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Coquet, Part 9 | JJK

Coquet, Part 9

\ kō-​ˈket Definition: noun. a man who indulges in flirtation.

✫✫✫Coquet Masterlist✫✫✫

Pairing: Escort!JJK x Fem-reader

Rating: M (🔞)

Genre: Fake-dating!AU; Strangers to lovers; fluff; angst; smut

Warnings: ANGST(!!!); pining; vulnerable confessions; some sexually-explicit conversations; cussing; self-deprecation; very slight hint of sexual tension; some medical terminologies

Word count: 11.8K+ words

Summary: On your brother's wedding, you dread traveling to see your family–whom you have successfully avoided for over a year after moving across the country for work. In an effort to save face, you hire an escort to get them off your back and perhaps even make your ex–who happens to be the best man–a little jealous.

A/N: Sorry this took so long! I had to sit in my feelings--just like my loves here. I also had a terrible case of writer's block while working on this. I was constantly questioning the direction that I was taking the narrative in. In the end, I went with the more realistic, sensible approach rather than going for instant gratification. And while the latter is easier and seems more satisfying, I wanted to maintain my core writing style--and that's making my characters earn the ending that I am setting them up for.

A/N2: Multiple POV switches occur here. I've tried to add headings to serve as a marker as to whose "headspace" you're in. Hope that helps! 😬

A/N3: The 'medical' portion here was directly lifted from an episode of House (love that show!). Just slightly paraphrased (for the dramz)! Also, if you've read my other works--let me know if you've picked up my not-so-subtle easter egg here 🤗

Needless to say, no wedding occurred the following day. Taehyung calmly explained things to your parents last night when he got back to the hospital. They were rightfully disappointed and extremely confused, but he didn’t leave them much room to complain about it.

There was no sign of Jennie or her family this morning either. Auntie Dahlia may have let slip that they left around dawn–before everybody else.

You wait patiently in the lobby with your suitcases as different groups board shuttles. Some were headed to the airport whilst others headed to a separate dropoff area where most local guests and relatives parked.

You were headed to your parents’ house to pick up one of their cars to drive back to the hospital so you could be there when your dad gets discharged. Instead of rebooking an earlier flight, you decided to spend your last night in your childhood home and leave on the day you had originally planned.

Too many thoughts, feeling so many emotions, you sighed and checked your flight’s confirmation email for the nth time.

You still had notifications turned on for any changes and last night you received an alert about one of the itineraries that you booked–Jungkook’s. Your phone pinged indicating that he flew out at 6:30 this morning.

Your fingers hovered on the text window’s keypad for a few seconds before closing out of it. You did the same thing last night after finding the envelope containing the money that you had given him at the beginning of the week. You didn’t care to count it.

You regretted lashing out at him. He was the unwitting recipient of your rage. Not to mention that you said the most awful words to him. Words you couldn’t take back.

It was not how you envisioned this trip ending.

Had you actually made plans to go out on a date with him? The last few days seem like a fever dream now after how things went down last night.

Haru was gone and you felt nothing. Jennie left but not before apologizing last night, trying to make things right. It counted for something but didn’t make their betrayal hurt less.

And now Jungkook was gone. You hunch over your knees and bury your head in your hands. That seemed like a harder pill to swallow.

You are pulled from your thoughts when you hear someone clearing their throat. Lifting your head slightly, you flick your eyes sideways and spot the tips of a pair of Chelsea boots. When you glance up, you see Jimin smiling at you. You force a smile in return.

He nudges your leg playfully, prompting you to scoot over so he could settle in the empty space next to you. You sit side-by-side in silence for a minute until you feel his arm curl around you, pulling you closer to him. You instinctively rest your head on his shoulder, releasing a deep, shaky breath so your tears wouldn’t fall.

Jimin could run his mouth if and when wanted to. You had a feeling that he had plenty to say about everything that happened last night, but he seems to settle with rubbing the side of your arm. It was comforting.

He finally breaks the silence with a mundane question. “Need a ride to the airport in a couple days?”

You sighed. “Will it be a quiet ride?”

“As quiet as you want it to be,” he promises.

You nodded. Straightening out, you look around the lobby, as if expecting somebody familiar to come walking by. “Is Mindi still up in her room packing?”

He closes one eye and squints, as if weighing his answer. “Sort of? She says she needs time to psych herself up before she sees you.”

You gave him a look of confusion. “Why would she need to do that?”

Jimin shifted in his seat. “She kind of feels guilty. By association.”

You groaned at the sound of that. “Chim, you know I don’t see it like that.”

“I know. I talked to her about it last night and this morning at length. She felt that she should have known–with her and Jennie being attached at the hip and all. And if she had known, she’d be the first to sound the alarm.” He simultaneously reasons with you and defends his sister’s emotions.

You tilted your head back and sighed. You rubbed your eyes, completely drained of life. You didn’t want all of this guilt floating around you, not when you had guilt of your own that you had to deal with.

“Jennie seemed like she was ready to take that secret to the grave,” you say, sounding distant.

“Mm. That’s the thing with people who seem too good to be true. They’re overcompensating for something,” he replies cynically.

Your eyebrows quirked and you glanced sideways at him. You wondered if maybe he had your secret figured out.

He lifted a shoulder, continuing. “But…sometimes, there are things that seem dubious but aren’t. You spend enough time being a skeptic, it makes it hard for you to tell whether something or someone is actually being genuine.”

“What if a person is just too gullible?”

He smirked at you. “Gullibility has its pros and cons. For one, people think you easily fall for something without even thinking it through. On the other hand, it means you believe that there’s inherent good in the world and that you’re not a complete cynic.”

You exchanged quiet looks. You felt guilty about keeping this secret from him. You were always very close, even when you were kids. Although you and Mindi played together more often, it was Jimin whom you spent the most time talking to.

“I don’t think you’re a cynic, YN. Far from it. You just got dealt a bad hand. But you know what we always say after all those trips to Vegas? If you bust on this hand, you can either bet again or walk away. And nine times out of ten you bet again.”

You gave him a crooked smile. “I don’t know, Chim. I think you overestimate me too often.”

“I don’t overestimate you. I’m just somebody who wants to root for you.”

You stared at him for a minute, unaware that tears had pushed their way through. You hugged him tightly. “What would I do without you, Jiminie?”

He hummed. “Yeah. I love you, too.”

******

Jungkook

“‘Hello, Dr. Sakai!” A pair of nurses greet one of the residents checking in for her shift.

“Hi!” She responds cheerfully as she walks past them to proceed to the lockers. As soon as she crosses the threshold, she is stopped dead in her tracks.

“What the–what are you doing here?”

“Hello to you, too, Mayumi.” Jungkook chuckles as he shuts his locker and adjusts his lab coat. “I work here, remember?” 

She shook her head. “Sorry, I didn’t mean it like that. I thought you weren’t due back for another couple days?”

He shrugged. “Trip ended early.” His tone is clipped, with a slight edge to it. He stretches his shoulders and his neck–as if getting ready for battle. After landing an hour ago, he picked up a shift at the hospital and jumped right into work. Thankful for the time difference, at least he could keep his mind occupied for a few hours.

“Oh-kay,” Mayumi said slowly as she stared at Jungkook suspiciously.

“What?” He raised his eyebrows at her.

“Nothing!” She says dismissively. “I guess I’ll see you in a couple minutes for rounds, yeah?”

“Yep,” he says wryly before walking away.

******

After rounds, Mayumi and Jungkook hang out by the nurse’s station to finish up their patient notes. Mayumi keeps glancing at Jungkook, who was deeply invested in a patient’s post-op tonsillectomy.

“You’re being very detailed about that case,” she remarks.

“Oh you know, just making sure we cover all the bases. Wouldn’t want a medical malpractice suit because we had sparse notes,” he says dryly.

“Riiiiight,” she drags out. “Because our legal department is teeming with suits from tonsillectomies that have gone awry.”

He sighed briefly, nose still buried into his notes. “You know, there was a fairly recent case from this state–it was supposed to be a simple, routine procedure–and then the patient fell into a coma. Well…not on my watch!”

Mayumi rolls her eyes. “By the way–thank you for the consult a couple days ago. I’m sorry I kept bugging you with calls during your vacation.”

“I didn’t mind at all. Did the additional heavy metal tox screen turn up results?”

She nodded. “You were right. I really thought it was lupus but we went back to your heavy metal poisoning theory. We only kept ruling it out before because none of the initial tests came back with useful results–at least, nothing on the usual heavy metal suspects: lead, cadmium, mercury. Then I did as you suggested–expanded the test to the other metals.” She paused for dramatic effect. “Gold sodium thiomalate, if you can believe it? It was from their arthritis medication.”

He looked up, chuckling softly, pleased with himself. “Hm, interesting. That ingredient is not even approved to be used in arthritis medication in this country so…they must have acquired it from somewhere else.”

“Yep! They eventually confessed that their insurance wouldn’t cover the prescription so they went by other means.”

He nods vaguely. Happy that he was able to get a diagnosis correctly–even from afar. He turned back to his notes.

“You know–I envy you so much. Out of our cohort, you have the best instincts,” Mayumi remarked.

He scoffs. “Sure. Instincts,” he repeats blandly.

“Yeah. You take one look at a patient and your mind’s already running through a list of potential diagnoses. You already know what to do.”

He hums, turning back to his notes, not really having anything else to offer Mayumi. Tired of his standoffish attitude this morning, she finally shuts the clipboard flap of one of her patients’ records and turns her full attention to him.

She asks him point-blank. “Okay, dude…do I have to ask?”

“No idea what you’re talking about, Yumi,” Jungkook says without lifting his eyes off his clinical notes.

Mayumi snorts. “Seriously? You’re going to try and deflect now? After your moping and pouting during rounds?”

He sighs heavily, “I was not moping or pouting,” he protested quietly. He scratches his head, intent on remaining distracted.

Mayumi wouldn’t let up. “Did you not get laid this week or—“

Still not looking up from his notes, he cleared his throat uncomfortably.

Judging by his reaction, her mouth grew into a wide grin. “Ahh…so you did. But something else happened…and that’s why you’re back early, throwing yourself into work so you don’t have to lick your wounds for long.”

He exhales sharply and finally turns to her. “Yumi, it doesn’t matter, okay? Now come on, help me clean up the notes here. Your handwriting is shit, by the way.”

She laughs and stops teasing him but makes a mental note to bring it up again later. Just then, their attending rounds them up again to discuss an ongoing case.

******

YN

Back at the hospital, you were just waiting for all paperwork to be signed and the doctor to give his final sign-off before your dad was free to go.

As you exit your dad’s room, you find Taehyung sitting in the hallway, scrolling through his phone. He looks up and gives you a small smile when you sit next to him.

He looked tired–like he had been up all night. You knew because you barely got any sleep too. You basically just laid in bed, with your eyes closed but still fully aware of your surroundings.

“How are you?”

He chuckled bitterly then sighed. “I’m alive. How ‘bout you?”

You smiled sadly. “I’m alright.”

His smile faded. “Are you, really?”

You shrugged. “It’s not like I can change the past, Tae. But at least I got answers to my questions,” you say wryly.

He lowered his head in his hands and rubbed his eyes. “What a mess I’ve made, huh?”

Your eyebrows knitted at him. “Oh Tae,” you say sympathetically. 

“YN, I’m so sorry…”

“Sorry for what? You didn’t do anything.”

“I’m sorry for…not fighting hard enough for you. For not… choosing you.”

You sighed. “Taehyungie, I did not make you choose. I made the choice. I knew how much Haru meant to you. I didn’t want to put you in a tough spot.”

“Still…I feel bad about it. My best friend and my fiancée…I…” He shook his head, at a loss for words. After a long beat, he wonders, “You think she lied to protect Haru?”

“Oh God, no!” Your reaction was instantaneous. “But…if anything? I think that she was protecting your friendship with Haru.” You moistened your lips before continuing. “He was there for you when your mom died. Dad told me back then that he was the only one who could get you talking and playing again. Jennie knows how special that connection was and didn’t want to come between that. And…neither did I when I decided to move away.”

He sighed heavily. “What she did…you know, lying about it? I think what hurt more wasn’t really the betrayal, but it was more the idea of her thinking that I couldn’t handle the truth…or that I didn’t have the emotional capacity to manage my feelings if she had told me about it.”

“Would it have changed your mind about pursuing a relationship with her if she had just told you from the outset?” You asked him.

He pursed his lips and shrugged. “I mean…I don’t know. I obviously can’t answer that now,” he says vaguely. “But…I still would have liked to be given the opportunity to make that decision for myself–instead of her deciding for me.”

You exhaled deeply, silently agreeing with him. “Have you talked to her?”

He shook his head slowly. “She’s texted me some but–I don’t know what to say to her. I…don’t know if I should even talk to her.”

“How come?”

“It just feels wrong,” he says quickly.

“What feels wrong?” You pressed him. As his sister, who loved him unconditionally as if you’d shared the same DNA–you understood that he would stew, go in circles and beat himself up about this unless you made it clear to him that he would not be disrespecting you in any way if he chose to make things work. All you wanted was for Taehyung to be happy.

He shrugged, not wanting to answer the question. “Is it because–you’re worried about how I would feel if you tried to patch things up with her?”

He raised his head and looked at you with sad eyes, confirming your theory.

“Tyeongie…” You tilted your head gently and faced him. “Listen to me. Whatever happened to Haru and I–that’s all done. We were over when I arrived at the beginning of the week and it has remained that way even after the truth came out.”

“But Jennie–”

“Jennie did what she thought was right at the time.” You cleared your throat and decided to tell Taehyung that you spoke to her. “She…sought me out, you know…last night. And we talked. She apologized and…I’ve made peace with it.”

His expression softens.

“You know, you and Jennie–what you two have is the real thing. What she did hurt me, yes. But neither you, me, nor she can change that fact. I see how much she loves you; she takes good care of you; and I see how happy she makes you. I understand that you’re conflicted–she hurt me but you still love her–those are both valid feelings.”

He leaned his head back against the wall and sighed, chewing at his bottom lip. You reached up to him and squeezed his cheek gently, making him smile a little.

“Do you feel differently than when you did back when you made that whole speech about your love for her growing and evolving?” You asked him.

He shook his head quietly.

“Okay so…talk to her,” You urged him. “Answer her texts and her calls. Because trust me,” you clutched your chest, “It would absolutely rip me apart if I took your happiness away from you. What kind of a sister would I be?”

He chuckled. “You know, it’s funny–Jungkook said something similar to me when we spoke, after I dropped him off at the hotel last night. About–feeling torn between two polarizing feelings.”

You forced a smile. The topic of Jungkook was still a sore spot for you. “Well, I guess great minds think alike,” you joked.

He nodded. “Have you talked to him yet?”

You start to internally panic. “Uhm, n-no. He’s…he’s dealing with a complicated case so…I’m waiting for him to come off that. I don’t want to stress him out.”

“I really like him for you, you know. He’s different–I can tell. It’s like…all he wants is for you to be happy. He’s the perfect guy for you. In fact, he couldn’t be more perfect if you’d picked him out of a catalog,” he chuckled.

You gulped, feeling a pang of guilt. You suddenly feel the urge to come clean to your brother.

“Tae–I need to tell you something about Jungkook and I.”

“Hm? And what’s that?”

You let out a shaky breath. “Uhm…J-Jungkook is–

“Freedom!” You are both startled when your dad yells triumphantly as he is wheeled out of his room by your mom. 

Taehyung beams as he stands up to approach him, seemingly forgetting about the last thing you said.

You smiled warmly, approaching your dad and crouching down to kiss him on the cheek. He wraps you both in a tight embrace–as if you were still little kids–kissing the tops of your heads.

“Let’s go, kiddos! I’ve been itching to get out of here.”

********

Jungkook

“So…did she not pay you enough or—“

“Geez, Mayumi!” He whispered harshly through gritted teeth, trying to shush her. “Someone could hear you.” He glanced around the cafeteria. It was a few minutes after the lunch rush so it was relatively quiet.

“Dude, I’ve told you before, there’s nothing to be ashamed of. I’m sure a lot of people here have done crazier, possibly worse things than being an escort to put themselves through med school,” she mutters, before they settle into a table in the corner. She takes a bite of her salad.

//FLASHBACK

Mayumi and Jungkook have spent many nights together during their early med-school years. Jungkook took night classes while he moonlighted as an escort. Some nights, he’d show up to class out of breath, as if he’d just run a marathon–with his hair all brushed up, cologne in full-force. His first question was always, ‘What’d I miss?’

Jungkook wasn’t a slacker. In fact, he was a very diligent student and she didn’t mind filling him in or lending him notes sometimes. She just noticed that he sometimes had poor time management skills. At the time, she didn’t think it was her place to criticize him. She wasn’t his mother. After a while, she really didn’t think much of it until he showed up to class in a suit. She thought it was an isolated incident until he did it two more times.

It was a little jarring for her, to say the least and being inherently curious, she finally asked him about it while they were at the library trying to figure out an assignment.

“Can I ask you a question?”

“Uh–sure,” he answered tentatively.

“Do you have, like, another job or something?”

“W-what makes you think that?”

“Oh, you know–you always seem like you’re rushing into class. Sometimes, very formally dressed,” she states.

He chuckled nervously. “I’m sure a lot of us work while we go to night school,” he mumbles.

“Riiight,” she drags out. “Your job seems very high-end, though.”

He scoffed again as he looked up from a medical journal that he was perusing. “Just because I’m in a suit, I’m high-end? I could be working a catering job.” 

“Not with those Gucci lace-ups you had the other day, you’re not.”

Jungkook’s eyebrow quirks ever-so-slightly, trying his best not to give anything away.

“What do you know?” He says quietly.

They stare at each other in silence. Mayumi, with a smirk playing on her lips. “I also saw you the other night at the parking lot getting dropped off by a town car.”

“I could have just asked someone for a favor.”

“Mm-hm. How would you account for your thousand-dollar shoes?”

“Consignment store, for all you know,” he argued.

He had a point. Living in a city with a high cost of living rate, if you are patient enough to search, you can find a treasure trove of bougie designer digs. “‘Kay,” she says sarcastically. “What about that Cartier trinity bracelet you have on now?” Her eyes flick downward at his wrist.

He mirrors her action and tries to cover it up with his shirt sleeve. To the untrained eye, it looked like a cheap, plain, nylon corded bracelet. But the metal rings that held it together were gold, platinum, and rose gold–worth way beyond the means of a med student on ‘financial aid’.

“Oh yeah…I like nice things, too, you know,” she smiled. Mayumi may be on financial aid, too–but she appreciated looking at fancy things.

He glared at her and lowered his voice. “It’s not what you think,” Jungkook mutters dismissively and turns his attention back to his medical journal.

They fall silent again. Mayumi’s wheels turning at Jungkook’s answer for each of her queries. ”I have a theory,” she declares.

“Oh yeah? Congratulations,” he says sarcastically.

“My guess? Is that you have a sugar momma.”

Jungkook snorts. “You couldn’t be more wrong.” He tries to sound dismissive but shifts uncomfortably while he turns back to the article that he was reading about ‘palliative care.’

Mayumi sees his discomfort and puckered her lips. “But I’m close, aren’t I? Come on…we’re clearly in this for a few years. I need some sort of excitement in my life other than memorizing a list of infectious diseases alphabetically.”

“Can’t you just pick up a hobby or something? What are you picking on me for?” He says, getting irritated.

“I can keep a secret,” she says to him point-blank. “And…if you want to bum off my notes on the intrinsic cardiac nervous system–complete with detailed illustrations–you have to pay the piper first.”

Honestly, Jungkook didn’t need the detailed illustration–he knew he had much better anatomical drawings than Mayumi. But…he was desperate for those notes. He missed that lesson because one of his dates ran longer than expected so he couldn’t leave in time to make his class. And nobody else cared enough to lend him their notes except for Mayumi.

He shuts the medical journal and looks around to make sure that nobody was listening in. “Fine. But I need you to have an open mind about it, deal?”

She stuck her hand out and he clasps it in a handshake.

//END FLASHBACK

“I’m not ashamed,” Jungkook says as sets his tray down. “I just don’t want my business out there for everyone else to pick apart, you know?”

“Seriously though, how many people can say they barely have any student debt at this stage, huh? You did that,” she points to him. She drags a third chair towards her to prop her foot on it while she continues to dig into her lunch. “I wish I could make a dent in my student loans,” she chuckled humorlessly. “I’m sure Hyunjung is regretting buying me a ring instead of making a loan payment.”

Jungkook snorted. “Please. That guy would move heaven and earth for you. And don’t pretend you don’t love said ring,” he points out before taking a bite of his lunch.

She sighed dreamily. “It is a pretty ring,” she admits. Mayumi and her fiance had just gotten engaged a couple weeks before Jungkook left for his trip.

After a moment of silence and a few bites, Jungkook asks, “Was it everything you hoped for?”

She looks up from her phone at the sound of the question. “What do you mean? Getting engaged?” She regards him curiously.

“Well…that and,” he gestures with his hand vaguely, “…Your relationship in general. I mean, how did you know that Hyunjung was the one? What made you say ‘yes’?”

She takes a moment to think about it before answering. “I mean, I love him, obviously. But—was our relationship everything that I hoped for? The short answer is ‘no,’ if I’m taking your question literally. It’s not everything, because that’s just impossible to achieve and completely unrealistic. I only hoped to find someone who’d love me enough to want to be with me for the rest of their natural life. And if you’re the religious kind, possibly the next life, too.” She answered.

He nods vaguely then chugs his water down, wishing it was a beer or something stronger instead.

She watched him carefully, waiting for him to open up further about how this week went.

“You ever think someone could see past…my past? Like, forget all that existed and just see me for who I am now?”

She smiled sympathetically at him. “Kookie, your past is a part of you. It’s part of your present and will still be part of your future. When you start separating a person from their experiences, that’s when they stop becoming whole. So, if someone can’t accept the whole you, then, maybe they don’t deserve you.”

He pursed his lips and turned pensive.

“I thought she was picking up what I was putting down,” he muttered.

Mayumi smiled triumphantly. “Did you actually tell her how you felt?” She asks.

“I mean…I asked her out,” he answers.

She let out a laugh. “So? That doesn’t mean anything!”

“What do you mean? Asking her out meant that I was showing her that I was interested!”

She rolled her eyes in an exaggerated manner. “Jungkook, unless you explicitly tell them how you feel–despite how obvious you are–an invitation to a date is a prelude. Just enough to garner expectations. Expectations…that may or may not even get fulfilled!”

Now it was his turn to roll his eyes at her but lowered his voice. “Don’t you think I know how to fulfill women’s expectations? Shit, I did it for years! And I have actual written testimonies that prove it!”

She scoffed at his arrogance. “Those were jobs. You were obligated to do it! Now, you’re talking about something in a completely different setting and context.”

“I thought I was being explicit about how I felt,” he argued strongly.

She narrowed her eyes at him. “Have you actually been in a serious relationship before?”

“Yes, I have!” He countered.

“And how long ago was that?”

He thought back to his pre-escort days, sighing in defeat. It was quite a while ago.

“Like I said,” Mayumi makes her point in between bites of her lunch. “Is that the reason why you left? I thought you wanted, quote-unquote, ‘one last ride,’” she says, mocking his voice.

He grimaced. “I thought it was going well at first…seemed like we were on the same page.” He balled up his napkin and lobbed it right into the garbage bin.

“And then–I don’t know what happened. It’s like, everything that I had done and told her–it all went to shit. I let my guard down, got all vulnerable, only to have it all thrown at my face in the end.”

Mayumi cocked her head slightly and gave him a sympathetic look. “Have you two talked since?”

