Taehyung Au - Tumblr Posts

Masterlist

Entree 1 | What we are not ; Soulmates

summary: you love yoongi with all your heart throughout these five years being in a relationship with him. you always thought he is the one — your one, even when the infamous soulmate signs are still not showing. yet you always wait, because you know it’s him you are destined to be with, forever. but what would happen if then his childhood best friend comes along, with the universe-signed telltales that you have been looking for true love in all the wrong places?

{soulmate!au, established relationship!au}

pairing: min yoongi x female reader x kim taehyung

link : prologue | chapter 1 | chapter 2 | chapter 3 | epilogue

Entree 2 | (Not) Just Friends

summary : Befriending the fuckboy with devilishly handsome face and emotional capacity of a pea is not your choice, especially when you met him when you were in fifth grade, attracted for the unhealthy vermilion shaded face of the nerd he was that fateful day. So was Jungkook, as he is already putting strictly platonic label on your forehead and calls it a day. But it is only a matter of time before everything changes, and it only takes a frat party, lots of booze and… a certain Kim Seokjin.

{friends to lovers! au, fuckboy! au, fratboy! au}

pairing : jeon jungkook x reader (side kim seokjin)

link : coming soon | one shot | drabble 1 | drabble 2 | drabble 3

Entree 3 | The Platinum Rules

summary : Being a true fuckboy he truly is, Taehyung only has three rules when dealing with his one night stands. One, never ever wine and dine someone before sleeping with them. Two, never ever stay the night after one night stands. Three, is never, never ever meet a girl’s parents under any, any circumstance ever. These are his Platinum Rules, the one never break even once and it conveniently keeps him off the hook for anything. But what magic are you playing to have the fuckboy break all his rules for you in a span of only 24 hours?

{fake relationship! au, fuckboy! au, fratboy! au} 

pairing : kim taehyung x reader (spinoff of (Not) Just Friends)

link : part one | part two (finale) = Completed

Entree 4 | Love, Rekindled.

summary : even if you’d rather cut your tongue short than to admit it, love was easy when it was with Jungkook—no matter how short it had been. yet when the guy fortuitously joined your company four months ago, he has been an expert in pulling your strings that you’ve been fighting every will to punch in his annoyingly ravishing face. but can you further deny the old feelings to rekindle when a certain company event and a group of gullible friends are involved?

{enemies2lovers! au, ex!au, professional!au} warning : smut!

pairing : jeon jungkook x reader (side kim taehyung)

link : coming soon | one shot | epilogue = Completed

Entree 5 | When the sea sleeps

summary : marriage should be based on love, but it’s not really the case with you and Seokjin. what’s more beneficial than two person who sworn off romances to get married out of obligation, right? but you should have known better, that keeping your heart straight from wanting someone like Kim Seokjin is next to impossible.

{fake marriage! au, strangers to lovers! au}

pairing : kim seokjin x reader

genre : major tooth rotting fluff, crack, smut with lots of warning(?)

link : coming soon | one shot | 

Hope you enjoy! Don’t forget to slide into my ask box and let me know what you think! 🤩🥰💜💌

Hi all, posted the second chapter! Go check it out, and do let me know what you are thinking <3 see y’all sooon!

What we are not; Soulmates (chapter 2)

summary: you love yoongi with all your heart throughout these five years being in a relationship with him. you always thought he is the one — your one, even when the infamous soulmate signs are still not showing. yet you always wait, because you know it’s him you are destined to be with, forever. but what would happen if then his childhood best friend comes along, with the universe-signed telltales that you have been looking for true love in all the wrong places?

{soulmate!au, established relationship!au}

pairing: min yoongi x female reader x kim taehyung

chapters : prologue | chapter 1 | chapter 2 | chapter 3 | epilogue

word count : 10.412

===========

You drive back to Seoul from your parents residence in Ilsan at dawn, because your first class will be in the early morning. Mina and a few other teachers are out to do rehearsals for the upcoming recital for your grade 4 students, so you are in charge of teaching a few classes for the day. It’s quite exciting somehow, you already missed your students and your first classes would be with the pre-primary ballet students that you greatly adore. You love kids—you always have been on your own as the only children of the family, so to be able to interact and teach the wonderful kids would always certainly be the highlight of your days.

Keep reading

The Platinum Rules - Coming Soon!

teaser : Being a true fuckboy he truly is, Taehyung only has three rules when dealing with his one night stands. One, never ever wine and dine someone before sleeping with them. Two, never ever stay the night after one night stands. Last one, is never, never ever meet a girl’s relatives under any, any circumstance ever. These are his Platinum Rules, the one he never break even once and it conveniently keeps him off the hook for anything. But what magic are you playing to have the fuckboy break all his rules for you in a span of only 24 hours?

{fake relationship! au, fuckboy! au, fratboy!au}

pairing : kim taehyung x reader (spinoff of (Not) Just Friends)

genre : fluff, angst, implied smut lol i wish

word count : 24.556

release time : Saturday, May 16 16:00 (EST)

A.N = Read Jungkook’s one shot (Not) Just Friends here! 

The Platinum Rules

summary : Being a true fuckboy he truly is, Taehyung only has three rules when dealing with his one night stands. One, never ever wine and dine someone before sleeping with them. Two, never ever stay the night after one night stands. Last one, is never, never ever meet a girl’s parents under any, any circumstance ever. These are his Platinum Rule, the one never break even once and it conveniently keeps him off the hook for anything. But what magic are you playing to have the fuckboy break all his rules for you in a span of only 24 hours?

{fake relationship! au, fuckboy! au, fratboy! au}

pairing : kim taehyung x reader 

word counter : 24.556

A.N = Read (Not) Just Friends here! Please be mindful this is in Lia’s perspective in (Not) Just Friends!

================================

“You did not just… You know what? Fuck you, Jeon Jungkook!”

Jungkook snickers, looking at the panicked face of his best friend, Taehyung when he sees he is not the only one in the table. Taehyung should have guessed, though. Since when did Jungkook ever ask for a dinner together other than McDonald and its peers? He thought Jungkook was being nice, wine and dining him for somehow ignoring their best friendship ever since getting himself a new girlfriend. Not that he is unhappy for Jungkook and he’d rather chop off his finger than to admit this, but he misses partying night in and out with him—he is just that whipped for his new girlfriend and decides to take himself off that routinity.

“I only say she is cute once. Once! And I don’t see any reason why you, your girlfriend and Y/N should be having dinner in this fancy ass place! This is a lowkey double date, do you know that?” Taehyung hisses in agitation.

“It doesn’t have to be! No one saying this is a double date beside you.” Jungkook amusedly chuckles, raising both his palm in defeat. “We are just going to have a nice dinner together, bro. As friends.”

Taehyung throws him an annoyed look. “You really going to fucking act like I don’t know you?! You are setting me up with this girl, I knew it! Jungkook, I told you, I am not interested in dating! I know it’s good for you, but I am not chaining myself to that time bomb, thanks.”

“Yeah, yeah whatever. But we are taking too much time in the toilet for two men and people there gonna think we are fucking. Let’s go.” Jungkook mindlessly put an arm on Taehyung’s shoulder, walking back to the desk in which his girlfriend and you are chatting lively. Taehyung takes a deep breath, then launches an elbow kick square to Jungkook’s rib that throws him to coughing fit to get his arms off him.

“I swear when we are done, I’ll punch you in your fucking annoying handsome face.”

Jungkook launches a flirty wink along with a chuckle. “I don’t mind you hitting on me, but my girlfriend is just right here.”

“Hey, you guys. What is taking so long in there?” Jungkook’s girlfriend cheerfully asks and both of the men shake their heads with an awkward smile. God, Taehyung really wants to snap to his own head right now, how he wishes to be anywhere but here. There is actually a party in the female frat he is greatly acquainted with. Should have just gone there to relieve some tense instead.

“They’re probably fucking.” You instinctively murmur, unknowingly too loud and audible to anywhere in the radius of a meter while calmly sipping on the glass of red wine. Your best friend slash roommate gasps, slapping your shoulder—somehow embarrassed.

“Y/N!”

Taehyung glances at the girl pouting in front of him, somehow finding her ironic jokes entertaining. Well, even though he is greatly opposed to the idea of a double date, but hanging out with this girl is probably not the worst idea. Probably beats hanging out alone with Jungkook while he is playing fucking Overwatch. 

Well, it goes back to a month ago when Jungkook finally got his shit together and confessed—ugh, the mutual pining seriously sickens him. Even if Taehyung is glad for Jungkook, he is uncertain how he can even settle down after living his greatest life. Man, Jungkook was on the top of the world—good athletic career, good body, beautiful girls—but now that he is settling down, and it kinda makes him uncool in a way. Probably because now he has a girlfriend, he is not really active in all the jock and frat activities like he used to. Girls are already done chasing him, not with that love-sick puppy eyes he has whenever his girlfriend is near—or even far and even with only a month, Taehyung quite had enough. In conclusion, relationships sucks and it changes people, and Taehyung doesn’t want to let go of the great life he is having right now just for settling for one girl. Why only one when he can have more, right?

Then when both Jungkook and Taehyung were hanging out, one night in their shared room, he mistakenly mentioned that you were cute. And he did not lie—he still doesn’t—but it didn’t mean anything! He mentioned dogs are cute probably even a thousand times, but he doesn’t see Jungkook getting him a dog. What’s the difference with saying you were cute? Jungkook is a literal dumbass for even thinking Taehyung can settle for a relationship.

The night goes on, and Taehyung finds himself counting the awkward jokes that have been thrown by Jungkook and his girlfriend about this being a double date and what a great match he is with you. He is literally keeping a tab of everything—waiting for all to be finished so he can finally get the long-awaited revenge he has been counting seconds for. But not that he will say it with his own tongue, he does think that you are cool—as a person. If these pair of idiot gooses are not here, he somehow thinks both of you might actually hit it off—as a good friend, of course.

“God, this is such a great dinner, right?” Your roommate yells, looking mildly buzzed with alcohol. You side-eye her and sigh, resting your glass of wine back. One thing about your best friend is she favors red wine a little too much, and sipping on the beverage like there is no tomorrow. Jungkook holds her hand across the table, eyes filled with adoration. 

“Are you okay, pumpkin? You look drunk.” Jungkook coos with a warm smile, and she smiles back, a wide smile painted on her lips. Taehyung literally feels the urge to puke just listening to the affection lacing in his tone. God, love really changes Jungkook.

“You know what? I love you, Jungkookie!” She suddenly stands up, crashes into Jungkook’s arm, gives him a haste kiss on the lips, right before walking drunkenly outside. Her surprised boyfriend swiftly chases her away, before signaling Taehyung to pay for their dinner. Taehyung is baffled on the side. Jungkook that bastard seriously invited him for this horrendous dinner, yet still asking him to pay? Fucker! But as he notices your eyes prodding his way, he quickly puts on a composed face, giving you a thin smile.

“I think that concludes this very, very confusing but yet pleasant dinner.” Taehyung smiles, while asking for the bill. “I am sorry if you are forced into this dinner. This new couple think they got the right to play immortal on us, right?” He cynically jokes and laughs at it, but your face is too straight to respond so his chuckle is slowing to a complete stop.

“I’m actually the one asking for this double date.” You whisper, an unexplainable emotion rushing on your tone. “I’m the one saying I want her to set us up so we can be together. I like you. I want to be with you, Taehyung. Forever. You—you want this too, right?”

The fear on Taehyung’s chest is instantly risen, seeing the crazy, psychopathic look in your eyes. Well he really thought you are not the type to stick up only after a dinner—but he cannot deny his instinct does disappoint him way too much than he could even be proud of. The instant urge to leave the spot and escape is too much with his feet are already out the table until you break it with a loud, hearty chuckle. “God! Messing with fuckboys is soooo fun! I can’t believe you fall for that!” 

Taehyung scrunch his eyebrow, detecting the unexpected jubilant look on your face. He is  bewildered.

Seeing that Taehyung still is not getting your very, very obvious joke, you sigh. Dumbass fuckboy. His cocky ass big head does not surprise you even a little. “God, I was kidding! Sorry to break it to you—it may be too hard to understand, but not every girl will be willing to take turns sucking your dick, dude. Sorry, life be like that.” You sarcastically note, setting your napkin on the table and Taehyung feels somehow relaxed and offended at the same time. Weird emotions, really. 

“I don’t even know why I am here.” You continue, displaying a friendly smile now, reaching out for your glass of wine. “Should have known. I fell for this fake dinner thing too many times now, gonna reject every dinner invitation from now on.”

Taehyung grins, finally able to breathe easily. Well, he deals with way too many obsessive and stuck up one night stands now that it even terrifies him to be around them, so that’s that. You are too cool to be like one of them, he just knew it.

“Gotta make an exception for me, though.” Taehyung cheekily musters, suddenly surging a confidence on his own skin. You are already dominating the conversation too long now, he just had to take over. “How else can I get to know you better, huh?”

Being a true fuckboy he really is, Taehyung only has three rules when dealing with one night stands. One, never ever wine and dine someone before sleeping with them, as dinner is a very, very intimate thing that involves a lot of real talks—instead of dirty talks in which he is way, way better on. Two, never ever stay the night after one night stands, as sunshine is just a sign that he has spent more than necessary time with her and can only result in any bothersome attachment after. Last one, and probably the rule that has no exception whatsoever, is never, never ever meet a girl’s relatives under any, any circumstance ever. The three rules are all based on his experience learning it the hard way, and ever since, he never broke even a rule and it greatly keeps him off the hook for anything. 

But albeit important, he will let himself break his first rule for you. Only because you are hot—and probably is included in the one percent population of girls who doesn’t need to be reminded that he is not looking for anything but a short fun. A lot of girls tend to forget that easily, getting to attached to what a gentleman he is before and during sex, and always become such a bother after. But he’ll trust this one that you’re not that kind of girl. Even with a bruise on his pride, since he is slightly doubtful if you’ll even agree to his proposal for hooking up tonight. At least, teasing you is already a great enough entertainment for him.

“Boy, I don’t want to know who that can actually work with, but I’m not that difficult to get to bed with.” You chuckle at his pathetic attempt to work his way inside your skirt. Taehyung raises his eyebrow, not believing his own hearing. You are glancing down now—probably to the phone on your lap and your face instantly contorts, and a sigh of tiredness escapes your lips. “I’m way too tired now anyway, better just go back home, fuck and get it over with.”

“W-what? You seriously want to fuck, willingly with me just like that?”

You give his shoulder a pity pat, a thin smirk on your lips. “God, Taehyung, do you actually need to work that hard to get laid all these time?”

“B-but, you just said every girl—”

“I changed my mind.” You sigh, getting tired of the constant queries, along with the message you just received. Jackasses, seriously. “Taehyung, I’m tired. Let's go pay and head back to my apartment. I think the cringy couple will not be there, but fuck them, let them hear us fucking so loud they need to follow as well.”

Taehyung cannot even believe the crude answer coming out from such beautiful, innocent lips, yet the intense anticipation of what’s about to come his way is too unbearable he could not wait even a second to get you under him and win his dominance back. At the cashier, Taehyung quickly slaps a card on the table with his foot swiftly tapping on the floor in impatience. You can’t help but to find that strangely adorable, yet disgusting at the same time. You are seriously hooking up with the worst fuckboy in your university. Never thought you'd stoop this low, but that’s life, right? Let’s see if he can put his money where his mouth is.

Seeing that Taehyung does not show any sign of asking your part of the bill, you are quick to remind him. “Taehyung, I will pay you back, okay? I’ll transfer it.”

“What? There’s no need for that, honey.” Taehyung whispers smoothly, putting in his pin with a wink. “It’s just a small thing I can do for a beautiful lady such as you.’

You snort at his cringy remark, greatly bothered by his every word. “Taehyung, seriously, stop. Any effort you have to do just to get laid will make everything worse.” Taehyung smiles to himself, somehow expecting the snarky remarks even before he threw the stupid comment. You are surely one of a kind. “And I’ll pay you back. This is not a date, and I’m not a prostitute, you don’t have to pay for me.”

The unexpected aggression and anger coming from you quite blow him off his edge, as you thomp furiously to exit the restaurant. Are you seriously saying that you are bothered by him willing to pay for dinner? Taehyung is all down for feminism, but he was literally just being nice—and beside, Jungkook is literally going to stab him with a fork if he ever lets you pay, so that’s that. 

But one realization comes to his mind—he is not going to deal with you long enough to think about your weird trait again. Tonight, all he needs to do is suck everything—and he means, everything. And when he leaves before midnight, then all will be just fine.

*

It’s weird.

Taehyung slowly flutters open his eyes, oddly feeling ten times better than he has been recently after waking up. He doesn’t even know why—probably the wonderful scent of vanilla and citrus that is vivid on his smell. But wait—what the fuck? That’s probably the one of the furthest things he will ever wake up to! He should be waking up annoyed by strong scent of sweat and cheap male perfume, not this.

Fuck, fuck! That ceiling—the light blue ceiling with countless translucent fake stars, that’s not his ceiling either. He was supposed to be looking at a cringy, old poster of Metallica on his dorm room ceiling. And this excessively comfortable, dark blue fur blanket hugging his waist, that’s most absolutely not his. And god, who the damn is he holding right now?!

“What the fuck! Why are you still here?!”

Well that is literally the words he had on his mind just a second ago, yet surprisingly it is not him who is yelling. It is a girl he had a nice dinner with yesterday—with red wine and everything. The girl who was too prideful to let him pay, and the girl who strangely manages to throw him off his game with their continuous three rounds of dirty, dirty sex and God, he swears he never cum harder before in his life—and it says a lot because he does lots of sex. Like a lot. Yup, it’s you.

God, he shouldn’t be here, he should just head home right after sex. He broke his second rule, right after breaking his first one last night, even worsewith the same girl—you. What the fuck is wrong with himself?!

“You said you would leave after a ten minutes nap!” You hiss, clearly disliking the fact that you have to wake up seeing his annoyingly handsome face—with bed hair mussed deliciously and all. Is it weird that you are feeling terribly ugly right now with him still looking like a handsome sex god on your bed? And still feeling his arm around your wait, you groan in disgust. “And why the fuck are you holding me?! Seriously, you are the worst one night stand ever.”

