked about booze being nothing more than poison marketed as a miracle tonic. But, what else could explain the unfocused eyes that were typically sharp and observant or the swaying small frame that was typically nimble and composed?

"Have you been drinking, Levi? You look terrible."

The vicious scowl Erwin received told him that the way he worded his concern was extremely misinterpreted.

"Oh, fuck you, jackass. Not everyone can look like a shining star, Smith." Levi's words were unnaturally slurred, further proving what Erwin refused to accept. "Get outta my way and let me in."

Erwin cautiously stepped to the side- as he'd rather keep this peculiar sight to himself and spare the Captain's dignity. Levi's shoulder shoved against Erwin's bicep as he stumbled into the Commander's office. A snarl remarking Erwin's height was woven into the tense atmosphere of the room.

"Where have you been?" Erwin asked as he gently shut the door, keeping an apprehensive gaze on Levi.

He simply received a distracted scoff. Erwin took a deep breath before he huffed out of his nose. He watched as Levi fumbled through various unlocked drawers in search of who-knows-what.

"Levi-"

"Where's your Devil's water, Smith?" Erwin narrowed his eyes in confusion before Levi, belligerently, elaborated. "Your liquor, dip-shit. Where have you stashed it?"

Erwin pressed his lips into a thin line before he offered a calculated answer, "I don't hide alcohol in my office." A spiteful string of obscenities left Levi's swollen lips, the drunk balling his fist tight by his sides. "Liar! You're a filthy deceiver, you know that? You're worth less than the shit in the stables! A sleaze bag from the Underground would be more helpful than you!"

Erwin paused, studying Levi like Hange would study a Titan. "Are you okay, Levi?" He knew the question was redundant the moment the words left his lips.

“Fuck!” Levi yelled, tugging on his already loose cravat. “Am I okay? What kind of bullshit question is that? Hell, my uncle used to tell me that life’s like a toilet paper roll; you’re either on a roll or taking shit from some asshole- and you know what? You’re that asshole, Smith!”

"Be careful of the open window, Levi," Erwin warned, as polished and unwavering as ever. His indifference to the slew of insults and profanities made Levi's blood boil.

Erwin only moved closer when the Captain disregarded his warning and continued to near the dangerously open casement. Erwin tuned out the vulgarities that were continuously hurled at him with an intense enmity, the gears clicking together in his head.

There was a chance Levi's destination was through the window- a chance Erwin was not willing to take.

"What are you doing? You're going to fall out," Erwin said more forcefully.

The change in the Commander's tone didn't seem to phase Levi, who was resting his forearms on the window sill. As Levi's weight shifted to his unstable upper body, Erwin could feel his heartbeat pounding in his throat, temples, fingertips- everywhere except his chest.

Levi went quiet, his drunken tantrum utterly forgotten as childlike wonder filled his eyes. In the moment of calm after the storm, Erwin couldn't fail to notice that Levi looked so much younger when he wasn't so pent up. The Captain was significantly more demonstrative when he was intoxicated; and may it be good or bad, Erwin was content with Levi seeming mortal.

"He used to hate heights, and she smoked him for it," Levi broke the moment of silence with hardly a whisper. "It was all a game to her."

Erwin's features, which were glazed over with faux insouciant, didn't match the curious gaze he studied Levi with. He stood inert, fearful of scaring Levi into a diligent silence or another aggressive episode. Erwin didn't ask for extensive details, nor did he implore Levi to move away from the window again. He simply waited, having an idea of what was plaguing his inebriated soldier's mind.

"You know, when you found me, we were heading to get a job done," Levi spoke so softly that Erwin felt the need to hold his breath to hear him properly.

The Commander took Levi's brief pause as an opening to speak, despite having nothing to say. "Is that so?"

Levi exhaled something grim; something that nearly sounded like an empty chuckle. "Yeah, Smith, it is."

Levi ignored how Erwin wearily moved closer as he adjusted himself further out of the window. The Captain relished in a twisted feeling of pride knowing that he could make his superior jump to aid him, that he could make the man twitch with such a deep sense of uneasiness- so much so that it shone in his perceptive blue eyes.

"Levi, get away from-"

"He was so nervous for the mission, despite it being so. . . " Levi swayed his hand through the night air, searching for the right word after cutting Erwin, and his concerns, off. "So pointless," is what he settled for.

"It was just a run-through," he huffed out a sigh, "check the brothel for any kids, start trouble if there were. Then, haul ass to the surface to get the brats to somewhere safer. Simple, right?"

Erwin swallowed, his gaze settling on Levi's reflection in the mirror.

"But, something always has to fuck me over," Levi spat with a clenched jaw, capturing the window sill in an iron grip. "Isn't that right?! You simply adore dancing all of your puppets around until they can't take it anymore- but you don't stop, do you?!" Levi screamed at the full moon in the sky.

Erwin sharply exhaled through his nose, Levi swaying side to side like empty ODM gear in the breeze. Levi swore and stretched his fingers out to relieve the tension in them.

"I bumped into a guy whose ego was as big as his body. The bastard was huge and wouldn't let it go." Levi hung his head, the stars bringing back memories he'd rather forget. "I think you were there when we had settled the issue and took off."

Erwin remembers like it happened yesterday. He could never forget the first time he saw Levi fly on the Wings of Revolution; it was enchanting.

Levi outstretched his arm, one foot leaving the floor as he reached to the giant moon glowing against the night sky.

"Levi, you need to stop being heedless, or you'll fall and end up dead!" Erwin finally snapped, his hand darting to grab Levi's. He missed his target, the shorter one moving unexpectedly and making Erwin snatch his pale forearm.

The wind from the chill night ruffled the forgotten paperwork on Erwin's desk, Levi's eerily hollow chuckle overlaying the white noise. Empty steel-gray finally looked into Erwin's ocean blues, heavy-lidded and worn thin.

"Don't you know I'm stupid? The hell does 'heedless' mean, blondie?" Levi wore a painful grin.

