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Cursed Limbo. You know the deal! This Chapter contains blood, panick attack, sort of derealisation, self-harm. Quackity tries his best...
When I speak
Light but confident footsteps echoed quietly, very easily to miss, through the halls of the hotel, Quackity made his way to the room that was getting more and more familiar. He didn't plan to visit often and he didn't, just giving some documents, mostly the ones that he didn't want to deal with by himself. It wasn't so often that he would stay alone with Schlatt, most of the time, Fundy was around. The fox got way more protective after just one joke. Not that Q couldn't understand that. He could imagine that, since even after seeing Quackity for the first time Schlatt already tried to end his own revived life, a reminder of his probably most painful and slow death would be a big trigger.
He stopped in front of the door, there was mostly silence behind it and the owner of Las Nevadas already wanted to knock but stopped himself when he finally heard something new. Soft, barely audible humming. This actually made Quackity hold his breath for a short while, his mind was consumed by memories. Of better days. Schlatt didn't do that often but whenever he got too focused on something or distracted himself, he would actually hum, it was almost subconsciously. He would stop every time when Quackity asked him about it, which is why the duck hybrid stopped, just listening, sometimes trying to guess the song or gently stroke his husbands ears, holding back the laughter when they flicker, giving his fingers a little, soft slap.
Quackity tried to stop himself from a soft but sad smile. Those were good memories and therefore a reminder that it will never be like this again. Definitely not after all that happened. Exhaling, he made a few louder stomps, making sure that Schlatt would hear him and...like he suggested, the humming stopped at the same moment.
Quackity knocked at the door and opened it afterwards but not entering the room, looking at his ex, who was now panicking and trying to get the bandages back on his arm. Considering that the older wounds were bleeding again, he scratched them open. Q stepped in and quietly closed the door.
-Hey...hey...calm down...- it was possible to see how the ram hybrid started to breath faster, climbing on the bed, getting farther away. Blood from the scratched open wounds was slowly flowed down his arm. Schlatt definitely tried to stop it with the bandages, that are already stained with dried blood. Quackity tried to act fast, letting the documents go, leaving them to fly across the floor, creating a mess. The younger hybrid made his way to the bathroom, grabbing all the bandages that he could find, throwing everything else to the side, creating a lot of crashes and clanking. This actually made the ram more nervous, he couldn't get his breathing under control and he was digging back into his wounds with his nails, painting them red. It was all too loud. Why was there so much noise? The ram hybrid flickered with his ears more often, starting to shake his head, staring at his bloody hands. Which death was it? Second? Only the second had so much blood, right? Where is there arrow this time? is it---every attempt to get a grip on the situation was interrupted by a scream. Was he screaming? he wasn't sure. He opened his mouth but he can't hear himself. Someone was grabbing his shoulders, hands are small but the grip is firm. Not a good touch. Schlatt tried to back off, meeting the cold wall with his back and finally meeting the eyes of the other person. Quackity. He looked....strange....he was saying something. All words were blocked by the loud sound of explosions, fireworks. The next moment, the owner of Las Nevadas tried to grab his bleeding arm. No touch....the revived president immediately pressed his arm to his own chest, painting the blue sweater red but finally....no sound....silence and then just Qs voice. He tried to show that he has bandages in his hands.
-Schlatt! Schlatt....look....fuck...look around....you are okay...your are safe...you are nowhere near the Limbo....you understand me?...- the duck hybrid was heavily breathing, he never thought that seeing his ex that frightened would....sicken him. This felt wrong.
Schlatt was chaotically looking to the sides, this wasn't Manberg, right? No walls....nothing white....not the White House....finally he examined Quackitys hands. Just bandages....not a bow....nothing else that could be sharp enough to pierce his throat.
-Good....now...now breath....you are hyperventilating...and you are losing blood...you are going to lose consciousness if you don't stop...- while Schlatt tried to take deep breathes, the duck hybrid got a glimpse of his neck, which is usually covered with the turtleneck of his sweater. Three deep scars in a row, which are formed like arrowheads. Quackity slowly lowered his gaze.
-....Okay....so...now, can I touch you?- this sounded so dumb. They were married and now Q has to ask if he can even just touch the former tyrant. Schlatt didn't answer, he tried to grab the bandages but Quackity hid his arm behind his back.
-Let me help you. Schlatt. I....fuck...I am not going to hurt you...in any way....okay?- the ram hybrid looked down at his own arm, it was almost entirely covered in his own blood, Fundy would be disappointed. Biting down on his bottom lip, the man reached out with his arm, turning his head to the side, hoping that the touch will be over soon.
Quackity exhaled and then gently started to wrap the bandages around his ex-husbands arm, trying to avoid too much direct touch.
-You know...it would be easier if you would say something....- there was a slight chuckle, the duck hybrid tried to light up the mood. The former presidents hands were shaking, he himself tried to maintain the calm breathing.
-...Why won't you speak, Schlatt? It...it has been like....way more than a week since you got here....and you speak with Wilbur. We all know that you do. So what is the issue?- the man slowly reached for his notebook and the pen that was attached to it. His handwriting was worse then usually because of the obvious reasons.
I am.
In that moment Quackity wanted to joke that, he already knows that but he bites on his own tongue. This will probably result in another crisis.
-What do you mean?- at least, Schlatt seemed distracted enough, so Q could continue the bandaging. Layer after layer, stopping the blood and knowing that they will have to change them soon enough, just so they could avoid infection. The sound of scribbling filled the hotel room.
Was it ever something good when I spoke?
For a moment, Quackity fell silent. There was some sort of truth in those words. The last things that Schlatt said outloud were hurtful, to say the least. The owner of Las Nevadas tried to catch Schlatt glance but he wouldn't look in his direction.
-....Sometimes...when you would compliment me....or when you praised Fundy and Tubbo for the good work....when....heh....when you got so focused on something new that you started humming....you didn't even notice it most of the time...sometimes I...- the man stopped midsentence and cleared his throat, making a knot, so the bandage wouldn't go off. He fixed the position of his beanie and started to get the documents from the floor.
-This is...this has to do with some financial issues....you...had experience with that sort of things so...maybe you could look over and let me know what you think.- he almost whispered, much drier. Leaving the documents on the desk and sitting down on the other bed, that is usually occupied by Fundy.
-I will wait till someone else arrives. Was there something specific that triggered you?- instead of an answer, which Schlatt clearly avoided, he wrote down a question.
When was the last time you groomed your wings?
Quackity tried to stop himself from blushing at such a question, he looked to the side and squeezed the blanket between his fingers.
-Why do you ask?- looking at the older man with his peripheral vision, he could swear that he noticed a little shadow of a smile on his face.
You always walk faster and start to hunch more when you don't groom your wings to frequently.
That was sort of true...his wings were pretty demanding and the lack of care caused immense back pain.
-I was...planning on doing that the last week....but got distracted. You know....leading a country....not a lot of time for.....medical care...- the last bit was said less loud and Quackity couldn't look away from his ex-husbands arms. It was hard to admit but he thought that he was missing something. Something from the past. Something that...was ignored and was causing so much pain. He wanted to be heard. Wanted to be seen. Maybe now it's time to listen and open his own eyes. The mistakes of the past are still present, now he will have the strength to recognize them. One of them has to fo the first step for understanding. They need to gain understanding about themselves....and each other. That's the only way that a change can happen and the repeating of history be avoided.