And Hatred - Tumblr Posts
Cartwheel, Lucy Dacus
Dick @ his family and friends: you shouldn't hold yourself up to an impossible standard! Even if it's in the name of improvement, expecting more from yourself than any one person could do is insane! You are good enough. If you don't believe it, I guarantee somebody else does. And they're looking up to you. And we will get through this. I promise you. If I'm lying, you can crucify me. We will be ok. You will be ok. If there is no one on this earth that cares about you, then I don't exist because you are all wonderful, kind, dazzling, talented people who I am so grateful to have in my life! If you can't love yourself right now, I'll just have to do it for you until you can. If you're holding on by a thread, we can help you make sure the thread doesn't break. You just need to ask for help. And stop holding that standard higher than the eye can see. Pinky swear.
Also Dick: *holds himself up to impossible standards and refuses to ask for help*
Okay, I hate the heat and humidity we get in Kansas. Hate it. I do not do well in it and every summer I basically die. (I grew up in an area that rarely sees temperatures over 95--maybe a week’s worth, max--and certainly doesn’t see the humidity we get here.) Air conditioning is a necessity here, and I can totally relate to those husky/malamute pups that like to sit in fridges when it’s hot. But this, this is excessive.
It feels like the friggin’ middle of winter in my office right now (the entire office suite is freezing, and I’m not dressed for anything colder than maybe 75 degrees). When the weather had first started warming up, I had intended to take my ‘office hoodie’ home, but never got around to it. I’m glad I didn’t because I needed it. And I wish I didn’t wear so many skirts and dresses to work, because my legs are frozen. I’ve been having to curl up awkwardly on my chair to get my skirt to cover my legs. I have had 4 mugs of tea today, just to keep a hot drink at my desk to defrost my fingers on (not that the caffeine or the hot water have been doing their respective jobs very well).
And a certain counselor is throwing tantrums again, so my inbox has been spammed with ridiculous, petty emails designed to give me more work/make things far harder than they need to be. I’m ignoring all of her emails right now, unless it is relevant to something I’m doing.
Right now I am a tired, freezing ball of discontent and rage and feelings of murder.