Taehyung quickly detaches himself off you like you are a disease, yet no offense taken since you are glad he is finally a distance away. “I was fucking tired after fucking three rounds yesterday, I think I fell asleep longer than I thought.” You roll your eyes since all you hear is bullshit. “And for your information, I always sleep hugging my bolster. And since you are fucking weird and do not have a bolster, I guess I just settle for less.” He reasons, but you respond with a snort.

“And the worst one night stand ever—are you kidding me? Funny I don’t recall you saying that last night when I generously let you cum in my tongue.” Taehyung continues with a smug, and you can’t help but to feel heated at the memory of last night, Taehyung finally used his mouth for a better cause for once—since you despise it when he is talking. Yet there is no use denying that Taehyung is indeed a master with his tongue, but of course you’d rather cut your arm rather than admitting it to his cocky ass face.

“Pssh—like you weren’t begging to have a taste.” You sinisterly defend yourself and Taehyung chuckles, vaguely shrugging as an answer. You involuntarily stare at his smiling face, and you have to admit he does look his best with it.  God, are you seriously thinking such domestic thoughts with this fuckboy right now? The alcohol must still have an effect on you.

“Why are you staring at me? Finally realize that you should have just jumped on my bone again instead of doing this strange, pillow talk?” Taehyung impishly grins so you land a strong punch on his bare chest with all your might. He lets out a definite cough, definitely not expecting the strength coming out from such a small frame like yours. “Damn woman, what exactly are you?!”

“A girl that can definitely kick your naked ass out of her apartment if you don’t leave in five.” You solemnly warn. Taehyung let out a light laugh, shuffling out of your blanket with no shame whatsoever with his straight out of womb nakedness to grab his clothes. And you cannot bear to notice how apparent his morning wood is—and it brings pleasant yet unnecessary memories of last night to your mind. You seriously need to get a hold of yourself cause if not, you might have to play with yourself after and you don’t really want to get off with the thought of him for the fourth time now. “For the love of God, Taehyung! Put some clothes on!”

Taehyung is unimpressed, pointing at his clothes like it’s the most obvious thing. “What are you—yes, I’m doing it right now, you idiot. And I’m using your bathroom first, I don’t want to look like a fucking idiot, walking around the campus with a morning hard on.” He pouts, but then a smirk formed on his lips. “Or you want to lend a hand with this?”

You shut him with a pillow thrown to his annoying, smug face. “The fuck no. And what, no you can’t!” You answer in panic, pointing to your door. “We only have a shared bathroom here. Let me check if my roommate is out.”

Taehyung sighs. “Y/N, you literally told me last night to fuck as loud as we can and let them hear so they can follow.” Listening to him quoting you from last night, you internally wince. You literally don’t have any trace of ever saying that in your vague memory. God, you must had been drunker than you thought.

“That’s just the drunk and horny talking.” You hiss, trying to steal a peek through the door. There is no sign of your roommate, so everything should be good to go. Or at least you think so. “The cocky ass new couple will be all over our asses, Tae. They will think something is up, try setting us up like yesterday. Ugh, no thanks. You have to leave without anyone knowing.”

“Hate to say you are kinda correct in that one, buddy.” Taehyung sighs. He literally said he was going to punch Jungkook for arranging the dinner, yet now he was the one taking advantage of it. He would not let Jungkook win on that one—he still desperately needs that one punch chance or that fuckers will never let it slip ever, even until the day he is well rested and buried. “Okay, is she out now? Jungkook is not there, right?”

Like a cue of bad luck, your roommate and Jungkook walk out of her room, hand in hand with each other right to sit on the sofa. Jungkook kisses the tip of her head, caressing the side of her face while scrolling through netflix on the tv. “I can’t believe we are watching Taken for the hundred times already just so you can fulfill your Liam Neeson odd kink.” Jungkook impassively huffs.

“God, Liam Neeson kink? Your roommate is fucking weird.” Taehyung lowly whispers, all of a sudden already squatting beside you. You jump a few steps back due to the shock of seeing his face up close, clutching your chest dramatically.

“Damn, can you stop shocking me?!”

Taehyung greasily winks. “Baby, I don’t think anything should shock you after seeing my dick in all its glory.”

You fold your chest, slightly amused but majorly annoyed by his unending arrogance. “Ugh, don’t baby me. And well, I am still shocked probably because I don’t think your dick is outstanding whatsoever.”

Taehyung ignores your stubborn, obviously a lie remark, and continues peeking from the door crack. “God, a film. Probably take them one or two hours. But I think Jungkook has practice in… one and a half hours, so maybe I can go by then.”

Your frown turns deeper, dreading the imagination of spending another hour with him, locked in your 3x5 meters room. Are you even capable of holding yourself from strangling off his cocky, annoying head? This could probably be the greatest challenge you will ever have to face. 

“What should we do for an hour and a half….” Taehyung whispers to himself, sends you a suggestive look while wiggling his eyebrows. You quickly send him your middle finger as an answer, already rejecting whatever idea he has since you are well aware there is no possibility you will like it.

“I am not suggesting to fuck, sorry if you were expecting that.” Taehyung lopsidedly smirks, and you fold your arm in agitation. God, you wish everything can be over so you can go to your parents home and call it a week. And it’s saying a lot since you never look forward to going back home every weekend. “I won’t refuse, but I just want to play now. Do you play animal crossing?”

“Seriously?! You play too?!” You are surprised to say the least, voice unforeseen raising in delight. You really do not expect a fuckboy like Taehyung would play a game like animal crossing—you thought he would hold on to that toxic masculinity and play whatever popular ‘boy’ games right now. It is strangely a nice surprise. “Can I visit your island? Let’s trade too! I have bamboo shoot lamp, log dining table—”

Taehyung chuckles, seeing how passionate you are, scrambling to get your nintendo from your night desk and turning it on while blabbering non stop about your items. He strangely finds it endearing, how drastic you can be when you are not trying to kick him out with a torch and pitchfork and it only takes a freaking animal crossing game. You are tremendously unpredictable, and he finds himself liking the refreshing change of pace. He walks back to your bed, sitting beside you while you animatedly chatter about your island.

Is it too wistful to wish that the current strange yet greatly amusing thing going for the both of you does not have to end now?

*

After being firsthand kicked out from your apartment when Jungkook went to his practice, Taehyung walks to the basement to get to his car in a strange mood. It’s Saturday, yet he doesn’t know what to do or where to go. There is another frat party that will be held tonight, yet he finds himself less than excited to go. He loves parties, but he is not delusional to think that he will love it forever—he is already in a phase of finding parties are monotonous and boring most times. Yet going home is not really a convenient option since there is no use—it’s empty anyway. Frankly, he doesn’t even know what home to him really is. Is it his dorm? Is it the party? Yet they probably give him a better definition of home rather than his own real house.

So Taehyung decides to drive his car back to his apartment on the other side of the town, far from his parents house. The upside of being a child of divorce is probably being shoved money to his mouth like it's the only thing that matters—yet he doesn’t mind. Or maybe he does, but there is no use in complaining, right? He is 21 now, he is over that complaining, depressed phase of his life. Maybe take a couple of depressants tonight, cry a little to sleep and he should be fine. Or maybe he’ll schedule a session with his psychiatrist—he has been missing lots of sessions and it may or may not has taken a toll on him already.

After arriving his car inside the apartment building, Taehyung sighes on his seat, a great exhaustion painted on his face—and he literally is. Just a few hours ago he was able to momentarily forget every issue in his life, but after he is alone, the anguish of loneliness hits him like a ton of brick. He is alone. He is nobody. Nobody likes him, even his own parents. He is just an emotionless shithead who is not right in the head. Who is he to think that he is worthy? Nothing in his life he achieves with his own hands, and life is just a constant train of problems and disappointment. It will never go the other way, since happiness is not for him.

Taehyung rests his head on the wheels, shutting his eyes tight to handle the tears coercing to rain out. No! He doesn’t want to cry now! Even then the ugly tears won’t stop coming out, and he tries to find purchase by hitting his head on the wheel. He enjoys the pain. The pain he is feeling right now—it never felt so right before.

Right until someone knocks on his window, simultaneously stopping his current emotional breakdown. He looks up—probably looking like an ugly, crying mess, expecting the security with an disapproving look on his face for the nth time. But instead he finds someone that instantly melts his whole being—somehow successfully distracting him from the intrusive thoughts he was having.

“Taehyung, are you okay? Hey come out, you have been there for awhile now.”

Taehyung quickly sweeps his tears with his sleeve, fixing the hairs on his forehead to conceal the bruise that might be formed from hitting it multiple times to the wheel and look down. God, this is embarrassing! He never thought he would meet her again in this situation—it seems like life is playing games on him and he despises it for her to always find him in such a ridiculous situation.

“Mina, hi.” Taehyung stutters nervously, somehow avoiding his neighbor prodding eyes that always sends him to nervous bundles. “I—I don’t know you’re home.”

“What are you saying, I’m always home.” Mina chuckles, pointing at the paper bag filled with groceries. “Just came back from grocery shopping. I am cooking pasta today. You wanna join?”

Taehyung looks at her sincere eyes, silently thankful that she is not going to mention his previous breakdown—not that she ever does. Whenever she witnesses his breakdown; crying in his car, hearing screams when he feels suffocated, things being thrown away, and even that one time he brought his one night stands back to his apartment and the girl runs out crying due to his unpleasant way of shooing her away; Mina never judges. She would come knocking at his door, asking him to join her watching the TV, or eating the less than edible food she cooks herself. It’s always a great time with her, and Taehyung could not lie that he feels greatly comfortable with her presence.

“I would love to. Kinda unsure if I won’t get a digestion issue after eating it, though—but i’ll take my chances.” Taehyung smirk cheekily. The girl scowls, shoves him away with her free hand, and strides inside the apartment lobby without waiting for him. Taehyung warmly smiles, quickly walks to her side to walk to their neighboring apartment. “Here, let me take that for you.” Taehyung instinctively grabs the load off her arm. Mina smiles, pressing the lift button to their apartment level.

“It’s been such a long time since your last visit, Tae.” She is staring intently on the man beside her. It was too much for Taehyung, causing his heart pounding faster than normal. He bit his lips, looking anywhere else but her.

“I missed you.” She whispers.

That is it. The word he longs and needed to hear the most—ironically not only from her, but from everyone. And now Mina is saying it to her, Taehyung feels like he is about to cry from the overwhelming emotion. Oh, how he wishes he could say the reason behind his absence. But no, he has to be strong, at least this once. So he forces a thin smile, and tries to change the topic to anything else.

After five minutes full of small talks and keeping up with each other’s lives, Taehyung and Mina finally arrive in front of her apartment door. She shuffles on her purse. “Wait, I’m grabbing my keys.”

“No shit sherlock.”

Right when she swings open the door, someone is already waiting inside, waiting on the couch while watching Pororo. “Mama!” She squeals in delight, running to Mina’s grasp with her two ponytails waving through the air, then clutching onto her for dear life. “And Taehyung oppa is here too!” She shouts in delight, changing her target now to Taehyung for a hug. Mina instinctively retrieves the paper bag from him so he scoops the little girl and holds her close. 

“Oppa, I miss you so much! I haven’t seen you since forever!” The five years old pouts, lightly hitting his chest with her cute, little fist. Taehyung quickly gives her a kiss on the cheek—oh, how he adores the little girl in his arms now. 

“Sorry, oppa is busy. But it’s okay since he is here now!” He smiles, trying to lighten up her mood. She is the whole reason that Taehyung is here in the first place—the little gremlin he loves so much, probably even more than himself. She is Yuna, Mina’s daughter.

Mina is two years older than Taehyung, and she was married three years ago to a man with a daughter. The man is away most of the time for his job offshore, and is back every three to six months. When Taehyung bought the apartment they were already living there—the first neighbor that welcomes him warmly regardless of how unwelcoming he was, as he hated socializing with new people. But they never exchange anything beside a short, civil smile until one day.

Everything changed on the day Taehyung was about to head for class, he found an unannounced guest standing by his door—a four-years-old Yuna, unknowingly went out while her stepmother was sleeping. Yuna was lost, crying out loud because she couldn't get back inside. Taehyung was well aware of the identity of the toddler, so he instantly knocked on his neighbor's door while holding Yuna’s petite hand on his side. 

After finding the fact that her daughter was put in danger by her own carelessness, Mina cried, feeling totally remorseful for forgetting to lock the door. She mentioned she was so exhausted, finishing all night for her upcoming book and having to clean Yuna and the house after. Later that night she invited Taehyung for a thank you dinner, which did not really go well since she couldn’t cook for shit—but still insisting to. Yet even with an upset stomach, Taehyung never felt as comfortable as when he was having dinner with her. At that time, he was severely lonely and needed a friend. That’s how it began—he would always knock on her door, and she always welcomed him with open arms. He got addicted to hanging around Mina and her beautiful daughter.

Yet it was a very foolish thing to even let himself believe hanging around nearly every single day around a married woman is harmless—because he was and still is an idiot and somehow, against all odds and his own cynical thoughts, he caught feelings. Bad. But how could he not? Mina was probably the kindest, the most beautiful soul he has ever met. She always knows the right thing to say at the right time, and being around her always makes him feel hundred times better. She sees the real him, instead of the dumb, rich and messed up fuckboy everyone sees him nearly everywhere. Like seeing her and talking to her—he could finally breathe after holding it for the longest time. 

But it was not long until every illusion Taehyung had fell through. Mina’s husband came back home from his three months offshore work and that's exactly when he faced a cold truth that nothing was ever going to work out anymore. Mina is married to a very kind man as well, and Taehyung would never go against his sanity and ruin it—especially when he knew who would be the most affected by it. It’s Yuna, the most wonderful child who has frankly gone through a lot after her birth mother passed away a few years back from cancer. Taehyung is a child of divorce for god sake, he knew how painful it was for the child like the back of his hand. He would rather die than to be the one doing it to her. That’s the sole reason he has been avoiding Mina and Yuna at all cost. All because he wants to protect the two girls he adores so much.

“Oppa, I am still waiting to play the toy with you! Come play with me!” Yuna cries, promptly running inside her room to grab a few of her new toys. Taehyung easily complies, walking to the living room and detecting a bunch of very Yuna-typical toys—zombies. She always loved playing plants vs zombies on her device, so he bought her zombie and plants toys on her birthday two months ago, but never got to play them before with her. Yet when the large toy on her little grasp is close, Taehyung detects that it is still securely sealed.

“Yuna, you never played this before? Don’t you like it?” Taehyung is saddened at the fact that the girl never played with the toy he gave. But Yuna fervently shakes her head, comfortably sits on Taehyung’s lap like old times and leans on his chest. 

“I like it! But I want to play it with oppa first!” Yuna smiles widely, showing her missing front teeth and Taehyung is unable to hold his smile. The girl is literally the cutest girl ever to exist and he is willingly smitten into her cute charms. Taehyung pecks her cheek in fondness before helping her in opening the box of toys.

After a great forty minutes passed, Yuna is already exhausted, sleeping on Taehyung’s chest since she spends too much of her energy screaming, laughing while playing with her plants vs zombie toys and figurines. He leans on the sofa, caressing the top of the five year old head sleeping on his arms, gazing at her serene sleeping face. She looked very content and happy, and seeing her like this is therapeutic for him. 

“Taehyung, let me get her to her room. Let’s eat, the pasta is ready.” Mina whispers, and he nods, letting the woman take her child to her bedroom. Taehyung coughs, a strange feeling suddenly runs through his mind at how domestic all of these feels. God, he told himself a million times that this should not happen—he was trying his best to evade getting too attached with them to the point that he next to never comes back to his own apartment anymore—yet one accidental visit and he is now back at one. This is ridiculous!

Finding no other solution than trying to survive another thirty minutes without making a fool, or even derangedly hurting himself in the process, Taehyung takes a seat on the dining table with a decent looking pasta served on it. The hurried steps of Mina are heard and Taehyung quickly clears his throat. This is it, Taehyung. Just one lunch, and that’s all. You can finally go back to your apartment. 

“Let’s eat! I actually tried cooking this exact recipe before, and I know it tastes good. I’ve been practicing, you know.” Mina grimaces, remembering the time Taehyung vomited when her so-called scallops were badly cooked and his stomach was greatly upset, causing Taehyung to skip his classes for a full week. Seeing how nervous she is unknowingly brings a smile on his lips. “At least you won’t throw up this time, trust me.”

“I kinda doubt it, but let’s go.” Taehyung teases, while Mina scoops a portion to his plate. He nods gratefully, with the nerves gradually increasing. This annoying voice on his head keeps repeating the thing he is most afraid of, but he pushes it away and musters a thin smile. No. He’ll finish the lunch, run back to his apartment, and never come back for another four months. That’s better.

One habit whenever Taehyung is nervous is he always runs a finger through his hair. The said habit being done is pushing away the strands of hair on his forehead, exposing a palpable bruise which faintly bleeds due to the great force of knocking his forehead on the wheel during his latest breakdown in the car. Seeing how concerning the injury has looked with a smear of blood is evident on his forehead, Mina jumps on her seat in worry. “God—Tae! Your forehead, it bleeds!”

Yup, it is. Taehyung coherently snorts when touching the forehead with his palm, seeing a hint of blood on it. He is instantly aware of the pain. What a fucking idiot he is—god, when will he stop making a fool of himself?

“Wait, I’ll grab some meds, okay?”

Mina walks to one of the cabins, then returns with a box of first-aid kits to his side. She takes a seat beside him, pointing it so she can comfortably access the bleeding bruise on Taehyung’s forehead. One thing that she might be clueless about is how nervous Taehyung is, heart rate abnormally fast just by seeing her face in such close proximity—so close he can even spot the little mole on the side of her nose bridge—while the familiar, refreshing scent of lilac is radiating off her. She is tending his bruise carefully, her left fingers secured on his left jaw to keep him in place, and Taehyung's head literally spins. How can someone be this beautiful?

At one point, everything is too much to handle for Taehyung. He likes Mina, this beautiful, married woman that somehow gets him better than everyone, but he can never be with her. He could not let himself fall even deeper and do something he will most absolutely regret after. “Mina, stop. It’s—it’s enough.” He breathes lowly, abruptly losing his ability to speak, especially when her lips are just a breath away for him to touch. But he knows they were overstepping the boundary and desperately needs to stop. It’s not right.

Then at once, the confusion on Mina’s face turns into remorse and the next thing both of them know that their lips are touching, both eyes closed with Mina’s hands secured on each side of his shoulders. He is now kissing Mina.