Erwin furrowed his brow in worry, loosening his grip but not letting go. "Careless," he said gently, thumbing fondly at Levi's flushed skin. "It means. . . Careless."

Levi's bottom lip trembled, and Erwin swore he saw his small body twitch with a hiccup. "Maybe that's what I want, Commander- to end up dead," Levi breathed, sending a cold surge through Erwin.

"Hey, don't say that," Erwin said quickly in a hushed tone. His free hand gently cupped Levi's shoulder.

"Why not?" Levi's voice was so small. It scared Erwin. "Every time I shut my eyes at night, all I see is their faces, hear them call my name." Erwin could feel Levi trembling.

"I know, Levi. By the walls, I know how it feels to begin to go numb. How it is to lose everything close to you, and still need to press onwards," Erwin murmured.

"Oh, sure. You see the face of every comrade that you've sent to death in your dreams. I'm sure you remember each and every soldier." The sarcastic bite in Levi's tone made Erwin unhand the man's arm.

"Excuse me. . ?" Erwin breathed, stupidly hoping he had misheard Levi.

"You don't know how it feels to be looked at like a human shit stain for simply trying to survive! You're just Mr. Fucking Perfect, right?" Levi's fruitless attempt to push Erwin away by his chest only agitated the blonde.

"Another pompous asshole that wouldn't hesitate to judge me from getting on all fours back then just to be able to eat twice a week!" Levi's (false) accusations were making Erwin increasingly angry.

"You're no different than everyone in the Capital-"

"You'd better watch your mouth, Ackerman."

Levi sucked in a short breath so quickly, it made his throat dry up; though, that might've been caused by the snarl of his surname. He didn't get another chance to speak as Erwin loomed over his frame.

"Who gave you an escape route when you had nowhere else to turn? Was it the Capital? Who was it that believed in you when everyone else wanted you to hang? The Capital, perhaps? Apologies, my memory is hazy."

Levi had seen Erwin agitated, seen him berate cadets and superiors alike with no backlash. But the man was always so poised and assured. Sure, the unsettlingly strong fire behind his crystal eyes was never smothered, but it was not once openly expressed.

Until now.

It had Levi- the nephew of Kenny the Ripper, the Captain of the 104th Cadet Corp, Humanity's Strongest Soldier- intimidated enough to shrink in on himself.

"I don't mean to scare you, Levi. I truly don't. But when you have the audacity to lump me into the crowd of discriminatory pedophiles and rapists? After everything I have done for you?" Erwin scoffed, ending his rant.

"I-I... I'm-"

"I don't want you to apologize. It's difficult to believe that you would. It's just not like you," Erwin swallowed thickly as Levi sniffled.

"Levi, I-" Erwin cut himself off, clenching his jaw.

Want you. Need you.

I think I'm in love with you. What a dream it would be to say. But he shouldn't. And he won't.

"You should sober up here while I get work done. How does that sound?" Erwin felt the urge to vomit after those words burned off his tongue.

"Thank you," Levi hardly whispered. "Thank you, Erwin."

Closing his eyes tightly, Erwin nodded, leading Levi to the couch the was sitting against the sidewall.

"Of course, Levi. I would do anything for you."

Happy Pride Month fellow queers!

Remember to be safe and have fun!

It is currently four in the morning and I have finally finished the Attack On Titan manga. I am distraught.

My version of a gender bent Eruri ig- You can make a character of your own here:

https://picrew.me/image_maker/114808

Also I swear I'm almost done with a story 😃

Most People

⥏⬼⤗⥑ ⥏⬼⤗⥑ ⥏⬼⤗⥑ ⥏⬼⤗⥑ ⥏⬼⤗⥑

when a tsunami hits, most people are rushed out of any dangerous areas with great urgency. feeling the murky water trickle against their jaw, they let go of the prison bars in bitter resentment.

most people.

⥏⬼⤗⥑ ⥏⬼⤗⥑

Happy birthday to this absolute grimlin 👹👌

Journal

This did not at all go where I thought it would, but it’s here. This is my first X Reader I’ve done so if you have some input, it would be greatly appreciated-

includes: Levi, Y/N

warnings: Mentions of dark thoughts

length: 2,535 words

"Cadet!" 

You were quick to glance over your shoulder, wondering how you've messed up this time. You were just about to leave the mess hall, so you were probably going to be scolded for being the last one out, or for not eating again. Levi always snapped about how he needs you at your best.

"You forgot this," the captain said, his stoney blue eyes narrowing as yours widened, "Or did you leave it on purpose?"

It was your journal, the one you were always buried in whenever you could be. You did leave it on purpose, hoping someone would find it and save you from yourself. Hoping that someone would notice all of the changes in your behavior, hoping someone would hear your silent screams. Yet, seeing that it was Levi fucking Ackerman who returned the journal? You wished you had kept suffering alone.

"And it has so many…" Levi hesitated, almost like he was trying to find the right words to string together. "So many horrific thoughts written inside of it."

You could practically feel how serious he was while he gripped your prized possession just a bit tighter. You couldn't handle the growing silence, so you broke it.

"I should know. It's mine, after all." He didn't find your joke very funny. 

Levi opened his mouth, picking his next words carefully, "What's going on with you? You haven't been yourself recently."

You mentally swore, fingers twitching at your side. Levi didn't fail to notice, making his abnormal concern grow.

"What do you mean, Captain? I'm perfectly fine." As much as you wished the forced chuckle in your voice would change his way of thinking, it didn't.

"I'm more than certain something is happening with you," his voice grew more pointed as he stared at you, "There's no point in trying to hide it. Just spit it out."

"Why would you even bother asking?" Your muttered question left your lips before you could stop it.

"I want to know because I care about you. That's something a lot of people can't say, so don't go off wasting my support," Levi's tone didn't change and you sucked in a much needed breath. 

