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People will really call starbucks waistcoat Gerard "teacher Gerard" as if it wasn't just literal wife cosplay
Once Upon a Time: ' Pain in the Ass '
In an Alternate universe / timeline 6'ft tall David Nolan a.k.a Prince Charming becomes the 1st Ever ' Light One ' that's a Magical Wizard stronger than any that have ever lived before including Rumplestiltskin The Dark One a.k.a Mr.Gold & Merlin! Rumple tried to stop this from happening by manipulating David into doing a Deed to Darken his Heart Forever but, failed. David proved to strong to become Evil so easy. After, a series of trials David becomes the Light One but, finds the amount of power made him Grow 30' tall! After, David strips Rumple of his Dark One Powers permanently. David was really Pissed w/ Gold to the point where he could kill him but, heroes don't kill! Although, it doesn't say anywhere about Heroes don't take prisoners. So David decides since Rumple's been such a Pain in the Ass since he meet him for his Family & Friends he should be under his. David bounds Rumple in a Magical Light making him float up towards a telephone pole & then teleoports right in front of him w/his Giant Jean Clad Bubble Butt facing Rumple. " Since, u've been such a Pain my Families & my's Ass's since Day One I think it's only poetic you meet mine! " David laughs shaking his Butt at Rumple's Tiny Body. " So since you need to be kept under strict surveillance I can't think of a more perfect place to know where you're at & what you're doing than making you my New Seat Cushion! Oh, don't worry... I made your Body pliable so you won't get squished under my Big Ol' Ass! ' David says grinning. Just then David felt his stomach gurgle. " Speaking of my Ass I Guess the Burritos from Granny's Diner's not agreeing w/ me! This is actually perfect timing as you're about to experience one of the things you'll be dealing w/ daily as my Ass Cushion. Get ready Old Fart cause here comes Mine! " David says smirking. Suddenly Rumples hair's blown back by the Loudest & Longest Fart he's ever heard. Once David finally figured out how to get his normal height back he shrunk Rumple to just 1" tall to continue being David's Seat/Fart Cushion.