Taehyung cannot lie that he did imagine about kissing her before. Yet at that time, the only thing he feels is disgust, ten times worse than he already feels for himself. Not even a second felt right—a flash of his broken family went through his mind. He just stopped to another level of low; he is kissing a married woman.

“Mina, stop! We cannot do this.” Taehyung gruffly pushes her away, quickly standing up with a heavy urge to vomit coming out from his stomach. It’s disgusting, he is disgusting. Not that he is miserable with himself, he just became a cause of someone else’s misery. He is really the bad guy in every story.

“I-i’m sorry. I’m sorry, Taehyung. I-i know it was wrong, I don’t know what has gotten into me—”

Taehyung is irritated beyond words, his face reddening while he furiously scrubs the remnants of the kiss on his lips with no holding back whatsoever. He is disgusted with himself, and frankly he is disgusted with Mina. He never should have come here. There’s literally nothing good will ever come out on meeting the married woman he somehow liked—and a realization is dawned on him. He just sinned Yuna. The innocent, five-years-old girl that deserves happiness more than anyone else in this whole world. It feels like he already hit rock bottom, like he just wanted to throw himself off a cliff.

“It is wrong!” Taehyung aggressively hisses, quickly walking to the living room to grab his belongings, yet finding the toys he just played with Yuna results in him feeling uncomfortably nauseous. This is the worst thing that could ever happen to him.“This, this never happened. It’s better for us to not see each other again.” He runs to the door with great fury, before a whimper of his name is heard. Mina is calling him.

Yet he is unable to walk away without seeing her one last time. Hearing her voice calling his name. Listening to what she is about to say.

“Taehyung, I’m sorry.”

*

After running away from the encounter with Mina, he called his super that he is selling the apartment right away. He has to close everything—every little chance of seeing Mina, and sadly even Yuna. Taehyung desperately needs some space, and so does her. It’s better not to see each other again. 

Hence, now he has nowhere to go. Going back to his dorm is not an option—he is currently at the lowest point of his life and seeing anyone from college is never a convenient option. So that night, Taehyung decides to spend the night in his car, parked on the side of Han River. It’s a place for him whenever he is sad. A place that always reminds him that he is still too scared to die. A place to remind him that somehow, he still yearns his life to go the other way. A better one.

And at one point, after bawling his eyes out, he is desperate to feel the wind slapping his face and knock some sense into him. He exits the car, taking his time to walk to the side of the river, hands secured inside his pocket. He closes his eyes, taking in the cold wind and feels it rushing through his face. The cold was definitely a tid bit much—probably to the point he couldn’t feel his face, but he somehow prefers it. 

But he is most absolutely unable to stand another minute clenching at the rail of the river, so he walks to the nearest bench, placed under a tree. It is more convenient—the wind is hundred times kinder and he can finally feel his face. And all of a sudden, his phone rings. He half-heartedly steals a glance, finding an unknown number. He easily rejects the call, before it rings once again. And again, and again until he annoyedly picks up just to shout his agitation to whoever is on the other side of the call.

“Is this—is this Taehyung?”

The familiar yet so strange voice welcomes him, and the anger on the tip of his tongue dissolves. But he is still uncertain of his hypotheses on the identity of the caller on the other side. “Yes. Who is this?”

“Hi, sorry, this is Y/N. I know we just met and I am not even your acquaintance or anything, but can I ask for your help this time? I swear I owe you one after, but please just help me with this one.” 

It’s Y/N. It’s seriously you on the other side, yet Taehyung could not believe his ears. Is his hearing deceiving him right now? You made it clear that seeing him again could be the second worst thing to happen to her—after a meteor suddenly falls and crashes on your favorite Mexican restaurant—but now you are calling him, not even a day after your last meeting? There must be something serious, and a bizarre worry immediately fills his head. “Y/N, what is it? What happened? Tell me.”

“I-I’m afraid I can’t tell you. But this is urgent, can you help me with this one? I promise I’ll pay the favor back, I swear.” 

Taehyung discards the light insulted feeling on how you mention you’ll pay him back like your life depends on it, and instead focuses on the urgency in your tone. You seem greatly rushed, worried and almost scared, and never would he ever imagine of saying no to that. “Of course, Y/N. What is it, I’ll try helping the best I can.”

“Can I ask where are you right now? I need to go somewhere really urgent, can you take me there?”

Taehyung looks warily around him. There’s only an old lady with her dogs just walking past him. He is quite far from the crowd. “I am in Han River now. Where are you? I can pick you up from there.”

“No need, I’m actually quite near. Can you send me your location?”

And that’s how Taehyung spends another 10 minutes, trying to make out your face amongst the people walking around him. While focusing on the people passing around, suddenly a cold hand slaps his shoulder and sends Taehyung on his toes, startled beyond words. “Fuck, Y/N! You can’t startle me like that!”

“I’m sorry, Taehyung.” You apologetically wince, holding the black duffle bag close to your chest. “I won’t startle you again. That if we ever meet again, which I don’t really hope to. Can we go now?”

Taehyung rolls his eyes at your warm words. “Just a thing everyone expects from the person who is just asking for help, right?”

You smile widely until your eyes turn into mooncreases, and Taehyung feels his throat stricken dry. “Let’s go, Taehyung. I’ll tell you the direction.”

And that’s how you are for the second time seated in Taehyung’s black Audi, with him smoothly driving it in accordance to your directions. You bite your lips in nerve, occasionally stealing a glance at Taehyung who is busy driving, looking around the streets with hesitation. Of course he would be, the direction you are giving must be unfamiliar for nearly everyone sane. “Hey. Can I ask you something?”

You don’t want Taehyung to question where you are heading right now—as he will instantly dump your ass on the street with no second question asked. “Yes?” You whisper faintly, crossing your fingers that it would be anything but that question.

“Can I turn on the music? Are you okay with that?”

The tense on your body crashes down with an exhale. “Of course. It’s your car, Taehyung, you can do anything with it.”

Taehyung snorts. “I am just being nice. I seriously think you might be a grinch for any kind of fun, the type to love creepy, dead silence while driving.”

“You are seriously a child.” You shake your head in disbelief, and Taehyung's lean forefinger taps the music button, connecting to his phone. “And god, you seriously got no other car, Taehyung? A less flashy one, I guess?”

Taehyung smiles proudly, patting the wheel with affection evident in his eyes. “No. Cecil is my baby, and I would never trade her for anything else.”

You groan at the foreign name. “Who the fuck is Cecil? God, don’t tell me you’re that creep who names dead stuff.”

“Hey! You don’t know how long and what kind of things Cecil has gone through with me.” Taehyung literally yells. He is one peculiar pea, but you are in no place to judge anyway. You are literally a nobody. “And you can’t tell me that, Cecil is the one who is helping your ass to wherever we are going right now.”

You decide not to prolong the abnormal debate you had with Taehyung, so you turn silent and point to the direction of your destination. When the car is heading to dark, narrower streets, Taehyung realizes they are already too far outside downtown, in a place where he knows he would never visit in any possible scenarios in his life ever. 

“Y/N, I know I am not supposed to ask anything, but this is getting creepy and I just need to know why the fuck are we in this creepy, suspicious place?” Taehyung hisses, noticing that everything is too dreadful to be true. He doesn’t even know this place to ever exist in Seoul—that’s if they are still in town. “Where are you taking me?! God, don’t tell me you are going to murder me, take Cecil with you and sell her away?! Please don’t do it, especially the last one!”

You sigh at his nonsense, frankly tired and majorly nervous since your destination is already near. You glance at the message displayed on your phone. He is already waiting. “God, Taehyung. We are just five minutes away, just drop me off anywhere and you can run off after.”

“What? No! What about you? How are you going home this late, and from this creepy ass place?!” Taehyung stares at you, and you can find a genuine worry in his eyes for your well being. God, you are speaking nonsense, since there is no way Taehyung can even have feelings for you other than lust, and that’s just fact.

“It’s okay, someone will take me home.” You doubtfully answer, wanting Taehyung to swallow your lies even if you are not so sure yourself. Somehow you doubt the man you are meeting now will have the heart to take you home after this. You can just grab a taxi or bus—if they are still available—after anyway, it should not be an issue, right? But even self pep talk does not change a thing, you are still scared beyond words. This neighborhood indeed terrifies you, especially at night. 

The car is now settled in front of the dark building that you identify as your destination. “Are you sure, Y/N?” Taehyung mindfully asks one more time with hesitation fills his gaze. At the persistence, you are slightly touched. “I don’t know what you are doing or who you are meeting there, I won’t ask. But I swear, I don’t mind waiting for you.”

You have a hard time believing—when was the last time someone cares for your safety like this? Life has been just a constant repetition of pushing anyone away from nearly half of the things going on with you, and to have someone you clearly is just using and still greatly show his concern is so strange. Maybe it’s time to admit that Taehyung is not just the heartless fuckboy you expect him to be. He may be more than that.

But no, you don’t need to involve him further inside the mess you are in, and he won’t be near long enough to stay so no need to get in such depth with him. And only god knows what would happen to an elegant, once in a lifetime seen black expensive Audi parked in this neighborhood. “Taehyung, no. I’ll get home safe, I swear.”

Taehyung does not want to push his agenda, even if he is still unable to turn off the alarms at the back of his head. “Sure, if that’s what you want. At the very least please let me know when you arrive, or if anything happens, okay?”

You nod, not really sure what to reply to his untypical concern. But then the annoying Taehyung is back as he mutters the next reply. “Or don’t. I just realized I left my charge somewhere and my battery is dying, probably not gonna see them till the next two days.”

“You are fucking annoying.” You spit with a sarcastic smile and Taehyung chuckles lightly, lightening up the mood. “See you, Tae. And thank you for taking me, I owe you one.”

You walk inside, finding Taehyung’s Audi is still parked there. Seeing how he vaguely gets caught inside your mess, and you feel apologetic. You huff, braving youself to knock on the door, then find a man that has been blowing up your message for a while now. He holds you close, taking you inside the house with odd affection. “Baby, who is that with a black, expensive car? Is that your new boyfriend?” 

You look at him, trying to keep your composure straight. You really do not want this despicable man in front of you to get any strange idea whatsoever about Taehyung. “He is not.” You adamantly hiss, pretending nonchalance. “He is here because you, somehow cannot pick me the fuck up. There is no uber or taxi that wants to get me here at this time of the night, and I swear to god you better get me home.”

That man pulls you closer, his lips closing on your side jaw and his arms circling your waist. All of a sudden, your resolve crumbles at his familiar touches. “I miss you, baby. And don’t worry about going home, you can stay the night here.”

His lips are swiftly grazing your sweet spot, right at your collarbone and you instinctively let out a moan of pleasure when he sucks on it like there is no tomorrow—to the point it will surely leave evident hickeys. God, he really knows you like the back of his hand and you have no idea whatsoever to do about it. Three years together is very evident now—he can read you effortlessly. 

“Stop it.. You know I’m staying at my parent’s tonight, I have to go home.” You let out a hushed whisper, a moan escapes your lips when his hands slowly stray from your shoulder, down to your waist and to the area that leaves you breathless. God, you are out of your mind for him.

“Fuck them. You know I really miss you, baby… I seriously need to be inside you right now. Don’t you miss me? Stay tonight.”

At his discourteous words at the mention of your parents, any illusion and lust at wanting to have in any way he wants dissolve into thin air. He is still the same old, disrespectful man that will never give a shit about you, especially your parents. But what exactly was the expectation you have for him? You are foolish to even think he will magically has understanding and common sense, since he is a monster.

But you are the one responsible for creating this monster…

The familiar guilt instantly fills your chest all at once, and it vividly constricts in pain. You push the black bag to his chest in a rush. “Here’s what you asked. I just did the best I can—don’t call me again. I have to go home.”

As you run to exit the building, you half-expect him to hold you back, apologize, or do anything that somehow might stop you from leaving into the unwelcoming, shady neighborhood, at nearly midnight, but nothing. The frustration that suffocates your chest is too much, and it is extremely hard to breathe. Your head spins with countless voices running inside your head, screaming incoherent words that somehow sends you into a great panic.

And you take a deep breath. Then the second. Then the third, trying to empty your mind from any intrusive thoughts that are doing you no good whatsoever. Right until you can finally close everything off, trying to pick your phone and get an uber—if it’s even possible. The reason you needed to get Taehyung help in the first place is that no uber or taxi would like to even come close to this place, and there’s thin to none chance you’ll ever get one. 

And you are correct, since it’s already five minutes in and there is no sign of your request ever finding a ride home tonight. You are in deep frustration for there is no hope whatsoever in getting back home. Your parents are away, but your grandma is home—you left your responsibility of taking care of her to meet that man. Your parents are going to kill you if they ever find out you are escaping home, especially to meet the man they hate the most in this whole world—the man who is greatly a bad influence on you, the man who made you hospitalized for months, the man who they recognize as your ex. 

But even with how far he is from ideal, he is still the same man who fought for you. The man who taught you love and sacrificed himself for you in no way anyone would. You don’t want to let him go—you are aware that he has strayed far, but he’ll come back soon. You held onto that for a long time, even with the faith you have on him is slightly dwindling. It’s been nearly three years since that accident, and you found that he is still the same, obnoxious man he was and even worse, yet you cannot let him go. Your conscience would never let you.

Feeling the remorse that is starting to overwhelm your senses, you notice there is literally waste in vain to think about that. You have to think for the present, how the fuck can you do to get home? Your parents might be home any time now, and they will never let the matter go until you are forced to confess that you are indeed, meeting your ex—the one person they loathe the most.

So you decide to run for your life to the nearest stop to take a bus or any available transportation, away from the shady neighborhood. You start with a fast stride, but you hear a sound of an engine booming behind you, slowly creeping on your side of the street. The red alarm on your head is loudly screaming. Someone is following you, and at once the worst memories of your life hits you like a truck. 

You abruptly fasten your pace, keep on running. But due to the nerves, your leg is close to giving up. You are exhausted beyond words, and the intrusive breakdown inside your head is not helping either. Just in five minutes you have no strength left and fall down on the pavements, your body trembling, tears crashing loudly as you hide your body inside your arms.

You never should have come to this place. You never should have come back to him. That time he loved you and cared so much about you was years ago, and he changed. He will no longer be there to rescue you. He doesn’t even give any shit about your safety. When will you ever be strong and stop whatever nonsense you are having for him?

“Hey, hey what happened, Y/N? Why are you crying?!” 

You are still bawling your eyes out like there is no tomorrow, your whole body trembling hard with both your legs secured on your chest. Someone is touching your arms, but you are too frightened by the imagination inside your head so you can do anything but to hold your legs even closer. “Please.. Please don’t hurt me..”

“Y/N, what are you—This is Taehyung. I have been calling you since you walked out, but you are not responding. Y/N, you are shaking so hard.. God, you’re scaring me. Please say something.”

After listening to the words that send you to a haze for having a hard time believing whatever it is, that man holds you close, his strong arms around your shoulder, his wide palm caressing your upper back slowly. “Take a breath, Y/N. You are panicking, but it’s okay. Take a deep breath. Everything is okay. I am here.”

At the constant calming ministration from Taehyung, along with his warm hug around your trembling, drenched with cold sweat body, you find the tense on your body is progressively decreasing to the point you can finally think and speak clearly without any more tears falling on the side of your cheek. You look up, finding Taehyung’s worried gaze seeking into yours.

“Why are you here, Tae? I thought you went back.”

Noticing how much you already get better from the panic attack, Taehyung can finally let go the breath he has been holding for quite a long time now. “I was about to, but—hey, I’ll tell you everything in the car. For now let’s go, you have been sitting on a pavement, who knows what germs you can catch from there.” Taehyung whispers with a vivid disgust on his tone. At that, you can finally smile. Albeit thin, Taehyung feels like he has achieved something remarkable. He quickly holds you up, arms secured around your waist to help you walk inside his car.

Taehyung opens the door for you, yet you are still hesitating to enter. “Get in, Y/N. I’ll take you home.”

“But.. your seat. What if my germs polluted your seat?” You are innocently concerned, and Taehyung can’t help but to chuckle. He did not expect such polite questions coming from you who just had a literal breakdown, yet he finds it endearing.

“It’s okay, Y/N. I’ll be taking Cecil to car service tomorrow as well, so it’s no issue. Get in.” 

Dubiously you step your left foot inside, before you gasp in surprise that shocks Taehyung as well. “I have a scarf! Let me sit on that.”

Taehyung follows your vigor on going through the small bag hanging on your shoulder with his eyes. “Not really necessary, but whatever. I’d prefer your shirt though. Can you sit on it instead?”

You snort. “Pervert.” He responds with a smirk, skipping to the driver side.

After a good ten minute driving in silence, you open your voice, your fingers nervously fondling on the button of your purse. “Thank you for waiting. You are such a lifesaver, I-I seriously don’t know what I will do if you are not there.”

Taehyung nods, his right hand brushing through the expanse of his jaw and you intensely follow the swear-to-god attractive gesture. God, you cannot believe how someone can be that charming while driving, it’s seriously making no sense. You continue after clearing your throat. “What happened? Why didn’t you leave?”

He glances at you with tranquility, shrugging his shoulder. “I was about to leave, but I don’t know. The song I was listening to was good so I just decided to stay for a while, and then you walk out so I follow you. The end.”

Your eyes narrowed, staring at him intently. “That is a lie.”

“Maybe.”

“Then tell me what happened!”

He shrugs. “Nah.”

You look at him in obvious exasperation. “Taehyung, for god sake tell me what happened! What can possibly make you stay in this hellish neighborhood?”

Taehyung grins. “I don’t ask what happened with the hickey on your collarbone either, sweetheart. And It’s nothing, seriously. Nothing out of the ordinary.”

Your fingers instinctively land on your clavicle, feeling the strange pain emerging when so. Shamefully ducks your head in embarrassment, you throw your face to your side of the window. “You're annoying.”

“I’ve been called that a lot. By you, actually.”

“Then maybe you should stop being annoying.” You sarcastically grin.

He jokingly wriggles his sharp eyebrows. “That’s kind of my trademark, so I’m sorry I cannot fulfill the request, sweetheart.” You huff and decided not to continue the endless debate.

Another ten minutes filled with silence, until you break it with your still irritated tone. “Can we play my song now? The song you played before sucks.”

Taehyung murmurs an agreement, a thin smile finding his lips. You connect your phone, then finding the one song you always tune into. The song that reminds you of the good times when life is less than complicated.