You wearily watched him place the journal on one of the long tables in the room, the soft thud reminding you of how many hours have gone into fruitless attempts of venting out your pain.

"Stop being stubborn and tell me what's going on, cadet." He inched closer, and you stepped back in response, eyes darting to the table.

"Once again, Jean and Eren left their spots disgusting. Do you want me to clean up, or would you rather chew them out yourself?" You gave a tight smile, forcing yourself to look back at him.

"Don't change the subject," he growled, a strange blaze flaring up in his eyes. Levi noticed how you tensed and he sighed to calm himself. "The things that you wrote in that book," he started, never once looking away from you, "Those were some seriously dark thoughts, and if you honestly do feel that way, you need to talk about it. So, stop trying to be the coldhearted badass and let me know what's running through your mind."

He sounded like a parent trying to convince a child to admit they broke something. It was a bit frightening in all honesty. 

You didn't say anything, teeth digging painfully into your tongue so you would keep quiet. You had just now noticed you'd been staring at the wooden floorboards this whole time, and yet you didn't stop.

Levi noticed that you weren't going to contribute, so he did it himself.

"What are you afraid of? Do you think I'm going to be mad at you?" 

You could've kicked yourself when your panicked chuckle wormed its way into the one-sided conversation. 

"Look at me," he demanded. You didn't listen, a thick gulp being your only reaction. "Cadet, look at me." This time it came out as a snarl, and you obeyed out of pure fear. 

Levi shut his eyes for just a moment, a heavy sigh leaving him as he tried to compose himself again. You both knew that he wasn't great with feelings, but he was trying. 

"I'm not mad at you. You can tell me whatever you're going through and I'll listen. Don't ever be afraid to let someone know how you feel, that is the only way someone can understand you." You had to clench your jaw to keep a snarky remark from making the situation worse. "Stop hiding from people, stop holding on to these emotions, and thinking that by some miracle things are going to work out by keeping silent. Things don't ever work out that way, and it only prolongs the pain. It only gives time for shit to get worse. So, stop being an idiot and just tell me what's going on already." 

"You sound like you're speaking from experience," you muttered after letting his words sink in. 

You didn't get a response, so you let your gaze lower, but not drop completely. Levi waited for you. The Levi Ackerman patiently waited for you to let go of some agony. So you did.

"Sometimes," it was difficult for you to refill your lungs with fresh air, "I get these recurring dreams that make me think about the things I'd kill to forget." A fly could be heard over your quiet voice, but you had spoken, and Levi found it a big step forward.

"I see," he spoke more to himself than anything. "So that's why…" 

His words trailed off as he remembered walking past the cadet sleeping quarters in the ungodly hours of the morning and often hearing whimpers of fear and sleepy pleads for directions on what to do. His eyebrows furrowed slightly.

"You've been having those, too, haven't you?" He paused, knowing damn well that the night terrors weren't anything but a small piece to the puzzle. But it was progress. "It's not uncommon. Everyone gets those nightmares."

You resisted the urge to insist that's the reason why your problems weren't such a big deal.

"Having thoughts about the people that you've lost, the people that you'd cared about," Levi tightened his jaw, taking a deep breath through his nose and not saying anything for a heartbeat. He changed his wording, "You're allowed to feel. You're allowed to grieve and to be angry, to be hurt." It was like he was reading from the list of your emotional insecurities.

It was starting to get painfully tense, so you attempted to redirect the topic of choice.

"That's funny, considering who's speaking. You only seem slightly agitated whenever you hear about the trouble Eren is constantly causing. I'm surprised you don't have grey's, old man," you laughed in spite of yourself, the noise tense and borderline frantic.

"Writing these thoughts in this book," of course he wouldn't budge. The man's like a stone wall, despite his height. "It's probably your way of coping with what’s happened to you." 

You swallowed, glancing away before sucking on your tongue to distract yourself.

"But, you have to be able to talk to someone as well, to be able to hear your problems leave you." Levi didn't say anything after that, quietly observing how you tilted your head up to stop your brimming tears from falling.

He surprised you by taking a seat on the table's bench, a good four or five feet from your journal. "Come here," he said gently, patting his legs, "You look like you need to be held. If you feel comfortable, that is." 

"On your lap?" You asked, chest tightening. You knew all it was going to take was one hug- just one god damned hug- and you'd crumble.

"Yes, on my lap. Come on," Levi couldn't care less about your height or weight, none of it bothering him in the slightest. 

You hesitated, the exit door seeming all too tempting. You didn't leave, though, and it wasn't because Levi would catch you if you were to run, nor that he would only confront you more forcefully in the future. You knew you needed this- that's the whole reason you had left your secrets behind. But, fuck, it was so hard to make yourself sit on his lap.

"There we go." His encouragement nearly ripped you to shreds.

"What are you? Santa Claus?" You mused, eyes burning holes into your lap with how determined you were to look anywhere but. 

"Go on, let it out," Levi pushed you to speak again, this time far more effective.

"Let what out exactly? My Christmas list?" Your voice cracked, heart painfully throbbing.

"Come on, cadet," Levi breathed again, sickeningly gentle eyes looking at you.

"I wish for a cup of hot chocolate with cookies on the side," you forced a twisted smile on your face as burning hot tears started to slip down your cheek. "Maybe at least one good night's rest. O-Or a chance to go back in time." 

You were breaking down, caving in on yourself as you choked on a sob.

"I've got you."

But you weren't alone. The captain was rubbing comforting shapes into your back.

You shook violently, tremors growing worse before you gave in completely. Harsh sobs thrashed your body as you buried your face into Levi's chest, letting every bit of your pain out.

"It's alright," Levi's voice warded off the ringing in your ears. "It's going to be okay. Do you hear me? You're going to be okay."

Promises of betterment and words of comfort soothed you as you soaked his uniform with tears. Tears that you've held in for far too long, tears that represented your suffering.

