Alien-human Interaction - Tumblr Posts

You know what probably freaks aliens out?

The human desire to climb. To get higher. To get off the ground as much as they can.

And this can include climbing mountains and stuff but other races probably do that too. And a lot of them are probably meant for climbing trees. Humans? Not so much

But if there’s one thing aliens learned about humans, its that they hate being told what to do.

“What do you mean, you climbed that tree?! That’s 10k wriles off the ground!”

“What?! No! It’s only like ten feet! I was fine!”

“No, you’re not fine! You’re not built to climb things!”

“Yes I am! Look, my hands - they’re perfect for climbing. See, they can grasp things and hold things-”

“Hold things like spears and rocks and - no, I’m sorry, don’t make that face, I didn’t mean it like that, I’m just saying - human dearest, human beloved, you’re covered in thin skin and weirdly fast healing muscles and bones that don’t like to give up, and I know your ancestors were of the apes on your planet but… that’s just too high! There’s nothing to be gained from it!”

“I’ve ziplined from taller.”

“That’s not the point! That has a harness!”

“Besides, a stirseid baby fell out of its nest. I had to put it back. They’re endangered!”

“… Oh, human. You are so… human.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means I’ll buy you a drink at the next vending machine we find if you promise to at least warn me next time you do a stunt like that.”

“… Okay. I’ll try.”

Human, retelling the story a few days later: And that’s how my friend became 90% of my impulse control