“Is this Bee Gees?” Taehyung asks with an amused tone, nothing ever crosses his mind that you would be the type to tune to oldies songs for drive songs. 

“Yup. This is More Than a Woman.” You nod, then send a judgmental stare at him. “What? You think I am lame for listening to old songs? Yeah, no surprise there.”

He smiles heartily, finding this new side of you that is unforeseen yet very delightful. “No, I actually like this song too. My father used to sing this song when I was a kid. The whole album, actually. I even have the vinyl cd in my room.”

Seeing that Taehyung is indeed earnest, opening up a little about his life, you find yourself smiling at your own great memory as well. “Me too. My grandfather used to sing this song to my grandmother, uhm.. before he passed away.. a few years ago. I would always listen to this song and then I would always be reminded about how much love they have for me.” 

You don’t even know why you are explaining such an intimate story of your life to a fuckboy whom you barely know. But now, it’s hard to even think Taehyung is the jackass everyone and even himself proclaimed. He is just a man—a friend, who helps you when you need him the most, who doesn’t pry and understand the space you need better than anyone else. You are grateful he is there, and to say these personal things to him.

Taehyung smiles at you and you can’t help but to reciprocate. His fingers tapping rhythmically on the wheel along to the beat, humming along with you to the wonderful music inside his car.

Here in your arms I found my paradise

My only chance for happiness

And if I lose you now I think I would die

Oh say you'll always be my baby, we can make it shine

We can take forever, just a minute at a time

*

“I don’t know where my keys are!”

Yup, you are a certified, sloppy idiot. You have been standing on your house gate for exactly fifteen minutes, trying to find where the fuck did you place your keys. You are trying to search your short lived memory where you placed them, but the only thing you remember before going to Han River to meet Taehyung is how rushed and panicked you are, trying to find excuses for your grandmother.

And Taehyung stood besides you, helping you to hold the flashlight so you can make anything inside your ransacked purse. “I can’t find it!” You hiss worriedly, glancing at your watch. “I don’t think my parents are home yet, and my grandmother should be asleep by now. I will just sneak in.”

“This is dangerous! Someone might catch you and think we are thieves, Y/N, I don’t think it's a good idea, especially at this time.” Taehyung advises, his tone full of worry. You look to him scornfully, accepting that he is indeed right. There are cctvs being installed on every corner of the street, and you don’t think it would be pretty to be caught and perceived as a thief while climbing your own house. Your parents will figure out either way, and to be told by your neighborhood security that their daughter is climbing inside with a ‘help’ of a man would be the last thing you want to happen.

“I do not know what I have to do.” You mutter, hiding your face inside your palms, cursing your forgetful self internally. Now you have to wait for your parents, confessing that you indeed get out at nearly midnight. And they will chastise you to know where you have been, immediately accusing you for meeting your ex—which in fact is indeed the truth. You are screwed.

“Hey, we can wait for your parents then. We’ll think of a way, no worry, Y/N.” Taehyung said carefully, noticing your forlorn gesture with hands resting on your shoulder. You look at him with a frown and reddened face.

“It’s okay if you have to leave. You have been a great help, Taehyung. I seriously do not know what would happen if it weren’t for you.” You mutter in regret, then he answers by sternly shaking his head, clicking his tongue.

“Hey, I might be a dick but I am certainly not to that extent to leave a girl on the street nearing dawn.”

“I can protect myself, if that’s what you are worried about.”

Taehyung chuckles, keeping his hands inside his pocket. “I am well aware that you can kick my ass to ditch, Y/N. But my conscience just won’t let me.”

Before you can persuade him again to go back home, the familiar creaking sound of your front door is heard and you throw your head back inside, detecting your grandmother, peering outside to the sound of her granddaughter.

“Grandma! You are not asleep?!” You nearly yell, but then realize that it is already so late for any loud noises and manage to lower your volume. “It’s past midnight, you should be asleep! I told you to sleep first and not wait for me.”

“Huh, this girl! How can I sleep when I know you are still wandering out there, at this late of night.” Your grandma hisses, walking with her cane to the gate. “Why didn't you come in? Where are your keys?”

The frown on your lips deepen. “I lost them, grandma…”

Your grandma hiss in distaste, before realizing that his granddaughter is not alone. While opening the gate, her tone changes as she questions the man beside you “Who is this? Is this your friend?”

You just remembered that Taehyung is still present, now both his hands politely joined and a civil, yet timid smile on his lips. You look back at your grandma, strongly warning you with her intimidating gaze to introduce him right away. “Y-yes! Grandma, This is Taehyung. Tae, this is my grandma.”

“Good evening, grandma. I’m sorry we arrived so late tonight, I can assure you it will not happen again.” Taehyung apologizes with heavy sincerity and a bow. You are mildly confused by his never-seen-before politeness, especially to your family. Of course it will not happen again, Taehyung would easily walk out of your life after the constant problem you put him in. But still, it brings such a strange emotion to your heart on how good-mannered he is to your grandmother—and you kind of have a slight hint of why.

“Kids these days, seriously.” Your grandma shakes her head, but still motions both of you to enter the house. “Come in, then. You two.”

“Taehyung can’t stay, grandma! He has to go back, it’s been a long night.” You try to reason in panic, but your grandmother’s slap on your shoulder to enter the house quickly resonates that she is not open for negotiation. There is no other way than to follow her order, so you begrudgingly leave the scene, with an apologetic smile on your face to Taehyung’s way. You seriously owe him nearly everything—you swear you will do anything to repay him.

“You really have to go back, Taehyung? I want to talk to you, though. I promise it won’t take long.” Your grandmother intimidatingly offers, and Taehyung gulps in overwhelming nerves. It is probably the first time for a while since he met someone’s close relative—he even hardly met his own—and your grandma is too intimidating; he doesn’t even remember the word no. 

“Let’s talk, then.” Your grandma smiles, waving off the cold persona right after taking in his acceptance. She rests her hand on Taehyung's arm to lead him inside the house. “Have you eaten? We have some extra food. I also made Darjeeling tea, it’s good for you young people. I know you will like it.” Taehyung smiles with a nod, his head slightly spins and an aloof thought invades his head, all regarding his precious platinum rule. 

Never ever meet a girl’s relatives under any, any circumstance ever.

God, this is not good.

*

It’s already past 1am, and an hour after you safely arrived inside your house. Upstairs, you wanted to help Taehyung dealing with your pesky grandmother, but she refused you to come down and mentioned that she wanted to talk to him only. You know what that means—another drama coming your way. You seriously cannot stress how much you owe Taehyung, he has been nothing but kind and helpful today. You wanted to eavesdrop on their conversation, but your body is too tired to even deal with even more drama. You just need to set your grandmother straight that Taehyung is just a friend, right in the morning. Your parents don’t have to know as well, and everything can go as well as before.

But even with your nearly numb body, your consciousness is wide awake and you cannot sleep. So after a short while and hearing the soft engine of Taehyung’s car far in the distance, you dial his number. Hopefully it still has power—you remember Taehyung mentioned how near dead it was. 

Right after two beeps he thankfully picks up. “Hi, Taehyung. You went home already?”

“Yup.” He emphasizes on the p.

You wince at his distant answer. “Are you mad at me? I apologize, I am nothing but a hassle today, you must regret helping me.”

Then his lighthearted chuckle is heard, and the tense on your body instinctively loosen up. “It’s okay. Not gonna lie, today is quite overwhelming. But I think in a weird, twisted way I needed that. A distraction, I mean.”

“Well, at least you are entertained by my lackluster life.” You joke, and both of you cackle. You cannot fathom your feeling right now, hearing his breathy voice on the other side of the call. You know you have been through a lot today, but somehow finally closing it with Taehyung, you feel somewhat relieved. “Did grandma say anything weird?”

“No, we just drank her god-sent Darjeeling tea. I seriously think I need to order it myself. Gonna search for it online after this. Ah, she also said I am handsome.”

You smile heartily, flipping to the other side of your bed. What a lie. “I sure can vouch for that. You are indeed handsome.”

Taehyung loudly gasps, cheeks tingling upon your unpredictable sincere compliment. “What—did you injure your head or what? Are you finally admitting that, Y/N? Never thought I’d hear it from you.”

You catch yourself slipping, slapping your mouth. “Yup, I think I injured my head. But no worry, pretty boys like you are dime a dozen. I’ll find you anywhere.” You nervously snort, internally disagreeing to your own words. There is something about Taehyung’s charming ways that always keep you on the edge, and you have never found it in anyone else.

“That’s more like you.” He hums. “Go to sleep, Y/N. It’s been a long night, you deserve it.”

You hum lowly while closing your eyes, feeling the sudden sleepiness embraces you. “Okay. Thank you so much for today, Taehyung. I owe you one, okay? See you soon.”

Taehyung finally closes the call, a thin smile reaching his lips. Seriously, he doesn’t know how he can go through everything in the span of 24 hours, the thing with Mina, meeting you and breaking all his platinum rules for a girl he thought he wouldn’t see a second time. A statement from your grandmother suddenly passes through his head and Taehyung shifts uncomfortably in his seat.

She is a strong girl, but she is fragile right now, and in need for someone to believe in.

Someone to believe in? That's most absolutely not him. Frankly, he is the absolute far on the other side from someone to believe in. He doesn’t even believe in himself, how could your grandmother say that to him? Does he seriously look like someone to believe?

But when Taehyung rewinds what your grandmother explained, along with the panic attack you had just a few hours ago—he finds it peculiarly identical to himself. In a way, both of you are scarred. Life takes a huge toll on you, and he can understand what you were feeling. Living with a deep scar itself is scary, but now that he knows that he is not alone—there is someone, deeply affected about something alike, he doesn’t feel so alone anymore. All these times he always feels like he needs someone, that he is a burden to someone, but it feels reassuring to be the one lending a hand for someone else’s misery. 

Among the silence and his busy thoughts, the phone rings. Taehyung is quick to answer and the call resonates on his car. “Yes. I need car service. Some idiot bastards just scratched Cecil, it’s pretty bad. They scratched it with knives I think—i don’t really know. You can pick her up on my usual. Thanks.”

*

It has been a week since you last saw Taehyung that eventful night, and even with how desperate you are to text him again, you find yourself hesitating while typing the words. What if he thought you are looking deeper into everything? You are just a mere girl he fucked before, and it is as clear as a day that Taehyung dislikes and avoids any form of attachment—and even though you are not even offering anything other than trying to pay all his kindness back, you are still unsure.

Since that night, one thing that you know is your grandmother loves Taehyung—she can’t stop talking about him and asking where he is ever since that night. Both of your parents are aware as well, they are a bit hysterical at first at the unannounced appearance of a boy close to you—you know how wary they are ever since your last boyfriend, but after hearing how great he is from your grandmother slash the best personality judge to ever exist, your parents easily approve. Could also be to the fact that they are quite amazed by such a young man using a luxury Audi car—yes, your parents are primitives like that.

But another thing you notice is how over-jubilant they are at the sudden appearance of Taehyung, more than you expect. You know how much they have been stressing over the fact that you might still be in contact with your ex—which you still are, but they are better off not knowing—but you didn’t know it would go to that extent. They can finally joke about you finally being in ‘young’ love, which is also total nonsense. 

The worst thing is that your mother even called you and cried one night, telling that she is relieved that you finally can find someone else instead of coming back to your previous toxic relationship with your ex—oh, how can you let her know? At that time, you feel guilty beyond words. There is literally nothing going on between you and Taehyung—you even doubt if you can label whatever going on between you as friendship, it all could be just a charity work on his part, but you don’t have the heart to say so to her. Hence you just nod, promising that you would try asking him the dinner your mother asked for.

And now it’s all more confusing since you don’t know how to approach the matter. There is no way in hell Taehyung would ever agree meeting your parents—and the case itself is helpless. But your parents are very happy now, and to have it knocked away for a lie would greatly affect them in a bad way. Especially starting today, you moved out from your shared apartment back to your parents home. You love your independence, but you desperately need the money, especially since the extra side job of writing columns pays now needs to be shared with your parents as well due to your father's condition that enforces him to do his routine dialysis. The insurance helps, but it still costs massive on the pocket so you are more than willing to help them.

So you are seated now, waiting for your class to start. Your fingers tapping on the keyboard to draft a message that will be sent to Taehyung. It has been twenty agonizing minutes, and by every word typed and erased, you feel jittery. To the point you are finally too tired and give up, slamming your phone on the table and running your fingers through your hair in distress.

The sudden ring of your phone comes into your senses, and you are expecting nothing but then seeing the message, it effectively fastens the pound in your chest and you literally think you will cry. It's literally godsend, actually—how can he come through at the time you need him the most is beyond you.

From : Taehyung

Hi, just wanna ask if that ‘thank you so much for today, Taehyung. I owe you one, okay? See you soon’ thing is true or just bogus since i did not get any message since last week

You smile wholeheartedly, right from ear to ear at his witty message. So you swiftly type in another response, which may or may not contain a bit of a lie but Taehyung is better off not knowing how much you think of him in the past week.

To : Taehyung

Hi, sorry the bitch you are contacting is busy with packing her things to move back home. Can she meet you later this afternoon for lunch?

You don’t even have to wait for another long minute as his reply came almost immediately.

From : Taehyung 

Sure! But she better be paying cause Taehyung is sloppy and forgot to bring his wallet! 😉

You chuckle lightly, typing the cafe name located near college, following another message.

To : Taehyung

Such slop. But no worries, she would gladly pay! Since she should finish the class quite early, she's going to wait for you in the near park, so find her there, okay?

From : Taehyung

Don’t know until when we are going to address ourselves in third perspective but I am all for it. See you soon, beautiful! xx

You roll your eyes at his flirty text. Fuckboys and their annoying suave talks, yet inside, you are unable to hold your lips from smiling—to the point that your ex-roommate had to question how suspiciously vibrant you are today, especially during the worst class to date. You respond with a shake on your head, still with the same foolish smile plastered on your lips that is too eerie to be true for her.

Right after it’s finished, you run to exit the class—more because you need to avoid the question from your best friend on where you are heading, since you are meeting her boyfriend’s best friend you said you hated. It also seems like Taehyung is also inconvenient to let Jungkook know about your rendezvous, so you decide to keep this for yourselves first.

The weather on your way to the cafe is amazing, the afternoon breeze is lukewarm, the sun is adequately shining, conveniently settling on the skin. When you arrive, you take a seat on the nearest bench, heaving a deep breath and close your eyes. You clearly feel happy, contributed due to the weight from thinking about Taehyung and your parents slightly lifted off your shoulder. At least now you are on a talking basis with him. That’s a progress.

But as it always has been, something just had to ruin your temporary happiness. He is there, seated right beside you. Noticing the weight press on the other side of the bench, you look up, and finding your past lover, Jisung.

“Jisung!” You gasp in shock, your heart nearly falls out of your chest. He is here, in your college, right beside you. “What are you doing here?!”

He smiles, his fingers raised to your ear, settling a few stranded hairs behind your ears. The affectionate gesture suddenly throws you off your horse, as the sudden confusion does bring unwanted memories of your past with him. “I just wanted to see you baby. How you are doing, right now. I see you went home safely that midnight, quite shocking I would say.”

At his unpleasant words, you swat his hands away, facing him with a cold, hardened stare. “You are a jerk, you know that? You let me go home all by myself, in your own dangerous neighborhood when I went there to give you what you need. You are seriously the worst.” Muttering your sentence, you feel a tidal wave of anger and sadness crushes you in. 

“Hey, I don’t mean it like that, babe. You also get to go home with your hotshot fling as well, so you can thank me, right?” He sarcastically responds, and you feel repulsed at his words mentioning Taehyung—who in high chance must have brushed his annoying male ego. Jisung scoots to your side, his arms holding you close. But you felt nothing but disgust.

“Don’t be like that, baby. You know I miss you. No matter how far you are searching for someone better, or richer, I will be the only one who understands you and your body, babe.”

You are silent, neither accepting or rejecting his advances. You feel numb, you feel used, yet you don’t do anything to push him away. It’s like whenever he is near, you feel the urge to fix him. He was the victim—and so were you. Yet he was the one that was and still is greatly affected by the wrongdoings of other people. So you still believe that the good Jisung you love is there, somewhere inside this man you barely even know.

Jisung was your boyfriend, two years ago in high school. He was a humble, smart scholarship boy that loved to play soccer. You were just a simple girl who loved to write about everything on your blog, especially lenient towards politics and policy. One simple day after a busy semester—due to your social science project team that always sends you on heated debate with him, Jisung somehow confessed. He told you he always liked you, the way your eyes crinkle while writing, the way you scoff during debate, and especially the way you smile for everyone but him—it was a surprising yet sweet confession, but against all odds you accepted it since you did adore him, even with the debates and nonsensical statements coming out of his mouth. That’s how you started a blooming, new relationship with him.

Six month passed, and you could proudly say that you were indeed in love with him. He was sweet, albeit dumb sometimes, he is the kindest person to ever exist and you loved it for him. Everything was great, but as most things, it all finally went downhill—when a transfer student is registered at your class. His father was the right hand of the president at that time. Few weeks in, you realize that he put too much attention on you. You tried to ignore it, but the contact was getting intense so you set him straight that you did not like him and you had a boyfriend. But being a golden spoon kid since he was born, he never learned rejection. 

One Friday evening, when you had just finished your assignment in the library and were about to meet your boyfriend to head home together, that transfer kid pulled you away and kidnapped you to the back of the school. He was angry at your rejection, and forced you to do the things you never wanted to do with anyone, and you loudly screamed for help. The enormous school was nearing empty due to the weekend, and no one could hear you. You were nearly losing hope, too weak to do anything but cry, then your boyfriend found you. He was going to check up on you since you already took a long time, but seeing the unbelievable scene, he instantly sent a hard punch to the bastard, right on the face. But not even a punch or two suffice, Jisung punched him to pulp until he passed out, with you shivering and crying loudly on the side. 

Then a few days later, everyone finds out about the issue, and somehow the media caught it as well, the president’s right hand son is hospitalized due to a school fight. But one thing that did not sit right was that everything in the story is twisted to transfer kids' benefit. He was hospitalized, so the school and media immediately sided on him, telling that he was injured by a rebellious kid in school and disregarding the real cause of the matter. You tried hard to explain to your headmaster, everyone that might believe you, but there was no evidence and you were the girlfriend—you were trusted not to be objective. So Jisung was expelled from school, and his scholarship was taken away from him. His strict parents did not believe him even a bit and kicked him out of the house. Jisung’s life hit rock bottom. 