He shook his head. Emotions were running high that evening. YN was reeling from her ex and her friend’s betrayal. It was a lot to take in. He knew within him that her anger was misplaced…and he was willing to put that aside until she called him names.

That’s what you are. A liar.

“Our last day ended in chaos, to say the least.”

He goes on to give Mayumi highlights of what happened that day and how emotionally charged everything was.

“So, I just…left,” he finishes.

“Maybe it’s just taking longer for the dust to settle for her. Not to make excuses but, that seems like a lot for one person to take in one night.”

“I get that. I guess…I overestimated the level of trust that we built in those last couple days.”

Mayumi sighed. “Kookie–you can’t expect trust to just bloom within a matter of days. And, can I play devil's advocate here? I get that she started out as a client for you but if you wanted to take things to the next level, I feel like you should have given her a bit more room for error, don’t you agree?”

He pouted his lips and thought about it for a few seconds before begrudgingly acknowledging her point. “I guess.”

“Buuut–I also understand that some hurtful words were exchanged. That’s an equally difficult position to be in.” She eyed him silently. “Welp…it’s like what you always say whenever we stress over a case: if at the end of the day, you’d still rather give up than try, then nothing’s ever going to be worth it.”

He exhales glumly, right before their pagers go off and they start scrambling out of the cafeteria.

******

YN

Days later, you flew back home without incident. When you arrived at the airport, a familiar face welcomed you.

“Hey babe.” Cristina says softly after she pulls up to the curb. She popped her trunk and asked if you needed help with your things. You shook your head gently and proceeded to load up your luggage in the back.

She gave you a smile and a hug when you slid into the passenger seat before pulling into the flow of traffic. It was a 10-minute drive which you spent quietly staring out the window.

You arrive at your home, leaving your things by the doorway. You mumbled your thanks to Cristina before heading straight to your bedroom.

She followed shortly, finding you curled up on your side. You hear her sigh before feeling the mattress sink as she sits on it.

“Do you want to talk about it, YN?” She rubs your back soothingly.

With a sniffle, you answered, “No…not yet.”

You didn’t see her nod but you felt her lay next to you. She held you for however long that was…until you were all cried out for the night.

******

A few days later, you had just wrapped up an off-site client meeting within the city and were headed to your lunch date with Cristina. She waved you over by the outdoor patio as you came around the block.

“Hey babe! Love that color on you,” she comments on your outfit.

You gave her a small smile. Cristina wouldn’t compliment anyone if she didn’t mean it. It was one of the things you loved about her. You knew you’d made a friend for life when she  told you how garish your shoes were during a holiday party with your company partners and subsidiaries.

To be fair, the shoes were an impulse purchase. You had just moved to a new city–barely a month into your new job and was going through one of your waves of homesickness and self-pity. A dangerous combination. You ended up buying these ridiculously bright green Bottega Venetta sandals with curly telephone-cord straps. You were ashamed to admit how much you spent on them. But Cristina, being the great lawyer that she was, came up with a compelling argument to the sales representative at customer service when you returned them.

“Thanks for meeting me. Sorry I’ve been such a lump.” You gave her a quick hug and air-kisses.

“That’s alright. I’m always up for good food and even better company,” she says with a smile after you both take your seat. “Maybe even some juicy conversations, if you are so inclined.”

You laughed. “I thought we were just going to have a nice lunch?”

She gives you a deadpan look. “YN–come on…you’re due for a good bitch-session. It’s been, what? Close to a week since you got back?”

You shifted on your seat uncomfortably. You remembered the day she picked you up from the airport. You didn’t have the strength to talk about things then. Although you had talked to your family, you couldn’t be as open as you liked...especially about Jungkook, even though you’ve alluded to the situation in every conversation you’ve had with Jimin and Taehyung. Your family had this picture-perfect idea of what your life is like now and were more concerned about you reeling from the big Haru-Jennie betrayal situation–which, if you were being honest, now seems to pale in comparison to your blowup with Jungkook.

Cristina knew everything–everything you wouldn’t dare tell your family. How you fell into a depression after you and Haru split up and the instant regret and resentment you felt when you chose to leave home. She knew about your whole arrangement with Jungkook and from your reaction, would deduce how far things got before it all went to shit. You could be completely open with her and she would listen.

She leans back on her seat and spreads her arms wide. “So, come, come. Lay it on me!”

You looked at her, chuckling. God, you missed her. “Okay well–can we at least order first?” You say, while perusing the menu.

After your drinks and appetizers were served, you went on to narrate how your week started…and ultimately ended. You gave her vague, real-time updates throughout but haven’t been able to fill her in until after your dad’s medical emergency.

“Holy shit,” she breathed out, eyes wide.

“Now you know why I needed some time to decompress.”

She sighed. “Well…seems like you’ve gotten enough pep-talks from your family.”

You twisted your mouth wryly. “I guess,” you say, noncommittal. “Even after all that, I still feel like shit. I couldn’t really talk to them about it because…where would I even begin? And for starters, I haven’t even gathered up the courage to talk to Jungkook and apologize before he left.” Your heart turns over painfully in your chest when you confess your next words to her. “I don’t know how.”

Cristina continued to watch you, listening intently.

“I’m an idiot. I lashed out at him…called him names. I don’t know how I can face him. And–” you paused for a minute–suddenly deciding to switch gears and huffed out, “Maybe it’s better this way, you know? God, how did I think things would pan out between me…and an escort? And I’m not saying it to be judgemental but–he’s…like, perfect, in every way. And I’m…” you chuckled bitterly, “I’m just me. Everyone back home couldn’t believe that I landed him–and, in reality, I didn’t! I’m a fucking fraud, Cris!”

She let you ramble on. Go into your little episode–just to get it out of your system before she hits you with a dose of reality. “Have you forgiven Haru?”

Your little pity party comes to a halt with her question. You sighed and lifted a shoulder. “Yeah,” you say tentatively.

“And Jennie? Have you forgiven her?”

You sighed heavily. “Yes.” You wondered where she was going with this.

“Okay so–you’ve found it in your heart to forgive these people who have wronged you and now you have wronged someone; you’re consumed by guilt because of it. And yet–you’re telling me that you’re afraid to ask forgiveness…because you’re assuming they won’t forgive you?”

“I just told you that I basically dumped a year’s worth of emotional baggage on the guy. A guy who–” You sighed. “A guy who seemed like he was ready to accept me for all of my faults and imperfections. Someone who was actually being honest with me…and I just spat in his face.” You shrugged your shoulders. “Some things are just unforgivable.”

Cristina cocked her head to the side and looked at you, her gaze softening. “And you say that because…you have trouble forgiving yourself, too?”

You stared at her dumbfounded. “Sometimes it’s not that simple. I…have way too many issues…I’m emotionally unstable–”

“Right, but shouldn’t you at least try? Just like your conversation with Tae…try and let Jungkook make that call? Whether or not to forgive you?”

You sighed heavily, shaking your head. “I…I don’t know.” 

“Every woman has the exact love life that she wants,” she declares suddenly.

You scrunch your face in confusion. “What?”

“Every woman has the exact love life that she wants,” she repeats. “That’s what my guy told me.”

“Your…guy?” You echoed, still confused.

“Yeah. My guy,” she cocked her eyebrow knowingly at you as she takes a sip of her drink.

When you don't connect the dots quickly enough, she presses on. “Remember my last vacation?”

“Y-yeah–” you say slowly. Cristina took a solo trip not so long ago–she was at an impasse at her job and desperately needed a break. She ended up booking a trip to Europe for two weeks. She regaled you with her shopping haul, food diaries, stories about her swimming in the Mediterranean, and her serene cobblestone street strolls.

“Are you talking about that Euro-fling that you had?” You vaguely remember her glossing over it–amongst other highlights from her trip.

“Yep. I hired him,” she says matter-of-factly.

Your eyes bulge and jaw drops at her revelation. “You said you hooked up at some club in Ibiza!”

“Weeeeell…” her voice dragged and went up an octave. “That was half-true. We did hook up at a club in Ibiza…among the many,” she puffed out her cheeks and exhaled for emphasis, sounding nostalgic, “...many things that we did on that trip.” She bit her bottom lip, wishing she could be transported back to relive those memories.

You recalled a few months ago–right as you were trying to book Jungkook on the app–she mentioned a ‘very reputable source’ who could vouch for the service’s guarantee of 100% satisfaction.

Eyes still wide, you absently picked up your glass and took a big gulp of water. This was hardly a conversation for lunch but–nothing was ever off-limits for Cristina.

“Got the tip from a senior partner–who will remain nameless. And I figured, hey, I’m spending time abroad to relax, take some time to think…but I’m also sexually frustrated so I didn’t mind paying for a hot, attractive man who was guaranteed to worship me while I was doing my soul-searching.”

“Oh my god, Cris!” You almost spit out your water.

She giggled, lifting her shoulders. “What? Don’t act like you didn’t enjoy those perks,” she grinned mischievously at you.

You looked away from her briefly and twisted your lips wryly. She cackled out loud.

When she calmed down, she continued, “Besides, the whole idea of going on vacation with someone, no strings attached…not having to deal with the awkwardness of getting into bed with them and without the exaggerated expectations after? What’s not to like?”

“I’m…kind of shocked but not surprised,” you remarked.

“And not to mention they’ve already been carefully vetted! I felt completely safe with him and had no trouble trusting him.”

You latched on to that last part of her comment. Trust. Safety.

She laughed. “It was great! I mean–not just the sex but, we had some pretty deep conversations, too. One thing he told me was that ‘every woman has the exact love life that she wants.’ And I agree with that assessment.”

You scoffed. “Cris, do you honestly believe that I want to be single and miserable?”

She looks at you point-blank. “YN, when you’re ready to be un-single and un-miserable–to take that leap–then, yeah. You will have the love life that you want. But until then…” she trailed off.

You let out a deep breath, letting her words sink in.

“And you know what? By the end of our…arrangement, we knew where we stood since we both made our expectations clear from the beginning. I get that it’s not exactly the same as your current situation with your guy but–the fact remains–you need to be clear about where you stand. You can’t just leave things like that even if you haven’t really established any sort of relationship. As a person? You at least owe it to both of you to close this loop.”

******

On your way back from lunch with Cristina, you checked your emails on your phone. There was nothing pressing nor did you have any pending meetings scheduled for the rest of the afternoon so you tell your assistant that you’re leaving for the day.

You thought more about her advice. Before everything blew up in your face, you were intent on pursuing this relationship. And truthfully, you still wanted to–you had his phone number, you could very well call him and apologize–and mean it.

You hated how things ended after they were just starting to look promising. You couldn’t just pick up where you left off. You needed to make things right. You decided within yourself that you’d bite the bullet and just call him when you got home. You’d grovel, if you needed to.

Just then, your phone pings with an alert telling you that there is an accident a few blocks away–at the street where you usually make a turn to head home. 

You curse under your breath and take the long way home instead. It wasn’t ideal but you also didn’t want to get stuck in traffic when you just wanted to get into your pajamas and curl up on your couch with that nice bottle of rose you had chilling in the fridge.

You take the next exit and stop at the next intersection. This was the reason why you don’t usually take this route–it’s because the lights here take ages to change.

You sighed, tapping your fingers impatiently at the steering wheel, mentally noting how much this neighborhood has changed.

You look right up ahead and see an ‘H’ sign for one of the local hospitals.

Another reason why you didn’t take this way coming home–because ambulances always gave you anxiety.

When the light turns green, you drive straight and approach your detour street. Another light…great. As you wait for it to change, you glance up at the hospital building on the opposite side of the street ahead.

You blink a few times, remembering something. When the cars in front of you start to move, you straighten up on your seat and grip your steering wheel hard–you’re about to pull a U-turn.

******

You sat in your car, hyperventilating in the visitor parking lot.

There really was no logical reason for you to be at this hospital. You thought about reversing the car as soon as you got to the parking lot attendant to claim a ticket–but there was another car waiting behind you so you had no choice but to proceed.

This is insane!

Of course it was. And damn your weird memory–for forgetting routine meetings and other regular run-of-the-mill errands that you had to list religiously on your phone to remind you of them.

But when it comes to random, oddball information that you’ve only glossed over once–things normal people wouldn’t think to ever deem essential in their daily life–you remember. Like, which celebrity has dated whom; who won the Academy Award for Best Actress this year; who designed Beyonce’s dress from 2014…and which hospital Jungkook worked at.

Should you have called first?

Of course you should have. That’s what normal people do. Stalkers randomly showed up at people’s jobs without their knowledge.

Too late now–you were walking through the sliding doors and up to the general information desk.

Maybe he’s not even here. He never got a chance to tell you much about his work–like what shift he worked. It was the middle of the afternoon–he could be in the middle of a procedure.  You could leave a note or a message for him.

“Hello, how can I help you?” The staff greets you.

“Hi. Uhm, I’m here to see one of your doctors. Jeon. Jeon Jungkook?” You chuckled to yourself at how that all came out like a ‘Bond. James Bond’ intro.

“Oh, ok. Are they expecting you?”

“Not quite. It’s kind of a…spur-of-the-moment thing and I happened to be in the area.”

Just when the staff starts looking at you suspiciously, you quickly add, “He, uh–helped my dad with a medical emergency recently. Dr. Jeon mentioned that he worked at this hospital but I don’t know what department he’s in. I just–wanted to thank him personally.” You give her your most sincere smile. 

She tilted her head, endeared. “Aw–that’s so amazing to hear! I hope your dad’s doing better?”

“He is, thank you. Uh, h-he does work here, right?”

She starts looking flustered and clears her throat. Geez. You know the feeling all too well.

“Yes, he does,” she says, punctuating every word as she checks on her computer. “I just started my shift and he typically leaves as I’m coming in so–he might have left for the day…”

Okay, so maybe you’ll just leave him a message.

“Oh–hang on…I guess he scrubbed into a procedure earlier. Looks like he’s still around for post-op. Would you like me to page him for you?”

You considered it. How would this person code this page anyway? ‘Former disgruntled client looking to make amends?’ Sure. That would go really well.

“Uhm–sure. Maybe just say that a former patient is here to see him.”

“Okay, sure,” she says, keying in your message. “Would you like to know which floor he's on?”

******

You got off the fifth floor elevators, as the receptionist directed you.

Your heart was pounding and weren’t sure if this would work. Would he turn you away? Tell you to fuck off?

You mentally cringed as multiple scenarios raced through your head. You sure deserved it, after everything you unleashed at him that night. Ambushing him at his work would not help your cause.

You wander over to the nurse’s station and find a woman in her scrubs, filling out some paperwork. As you pass her to walk to the waiting area right across, she sees you out of the corner of her eye.

“Hi, can I help you?” She had a friendly smile.

“Hi,” you greeted her back. “I was hoping to talk to one of your staff. I think they paged him downstairs and I was told that I could wait here”

“Oh,” she says. “Are you family or—“

“N-no. He, uh, saved my dad’s life and I just wanted to say thank-you.”

She smiled warmly at you. “How long ago was he paged? I could send him a text so he could get here sooner?”

“There’s no rush, really,” you say to her. “I’m showing up unannounced and he could be in the middle of something.”

Her eyebrows knitted slightly. “Can you tell me again who you’re here to see?”

You cleared your throat. “I’m here to see Dr. Jeon.”

“And–your dad was a patient of his?” She asks slowly.

“N-not quite. We were at a wedding and–he happened to be the only doctor in the room,” you explained.

“A wedding, you said?”

This woman seemed to be awfully curious. You nodded apprehensively. “Yes,” you say slowly.

Suddenly, her eyes light up. “Hold on a minute–I’ll page him again for you,” she says with a slight smile.

“Thank you.”

******

Jungkook

“Hey, Mr. Pyun. How are you feeling?”

“Ah–Dr. Jeon! I feel good as new,” his patient croaks out. He was just transported back to his room after being in recovery for an hour for close monitoring, post-op. “I can’t wait to take my wife dancing after this.

“Aish, let’s not rush things, yeobo,” his wife says.

“I asked her to play some music. My grandson showed me how to use this bluetooth speaker box thing,” he chuckled. 

“Good to know the pain medication is working,” Jungkook’s attending remarks.

Jungkook chuckles as he checks on his patient’s vitals while his attending continues to discuss what to expect in the next few hours as her husband recovers.

Call me irresponsible, his patient began to sing along to the track while heavily medicated.

Jungkook pauses his checks as memories flood him. The dancing. The touches. The eye contact.

Don’t go there. Do not go there. You need to forget about her, he thought to himself.

He tried to bury Mayumi’s words but they still kept ringing in his head like the heart monitor pulsing right next to him.

“Yeobo, remember when we danced to this at our wedding?” his patient slurred as his wife gives him a warm smile.

Jungkook’s pager beeps just as he writes down his patient’s last blood pressure reading, effectively pulling him out of his reverie. He reaches around his hip to retrieve it. It was from Mayumi, asking to meet by the nurse’s station.

“Dr. Ahn, could I be excused? Dr. Sakai needs me for a consult.” 

“Of course. Nice work today, Dr. Jeon.”

“Thank you, Dr. Ahn.” Jungkook bows to his attending before he leaves the room.

He marches down the hall and towards the nurse’s station. He sees Mayumi standing off to the side, having a conversation with someone whose back was turned at him.

Her eyes flick up at him when she sees him approach.

“Hey, Yumi, what do you—“

The woman she was talking to sees Mayumi look over her shoulder, prompting her to turn around. His eyes widen–like a deer in headlights.

“Hi. Can we talk?”

******

YN

You both sat on opposite sides at the empty waiting area. He was slightly apprehensive at first since neither of you had contact in a few days. Much to your relief, he acquiesced.

“How did you find me?”

“I just remembered–from when you showed me your work badge before. I also happened to get rerouted to this neighborhood because there were some road closures on my usual way home,” you explained.

He nods in silence.

You straightened out, exhaling sharply. “Look, I don’t want to waste your time since you’re probably really busy, and I’m sorry to drop in like this without warning.”

“You could have called,” he interrupts.

You purse your lips and nod. “I could have. But–truthfully, I didn’t think you’d want to hear from me again after…you know, everything.” Nervously, you glanced down at the floor, unable to look him in the eye, trying to forget about all of the awful things you said to him. 

You took a beat to compose yourself before looking back up at him. “I’m here because, firstly, I wanted to thank you again for helping my dad. He’s doing much better–as if nothing happened.“ You tried to sound lighthearted about it.

“I’m glad to hear that,” he says softly.

You gave him a small, uncomfortable smile before continuing. “So…a-after you left the hotel, Jennie came to me to clear the air. She explained that you had nothing to do with…the whole situation.”

“I could have told you that,” he says curtly.

You swallowed the lump in your throat. “I realize that.”

“You can project, you can vent–that’s part of what I do. That’s why I was there for you. But to accuse me? That…seems unfair.”

“I know, and I –I really fucked that up. I was emotional and…” you paused and sighed heavily, “…there’s just no excuse for it. I wasn’t thinking straight.”

He nodded and remained silent, prompting you to continue.

“I wanted to apologize to you, in person. I didn’t think it would come off clearly through text or over the phone. And I know that I can’t take back what I said and I won’t make any excuses for it. My anger was sorely misplaced and I should not have taken it out on you…” You swallowed hard. “...But I did. And I realized that you were put in a really tough position. It was wrong of me to fault you for it without hearing you out. For all of that, I’m sorry, Jungkook,” you finished.

He regarded you intently, letting your words sink in. After a long pause, his face softens and he finally says, “Thank you. I appreciate the apology…and, I’m sorry, too. For the things I said. It was a shitty situation all around.”

You nodded, acknowledging it–although, you weren’t sure if he even needed to apologize since at the time, he was only giving you a reality check.

Feeling completely awkward yet somehow relieved, you took it as your queue to leave. You gripped your purse and stood up from your seat. He gets up as well. “That was all and…thank you for hearing me out.”

You’ve said your piece and can finally start to move on from this. You wanted to say more–all thoughts that Jimin, Taehyung, and Cristina have been drilling into your head...and the money that he left behind.

A few days ago, you thought this relationship held promise but judging by the look on his face, you thought it wasn’t the right time to push that topic. You waited too long and now that window has closed.

“Anyway, I’m–sorry to keep you from work.” You held your hand out to him for a handshake. Odd to be all formal this time around considering everything that you shared…everything that you did together. But you weren’t in that bubble anymore. You were back in the real world.

Thinking he would leave you hanging, you thought of withdrawing your hand but to your surprise, he places his hand in yours, thumb lightly brushing over your skin. The simple touch shot through you like a surge of electricity. Your pulse shot up when his grip tightened.

You maintained eye contact, as if playing a game of ‘chicken.’ Which of you would let go first? He swallowed audibly while you cleared your throat. You decided it was going to be you.

You withdrew from his hold. “I should get going,” you whispered.

“Right.” He kept his eyes on you but his facial expression was unreadable.

Keeping a firm grip on your purse’s strap, you said goodbye to him–for the last time. “Bye,” you breathed out before turning away from him to walk back towards the elevators. You dared not to look back–afraid of what else you might say or do.

When you reached the end of the hallway, you pressed the ‘down’ button. The elevator dings and the doors open. But right before you step in, you hear your name called out.

“YN, wait!”

You turned around to see Jungkook jogging back to reach you. “I’ve got a break coming up…if you still want to talk?”

******

You settled into one of the booths at the hospital cafeteria. It was an odd time so there weren’t many people lingering, save for a couple of hospital staff and random people who wore ‘visitor’ stickers on their clothing.

You noted how completely different he looked in this setting. He was out of his suit, he took his lip piercing out and wore a long-sleeve henley underneath his scrubs, presumably not to distract patients with his ornate tattoos. His hair was brushed back–not with product as you were used to seeing but you figured it stuck to his head like that because of his scrub cap.

“Were you coming from work?” He asks after glancing at your tailored pants and more formal-looking top. He looked relaxed but somewhat tired, leaning against the wall on the side, his legs stretched out on the seat.

“Sort of. I was at the office then met my friend for a late lunch. Afterwards, I didn’t have any other appointments so I decided to call it a day.” You sat hunched over with your elbows resting on the table, wishing you could be as chill as he was.

“The good ol’ corporate world,” he says, tilting his head backwards with a sigh.

“Yeah. Were you coming off a procedure?”

He nodded. “Yeah. It was a little complicated but my patient pulled through. He’s recovering well.”

And you both fall silent again.

“How’s Taehyung?”

Your eyebrows lifted. “Uhm–he’s okay, I think? He still feels a little weird about everything.”

“You think they’re going to work it out?”

You lifted a shoulder while you drew random patterns on the table with your finger. “They might, I don’t know. I…hope they do. But–that’s not really up to me. Tae feels guilty and he’s afraid of how I would react. I’ve told him that he doesn’t need to worry about me. I know that he still loves her and…I know that she does, too.”

“Maybe he doesn’t want to hurt you,” he guesses.

“He hasn’t done anything to hurt me,” you say quietly, still tracing your little patterns. “And even if he decides that he wants to get back with Jennie again–I would never stand in the way of that…they were meant to be,” you said with a sigh, finally looking up at him to find him staring at you.

After a beat, you ask him, “Why didn’t you take the money?”

He chuckled softly. “How many times do I have to tell you–that it’s–”

“Not about the money, I know,” you interjected. “But why?”

He exhales sharply. “Remember my funeral client?”

You nodded, remembering one of your quiet conversations by the beach.

“I stepped back from this business not just because of pressures from this job–although that was a major contributing factor. I was also losing grip on what reality I wanted for myself. I spent several years living this double-life and,” he sighed, “It was exhausting. I didn’t want to do that anymore. So I decided to just focus on this,” he gestured at his surroundings.

“At some point, I was feeling a little burnt out, too. So my friend, Mayumi–she was the one in the scrubs by the nurse’s station–she pushed me to do one final booking. Not just as a change of pace but, so I could figure out what I really wanted.”

