Damian: This Date Is Boring!

Damian: This date is boring! 

Y/N: This isn't a date. I said I was going to the store. 

Damian: Then why did you invite me? 

Y/N: I didnt, I specifically said "don't come with me," then you said, "fuck you Y/N I'll do whatever I want!”

Y/N: Let me show you a picture from last night that really upset me

Giyuu: Okay, but in my defense, Sanemi bet me 50 cents I couldn’t drink all that shampoo

Y/N: That’s not what I wanted to- you drank SHAMPOO?!

Y/N: -pointing- May I sit here?

Sesshomaru: That’s my lap

Y/N: That doesn’t answer my question, Sessh

Y/N: I fell— 

Shinobu: From heaven? 

Y/N: No, I literally fell— 

Shinobu: In love with me the moment you saw me? 

Y/N: MY ARM IS BROKEN! 

Shinobu: Okay, but do you think I'm pretty? Be honest.

Zenitsu: I think I'm having a mid-life crisis. 

Y/N: You're like 15 years old 

Zenitsu: I MIGHT DIE AT 30!

Could I have an imagine/a little scenario of Madara, Itachi, Sasuke and Hashirama explaining to his son that his wife is pregnant again and that he'll have a little sibling soon? Thank you! I hope I'm not bothering 😅

[ 🌸 ] these four give me vibes of being mayhem with a little kid around them… pfff-

characters: madara uchiha;; itachi uchiha;; sasuke uchiha;; hashirama senju;; some character mentions

genre: fluff;; lovely-family comedy;; sad moments?

warnings: none;; grown men trying to explain to a child where babies come from (it goes wrong);; pregnant reader;; is a happily married couple a warning?

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𝑺𝑼𝑴𝑴𝑨𝑹𝒀: 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘩𝘶𝘴𝘣𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘦𝘹𝘱𝘭𝘢𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘰 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘴𝘰𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘱𝘳𝘦𝘨𝘯𝘢𝘯𝘵

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madara uchiha

*welcome to see the scariest man in the ninja world being a puddle of nerves with his son.

*He does not know how to explain this topic to the child 💀

*The only reason he does it is that you talked him into it.

*And he, being the good husband that he was, succumbed to your wishes lmao

"But darling, I don't know how to explain this to our son-"

"You will do a good job, love, besides, who would be the best to explain this than you?"

*Letting out a dramatic sigh, your imposing husband - who didn't look so imposing now - sat down with his boy, and spoke

"You're going to be a big brother"

*He would try to explain your pregnancy situation to the best of his ability to his four-year-old son.

*What it entails, the burden your body will carry. How in your precious womb you carry his son, his beloved youngest son, who will be born in a few months.

*But, despite everything- it fails miserably.

*Your son, oh, your precious and clearly confused son, innocently asked his dad, “But daddy, how did mommy get pregnant?”

*Madara.exe has stopped working- Seriously, the question leaves him paralyzed for a full minute.

*You think he just stopped breathing because he just doesn't move anymore.

*But no- there's nothing to worry about… he just doesn't know how to function anymore.

*His mind went blank, and he forgot the steps to follow to exist.

*He's had his Windows reset, just give him a moment- and yes, he'll be fine, I promise.

*When he comes to, he gives you a 'helping' look as he adorably babbles nonsense.

“I-…uhhh well I…”, he tries to speak as you try not to laugh at his unfavorable situation. How could you avoid it? The only times he's been like this is only when you annoy him-also when more racy things happen, and you're the dominant one... but that's a topic for another day-

*But seriously, help him or send help please... He's going to collapse at any moment, pfff-

*Also remembering his younger brother, Izuna. But he trusts that his son will not make the same mistake that he did, which was not protecting his younger brother.

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itachi uchiha

*Actually, it happened unexpectedly.

*You had not yet told your son about your pregnancy.

*And One night you were having a hard time with the terrible vomiting of pregnancy. And Itachi, like the loving and protective husband that he is, was by your side comforting you and holding your hair so it wouldn't get in your way. Your beloved partner was so focused on you that he did not notice that his son was at the entrance of the bathroom door watching what was happening.

*He only became aware of his son's presence when he helped you up because your body had been very weak.

*He could see the worry and fear in his son's eyes, the little boy was worried about you, his loving mother.

*After helping you get clean, he took you to your shared room to tuck you into the soft bed, after making sure you were comfortable and that you were asleep, he went to where his son was. When he approached his son Itachi's heart ached, his child looked like he was about to cry. With quick steps he approached the small body of him to hug him.

*With a trembling voice, his son, soon to be five, asked, "Daddy, is Mommy going to die?"

*Itachi had to hold back the amused smile that was about to appear on his face. After all his son was genuinely worried about you, he had to calm down those worries first, and then the next morning he could tell you and laugh along with you about his son's innocent question.

*Stroking the soft hair of his son, he spoke, "Your mommy will be fine, little one, it's just that she's pregnant."

*And congratulation's! You now have two official bodyguards; your loving husband and son.

*"I'll protect you mommy!" //Itachi supporting from the back//

*Rather, you and itachi protect him, but- don't tell him, okay? Your baby is proud and Itachi only feeds your son's pride lmao

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sasuke uchiha

*He is proud and happy to have another child (he vaguely wants it to be a girl)

*Since he wants to break the news to the boy, he tries to mentally prepare himself to explain to his son about your situation (you support him deep down).

*When he feels ready, he goes to where his son is and sits next to him.

*He starts off softly preparing the boy for the big reveal.

“Have you ever… wanted to be a big brother?”

*The question brings out everything his son has imagined, when he thinks about what he would be like as a big brother.

*How he would always protect his little brother or sister, how he would play with him or her and how he would always be there for them.

*Vaguely, his own son reminds him of Itachi, his beloved older brother now deceased. And Sasuke remembering his family again wonders if his father and his brother had this talk before he was born.

*He swallows the urge to cry just remembering Itachi again.

*but, he is happy just thinking that his son will be a good big brother, just like his uncle.

*And Sasuke knows that, if one day he and his beloved wife are no longer in this world, his eldest son will take care of the youngest… just as itachi took care of him.

"You're going to be a big brother"

*Yes… his son is going to be a good big brother.

*And that same afternoon a happy Sasuke, but a little sad, returned to your arms along with his son, very excited who kept asking you about your little belly.

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hashirama senju

*He's nervous, you'd think it's just because of your pregnancy

*but it's not like that

*is he nervous?, yes

*but he's scared too, you know?

*His father was not the best father figure, he was not a good husband either

*and you would really think that being the head of the village he would be sensible regardless, but no.

*He's just afraid of becoming like his father, he's afraid of hurting you one day and hurting his children.

*And even though you're always reassuring him that he'll be a good husband, there's still that little pressure on his chest of fear.

*But surprisingly, he gets up and talks to his son.

*He knows that if one day the fear of becoming like his father comes true, his eldest son will be able to protect you from him.

*According to him, he is avoiding catastrophes… pfff-

*His son, seeing his not so animated state, asks him what he has, and despite only being five years old, your husband tells him about his fears.

*And the child in his innocent little head assures him that he would never be a monster, he could never be like that, because he is his precious daddy.

*the one who always tells bad jokes and makes his beloved mother laugh.

*Your husband, being the sentimental man he is- cries, cries like when you said the same thing to him the first time while he hugs his son.

*When the hugs end and the thoughts and fears leave Hashirama he can rest in peace. He no longer sees himself as someone who will be bad one day.

*And most importantly, if he ever disappears or dies, he knows that his older son will protect you and his younger brother.