You were heartbroken and guilty beyond words. Jisung had his life crumbling down in a moment, all because of you, because he helped you and defended your honor. You owed him everything, and you knew how hard it was for him. Jisung refused to see you, and when you tried talking to him about it, he harshly broke up with you, crying and shouting while implicitly blaming you for how his life turned out. You also cried that evening, and you begged him not to and promised you would do everything in your power to help him.

But no matter how hard you begged him to stay, he still went missing for a few months and you cried nearly everyday. It was killing you, to the point you didn’t even want to go to school anymore. You hated everyone—you hated how unfair life was for him, someone you loved so much. And frankly, you missed Jisung, you miss your ex-boyfriend and would do anything to have him back. There’s never a day you forget sending him a message, apologizing and begging him to come back. 

And he did come back to see you, exactly four months after. But at that time, he already changed. He was no longer the sweet, affectionate Jisung you loved and remembered—he was someone else. He joined and lived with a rebellious gang downtown. As predicted, he did not continue his studies, and god knows what conniving things he was doing to get money on a daily basis. When he came back and professed his love for you, you were hesitant. He was no longer your Jisung, but the complete opposite. But the next day he called you, crying about how life was becoming too hard and wanted to take his own life. That was also the time you’d do anything for him to stop, and agreed to get back with him. And thus began the most horrifying part of your life, one you never even want to remember.

“Baby, don’t you miss me?” He whispers to your ear, noticing your distant stare and silence. But you pushed him away, realizing how improper that you are still in the university area. “I missed you so much. No one can ever suffice your beautiful body against mine, babe.”

“Stop it, Jisung. I am not your sex slave, the one you can do anything against my will.” You hiss, pushing him away with a hardened stare filled with hatred and disgust. “I gave you the money you want. What do you want more from me?”

“I need more, of course.” He grinned, running his fingers on your lips. “Money is hard nowadays, babe. I notice that you got yourself a new, rich fling now. Get some of that hard cash and give it to me, will you?”

You stand up, peering against  in disgust, but you were saddened beyond words—tears pooling on the side of your eyes. “You are the worst human being. I am not giving you anything more, especially when you are going to spend it on gambling and sluts.” 

He pulled you back down, nails stabbing your skin until you are sure it will bleed. Your heart pounds too loud until it echoes in your ear. “Listen here, you bitch. Do you know who caused me like this? It’s you. You ruined my life, and you have to take responsibility for it.”

He lets go of your hand and leaves you trembling and your breath irregular. Dizziness suddenly enters your head, and you never feel alone to that extent you want to puke to the exhausting feeling. You hold your legs closer to your chest, hiding your face inside to shout all the frustration bubbling up in your chest, as loud as you can.

“Y/N, why are you— What did he do?!”

It’s Taehyung, you are well aware it is him. A sudden recognition of the promised lunch you have with him passed through your head and you take a few deep breaths and try to shove the matter far away from your mind. You look up to him with a forced smile, wiping away your tears with the back of your sleeve. “Taehyung, how long have you been here? Sorry, I didn’t—”

“I was here before you even came. I was on the other side of the park, and noticed you were talking to some guy. I did not want to interrupt and left for a while, and I came and you are already crying. What the fuck happened, Y/N?” Taehyung asks in deep frustration on his eyes, his palm cupping your face to look up to him. “Who was he? Was he—the one you were meeting a week ago?”

You are not answering, still looking faraway to nothingness and Taehyung hiss in agitation. “Y/N, I am no longer taking this lightly. This—this is bad. Please, tell me about this.” When you are still silent, Taehyung looks at you somberly, pleading for you to look back at him. “Y/N. I am your friend. Please, please let me help you.”

And then you break down into loud sobs, finding purchase in his arms around you. You never felt so sad before—all the bad memories from your past coming back to you, throwing you back into a state of panic. But as Taehyung soothes your back in a calming manner, listening to your incoherent words, you can gradually breathe. “I am sorry. I am such a mess.” You whisper to him, and let go of the hug. “I don’t think I can tell you without you being disgusted at who I really am. I am not the girl you thought I was, Tae. I am way worse.”

Taehyung looks up at you with a serene smile, wiping the tears away from your cheek. “Y/N, I am telling this because I know you will not prematurely judge, but I kissed a married woman last week. There’s no way you can top that.”

Your eyes are wide in shock at that, and Taehyung smiles at your reaction. Regardless of being scared that you will assume anything without him getting to explain, he is just glad he can be truthful to someone, especially when it is you. “I don’t know if you would really listen to my boring story. But it has been bothering my mind for quite sometimes now. Can I drop that on you?”

You nod and smile at his effort trying to take your minds off things and feel better. Not that you dislike it—it does succeed. “Of course. But not if we have to sit here, starving. Do you want to get in?”

He smiles, squeezing your shoulder and lead you inside the cafe. “If you are paying, then yes. If not, let’s go back to my frat and ask that shithead Jungkook to pay instead.”

*

After approximately four hours talking about each other and dirty looks thrown by the waitress at your prolonged stay inside, you moved places from the cafe to Han River, the exact spot you met him before—Taehyung said this was a place for him whenever he is sad and needs some time to think. Did you understand him better. He was a child of divorce, he is living with his father in Seoul and his mother is remarried and staying in London. The last time he met his father was six months ago.  At that time he said that he missed his grandmother a lot, he lived with her all through childhood but after she passed away, he was mostly taken care of by nannies. That’s why meeting your grandmother was a remedy or it’s kind—he was reminded of the fond memories with his own grandmother.

Taehyung also told you about the married woman he mentioned previously, and you felt sad for him. It must not have been easy, someone who does not really believe in love to have feelings for someone he can never have. But in a way, he believe there is a silver lining to meeting her—and in a way, you are amazed by how mature he was throughout everything. Yes, Taehyung may have scarred himself and the people around him, and done many things wrong as well, but to be able to live and act the way he did really brings him to a whole new light.

So when you told him with bright, tearful eyes about how much you are proud of what he did, it could be one of the moments Taehyung never thought he would cry in front of someone else but did. It was hard, like always feeling like he did everything wrong—but you are here, right in front of him, giving him the word he needed the most. He is glad that he was able to talk it out to someone, and that someone being you.

And when you are seated inside his car, looking out to the beautiful light posts alongside the Han River, you know it was your turn to open up and you did. You told him about everything, leaving no details about your past with Jisung. Even when you are just two sentences in, you are already crying, but it was inevitable. Taehyung holds your hands, his eyes filled with understanding. “Hey, hey. You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.”

But you shake your head, smiling up to him and squeezing his hand back. “No-I need to tell you this. I want to tell you this. I think one of the main problems is that I always keep this from everyone—especially my friends. I would love it for you to know.”

Then you continue about your past experience. About how Jisung helped you against a bastard who was able to turn everyone to his side in the end. How Jisung left and put the blame on you. And in the end, you find yourself not being able to continue, but Taehyung kept you close, hugging you as he pecked the top of your head. “I loved him—I really did. I thought I did. It was all my fault—”

“Y/N, It’s not your fault. At the beginning, you both are just victims but after that, he was nothing but a manipulative asshole who used you for his own benefits.” Taehyung feels his heart clenched at the thoughts of your past with him—how you were held captive and forced to keep up to whatever vile activities he was doing with his gang. “Y/N, you got to stop going out with this guy. He did not even love you anymore—he is just using you…”

You know it, your sanity always told you that, but the moment Taehyung said it, it’s just.. disheartening. “I know, Tae. But—what if? What if the accident did not happen? What if we were not together? He could be living the best life right now, attending the best university in the country, meeting someone else better, helping his family's economy…”

Taehyung caresses your head, his low whispers awakening your senses. “Y/N, we cannot include what if scenario in this, you know it. Yes, there is a possibility that it should have gone better, but there is also a worse scenario too, right? And to be frank, all of the choices were on him. He could have done something better with his life, yet he was the one who chose hanging out with those bad guys, not you. So please stop hurting and blaming yourself now.”

You nod, resting your head inside his chest, crying every suffocating tears to your limit. “I wanted to. I wanted to stop, Tae. But I can’t, he will always come back.”

“Y/N, it might hurt but I think you should go to the police.” He advises, and you let go, looking up to him in shock. “It is just a suggestion, don’t hate me. I do think it is for the better. Your parents even forbid you to do so, and you were even hospitalized and depressed because of him. Now he always wants something from you, blackmailing you.. He does nothing but damage to you.”

Inside, this delusional part of you wanted to defend Jisung and all your own past doings, but you know you are not making any sense and Taehyung is right. But throwing Jisung inside jail? The thought even scares you. “I don’t know. I’ll think about it.”

Taehyung scoff in disbelief at your clear disdain of his suggestion. “Wait.. Do you—do you possibly still have feelings for this bastard?”

At that statement, you look away from his proding eyes. Do you? You are not even sure about that. Yes, Jisung could be the worst, most toxic people that caused nothing good to you, but you cannot lie that you always find yourself finding the goodness inside him, always reacting to his touches and sweet talks—it’s involuntary. You are an idiot that somehow still likes him… “I.. I don't know.”

“This is crazy.” Taehyung whispers, more to himself. He doesn’t even know how you haven’t thrown this bastard inside jail—and it is somehow because you still have feelings for him. “This is overly altruistic and borderline masochist, Y/N.”

“I… I know. Can we please drop it? I-I don’t want to talk about it for now.”

Taehyung realizes that he has been insensitively judgmental of you, and he winces and reaches out for your hand. “I am sorry. You are one of the strongest, greatest women I have ever known, and...  And I guess it’s sad to know that you have been through this and.. It’s nothing. I apologize.”

You look up to him and nod, looking up to him with a warm smile. “That’s okay, I can see where you are coming from. It’s a surprise as well, as I never thought you would be the great  listener type and give kickass advice too, Tae. You are a very great friend, do you know it?”

He cheekily smiles, shooting you a wink. “I’ve been told so. By myself, I mean.”

“I think we should drop the depressing, real talk.” You chuckle, and so does he. “I am glad we did it, but let's refrain from it for the time being. I am fucking drained now, and hungry.”

“Me too! I am starving. Do you want to grab something on the way home?” Taehyung looks around in vision, trying to move his car. You did not even realize the disappointment in the pit of your stomach at the mention of going home—your parents and grandma are the reason, but majorly due to the thought of the day is about to come to an end. It’s just ten pm, and you really, really had a pleasant time with Taehyung. “We can grab takeouts too, if you have to go home now. Or even we can go directly home and—”

He was nervous, and you cannot help but to smile of reassurance. “It’s okay. I’m thinking of McDonald’s. You in?”

He coos loudly with fake tears. “You know what, Y/N? You just get me.”

The way to McDonald’s, your mind is suddenly caught on the fact that your family is assuming Taehyung as your boyfriend. “Hi, Tae. Can I ask you something?”

“Sure, sweetheart.” He responds lightly, without noticing what the nickname does to you, focusing on the street in front of him, and you cannot hold the blush blooming on your cheek. You were thankful that it was already dark, or you would have let him catch you slipping for the nth time today. “Anything you want to know?”

“Yes. So…. get this.” You start with vivid nerves, looking down to your lap timidly. “My grandma really, really likes you. I don’t know what happened, or how can you hypnotist her since all she can talk about now is you. I think she even forgot I am the granddaughter sometimes.” Taehyung chuckles widely, showing the creases on the corner of his eyes and it is so infectious you can’t hold a smile either, the tense on your shoulder slightly loosening. “And since she could not shut up about you, my parents are aware too. About you, I mean.”

Taehyung looks at you, a hint of surprise on his face. “Uhm, really? Wow, never thought it would be that big of a deal.”

“It is. I didn’t tell you this, but I have never introduced any friends, especially male ones to family ever since Jisung happened…” You mutter, volume getting smaller by each word. “So, it was a big deal for them. And my family can be presumptuous sometimes.. And…” You hold your breath, your mind conflicted whether you should tell him or not because you are sure Taehyung would reject you straight away and harshly. You know it well, but your heart is pained at the imagination of Taehyung telling you to fuck off with your silly proposition. So you take a drastic turn and hold back your request. “I...No. It’s nothing.”

Taehyung looks at you in worry. “Hey, you can tell me anything. It’s okay.”

You look up to him with a pout. “Can you promise me you won’t be mean?”

“What are you—of course I won’t, Y/N.” He giggles, giving your hand a light squeeze that nearly takes your breath away. “You can tell me everything.”

“Okay, here goes.” You whisper, trying to muster the leftover courage. “So, my parents and grandma kinda can’t stop talking about you... thinking you are my boyfriend. I never brought anyone after Jisung and… they just thought it was a big deal.”  You look straight ahead, still afraid to find whether there is disgust on Taehyung’s face.

“So?” Taehyung asks neutrally. “It’s fine. You can just tell them the truth.. that we’re not dating?” There was an edge on his response, and you are certain he is not getting anything out of your desperate sentence.

“But I don't think I want to drop that on them.” You continue breathily, biting your lower lips in hesitation. “They are going through some tough times right now, with my father's sickness and all—the news about me dating an averagely decent man with no crime history list could probably be the only good thing going for them. They’d be disappointed to learn that we are just friends.”

“Well, they don’t know who I am yet—what if I am a mafia man with a kick ass car that I bought with money from bank robbery?”

You look up to him, rolling your eyes but trying to display your best puppy face to date. “You left a great impression on them… Can we at least pretend we are dating? For just a few weeks, and it’s nothing big, I swear. You still can do your hookups, whatever okay to you. I could just tell we broke up in the next month or whenever convenient.”

Taehyung looks at you in hesitation, a little bit unsure. “I know—but are you sure? All rom-coms never ended well for that fake relationship bullshit.”

“Surprise on you watching lots of rom coms aside, I know we’ll be fine. All those cliche bullshit always ends in anyone falling in love, but that’s not us, right…?” The second you say those things, a literal large, blazing red exclamation point on the side of the street. You are hoping it is not a bad omen. “Please say yes. I know this is a big thing and I owe you a lot already, Taehyung. But I swear this is the last time. I would do anything for you to say yes.”

Fake dating you? He did not know how to do that, especially since he has to talk to your parents whatsoever—even the thought scares him as he never got along with his own either. What if he messes up and everything goes down in ashes? Taehyung literally was about to reject, when your last sentence caught his attention, shown by his raised left eyebrows. “Anything?”

You scorn, sending a look at him in disgust. “Are you seriously asking sex out of the deal right now, Taehyung?”

“No! Of course not. That is unnecessary. You know I can have sex with you with your greatest consent and you’d be begging for it.” The cocky jackass dares to wink, and you hate how partly right he is with that. Well, maybe not just partly. “So, not that. Okay, I will agree to your proposition. I have something in mind.”

You nod, rubbing your palms together. “Okay. Lay it on me.”

“I want you to stop seeing that guy—Jisung, I mean..” You were expecting a lot of things, but not that. Especially not that. Hence the look of disbelief displayed in your face, eyes open like saucers. “ It’s for your own good, Y/N. There is no good coming out of hanging out with that guy. I know it’s not easy—I won’t force you all at once. So by the end of our fake relationship, I want you to completely stop everything. If he still insists on seeing you, or anything harmful to you, you put a 50 meters restriction on him, throw him into a jail or anything. You have to stop seeing this guy.”

You look at his challenging gaze, and seeing his expression you know his mind is already made. There are no other options besides take it or leave it. “But you are doing it for me. Don’t you want to ask anything? Other than that?”

He firmly shakes his head. “Nope. That alone would be a very great satisfaction on my part.”

“Serious? You don’t want anything else?” You ask one more time. “Just making sure you are getting the best out of this deal, since it won’t happen ever again.”

“Yup. And maybe if you insist, you can bring me breakfast or lunch too. That would be convenient since I tend to forget them.” He is joking, but you nod in all sincerity. You know how much you really need to do this, your parents have been struggling a lot—more or less you take a huge role in that, so at least you want to repay them even with a smooth, hopefully foolproof lie. “Your grandma must be a good cook; I tasted it a bit before and it’s heavenly. Maybe you can pack some of her dishes for me too.”

You nod. “She is. So… This means you in?”

Taehyung nods, with evident doubt still painted across his face. “Maybe. What does this exactly entail?”

“The regular, 1980 primitive relationships? No ass grabbing, no any mention of sexual things, no funny business. This needs to be very, very likable to my parents. You need to show you are the committed type that can only love one person and one person only, fall in love hard or that type of romcom bullshit.”

“Wow, so you are asking me to be the exact opposite of me, then. Did you just roast me, Y/N?” You giggle and nod—Taehyung might be a jerk but he is not a fool. Seeing your mischievous expression, he pinches your cheek with a scrunched lips. “I see. So no ass grabbing, no mention of sexual things and funny business—it’s only when your parents are around, right?”

It’s now your turn to glare. “I’m kidding. I’ll wait until you ask it yourself.” He winks, and you roll your eyes. Same old, fuckboy Taehyung. Will he be able to pull the act off is beyond you. “Anything else? Should I take you from home everyday, or domestic bullshit like that too?”

“Not really, but maybe once or twice per week? We can grab food on the way home if you want to. And Friday or Saturday nights too—but only if you don’t have any party to attend. If you have no worries, i’ll just make up some lies.”

“It’s okay. I’ll take you out on those days.” He nonchalantly nods, like he just did not imply about giving up his parties and fuckboy activities for you. It is quite a surprise—you expect him to immediately refuse everything involving those holy days, and it sends an anonymous feeling right through your heart. 

“Beside, it will be just a month right? I’ll be okay missing a party or two.”

You clear your throat, looking down in faint disappointment. What were you thinking, seriously? Did you somehow expect him to sacrifice that much to mere, old you? He is a saint to even want to spend his friday night eating junk food with you rather than partying with those porcelain pretty girls on his side. “Sure.”

Another ten minutes spent just enjoying the silence with other Bee Gees songs playing in the background, and Taehyung breaks the silence. “So, if in case I refuse this. What would you do then?”

You purse your lips in contemplation since you haven’t even thought that far. What if Taehyung refuses? “I don’t know, haven’t thought that far. Ask Hoseok, maybe? He is polite, nice, cute too. My parents would be impressed.”