You were shocked to find out that at least one person was privy to his secret life. Maybe the double-life was taking its toll and she was the only one who noticed.

“Then I met you–figured I’d get back into it easily–kind of like riding a bike. I’d play another role even though I’d already given you my real name. But on the plane, I thought about it and figured I’d give honesty a try.”

He rubbed the back of his neck and stretched it. “I thought that maybe…the real me would be just as good, as opposed to somebody you just made up.”

You stopped your absentminded fidgeting and gave him your full attention. When you first met, he couldn’t be more perfect–as if you had picked him out of a catalog, just as Taehyung said.

“Maybe I should have just stuck to my day job,” he says dejectedly, swinging his legs off the bench, leaning over the table to mirror you. It was a relatively small table so your faces were only a couple inches away from each other.

“I can’t help thinking that we went about this the wrong way,” you say to him.

He regarded you in curiosity. “What do you mean?”

“I mean–we both started this whole thing off with a lie. You said you wanted to give honesty a try?”

He furrowed his brows. “Yes–and?”

You held your hand out to him again. “Hi, I’m YLN YN.”

He chuckled softly, shaking his head before he clasped your hand. “Jeon Jungkook.”

“Nice to meet you,” you say softly.

“Lovely to meet you, too,” he says with a smile.

“So, I know we just met, but I wondered if you’d like to go to dinner sometime?”

He squinted at you. “Hmm–dinner, huh? A bit presumptuous are we?”

“How ‘bout coffee, then?” you proposed.

He playfully twisted his lips to the side. “You invite someone for coffee after you’ve spent the night with them.” He cocked an eyebrow at you.

You scoffed but still kept your good nature. You then deferred to him. “Okay. What would you suggest?” You were aware that your hands were still linked together.

“You’re asking me? I thought you were the one here trying to make amends,” he says, lowering his voice.

“Right, I am.” You pucker your lips, thinking of how else to straighten things out.

“How ‘bout lunch?” He suggests. “It’s in the middle of the day, a fairly neutral setting. It’s not as formal and there aren’t any expectations around it. In the end, we can just continue going about our day.”

You nod in agreement. “Okay. Lunch sounds good. When?” You ask him tentatively. You’re not sure if he’ll bite but thought you’d shoot your shot anyway.

He finally releases your hand. “Hm…I’ll have to think it through. As you know, my job’s a little bit demanding.” You detected a hint of teasing in his tone but didn’t want to read too much into it. You shouldn’t be disappointed that it wasn’t an immediate ‘yes.’ You still had to work for it.

Just then, his pager goes off. Guess his break was over.

You clicked your teeth. “Okay, well–let me know when you’ve thought it through.”

With a nod, he walks you to the nearest elevator before you part ways.

******

A couple days turn into a week. You didn’t want to seem too eager–like you were waiting by the phone but…let’s face it, you were waiting for his call. 

Every text, every call that would come in–you hoped that it was Jungkook…but it wasn’t. You started rubbing circles on your temples–a stress headache was brewing. You had to chill out, try not to think about it too much. Maybe if you forget about it, it might happen eventually. You shouldn’t be rushing the process anyway.

Or maybe he changed his mind and was just fucking with you. You did call him a liar.

“YN, do you want to keep your team check-in for the tourism campaign?”

You glanced up at your assistant, Reena, who peeked her head in through your office.

“Uh–yeah. That’s at 1:30 today, right?”

“Yes,” she replies. 

“Sounds good. Can you book the huddle room for me? I only want to meet with key staff, not the whole team.”

She nodded. “Will do.”

“Thank you, Reena,” you call out to her before she walks out.

Your phone rings and you pick it up–it was Cristina.

“Hey,” you greeted her. “Any word yet?” Cristina gets straight to the point.

You groaned. “No. I’m starting to think that he didn’t actually want to have lunch to begin with.”

“Well…you tried, babe, that’s the point. You took a chance.”

You nod absentmindedly. “Yeah, I guess. And I–” you paused as your other line began to ring. You pulled the phone away from your ear to see who it was.

Your eyes widen at the caller ID.

“Cris–I have to go, sorry,” you say in a hurry, vaguely hearing her squawking on the other line before you hang up on her.

“Hello?”

“Hey,” Jungkook greets you on the other line.

“Hi,” you say in a slightly higher vocal register. You cleared your throat, trying to calm yourself down.

“Sorry it took me a while to get back to you. Work’s been nuts,” he says apologetically.

“Oh–no need to apologize. I kind of figured you were busy. And I, uhm, didn’t want to bother you either.” 

You hear him chuckle softly on the other line. He sounds like he’s enjoying this–but you keep reminding yourself that you have no right to complain. “Anyway, I happened to have a free afternoon. I wondered if you wanted to meet up and grab lunch soon-ish?”

You checked your watch for the time. If you played your cards right, you could head out for lunch for an hour then get back right in time for your meeting.

“But I completely understand if you have plans. We can always reschedule,” he says casually.

“I’m free now. Do you want to meet somewhere?”

******

You practically jump out of your rideshare but compose yourself once you step onto the curb to walk into the restaurant that Jungkook picked. You check in with the hostess by the entrance but spot him waving at you. He was out of his scrubs and in casual, street clothes.

“Hi,” you both say awkwardly at each other then try to figure out whether to shake hands or hug.

He finally decides for both of you and gives you a hug. You inhaled and got a whiff of his cologne. Before all of those memories come rushing back to you, he pulls away.

“How are you?”

“I’m good.”

“Have you been here before?”

“I haven’t but a few coworkers have. They’ve raved about it,” you smiled. “Have you?”

“Yeah. If you want, I can tell you what’s good and what’s not,” he laughs.

“Oh. I’m guessing you come here often?” This place looked a bit fancy for a casual lunch. You wondered if maybe he brought a few dates here.

“I have,” he affirms. You tried to hide your discomfort but were failing spectacularly.

“We don’t need to tiptoe around, YN. It’s just you and me here–having lunch.”

You exhaled and relaxed your shoulders. You didn’t need to overthink this. He purposely picked lunch because it was supposed to be a neutral setting.

“Yeah, you’re right,” you say with confidence.

He smiled at you and proceeded to point out all the good stuff on the menu. You talked about how your days were, how work was, mostly mundane things…as if you hadn’t touched on topics much deeper than those.

But being mundane made it easier for you to get through lunch. You wanted to rebuild that connection and work up to it. You wouldn’t set any expectations. A clean slate was all you could hope for.

******

“Isn’t this nice? Just…getting to talk?”

“Yeah, it was. I’m really glad that you called,” you smiled at him.

Your phone buzzes with a reminder, prompting you to check your watch for the time, it was a little after 1PM. You had a team meeting coming up soon–one that you were supposed to lead but hadn’t even had time to prepare for.

“Do you need to head out?”

“Yeah, I have a meeting at 1:30 back at the office,” you say apologetically.

“Did you drive here?”

“No, I left my car and took a rideshare. I didn’t want to deal with parking,” you explained, while pulling up the app on your phone to book a ride back to work.

“I can drive you back.”

You chuckled nervously. “Oh…I don’t want to impose–”

“You’re not. I’m offering. Besides, I’m off for the rest of the day. I’ve been on-call since yesterday. My boss finally decided to give me a break.” He rubbed his eyes and stretched the kink in his neck.

Your eyebrows lifted. “Uhm, okay. As long as you don’t mind.”

“Not at all.” He raises his arm to flag down your server to request for the check.

As soon as they delivered it to your table, you began to bicker over who was going to pay. You had your card out but he kept swatting your hand away. You offered to split the bill as a compromise but when the server returned to your table, he practically shoves his card at them, effectively ending the argument.

******

You directed him as he drove, telling him which cross streets your office was located at while he navigated right through traffic.

The ride was relatively quiet but nice. You stole glances at him every time he asked whether he was making the right turn or on the correct route.

“This is me,” you tell him, pointing to your office building and he proceeds to pull into the curb.

He bends his neck slightly to view the structure from below his windshield. “Fancy building,” he remarks.

You chuckled softly. “Yeah, it’s alright,” you say, eyes drifting down to your hands. You turned your attention to him again after a few seconds. “Thanks for getting lunch.”

“Sure. Maybe next time, you can get it.” He says.

“Next time?” Your eyebrows lifted.

He chuckled enigmatically at your question but he didn't answer it. “It was good seeing you again,” he says with a warm smile instead.

Your heart clenches and you give him a small smile in return. “It was good seeing you, too.” You cleared your throat. “And–thank you for the ride.”

“You’re welcome,” he replies.

You put your hand on the door latch, preparing to leave, but he stops you. “Hey.” You turn to him again. “Yeah?”

“I had fun this afternoon,” he admits. “Yeah, I did too,” you confessed.

He nodded, and you stared at each other–his car still idling at the curb.

“I should…go,” you finally tell him.

“Right,” he says, clearing his throat. After a beat, he says, “We should do this again soon.”

“Yeah, I’d like that.” You reply softly.

“I’ll call you.”

You nodded. “You know how to reach me.” With that, you exit his car and walk towards your office building. You looked back to see him still watching you through the rolled down passenger-side window. Before you walk through the doors, you give him a small wave and he does the same. Afterwards, he rolls the window up while his car pulls out of the curb and blends in right into traffic.

******

Right before you head out of the office, you see a bunch of colleagues gathering by the reception area, no doubt heading to happy hour.

“Hey, YN, want to come with us? We’re checking out that new barbecue place that opened a couple blocks away,” a coworker says.

“Thanks for the invite but, I’m pretty beat. I’d be happy to check it out next time, though. What’s it called?” You ask.

“Oh, I can send you the link to the online menu,” they suggested instead, pulling their phone out to text you the link.

Your phone pings when their message comes through. “Perfect. Thanks! Have fun, guys,” you call over your shoulder before stepping into the elevators.

You scrolled through the menu while the cab descended and found a few items that looked good. When you step out into the underground parking lot, you think of something.

You clicked to text the link and forwarded it to Jungkook then followed it up with a message:

[You] (5:38PM): What do you think? They’re open for lunch? 😊

You closed out of the messaging app and made your way to your car. Once you insert the key into the ignition, your phone buzzes. You fish your phone out of your purse to see a response from Jungkook.

[From Jungkook] (5:42PM): Nice, but I like the dinner selections better. What do you say?

That gave you pause as you flashed back to your previous conversation.

[You] (5:43PM): I thought you said dinner was “presumptuous?”

His response comes in a few seconds later.

[From Jungkook] (5:43PM): It’s only presumptuous if you expect us to have coffee the next day. 😏

You laughed at his cheeky response. Touché.

After today, you realized that you’d rather try than give up…because you found somebody who was worth it.

◤Previous | Part 10◥  | Main Fic Masterlist

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practice (pt. 2) | jjk

→pairing: fuckboy!jk x inexperienced reader

→rating/genre: m/18+ | college au, fwb, smut, fluff, angst

→word count: 8.1k

→warnings: implied family issues, photography major jk in full effect, casual titty sucking (lol), oral sex (f receiving), ass eating and motorboating?, handjob, unprotected sex (crowd boos and throws tomatoes), a bit of spanking, talk of sex toys, orgasm denial, forced orgasm, slight dom and sub oc, slight sub and dom jk, shower head as vibrator (everyone w a clit has done this pls-), some manhandling, anal play, shower floor sex !!!, very slight cum eating, oc reflects on how far she’s fallen, oc still hates men, maybe unrequited love, maybe not

→summary: Everything is wet. You and Jungkook tangled up on the shower floor. Your eyes afterwards.

→notes: yOu’Re WeLcOmE rEaDeRs. this was only going to be a one shot but i was manipulated into making it a three part series bc of u all >:((! lol kidding love u babies! tbh i'm a bit disappointed with this piece. i really loved it when i outlined it but for some reason it just didn’t come together how i would’ve hoped. i tried my best guys rip. hopefully part three will be better. anyways, feedback is greatly greatly appreciated!! thank you again for all the engagement on part one if you’re new pls go read it and check out my masterlist here. ALSO HUGE THANK YOU TO MY BBY @here4btsfics FOR BETAING LEGIT COULDN'T HAVE DONE IT WITHOUT U!!

→series: | pt. 1 | pt. 2 | pt. 3 |

“You look miserable.”

You were miserable. 

The air at the frat party was suffocating. Sweaty bodies grinding against one another, nudging your shoulder as they shimmied by. The strobe lights made your vision splotchy and the blaring speakers had your head pounding. Plus, you could already feel the makeup sinking into your pores. An oil cleanse is needed asap.

“You look like a hot mess,” you snap at the boy in front of you. His stringy bangs stick to his clammy forehead, poking out from underneath his black bucket hat. The neck of his dark gray t-shirt is stretched to one side from the pull of petite, manicured fingers. Pink lip gloss is smeared across his lips, making a glittery trail down his neck. Sore red marks already blooming. “It’s late.”

“It’s only like-” Jungkook looks at his watch. “1 am.”

“Yeah, late. I have a test in the morning.”

“Go home.”

That was the problem. The two only people you really knew at the party, Mina and Taehyung, snuck off into a grimy bathroom to fuck eachother’s brains out. That was an hour ago. How long could they really go at it? You explain this to Jungkook with a sigh. “If they’re not back in the next twenty minutes, I’m going to flip.”

“Don’t be a buzzkill.” Jungkook chuckles, plopping down on the brown corduroy couch next to you. A drop of alcohol spills over the edge of his red solo cup, landing right on your bare thigh. “You can’t go by yourself?”

“I’m a woman, Jungkook.”

“Ah, right,” he nods, thumb brushing away the dark liquid on your skin before putting it in his mouth. Goosebumps form instantaneously as you watch in utter shock. “Don’t take this the wrong way, Bambi, but I don’t think a dude would touch you with a ten foot pole. You’re kinda fucking scary.”

You glare at him, fluffy brows furrowed into sharp slants. Deep scowl on your red pout.

“See?” He laughs, tattooed digits coming up to pinch the baby fat of your cheeks. “Come on, I’ll walk you home.”

“No,” you huff, slapping his hand away. The subtle touch was enough to feel how surprisingly soft his skin is. “I’ll go get Mina and Taehyung-” you scoof, getting up from the tattered material under you. 

“Chill.” His fingers catch the ruffled hem of your dress, knuckles brushing against the back of your thigh. 

The audacity.

“Let them do their thing. I’ll take care of you.”

“Aren’t you in the middle of-” your eyes flicker over to Nayeon, who had been attached to Jungkook’s neck all night prior. She’s on the opposite side of the room, swaying back and forth, watching him cautiously. No doubt wondering if the illusive man had slipped from her grasp, onto the next girl that caught his fleeting attention. “-A thing?”

“Nayeon is cool.” He glances over his shoulder, gnawing on the silver ring on the corner of his lip. He nervously rolls the material of your dress between his thumb and index finger. Your eyes widen at the motion. Why was he being so… handsy tonight? “She’ll understand.”

Even from a distance, you can see the disappointed glint in her eyes when he explains that he’s heading out for the night.

The air outside is much nicer. The wind brushes through the cracks in the trees, kissing the leaves with a seemingly soft gust. The brunt of the blow isn’t felt until the wind is gone, and the unsuspecting leaves slowly dwindle to the ground. Confused as to how something so delicate and graceful led to their demise.

“Ugh, fuck,” Jungkook snarls, sticking out his pink tongue after taking a sip of whatever drink he had been nursing. “Shit’s like battery acid.”

You giggle, turning your head to get a better look at him. He looks so pretty in the moonlight. Even prettier than usual, you think. Your eyes dart back to the sidewalk under your feet. 

“Here,” he passes the plastic cup towards you. “I can’t drink anymore.”

“Ew, I don’t want your backwash, Jeon.” You scoff, holding your balled fists to your chest in disgust. 

“I’ve been known to spit in a mouth every now and then… never had any complaints.”

God, he’s so crude. 

“I told you, I have a test to take.”

“Oh please,” he persists. “I take all my tests hungover.”

“What tests?” You surrender, finally accepting the poisonous drink. A quick whiff of the mysterious liquid confirms his earlier sentiments. It was most definitely battery acid. “You’re a photography major.”

“Chug! Chug! Chug!” Jungkook chants, pumping his fist in the air for emphasis.

“Stop peer pressuring me!” You say exasperatedly, words riddled with broken laughter. He’s so insufferably annoying but… weirdly adorable.

He continues, shouting louder until you down the drink in one big gulp, gagging at the putrid aftertaste. He cheers, no concern for the sleeping students who can surely hear his booming voice through their thin dormitory walls.

“I’m a bad influence on you. You’re turning into me.” 

“You wish.” 

“Not Bambi anymore, hm?” He takes his hat off, ruffling his hair before plopping it onto your head. “Gonna have to call you my baby.”

The breeze does nothing to ease the burning in your cheeks. “You’re an idiot, Jungkook.”

“Oh God… you sound like my parents,” he laughs. It wasn’t the one you had become accustomed to throughout your brief friendship. The high-pitched infectious one that always coaxed a similar sound out of you. 

This laugh was sarcastic. Devoid of joy.

“I’m so drunk that you look like ‘em too.” 

You glance up from the crushed cup. He looks… sad. You’ve never seen Jungkook sad, or even serious for that matter. His lips are pulled into a tight line, chin covered little dents as he tries to contain his emotions. 

Whatever he was feeling, you never want him to feel it again. 

“What do you mean?” 

“It’s nothing,” he shakes his head, back pressing against the entrance of your building, prepared to push it open for you. 

“It doesn’t sound like nothing,” you frown, halting your steps. You can’t leave until that heart wrenching expression stops tainting his features.

“My parents are like… old school,” he shrugs, awkwardly scratching the back of his neck. “I was so sheltered growing up. I feel like I missed out on a lot and I just… they wanted me to go to law school. Can you believe that? Me? A lawyer?”

Jungkook was a person you never expected to relate to. Sure, you were casual friends, but you chalk that up to circumstance. He just so happened to be a friend of your roommate’s boyfriend. Your interactions up until this point had been playful banter. Nothing incredibly deep. 

Honestly, you didn’t even think he was capable of complex emotions.

You feel guilty about that now.

“They sound like mine,” you admit. “They completely tie my worth to my academic success.”

“But you’re good at that. Thinking.” His fingers tap against his temple before rubbing in soothing circles, trying to coax the cogs in his skull to spin. “You’re the most intelligent person I know and I’m not just saying that because I like you.”

“Thank you,” you peep. You’ve always suspected that Jungkook secretly hated you.

Hate is a strong word and you’re very dramatic.

But nothing about your lifestyles are parallel. They’re perpendicular, moving in two completely separate directions. Only crossing paths every now and then.

Too different and incompatible. 

“My brain doesn’t work like that- watch your step,” he warns, pointing at a divet between the concrete and tile as you finally step inside. 

“I don’t like to think. I like to see. I’m a visual person.” He’s talking with so much passion, hands moving about to show you what his words couldn’t. You watch in awe.

“They don’t get that. Like when I got these,” he holds his inked arm out for your viewing pleasures. “My dad bugged out. ‘You’ll never get a good job with those doodles on your arm.’”

His tone was so exaggerated that you couldn’t help but giggle, shoulder knocking against his as you walked. He laughs too.

“I don’t really give a shit about the future. I care about now. I want to experience everything I can, right now. To me, life is about living in the moment. Photography is literally like-” his eyes squint, darting around the hallway as he looks for the right words. “Like- snapshots of the present.”

He got so carried away that he didn’t realize you had reached your destination. You blink at him.

“I’m sorry.” he sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose. “That was stupid,”

“No!” You lower your voice immediately, embarrassed at your sudden outburst. “I actually…” You pause, contemplating your next words.

“I wish I was m-”

“I want to be-”

You both pause this time. Jungkook nods his head towards you, giving you the green light to speak first.

“In some ways, I wish I was more like you.”

“Yeah.” He hums with a soft smile, leaning against your doorframe. So delicate and graceful. “I was gonna say the same thing.”

You gulp, completely and utterly rattled. Your shaky hands fiddle with your keys, struggling to fit them into the lock. 

Why are you so nervous all of a sudden? It’s just Jungkook.

He laughs, steadying your jittery hand with his own and helping you slot the metal in. 

“Thank you for walking me home,” you say meekly, avoiding eye contact as you enter the dark room. “For what it’s worth… I think your tattoos are really cool.”

“And I think you’re really cute when you’re flustered,” he smirks, backing away from the doorway and waving at you. “Goodnight, Bambi.”

Much to your dismay, the compliment makes your cheeks heat up.

“Jungkook, wait! Your hat!”

“Nah, keep it!” He shouts down the hallway. “It looks better on you anyway!”

“Jungkook, stop,” you whine, back arching off your white cotton duvet. The soft tongue twisting around your nipple makes it incredibly difficult to focus on your cracked phone screen. “This episode is important. We meet Sailor Mars.”

“Sorry, Bambi,” He grunts, wet mouth reluctantly popping off your stiff bud. “Got distracted.”

It’s been a little under two month of this. Of you and him. 

Having sex, exchanging sweet words and touches, going back to just friends. Rinse and repeat. 

Blissful peaks and exhausting valleys. A rollercoaster of emotions with no logical endpoint in sight. You tried not to think about that part often though.

It was easy to distract yourself from the truth when Jungkook brought you lunch during the gap in his classes, or when he agreed to watch Sailor Moon in its entirety without much pushing. Atleast you could pretend he was yours in those little moments of affection.

You huff, pulling the crumpled t-shirt, his t-shirt, back over your chest. Your heart was still pounding from your last round an hour or so ago, and him casually sucking on your nipple while streaming a cartoon didn’t help.

“She’s your favorite?” He questions, propping his head up on the heel of his hand as he lays on his side. You nod, gaze flickering over to him. His previous activities had made his teddy bear headband slouch forward. You use one of the plush brown ears to pull it back into place.

Although sweet and attentive, Jungkook wasn’t immune to the innate disadvantages that came with being a man. 

Like not knowing how to wash his face properly. 

You watched in horror a couple weeks ago as scrubbed his face in your bathroom sink. Bangs and all. An order for a cute bear headband, the same brand as your kitty ones, was placed immediately. The way he smiled when you gave it to him would forever be burned into your memory.

“Makes sense,” he hums. “Mars is the planet of war.”

You side-eye him, knowing exactly what he was implying with that snide comment. “Just watch the show, Jeon.”

“I am.” His wavering attention turns back to your phone. “I love 90's animation. It was basically all done by hand, see?” He points at the scene behind Usagi; a blue watercolor sky fading into a baby pink. Clearly hand drawn. It was a detail you never noticed before.

“And the saturation is higher so the colors look brighter.”

“Your major is showing,” you say, using an eye roll to suppress the smile dancing on your lips. You don’t want to disturb the hydrating sheet mask on your face, resting in just the right position. You also don’t want to clue him in on how cute you find his artistic rambles.

“Speaking of that,” he laughs, resting his cheek against your chest, unable to stay in one position for too long. He’s like that in the bedroom too. You sigh as dry bits of his face mask crumble off his temple and onto the black fabric. Baby steps. “You’re still coming to the showcase, right?

Jungkook’s big end-of-semester project was to create a photography portfolio on a topic of his choosing. There was going to be a cute little gallery event to display the work of him and his classmates. It was hard not to get your hopes up when he invited you. 

That was a sign that maybe, just maybe, the feeling was mutual. Right?

“Right,” you answer him curtly. “Now tell me what topic you picked, demon.” 

“Nah, you’ll have to be a good girl and wait,” he grins teasingly, lifting up to steal an airy peck. “Besides, I need to get one more sho-”

Ding.

“Thank fuck!” He groans, springing up at the sound of your timer. “This feels like sandpaper. What the fuck are you doing to my face?”