"You did all you could. Stop blaming yourself for whatever happened or you'll never be able to move forward. If all you keep doing is holding onto the past, you'll stay stuck in this shitty, painful cycle," Levi told you exactly what you needed to hear as he alternated between pats and rubs on your back. 

He took a deep breath, and you heard his heart rate kick up as your crying quieted, though you didn't- couldn't- stop.

"I had two friends who died on the same damn day. People I considered my family- gone, just like that. People I'd just met, people I had just been acquainted with that morning, died later that day, too," he shared his pain, opening castrated wounds all for you. "Sons, daughters, sisters, brothers, fathers, mothers," he listed, voice wavering before he righted himself, holding you closer. "Dead. Gone. And who was in charge? I was." You felt his chest steeply rise and fall as you sniffled. 

"There are things that you'll have to live with, situations you'll be placed in that you'll have to get through." His thumb and index finger captured your chin, forcing you to look at him. "I just want you to remember that you don't have to find a way on your own. You don't have to feel like you need to take all the burden, all the pain, by yourself." 

The hand that was on your back navigated to the Scouts emblem on your jacket, gently thumbing at it. 

"That's why you have us," there was a smile dancing in his voice, though it never quite reached his face. "We can support each other." 

Your tears had calmed down to a few rogue leftovers, and you found yourself ready to slip off of his lap. Levi didn't seem to mind the massive wet stain that bled through his white button-up and onto his peck. Didn't seem to on the outside, but you knew he was a cleaning fanatic.

"My office, my doors, are always open," his tone turned sarcastically bitter, "Unless I have paperwork to fill in, or I'm cleaning up Jaeger's damn mess." He relished the small giggle that left your lips. "If neither of the two are happening, you can always come to me."

He narrowed his eyes at you, lightly flicking your forehead.

"You hear me? Always, cadet." He gently smiled at you. "Not only are my doors open, but my arms are open, too." 

You glanced away to hide the sparkle in your eyes. Your attention returned to the captain, however, when a warm hand found itself on your shoulder.

"I know that feeling of thinking everything is your fault," he swallowed, casting his gaze down before looking back at you. "That feeling of being disappointed in yourself, down in the gutter, beating yourself up and wishing that it was you instead." There was a solemn look in his eyes before he spoke again, "I know that feeling, and I know how it eats you alive." 

Levi pulled you in for another hug, resting his chin on your shoulder as he shuddered in another breath. 

"I also know the feeling of being comforted. Of being reminded that there is a tomorrow, and that things can get better." He gave you a small squeeze before pulling away, both hands on your shoulders now. "That if you make it past today, you can make it past tomorrow, too." 

He allowed you to sit back, and the words he spoke were more than welcomed.

"After everything that you've been through, there is no storm that comes your way that you're not strong enough to face," the proud gleam in his eyes spoke volumes. "And, if you feel like you can't handle it alone, you can face it with me by your side. I'll always be here to brace the storm with you."

Nothing could prepare you for what he said next.

"That is a promise, cadet."

Levi never made promises- not like this. The only thing he's ever promised was to dropkick Eren if he ever went so long without showering again.

"Now breathe," his voice reverted back to that gentle, but commanding tone. He took a deep breath with you, in and out before staring you dead in the eyes. "Everything is going to be okay. It might not be perfect, but we will make it through this. Every battle has an end. Don't go giving up until you find your ending." You felt the grip on your shoulder tighten, his Adam's apple bobbing as he continued, "Please... Hold on for me." 

That left you picking your jaw off the floor before Levi mentioned it, not able to do anything but nod. You, a cadet, had gotten him to say please.

"There is so much to live for in this life," he noticed your doubt before you even said a word. "Let's start living for the people who don't get to, who don't have a choice."

A comforting silence settled into the atmosphere. Levi smiled before standing, mentally double-checking if you were okay. "Oh, and one more thing?" You perked up when he spoke.

"I'll break your fucking legs if you talk about me being soft, cadet."

Ah. There was the Levi you knew.

"Wouldn't dream of it, captain," you said gently, proudly saluting him as he walked towards the back exit.

You would never know, but an extremely proud smile graced his features as he watched you hesitate before throwing the journal away.

Feathers

Haha! So, you know how I promised some Aizawa fluff? That’s still on its way, so have some pain in the meantime. 

includes: Keigo, Tokoyami, Aizawa

warnings: Angst

length: 670 words

Keigo was never taught how to cope with the death of a hero.

He was always told that murdering a villain was justified and that it strengthened heroes. That's what the Hero Commission has drilled into him since the first day of training. How would he know any better?

An exhausted huff rocked Keigo's body while he climbed to his feet. Stepping over a piece of rubble, he looked across the settling battlefield. Most of the fires had been put out, and the rescue squad had just now begun their search, despite starting incredibly slow.

The hero didn't blame them though. He didn’t have the right to. The League's attack happened out of nowhere, so no one was prepared. Though, they could stand to work a bit faster.

Most of his feathers had been lost in the fight, Dabi's flames being the main cause. Some were crushed while moving injured civilians to safety, and a few were scorched by Endeavor’s overzealous attacks. He never did receive an apology, but he cheered up by telling himself the man would say sorry later on. 

Oh! That reminded him- He owed Tokoyami cold Yaki Soba for suddenly dragging him into a massive fight.

Where was Keigo’s little apprentice anyway?

Hawks ignored how he swayed and faltered as he walked up a large pile of rubble. He refused to acknowledge the stream of blood running from a gash on his hairline and over his left eye as well. 

From across the destroyed lot, Aizawa found it ironic that Hawks was perched like a bird. The teacher wanted nothing but to flop over and take a week-long nap, but there was still work to be done. Nothing Aizawa could see from this spot could explain why Hawks had stopped working, that fact holding his attention and making him curious.

What was left of Hawks’ wings suddenly gave a powerful flap, sending him dive-bombing towards whatever he had found below. Aizawa decided to investigate, starting his long journey through the wreckage.