Taehyung snorts, a hint of dislike palpable across his beautiful features at your mention of his frat buddy, the one you acquainted to. “Wow. Just a few minutes into this fake relationship and you are already comparing your fake boyfriend to someone else. What a nice fake girlfriend you are.”

You fold your arms in front of your chest in irritation. “Hey, I just say what I think is right! You cannot lie that Hoseok indeed looks fine and cute, he is well-mannered too. And the fuck, why are you so self-centered? I am not saying it to make you jealous, you—” 

At your last sentence words, Taehyung suddenly hits break, abruptly stopping his Cecil from moving; your head almost strikes the dashboard if it weren’t for his arms holding you still. You are about to curse him, right before you can see the dangerous, cocky smirk formed on his lips, then the alarm inside your head goes off, all words are dead on your tongue. 

“A little bit you should know about your fake boyfriend, Y/N. I am very, very territorial. A word of advice? Never test it for yourself.”

*

So come the first day your plan of faking your relationship in front of your family. It is Monday morning, both you and Taehyung have an 8am class. Regardless of the inconvenient of waking up, it is simultaneously the perfect time to fake those lovey dovey teeth-rotting routines in front of your parents and quickly excuse yourself with attending an early class as a reason. So that’s how you force yourself up a half an hour earlier than usual—since you always woke up at 7.30 for an 8 am class—put an effort to present yourself better. You know your mother wakes up early every morning, so you purposefully blow your hair with your loud ass hair dryer to invite her in and ask why the hell are slobs like you doing up so loud at 6am in the morning.

“Nothing, Taehyung is actually picking me up this morning, so I just.. I just want to prepare early.” You fake a shy smile, and that’s how your irritated mother goes 180 degree changes and help you decide on what you should wear—a blue sundress that sits on your knees, along with a matching navy dress shoes, which is kinda unlike you—who the fuck masochist enough to wear makeup and dress for an 8am Monday class?

And you are fidgeting on your dining room seat now, counting the seconds for Taehyung to appear and finally take you out from this hell hole called your house—your mother can’t stop gushing about you being picked up by your handsome new boyfriend. He should be here anytime now, is it possible that he bails on you the second he really needs to execute the plan?

Few minutes go by and you are this close to leaving by yourself, and the familiar car engine sound is heard and you instinctively look out the window. It’s Cecil—god, you are even addressing Taehyung’s dead stuff with names too now—parked in front of your lawn, you can hardly believe it really is him. You swiftly stand up, hearts pounding a bit with your mind turning hazy. You are seriously going to do this—you are faking a relationship with Taehyung. The Kim Taehyung. You are seriously fucked.

“It’s your boyfriend! Invite him in for breakfast, Y/N!” Your mother giggles, and you answer with a wholehearted shake of head, internally cringing of the image. You are a genius for thinking every possible risk beforehand.

“No, mom. We have an 8am. I packed lunch too, we are going to eat it later, it’s okay.” You answer her hastily, securing your bag on your shoulder before walking out to open the gate for him. You can feel the cold sweat perspiring—there is no doubt your relatives are now scrutinizing every movement of your being. At the thought of being caught, you can’t even breathe normally, too wasteful of the air around you.

Yet when you open the gate and see Taehyung on the other side, smiling warmly at you, your heart literally skips a beat. You cannot believe it is really him, wearing a flannel shirt and black jeans, a bucket of purple rose on his hand. His black gleaming hair is neatly styled sideways, displaying a hint of his forehead. He simply looks… breathtaking. Is it really him, standing in front of you right now? Are you hallucinating?

“Good morning. You look beautiful today.” He greets with a compliment you never thought you will ever hear coming from him—or anyone the first thing in the morning, along with a charming smile that somehow brighten your vision.

“Thank.. you? And good morning to you too..” You whisper breathlessly, still in haze of the fact that he is here, standing in front of you.

“I brought you flowers.” He says, handing over the flowers to you. You receive it with vivid hesitation, looking down in shock while he continues, still with the same smile. “Should I hug you now?”

“W-what?”

But before you can even respond, Taehyung quickly holds you by the waist, pulling you close inside his arm, resting his chin on your shoulder. Your head is literally spinning—the warmth radiating from his body resulting in a strange emotion, but it was gone before you can even realize. “Let’s greet your parents, and then we can go? Are you okay with that?”

Still in a daze, you are only able to muster a nod as an answer. Taehyung just now, this is not the Taehyung you remember—the despicable fuckboy that doesn’t give a shit about anything and anyone, and is always looking only for short fun and severely allergic to any sort of attachment. And those eyes looking out for you and those acts he put up, you don’t know it’s just you or there is literally something so deep about it. Like he is not doing this just for charity and help you—but because somehow he really wants to. Are you that delusional?

So after saying goodbye to your parents still with not much words coming out from you—Taehyung mostly does the small talks and excuses for the both of you, you are now seated inside his car. “Hey. Are you okay? Did I do something wrong?” He suddenly asks, gazing intently at you with mild concern on his face. “I mean.. you are kinda silent. Is there—“

You are quick to rebut. “Nothing! Nothing’s wrong, I am just.. shocked. That’s all.”

He raised his left eyebrow. “Why?”

“I mean—I mostly did not expect you’d be this dedicated. You wear flannels, jeans, style your hair nicely when I know the most decent thing you wore could be your celine overpriced shirt and loose trousers. You even bought flowers! How can I not be shocked?” You nearly yell in defense, and Taehyung smiles at your amusing reaction.

“What can I say? I am a very, very dedicated person in whatever I do.” He cockily responds, and you scoff. 

“Pssh—Tell that to your studies.” 

He gasps in shock at your insult. “I get results! And I don’t wanna brag, but I literally watched three rom coms yesterday just to get into character. You have to applaud me for my effort.”

You peer at him—like all the changes he did isn’t weird enough. “Why?”

“Just because. This is the stepping stone of my acting gigs, I might offer fake boyfriend service after this. I really need to buy those McDonalds nuggets again.” You sigh, remembering a few days ago when Taehyung tasted your nuggets—not an euphemism—for the first time and literally ordered another five portions just for himself. Well, not like he can’t easily buy shares of McDonalds if he wants to.

Five minutes in silence, before Taehyung carefully brushes your arm with his own, somehow affectionately. “Regardless of this being faked whatsoever, I really do think you look beautiful today. You always look beautiful—but that dress outstandingly looks good on you.” He breathily compliments with a shy smile. You literally were expecting that flirty, mischievous eyes glint your way, so you can disregard it easily with Taehyung being a horny dog, but all you can detect from him is sincerity and you are silenced. It was like he wasn’t complimenting you just because of anything, other than his own will. And you do not know how to reply—you are not mentally prepared for that kind of sincere reaction coming from that renowned fuckboy.

“All jokes aside—I really think we pulled it off.” He giggles in delight. “You got nothing to worry about, sweetheart. I positively think they are charmed.”

A little voice inside you tells you that your parents are not the only one charmed, but you forcefully bury the thoughts away, throwing your gaze outside the window.

*

Few days passed without a hitch, and you can proudly proclaim everything went smoothly. Taehyung did offer to pick you up every morning, but it did not even make sense with your different schedules and the fact that he literally lives inside the university area with his frat. During those five days, you could easily reason with your parents about Taehyung’s whereabouts, saying he is busy but you explain that you meet him everyday for lunch. You are not fully lying though—you always deliver the food you promised, but whenever you do, you give it in a secluded area, and quickly leave as not to be catched by anyone. 

It’s not that Taehyung really asks to keep it under the table—but you just assume that it would be really awkward for the both of you if you were to be caught by someone. You know how fast the news would travel, saying that your college resident's most favorite fuckboy—especially after Jeon Jungkook's retirement—has a complicated relationship with a very plain girl such as you. It would be a shame for him, and you don’t really need another reminder about how undeserving you are to par with him.

Friday night it is, and you have been held hostage since afternoon until now, exactly 11pm by the team task paper you will be submitting Monday, along with Jinyoung who is your teammate and shares the class with you. Library closes at 6pm, so both of you continue on it, working alongside on the desk outside the library. Regardless of the short time knowing each other, you are glad to be partnered up with him—he is very thoughtful, smart, kind and easy to talk to. You are most definitely not complaining.

“We did it. I can’t believe we did it.” You whispers, faking sobs about how glad you are while typing soundly the last paragraph on your paper. Jinyoung chuckles, having a deep breath of gladness that everything has finally come to an end. It was clear that he has something on his mind—could probably due to the fact that his phone has been blowing up for the hundredth time already just in a span of an hour. You are surprised he even stayed this long—his part is already completed two hours ago yet he still insists that the call is nothing important, and he’d be okay helping you with the part you completely need help on, no matter how many times you ask him you’d be doing fine on your own.

Your phone suddenly rings, signaling an incoming message, so you check it with a quick glance. It was from Taehyung—but then you roll your eyes and continue whatever you were doing with no further thoughts whatsoever.

From : Taehyung

Hey, where are you? Come to the frat house, we are having a party babe xx

“So, where are you heading to? It’s Friday night, are you going out? Or to a party?” You nonchalantly ask, closing your laptop while gathering your things. He nods, typing something on his phone and gives you a short smile.

“Yup. My girlfriend has been asking for awhile.” He says like it’s nothing, and your jaw nearly drops. It’s his girlfriend, calling him like there’s no tomorrow? And he just ignored her for the sake of doing a task with you? Talk about dedication to education—but you suddenly feel the overwhelming guilt.  It’s not like you can’t do it tomorrow, but you are a perfectionist and just prefer anything to be completed asap before your over-glorified weekend. 

“You should’ve told me! I would be totally okay if you left first, there is no biggie. Besides, there is still time tomorrow to do it.” You desperately explain where you are coming. Jinyoung is kind, but it was unnecessary. “Now I feel guilty.”

“It’s no biggies! I do agree with you, I don’t want to hold it until yesterday. I also have something important I have to do.” Jinyoung assures, but you still feel not good about taking his Friday night out with the girlfriend for your silly ambition. “I.. I kinda have something in my mind. I know we just met—but do you wanna hear me out?”

You easily agree, and Jinyoung vigorously reaches out for something inside his pocket, and shows a red velveteen, small rectangular box. The gasp was inevitable—never in a million years would you ever guess it would be that. “Is.. is this an engagement ring?”

“Yes! Yes. I am going to propose to my girlfriend tomorrow.” He says, eyes sparkling with excitement and nerves. Seeing how sincere he is brought a lump in your throat. “I know it is early—everyone tells me I’m too young and whatever. But I’ve been with her since we were in middle school, and I just don’t think I want to be with anyone else. I am not usually that naive, courageous person to begin with, but I have never been more sure about anything like this.” He whispers, an evident edge is heard on his last word. “I.. I just want you to give me another perspective. Or not—if you are uncomfortable, but I just.. I am just curious. What do you think?”

“Wow. That’s a lot to process.” You whisper with a nervous chuckle. You don’t even know what you are thinking—too much is happening inside your mind and you have a hard time to process and make out something of it. “I think it’s amazing. And you know this girl for a longtime now, it’s a very beautiful thing and… I think you should go for it.” 

“Really? You think so?” Jinyoung asks, kind of not believing his own hearing. “You are actually the first one to support me. Not even my parents do.”

“I think the world has been too skeptical of love.” You whisper, the lump is getting evident and it is hard to even speak. “I know that there may be a hundred case of failed relationships out there—and people tend to assume everything will follow those majority cases. Even those pessimistic minds could even lead to more failure, you know? There’s nothing good that comes out with anyone tends to overthink so many things.” 

“But anyone still cannot deny the fact that there are two happy relationships that go against those hundreds. The chance might be small, but there still is. And if those years together makes you willing to put everything on the line and take the chance, I think you should propose..” One thing that you are sure of is that each word said you are no longer talking to Jinyoung, but yourself. It is to address your recent trait, about how sceptical you have been about having a real, sincere relationship with someone and always settle for less or good enough.

Well it's true. You heard and experienced these people around you, all the struggles, ruined relationships, especially the obnoxious men you had relationships with, have made you greatly cryptic of ever finding a love that lasts. You never thought it would be that hard to face one cold truth—maybe it’s you that really needs to start finding it with the ones that have the chance to have that with you. Instead of spending it for someone that only is looking for short fun, using you only for your body and leaving the moment he’s had enough.

“Thank you for that.” He mutters, the eyes filled with emotions yet his face lightens after hearing your encouraging words. “Exactly what I need to hear.”

Both of you are now standing on the busy street. “You wanna go home? Let me take you back.” Jinyoung kindly offers, and you couldn’t even hold back the snicker.

“It’s okay. Your soon-to-be wife is waiting.” You mum with a wide smile, even with a hint of sadness that you cannot suppress. You reach out to squeeze him in a short hug. “Good luck, Jinyoung. Wishing the best for you and her.”

After saying goodbye, you walk in the opposite directions of him, wandering with no exact destination. You don’t know what exactly happened to your lively mood, now completely blue and somber. What is it that makes you feel like you are now at the lowest point of your life? Is it possible that you just realized how far you have strayed from the person you wish to be, and now you are desperate to do something and rearrange your life back to the way it should be?

It’s quite depressing to know that there is the ideal life you have been planning and craving for a long time now, but one day you wake up and find you are heading the complete opposite direction and already strayed too far.

Your phone is ringing again, and you can just know it is Taehyung on the other side. He could be the last person you want to see now, but you are desperate to just answer and make him stop. You are most definitely not in the mood to talk with his annoying, pesky ass.

“Taehyung—”

“Y/N, where are you?! I asked your mother since you are not replying and she told me you haven’t come back home.” He shouts in discernible concern and worry with a faint music beat heard in the background—he must be still at the party, since 12am is still too early for these people to head back home, on the way of bad drunken state to the point of throwing up on the streets. If that so, why would he still be contacting you now ever since hours ago? If you are an idiot, you would let yourself believe he really is worried about you. And since when is he on talking basis with your mother? “Why are you not answering, Y/N?! Are you—”

“No, I am not.” You answer tiredly, knowing precisely that he is referring to Jisung’s place. You don’t want to debate him, all you want at the moment to be is alone and cry to your heart content. “I am just.. here. I am going home now, no worries.”

A good minute of silence. “Ah, you’re going home. Okay, good.” He still hesitates. “Text me when you are home.”

“I will. Bye, Taehyung.” 

You are about to press the red button on your phone when the booming voice of him is heard. “No! Wait. This party is boring, I wanna leave. Let me take you home.”

“Taehyung, I am in no way in the mood of dealing with your shit right now.” You curtly sigh, massaging your temple in distress. This persistent boy is surely a pain in the ass. “Talk to me tomorrow.”

Taehyung suddenly lowers his voice to the point of whispering, could probably detect how out of the character you are right now. “Hey, are you okay, sweetheart? You sound sad.”

You are about to say you’re okay, but your head is too heavy with emotions and even lying about being okay stress you out. “I am not. I am not fucking okay. I could arguably be at the worst point of my life. So can you leave me alone?”

“I know where you are. Stay there, I am coming.”

You don’t even know why, or how, or when Taehyung is coming, yet you obliged to his request. Because you don’t know what else to do, or where to go, and even believing in his almost unbelievable request seems appealing to you right now. All because you want to know if he’ll come through or not. That’s how you settle on sitting in front of a closed ice cream shop, holding your legs closer to your chest, your mind wandering to the things you can’t even point out.

Yet against all odds, in just ten minutes of waiting you can detect the black Audi stopping on the side of the street, with Taehyung walking out of it and on your way. You quickly stand up, erasing the remnants of tears on both your sticky cheeks before Taehyung crushes to you, engulfing you inside his arms. His palms caressing the top of your hair, nose buried in your hair, all for you can somehow feel better.

“Why are you sad, Y/N? Something bad happened?” He questions slowly and carefully.

“Yup. Life happened.” You nod, your finger hesitantly intending to reciprocate his hug but you refrain to doing so. There is no good in doing that anymore, especially now. “Everything just.. sucks.”

Taehyung giggles breathily at your sentence, ironically finding mirth in your words. His two thumbs at the either side of your eyes, wiping the leftover tears. “Isn’t that my daily thoughts. Let me take you home, and we can talk on the way?”

On the way to his car, Taehyung securely places his arm around you, squeezing you close to his side before opening the door for you. And before the car is about to move, he ensures your seat belt is strapped and secured well, while all you can do is to stare at him, wondering what the hell is he thinking for doing all these way-over-affectionate acts to you with no surveillance of your parents. 

The words that are directed to ask about the fuck did he mean with all these things are already in the tip of your tongue, but you decide against it. It would be very awkward and presumptuous for you to assume that someone who is literally allergic to relationships is doing that because he has certain feelings for you. Or maybe because you are too scared to find out and get hurt in the end.

“How did you know I’m here?” You question aloofly and he smile.

“Besides being a genius with such great sense? Yup, I heard the ice cream shop advertisement songs when I called you.” He proudly sing-songs like it’s his proudest achievement. You snort, realizing that you indeed a dumb.

“So, what did you do before? I thought you had something to work on.” He casually asks while stealing glances at you, noting your deep silence. “Did you finish your paper?”

“Yeah.” You simply nod, trying to focus on anything else other than looking sideways, to him. “You? Got bored at the party? No girls interesting enough to fuck tonight?”

Taehyung hums in grief, and the coldness washing over your heart is greatly detectable. “Yup. The drink is so-so, the music is boring, the people are boring. You’d start thinking that this party is just too repetitive, you know?” You think you sincerely wished the bitterness on your tone were undetectable, but the fact that Taehyung is utterly insensitive by your sarcastic question bothers you a lot. God, you are such a mess. “So, now that your paper is done, are you busy? We can talk. Or go somewhere else you’d like?”

You look at him, finding the flirty, mischievous smile plastered on his face, but it only adds the feeling of nausea inside your chest. “Do you know Jinyoung? I think he is from engineering too.”

Taehyung nods, a tad bit surprised at your sudden change of topic, yet you continue. “He is my task mate for this paper. And wow… I am really amazed at him.”

“Amazed? Why?”

“So he told me he will propose to his girlfriend tomorrow.” You explain, trying to sound nonchalant. “It’s just amazing, I think. How can someone be sure to marry someone else at such an early age, that he will stay true to just one person and one person only for the rest of his life?”

“What—Seriously? There is still people as naive as that?” Taehyung snickers, and you could feel your heart drop at his vivid disdain at the mention of serious relationship. “Come on, it's the 21st century. People really think anyone can be chained into a monogamous relationship for the rest of their lives? Grow up.”

