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A day 10 years in the making. This original #YYC-based @torontofc supporter is ready to see the Reds finally win the #MLSCup. I've cried so many tears over the last decade, but have met so many folks whom now I call friends. Distance may separate us, but to use a Shakespearean analogy: tonight on what is our St. Crispin's Day, my spirit (no matter where my body shall rest) will be at BMO Field in #Toronto. When the supporters jump, my spirit jumps with them. When the supporters cheer, my spirit cheers with them. When the supporters celebrate, my spirit will celebrate with them. Bring it home, TFC. I believe. #TorontoTilIDie! #ComeOnYouReds! #TFCLive #MLS #MLSCupPlayoffs #torontofc #6ix #416 #403
𝙻𝙶𝙲:𝚏𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚋𝚘𝚢 - 𝙻𝚒𝚟𝚎 𝚂𝚝𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚖 𝚁𝚎𝚏𝚕𝚎𝚌𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗
Jaejin shifted in his chair, running a hand through his hair as he thought about the livestream. “I’ve gotta be honest,” he started, his voice lower than usual, “the livestream… it’s been on my mind a lot. I’ve worked with a few of the guys for a while now, but the group’s changed a bit--people leaving, new guys joining--it’s… different. ” he paused briefly, a hint of something deeper in his expression, “Sometimes, I still feel like I’m on the outside looking in.” His eyes focused on the floor for a moment before he continued.
“It’s not that they’ve made me feel unwelcome or anything,” Jaejin added quickly, as if to clarify. “It’s more… I guess I haven’t found my place yet. You know, when you’re in a room full of people with existing bonds, it’s easy to feel like you’re just… there. I had to focus on relying on myself to get through the whole thing, and honestly, that felt isolating. It’s hard to let go and lean on the other guys when I feel so out of place. The livestream only made that feeling stronger for me. Being live, knowing the cameras were on and the fans were watching… it was nerve-wracking
He let out a small, dry laugh. “I was hyper-aware of everything--how I was sitting, what I was saying, even how I was reacting to the others. Jisoo was great as the host though. He kept the vibe light, so it didn’t feel as tense, but still… it was hard to shake that feeling of being ‘new’ at this.
Jaejin paused, his thoughts swirling. “I kept thinking, ‘Am I being too quiet? Am I coming off too serious?’ You know, some of the guys have these big personalities, and they just… shine in moments like that. I want to show who I am too, but when the camera’s on. I kept overanalyzing things, like am I saying the right thing? Are they connecting with me the way they do with the other guys?’ It’s like I’m still figuring out how to show enough of my personality, without overdoing it or coming across as too reserved. It’s a tough balance.
A flicker of envy crossed his features before he quickly pushed it aside. “It’s not that I’m jealous of them,” he added, almost defensively, “but I do wonder if I’ll ever get to that point where I feel as comfortable. Where I stop worrying about how I come across and just… be myself.”