Ban X Reader - Tumblr Posts

I’d Rather Die

In.

Pause.

Out.

Pause.

Repeat.

The actions themselves were second nature themselves, yet the gentle directing words were the actual anxiety relievers. It was quiet out, the world had never felt so still before, almost seeming as though it had completely stopped moving itself. Even as I stood outside the Boar Hat, there wasn’t the slightest gust of wind, nor the chirping of crickets to prove that the world was still itself. After all that had happened, I’d have thought that the kingdom would be full of more life than this; it would be bustling with excitement and optimism, with opportunities and hope, yet it was quite the opposite. It was as though the Sins had never saved the kingdom from a demonic disaster, as though threat still loomed over the horizon.

It had felt like that for a while, long before we had even begun the expedition looking for the rest of the sins, subsequently leading to where we are now. It would be stupid of me to think the deeply rooted anxiety would just disappear after one day, yet still, it seemed…misplaced. The fear did not belong to the idea of another Holy War breaking out across the land, but rather in something that seemed so minuscule in comparison. Despite that, it still weighed just as heavily on my heart, and fueled my current decision of leaving the company of the Sins and the Princess. It was never to be permanent, I had planned on leaving after ensuring Princess Elizabeth’s safe return home, but along the way the plan started to change. And again it has changed, back to its original state, though for reasons quite opposite of the reasons for it changing in the first place.

In.

Pause.

Out.

Pause.

Repeat.

I hiked my bag further up my shoulder, holding it tightly as I began to walk towards the forest path, away from the Boar Hat. My heart seemed to sink further and further with every step I took, yet I continued. There was nothing left there for me, nothing that was true, anyhow. All that remained were sweet lies and sugar coated nightmares. The physical burden that came along with the Sins were easy to bear, but the emotional toll? I hadn’t signed up for that.

I didn’t sign up to meet someone so brazen and excitable, yet who could tell exactly what I was thinking and feeling at any given moment. I didn’t sign up to have someone learn to read me as easily as a book, and unravel the secrets I resolved to keep hidden as easily as untying a shoelace. I didn’t sign up to become accustomed to a single person’s presence around me, and be lost without them there. I didn’t sign up to be so wrapped around a person’s finger that they wouldn’t have to even look my way for me to know when they wanted something. And I most certainly didn’t sign up to learn that the person I had fallen so hard for was only concerned with finding ways to bring his own beloved back to life.

I didn’t sign up to have my heart broken.

The truth had never fully come out after the fight between Ban and Meliodas, but a simple ask of Hawk had the truth in the palm of my hands. I had never felt more stupid in my life, of course he wouldn’t feel the same way, things like that only happened in fairy tales. It seemed pointless, then, to stay with the Sins. I completed my job, I got Elizabeth back home safely, now it was time to move on. I successfully managed to pack my bags during dinner time without anyone noticing, and decided to leave after everyone had fallen asleep. I’ll be long gone by the time anyone wakes up, and even further away when they realize I’m no longer there.

So gone I was, away from the warm and comforting embrace of friends, and back into the icy hands of solitude. I was used to it, I had never had much of anyone in my life, and I always traveled alone, yet after traveling with the Sins and going through all the ventures we had, it felt wrong to continue alone. The forest broke into a small clearing, a cliff evident some odd yards off from the forest line. I could see a town below in the distance, gray clouds billowing from the smoke stacks letting me know that the town was alive.

Sunshine beamed down warmly, yet the world still felt so still. I set my bag down close to the edge of the cliff, then sit myself on top of it. I hadn’t really taken a moment to rest since I left, just the occasional stop to nap for a bit, and then again back to traveling. Closing my eyes, I allow my body to relax, the tightness in my chest slowly releasing as I breathed.

In.

Pause.

Out.

Pause.

Repeat.

The mantra echoed throughout my head, soothing my frayed nerves. I was gone, the walls were back up and reinforced, the chains had never been more sturdy. I was safe back in the reclusion of myself, a place where none could hurt me. Yet even as I convinced myself that I was safe, and I was yet again alone, the thundering of footsteps headed my way were a clear indication that I was not. I tended up, reflexively reaching for my sword as I stood and turned to face the forest.

I wasn’t quite sure what to expect. Perhaps some bandits, or wandering travelers, maybe even foragers from the town below. I most certainly, however, wasn’t expecting to see Ban’s towering figure break through the forest and stand before me. He breathed heavily, sweat forming on his forehead and chest. His outfit had changed from the last time I saw him, surprising me as he seemed to love the red leather outfit. What surprised me even more was the fact that he was somehow here before me despite being several days worth of travel away from the Boar Hat.

