Bc I'm No Expert At All - Tumblr Posts

8 months ago

A longer post because there were some fun dragon things today

I'll be posting the other half (which actually happened first, chronologically) on my other account, but this is the part that I feel like writing out first. Obligatory UPG disclaimer, this is a personal experience so it has no basis in anything other than my own beliefs!

So! Crash course in how I believe reincarnation works for context: I believe that I- and everyone else- have what one would call a "higher self." Think of this like a lake, and each individual incarnation is a little whirlpool. Still part of the overall lake, but it's an individual at the same time. Or, I suppose, you could view it as a cake with pieces or whatever other metaphor you can think of- point is, my soul is whole but I am not all there is to me. My higher self is more aware, and not stuck in a physical body like I am.

My mother works very closely with her higher self. I... somehow just never saw that as an option for me. When I realized I was dragonkin, I immediately knew why; big huge dragon + little tiny human who's easily intimidated and doesn't know that they're a dragon yet = bad time. After I realized that, I decided that when I had the time I wanted to sort of say hello. Today I finally got the chance to meditate and have a chat.

I've understood my Amphitere nature is the draconic form that, in this lifetime, is likely the form it'd be most useful to know of and relate myself to. Not my truest form, but the one that will FEEL truest in this lifetime. So I knew higher self wasn't gonna look like that.

He is... fucking huge. I expected that, but it was still surprising. I couldn't get a good clear image of the body plan or anything, but he had feathered wings. The thing was; he was gold. I asked if he was actually gold, because that would mean that me and my mom separately picked up on that, and the following conversation ensued:

"Wait, so are you really gold?" "Yes.... sort of?" "WAIT OH MY GOD ARE YOU SHRIMP COLORS?????"

He laughed and said yes. I asked in the first place because it was something I just suddenly knew intuitively; gold is really the closest in energy that a human can perceive, but if I had a wider spectrum of color available to me he wouldn't look the same.

After some chatting I asked if he could help me connect us a little better, because I just... have a hard time looking at this massive fucking dragon and going "you're me, but big! :D" like no that's a dragon. Who am I to claim that that's me. Wtf. And after a moment, I just... sort of felt these massive fucking wings?? not my blue ones, but HIS wings. On my back. The full wingspan of them wouldn't even fit in my fucking room, it was wild.

Also, Loki and I have worked together WAY LONGER THAN I THOUGHT???? I asked higher self if he had worked with Loki, not as me, but as him and he and Loki looked at each other like they were in on some joke and I wasn't. I shit you not, he just sort of...

"Not... all lifetimes, just most of them-" LIKE THAT'S WAY MORE THEN A DOZEN, WHO WAS GONNA TELL ME THAT???

Anyway the punchline of this was the "shrimp colors" I just wanted to put the rest of that so I remembered, I fucking cannot deal with how weird my practice is getting over here XD


Tags :