“Oh, don’t be a baby,” you scold, pressing pause and tossing your phone onto your bed. He’d have to meet your favorite character some other time, clearly too distracted and antsy tonight to focus. 

“Bambi,” he says indignantly, pointing straight ahead at Mina’s floor mirror with wide doe eyes. His skin is cracked and painted gray. The reflection is startling to the skincare newbie. “Look at how dry this shit is!”

“Jungkook, it’s supposed to look like that. It’s a clay mask.” You laugh, peeling your more gentle one off and tossing it into the little trash bin near your nightstand. “You have oily skin, so it’ll help clear out your pores and reduce excess sebum production.”

“I don’t even know what that means,” he laughs, climbing out of bed and rolling his shoulders, arms numb from laying down too long. He’s topless. You can’t help but eye the way his back muscles pop out with every circular motion. 

How yummy. 

“Do you mind if I hop in the shower?”

He doesn’t need to ask. Jungkook has become a permanent fixture in your dorm, like the color pink or your twin bed. Whenever Mina is gone, he’s there. 

His presence is also similar to your bed in the sense that it doesn’t extend past the four walls of your room and mind.

A bed is warm, though. Comforting. And you long for it when you’re not in it.

That longing leads your wandering feet into the steamy bathroom.

“Jungkook,” you peep softly, knocking gently on the glass door before sliding it open. “Can I join you?”

The unexpected noise makes him jump, a large palm hitting his bare chest with a wet smack. Once his mind registers the sound as your voice though, his body language softens. Your voice so sweet and melodic in his ears. “I would never turn down an opportunity to see your tits. Wet.”

‘You could see them more often if you just fell in love with me already,’ you think to yourself, peeling off your cherry-printed thong and oversized shirt before stepping into the warm shower. 

He looks so dreamy in the sauna of your shower.

Your pupils pause when they land on the unbelievably minuscule nipples that you always tease him for. His cheeks and chest are a soft baby pink. Your favorite color. Whether it’s from the scalding water or him nailing you into the rickety mattress earlier, you can’t tell. All the fog makes him look even more heavenly than usual, like an angel descending from the clouds.

You’re down bad. 

There’s a speck of clay still on his chin, covering that little brown freckle you love so much. You cup the side of his face, thumb swiping away the leftover mask. He leans into your palms, lips chasing your finger to press a soft kiss on the pad of it.

Why must he make things so difficult for you?

 “I got it,” he mumbles, snatching the pink face cloth from your hand and reaching for what his peanut brain thinks is body wash. 

“Jungkook, that’s shampoo.” 

“What? No way,” he shakes his head confidently, picking up the slippery green bottle and reading the label with squinted eyes. 

You were right, of course.

“Oh, I fucked up then” He smells like lavender and mint. The scent fills your nostrils when he grabs the actual body wash from the bamboo wall shelf, suctioned to the tile near your head. It's the same fragrance of your very fancy, very expensive, shampoo. 

You glance at the bottle. It’s nearly empty. 

“Jungkook! You’re such an idiot!”

“It’s not that deep, Bambi. Relax,” he chuckles nonchalantly.

“It’s not funny!” Read the shower, Jeon. Haircare is no laughing matter. You cross your arms over your chest, titty-viewing privileges revoked until further notice. “That stuff is expensive, Jungkook. It’s Paul Mitchell...”

“Not Paul Mitchell,” he humors you, bottom lip jutting out dramatically. His shiny silver lip ring and eyebrow piercing do nothing to aid his faux innocence. “I’ll buy you another bottle, I promise. I used it because it reminds me of you. Smells so good.”

Jungkook squeezes the soap onto the pink cloth before running it over your body, lathering the vanilla-scented bubbles on your skin. Hands caressing every part of you so gently, as if you’re the most fragile thing he’s ever dealt with. Afraid to break you in his careless and clumsy palms.

He’s cleaning you so tenderly that it makes your lovesick heart pound.

He’s diligent too, squatting down awkwardly to wash your manicured toes, balancing your foot on top of his knee. He lets out an airy laugh when your foot jerks under his sneaky tickling fingers. 

Even on your most intimate parts, his touch stays pure and delicate. He cups your breasts, cleaning under them and around them. The damp cotton barely ghosts over your nipples. He’s never been shy to pinch, suck, or even bite them before. It doesn’t feel right to him in this context though. He doesn’t want to make you uncomfy or ruin the moment by doing or saying something dirty. 

Sometimes, Jungkook makes you feel so… important. So cared for. 

You cling to him when he washes your back, wrapping your arms around him and nuzzling your face into the solid surface of his chest. You stay like that for a moment. Holding eachother under the warm stream of the shower. Savoring it while he’s still with you like this.

Blissful peaks.

The gentle swirls and shapes he draws against your skin lulls you into a trance. All you can hear is his heart beating. 

It’s so close but so out of reach. 

You count the seconds between the faint thumps. So distracted and content that your ears block out the sharp sounds of water hitting tile. All you hear is him.

Jungkook. Jungkook. Jungkook.

A quick swat to your ass brings you back to reality. 

You peep out a small moan, jolting forward from the impact. 

“You like when I do that,” he deduces, the corner of his lip pulling into a crooked smirk as he massages your stinging behind. “When I have my way with you. Don’t you, Bambi?”

You nod, cheek still smushed into his wet chest. How humiliating.

“You’re a lot more submissive than I thought you’d be.”

“You thought about me before we started hooking up?” You counter, voice taking on a teasing tone to hide the flutter in your chest. He wanted you too. The thought was reassuring.

“Mm, maybe.” His hardening cock, brushing right against your inner thigh, tells you the answer. “The version of you in my head was confident, though. Knew what she wanted and took it.”

He whispers the last part, gaze floating down to your lips and licking his bottom one in preparation. The telltale signs of an incoming smooch. You close your eyes, expecting a sweet kiss-

“I get that you’re still learning how to fuck,” he shrugs. “So no biggie.”

Asshole. He's taunting you.

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” 

“It’s not a bad thing…” he coos, patronizingly. “Just the Bambi I know would never let a man tell her what to do.”

Any implication of you being compliant and passive, especially to a male counterpart, would normally send you into a rampage. He never understood how someone so kind could also be so viscous. When angry, you were comparable to a fire-breathing dragon, destroying villages and burning people alive with your blazing articulate tongue. Jungkook would never tell you that though, lest you think he was calling you ugly and reptilian.

That couldn’t be further from the truth, because he found it so fucking sexy when you were mad. And the bubbles of irritation were already brewing in your stomach.

You’re falling right into his trap.

“I don’t,” you argue through gritted teeth. “And I always take what I want.”

“That’s not true,” Jungkook tutts his tongue at you. “You want me so bad and you haven’t done anything about it.”

Your heart drops. Is it that obvious you have a big fat crush on him?

“Why don’t you show me a little bit, then?” He huffs, voice pleading and whiny. He grabs your hand and guides it around his semi-hard member, engulfing your’s in his tattooed one. “Touch me how you want.”

Oh, he meant sexually. You let out a sigh of relief. 

Even partially soft, his cock feels heavy in your hand. Your fingertips barely meet around the shaft, pink mushroom tip poking out of your tiny fist. Two months. Two months of seeing his cock every three to five business days, and you’re still intimidated by the sheer size of him. How could you not be? He was massive.

He knocks his wet forehead against yours. His gaze is trained on his growing cock, tongue fiddling with his lip ring as he focuses. So visual.

Hm. It could be fun to take control. Especially when he was practically begging for it. 

Jungkook prefers to be the pleasing partner. Foreplay usually consists of him licking and touching every square inch of you until you’re squirming. You’ve never seen him so needy and desperate before.

Most dicks were ugly. Monstrous even. In the flesh, you’ve seen a whopping total of three penises throughout your lifetime, Jungkook’s included. A small sample size for your age. But you’ve watched enough porn to know that they were anything but aesthetically pleasing.

You’ve always been drawn to the finer, pretty things in life.

And his is so so pretty.

It’s not overly vascular. The veins running along his shaft are subtle, you can only feel them when you give him a hard tug. His skin is smooth and supple. Pelvis clean-shaven. Despite his little skincare mishaps, you can know he takes good care of himself. It’s a quality you found extremely attractive. 

Languidly stroking up, you twist your wrist over the swollen tip. Your grip isn’t as tight as he likes and you know it, purposely dragging over the upward curve with an unbearably loose fist. The running water makes the glide easy as you pump him languidly, stopping at the crown and squeezing to give him a little relief. 

He peeps out a dreamy sigh when a pearl of dew leaks out of the slit. You coo at the sight, using your thumb to smear the wetness around his sensitive head.

A dirty Jungkook-type thought pops into your head.

“Put it in your mouth,” you command, holding your glistening digit in front of his big nose. 

He hesitates for a moment. It’s fair. You were literally asking him to taste his own precum. His black pupils dart to your thumb, over to your face, and then back to your thumb. 

Has he never done this before?

He’s apprehensive, but fiercely competitive to the core. Never one to turn down a challenge. You’ve known that since you met him, when he nearly had a meltdown over losing a simple game of beer pong. 

He takes the pad of your thumb into his pink pucker, sucking on it like a sugary lollipop. His lustful eyes lock onto yours when his tongue just barely grazes over your skin. They’re pleading, so desperate for your approval. 

“Good boy… now spit.”

You feel his cock twitch against your stomach, wet tip leaving a sticky trail to your belly button. He obliges, letting a string of spit land in your palm. You hum contently, wrapping your hand around his shaft again. Coating him in his own saliva. 

“I love that,” he moans out, voice so turned on that you have to clench your thighs together for friction. They’re already clammy with arousal.

“Love what?” You tease. “Praise or my hand?”

“Both,” he admits with no hesitation, hips recoiling and subtly thrusting into your palm. He slicks back his bothersome bangs to get a better view. 

He looks so good with his forehead out.

“Does that feel good?”

He nods halfheartedly, tunnel-visioned in on the way you’re just fucking milking him. The nasty wet clicking noises filling the air only make his impending orgasm build up quicker. Jungkook has always prided himself on his stamina, but he’s already feeling that overwhelming pooling in his balls.

“Are you gonna cum?”

“Yeah, Bambi...” He sighs, mouth dropping when he’s done speaking. Thick brows knitting together. Face contorting in the way it always does when he’s about to bust.

 You tug him hard and fast until he’s teetering on the point of no return-

And then you stop.

The muscles at the base of his cock contract and expand, making it bounce up against his pelvis. The creamy pale skin at the base transitions into a bright red at the tip. So swollen and angry. So ready to cum.

“Fuck!” He shouts, slamming the side of his fist against the tile wall, snarled teeth look too ferocious to be bunny-like. The hooded gaze he shoots you is scary, even angrier than his cock. 

It looks painful.

You feel bad, truly.

But it was a small glimpse of the pain you felt when he blue-balled your love and affection.

“I cum first,” you taunt with a smirk, pressing a gentle peck on his lips. He doesn’t reciprocate, pout cemented in a firm straight line. “Then you.”

His tattooed knuckles sneak under your wet hair, curling around the back of your neck. The other is grips on your shoulder, trimmed nails digging into the delicate skin as he shoves you forward. You gasp, bouncing breasts squished against the shower door, cool slippery glass brushing against sensitive nipples. 

Jungkook usually takes the lead during sex, gently coaching you through the motions until you’re both silly-smiled and starry-eyed in post orgasm bliss. You’ve never seen him so domineering. A sharp juxtaposition to the whiny boy who was desperately seeking words of affirmation a few minutes ago.

His duality has you embarrassingly wet.

“I’m sorry,” he grunts, nuzzling into your shoulder and placing a few gentle, apologetic pecks on your skin. “I don’t mean to be so abrasive.”

Abrasive.

That was a big word, for him atleast. His vocabulary has expanded a bit. The thought makes you gleam. 

“You’re just-” The words are broken off by an airy chuckle. “I’m so fucked.”

There’s no time for you to mull over the hidden meanings of his words. He nudges your legs apart with his knee, muscular thigh pressing right into your sopping sex. You moan at the contact, grinding down on it until it’s rudely snatched away. 

“Isn’t someone greedy?” His voice is muffled, lips preoccupied with kissing a messy trail down your spine before dropping to his knees behind you. Right on the shower floor. “You’ve already cum. Twice.” 

You had sex just a few hours. And he did indeed, make you cum twice. Once on his fingers and once around his cock.

It wasn't enough, though. Never enough with him.

“Want more...”

“I know you do, just…” His words dissipate when spreads one cheek to the side, distracted by the mesmorising sight of your glistening slit and puckering hole. “Stay still. Let me look at you.”

The lack of sensory information has you on edge. From your position, you can’t see him. Only catching blurry glimpses of a tattooed arm when it extends into your field of vision. It’s hard to hear the nasty declarations that pour out of his mouth over the pitter-patter of water. There’s no perceptible clues that help you predict his next movements. You have to wait until you feel them.

His big hands knead your skin, making the fatty parts jiggle with his thumbs resting under each cheek. “Wow…” he peeps in admiration before shoving his entire face in your ass, vigorously shaking his head side to side. 

He’s so lewd.

You squeak when his sneaky tongue pokes out.

“No…”

“Why?” 

“That’s so… dirty.” You don’t mean you, of course. Even in the drunkest of states, you could execute a ten step skincare routine flawlessly, facial rollers and all. You were referring to the act.

“I mean… we’re kinda past that, don’t you think?”

You hum a contemplative noise. He had a point.

“Don’t you like it, baby?” A soft kiss is placed against the cinched muscle. “When I play with you like this?”

Baby.

He hasn’t called you that since he walked you home from the party. Your stomach somersaults. 

“I love it,” you confess with a sigh.

“Then why is it dirty? I’m just making you feel good, aren’t I?” He coos, placing the pad of his thumb on the untouched area. There’s no pressure behind it, just light strokes around the rim. “I can make you feel so good, if you just let me do what I want.”

What he’s implying is nerve-wracking. Anal play was something you never even considered dabbling in.

“I’ll be gentle, I promise.”

You trust him and you’re consumed by lust, so you give a small nod. 

“I need to hear you say it.”

“Do whatever you want, Koo… anything.”

There’s a sharp exhale and then soft fingers massaging tight circles on your clit. You relax into the touch. A tried and true method of making you feel good, and hopefully, ease you into the uncharted waters with little tension. Jungkook lets a string of spit fall between your cheeks, knowing you’ll need the extra lubrication. 

“Fu- hmm,” you hum through curled lips when his thick thumb slowly prods in, only up to the first knuckle. It’s not as painful as you expected. A little strange and unfamiliar, but the stretch was oddly pleasurable. “S’ good.” 

“No one has ever been in here before, right? Only me?”

“Only you.” You mewl, grinding back into his hand. The confession makes him moan. The thought of defiling you, ruining you, does things to him and to his leaking cock. 

“Maybe if you’re good, I’ll get you a butt plug.” He pauses, before adding an afterthought. “A small one with a pink gem.”

You don’t respond, enjoying the feeling of his hand too much to speak.

“Yeah,” he hums to himself. “Gonna double dip you one of these days.”

“Koo,” you whine. “Please do something.”

He can’t deny you. Not when there’s those dreamy, desperate hues in your voice. Jungkook spins, sitting on the ground before shuffling backwards until his back is against the shower door. Positioned directly between your legs. Right under your leaking cunt.

“Ride my face,” he whimpers. “Please…”

In your limited experience, and via the data you’ve collected from third-party sources (Mina), guys only ever beg to receive oral sex. 

But Jungkook is different. Here he was, fully prepared to devour your pussy like it’s his last meal on death row.

Hopefully the crime committed isn’t breaking your heart.

“Jungkook, you don’t- fuck!” His mouth is on you before you can even finish the sentence. Toned arm wrapped around your thigh, pulling you down onto his thirsty tongue like you’re a refreshing drink on a hot summer day.

The cool metal of his lip ring brushing against your outer lips as he delivered long unhurried licks between them, had your thighs trembling. You were so worked up and he’s barely even touched you.

The position is great, amazing even, but it’s hard to hold him like you want. You twist awkwardly reaching behind you and letting your fingers trace the outline of his sharp jaw. You can literally feel his tongue working under the skin, collecting as much of your sweet dew as possible before swallowing it in big gulps. 

The combination of your juices and the running water makes Jungkook-

“Feel like I'm drowning,” he laughs, sending hot breaths into your core. 

You peep an apology before standing on your toes, trying to create some breathing room.

“I didn’t tell you to stop.” His free hand grabs your ass, fingertips digging into the plush surface as he pulls you back down. The motion makes his large nose brush against your clit, bulbous tip sneaking under the hood, tickling your most sensitive spot.

“Fuck, baby.” you whine, already feeling a sticky hot climax approaching.

“Don’t be shy.” The thick thumb, still hooked inside of you, begins rocking back and forth, moving your hips in tandem. Encouraging you to grind onto his face. “Use me.”

Despite the assertive facade, you were deeply insecure. You’ve never felt more liberated, more comfortable, than when Jungkook’s hands were on you, though. Caressing every undesirable part of you. Touching you in ways that made you swoon. Completely worshiping you. 

With that in mind, you build up the courage to move freely. Humping his face like you do your pillow when you’re alone and needy for him.

You find yourself saying this often with Jungkook, but you’ve never felt so good.

There’s little muffled moans under the sound of the shower. Between the wet strands of hair, you can see his thick brows pulled in at the middle. Features contorted to form that cute little yummy face he makes every time he eats good food. Or in this case, your pussy.

You giggle deliriously, gently pushing back his wet tresses. They’re silky and pliant from your conditioner. Your thumb smoothes over one of his brows in an attempt to tame the angry arch. Afraid to hurt him, you stop immediately when you feel his piercing. 

The look he gives you when he peers up at you sends you spiraling. There’s something so raw behind his eyes.

It almost looks like…

“Fuck, fuck, fuck!” You shout when your orgasm washes over you, hips jerking wildly and uncontrollably. Powerful waves of pleasure run through you. One after the other in rapid succession, leaving your legs shaking and your petite fingers clawing at his scalp. 

He doesn’t stop until you make him, with a fistful of hair and rough yank. Wet lips smacking together as he coos, taking in the sight of the overstimulated body before him. You feel empty when he removes his thumb from your sore hole and climbs to his feet.

“Your mouth,” you whine. “It’s too much.”

“I know,” he hums in agreement, hugging you from behind before continuing with an airy chuckle. “Nayeon told me that I have an oral fixation.”

Nayeon.

Your heart drops at the mention of her name. 

Why was he thinking about Nayeon? Especially now, when he was being intimate with you-

‘Don’t overthink it,’ you tell yourself. It was probably just a flippant comment he made without thinking…

“Oh no,” Jungkook groans dramatically, tattooed hand scrubbing over his face in frustration.

“What’s wrong?” You ask, craning your neck to look at him.

“I only brought one condom,” he says in distraught, emphasizing the one like it was the biggest mistake of his life.  “And we already used it.”

Hm. Now seems like a good time to ask him the question you’ve been avoiding for weeks.

“Are you sleeping with anyone else?”

An eerie pause fills the air. You don’t like the way he hesitates.

“No… I always use protection anyways… and I just got tested last week.”

You don’t like the way he answers. Almost like he didn’t want to lie, but he didn’t necessarily want to admit the truth either.

You don’t push the matter further. You're afraid that if you do, he’ll drift away. Float onto the next shiny, less complicated, thing that catches his wandering eyes. 

“It’s okay. Just fuck me, Jungkook.”

“Are you sure?” He looks at you with wide, sparkly eyes. They appear almost animated, hand drawn in the same style as your favorite cartoon. “We don’t have to. I would never-”

“I want to.”

You just want him. 

“Are you on the pill?”

“Mhm.” 

He exhales a sigh of relief, head dropping to thank whatever higher power exists for making this happen. The stars aligned to make this happen. He gets to fuck you now. Raw.

When his hands land on your ass, they’re shaky and unorganized. You can’t tell if it’s from adrenal of excitement. His cock is at the perfect angle to slot between your cheeks without the help of his hands. Jungkook pushes them together, rutting his hips into the tight squeeze, moaning softly when his pink tip pokes out at the top. 

“No more teasing,” you huff with a pout.

“Put me in then, sweetheart.”

Another term of endearment. You wonder if he’s doing it on purpose. If he knows how you feel about him and is levying that affection against you. Using sweet words to lull you into any situation of his choosing.

You sigh, reaching between your legs. His couch is so touch-starved from the foreplay, the orgasm you denied him, that the contact makes it jump. You rub the engorged head over your clit, flicking it up and down over the swollen nub.

“Thought you said no teasing.” He gruffs, strained and fucked out.

You nod in response, licking your lips as you guide him to your entrance. His heart beating so sternly in his chest that you can feel his pulse in the crown of his cock. So turned out and it’s all because of you.

Your mouth forms an ‘o’ shape when he slides in slowly. You’re both so wet from the shower and your own arousals, that there’s barely any resistance. Just a smooth glide until he’s buried to the hilt. Hushed, needy gasps escaping from both of you.

“Ah- fuck,” he grunts, hips jolting forward even though there’s no more length to give, pelvis mushing into you. You have to brace yourself with flat palms to prevent your head from knocking into the glass. “I’m in love with this pussy…”

The sweet, filthy words make you clench around him.

Jungkook watches with parted lips as he pulls out. Top lip twitching in a snarl when he sees how creamy and shiny you made his cock. You always do, but this is the first time he’s actually witnessing it, feeling it, without any barrier.

“My favorite pussy…” he whispers, gripping your waist as leverage before he starts pounding into you. Closing his eyes to focus on his rhythm, savoring the way your warm, wet, natural ridges feel on his cock

Even from behind, his curve does wonders on your g-spot. The smooth underside deliciously strokes that sweet spot with every deep plunge. Your breasts bounce when his hips crash into yours, making the very tips of your nipples teasingly brushing against the wet glass. The coolness sends tingles through your burning skin.

“When can I really play with you?” He pants. “Use my vibrator until you’re cumming buckets, huh?”

“Whenever we stay at yours…”

He doesn’t respond, leveling you with a simple hum instead.

“Nah, I prefer going to the girl’s place-” Jungkook had slurred to Taehyung, projecting his voice over the static of the party. Loud enough for your unsuspecting ears to pick up the sound. “I feel bad for asking them to leave after, so it just makes things easier.”

That was before you started hooking up, but the memory still stings.

A lightbulb turns on Jungkook’s brain as he watches the running water hit your back. He reaches for the shower head, clicking the silver lever three notches to the left. Jet mode.

The ugliest sob rips though your chest when he places it directly on your clit.

“Jungkook!” The stream is so powerful that it sends you into a panic.  “I can’t, I can’t, I can’t!”

“Yes, you can,” his lips are smushed to your temple, trying to shush your cries. “Gotta practice for the Hitachi, don’t you baby?”

The constant stimulation from the water and his cock makes your orgasm build up much quicker than anticipated. There’s wetness on your cheeks. It's not from the splashing water pummeling directly into your clit. You feel so euphoric and overstimulated that you’re crying. There’s nothing you can do to stop the unbearable pleasure that’s coursing through your veins. 

You nearly blackout when you cum. Vision blurry. Hearing fading in and out. Legs giving out underneath you. Jungkook has to catch you, abruptly dropping the shower head to wrap his big arms around your waist before you plummet to the ground in bliss.

When you can support yourself again, he hangs up the forgotten metal, maneuvering you around until you’re facing him. He picks you up with an inked arm hooked under your thighs, free hand grazing over your back in soothing circles.

“I didn’t push you too far, did I?” He asks worriedly.

You shake your head. He did, but you absolutely loved it. You peep when you feel the tip of his cook, still achingly hard, against your backside. “What about you?”