“How did you find me?” I asked, voice slightly wavering from shock.

“That would be thanks to my superior skills, hehe.” Another familiar voice responded.

From behind Ban emerged a large pig, and I internally groaned at Hawk’s arrival as well. Of course, he had more than likely caught my scent and led Ban right to me. I let out a sigh, somewhat relaxing as I let go of my sword and pick my bag up again.

“Well what do you want?” I question dryly, though I don’t quite wait for a response and I begin descending the mountain.

“I need a reason to come join you on a journey?” Ban replied somewhat jokingly. He started after me, easily catching up with me.

I give him a glare, not at all in the mood for his jokes. Yet he makes no effort to answer the question, just continues to stroll beside me in silence. It made me irrevocably angry to see him so peacefully walking, acting as though nothing at all had happened between us. It must be bliss for him, to be so unaware of the turmoil I had been in since his fight with Meliodas. I wanted so badly to scream at him, to tell him just what he had done to me, to tell him to leave and never come back, but all I could get out was “You should go back with the others.”

“Why?” He asked me, as though the mere notion were inconceivable to him.

“They need you, you’re one of them.”

“We completed our mission and stopped the Holy Knights. There’s no more need for us to stick together.”

“Then why are you here? What need do you have that requires you to be here?”

“Again, do I need one?”

“Yes. I left for a reason, but it means nothing if you follow me anyways.”

He didn’t exactly flinch, but I could see the slight recoil in his eyes. Part of me felt bad, I never intended to hurt him, but in the moment, I just wanted him to leave me alone. We both stopped walking, not even close to the base of the cliff, instead teetering rather close to the edge.

“You got something against us or something?” He asks nonchalantly, though I can hear the defensive undertones.

“My job was to return Elizabeth home safely. I did that, there’s no other reason for me to stay anymore.” I reply. Again, I could sense the recoil.

“If that’s the case, why are you so upset that I came to join you? If there’s something bothering you then just say it.”

“I’m fine, Ban, just go ba-“

“Bullshit. If you were fine you wouldn’t be acting like this.”

“What’s it to you how I’m acting, huh? Since when did you care?”

“You’re my friend and comrade, why wouldn’t I?”

Friend. Of course, I’m just a friend. Nothing would ever change that. I was tired, my heart hurt, I just wanted to be alone. Being alone would be better than this.

“Don’t you have a fairy to go revive? Why don’t you go find ways to bring her back and leave me alone for once.” I tell him. There was no life to my voice, just flat tones and exhaustion.

That was when he finally flinched, as though I had hit him across his face. There was pain etched across his face, and both remorse and understanding in his eyes.

“This is about Elaine?” He slowly asked.

I shook my head, almost in disbelief. He was so close yet so far. “Not exactly, Ban.”

“Then what is it?”

“It’s you yourself.” I finally say. “You took the time and effort to get to know me and understand me. You wormed your way into my life, and not only made me feel like I belonged, but that I actually mattered to someone. You protected me even though I didn’t need it, you comforted me when I had no one else to. For once, I didn’t feel alone anymore…and I was going to stay for you. I was going to travel and fight with the Sins because I wanted to be there with you. But what’s the point if the whole time you were only looking to bring back the girl that you actually love.”

I hadn’t even realized I was crying until at least a breath of wind flew across the way, and I could feel the chill of the tears on my cheeks. Ban stood silent for a while, and I just dryly chuckled, wiping the tears off of my face.

“But it’s just my dumb mistake, falling for someone whose heart is already taken, right?” I rhetorically ask.

I hike my bag again up my shoulder, and began to set off again. I said some of what had been plaguing my mind, but still my heart felt just as heavy as though it were an incurable disease.

“You’re still planning on leaving after that?” The audacity is what stopped me again.

“Why should I stay, Ban?

Silence again.

“I need you.”

I didn’t think I heard it at first, it was so quiet, but I turned around anyways.

“You need me?” I ask.

“Too hard to believe for you?”

“You’re planning on reviving your ex, Ban, excuse me for needing a little more than that to believe you.”

“Yes, sweets, I need you.”

That stupid pet name. He began calling me that not long after we met, he claimed me to be sweet as sugar despite having watched me wipe out several Holy Knights alone without breaking a sweat. It was dumb, it was untrue, yet it brought a small sense of comfort when he used it.