Keigo pushed through how lightheaded he felt as his feet touched down on probably the only solid piece of concrete around. He crouched down, knees to his chest and wings folded against his back.

“Feathers?” Keigo’s voice had a questionable lift to it as he addressed Tokoyami.

The high school student was laying on his stomach, one arm stretched out like he was reaching for something, the other limp at his hip. Keigo noticed a small streak of blood leaking from his intern’s beak. Other than the fact that the kid wasn’t moving, Hawks didn’t see any issues. Not that he could see well with all the blood in his eyes.

“Feathers, get up you lazy ass-” Keigo cut himself off briefly with a chuckle. “Sorry, kid, I meant lazy bones. Forgot to watch my mouth, as always”

There was no reply, not even a movement from the limp body. 

“Look, kid, I’m sorry for swearing. Just get up already,” Keigo grumbled, the hero’s arms wrapping around his knees as he leaned in a bit.

“Hey…” Hawks swallowed around the lump in his throat. “Hey, Feathers. You’re starting to freak me out a bit,” A nervous chuckle left Hawks. One of the only fully intact feathers he had left started nudging the boy. “C’mon, get up.”

As the feather continued to nudge Tokoyami, Keigo noticed that the red he was seeing didn’t all belong to him. Tokoyami was laying in a pool of his blood.

Keigo’s eyes widened, pupils practically turning into slits as he flipped the unresponsive boy onto his back. 

“Th-That’s not right... Hey, kid, what happened?” His voice trembled more than his body as he stared at the gaping hole in Tokoyami’s side. 

It was one of the most gruesome things Keigo has seen, and that’s saying something considering all he’s been through. Streaks of pearly white ribs contrasting against the sea of varying shades of red, clumps of organs unnaturally curved around the large rock buried into his flesh and bone.

“You can’t be dead- Heroes don’t die. They just can’t,” Keigo wore a frantic smile as he shook what was left of the teenager’s right arm. “You gotta get up, Feathers. We won… W-We kicked their asses, so- so wake up.” 

Keigo’s voice cracked as he spoke, shaking arms holding Tokoyami’s mangled body close to his chest. “C’mon, kid,” A broken laugh weighed Keigo’s chest down more than the boy he was holding. “Scold me for cursing, like you always do. Call me immature and then apologize f-for being disrespectful. You gotta..! You got to do something- anything!”

“Hawks,” Aizawa’s voice cut through his panic, the teacher’s voice sharp but shaky.

Keigo didn’t realize how loud he was getting before broken eyes looked up at Aizawa. Hell, Hawks didn’t even realize he was sobbing until he was torn from his trance. 

“Eraser,” Hawks pleaded, shuffling on his knees to be closer to the other, the kid being dragged along. “He’s not dead, right? This is all just another test from the Commission, r-right? Yeah,” A broken laugh tumbled from Keigo’s lips as Aizawa fell to his knees. “Just another test for me to pass. Like- Like always.”

Keigo buried his face into Tokoyami’s hardly intact chest, shaking like a leaf in a wind storm. “You can stop now,” He begged, too caught up in his head to notice how Aizawa gripped his black hair so tight it threatened to rip out of his skull. “You can stop the test, kid.”

 The teacher had lost a student- one of his students. The kid wasn’t even 18 yet. He hasn’t lived- and he would never get the chance to. A scream ripped through Aizawa’s throat, emotional agony swallowing him up until it felt like he couldn’t breathe.

“Please… Make it stop, Feathers.”

Asahi Getting Folded So Hard He Travels Realities

What even is this story I-

includes: Asahi, Ukai, Tadeka, Sugawara, Nishinoya, Daichi, Aone, Class 1-A, Aizawa

warnings: shit post, to be honest. 

length: 1,437 words

A pained and confused noise left the third year’s lips as he sat up, hand gently rubbing his pounding head. The last thing he remembered was Nishinoya doing his signature Rolling Thunder move during a practice match against Date Tech. Kageyama had set it perfectly to Hinata for a simple quick attack, however, Aone blocked it. Asahi remembers seeing the ball rebounding, speeding straight to his face before he blacked out. Now, he was in what was assumed to be a nurse’s office.

Had they remodeled the place? Asahi was never one to be injured often, but he was always walking Noya to the nurse. Today it looked different. Very different.

“He’s up,” An unfamiliar voice muttered, fingers running a stressed hand through long black hair. Who was this? “E-Excuse me?” Asahi gained the stranger’s attention, guarded and analytical eyes darted his way. “Who are you, sir?”

A tired hum was the answer he got before the man sighed. “I was hoping you’d tell me the same thing. What’s your name, kid?”

“Azumane Asahi, sir,” He answered respectfully. He swallowed before glancing around the room. “Where am I?”

“You can call me Mr. Aizawa,” The man seemed to be waiting on someone as his eyes left Asahi only to check down the halls. It was concerning to Asahi that Mr. Aizawa appeared to be on his guard. The man never did answer his question.

“Pardon me for asking, but where is Coach Ukai? O-Or Mr. Takeda?” The high schooler tensed up a bit at Mr. Aizawa gave him a troubled look. 

“Do you know what school you’re in, kid?” Aizawa breathed, but before Asahi could answer, a loud noise came from the door as it was practically kicked open. 

Whoever the kid was, he seemed pissed off. His blonde and spiked up hair reminded Asahi of a pomeranian. 

“Bakugou, come outside with me for a moment,” Aizawa demanded, earning a grumble in protest, but the kid did as told. Asahi tried not to eavesdrop, but he was concerned for his safety. The few words he managed to catch were rather confusing. 

“He’s probably been hit… Type of quirk…” Asahi sat up in the small bed to lean towards the door more. “... Amnesia and confusion… Unknown teachers…”

When they came back in, the boy called Bakugou seemed less angry for whatever reason. His hands were buried into his pockets and his posture was terrible as he scoffed. It reminded Asahi of a feral Tanaka.

