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4 years ago

Greek Gods as Things My Latin Teacher Has Said

Zeus: Patriarchy here, people.

Poseidon: No, I’m the king of the sea!

Hades: There’s lots of blood and gold here.

Hera: So, I have fourteen hot nymphs.

Apollo: One time I tried to get people to call me “amor ac deliciae generis humani” (the love and delight of the human race). Instead they called me an ass.

Hermes: Two wrongs don’t make a right, but three make a left.

Persephone: Why do you have to criticize my walnuts?

Dionysus: You get drunk and steal peoples stuff!

Demeter: *giggles* I guess you could say that they’re ill-infarmed. They’re like oxen. *giggles*

Artemis: Only bully people lesser than you.

Athena: It’s okay. I’ll just publicly mock you if you get it wrong.

Hestia: No on can offend anyone if no one is saying anything.

Ares: You guys are laughing now. It’s funny now, but I was crying.

Aphrodite: Who’s going to love you now?

Hephaestus: I’m using power tools. What could go wrong?


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