“Don’t worry.”

“No,” you protest. “Want you to cum too.”

He looks at you, gnawing on his bottom lip like he’s contemplating something. “I’ll be quick.”

Jungkook lays you down on the shower floor gently, the same way he does on your twin bed. A grimace laces through your features. Over the last month, you’ve been swamped with homework, putting a wedge in your normal routine. The last time you cleaned out the shower was two whole weeks ago.

Disgusting.

All complaints are forgotten when he’s inside of you, though. You would brace the bacteria and germs to have Jungkook between your legs. 

“You’re so pretty,” he huffs, admiring the way your hair fans out across the white porcelain. Leaning forward, Jungkook presses his entire weight on top of you, nuzzling his head into your shoulder. There’s a gust of wind on your shoulder as he breathes in your scent. 

The whole atmosphere feels different.

The slow sensual grind of his hips makes you dizzy. You swear you’re hallucinating when you feel his hands graze up your arms, fingers interlocking with yours. 

“Look at me.”

You crane your neck, wide eyes meeting his hooded ones. You breath hitches in your throat when you take in his expression. He’s looking at you the same way he did earlier.

If you didn’t know better, you would say he’s looking at you like he’s in love with you.

“I’m close,” he whispers, nudging his forehead against yours. He kisses you so delicately. There’s no heady teeth or rushed tongues. Just a sweet, soft kiss. “Where do you want it?”

“Inside.”

When he cums, it’s gentle and low. His hips never falter from their slow pace like they usually do when he climaxes. He doesn’t moan lewdly or say anything dirty. He just stays clung to you, panting softly until he rides out his high.

You feel so warm and happy when he fills you up. 

He stays on top of you while he catches his breath. You don’t mind, petite hands scratching over his back. Listening to the calming, rain-like sounds of the shower.

“Do you want to go to bed?” You peep after a few minutes.

“I can’t sleepover tonight, Bambi,” he coos, sitting back on his knees. You feel empty when he pulls out.  “I have a test tomorrow.”

“Oh… well, you’re still coming over tomorrow, right? So can we finish the season?” You question, recalling the pinky promise he made you last week.

“Raincheck,” he pouts. “I have something to do for one of my classes.”

You follow him to the door once you’re both dried off and dressed.

“Goodnight,” he places a dramatic kiss on the top of your head, pulling away with a little ‘muah’ sound. Something in the corner of your room catches his eye before he leaves. “Did you steal my hat?”

Your eyes follow his finger, pointing straight to the black bucket hat on your desk.

“You gave it to me.”

“I did?” He looks at you in confusion. “I don’t remember that.”

“Fuck off,” you groan, cocooning your blanket over your disturbed ears. You wanted nothing more than to rewatch Sailor Moon and mope, but the fireworks would not fucking stop. Where is campus police? And why are they letting dumb frat boys light off explosives?

You sigh, watching Usagi and Rei fight over Tuxedo Mask again. You know what the outcome will be. The thought of your favorite character falling victim to the unforgiving strain of unrequited love makes your heart hurt.

You tilt your head. Tuxedo Mask kinda looks like someone you know. 

The show was supposed to be distracting, make you forget the fact that you got stood up but a guy you’ve been crushing on for months. But even your alone time has become daunting. Consumed by him. Everything reminds you of Jungkook. 

Jungkook. Jungkook. Jungkook.

You sigh, closing out the app in favor of scrolling through Instagram. The first picture you see on your feed is of Nayeon. Just your luck.

It was posted two minutes ago. You recognize the ugly brown couch in the background. She’s clearly at a party, form-fitting black mini dress complimenting her figure perfectly. 

Your self-loathing mind guides your self-loathing fingers to zoom in on every little detail and compare yourself to her. Pretty hair. Perfect makeup. Tiny waist that curves out into her full hips. Long legs. Jungkook. Straight, pearly white teeth. Nice jawline-

Jungkook?

You do a double take, eyes scanning the photo until the land on him again. He’s lingering in the background, back against the wall, looking down at his phone. You stay zoomed in on him for a while, staring at your phone screen until your vision goes blurry. 

Every doubt and insecurity you’ve harbored over the last few months hits you in a drowning, suffocating wave. 

Exhausting valleys.

Why did you even agree to this? This stupid friends with benefits relationship.

You knew you would get hurt, but you didn’t think it would hurt this bad. Not only did he lie to you, he was with Nayeon.

Nayeon. You can’t fucking stand her-

You shake your head furiously and throw your phone to the foot of your bed. 

You don’t mean that…

Since when were you the type to hate another woman over a dumb guy? Or have unprotected sex? Or let someone so careless and selfish infiltrate your heart and mind?

How could you compare yourself to Nayeon when you two are in the exact same position?

You think about the night you fell for him, when he walked you home in the moonlight. She must have felt the same you do now. You’re similar in your desire to be with him, knowing you'll get hurt in the end.

Because being with Jungkook for a little while was better than not being with him at all.

It’s his eyes. They’re dark but so tender. The way they look at you like you’re the only thing that matters. The way they glow when he talks about things that interest him. Or how they dart up towards his forehead when he can’t find the right words to say-

“__?” Mina calls, standing in the doorway with a takeout bag. You hadn’t even noticed her come in.  “Why are you crying?”

“Huh?” You peep, eyes fluttering down to the little wet spots on your blanket. 

Without even realizing it, you had grown to love Jungkook so much. 

You spent the rest of the night sobbing in Mina’s arms.

© chryblossomjjk 2022 [do not copy, translate or repost]

Earn It

“I don’t give away good grades, Miss Y/N; you want something from me, you have to earn it.”

Yoongi’s Birthday Fic!!!!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY MIN SUGA!!!

Pairings: College Professor!Yoongi x Female Reader

Rating: NSFW, Mature, Explicit, 18+, if you’re underage please stop reading here

Genre: College AU, A Bit of Angst, Smut, Fluff, PWP, One Shot

Word Count: 5K

Summary: Mr. Min has always given you a hard time. Why would tonight be any different?

Warnings: Bring on the filth hoes!!!, MEAN DOM!YOOONGI/SUB!Reader, Unprotected Sex( because I’m a whore), Oral Sex(F. & M. Receiving), Spanking, Sir Kink, Choking, Marking, Yoongi’s dick is HUGE!!!!, Degradation(i live for it), Exhibitionism(these hoes have sex in the classroom), Face Fucking, slight pain kink, light BDSM themes(I’m innocent), Fingering, Light Bondage, Crying, Inappropriate use of a Sharpie(don’t over think this), Begging, There’s a part in here that’s going to make you say wtf but just keep reading I promise its okay and no one’s cheating, Thigh Riding, FILTH CITY BITCHES, Spitting, Groping, Role Play, Nipple Play, Hair Pulling, Cursing, Rough Sex, the safe word is Shadow, Plot twists, Dirty Talk, I hope I didn’t miss anything (NSFW please proceed with caution)

A/N: Shoutout to @joheunsaram​ for the beautiful banner. I’m sorry about being late. I’ve mentioned my recent promotion and I want to thank you all for the support. I didn’t have time to edit this a lot so please forgive any errors. I hope it was worth the wait. Please enjoy!!!

Main Masterlist 

Keep reading

How to Get a Guy. jjk | 01

PART 01 OF 02

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader | [slight] Yoongi x Reader

Genre: fluff, angst, smut, roommates!au, college!au, fuckboi!jk, enemies to friends to lovers

Summary: Star basketball player Jeon Jungkook has a reputation as the ultimate fuckboi. He’s loved by everyone. Everyone. And you would have followed suit if he had not broken all your strict Roommate Rules™ within the first week of his stay. Jungkook, on the other hand, thinks you’re absolutely bizarre. But there’s a silver lining — Mr. Fuckboi here knows basketball captain Min Yoongi, your dreadfully clueless crush. He strikes up a deal with you: he’ll teach you the ways of flirting if you lessen your load of rules (so Jungkook can continue perusing his way through the ladies on campus). Yet the longer Jungkook spends with you, the more he realizes that maybe he doesn’t want to be the campus fuckboi anymore. The problem is, how does he prove that to you?

Rating: 18+ sexual content.

Warnings: protected sex, oral (f. receiving), handjob through clothes??, cumming in pants :D, slow burn, a lot of making out, titty sucking, cursing, alcohol consumption from parties, drug (weed) consumption (but not main pairing), marking with nails (not from y/n tho omg), jk sleeps around, and he’s a basketball player oof, honestly jk and y/n are just hella confused

Word Count: 20.6k

a/n ✑ it’s here, part uno! thank you so much for your patience!! i hope you enjoy this fic that was originally supposed to be 15k max… i appreciate all the support/motivation mwah mwah <3 the warnings for part two are included here as well (so if they dont show,,, it’s cuz it’s in the next one)

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How to Get a Guy. jjk | 02

PART 02 OF 02 | PART 01

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader | [slight] Yoongi x Reader

Genre: fluff, angst, smut, roommates!au, college!au, fuckboi!jk, enemies to friends to lovers

Summary: Star basketball player Jeon Jungkook has a reputation as the ultimate fuckboi. He’s loved by everyone. Everyone. And you would have followed suit if he had not broken all your strict Roommate Rules™ within the first week of his stay. Jungkook, on the other hand, thinks you’re absolutely bizarre. But there’s a silver lining — Mr. Fuckboi here knows basketball captain Min Yoongi, your dreadfully clueless crush. He strikes up a deal with you: he’ll teach you the ways of flirting if you lessen your load of rules (so Jungkook can continue perusing his way through the ladies on campus). Yet the longer Jungkook spends with you, the more he realizes that maybe he doesn’t want to be the campus fuckboi anymore. The problem is, how does he prove that to you?

Rating: 18+ sexual content.

Warnings: protected sex (twice..), oral (f. receiving), rough sex (1), a lot of making out, orgasm denial (for two secs methinks), titty sucking, cursing, alcohol consumption from parties, jk sleeps around (but not anymore?!), the basketball team is kinda disgusting, jk lowkey (highkey) be staking his claim but it’s seen in y/n pov, honestly jk and y/n are still hella confused

Word Count: 15.3k

a/n ✑ part dossss! thank you so much for waiting!! i adoreee this couple and i hope you enjoy the rest of their journey too <3 appreciate all of you guyss <33 (also there’s like.. one epilogue scene teehee)

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Masterlist

————————————

Seokjin

Last kiss goodbye

————————————

Jimin

Survivors

————————————

Jungkook

Sway me more

————————————

Jhope

be mine

————————————

Hwiyoung

a little birthday surprise

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Other series

Waking up in Vegas

Survivors | a park jimin ff

Introduction

Chapter 1: Earthquake

Chapter 2: Warning signs

Chapter 3: Worry

Chapter 4: Alarm

Chapter 5: Stuck

Chapter 6: hit the road

Chapter 7: Techno City

Chapter 8: Just a little sip

Chapter 9: We’ll be all night

Chapter 10: lost and loved

Sway me

synopsis; you are slowly starting to fall in love with your stupid client that has one of the biggest egos on this planet, but what if it’s forbidden to date any of your colleagues and especially clients

pairing; jungkook x reader

genre; e2l, romance, forbidden office romance, a little bit of fluff

warnings; vulgar language

wordcount; 1296 words

I’ve been standing here right by the entrance flashed by tall of the shiny decor in this huge ballroom. Everyone is dressed in their most beautiful clothes anyione has ever seen! My heart for fashion skipping a beat and the little 5 year old princess iside of me is screaming.

Before anyone notices me standing here like a crazy maniac staring at them I make my way towards the crowd that has been moving rythmically all over the dancefloor. At the end of the staircase I catch a glimps of my assistant Jihoon waving at me signaling I should come over.

As soon as I’m close enough he tells me with a grin on his face “Everything is done boss. The data is all on this little sd-card .” I reach towards the little black chip in his hand and put it savely in my bag. “Just don’t lose it . Otherwise I will have to start all over again.”

“Don’t worry I got this” I tell him with a reassuring smile.

“Did Mr. Gao arrive already?” I ask

“Yes he is talking to Mr. Kim at the buffet with the other investors. You can only make business when you have a full tummy.” he cacks jockingly.

I just shake my head at him but can’t help a little chuckle leaving my ips.

“But you know who’s also here?” Jihoon says in his teasing voice wiggling his eyebrows.

The only reaction he gets out of me is a glare. His true nature is just geting the best of him again. But why should I llie. That’s exactly the reason wy you aren’t just his boss but also quite close to him.

“It’s him you know…” he scans my face for some sort of reaction he doesn’t get, “come on I know you like him too” he teases again.

“Oh shush” i respond a little too harsh than intended, “you know I’m a men-magnet… aswel as a women-magnet!” I add after a second and he laughs.

“Of course you are boss” he agrees.

As I’m about to scan the crowd one particular pair of eyes across the dance flor catches my attention. The eye cotact is ntense just as he intents. The glass of liquor in his hand meets his lucious lips. He takes a small sip and a smirk appears on his face.He knows damn well he has got you wrapped around his finger.

But he also knows I have him wrapped around my whole hand.

If we are playing this game I am gonna win.

“Bring it on Jeon!“ I mouth his way knowing he understood by the way his eyes glow up. I lic my lips daring him now before going towards him and onto the dance floor.

He quickly puts his empty glass onto one of the tables beside him and walks confidently towards me. He reaches out his hand before even reaching me making it obvious he’s coming my way. “May I have the honour?” he asks politely in his deep voice.

If only all of these people around us know what kind of a prick he actually is.

“The pleasure is all mine” I return and something in his brown orbs turns dark.

The song changes and we just start to move in the rhythm of the music.

“You look stunning” he says, his breath gracing my skin. “I always look stunning” he chuckles “but I gotta say you are something yourself Mr. Jeon. Look at you having every women and men drooling over you in your yellow suit.”

He answers: “Is that so?”

“Oh come on stop it. I don’t need to boost your ego. It is already big enough. You were literally elected the most handsome men alive Jungkook. And I didn’t see anyone on the internet disagreeing on that matter.”

“Are you finished with your little talk?” his eyes are softening up the longer he looks at me. Our eyes lock again and the music comes to its peak as we pose along, me in his arms carried by him and him bending over me. “I wish I could scream out to the world and tell everyone how much I love you!” Jungkook whispers his hand reaching for my face and his face coming closer to mine. He is so close our lips almost touch but before anyone of us can move in to kiss the other, he pulls me back up.

We finish finish our last steps as the last tones of the music fade away. Jungkook presses a last kiss on top of my hand accompanied by a little bow out of respect and I chuckle.

Loud clapping comes from the side and as I look to the source of it I see Mr. Kim and Mr. Gao, followed by a few men, standing there with the widest grin on their faces.

Crap if they suspect anything I’m dead. Mr. Gao expresses how surprise he was. He had never seen a couple dance so pretty. His words not mine.

“Is there something you want to tell me _?” Mr. Kim whispers my way. “Nope! I couldn’t let a gentlemen down could I?” I said to him way too confident to my liking.

He probably just understood how boldly you just lied in his face but he drops the topic.

Mr. Kim starts to talk about business again, as the other men standing with us in a circle joined his conversation.

After some time I excuse myself and go outside to get some fresh air. This whole night talking to different business partners, showing my best side only and that dance performance on top of it took a toll on me.

Jungkook was sitting there already but he was totally in his own world right now.

“Thinking about me handsome?” I say shifting his attention to me. Welcomed by his toothy grin I sit down. “Always!” he answers making me slightly blush. It is silent for a second before I start to talk again.

“Can I ask you something?”

“Of course!” he is curious now.

“Why?… Why me out of all these women? You literally have any women who just walks by you whipped and ready to suck your the soul out of your body.”

“Why not?” He ask back “ just like you said yourself they don’t care about looks.”

It’s silent for a bit.

“You are just you _ and that’s what I love about you” he admits scooting closer to you. “The only big difference is that I really want something serious with you, you know” his lips start to travel along my neck leaving soft kisses.

“Sometimes I just have the desire to wake up to your beautiful. No matter if you are sleepy or slept enough or if you are mad or sad or happy. I just don’t want to miss out on any moment I could spend with you!” his words are literally melting my heart. I never had anyone say something so beautiful to me.

“Jungkook…” I say

“I know” he interrupts me.

“I’d love that too but you know damn well we are not allowed to date our clients. And our project isn’t done yet we can’t” the sad tone in my voice evident.

“I know love… I know.” he sighs all hope leaving his body.

“Let me show you how much I love you at least!” he lures.

His hand taking mine and he pulls me up.

“Let me take care of you just for one night” he begs.

And I don’t refuse letting him move his hands all over my body.

Last kiss goodbye

synopsis; your boyfriend/fiancée wants to break up with you right before enlisting in the military but you stand by your point and are willing to wait for him

pairing; seokjin x reader (no specific gender)

genre; angst with a little bit of fluff and a good ending

word count; 1292 words

As if the crazy dream you just had wasn’t enough you woke up covered in cold sweat on your body and a weird feeling. The space beside you in bed is empty.

Did he really just leave without you? Without bidding his last goodbye? No he wouldn’t! Right?

That’s exactly when you hear the door squeak open knowing damn well that old rusty door needs some oil or else it’s going to wake up everyone in this stupid apartment.

The covers still have a slight floraly scent to them although they could be switched again but who are you to judge. Your boyfriend isn’t going to sleep here anymore for quite some while so changing the sheets now would be kind of pointless.

“I thought you left me here all alone” you said as silent as possible. The sleepiness still evident in your voice but what got his attention is the sadness in your trembling voice.

“I just had a dry throat. Went to grab some water from the kitchen.” he chuckles trying to make you feel at ease “I would never just leave you like that” he reassures while sitting down on the bed. “Do you want some?” he offers you the small water bottle in his hand after taking a big gulp himself.

“No thank you”

You take the blanket off of you, toss it to the side and stand up just to move into his open arms. You can’t believe that moving on you won’t be able to cuddle him in the morning anymore, nor will he be there whenever you fall asleep on your books while studying to move you into bed or anytime else. And worst of all he wanted to break up with you yesterday night.

But you wouldn’t be you if you didn’t have a say in all of this and scold him like a little puppy who just came back home fully covered in mud.

“What do you mean you want a break!” your voice is stern yet you try not to be too loud knowing there are two little girls sleeping in the room next to you.

“You know I love you right? And I don’t want to keep you waiting for me. ___ I will be away for almost two years.” the sadness evident in his voice.

You stand up from the chair in front of his old desk where all of your study stuff is spread out and slowly walk towards him with your arms shrugged infront of your chest.

You haven’t been going through tons of shit with this man just for him to break up with you over a stupid military enlistment.

“Uhm excuse you but I’m not going to throw four years of relationship and a whole engagement away just because you have to enlist.” You look at him in disbelieve. “I don’t really know what’s going on in your head but you tell me. Why?”

“___ you are not making this any easier for me. I said if you want we can go on a break. I know this won’t be easy for any of us and the last thing I want is for you to feel somehow bound to me while I’m away. You are still young and the most beautiful girl I’ve seen around here. No one knows what the future holds for us but you are special and one day while I’m away another man is probably going to get to know that side of yours-“

“Stop right there.” you rudely interrupt him “so you are suggesting I’m going to find someone knew while you are away?” tears are welling up in your eyes.

“Okey okey stop. Listen don’t cry. I just don’t want you ti spend those two years waiting just for me to come back and nothing will be the same. I’m scared too, okey? And the last thing I want is for you to regret waiting for me.”

Oh no this is getting too emotional for the both of you.

You move closer to seokjin trying you best not to cry with him. This man is your world. You don’t even know how he could suggest that you don’t want to be with him anymore.

“I don’t want to be with anyone else and I’m going to wait for you! You hear me?”

And on that note, he swept you into his arms and went to bed with you.

You look up to the beautiful man’s face and smile at him. He really got his mothers beauty and on top of that he’s build. What could you ask for other than that.

He smiles back at you.

“Lemme touch your egghead” you chuckle and he joins you. While moving your hand along his shaved head he just lets you. After all you both don’t know when you’ll see each other again. In that instance the door to his room opens with a louder squeak now accompanied by little footsteps.

“Good morning” two little heads popped in through the door with wide smiles on them. Seokjin scooped up his little sisters and gave them lots of kisses while placing them on the bed with you. The younger on now shifting to you and hugging you. You’ve been at his place often enough to be close with his family. They really enjoy having you over especially the kids who quickly accepted you as a part of their family.

“Breakfast is ready” the older sister chimes in to inform the both of you “mom says you should eat to be extra strong when you want to kick butt” she says excitedly while you fix the little ones wild bed-hair into a little ponytail on the top of her head. Seokjin laughs at the silliness of his little sibling and responds “alright we will be there in a second let us change first” and thus the two girls exit the bedroom.

Seokjin turns around towards you after closing his bedroom door behind his sisters. You stand up on top of the bed and the tall handsome men walks towards you and lifts you up. You kling to him like a koala bear would kling to a tree.

Both of you looking deep into each others eyes and sadness evident in both of you. You are really trying not to but tears are starting to well up in your eyes again when thinking about having to send him off.

“___ I love you! Don’t be sad. I will do my best so I can get as many breaks as possible.” he assures you.

“I know I love you too. I just feel like a military wife who has to bid her last goodbye before her husband leaves for war.” you both chuckle at your dramatic ass.

“You know it doesn’t matter how long you’ll take. I will even wait those two years and longer to see you again.” you exclaim and he gives you your last deep kiss for a while.

Inspired by a dream I had.

Be mine

synopsis; your best friend and you have been inseparable ever since childhood but what will you do when he announces something unexpected

genre; f2?; fluff and a little bit of angst

pairing; hoseok x reader

wordcount; 1796 words

It’s summer time. Flowers blooming on green grass. Trees in full blossom and sprouting their fruits. Not a single cloud in sight on the light blue sky.

In the distance there are kids riding their bikes on the empty street, playing with a basketball on their front porch and right around the corner is a lemonade stand hustled by two girls one older but smaller and the other one younger but taller.

Only y/n seems to be bored on what could be perceived as a perfect summer day to play outside with friends. The only problem: her only „friend“ in the block being the neighbors son who’s on vacation with his family and all of her other friends livid too far away.

While sitting on the last step in front of her house leading to the door of her family home, she tried to remember when he was supposed to be back. At first she was keeping up with how many days where left until he would be back but after the fifth day of counting the four year old girl didn’t seem to remember on what day she was.

So the following week was the longest and most boring week of her life waiting outside staring right at the house of said boy until their silver Mercedes would be back in its place under the big pine tree that has been growing and living longer than her or in her mind longer than she could remember.

She always acted like she didn’t like the older boy but that of course was just one of her little white lies she would say so convincingly but truth is no one really believed her. After all she always sticks to the side of the six year old boy like glue with an exited smile.

All the waiting had an end when she hears a car approaching. The window behind the driver is completely open and a tall but slender figure is poking their toro out while waving wildly. “Y/n!” Can be heard all over the street and the little girl jumps up like a cartoon character at the shock of seeing the boy whose arrival she’s waited so longingly upon all week. A loud screech leaves her small body “hoseok!”

As soon as the car comes to a halt both of them run towards each other embracing one another in a big hug. “Look what I bought for you y/n” the taller boy says excitedly to the smaller girl appon breaking their hug. To his dismay he finds the little girl not as exited anymore teary eyes staring right at him and her bottom lip shivering slightly holding back her crying.

“You were gone forever what took you so long” she said trying not to cry while scolding the older boy. “Dummy” he laughs “I told you I would be back in eight days. Did you miscount again?” Not much to her amusement she get angry now blinking her tears away. “I’m not a dummy. I can count ‘till twenty” she huffs “and on top of that you were gone for more days and I was about to die from boringness!” she explains enthusiastically with her whole body.