“Are you sure you’re a high schooler? You look like a damn pastor,” Bakugou’s insult made Asahi give a pained smile.

The third-year rubbed the back of his neck and chuckled softly glanced towards Mr. Aizawa as he responded, “Yes, I’m sure. I’m a third-year. It’s nice to meet you,” he cut himself off, pausing for a second or two before speaking again, “Bakugou was it?”

“Yeah,” Asahi relaxed at the confirmation. “C’mon, let’s go, man bun. The teach wants to see if I can jog your shitty memory.”

“Language, Bakugou,” Aizawa warned half-heartedly.

Asahi glanced back at the sound. Was he… Climbing into a sleeping bag?

“So, what’s your quirk?” Bakugou sighed, tilting his head up slightly to look at Asahi.

“A quirk?” Asahi asked, confusion dancing in his eyes as Bakugou seemed to grow agitated. “I play volleyball,” He answered uneasily, not knowing what the other meant.

“You remember what they are right? Don’t tell me you’re fucking stupid, too,” The boy growled. He extended his hands, palms flat and facing up as he made sure Asahi was watching. 

Asahi almost jumped out of his skin when little explosions sparked from Bakugou’s palm, the sweet and subtle smell of caramel filling the air. They grew smaller as Bakugou realized that his upperclassman was panicking. 

“What is-” Asahi’s bewildered look worsened when Bakugou suddenly made them stop. “What is that?! How is that even possible? Doesn’t it hurt you?” 

Bakugou groaned softly. He didn’t stop walking, so neither did Asahi. If everyone in this school has powers like that, the last thing Asahi wanted to do was get lost. “No, man bun, it doesn’t hurt. God, you’re more of a dumbass than I thought.”

They reached a classroom door, and Bakugou kicked it open, starting to yell to get the student’s attention, “Listen up assholes, Sensei assigned us this skittish batard to take care of until their memory comes back!”

“Aw, come on Bakugou,” A rather cheery voice sounded. “It’s not manly to insult everyone you see.”

“Shut it, shitty hair,” Bakugou mumbled, waving Asahi inside as he sat down at his desk, kicking his feet up.

“Is it a girl?” The question came from the class, followed by a startled yelp. Asahi couldn’t see what happened, as he didn’t dare to step inside of the chaotic room yet, but he assumed the person was hit. “Ow! Tsu…”

“Are they hot?” Another question came, causing Asahi to cover his face while a flushed shade of pink spread across his face. 

“Denki!” Another voice scolded. “That is no way to talk about a new student!” “Iida is right,” A female voice spoke up. “We need to make them feel welcome and safe.” A quietness settled in the classroom and the only thing Asahi could hear was his heartbeat pounding in his ears. He was still shaken over the tiny bombs Bakugou had made without any pain or struggle. It almost seemed natural to the blonde, actually.

“Are they going to come in?” A monotone voice asked after a few beats of silence.

“Deku, go check on them,” Someone said, a sudden stutter of incoherent words filling the room.

Asahi was greeted by a rather small boy with freckles and green hair. He looked almost as nervous as Asahi felt. “W-Well, come on in,” The boy stuttered out.

Swallowing around the lump in his throat, Asahi mentally hyped himself up as he stepped into the classroom, eyes glued to the floor while he walked in. Whispers started to drown out the silence, someone even asking if Asahi was their new teacher.

Asahi gathered the courage to look up. And his heart stopped. 

Wide eyes frantically glanced around at the strange and terrifying faces. It was like something out of a horror movie.

Was that a tail?! He has six arms! Why are there just clothes sitting there- is someone invisible?! Is she pink?! What even is that person’s bone structure?! The one with strange purple buns is so short! As Asahi felt him start to hyperventilate, he locked eyes with an oversized bird. The bird waved to him and suddenly a dark shadowy figure came from his chest and blinked at Asahi. The third-year grew so lightheaded that he collapsed to the floor and fainted. It was all too much.

A sharp gasp tore through his lungs as he sat up, hearing yelling around him. Dear God, where was he now?! “Man bun- Man bun! Hey, are you with us?” An alarmed yet familiar voice asked. It was coach Ukai. 

Panicked eyes mapped out each recognizable face. He hardly noticed that Tadeka was holding a cloth to his bleeding nose as he gave a break of relief. He was back to the real world.

“Asahi, do you know where you are? What were you doing before you passed out?” Tadeka asked clearly, though his eyes were nervous. 

“I’m in the Karsasuno volleyball gym, sir. I was playing a practice game with Date Tech. I think I was hit in the face?” Asahi answered. 

Everyone around them seemed to relax and feel eased. 

“Give us another scare like that, and I’ll knock you out myself,” Sugawara threatened playfully. Well, Asahi hoped it was playfully. 

“Asahi!” The yell from Noya snagged his attention. The libero was mere seconds from jumping onto the ace, but Daichi had snatched him by the collar. 

“Nishinoya! He does not need you climbing all over him,” The captain scolded, Nishinoya whining in response.

Asahi jumped a bit when there was a tap on his shoulder, and he locked eyes with Aone. The guy was quiet, Adam’s apple bobbing roughly in his throat before he spoke. 

“I am sorry,” Aone said, chest puffed slightly from holding his breath. 

“No, no! It’s okay! I should’ve moved out of the way,” Asahi smiled, gently holding the cloth to his nose for Tadeka.

At least he knew he was home again. But he couldn’t help but shiver as he thought about the shadow demon and the birdman. 

Asahi would go to church on Sunday, and he would drag the rest of the third-years with him.