“Do you really need me? Or do you just need someone to fill the void until you can get Elaine back?” It sounded harsh when I said it, only half intending it to sound that way.

“I want you to be my last, sweets. I loved Elaine, but I can learn to live without her. I can’t learn to live without you, too. I’d rather die than be separated from you.”

There was a sincerity from him I hadn’t expected, at least not in these circumstances. Was it really that easy? He fought Meliodas, his best friend, because he thought by killing him he could bring Elaine back. Could his feelings really change that quickly just because I left? As if he could sense my hesitation, Ban stepped closer to me, and gingerly cupped my face in his hands.

“She showed me that love was possible for me, but even more than love, you make me feel alive. You make being immortal worth it, like I can bear eternity as long as I have you. I….just don’t leave me. I need you….I really do.” He says softly.

Maybe it wouldn’t hurt to give this a chance. Give us a chance.

“Okay.” I whisper, yet he was close enough to hear it clearly.

He smiled down at me, a look so tender and gentle I couldn’t help but lean more into him, legs beginning to weaken. Ban chuckled at me, and leaned down to place a kiss on my forehead. I smile softly at the touch, and I could feel my cheeks grow red. He tilt my face upwards more, kisses me again on my right cheek, and again my left. I giggle when he plants a kiss on my nose, and playfully bites the tip of my nose. Just when I think he’s finally going to indulge me and kiss me on the lips, he goes further down, and places a kiss on my chin.

“Really?” I ask, laughter in my voice.

He only grins at me, a silly smile that has me melting in laughter. He laughs alongside me, his hands dropping to hold my gently around my waist. And then, without warning, he dips his head down again to kiss me on the lips. I didn’t move at first, partially shocked, but soon leaned into the touch, allowing myself to relax and be guided by him. His kiss was both gentle yet so passionate, as though he were trying to convey entire stories to me through a single touch.

The aching in my chest slowly unraveled in his hold, replacing the pain and fear with only love and compassion. It felt so unreal, to be so wrapped in someone’s love and embrace. I didn’t ever want to stop, nor let go of this moment. In his own words, I’d rather die than let this go again.

They brag day and night about how great they are and how everyone is below them. You watch from a seat across the room knowing that they whimper and cry by your manipulation. They may be 'tough' but really you know that they're just a stupid little cockwhore and you could embarrass them right now by just opening your mouth. They beg to be touched, to worship you, they act indifferent at first but before long they're outwardly sobbing as you tease them. They could care less for the validation of others at this point they NEED yours.

Joffrey Baratheon, Viserys Targaryen lll, Petyr Baelish, Tony Stark, Dean Winchester, Homelander, Eren Jaeger, Greg House, Alvin Murphy, Junko Enoshima, Hawks, Ban, Draco Malfoy, Rodrick Heffley, Saul goodman, Coriolanus Snow, Finnick Odair, Dazai

I can’t stop thinking about yandere!Ban like this man exclusively will live for you. He holds you so close to him every time you two go out, he glares and you can hear a slight growl of disapproval if someone even looks at you while gripping you tighter and closer to him 😩

When you two are alone expect some love bites from him he wants everyone to know you belong to him <3 (not that he wouldn’t do it in public but he would respect your choice if it makes you uncomfortable)

Hffhshhgdyb this isn’t even a request this is more like some gay gay homosexual gay rant on how much I want to belong to this sin of greed like DAMN damn… 😭🙏

Well, I love this lots, so ima add on some head cannons bc I also love this man.

You two met when you were hanging out with Elaine and your younger sister, Gerheade.

Ban first fell in love with Elaine, willing to do anything for her. But when she admits that you'd been helping her try to get him in love with her by basing her personality around yours, he was furious and confused.

Eventually, she goes back to being her regular self, but now Ban is interested in you..

When the demon came, he pretended to be in love with Elaine still so he could drink the fountain of eternal life.

When you almost died, Ban went completely insane. He killed the demon, He killed fairies trying to separate you two. (The fairies realized he was having a mind break, so they still made him king. They just made sure you'd be waiting for when he got back)

When he went to the prison and could see you, he went even more insane. Once he got out, courtesy of Meliodas, they went to find you.

Meliodas didn't realize that you were the fairy he was looking for, that Ban was in love with one of his best friends, during the war, little brother,

Once they found you, Ban was all over you. You couldn't leave his side for more than five minutes, he would cook special for you, when you were near him he needed to claim you, whether that was holding his hand or receiving love bites.

You were his and his alone..