A laugh erupts from the boy “It’s boredom not boringness and we were really just gone for 8 days” wrapping her back in a hug. His parents join the two now. “Hey y/n, how have you been?” Mrs._ asks the sulking girl. “Come on now … you have to help us unload the car and then unpack your suitcase.” She follows up by asking “can you tell your mom to come by later for a cup of tea y/n?” “Of course!” The little girl answers excitedly bidding them goodbye.

Y/n and is on her way home from school. Usually she doesn’t go alone but today she waited an extra thirty minutes for the older male but he never showed up and didn’t answer her texts either. So she made her way back before her mother would nag the fifteen year old for being too late.

The leaves on the trees around her are mostly already brown orange or yellow. An indication to the changing of season. She has already felt it this morning when she opened her window giving the colder than usual weather an opportunity to make its way inside her room. Regardless she wore long but too thin clothes in hopes of the weather getting warmer later on.

But that was a mistake. Her thin jacket doesn’t keep her warm enough resulting in a pink tint covering her nose and cheeks. The additional wait in the cold didn’t really help either making matters only worse. But she kept her mind positive. Something must have come up otherwise he never let her hanging.

Upon arrival at home her mother saw her through the kitchen window and started interrogating the poor girl before she could close the door. “Why are you so late and where is hoseok?” she asks, “Don’t tell me you two fought.” y/n looked up from her shoelace she’s been untangling giving her mother a slight frown before shifting back to her shoe. “When do we ever fight mom” is all y/n answers. “Well you used to as children” making y/n chuckle “yeah mom as you said when we were children” she turned around and walked towards the dining room. “What’s for dinner? I’m hungry”.

After dinner y/n went ahead to deal with her homework before it turned too dark outside. While she was trying to go through the math problems which seemed harder than usual specially today, her thoughts were interrupted by the doorbell. She could hear some people talking downstairs but couldn’t make out who it was. Minding her own business she went back to her homework ignoring the door closing downstairs and the chatter downstairs moving to the living room.

Someone walked up the stairs and opened the door to her room. “Y/n” he said and caught her attention. She turned in her chair to face him now “I’m sorry about earlier. Got in trouble and had to stay behind to talk to the teacher and when I got out you were already gone. I’m so sorry!”

Upon swing the apologetic look on his face, she cracked a laugh “it’s alright I knew you wouldn’t bail on me” which is true he would never leave her hanging. Not for another girl. Not for another boy. For nothing he would intentionally hurt his friend. “Come on now I bet you also have a load of homework to get through” she tells him pulling a second chair to her desk for him to sit on. He put his bag to the side and sat down. “Need some help?” He asks with a smile on his lips upon seeing all the crossed out equations on her notebook. “Yes please!”

Time went by way too fast. Winter break was already over and the fifteen year old would turn sixteen this year. Winter beak was fun. She spent lots of time with hoseok out in the snow. One day they went near the woods onto a hill they used to sled on as kids, build snowmen in their front porch and another day they went to ice skate on the frozen lake. It feels like yesterday where they were those two little inseparable kids. But reality is turning everything upside down.

Hoseok is about to turn 18 and graduate. An amazing opportunity has arisen for him to attend a prestigious university. But the university is too far for him to stay in their hometown. He broke the amazing news (not for u) at dinner on New Year’s Eve. You could see the excitement in his eyes while all the adults where listening closely to him talking about his dream university. The proudness evident in his parents eyes and you could see a glimpse of it in your mothers too. But your eyes, as much as y/n tried to hide it with a fake smile, they looked sad almost broken into a million pieces.

Later after dinner you and hoseok excused yourselves getting out of the house in your thickest clothes to go on a walk. Y/n was silent. She wanted to say something but all the thoughts roaming her head were to overwhelming to form a sentence. So they walked beside each other for a while until hoseok breaks the silence. He’s also contemplating on what to say. “You know me leaving doesn’t mean that I won’t ever come back. There are vacations and all the breaks between semesters where I’ll be back here.”

That’s when he saw that little glimps and the tears welling up in y/n’s eyes. He didn’t know what to say so he closed the distance between the two of them. But before he could go in to hug her, her sentence stopped him: “What if you forget about me?” Her voice cracks and the tears start falling. Little sobs leaving her lips and he didn’t know what to do. Y/n’s eyes were closed her head slightly tilted back in hopes that the tears would stop falling but she couldn’t helps it. The thought of her friend leaving was so heartbreaking to her. After all, all she knew was the boy who she could run to whenever something was up. He was her safe-space. No! He is her safe-space.

The feeling stopped though. A warm pair of lips in hers now and she stopped everything out of shock, her eyes shooting open. There he was her best friend standing so close to her she couldn’t even see him clear anymore, with his warm lips on hers. But that’s when she knew he wasn’t gonna leave her hanging here. The warmth started to rise in her checks and her tummy. Closing her eyes she actually felt the butterfly’s in her stomach flying around. Or is it the chicken from earlier trying to make it’s way back. We won’t know.

A loud pop in the air made both of them pull away from each other in shock. Someone started the fireworks too early. Hoseok checks his phone and the time shows 11:58pm. Both of them fall into laughter. This whole situation was just so absurd. So when they finally got a hold of themselves again they looked each other deep in the eyes. And under the rockets blasting in the air, decorating the sky in pretty all sorts of colors, they kiss each other deeply, no worries in mind.

eight year ache

pairing: ceo!jungkook x ex-richgirl!waitress!reader

genre: fluff, angst, mild smut, exes to lovers, modern persuasion au

rating: pg-15

sypnosis: He’s back in your life, and so is the misery and guilt you’ve fought so hard to tamp down in the past eight years.

warnings/tags: mentions/non-explicit descriptions of minor character death, car accident, alcohol addiction, classism, gambling, depression, grief, running away from home, ogling at someone’s behind, attempted sexual harassment (pinning someone against the wall), mild swearing, suffocating, punching, references to the movies pride & prejudice (2005) and persuasion (1995), kissing, grinding

w/c: 6,757

a/n: i’ve always wanted to write an austen novel-inspired au so here it is!! feedback is very much appreciated!!

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please do not modify, repost, or translate any of my works.

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date for me | jjk

↳ 𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬; you make him rethink a lot of things, one in particular, especially if it means no longer having you in his and his daughter’s future

⇢ 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: dilf!jungkook x reader

⇢ 𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: angst, fluff, smut, neighbors au, enemies to lovers (?)

⇢ 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: explicit language, mentions of sex, making out

⇢ 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 5k+

↳ previous parts

“Fuck, JK. Do you always keep toys on the couch?” Taehyung curses, pulling the baby rattle under his ass with an unpleasant scowl – the toy no longer digging into his asscheek. “Isn’t she too little for these toys anyway?”

“Sorry, they are kinda just everywhere.” Jungkook apologizes, the two men staring at him rather surprised that he had no snarky remark in return – the old Jungkook would’ve told him to fuck off.

Maybe the present Jungkook would’ve too because after all, he’s not so different. He’s just a dad now. But most importantly, he feels odd to have his friends to come over. After freshly becoming a father, he kind of avoided having them over. Not that they tried to have their way in. Even though his friends probably don’t understand what Jungkook had to go through, what he still has to go through, they’ve always been supportive and never tried to invade Jungkook’s new territory.

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a devil’s plaything I | knj

⟶ 𝑠𝑢𝑚𝑚𝑎𝑟𝑦: on halloween, you had met death. the next thing you knew, you were waking up in barren wastelands. it kinda sucks when you learn that you’ve been reincarnated as a demon. oh, and that you’re in the underworld. supernatural au.

⟶ 𝑝𝑎𝑖𝑟𝑖𝑛𝑔: devil!namjoon x succubus!reader ft. devil!taehyung

⟶ 𝑔𝑒𝑛𝑟𝑒: angst • fluff • smut

⟶ 𝑤𝑜𝑟𝑑 𝑐𝑜𝑢𝑛𝑡: 17.5k

⟶ 𝑤𝑎𝑟𝑛𝑖𝑛𝑔𝑠: just a light pre-warning, there’s a LOT of smut in this. Like,,, a lOT

⟶ 𝑤𝑎𝑟𝑛𝑖𝑛𝑔𝑠: dom!namjoon, possessive!namjoon, sub!reader, teasing, fingering, pussy slapping, dirty talk, collaring, bondage, namjoon has a big demon cock xxx, heavy bdsm elements, bdsm master/slave dynamics, spanking, degradation, praise, spitting, rough sex, doggy style/leapfrog position, squirting, creampie, cum play, cum swallowing, pussy eating, slight overstimulation, cum eating, blowjob, deepthroating, cockwarming but in a throat (does that make sense), riding, soft romantic sex yeehaw. may contain an abusive relationship. please do not read if the mentioned warnings trigger you

⟶ 𝑎/𝑛: this wasn’t actually supposed to be a two shot hnnnn but I wrote 4/9 scenes planned and it hit 17.5k and i was like 𝘺𝘪𝘬𝘦𝘴,, gotta cut it. so anyway, here is part one! i hope you enjoy it!!

⇥ part of the KSmutClub Monster Smash halloween project

⏤ Part I | Part II | Part III ⇥ incomplete

The slapping of feet echoes through the air as you dart through the unfamiliar streets. Lungs burning for oxygen, you gasp. You refuse to stop. Even though your muscles strain against your skin, the flesh prickling with heat as you push them towards exertion, you refuse to stop. You can’t stop. If you do, they’ll get you. So you keep running. The need to look behind consumes you - to see if they’re still following you. You shouldn’t. You know you shouldn’t. It would be a huge mistake - but you can’t help it.

Against your better judgement, you turn your head around, eyes widening when you see that they’re still chasing you - and closing the distance between you and them quickly. Your heart thunders in your ears; fear coursing through your veins. They’ll catch you soon. The turn of your head causes you to stumble slightly, and the world tilts as you find yourself falling.

Quickly, you catch yourself, your steps faltering only for a brief moment as you skid, your feet scraping the ground. You hiss as pain flares along your soles - but ignore it. In the split second that you stumble, they advance closer towards you. The hair on the back of your neck stands on edge as you feel one of their clawed hands brush against it. Whimpering, you force your feet to move faster. There’s absolutely no way you can stop now - even if your lungs burn from the lack of oxygen, even if your chest aches, and even if the muscles of your legs cry out for relief. If they get you, you’ll be far worse off.

You turn around a corner, narrowly missing one of their grasping hands and immediately stop, large, obsidian gates ahead of you. Relief rushes through you, and you flood with a sudden surge of energy. Using the newfound momentum, you force your legs to run faster before bursting through the gates. Once inside, you struggle to close them: the gates impossibly heavy. When they refuse to budge, your heart drops in your chest. Swiftly, you look up and see the demons that were chasing you. They’re only a few feet away. You let out a terrified sob, falling to the floor before hurriedly crawling away. Immediately, your eyes screw shut. Every single one of your muscles erratically quivers with fear.

They’ve got you.

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Toxicity || (kth)

⇥ pairing: taehyung x reader

⇥ genre: ex-boyfriend!taehyung, tattooed!taehyung, toxic!taehyung, smut, angst, tiny fluff 

⇥ summary: when your toxic ex comes back into your life, how can you resist him? 

⇥ word count: 6.2k+

⇥ warnings: cheating, vulgar language, so much dirty talk, unprotected sex (wrap it up guys), fingering, creampie, overstimulation, multiple orgasms, slight size kink, slight choking, both the reader and Tae being toxic together

a/n: THIS IS NOT MY PHOTO, THE LOVELY TAEHYUNG PHOTO WAS CREATED BY @taegguksm . THEY HAVE REALLY GOOD PHOTOS IM IN LOVE WITH. HERE’S THE ORIGINAL POST . I just really liked it and only added words. 

Anyways, I have not been motivated to write in a while, but this thought crashed into my skull so hard it had to be written. ^^ I hope you guys enjoy. 

“Why do you always have to be such an asshole?” chest heaving in exasperation, you rhetorically asked the taunting question.

“Why must you always make a big deal out of the smallest shit?” Taehyung shot back with the same amount of venom lacing his tongue.

How dare he minimalize your feelings? Treat you as if you have no right to be upset when you of all people was more correct than he ever was.

Like adding water to an oil fire, your flesh burned intensely, irritation evident on your face as your eyes lit up like a flame.

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How to Get a Guy. jjk | 02

PART 02 OF 02 | PART 01

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader | [slight] Yoongi x Reader

Genre: fluff, angst, smut, roommates!au, college!au, fuckboi!jk, enemies to friends to lovers

Summary: Star basketball player Jeon Jungkook has a reputation as the ultimate fuckboi. He’s loved by everyone. Everyone. And you would have followed suit if he had not broken all your strict Roommate Rules™ within the first week of his stay. Jungkook, on the other hand, thinks you’re absolutely bizarre. But there’s a silver lining — Mr. Fuckboi here knows basketball captain Min Yoongi, your dreadfully clueless crush. He strikes up a deal with you: he’ll teach you the ways of flirting if you lessen your load of rules (so Jungkook can continue perusing his way through the ladies on campus). Yet the longer Jungkook spends with you, the more he realizes that maybe he doesn’t want to be the campus fuckboi anymore. The problem is, how does he prove that to you?

Rating: 18+ sexual content.

Warnings: protected sex (twice..), oral (f. receiving), rough sex (1), a lot of making out, orgasm denial (for two secs methinks), titty sucking, cursing, alcohol consumption from parties, jk sleeps around (but not anymore?!), the basketball team is kinda disgusting, jk lowkey (highkey) be staking his claim but it’s seen in y/n pov, honestly jk and y/n are still hella confused

Word Count: 15.3k

a/n ✑ part dossss! thank you so much for waiting!! i adoreee this couple and i hope you enjoy the rest of their journey too <3 appreciate all of you guyss <33 (also there’s like.. one epilogue scene teehee)

Keep reading

How to Get a Guy. jjk | 02

PART 02 OF 02 | PART 01

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader | [slight] Yoongi x Reader

Genre: fluff, angst, smut, roommates!au, college!au, fuckboi!jk, enemies to friends to lovers

Summary: Star basketball player Jeon Jungkook has a reputation as the ultimate fuckboi. He’s loved by everyone. Everyone. And you would have followed suit if he had not broken all your strict Roommate Rules™ within the first week of his stay. Jungkook, on the other hand, thinks you’re absolutely bizarre. But there’s a silver lining — Mr. Fuckboi here knows basketball captain Min Yoongi, your dreadfully clueless crush. He strikes up a deal with you: he’ll teach you the ways of flirting if you lessen your load of rules (so Jungkook can continue perusing his way through the ladies on campus). Yet the longer Jungkook spends with you, the more he realizes that maybe he doesn’t want to be the campus fuckboi anymore. The problem is, how does he prove that to you?

Rating: 18+ sexual content.

Warnings: protected sex (twice..), oral (f. receiving), rough sex (1), a lot of making out, orgasm denial (for two secs methinks), titty sucking, cursing, alcohol consumption from parties, jk sleeps around (but not anymore?!), the basketball team is kinda disgusting, jk lowkey (highkey) be staking his claim but it’s seen in y/n pov, honestly jk and y/n are still hella confused

Word Count: 15.3k

a/n ✑ part dossss! thank you so much for waiting!! i adoreee this couple and i hope you enjoy the rest of their journey too <3 appreciate all of you guyss <33 (also there’s like.. one epilogue scene teehee)

Keep reading

Cookies

Jimin x reader | 18+ | oneshot | neighbors au | smut | oral | roleplay | swearing

Word: 3.2k

You made cookies, and it’s only fair to share it with your neighbors

You wave goodbye to your elderly neighbor, her wrinkled smile making your smile grow. You're going to miss her the most. You wish you didn't have to move, but with your promotion and them relocating you, there isn't much of a choice. You love your little, cozy apartment, and if the commute isn't so far, you’d stay. You'll miss your neighbors too. Well, the ones you talk to and know well enough to invite over for dinner.

Looking down in your hands was the last bag of baked cookies. Letting out a breath, you quickly fix your hair and dress. The last person to receive your cookies is your neighbor Jimin. The neighbor that all young women and men know about. The neighbor everyone wants to fuck, and some got lucky enough to do so. You only know because he makes the girls scream, and it only makes you wish you were one of them.

You'd never do it. It would only make you feel like just another one of his... play things. Through the numerous glances and seductive talks he would give you, you thought it would be best to show him what he's missing. For not asking you out once you suppose. You walk up to his door, room 33 and knock. Suddenly you feel ridiculous for dressing up so much. You're just saying bye, thanks and hand him his cookies. Why go over the top?

The sound of the lock turning told you it’s too late to change your mind. The door opens to reveal Jimin with nothing but a towel wrapped around him. Your eyes can't help but wander from his black hair sticking to his forehead to his toned abs shining from the water drops that are sliding down and disappearing beyond the black towel. You really wish you can see what’s underneath.

"Can I help you, princess?" he asks, voice raspy and just...

You blink and meet his eyes. "I just wanted to give you these as a thank you and farewell." He looks down at the bag in your hands, a brow lifted. "I'm moving next week, so I just wanted to give these to you. If you're allergic or something—"

"You can leave them on my counter," he says, opening the door wider for you as he walks away.

"I'm sorry?"

"The kitchen is to the left." He points down a doorway as he continues down the hall. "I'm going to change real quick." Then he disappears, leaving you standing outside his entrance.

You didn't know what to do but thought it was best to do what he says rather than stand there like an idiot when he comes back. So, you enter the apartment, close the door behind you, and make your way down the hall and enter the kitchen. You couldn't help but gawk at how nice and clean his kitchen is. White walls, dark wood cabinets and a small table in the corner for two people. What if he was a chef? With all the high end appliances, he must be a great cook. Realizing you're admiring his kitchen and still holding the baked goods, you walk over to his counter and set the cookies down. Is this marble?

"So you're moving?" You jump at the sound of his voice. You turn around, mouth open to answer his question—where is his shirt? Where is his shirt? He's obviously doing this on purpose. He crosses his arms over his chest and leans against the doorway. "You're moving?"

You shake your head, eyes going up to where his are. "Yeah. I got a raise and I'm being relocated, so it's best to find an apartment closer to where I work." He hums in response but nothing more. You move to the side and point to his gift. "This is a thank you and farewell gift."

"Thank you," he repeats, his head cocking lightly to the side in what looks like confusion.

"Yeah. A thank you for helping me when it came to my groceries, my mail and a lot of other things you didn't need to help me with but did. So, thank you." You open the bag out of nervousness because you don't know what to do now. "Would you like to try one?" you ask him, holding the bag open but not grabbing one. He might not like you touching his food. You don't know. You're nervous.

Jimin pushes himself off the doorway and walks over to you. You forced your eyes to stay on his. You know that if you look down at his pajama pants, you could probably see his junk. You're not a pervert. Nope. He is standing very close to you as he grabs a cookie out from the bag. Wow, he smells nice. Like pinewood? You're not sure but you could smell this all day.

"So you came over to give me these," he begins, stepping closer to you and forcing you to step back, "wearing my favorite dress of yours." You're backed up against the counter, his body a few inches from yours. His mint breath was fanning your face. You couldn't meet his intense gaze as you decided to look at his neck.

There was one time you wore this dress and you met Jimin in the hallway. You suppose in his flirty tone he complimented your dress. You felt butterflies when he told you what he thought.

"I... I didn't know it was your favorite dress," you half lie. You knew he liked it because of the compliment, but you didn't know he'd act like this with you wearing it. Alone. In his apartment.

He hums again. "Turn around."

"What?" you mumble, looking up at him.

"Turn around," he commands, and you do. Never touching his body with your own. "This is my favorite dress because of the back." You feel his finger brush along your bare back. Your dress had an open in the back. Not big, but enough to see. "Do you know what this dress does to me?" He places his hands on the counter, trapping you between his arms.

"No," you whisper, heart racing. You gasp, suddenly feeling him against you, his lower region fully on your butt. You could swear you feel his half erect member.

"The first time I saw you wearing this I wanted to rip it off you," he rasps in your ear. "Let you know just how hard you make me." He grinds against you, his penis getting more and more erect.

You let in a shaky breath. "I-um"—you swallow, gripping the bag for dear life— "I have to meet my boyfriend soon."

"Your boyfriend?"

You nod. "I have a boyfriend."

"You want to leave?" You can only nod, voice wanting to betray you with a small moan. "You're not attracted to me." You shake your head in agreement. "Then why are you moving your hips?"

At his words, you realized that you were moving your hips. You were grinding against him just like he was doing to you. "I don't know," you lie, but you actually stop and so does he.

"Where's your phone?" he asks you.

"In my pocket." The reason you love this dress so much is because of the pockets it has. It's amazing.

You feel him dig in your pocket and pull out your phone, handing it to you. "Text him and tell him you won't be coming," he instructs as you take your phone.

Your eyes widen. "I can't do that."

"Up to you, princess. I'm in the mood, and the things I can do to you..." he trails off, his hands on your hips and lower until it reaches the end of your dress.

You're a mess. You don't know what to do. With Jimin sliding his hands up your thighs under your dress was not helping. His fingers leave a hot trail in his wake and all you wanted to do was feel more of him. Feel his hands roam your body and feel his member inside of you. You're horny and you want him. So, you send a text to your boyfriend.

"Good girl," he tells you, voice deep and silky. He places a hand on your upper back and pushes you forward, forcing you to lean on the counter. He pushes your dress up until it reaches the middle of your back. He chuckles and you realize you're wearing a thong. "Picking all my favorites today." His hands are on your ass, squeezing them before he slaps your butt. You jump a bit, the bag of cookies now out of your hands. He was now at the bands of your underwear, pulling it down until it fell on its own. "So this boyfriend of yours," he begins, his feet lightly kicking your own to spread your legs, "have you had sex with him yet?"

You think back, but find it hard when his fingers brush along your walls. "Y-yes." How much longer until you feel his fingers in you?

"Is he good?"

Was he? "Yes." It's been so long since the two of you had sex. Always busy. Never has time. He finally reaches your bud. "He always makes sure I'm the first to come. Sometimes it happens twice before he comes." You moan as his fingers move in a circular motion.

"Do you think I'm bigger than him?" he inquires, his other hand swiftly unbuttoning the first two buttons of your dress to cup your breast and play with it.

"I don't know," you breathe, swirling your hips to try and feel more. Much to your dismay, he removes his fingers from your womanhood and your breast.

You want to complain but he orders, "On your knees, sweetheart." You're hot and bothered but do as told. Turning around to face him, you get on your knees, looking up to meet him. He only nods at you and you knew what he wanted. You grab the band of his sweats, heart racing with excitement as you pull them down. His cock was a lot bigger than your boyfriend’s. You're beyond excited now as you grab his warm, throbbing tool, bringing your mouth closer to it.

You back up at him, staring at him with lust as you slowly lick the tip. He licks his own lips in anticipation. You give another lick but this time starting at the end of his base and make your way up like you're licking a lollipop. "C'mon baby," he whispers, his hand pushing back a few strands of hair away from your face before holding all of it in his hands. "Show me how badly you want me."

Oh you want him all right. Doing one more lick at his tip, you finally put as much of him as you can in your mouth. You push further before pulling back, making sure you hollow out your cheeks. This motion continues for a while, slow and then quick all while Jimin curses under his breath. It seems like he let you go at your pace for a while before he decided it wasn't enough. With your hair in his hand, he guides you. His breathing is going ragged and he's now thrusting into your mouth rougher and deeper to the point where your nose is touching his waist and your eyes are watery. After a few more deep thrusts you feel his warm fluid fill your mouth. He pulls out and you swallow, breathing heavily.

Jimin can only smirk, releasing your hair and helping you up to your feet. "Bedroom, princess." You leave his kitchen, walking down the hall and guessing where his room is. "Clothes off," he calls from the kitchen as you find his room.