“He has been in a relationship with her since middle school.”

Taehyung’s eyes are wide as saucers. “And still wanna go through with that? I can see why you said it’s amazing, Y/N.”

“I think alike too.” You curtly sneer, folding your arm on your chest. “He asked me what I thought about it and I encouraged him to go ahead and propose. And do you wanna know why I am sad? Because I’m jealous, Taehyung. Along the way, I have turned too skeptical of love and started losing faith that I’ll have someone like that too. Too tired of actually thinking about who I should date and instead settle for undeserving men. I hate it.”

“Y/N, trust me. I know how men think, especially all these boys. It’s easy to think you can tie them up into a relationship, but it’s like.. a timer, waiting to blow off.” Taehyung stubbornly explains like love is a disease—just the way you expect him to. “It’s like you are waiting for the heartbreak. Please don’t be naive like that.”

“So what if I try and I fail?” The frustration is clear in your tone, irritated that Taehyung exactly sounds like a parent telling their kid Santa doesn’t exist. “That doesn’t mean I’m naive. At least I’m a step closer to finding sincere love, not like you fuckboys that are allergic to have a mutual love and respectful relationship.”

“Y/N, when you are a child of divorce, it is hard to believe that love does exist.” Taehyung intently stares at you, before letting go the breath he has been holding. “It’s not entirely impossible, I know there are some happy marriages too. But how can you guarantee you’re that lucky 1% with the compassionate, dreamy, lovey dovey monogamous relationship you have been worshipping about? It’s unrealistic—and doesn’t make sense.”

“But how can I know if I don’t try?!” You ruffle your hair in frustration, face reddening in anger. “I’d rather try and fail rather than not do anything at all. But you know what? I have no one to blame but myself. I am the one thinking that I might find love in college, filled with pubescent fuckboys. You are right, Taehyung. I should have known in the first place. I have to avoid you—exactly boys like you.”

Taehyung reaches out to you with his right hand, sadness and panic coloring his face. “Hey—hey. I am sorry, Y/N. Please, please don’t be like this. I overstepped it, I know. I—you’ll find it. You’ll love someone that truly loves you too. Don’t be like this, okay? I am sorry.”

Realizing that you have not replied since the fight occurred few minutes ago, Taehyung stops his car on the side of the street, just a few metres from your house. He is now facing you, holding your hand while brushing it against his thumb in regret.

“I am sorry. I was wrong, it... it wasn’t my place to be judgmental about your life choices.” Taehyung is quick to apologize, his large eyes showing nothing but genuineness. “I am just.. Sad. I am sad. You know why Y/N?”

You still are not looking at him, but he continues, even with constricted throat. He is too desperate. “Because I care about you. Seeing you cry, it’s like seeing myself too. I feel awful whenever I see you cry, I think even worse than my own. And the thought of someone breaking your heart? I don’t want to imagine that.” Taehyung whispers, shifting you to face him, eyes locking with a splash of anguish while your heart pounds fast until you can hear it echoes in your ear. 

“I have opened myself to you more than anyone else, and I’d like to think you do likewise. I am comfortable talking to you, and for you to talk to me as well. And to imagine that you have someone else that you will go to whenever you are happy, or sad, or in need of a mere hug—it’s just… it’s making me feel lonely and sad.” The smile on his lips is now painted with a hint of sadness, eyes looking down to his lap. 

“These few weeks with you.. I feel good. I finally, finally feel good about myself, like I’m not alone again. You make me kind of want to protect myself instead of hurting it. That’s a first.” Taehyung shyly chuckles, scratching his nape. Your eyebrows crinkled. What does he mean by that? He likes you, but only as a friend? Do you even want to find out and voluntarily get hurt?

“I just… Can I be selfish, Y/N? At least until you find someone deserving of all your love and attention?”

Instead of answering, you shut him with softly embracing his lips with your own. It doesn’t even need a mere second for Taehyung to respond, his arms are swift in supporting you by the waist, both your arms are secured around his neck. His lips are warm, fluff, and taste just the way you remember—like honey or great whiskey. The kiss is slow paced, nothing like your previous sexual encounters when both of you are just desperate to reach the ultimate peak, but now? You feel how much he savors every second, trying to make you as comfortable as ever with his gesture. As few seconds go by, his tongue has softly embraces yours, until you are left breathless. You softly tug his hair as he moans to the kiss, drunk with the taste of you.

At that time, you despise thinking. You despise the fact that you feel likewise. Too desperate to have him against you, to hold him close, to feel his lips, and you despise hearing the alarm screaming at the back of your head at how dangerous it is—you simply don’t want to stop. Yes, it is as easy as flipping over a hand to know that against every odd, you like him. You like Taehyung, the renowned fuckboy. And you don’t know when, or why. Maybe that one time he waited for you with no certainty and hugged you when you were having a breakdown. Or that time he listened to your story attentively and gave you an encouraging pat on the back. Or that time he picked you up, held you close, gave you flowers and kindly interacted with your parents. Or maybe all of it. You don’t know.

But then a scary realization enters you. You are just about to do it again—the thing you swear you will avoid with all you might. You settle for less. You are about to settle for Taehyung, this amazing, wonderful man who cares about you more deeply than anyone else, but will never go down that road with you. He doesn’t believe in relationships, he will never settle down and label himself for anyone. And this kiss you are sharing with him? Or the hook-ups you might just be this close of doing? That is literally driving you further inside this anonymous yet strong feeling you have for him. It’s doing you harm, and you desperately need to stop

That’s how you forcefully detach yourself for him, giving a thin, forced smile and mutter your goodbye whilst exiting his car. You quickly run to your house without even once looking back, closing the gate behind you while desperately looking up to avoid the tears from raining down on your cheek.

Yes, at least you tried, and now you know. It’s not Taehyung—it will never be him.

===================

You are correct, there is a second part to this that i’ll hopefully post soon! I really hope you like it, and please leave a message in comment and ask box, it would help a lot! thank you for reading, lovelies~

UPDATED : The Platinum Rules (Finale) : Click Here!

updated with The Platinum Rules! im so happy you liked it im cryin huhuhu SEE U SOON IN The Platinum Rules (Finale) !!! <3

masterlist

this is not really a masterlist since i still only have few baby fics, but for easier access! <3

Entree 1 | What we are not ; Soulmates

summary: you love yoongi with all your heart throughout these five years being in a relationship with him. you always thought he is the one — your one, even when the infamous soulmate signs are still not showing. yet you always wait, because you know it’s him you are destined to be with, forever. but what would happen if then his childhood best friend comes along, with the universe-signed telltales that you have been looking for true love in all the wrong places?

{soulmate!au, established relationship!au}

pairing: min yoongi x female reader x kim taehyung

chapters : prologue | chapter 1 | chapter 2 | chapter 3 | epilogue

Entree 2 | (Not) Just Friends

summary : Befriending the fuckboy with devilishly handsome face and emotional capacity of a pea is not your choice, especially when you met him when you were in fifth grade, attracted for the unhealthy vermillion shaded face of the nerd he was that fateful day. So was Jungkook, as he is already putting strictly platonic label on your forehead and calls it a day. But it is only a matter of time before everything changes, and it only takes a frat party, lots of booze and… a certain Kim Seokjin.

{friends to lovers! au, fuckboy! au, fratboy! au}

pairing : jeon jungkook x reader (side kim seokjin)

link: coming soon | one shot | drabble 1 | drabble 2 | drabble 3

Entree 3 | The Platinum Rules

summary : Being a true fuckboy he truly is, Taehyung only has three rules when dealing with his one night stands. One, never ever wine and dine someone before sleeping with them. Two, never ever stay the night after one night stands. Three, is never, never ever meet a girl’s parents under any, any circumstance ever. These are his Platinum Rules, the one never break even once and it conveniently keeps him off the hook for anything. But what magic are you playing to have the fuckboy break all his rules for you in a span of only 24 hours?

{fake relationship! au, fuckboy! au, fratboy! au} 

pairing : kim taehyung x reader (spinoff of (Not) Just Friends)

link: part one | part two (finale)

HI ALL i just posted The Platinum Rules as a spinoff of (Not) Just Friends! Kindly enjoy and tell me what you think! :D loveeeeee <3

The Platinum Rules

summary : Being a true fuckboy he truly is, Taehyung only has three rules when dealing with his one night stands. One, never ever wine and dine someone before sleeping with them. Two, never ever stay the night after one night stands. Last one, is never, never ever meet a girl’s parents under any, any circumstance ever. These are his Platinum Rule, the one never break even once and it conveniently keeps him off the hook for anything. But what magic are you playing to have the fuckboy break all his rules for you in a span of only 24 hours?

{fake relationship! au, fuckboy! au, fratboy! au}

pairing : kim taehyung x reader 

word counter : 24.556

A.N = Read (Not) Just Friends here! Please be mindful this is in Lia’s perspective in (Not) Just Friends!

================================

“You did not just… You know what? Fuck you, Jeon Jungkook!”

Jungkook snickers, looking at the panicked face of his best friend, Taehyung when he sees he is not the only one in the table. Taehyung should have guessed, though. Since when did Jungkook ever ask for a dinner together other than McDonald and its peers? He thought Jungkook was being nice, wine and dining him for somehow ignoring their best friendship ever since getting himself a new girlfriend. Not that he is unhappy for Jungkook and he’d rather chop off his finger than to admit this, but he misses partying night in and out with him—he is just that whipped for his new girlfriend and decides to take himself off that routinity.

“I only say she is cute once. Once! And I don’t see any reason why you, your girlfriend and Y/N should be having dinner in this fancy ass place! This is a lowkey double date, do you know that?” Taehyung hisses in agitation.

Keep reading

The Platinum Rules

summary : Being a true fuckboy he truly is, Taehyung only has three rules when dealing with his one night stands. One, never ever wine and dine someone before sleeping with them. Two, never ever stay the night after one night stands. Last one, is never, never ever meet a girl’s parents under any, any circumstance ever. These are his Platinum Rule, the one never break even once and it conveniently keeps him off the hook for anything. But what magic are you playing to have the fuckboy break all his rules for you in a span of only 24 hours?

{fake relationship! au, fuckboy! au, fratboy! au}

pairing : kim taehyung x reader 

word counter : 24.556

A.N = Read (Not) Just Friends here! Please be mindful this is in Lia’s perspective in (Not) Just Friends!

================================

“You did not just… You know what? Fuck you, Jeon Jungkook!”

Jungkook snickers, looking at the panicked face of his best friend, Taehyung when he sees he is not the only one in the table. Taehyung should have guessed, though. Since when did Jungkook ever ask for a dinner together other than McDonald and its peers? He thought Jungkook was being nice, wine and dining him for somehow ignoring their best friendship ever since getting himself a new girlfriend. Not that he is unhappy for Jungkook and he’d rather chop off his finger than to admit this, but he misses partying night in and out with him—he is just that whipped for his new girlfriend and decides to take himself off that routinity.

“I only say she is cute once. Once! And I don’t see any reason why you, your girlfriend and Y/N should be having dinner in this fancy ass place! This is a lowkey double date, do you know that?” Taehyung hisses in agitation.

Keep reading

what do you think?

pairing | kim taehyung x reader

featuring | bts boys

genre | fluff

warnings | a lot of babe and baby usages as terms of endearment lol

boyfriend!au to fiancé!au

word count | 4.1k

disclaimer | This is a work of fiction. It is not intended to describe any real life events or situation involving those in the story. The storyline, including personalities and some characters, has been created for entertainment purposes. Plagiarism is unacceptable, and if you suspect that this work is a form of plagiarism, please contact me privately. Please do not share, repost, or copy these stories, in any form, without permission.

note | This is a little short oneshot based on Tae Tae’s cooking in the BTS Run episodes! Sorry it took so long! It’s been delayed for a couple weeks now, but it’s finally out. Please leave feedback, if you can, on this one because right now I feel like I write better short fluff stories rather than long oneshot ones, so I’m a bit worried for this one. Anyway, I hope you like it!

summary: Your boyfriend was always unconfident about his cooking skills, so when you finally get to taste his dish and he ask you what you think, how should you reply?

release date: August 12, 2020

Seoul, South Korea

Loud clashes of pots and pans rudely stir you awake from your deep, peaceful slumber. Small strips of sunlight peeked through the curtains of your bedroom, leaving little streams of light on the bed. The birds chirping outside the bedroom window sang and the left side of your bed was bare. The only thing left behind were ruffled marks of a good night’s rest scattered across the bed.

You open your eyes and smile gently to yourself, the smooth bed sheets have a comfortable cool feeling against your skin. You move your hands over your eyes, rubbing the tiredness away. The noisy commotion outside your room ceases to disturb your morning and a quiet yawn escapes your mouth as you stretch your body. The muscles of your body were sore and ached from the position you had slept in, making it harder for you to move. Your legs rub together and unintentionally pull down your blanket to expose your soft skin. You sit up and reach for your phone to check the time, pulling your blanket around you once again to provide you warmth.

10: 24 am

Now what was your boyfriend, a man who does not wake up till at least 11: 30 am, doing in the kitchen at 10: 24 am instead of in bed showering you with morning kisses? You toss your phone back on the bed and sit there, enjoying the blissful atmosphere.

It takes you a couple seconds to think of any particular reason why he would be up this early. Did he suddenly have work? Why was he in the kitchen though? Was he washing the dishes that you asked him to clean last night? You let out a massive moan this time as you rub your eyes again, tiredly.

You hear a sizzling sound coming from your kitchen and smell the strong scent of meat that travels to your bedroom, making you whiff the air again in desire. Your eyes widen when you realize what he was doing, or rather what he did. Your boyfriend, Kim Taehyung, had cooked you breakfast? Was he finally going to show off his cooking skills? You were pulled away from your thoughts when the man of the hour arrived, stealing your attention instantly.

Keep reading

[6:50 a.m.] kim fucking taehyung stood in a black turtleneck tucked into black slack-like pants and a faux fur coat draped across the span of his broad shoulders. his stylist adjusted his bangs over his face as the magazine editor spotted you. “ah there you are, y/n, right on time. we’ll have someone help you set up, and we should be running in five minutes!” nodding, you started setting up your equipment and pulled out your camera. by the time you shot the photos, the time had gone from 6:50 to almost 9:30. you had help from the editor and the magazine’s staff. you did your best to shoot these pictures, if you were honest with yourself but how could you when taehyung looked so good? you tried not to stare at him too long, although his mere presence a couple feet away from you shook you to the core. once th shoot was over and you started to pack up, you felt your phone buzz. a text from an unknown number said: you wanna grab some breakfast? there’s this really nice place that makes a really good waffle nearby. when you texted back a tentative who’s this, your heart was beating out of your chest because almost immediately the unknown number replied taehyung. i got your number from the staff lol don’t freak out. well, you know what they say; when your all-time celebrity crush turned (kinda) colleague offers to grab breakfast with you, you don’t refuse.

[11:56 p.m.] it hurts a lot when taehyung forgets to show up to your birthday party, especially since it’s a really important one: your 21st. this is important because this is the night you find out who your soulmate is. it’s supposed to be a tattoo that appears on your wrist and it shows up on midnight the day after your birthday; you’ve seen it on your parents’ wrists, your best friend and her husband’s wrists and of course, jin and most of the others. taehyung, though, kept his wrapped up. you never saw him show it, either cloth or a watch would cover it. you wonder why he kept it hidden, and you also wonder if any of the other boys knew what it said, because you have a small glimmer of hope that maybe, just maybe, it’s your initials.

jimin and the others stay over that evening, reminiscing the nights events. you are all seated comfortably on the couches in your living room, conversing about random things. “are you excited?”jungkook asks you and you nod. he’s older than you by a few years and he’s actually the reason you met and befriended the rest of the group. “you finally get to find out who you’re destined to be with for the rest of your life,“ namjoon adds, looking down at his wrist and tracing the letters with adoration in his eyes. he found his soulmate a couple of months ago, and they’re totally in love. that must be nice.

you smile solemnly, hoping that your pain is masked by the grin because it’s not the moment you imagined; perhaps everything would’ve been better if taehyung was here. the boys told you he’d be missing the night, as he was “working on his single” according to them. but jungkook’s gaze can’t lie to you and you sense the hesitancy. ouch. that means he didn’t wanna be here. and nothing makes you more sick to your stomach.

your eyes find the clock every few seconds, and your heartbeat accelerates as it approaches closer to midnight. it’s now 11:58 and the silence in the room grows heavier and heavier, everyone in anticipation. in your head, all you can imagine is how crazy it would be if the letters KTH appear on your wrist. it’s nothing short of a dream at this point.

one minute before midnight is when you start feeling a tingling sensation on your wrist. it’s when you wince painfully that everyone’s eyes are on you, jungkook on your left rubbing your shoulder in an attempt to relieve the pain. and perhaps you’ve started to lose it because you’ve been sleep deprived but you start to see the faintest marking of the letter K. no. it can’t be.

T.

H.

those are the letters that appear on your wrist. you look around the room in wonder, the boys’ voices sounding fuzzy as all you can think is, damn it, why isn’t he here for this?

the exhaustion is taking over your body fast, and it’s within minutes that you feel fatigued. the last thing you hear before you fall asleep on the couch is “taehyung should’ve been here.”

Masterlist (✅ completed, 🔛 ongoing)

Series:

Namjoon

Jin

Yoongi

One That I Want ||m.yg|| 🔛

Description: It is summer of 1956, and leader of the T-Birds Yoongi is working at a food joint at the beach to make extra money over the summer, when he meets a pretty girl. They start a summer fling that unfortunately had to come to end, but an unexpected turn of events will bring them back together.

Genre: 1950s au, angst, fluff, some smut, Greaser!Yoongi x Square/Goody-Two-Shoes!OC.

TW: underage drinking and smoking, sexual content, violence, misogyny (it’s the 1950s so peak macho man era).

Start Reading Here!

Hoseok

Jimin

Taehyung

Jungkook

Unsinkable ||j.jjk|| ✅

Description: The 1910s are the peak of passenger ships, it was also the peak of classism, Jungkook is a third class immigrant from Korea, and you are a first class “prisoner” not wanting to go back to a life of strict standards. Once you meet Jungkook, life seems worth living, but when tragedy strikes, will you guys make it out to live the life you planned?