Silent Scream

I had to repost this because of some issues that I caused, so if you wouldn't mind showing it the same amount of love 😅

includes: Bakugo, Aizawa, Class 1-A, All Might warnings: big boy sad times for everyone length: roughly 512 words- listen it’s currently 4am, don’t come from my throat other: Not the basic title, uhm, chile anyways so- That was the night when he finally understood why people fear silence. Bakugo was a shaking, trembling mess of tears and sweat as he sat curled up in the corner of his dorm room. He couldn’t hear the heavy sobs that racked his body as his fingers gripped his hair tightly, threatening to pull it out.  Mr. Aizawa sat in the common room on the first floor, accompanied by All Might and the other students. The air felt heavy and tense like the slightest movement would cause the entire building to collapse. “Was he hit with a quirk, Sensei?” The question came from Kirishima, tone worried and innocent. Aizawa almost didn’t have the heart to tell them any part of the truth. Midoriya was silent, quieter than the rest of the students as he clung to his journal like a lifeline. He knew. He knew this would eventually happen.  As All Might failed to stop himself from tearing up, Aizawa explained. “Bakugo wasn’t hit by a quirk from someone else. We think he’s gone deaf,” The teacher cut himself off to calm himself down before his eyes watered as well. “We think Bakugo’s explosions were damaging his eardrums every time he used them. Unlike Present Mic, Bakugo’s body doesn’t protect him from his quirk.” Aizawa took a shaky breath, speaking more to himself now as the class let that sink in, “No wonder he was always yelling.” Denki blinked, mouth going dry before he opened it to speak, and yet he never got the chance. A heart twisting scream tore down the stairs and through the hallways, stabbing through each soul the noise reached. Kirishima sobbed, screwing his eyes shut as the sound of pure agony continued to twist into the air, mixed with crying hiccups before it stopped. Sero averted his eyes from everyone while Mina placed her hand on Kiri’s back, her body quivering like a leaf in the wind. Midoriya’s hands nearly tore his notebook in half before Todoroki stopped him by setting a gentle hand on his. Their teacher flinched, and All Might harshly casting his gaze to the floor. “I’ll check on him,” The retired pro hero said softly, only looking at Aizawa when the man had placed a hand on his shoulder.  “Don’t,” He breathed, knowing his student better than anyone. “He’ll think he failed you. Let me go, stay here and comfort the students,” Aizawa whispered to All Might. The former hero could tell that his friend was struggling to hold himself together as well. Bakugo knew he was screaming, he could feel the vibrations in his throat. So why couldn’t he hear anything?! He started panicking in the darkness of his dorm room. They’d kick him from the hero course for sure. Who needs a deaf hero?  The sudden, gentle hand on his knees startled the poor boy so bad that he almost blew up his teacher on reflex. Aizawa was sitting on the floor with him, an easy look on his face. Bakugo wasn’t the best at reading lips, but he understood what Aizawa mouthed to him. It will be okay. Just breathe.

Happy Birthday Deadchi!

Free Falling

includes: Dabi, Hawk, Endeavor

warnings: Mentions of suicide, nightmares

length: 1,082 words

There was a gleam in the blue eyes as they gazed over the city from above. The bottom of Dabi's long jacket fluttered against his scarred ankles as the smokey breeze whirled around him. The gut-wrenching smell of decay and burning body's turned the air stale, and his mind numbed as he thought about what he had lost.

It was happening again, history repeating itself as he was left with no solution.

The all too familiar pain, fear, and soul-crushing hopelessness coursed through every fiber of his being while he watched his world burn. 

A snarl sounded from behind him, the demanding voice making his body tense even after all of these years. "Your base is nothing but rubble, your boss is dead, your friends have been locked away in the most secure asylum this side of the world. You have no one else on your side, no more hideaways left standing for you to flee to. Surrender, Dabi."

Dabi chuckled softly, but the sound appeared to be unsteady as he turned to face the person he despised. Blazing blue eyes locked onto the number one hero, his father, Endeavor. 

"Have I ever surrendered to you, Enji? Even after the endless days of training, the beatings, the insults… Have I ever given up?" Dabi breathed, fingers twitching by his side as he started to mentally prepare for the pain his godforsaken quirk brought. 

Endeavor's face hardened and the beard of flames on his face seemed to flare up furiously. 

"Who are you?" Endeavor practically demanded an answer as he stepped closer to the villain. Dabi took a step back towards the edge of the building, determined to keep the distance between them. 

“Isn’t that a shame,” Dabi muttered with a scoff while his hands clenched into a fist. “Can’t even remember what your fucking son looks like, can you? You never did bother to care about such trivial things anyway.”

Endeavor froze almost instantly, his facial features violently contorting into mixed emotions of confusion and something Dabi couldn’t quite place. Was it fear? No, Enji couldn’t possibly fear anything. Dabi had learned that lesson a long time ago after personally putting his father through hell. 

“Touya,” Endeavor’s quiet realization was cut off suddenly by his son's sharp tone.

“You don’t have the right to speak my name,” he spat, blue flames sparking in the palms of his hands for only a second. He grimaced, never breaking eye contact as he spat out blood from the corner of his mouth. “Not after what you’ve done to me.”

Endeavor swallowed around the lump in his throat before moving closer, abruptly stopping when Dabi moved his heels to the edge of the building’s rooftop.

“Take even a step towards me, old man, and I’ll jump,” Dabi threatened, eyes narrowing almost daringly.

And suddenly, Endeavor remembered the frantic, fearful, yet determined look that Touya used to always glare at him with. A heavy sigh left him as he stood tall, not moving an inch as he watched his son closely.

“I thought I had lost you for good,” Endeavor admitted under his breath, watching as Dabi snarled like a rabid animal. 

“You have,” Dabi remarked without missing a beat. “Touya is gone, all thanks to you and your god damned dream for me. You’ve killed him, and nothing you can do will change that.”

“And you’ve killed countless innocent lives,” Endeavor growled. “What did they do to deserve death?”

Dabi gritted his teeth as he forced the tears from his eyes by sheer will. “What did I do to deserve you as a father?! What unspeakable evil did I commit before I was born to get you of all people as a parent?! Mom didn’t do any wrong- I didn’t do any wrong! So why,” His voice broke as he bared his teeth. “Why was I unfortunate enough to have you shove your goals down my throat after you couldn’t achieve them yourself?”