You wish you could admire his room, but all you want to do is remove your clothes and lie readily for him to ravage you. You slip your heels off, unbuttoning your dress and tossing it on the floor. You forgot your underwear is on the kitchen floor. Climbing onto his bed, you remain on your knees, waiting impatiently for him to come in. When you are about to touch yourself to keep your high going, Jimin walks in. You watch him as he climbs onto the bed and lies on his back.

He taps his lips with his finger. "Sit." You're eager as you crawl over to him and bring one leg on the other side of his head. You couldn't help but look down at him with uncertainty. "Don't be shy, baby. I'll fuck your brains out later." You feel chills run down your spine before scooting forward until his face was no longer seen. You could feel his warm breath before his tongue brushed between your lips. Your body could only jerk a bit from how sensitive you already are.

He explores every inch of your warmth, sucking on your clit and flicking it with his tongue. You're moaning, pressing your forehead against the wall as you enjoy the feeling of his mouth. Your boyfriend never let you sit on your face, nor did he hold you from trying to move away as he ate you out. Jimin is doing everything right as he explores you and finds your special spot and works there for a while before you feel his hands on your waist and actually moves you forward and back. You follow his instructions moving front and back, front and back until you are moving on your own, hand pulling his hair as you're practically moving at the fastest pace you could. You're louder, head up and movement no longer at a certain pace. You see stars as you ride in and out of your orgasm.

He holds you there, taking in all that he could before letting you climb off. He grabs the towel from his bedside to wipe his face from all that didn't make it in his mouth. You couldn't help but look down to see that he was hard once again. You're nervous as to what's to come. He holds his hand out to you, nodding for you to take it. As you do he pulls you closer to him. Scooting closer to him, Jimin cups your cheeks and presses his lips to yours.

The kiss isn't needy or rough. Jimin is kissing you softly and sensually. His tongue brushes along your lower lip, asking for entrance. When you open your mouth, he explores, his tongue dancing with yours as his hands roam your body. One hand plays with your breasts while the other goes back to your lower region. You moan into his mouth, body sensitive and not ready for him, but you still want it. Your hand went to his member and began to stroke him, hoping he felt the same pleasure he was giving you.

He breaks the kiss. "You're pretty wet," he states, stroking your bud one last time. "I'm not wet enough." Catching on to what he means, you push yourself back just enough to lean down and take him in your mouth once again. You didn't lick him or tease him; you went straight for sucking him to the point where he was breathing heavy. He places his hand under your chin and taps your cheek as he says, "It's too early for me to come again." You sit up. "I want to actually fuck you first. Lie down." You lie on your back and watch him move between your legs and align his shaft. "I'm not going to be soft, love. I want to hear you." He pushes himself in and you gasp. He's big and is filling you in all the right places.

Once he's fully in he slowly brings himself out, and once he's almost at the tip, Jimin slams into you. From there he doesn't stop his pace. He grips your hips and thrusts into you with so much force. "Oh my—" you choke on a moan that escapes your lips. You grab onto the frame of the bed to try and keep you still, but that only forces the frame to bang against the wall.

"Come on. I want the neighbors to hear you scream," he grunts, thrusting even harder to earn a louder moan from you. "He's a dick who always steals random shit from me." Another moan. "I know you can be louder than that." Jimin pulls out, turning you on your stomach. He pushes himself back in and continues his rugged thrusts. He grabs your arms and pulls you up to him. He keeps one grip on your arm while the other goes to your neck, pulling your head back to rest on his shoulder. He whispers harshly in your ear, "The noises that are leaving your mouth are incredible."

You can feel that high, and it's coming quick. "I'm almost there," you choke, almost screaming in ecstasy when his hand holding your arm is now forming circular motions on our clit. "Please don't stop. Please."

He lets you go. You fall onto the mattress, his hand on your lower back keeping you pinned down while the other is gripping your waist again. "Come for me, baby. Scream. I want to hear you scream out your orgasm." The only thing you could hear was the sound of the sound of the headboard hitting the wall, the sound of your moans, and the faint skin slapping against one another. Then everything was silenced out by your screams from the orgasm you were having. "Fuck, you're tight," he rasps, thrusting no longer in a pace but all over the place as you feel his warm seed fill you. He continues his thrusts until he stops and slowly pulls out to collapse next to you. The two of you are breathing heavily as you turn on your back, staring up at his white ceiling.

"That was amazing," you tell him, chest heaving.

"Hell yeah it was. We should do that more often." From the corner of your eye, you see him shift a bit. He chuckles, earning your attention. He holds his phone out towards you. "Is this what you would have told your ex if we did this in the beginning?" You read the text you sent him.

[6:03 pm] Love: Sorry

You shrug. "I wasn't expecting you to start so early."

"You wore my favorite dress, and I saw you lower the v-line to show your cleavage. I couldn't help myself."

You raise an eyebrow. "You were looking through the peephole?"

"I was ready to fuck you when you asked to role play one of our encounters in the beginning. I wasn't expecting to see the baked cookies again," he laughs.

"Well after we started dating, you told me you loved the cookies and the dress was hot on me, so I had to do it for you," you answer.

"Well, hopefully we can still do it once we move into the new apartment," he sighs, running his hand through his hair. He glances at you. "Same time tomorrow?"

You chuckle, "Sure."

"Maybe we can do it in your apartment." You laugh even louder. "I'll bring the cookies."

Always Find You

Taehyung x reader | pg15 | oneshot | soulmate au | strangers to lovers | friends to lovers | angst | fluff | mentions of death | cigarette smoking | swearing

Amazing banner maker @ressjeon​ thank you so much love ♡

Word: 3.9k

Again and again Taehyung has seen you appear before him, and again and again you’re never within his grasp. No matter where you go, what life you live, he’ll always find you. 

To @crazy4myself I’m your secret admirer :) I truly hope you like this fic. I know I told you that I had something planned based off everything you told me, but I couldn’t help but write this, and the time crunching is totally my fault because I do not know what planning is lol. But I hope you like it and I really enjoyed our conversations even though school was just kicking my ass lol. Happy Valentine’s Day! ♡

When Taehyung first saw you, he forgot how to breathe.

You stand on the balcony looking out onto the hundreds of knights pledging their lives to your family. He is one of those knights. 

Your hair is up in a perfect bun, the crown shining brightly at the top of your head, but your smile—God when you smile it’s like his whole world is brighter than it’s ever been. Your father—the king, is speaking to the crowd below him. He’s loud, encouraging, speaking with so much motivation that he knows His Royal Highness is so well versed in this that there’s no emotion in them anymore. 

They’re all sent off to a worthless war and nearly less than half comeback to tell the tale. It’s just an endless cycle until all kingdoms stop fighting for land. It’s a cycle Taehyung happened to be born into. A simple commoner who was chosen to fight for his king. 

His eyes avert back to you, watching you as you remain stoic and beautiful. He wonders if he were born into a higher class, would you notice him? Would those mysterious eyes meet his one day? Would you smile his way? Would he be your first pick over the huge line of suitors wanting to take your hand even though he has nothing?

“The kingdom and its people are forever grateful for your heroic actions to protect us!” the king bellows, his hand outstretched towards his knights as if he’s blessing them all before their deaths. 

The men yell in response as they march forward, through the gate and towards the enemy line. As he follows, Taehyung manages to get one last glance towards you, your radiant smile sending a chill down his spine. It’s all the encouragement he needs to march forward and fight this damn fight. 

Taehyung never made it back home that day. 

When Taehyung was a kid, his dad told him the stories of soulmates. A story that when two soulmates meet, their fate is sealed with a kiss. A kiss that binds them together forever. Taehyung always thought that story was ridiculous. A kiss sealing the two? 

He thought it was even more ridiculous when his dad added, “When two soulmates do not seal their destiny with a kiss, their life is repeated. When they die, they are reincarnated and are set to find their soulmates once again. This cycle is repeated over and over again until they’re together.” 

He would laugh at the story his father always told him until one day he saw you. 

You’re wearing a black and white polka dot dress, your small heels clicking against the concrete floor as you run, a book clutched to your chest. You look excited, your eyes shining more brightly than they did when you looked out across the sea of knights ready for war. Taehyung never believed in soulmates until that day. Until that day where he saw you for the second time in his life, a memory he always thought was a dream became his past life.

He wonders where you’re heading. To school maybe? The building is in that general direction. What are you like in class? With that excited look on your face, he’s guessing you’re the first one to raise your hand when the teacher asks a question. The kind of student who writes almost everything down so that you can go over it after class when you’re home. You might be the kind of person who prefers to study and learn new things rather than play with the other kids. 

He wishes he can go to school. To see what you’re like personally. Yet he can’t. Taehyung learns what he can from his mom when he’s not working. It seems like in this lifetime, Taehyung has to make ends meet. 

Taehyung wants to meet you. He wants to meet the person who may be his soulmate—who he wants to be his soulmate. He’s seen you before, and here you are again… this is fate right?

“Taehyung! Get back to work,” his boss yells, lifting a rock almost twice Taehyung’s size up and onto the wooden barrel.

“Yes Sir,” he calls back, grabbing a rock heavier than his own weight to place into the barrel that is one rock away from breaking. 

Would he want to kiss you in this lifetime? In this lifetime where your life is so much better than his? Where you can find a better suitor than him that will take care of you because he’s better than Taehyung? What if you already found someone? Is it too late for him to meet you? 

What if you’re not his soulmate, but someone who is sent to make him believe you are? What if in every life he lives, you’re there to torment him? 

Soulmates are stupid. They don’t exist—

“Taehyung watch out!” 

Soulmates are stupid… right?

When he sees you again, Taehyung learns your name. Y/N. 

He’s never heard such a beautiful name in his entire life. Your name makes his heart race, and your voice…

He finally gets to meet you—see you closer than he has before. See the details in your eyes, the way they gleam when you talk about something you love. The way a blush tint crosses your face when you realize you’ve been talking for too long. 

You’re perfect. 

Everything about you is perfect to him. He wants to be with you already. He’s seen you in so many of his past lives, learning a thing here and there, but now you’re here. Sitting across from him in your yellow dress, your hands clutching onto it as you watch the bottle spin round and round. 

Will it land on him? Will today be the day your fates are sealed? 

The bottle slows, his heart practically in his throat as the bottle finally comes to a stop. Butterflies erupt in his stomach as he glances up at you from the bottle that is pointing at him. He can see that cute blush tint on your cheeks as you meet his eyes. 

He’ll make you happy. He’ll give you everything you want if it means he can see that smile everyday for the rest of his life. He’ll work ten times harder to give you the life you deserve—nothing will stand in his way. 

The crowd cheers as the two of you lean towards one another, but their cheers are soon tuned out by the rapid beating of his heart. He can feel your warm breath hitting his lips, your nose brushing against his own. 

“The cops are coming!” 

He no longer feels your breath against his skin. 

“Fuck,” he mutters, head hanging low in defeat. 

Why is fate toying with him?

Jumping to his feet, Taehyung runs with the crowd of frightened and excited teens up the stairs towards the kitchen and out the kitchen door that leads to the backyard. No cops have entered the backyard yet, so he can just hop a few fences and be in the clear. 

“Damn shame you didn’t get that kiss,” Zane says, placing a hand on Taehyung’s shoulder in sympathy. “That would have been one helluva kiss.” 

Taehyung sighs, “No kidding.” 

“We better leave before the cops show up,” Zane says, running ahead and over the fence with ease. 

Of course he makes it look easy. He’s the school’s star athlete, but Taehyung on the other hand…

Getting a running start, Taehyung grabs onto the fence, jumping as high as he can, throwing one leg over the fence. His other leg, on the other hand, hits the fence, causing him to lose his grip and sends him to the ground, landing on his back. Taehyung lets out a low groan, lying still as he regains his ability to breathe. 

Zane leans over him, a smug grin plastered on his damn face. “For someone who fights a lot, you sure don’t know how to land on your feet.” 

“Shut the hell up,” Taehyung mutters, taking Zane’s extended hand as he gets up. The sound of sirens are loud and clear, yelling is faint but there. 

“Put that stamina to good use, Tae,” Zane says before taking off. 

Taehyung got away like usual. With how often he’s had run ins with the police, he might as well be an expert in getaways. That’s no life he should be living if this is the life he completes with you. He needs to do better—be better for you.

Tossing the extinguished cigarette along with the pile, Taehyung walks past the library building with a direction in mind. If you’re not in the library like he originally thought, that means you’re somewhere on campus chatting with your friends or alone, letting the warm rays of sun keep you warm on this breezy day. 

Rounding the corner, Taehyung stops dead in his tracks, his heart dropping to his stomach. Zane breaks the kiss, a familiar blush tint gracing its presence across your face as you look down in embarrassment. Zane grins as he caresses your cheek—the cheek that only Taehyung is meant to touch. 

Once again, you’re taken away from him. 

“So it’s a date then?” Zane asks, his tone full of pride it makes Taehyung sick. What pride does he get out of this for taking someone else’s soulmate away from them?

“It’s a date,” you mutter, the smallest smile showing on your lips. 

Taehyung doesn’t stick around to see your lips meet Zane’s again. He doesn’t stick around for the next class to start. 

He’s tired. 

He’s tired of being born over and over again. He’s tired of seeing you within his grasp only to be taken away from him. He’s tired of going through family after family—each family slowly being forgotten—so many memories blurring together that he doesn’t know which parent belongs to which life.

But he knows one thing. His dad is a liar. Whichever one told him of soulmates is a liar. They’re not real. Having a soulmate is bull shit. There’s no binding, no happily ever after. Everything is a lie. The only thing Taehyung is living a life where he sees the one person he believes to be his soulmate taunt him with the idea of being together. 

“Damnit,” he cries, furiously wiping away the tears that never seem to stop falling. 

He wants to be happy, why is that so hard to ask for?

Taehyung feels the warm rays of the sun warm his face, the sounds of people chatting, and a few birds chirping as he slowly begins to wake up. He wonders how long he’s been sleeping. A few minutes? Hours? Either way, after a whole day of cram studying, that rest was definitely needed. 

He opens his eyes to a slit, shutting them close from the bright sun. He sits up, resting his elbows on the table and rubbing his eyes of sleep. “Morning, sunshine,” a voice next to him says as he turns to look at the figure. 

You don’t bother looking at him as your eyes travel from your textbook to your notes. “How long was I out?” he asks you in a gravelly tone. 

“Not sure. I’ve been here for about fifteen minutes, so more than that,” you answer, flipping to the next page to continue your notes. Taehyung rests his chin on his hand, watching you work diligently. 

He wonders how much longer fate will toy with him. Life after life he’s watching you slip through his fingers. He’s tried different approaches to getting you, and each attempt was a joke. Heartache after heartache. 

This time… he could just laugh at how fucked up fate is. 

In this life, Taehyung grew up to be your best friend since the two of you were infants. Your mom has been friends with his mom since they were in college. The two of you are inseparable. Wherever you go, he’s right behind you. Taehyung has been with you through it all. From when you lost your favorite toy, to your first ever heartache. Everything you’ve been through, and you’re still a fighter. 

He admires you and in love with you. There’s the smallest chance that this life will be his last. Maybe he’ll finally be your soulmate like he’s meant to be. He wants to—oh how he wants to be. 

“What are you staring at?” you ask, bringing him out of his thoughts. 

He blinks a few times, watching you stare at him with curious eyes. “Do you believe in soulmates?” he finally questions. 

You frown in confusion. “Soulmates? Where’d that come from?”

He shrugs, dropping his hand from his chin and leans back in his seat. “Just curious.” 

You don’t remember him. In all your lives you two have had, never once did you recognize him. He wonders, if you remembered, would you kiss him? Would things change if you remembered? 

You’re quiet for a moment, thinking about his question, eyes drifting off somewhere he believes is your own world. You tap your pencil against your notebook, the small beat matching his heart. “I do,” you begin, setting your pencil down, “I believe you can have multiple soulmates in your life. Sometimes you can look at a stranger and just know they’re going to be very important to you in the near future, and I love moments like that.” You look to him again. “I think you’re my twin flame,” you add, that adorable blush gracing your cheeks. 

“Twin flame?” he questions. What’s a twin flame? Why are you blushing? Is it embarrassing? What the hell is a twin flame? 

“Well would you look at the time,” you start, suddenly changing the subject, “I’m gonna be late for class if I don’t leave now.” He watches you rise from your seat, collecting your belongings as you rush to leave. 

“You can’t just leave without telling me what a twin flame is, Y/N,” he tells you, trying to grab something of yours so that you don’t leave, but you’re quicker than he is. “Why were you blushing? Is it something embarrassing? What does it mean,” he complains, watching you leave him alone at the table. “Y/N!” he calls, groaning when you don’t turn around. 

He never got you to explain what a twin flame is, and it slips his mind to just look it up. It’s not that hard for him to get easily distracted by you. Especially when he’s head over heels in love with you. 

You leap onto his back with little time for him to catch you. You wrap your arms around his neck as you nestle your head on his shoulder. “Thanks for walking me home, Tae,” you tell him. 

“I think you mean ride,” he corrects, hoisting you higher so that he has a better hold of you. 

You giggle in response before going silent. Nothing is said between the two of you as Taehyung walks the two of you towards your house. He feels you grip him a little tighter before breaking the silence, “Do you believe in soulmates?”

Taehyung almost stops in his tracks, but he manages to keep going, never showing a small change in his pace. If you knew the lives he’s lived, the different ways he’s met you…

“I want to,” he answers. 

“What’s keeping you from believing?”

He’s quiet for a moment. How does he tell you it’s because every time he sees you, you don’t see him? How does he tell you that he’s been in love with you for as long as he can remember, and that every life you two have lived, you were never his?

“What if in our past lives, we were never soulmates? What if we crossed paths, but never met the way we are supposed to?” Taehyung looks left then right before crossing the street. “There’s no real sign in knowing who your soulmate is.” 

You hum in response, but that hum tells him that you think differently and that you’re about to tell him he’s wrong. And he’s right because you say, “I think if you’ve met your soulmate in your past lives, then they are your soulmate. It just wasn’t the time to be with them. Fate is just waiting for that perfect moment before you two find each other again.” 

Taehyung scoffs, “You and I are completely different, Y/N.” 

You giggle as he helps you down from his back, the two of you stand in front of your house. “Everyone has a soulmate, Tae.” You dig in your bag for your keys, looking through each key for your house key. “And as my twin, you’ll always find me, right?” You look up to meet his gaze. 

He frowns in slight confusion, but answers, “I’ll always find you.” 

You smile at him, and the world around him seems to stop. “I’m glad to hear that.” 

A few days have passed since Taehyung last saw you. You told him you’ll be busy with an assignment that’s due this Sunday, so Taehyung agrees to let you have your space. 

It’s Sunday and Taehyung is sitting at the usual meeting spot on campus. He’s surprised there are quite a lot of people on campus when it’s a Sunday and Valentine’s Day to be exact. It’s the day of love, a day Taehyung has experienced way too many times. 

He stares off in the direction you should be coming from, complete boredom etched onto his face as he waits for you. You better get an A if you’re making him wait for you on campus...on a weekend. As he begins to close his eyes, a shadowed figure appears in his peripheral. Taehyung turns in the direction of the figure to see a familiar face. A familiar face with no name coming to mind. 

“Hey, I thought I’d find you here,” she says, twirling her blonde hair with her fingers. 

“Ah, yeah. Just waiting for Y/N,” he replies. What is her name?

She nods. “Then we have time to talk real quick before Y/N gets here.” 

Taehyung gestures to the seat across from him. “What’s up?”

The blonde takes the offer and sits across from Taehyung, looking nervous suddenly. “We’ve known each other for a while, and during that time we’ve known each other, you’ve been a great guy. You’re kind, funny, very good looking”—there’s no way this is going where he thinks it’s going—”and during that time, I’ve grown to have feelings for you.” She fidgets in her seat like some lovesick teenager. “I really like you and I was wondering if you would like to go out sometime,” she rushes, looking down then back up to Taehyung. 

This is a first. In all his lives, no one has ever confessed their feelings towards him.

“Um.” He clears his throat. “I’m flattered, but there’s someone else I’ve been chasing my entire life.” 

“Oh,” she mutters, looking dejected as she looks down. “She’s a lucky girl.” 

Taehyung wants to laugh. If only she knew. 

Another fifteen minutes go by and he grows tired of waiting for you. Grabbing his phone, Taehyung begins his search for you at the building you said you would be at. He searches high and low, but you’re not there. 

Where the hell are you?

Thinking of all the places you can be, Taehyung begins his search all over campus. It takes him almost half an hour of searching when he finally finds you. His anger is on a whole new level when he reaches you. 

Your back is to him, but he finds you sitting on a bench practically at the edge of campus. “Why didn’t you answer your phone? I’ve been looking for you for half an hour, Y/N,” Taehyung says, frustration clearly evident in his tone. 

You jump from the sudden break in silence. You don’t turn around to look at him, so he goes to take a seat across from you, but when he sees you, his anger is gone and is replaced with concern and confusion. “Have you been crying?”

“No,” you lie.

“Y/N,” he begins, waiting for your gaze to meet his, “I’ve known you for our entire lives. I know when you’ve been crying. Did you get a bad grade on your assignment?” he asks, leaning forward to rest his elbows on his knees. 

“I’m surprised you found me,” you confess, trying to change the subject. 

Taehyung isn’t having it. “I told you I’ll always find you. So you failed and that’s why you’re crying?”

You sniffle and scoff, “I wish that was it.” 

Taehyung sighs in slight frustration. “Then what is it?” You’re silent for a while, avoiding his gaze. “Y/N,” he says more firmly. He’s not playing these games today.

You groan in your own frustration. “It’s this stupid guy,” you finally answer. 

Taehyung wants to leave. Of course it is. Of course fate isn’t done playing with him. 

“What? Did he reject you on Valentine’s Day? Should I go kick his ass?” Fuck fate. Fuck soulmates. Fuck all of this!

“If you can kick your own ass then go right ahead,” you reply in an aggrieved tone. 

Taehyung is frozen, your words not registering in his head. “What?”

“Oh my God”—you jump to your feet in pure frustration—”it’s you! You’re the stupid guy!” 

Taehyung rises to his feet as well. “Me? What’d I do?” What the hell are you talking about?

“I sometimes wonder how you can be so oblivious, or maybe I’m not good at showing how I feel.” You run a hand through your hair, that familiar tint of blush growing on your face. “I’m in love with you, Tae—hell, I think I’ve been in love with you since we were kids. But then I saw Stasia with you, and I heard her asking you out and-and I just couldn’t stand by and watch another person try and win you over when I’ve been standing beside you for years!”

It’s like everything fell of deaf ears after he heard the word “love”. You’re in love with him. You love him. Is this a joke? It can’t be right? Because after what felt like hundreds of lives—life after life of just chasing you, has he finally caught up with you? Is this it?

“—I mean she’s beautiful and funny and talented. I would go out with her, too, if i were you. Anyone would be lucky—” 

In a few quick strides, Taehyung is in front of you, his hands cupping your cheeks and bringing your face up to look at him. There’s a look of shock on your face, but he can’t hold back any longer. He brings his lips to yours, and after a few seconds, you kiss him back. 

Taehyung had always wondered if soulmates are real. He always wondered if kissing your soulmate would bind two people together. He always thought it was a tale, but as he kisses you, he feels like the clock within him finally begins to tick. Like his life is finally beginning. His life with you is beginning. No more being reborn. No more chasing. 

He finally caught up to you. 

Tears stream down Taehyung's face as you break the kiss. "What's wrong?" you ask with worry in your tone. 

Taehyung shakes his head, opening his eyes to meet yours. "I've waited so long for you." 

