Briggsy The Kutlass Kratch - Tumblr Posts
yeah
i have people i know irl follow me and i wonder why they still talk to me after making shit like this
(@fallen-shamans-spirit)
*It's late. It's very late, so much so that all who can be asleep are as such. Late enough that no words are spoken, no distraction made.*
*Briggsy, too, would be asleep, as a chill shrouds any flesh not shielded by a blanket's warmth, sudden and harsh enough to touse him.*
*Briggsy shifts and murmurs in his sleep, slowly coming to consciousness as a chill overtakes his body. He’s a bit disoriented when he opens his eyes*
“Huh…. wuzzit…..”
briggsy: if two toungh twisters got stuck on the moon whould that be fucked up or what?
Farryn: Do you love Briggsy?
Yorgrim: Yeah, I do.
Farryn: Lethica! I told you I knew it! You owe me 100 bucks!
Lethica: We all love Briggsy. You should've asked if they were IN love with them.
Yorgrim: I thought that was implied.
Lethica: ...
Farryn: ...
Yorgrim, looking straight at Lethica: Congrats Farryn, you just won 100 bucks.
Briggsy They couldn't find their way out of a paper bag.
Jericho : That's not true! I found my way out of a paper bag yesterday!
Farryn: I put the pun in punishment.
Lethica : I put the top in unstoppable.
Briggsy: I put the cute in execute.
Briggsy again: I put the sexy in dyslexia.
Briggsy again again: I put the ass in class.
Marius: I put the D(?) in Lethica.
Briggsy: My bad, It’s a knee jerk response.
Lethica, holding Farryn's unconscious body: WHOSE KNEE JERK RESPONSE IS TO START THROWING BRICKS AT SOMEONE???
Yorgrim: Stop doing that.
Briggsy: Stop doing what?
Yorgrim: Saying things that make me wanna kiss the hell out of you.
*Yorgrim is telling a story*
Briggsy: Wow, Yorgrim, this story has everything! Action! Adventure! Romance!
Marius: Romance?
Briggsy: I have a crush on them.
Yorgrim: I never understood why people cared so much about their dumb friends until I got a dumb friend myself.
Yorgrim: *Picks up Briggsy*
Yorgrim: I’ve only befriended Briggsy for a day and a half, but if anything happened to them I would kill everyone in this room and then my self.
*At a dinner party, the guests converse while the host is away*
Yorgrim: So how do you know the host?
Jericho : They were a former vegan, and they bought milk.
Briggsy: That BITCH!
Farryn: I pulled them over for money laundering.
Marius: I'm chaperoning their dinner party.
Lethica: They stole a baconator!
Briggsy: That BITCH!
Yorgrim: I tanked the store they were managing and they convinced me to quit from one of the only jobs I've ever had. Now I'm living off of unemployment checks and fear!
Briggsy: Is the pink panther a lion?
Marius: Say that again but slower.
Briggsy: I don’t get it.
Marius: He’s a PANTHER.
Briggsy: Is that a type of lion?
Marius: No, it’s a fucking panther.
Briggsy: *googles panther* They aren’t pink?
Marius: AND LIONS ARE?!
Jericho : What does “take out” mean?
Farryn: Food.
Lethica: Dating.
Briggsy: Murder.
Yorgrim: It can be all three if you’re brave enough.
Briggsy: I bet you can’t make a sentence without the letter “A”!
Lethica: You thought you just did something there, didn’t you? Well, sorry to burst your bubble, but numerous sentences could be constructed without employing the first letter of the English lexicon.
Briggsy: Fuck you.
Lethica: How is the most beautiful person in the world?
Marius: *blushing* I—
Briggsy, butting into the conversation: Yorgrim is perfect, thanks for asking.
Lethica: Okay, who's turn is it to give the pep talk?
Briggsy: It's Marius's turn.
Marius: Don't die.
Briggsy, wiping a tear away: Truly inspirational.
Briggsy: What was that?
Jericho : My shirt fell.
Briggsy: It sounded a lot heavier than that.
Farryn: They were in it.
Briggsy: I’m not stupid, you know.
Marius: Well, you’re doing a really good impression of it!
Jericho : Is stabbing someone immoral?
Lethica: Not if they consent to it.
Marius: Depends on who your stabbing.
Briggsy: YES??!!?