Endeavors throat felt dry as his eyes followed the trails of blood seeping from Dabi’s staples and scar lines. The sudden outburst had torn his burned skin. Endeavor didn’t know it, but this happened quite often, though typically when Dabi was alone.

“I needed to make you stronger,” Endeavor said coldly. What did Dabi expect? He knew his father was heartless.

“So I could fall into the mindless and shitty lives of heroes? I’m glad I passed,” Dabi swallowed thickly before a wicked smile spread over his features. “Tell Shoto to kick you in the dick for me.”

Endeavors eyes widened as Dabi outstretched his arms and fell backward without a second thought. Dabi saw his father’s large hand reach out to grab him, to stop him, and, by everyone else’s definition, save him. Yet Endeavor was too late. Dabi was free falling to his death.

A broken laugh sounded through the air as Dabi relaxed, watching the blood from his wounds fall with him through the air. Smoke was surrounding him as he quickly grew closer to the ground, blurring his vision slightly. 

Someone yelled incoherent words below him, followed by demands of where to stand. Yet Dabi didn’t pay enough attention to understand. The sweet embrace of death he wanted was so close he could almost taste it. His eyes shut gently and he smiled wider than he has before in his short life.

Dabi gasped sharply, bolting upright as his eyes shot open, his fingers twisting in the blanket. He was hyperventilating, body shaking as he failed to get his bearings. The tired grumble next to him slowly brought him back to reality.

“Touya?” It was Keigo, and concern was blending with the fatigue in his voice. “Hey, c’mere… It was just a nightmare. Let me hold you, Staples. Calm down for me, yeah?. I’m right here.”

Dabi swallowed thickly, running a quivering hand through his hair as he slowed his breathing. “Okay,” He whispered, earning a gentle hum from his lover. “Okay,” He repeated, this time more to himself than to the person next to him.

As he laid back down on his side, Keigo threw a protective arm over his waist, and he gazed blankly at the wall. His boyfriend started humming sleepily, making a good attempt at lulling Dabi back to sleep.

Dull eyes started to blur as he laid there limply, the humming failing to distract his mind as he thought. 

What have I done to deserve any of this? The good or the bad, why me?

Some Soft Daisuga

includes: Sugawara, Daichi

warnings: Faint mentions of a difficult home life

length: 718 words. It’s so short I-

Daichi groaned softly as he stirred awake from a rather peaceful sleep. He furrowed his brows as his mind failed to determine if he was awake or not. There was a noise, distant yet persistent. Where was it coming from? 

He mumbled under his breath, curious if his parents were home yet as chocolate brown eyes glanced at the electric clock that sat slightly crooked on his nightstand. The noise seemed to grow louder, and Daichi climbed out of bed as he headed to the source of the sound. 

A wide and tired smile spread across his features as he found the reason he had stirred awake. Sugawara had a giddy smile on his face as he waved. He was wearing a black Karasuno shirt, one he had stolen from Daichi, and a pair of shorts. Suga’s gray hair was a tousled mess, and as Daichi’s eyes wandered across his yard he was quick to discover why.

Sugawara’s most prized possession was rested against the large oak tree rooted in the yard. It was a bike the teenager had bought himself, matted black with silver tones throughout the frame. The custom made mountain bike came with a basket in the front, one Daichi had helped him curve to hold a volleyball. It also had metal bars near the back tire for easy standing access. The bike cost Sugawara about 25900 yen, something the teen had worked extra jobs to pay off. The work hours had cut deeply into how often Sugawara could practice volleyball, but it made the third year happy.

Daichi laughed softly as his boyfriend threw another pebble at his window, sticking his tongue out. With a small grunt, Daichi opened his window and shook his head.

“Babe, it is three in the morning,” Daichi scolded playfully, watching Suga’s eyes glaze over what he could see. 

Daichi wasn’t wearing a shirt because it was rather hot in his room. Not that Sugawara could see, but he was also only in boxers. The brunette was a little embarrassed despite himself.

“So? C’mon, let’s go somewhere! It’s not like you have anything else to do,” Suga called back, a smile on his lips so pure it pulled at Daichi’s heartstrings. 

“What about sleep?” Daichi challenged, yet he was already heading to his closet before his lover answered, enticing a giggle. He pulled a tank top over his head and tugged a pair of sweatpants up his legs as he woke himself up. While Sugawara readied the bike, Daichi kicked a pair of sneakers on before climbing from his window. He didn’t have to drop far at all, the air conditioner just below his window. Besides, he was tall enough to climb out without injury. “Why’re you even up?”

From the brief look in Suga’s eyes, Daichi knew he shouldn’t have asked. Sadly enough, Sugawara didn’t have the best relationship with his mom. Daichi would give anything in the world to better his boyfriend’s home life, but there wasn’t much he could do.

With a small smile, Daichi ruffled his little ball of sunshine’s hair. “Forget I asked. Hop on,” Daichi hummed, earning a thankful grin. Daichi sat on the bike, feet planted on the grass to keep it standing upright as his baby held his shoulders and stood on the metal in the back. 

“Try not to crash this time, yeah?” Sugawara giggled, receiving an eyeroll as Daichi startled to peddle off into the night. 

“That entirely depends if you feel like constantly rocking the weight, you psycho,” Daichi shot back as the wind kicked up around them.

His brown eyes looked over his shoulder for a brief moment to just admire how free Sugawara looked. There was a wild gleam in his hazel eyes that made Daichi grin. He could read the love of his life like an open book.

Just as Daichi predicted, Sugawara looked to the starry sky and yelled with a smile on his face. His perfect eyes were shut as he seemed to grow louder. And, despite the possibility of waking everyone in the neighborhood, Daichi yelled with him. The sound morphed into loud laughter as they picked up speed, now starting to fly down a hill. 

This, Sugawara, thought as the wind resistance made his eyes water slightly, This is living.