You give him a small smile, wiping away the tears. "I'm sorry it took me so long." He shakes his head again and kisses you. It doesn't matter how long he'd have to wait. 

If it's you, he'll wait a lifetime.

The String that Binds Us

Jungkook x reader | pg 13 | oneshot | bangtanarmynet event | soulmate au | florist au | strangers to lovers | angst | fluff | swearing | mentions of cheating

Word: 1.6k 

prompts: ◦ "have you ever kissed someone in the rain?" ◦ on a spring morning, A notices something; a red string attached to their finger. where will it lead them?

In a world where memories are stored in a phone, creating them is just as easy as deleting them

Jungkook adjusts the vase full of sunflowers on the counter, trying his best not to look at the flowers fully. He hates sunflowers. Everything about them makes him want to throw them across the room. To just completely throw them out of the shop, but Seokjin won’t allow him to do that. No matter how much he loathes them. 

The gloves make his palms sweaty and itchy, his fingers getting the only kind of freedom of air. He wants to take them off, but he doesn’t want to see the red string on his finger. He wants nothing to do with it. 

“Quit staring at the sunflowers if you’re just going to look at them like they’re the ugliest thing in the world,” he can hear Seokjin say from behind him. Jungkook finally turns his attention away from the flowers and towards the shop owner and his friend. “There are plenty of other flowers that need tending to,” Seokjin adds, placing his clipboard next to the register on the counter. 

“Then can you stop asking me to tend to those?” he mumbles, jabbing his thumb towards the flowers. 

Seokjin deadpans, answering, “You’re supposed to tend to all the flowers. Not just the ones you like.” Jungkook can’t hide his face of dissatisfaction as he makes his way towards the back of the shop to take care of the other flowers. “Don’t blame the flowers for reminding you of her,” Seokjin asserts, causing Jungkook to stop in his tracks.

“It would be much easier to forget her if there weren't sunflowers everywhere in this shop! They’re not even in bloom—why do you have them?” Jungkook argues, whirling around on his friend.

“Because people love sunflowers. Don’t blame them for your mistake. If you want the constant reminder to stop, then erase her from your memory, but you won’t,” Seokjin counters, stepping in front of the counter and leans against it, “because you fucked up, Jungkook, not her.” 

The pang of guilt pierces through Jungkook’s heart. The guilt and pain he’s been dealing with since you erased him from your memory. Hell, since before that. When he fell for someone else when he was with you. He fucked up. He ruined his whole future with you. He hates himself more than anything, and he loves you more than anything in this world.

Yet he cheated on you.

And you found out.

And you erased all memories of him from your phone, erasing any memory you saved of him. 

Jungkook grabs the apron off the hook, putting it on himself as he gets ready for work. Seokjin called him at the crack of dawn for him to come in to work today. As much as Jungkook didn’t want to come in, it’s money that he needs. So here he is. 

He puts his keys and phone in his box, grabbing his name tag and pinning it to his apron on the right side of his chest. Making his way out of the backroom, Jungkook feels a tug at his finger, his hand jerking forward. He looks down to see a red string tied to his index finger.

When did that get there? Did his finger get caught in a string that was in his apron? 

Grabbing the end of the string, Jungkook pulls at it, expecting it to come undone, but it doesn’t. He frowns in confusion, pulling at the string again, yet it remains wrapped around his finger. 

“What the hell is this?” he mumbles, eyes following the string leading across the shop and through the door. “What the fu—”

A hand grabs a hold of Jungkook’s wrist, causing his attention to turn away from the strange red string to see Jimin staring at Jungkook’s hand with wide, excited eyes. “Holy shit, Kook. Your soulmate’s been found,” he says with more excitement than Jungkook has ever seen in his friend. 

“Soulmate? What are you talking about?” he questions, bringing his arm back to him from the grip of his friend. 

“Dude, the red string ties you to your soulmate! Everyone has it—you’ve never heard of it before?” Jimin’s gaze goes from his finger to Jungkook’s confused gaze. 

“No.” 

Jimin pats Jungkook’s back with a loud smack. “Go follow the string. Obviously your soulmate wants to find you if the string is tugging.” When Jungkook doesn’t budge, obviously cautious in this sudden change, Jimin adds, “It’s okay to be scared, Kook. It’s sudden and new, but when you meet them, everything will click.” 

Jungkook isn’t scared—at least he isn’t going to admit to it, but he’s more confused than anything. However, no matter how much his gut is telling him to not go, Jungkook walks across the shop and out the door towards you

He never felt so happy to have met you. He fell in love almost instantly. You’re everything he could ask for in a soulmate, but he lost it all in a moment. 

He hates himself. 

He hates how weak he was to have been swayed to be with someone else. 

The memory of you finding out invades his memory so clearly. It’s like a storm in his head—the look in your eyes, the way they held so much pain and confusion. The tears that rolled down your cheeks and the way your body shook with so much anger. 

Y/N! Hey—waitwaitwaitwaitwait.” He grabs your wrist, stopping you from taking any more steps. You turn to look at him, and his heart drops. There’s no love in your eyes. There’s no sign of any affection for him in your beautiful, glossy eyes. “It’s not—” 

“It’s exactly what it looks like, Jungkook,” you interrupt in an aggrieved tone, and he hates it. “Why did you do it?”

“I…” He doesn’t know in all honesty. He doesn't know why he kissed her, or even slept with her. She’s different? A breath of fresh air—different air. How does he describe that he’s been with you for so long that he feels like he’s stuck? Like he’s just following what life tells him to do?

“I don’t know,” he whispers, his grip on your wrist loosening. 

You jerk your hand from his weak hold, eyes full of hate. “I never want to see you again.” 

The next time he saw you… you…

A lump in Jungkook’s throat forms, forcing him to swallow it down. You deleted any photos of him so easily. It’s like you had no hesitation whatsoever when removing him from your memory and life. 

How could you—how could he do that to you? 

Someone so beautiful, caring, and perfect for him. Yet he fucked up so easily. He hates himself. He wishes he never met you, fell in love with you, hurt you. 

“I know I fucked up,” Jungkook finally admits, grabbing a box full of lilacs that need to be displayed in an empty spot. “I’m reminded everyday of it.” 

Seokjin is quiet for a moment. Jungkook can feel his eyes on him as he works. Finally, Seokjin breaks the silence with a sigh. “It’s never too late to move on, Kook. Yes you made a mistake, but that doesn’t mean you don’t deserve to be happy.” 

He’ll be happy if he can just forget you. He’ll be happy if he can erase every trace of you from his memory. He’ll be happy if he never meets you again. 

It’s raining hard, the two standing under the awning of the shop, watching and waiting for the rain to stop. It’s silent between the two of you, no words are spoken. He’s shy to say anything. He wonders if you’re shy like he is. 

“Have you ever kissed someone in the rain?” you suddenly ask, breaking the silence.

Jungkook turns to look at you in complete shock, but when you look at him, you’re curious and… blushing. He clears his throat and answers, “I haven’t.” 

You don’t say anything for a moment, but then you finally ask, “Would you like to?”

That kiss… that kiss is something so different. Butterflies erupt in his stomach, sparks fly, and so much more. He’s never felt so happy to have kissed you that day in the rain.

Happy. 

Jungkook stops his task, numbly making his way towards the back room. “Jungkook,” he hears Seokjin call after, his footsteps echoing behind him. “Is this what you really want?” Jungkook stands in front of his box, grabbing his phone and unlocking it. 

“I want to be happy.” He goes to his photos, the file that has haunted him for months mocks him. He presses his finger against the file, his phone vibrating for a moment before options are displayed before him. The delete button calls to him. Giving him the world he wants to live in. “I want…” 

Jungkook presses delete. 

“Kook?”

Jungkook turns his attention away from his phone and looks to his friend. “Yes?” 

“Are,” Seokjin begins, shifting his weight from one leg to the other, “are you okay?”

Jungkook frowns in confusion. “Yeah. Why?”

His friend shakes his head in reply. “No reason.” The bell chimes from the shop. “Welp, time to work,” he chuckles, awkwardly, turning away from him and leaving the room. “Welcome—” Seokjin stops at the doorway, frozen. 

Jungkook cocks his head, locking his phone and placing it back in his box before walking up to his boss. He looks to Seokjin then past him, at a girl who is looking at sunflowers. She finally looks up and towards the two of them, her eyes bright and shining like sunflowers. 

So many emotions whirl within Jungkook and he has no idea why, but what shocks him the most is when there’s a sharp pain in his chest and tears roll down his cheeks.

Empty Promises

Namjoon x reader | pg15 | two part | angst | mentions of cheating | break up

Word: 3.7k

You’ve spent so much of your time loving him and seeing a future with him, only for him to crash it all down within a day

Chapter Index

How do you stop something from happening?

How do you stop the pain in your chest from hurting even more as you stand in the center of all the fair games, watching as he walks away, a girl trailing after him. Their fingers intertwining with one another.

Just like the ice cream on the floor by your feet, the cone pointing up as a result from the fall, your world crashes so suddenly.

But let's start from the beginning of this. The beginning of what you thought would be a nice date. The beginning of empty promises.

You hold two dresses up to you, one long while the other stops to your knees. You debate the heat, the location and the chances of the dress getting dirty. Staring at the two dresses for a bit longer, you toss the white, long dress to your bed and remove the hanger from the navy blue, lily flowered dress. You slip it on, careful not to mess up your make-up you spent an hour long perfecting. You want everything to be perfect. Everything so perfect that your boyfriend of four years will look at you like he's barely met you for the first time. Like he wants to ask you out on a date like he did all those years ago with nerves so evident in his tone and eyes.

Today should be the day. Today should be the day Namjoon takes you to the beach, gets down on one knee, the look of nervousness in his eyes as he pulls out a box, tells you all the right words and then asks you to marry him. You'll cover your mouth from shock, eyes blurry from the tears forming and the crowd that formed cheering as you nod your head, stick your hand out and watch him slip the ring on your finger.

You smile at the thought as you grab a pair of white flats out from your closet and place them in front of your feet. You slip on your shoes, eyeing yourself in the mirror as you fix your hair before leaving your bedroom and making your way towards the front door. Grabbing your purse and phone off the kitchen island, you pluck your keys out from the glass bowl next to the door and head out.

The door closes behind you, the sound of the lock moving into place as you unlock your cellphone and head down the hall. After doing the same routine for so long, your feet naturally know where to go as your fingers instinctively find the text icon and find Namjoon's last sent text. Sending him a quick text, you stop at the elevators and press the down button, waiting in silence until you hear the ding and the doors open. You enter the elevator, hitting the ground floor button and watch the doors close, the elevator jerking and descending towards your destination.

The familiar sound of a text rings from your phone as you exit the elevator. The text reads that your boyfriend is just outside the building's doors. You smile, clutching your phone as you skip towards the glass, double doors. The hot summer sun beams down on you, the ground blinding you and causing you to shield your eyes as you scan the parked cars along the sidewalk, looking for that familiar grey vehicle that Namjoon owns.

Four cars down the line, you see his car and him exiting the driver side. You beam as you make your way towards him, watching as he makes his way around his car to meet you. Smiling up at him, you reach up to place a kiss on his lips. He kisses you back, but it's not as loving as it normally is. You're guessing it's because he's nervous. He might propose to you!

"You ready?" you ask him, he looks off into the distance before nodding.

He does the usual, opening the passenger door open for you. You get into the seat, the door closing behind you when you're fully inside the car. You watch him stand in front of the car door for a second, his body straightening before making his way around to the driver's side. He must be really nervous.

The door opens, he climbs in, closing the door and starting the car. The cool air hits your skin as you watch him put the car in reverse, and puts it back into drive before taking off down the street. The two of you say nothing as the only sound filling the silence of the car is background music you do not bother to try and figure out. He doesn't hold your hand like he normally does. He doesn't even ask you the same questions he normally asks. It's like he completely ignores you, and you can't ignore the pain in your chest.

You love the fair. Every year when the fair comes, you're here and getting on every ride, eating everything that catches your eye. It's your favorite place, and the fact that it's across the street from the beach, it's the best place to be on a hot, summer day.

You're giddy with excitement as Namjoon hands the woman inside the ticket booth a bill. She places the bill in the cash register and grabs two bracelets. Namjoon is first to bring his hand towards her through the small window. She wraps the bracelet around his wrist and does the same for you when it's your turn. Once she's done, you and Namjoon go through the turnstile, angling your body to the side so that you fit through easily. The fair is full of excitement, people running by and others just walking with big smiles on their faces as they make their way towards a ride, a seating area, or wherever their heart calls to.

You look at your boyfriend, wondering if he's as ecstatic as you are, but when you get a good look at him, he's the same as he was in the car. He's far off, not into the date that just started. You tell yourself it's because he's nervous, but the what ifs are beginning to eat you up.

Shaking your head—shaking the thoughts away, you grab onto his arm, hoping to get his attention. Thankfully you do as he looks down at you. "What should we ride first?"

You can tell he's trying to act like his usual self as he smiles at you, but it doesn't reach his eyes as he answers, "How about your favorite ride first."

If he's trying, you should try. "Yeah!" You hold your hand out like you normally do, and instead of slapping his hand onto yours and interlocking his fingers with yours, he's hesitant before finally holding your hand.

The first blow of the day.

The two of you make your way towards the high swings. Your favorite ride because you can see everything. Even though the Ferris Wheel can do the same, the high swings can give you a view of the entire fair ground. Plus it's exciting and fun to be so high up. A short walk later, you're standing in the short line to the swings. The current riders are high above and some screaming from the rush of what you can describe as flying. You watch in joy as they spin around, eyes seeing everything you want to see. But you then turn to look at Namjoon. He's somewhere else.

He's somewhere you can't reach, and you don't like it. He's not lost in the idea of marrying you; he's not lost in the thoughts of being here with you. He's somewhere he's not allowing you to follow.

Where is he? Why won't he let you follow him?

"Hey," you begin, voice more annoyed than you intended, "what's wrong?"

He looks to you, the far gone expression no longer there. "What?"

"Something is wrong with you. What is it?"

He stares at you for a moment, a look you can't recognize slowly growing, but he shakes his head, shaking away the look. "Nothing. I'm just tired that's all," he explains, taking your hand and smiles. Again, it doesn't reach his eyes.

The pole holding the swings begins to slow, coming down and finally coming to a stop as the riders get off and walk towards the exit. The entrance gate opens, allowing a line of people to enter. Still holding your hand, Namjoon leads you past the gate and to an empty pair of seats next to each other. He takes his seat as you take yours, making sure you're buckled in as everyone else does, too. You sit in silence, not bothering to try and talk to Namjoon again or even listen to him as he says something.

He's hiding something and it's bothering you. If he hid things from you it would be whatever because usually it's a surprise or something he's stressed about. But today? Right now? He's different. He's not telling you something that isn't simple or easy to work on. This is something worse, but what is it? What is he hiding that he's so different?

The swing jerks a bit before your feet are no longer touching the ground, the pole lifting you higher and higher. It finally comes to a stop at the highest point, the view the same you see every year, but still beautiful as the waves crash onto the shore. The swings sway for a few seconds before it finally moves forward. It's a slow pace, some people talking to one another in joy as the speed picks up and the wind is blowing your hair back. You close your eyes, taking in deep breaths and letting the pondering thoughts leave. You want to spend the day having fun, not questioning everything. Opening your eyes you smile and enjoy the feeling of flying.

The ride ended, you two exiting the gate and taking on the ride next to it. The ride forms an almost circle with four seats to each side looking at one another. The ride spins you in a circle in a fast motion, occasionally stopping at the top and letting the riders hang upside down for a few seconds before falling back down. These rides scare you a bit, but they always leave you wanting more with all the rush it gives.

You're still holding Namjoon's hand, thumb brushing along his skin as you stare up at the upside down riders, some screaming in fear and others screaming in delight. And so, after a few more rounds, the ride comes to a stop and you're next in line. You're once again giddy with excitement as you take a seat next to your boyfriend and next to another girl who is with her partner. You buckle up, the person running the attraction making sure everyone is strapped in tight before going back to the panel and starting the ride.

After riding a few more rides, enjoying them as much as you can, the joy didn't stay long as you finally let out an agitated sigh. "What's wrong?" you ask, sounding more irritated than you did the first time.

"What?" he asks, as if he's been lost in his thoughts once again. When he sees the look on your face, he tries to brush off his distance like it's nothing. "Nothing is wrong."

"Don't lie to me, Joon. You've been acting like this for a few days now, but it's even worse today. Now are you going to tell me what's wrong or are we ending this date early?" You cross your arms over your chest, moving to the side so that people can continue walking with the flow of traffic.

He's quiet for a while, expression clearly torn between telling you what's bothering him and keeping things a secret. He finally let's out the biggest sigh of defeat as he looks at everywhere and at anything but you. "I want to break up."

The second blow of the day.

"What?"

"I..." he trails off, meeting your eyes for the briefest moment before looking away. "I can't do this anymore, Y/N. I can't do us anymore. Maybe—" You interrupt him.

You hold up your hand. "Whatever you want to tell me today, you can tell me tomorrow." You glare at him with hate you never thought you'd ever give him. "It's our anniversary. Four years, Namjoon. Out of all the days to want to tell me this, you decide now is a good time." He doesn't meet your eyes. He can't and that only angers you even more. "You can leave me high and dry after this stupid date."

"Y/N—" You walk off, not letting him come up with an excuse as to why he's not leaving you "high and dry".

You know he's following you. You know he will do what you want because he feels guilty. He doesn't want to break up because of something you did, or that he doesn't love you. He's hiding the real truth and it's never eaten you as much as it is right now knowing what it is. He doesn't have to tell you for you to know there's someone else.

You push all the feelings back, putting on your best "I'm in love" face you can muster as you slow your pace until you can see your amazing boyfriend from your peripheral. Placing your hand in his, you take in a deep breath and forget everything that left his mouth. Today you're going to pretend it's your fourth anniversary and feel excited at the thought that he could possibly be asking you to marry him on the beach as the waves lightly crash along your feet. The whole thing is perfect.

But it's not.

"What ride do you want to get on next?" you ask him, tone like it was minutes ago.

He's quiet for a while. You can feel his grip on your hand tighten before he answers, "Rush."

Your eyes scan the area before you until they find the sign in big red letters. Behind the sign is the only roller coaster at the fair. It isn't like the ones you see at a theme park, but it gives you a bit of a rush as it speeds its way across the tracks. You can't help but smile as you lightly drag him to the back of the line of the ride. No words are said as you keep your eyes on the people screaming as they ride the roller coaster. Two of them had their hands up and grinning as they cheered for the ride to go faster.

You sneak a glance at Namjoon, watching him as he has his attention focused on his phone. You watch him as he types away on his phone at a quick pace. You wonder who he's texting. The boys? This new lover he's with? You want to rip his phone away and read the message but decide against it. Right now he's just texting the boys, telling them he's nervous about proposing.

You tear your eyes away from him, wiping away the tears that spilled. Why did it have to be like this? Why you? Why?

The riders get off and make their way towards the exit as the next batch of riders make their way towards the roller coaster. They have their fun—the screams and cheers as the ride goes, and the next does the same. It takes five groups to ride before it's your turn, and by then you weren't your happy self like you were earlier today. He hasn't gotten off his phone the entire wait. It isn't until you hit his shoulder lightly that his phone is in his pocket and the two of you follow the line until you find an empty cart.

He says something but you don't catch it. You don't even notice him holding your hand, using the same gesture you did, rubbing his thumb across your skin. You hold on tightly to his hand knowing this is the last ride you'll ever get on with him. This date will be over in an hour or so because you can't take it anymore.

The ride goes, but you're not screaming with joy like the other riders, and Namjoon sees it.

You're walking through the main area where games are played. People are calling for you to try their game for only a few bucks, some even saying the first try is free. Namjoon's hand no longer feels like home—like he's the one you see your future with. He's the one who broke that future and let it burn as you try to save it.

Your eye catches the toss ball game, a stuffed white dog with black spots hanging at the front. The woman working the game is attempting to get attention from anyone. You can see her sigh, running her hand through her strawberry blonde hair in slight frustration. You stop walking and so does Namjoon. He looks to you in confusion.

Pointing to the game where the woman is working, you say, "Win me a prize while I get us some ice cream?" you ask, looking to meet his gaze as you watch his eyes follow your finger to the game.

"Y/N—"

"I'll be back." You release his hand and give him your best smile before turning your back to him and heading towards the small ice cream stand to get two cones. You walk to the outskirts of the gaming area and stand at the back of the small line to buy your favorite ice cream and Namjoon's favorite.

You've rode all the rides and did what every couple could do here, and the last thing to do is try and go home with a stuffed animal. You're not sure what you'll do with the stuffed animal if Namjoon actually wins it. You don't want anything of a cheater in your house, so you'll be packing all that is his and throwing it at his face.

The man takes your order, you pay, and wait off to the side for your number to be called.

Things are going to change after today. You'll have to tell everyone you and Namjoon are no longer together. You'll tell all your friends that the dream of being Mrs. Kim is no longer possible because Namjoon dumped you on your anniversary of going what you thought was four years strong. Your parents will be sad and mad because the Harvard student, the one who is going to have his own company no longer loves you and loves someone else.

You blink back the tears, cursing under your breath as you hear your number being called. Walking up to the pick-up counter, you take the ice creams, thank the worker and make your way back into the gaming area and towards Namjoon. Last time. This is the last time.

And so, for the last time, you put on the biggest smile you can muster and spot Namjoon tossing the last ball into the basket. The woman cheers and so does he. A genuine smile actually appears on your face as you get closer to them. It reminds you of the first time he won you a prize. He was so clumsy that it took him over six bills to finally win the smallest prize, but he never looked so proud to have won you something. You sleep with it on your bed every night.

He points to the black and white dog you were eyeing earlier, the woman using a dressing stick to grab the animal. She hands it to him, a big smile on her face as well as his as he looks down at it with glee before looking back up at her. You're within hearing range as he says, "Here, baby." He hands the stuffed animal to the strawberry blonde rather than to you.

You stop in your tracks, watching as the girl takes the dog. "Thank you, babe. This is my first gift you've ever won me at the fair," she says, looking up at him. "I'm so glad you came to see me."

He looks away bashfully, scratching his head. "Me too."

The ice creams are no longer in your hands, the sound of everything around you is gone and the two of them are blurry. His lover is the first to notice you, but it seems she doesn't know you're his current—soon to be ex girlfriend. The one he's cheating on. Namjoon notices you next and his eyes are wide. He's telling you something but you can't hear him. The only thing that you can register is that when he walks over to you, within range, your hand slaps across his face.

He touches his reddened cheek and looks at you in shock. "I never want to see you again."

"Y/N"

"Leave before I cause an even bigger scene," you seethe. It seems like the world wants you to cause a scene because his lover appears next to him, a hand on his arm and worry in her eyes.

"Are you okay?" she asks him before her eyes are on you. "What is wrong—" You don't give her a chance to finish her sentence before your fist collides with her nose. She screams in pain, holding her nose. Namjoon's attention is on her, checking to see if she's bleeding.

Sadly she's not.

"You want a bigger scene?" you ask when they both look to you. There's hurt in Namjoon's eyes, but he shouldn't feel what you feel. He's the one who started cheating on you. He's the one who stopped loving you who knows how long ago. "I never want to see you again." And with that, with one final apology, Namjoon walks past you and out of your life. You couldn't stop yourself from turning around and watching him leave.

How do you stop something from happening?

How do you stop the pain in your chest from hurting even more as you stand in the center of all the fair games, watching as he walks away, a girl trailing after him. Their fingers intertwining with one another.

Just like the ice cream on the floor by your feet, the cone pointing up as a result from the fall, your world crashes so suddenly.