Genre: Titanic AU, poor/artist!JK x rich!f reader, angst, fluff, very slight smut, forbidden love.

Warnings: mention of s*ic*de attempt, major character death, major maritime disaster, graphic description of hypothermia and frostbite, drowning scare. Mentions of DV, descriptions of thalassophobia, major/life changing injuries.

Word Count: 16k+

Start Reading Here!

One-Shots:

Namjoon

Nuts ||k.nj||

Description: how had Namjoon ended up in this situation? What do you mean he had to actually make a connection instead of fucking your brains out?

Genre: Oneshot, Non-idol AU, Rapper!Namjoon x Makeup Artist f!reader, strangers-to-lovers, Too Hot To Handle inspired, SMUT SMUT SMUT!! Hopeful ending. 

Warnings: Namjoon is a bit of a player and full of himself, just smut overall with a hopefully balanced plot, eventually he’ll get back in touch with his feelings, this might be the longest oneshot I've written? Oral sex f receiving, fingering f receiving, grinding, slight exhibitionism.

Word Count: 8.5k+

Start Reading Here!

Jin

Yoongi

Never Ending ||m.yg||

Description: wasn't Yoongi the one that was supposed to give you flowers for no reason?

Genre: One-shot, Yoongi x f!reader, established relationship, fluff, Yoongi is literally the sweetest man alive (wbk)

WARNINGS: None, this idea came after seeing this really sweet like reddit post, it will be at the end of this post.

Word Count: 2.6k+

Start Reading Here!

Hoseok

Can I have this Dance? ||j.hs||

Description: Where Hobi asks you to his fraternity spring formal in cinematic way.

Genre: drabble, college au, fluff, smut, established relationship, Hoseok x f!reader.

TW: foreplay, protected sex, virgin sex (mentions of blood), vanilla sex.

Word Count: 2.2k

Start Reading Here!

Jimin

Whistle ||p.jm||

Description: you and Jimin meet after your dogs get out.

Genre: Non Idol AU, neighbors-to friends-to lovers, Non-idol!Jimin x f!reader, fluff LOTS of fluff.

TW: anxiety over animals escaping.

Word Count: 3k+

Start Reading Here!

Taehyung

If Walls Could Talk ||k.th||

Description: where Tae shares a bathroom wall with his next door neighbor and can hear her music choices every time he takes a late night bath.

Genre: forced proximity (kind of?); Recently discharged!Tae x f!reader; some angst; fluff; hopeful ending.

TW: Mentions of verbal abuse (not with Tae involved), mentions of cheating.

Word Count: 5.5k+

Start Reading Here!

If ||k.th||

Description: Welcome to the follow up to If Walls Could Talk! We will get a bit more back story with yn and Yejun and how this is affecting her feelings for Taehyung. This follows your date with Tae and after that, although you’ve been a little hot and cold with him after and he isn’t sure why. 

Genre: drabble, idol!Taehyung x f!reader, friends to lovers, semi-slow burn, fluff, angst.

Warnings: Past relationship trauma, fear of imperfection, mentions of insecurity about your relationship with Tae, miscommunication.

Word Count: 4.6k

Start Reading Here!

Jungkook

Fool's Gold ||j.jk||

Description: when Jungkook’s prank goes horribly wrong, will he be able to win you back or will this be the end of you and him?

Genre: Friends to Lovers, Prankster!Jungkook x f!reader, established relationship, prank gone too far, angst, hurt/comfort, miscommunication, happy ending

Warnings: small act of violence.

Word Count: 4.4k+

Start Reading Here!

So happy to see y'all are loving the Namjoon oneshot!! Like mentioned I'm working on Unsinkable Chapter 6 and the Jin oneshot although there will be some time between these two, mainly due to the oneshot being longer than I thought it'd be. What would you like to see in the meantime? I was thinking I could a small drabble about If Walls Could Talk Tae?? Let me know what you think!

It's official! Unsinkable Chapter 6 will be up on Wednesday at 1pm EST! I will continue working on the Jin oneshot and the follow up drabble for If Walls Could Talk, see you then!

Hi!

Out of my slump, everyone thank my sis in law for talking ideas with me back and forth, for three hours, on Sunday lol.

If Walls Could Talk follow up "If" will be released by Sunday night, after that, One That I Want and Unsinkable updates and hopefully Seokjin oneshot, although I'm highly considering turning that into a short fanfic because I really like the story and would like to flesh it out more, anyway, see y'all soon!

Ps: enjoy a pic of my kitty because he's the cutest ever and I had to share

If ||k.th||

Description: Welcome to the follow up to If Walls Could Talk! We will get a bit more back story with yn and Yejun and how this is affecting her feelings for Taehyung. This follows your date with Tae and after that, although you’ve been a little hot and cold with him after and he isn’t sure why. 

Genre: drabble, idol!Taehyung x f!reader, friends to lovers, semi-slow burn, fluff, angst.

Warnings: Past relationship trauma, fear of imperfection, mentions of insecurity about your relationship with Tae, miscommunication.

Word Count: 4.6k

You were so nervous it wasn’t even funny, you were rushing to find something to wear whilst a hyped up Matty tried jumping on you and licking you, was this even a good idea? You felt like a fish out of water and you truly didn’t understand, you were fine holding his hand yesterday, for fuck’s sake you were fine giving him a kiss on the cheek and inviting him over, why were you so nervous now? It totally could be that you haven’t been on a date since your break up with Yejun, and even then you couldn’t remember the last time he took you on one. You had asked him yourself to have a date day or night and he always rejected you, especially after you got Matty; he almost seemed bored or annoyed every time you would come up to him.

“Hey, that new escape room place opened up and they have a pretty cool room I think you’d like!” you remembered one of your many requests, and the way his eyes rolled so far you were scared they would get stuck.

“Okay? Can I go back to my alone time? I have more important things to do than talk about a new escape place or whatever,” his tone was so dismissive, you felt your heart shatter a little.

After that he had started getting upset, or mad at you. At first it was valid things, like you forgetting to check his pants for his AirPods and pens, leading to him having to spend money on new pants and new headphones, you should’ve checked his pants, you really should’ve, but you were used to him emptying his pockets when he got home, it wasn’t entirely your fault, Yejun called you stupid and silly for this, he apologized a few hours later.

You were taken out of your thoughts by the ring of your alarm: take out food from the oven.

You ran, taking out the lasagna you had worked all afternoon making, you wanted this to be a nice dinner, you wanted this date to go well. You wanted you and Taehyung to go well. After carefully grabbing the glass pan and placing it on your counter to cool, you ran back to your bedroom and finally picked an outfit; you kept it simple but pretty light blue summer dress, and fuzzy colorful socks. You decided to leave your hair the way it was since it looked okay enough, and then went into the kitchen to finish setting up.

The doorbell rang

You let the rest of the silverware down softly, whilst turning towards your door, taking a deep breath to try and calm yourself down, “coming!” you raised your voice, hoping he had heard you. You ran to the bathroom one more time to double check your appearance before walking toward the door, checking the camera and seeing Taehyung’s face almost made your heart falter. He was truly so incredibly handsome; his short military haircut had grown out significantly since you had first met, and his outfit was pretty, a simple, loose fitting, green knitted sweater and simple white dressy pants, his signature brown loafers enveloping his feet.

It was now or never, you needed to open the door now or he would start getting worried, or worse, maybe he’ll think you forgot.

Like always, it felt like years to Taehyung before you opened your door, even if he knew it hadn’t been more than two minutes. He couldn’t help it though, he’d spend all night after his bath and all day today thinking about this moment, about how it would be to have a date with you. He called his Hobi hyung and Jimin for advice, they were always the members whose outfits were the talk of their fans, so who better to dress him. They both came running, with a big bag of clothes Taehyung was very familiar with.

“Aren’t these clothes from our stylist noonas? Why do you have them?” He asked, concerned as he recognized his outfit from the BTS ROOM LIVE they had done for FESTA in 2021, “this outfit is from years ago, how did you find it?”

“We texted and asked for them, did you know they keep our clothes organized by month and year we wear them?” His soulmate stated as he hugged Taehyung.

“It puts me a bit at ease if I’m being honest, I’d hate for there to be no system,” Hoseok said, as he looked at the outfit Taehyung had grabbed. “I told you he’d go for that one, everyone loved him in that sweater,” He nudged Jimin’s shoulder.

Taehyung got himself ready, deciding to ultimately keep the sweater but change the pants to similar ones he already owned. His friends left by the time he had to knock on your door.

“You look beautiful,” he said once you opened the door, and he just knew he had the goofiest of grins on his face, which grew wider when he saw you smile, the slight tint on your cheeks not going unnoticed by him.

“Thank you,” you both stared at each other for a little while, both silently admiring the other until Matty’s bark got your attention, “come on in, you can take a seat anywhere you’d like,” you stepped aside, Taehyung gave you a small bow and walked in, taking off his shoes and placing them in the small shelves you had by your door. You walked off to your kitchen and Taehyung took a look around your apartment, it looked emptier than the last time he’d been here a few weeks back.

Yejun must’ve been here to pick up his stuff.

It looked like you had moved a few things around, to adjust to the extra space, it looked good, very much your style rather than two styles combined. He finally decided to sit at one of the stools by your kitchen island, it’d save moving around since he assumed you would eat here. “I like what you’ve done with the place! It looks great,” he smiled at you as he watched you pour something into a wine cup, “thank you! And don’t worry about this it’s alcohol free cider,” you smiled whilst sliding the cup toward him.

You started serving dinner to ensure the lasagna wouldn’t be too cold that you’d have to reheat it later, you wouldn’t have mind it if it was just you, but since you had Taehyung there the last thing you wanted was to give him a plate of cold lasagna. “This looks and smells amazing!” He said, waiting for you to sit down to start eating.

“Thank you, I wanted to make sure it was good for you, I’m sure you’re used to quality food,” you stated shyly, as you finally took a seat and started cutting into your food. 

“Well, I’m sure we’ll both like it! And anything you make will be great,” he cut into his food as well, and brought a big piece into his mouth, you looked at him nervously, and held the piece you had cut just shy of your mouth whilst you watched him chew, his eyes widened and he let out a delectable low moan that sent shiver down your spine, and if it weren’t for the cute way he was chewing, you would probably be hot and bothered just from that.

“This is amazing Ynie, when you meet my members you HAVE to make this, they’ll all love it!”

His words made you blush; he was so sweet and kind and encouraging, it truly hit you now what was happening. You had talked about it with your therapist, about you and Taehyung — although you hadn’t mentioned his full name, just because he had told you all about people they trusted running their mouths with information before — how you were scared of how he treated you because that was how Yejun treated you at first, you were scared that there was a catch, especially with him being such a public figure.

“Well, these are completely valid feelings for you to have, especially given the kind of relationship you are coming from,” she validated you, “but, you have to try and not let your previous experiences shape the way you see every single relationship you have moving forward, yes be careful and be vigilant of the red flags, but use what you know to determine whether or not it is worth pursuing.”

Taehyung had offered to clean your dishes, it was something sweet that you hadn’t experienced the last few months, mainly because you usually ate alone even though you were with someone, your current topic of conversation was you telling him all about growing up in your home country, all the different foods you got to have and how he should definitely try some of them one day. “Maybe you could show me how to make them!” he sounded excited, “is there any Korean food you haven’t gotten to try since being here?” he asked you, trying to further the conversation as he placed the last dish onto the drying rack.

“Umm, well, I’ve tried pretty much everything but Korean corn dogs, I’ve been dying to have one but I just haven’t gotten around to it,” you explained, and he seemed slightly shocked. “Oh I’m definitely taking you to my favorite street food cart, the lady that works there loves me,” he stated proudly as he walked back toward you. He stood rather than sat, one arm was on the counter while the other held the back of the stool, keeping you close in a way that made your heartbeat accelerate.

“Everyone does Tae, if anyone doesn’t like you that’d be the biggest red flag,” you giggled, doing your best to keep your eyes on his and not on his pretty pink lips.

“Do you?” he asked, his face getting a little closer, making obvious that his eyes were going back and forth between your lips and your eyes.

You really wanted to say yes, out loud, but words seemed to fail you, and all you could do was give him a short peck. Taehyung felt like he was soaring after, he wondered if he jumped out of the window if he would fly? He probably wouldn’t, but he could dream. Just as quick as you had kissed him you moved away, walking toward your living room, and to say he was slightly confused was an understatement.

“I’m sorry, did I make you uncomfortable? I can leave if this was too soon or anything…” he rambled on as he followed you, suddenly feeling stupid.

You stopped and faced him, he could tell you had a mental battle going on inside your head from the way you stared at him, he wanted to know so badly what was wrong, what he did and how he could make it better, how he could do right by you. 

“I'm sorry Tae, I really want…” you took a deep breath, your eyes looked so “I had a really great time today, I just need some space, I want things to go right.” 

Taehyung nodded, turning on his heel to head toward your door.

“Just…text me whenever you want to talk about this okay? No pressure!” he smiled, he hoped it came off as sincere as he wanted it to, you nodded and walked to the door to say goodbye, not wanting him to think that he did something wrong, you wrapped your arms around his torso and buried your head in his chest, he hugged you back tightly, leaving a small kiss on your hair.

I really want to try things with you.

Those were the words you had wanted to say.

Taehyung decided he would let you be the first to reach out, all within reason of course, if more than a week passed and he hadn't heard from you he would definitely reach out and make sure you were good.

He wondered why your flirtatious mood you'd held the day before and all night last night had changed so drastically, so suddenly. He tried his best not to blame himself but he couldn't help but feel like he'd been moving too fast, especially since you'd been through a break up a month or so ago. He decided to follow your emotional cues and just go slow.

It had taken you a few days at first but he did end up receiving a text from you, which he'd been overly excited about, much to his own embarrassment. It was simple, an apology for your behavior and for seeming rude, Taehyung wasted no time in shutting down any insecurity you may feel.

You had every right to act that way!

I should be apologizing for being so forward.

You didn't respond for a little while, he figured you were with a student right now so he didn't worry too much, you'd answer when you were able. He went about most of his day unfazed, just having fun with his brothers. He was watching Hoseok rehearse when his phone dinged with a new text from you.

“Oh how quickly you abandon me Taehyung-ah” his hyung dramatically placed his hand on his forehead, causing the younger to cackle and roll his eyes, Hobi was something else.

I know, I just…

I don't want you to think I don't like you or that you inconvenienced me anyway.

You didn't Ynie, I promise, you've been going through a lot :) 

How about we take it slow, just talking in the hallway like we do and if you ever feel up to another date, you can ask me and that way you don't have to feel pressure to say yes :)

He bit his lip as he waited for your response, he noticed Hobi had sat down next to him and had read Taehyung’s last text. “I'm proud of you Tae,” was all he said, and it made Taehyung’s chest fill with happiness. He wanted to do right by his brothers, by his family, by his grandmother, by you. He smiled brightly at his hyung before looking back down at his phone, seeing you were typing; the text bubble appeared and his smile got bigger if that was possible.

I can do that :)

Would we still be on for our jam sessions?

“Jam sessions? So that’s why your playlist has expanded so much!”

“Yeah, she's got some all over the place taste,” Taehyung chuckled, looking down at the small device again, a simple for sure! Being all that was needed.

You went back to your old routine after that, catching Taehyung in the mornings before work, sometimes he'd join you for a morning run if it was dark enough, or sometimes you would just talk for a good 20 minutes before he had to go.

He really had been so patient with you, it had been three months since your first date, although you hoped to get a redo where you wouldn't reject Taehyung the way you had done that night. You tried to express this through the songs you'd play whilst bathing every night, you weren't sure if he took a bath every night or not, but you were determined for him to hear at least some of them. Your taste in music was very western heavy, and you had a knack for nostalgia so you often played older songs, from bands you liked when you were a teen, the two you played most often were R5 and 5SOS.

You were taken out of your thoughts by your alarm, letting you know to take out Matty's birthday cake, today was his first birthday, you'd been tempted to invite Taehyung and Tannie over, but you felt you still needed a little more time, so you resorted to celebrating your dog by yourself, cutting the cake — which ended up being WAY bigger than what you had expected — in a nice half. You placed Matty's piece down once you took out the candle and replaced it with a treat, setting inside of the spare room of your apartment which had become Matty's room, and then put the other half on a plate to take to Tae's apartment for Tannie.

Once you left your apartment and made the quick trip to Tae's door, you placed the plate down with a little note, rang the doorbell and went back to your home, you hadn't closes the baby gate at Matty's door and the last thing you needed was for him to make a cakey mess on your floors.

When Taehyung came out to his door you had just clicked yours shut, it didn't take him long to realize the cake was from you, he took it into his apartment and quickly shut the door, calling his small pomeranian over as he read your note.

Thank you for being so patient with me, I wanted to know if you were wanting to go out for a Korean corn dog and some karaoke? Let me know when you return the plate :D I hope Tannie enjoys his piece of Matty’s birthday cake!

There was simply no way of denying it anymore, Taehyung was so down bad for you it was getting embarrassing. Also, it was Matty's birthday today?! He decided he would go get a gift for your puppy tomorrow, that way he could return the plate and give you something else so his visit wouldn't be so short.

Okay, maybe Taehyung had gone a little overboard, he only meant to buy Matty a small bag of toys and a treat, it wasn't in his plan to get a medium size basket full of goodies for your puppy. He quickly went into his home to grab your plate, and then stepped right back outside, making sure to close the door before Tannie could follow him.

He was a bit nervous, especially because work had gone a little long, so it was just shy of five past eight and the last thing he wanted was to wake you up if you were asleep. Thankfully, you opened your door within a few minutes, you smiled softly at Taehyung and the look in your eyes made him want to bring you your own little mikrokosmos. It didn't take long for you to notice the big basket full of toys, treats and other goodies.

“What's with the basket Tae?” She giggled, to say she looked puzzled was an understatement. “Well seeing that it was Matty’s birthday and I missed it I figured I’d get him a few things,” he tried his best to sound like his Yoongi hyung when he gifted someone something, even tried to look away whilst she grabbed it, but he just couldn’t bring himself to do it, he loved seeing the way your eyes brighten at all the toys, he could tell you were happy, “I hope Matty will like them.”

“He’ll love them!”

“Also here’s the plate back,” he handed it to you once you had placed the basket inside your apartment, “thank you,” you smiled softly. You stared at each other for a bit, you were nervously fidgeting with your fingers, wondering if he would leave it at that, if he’d gotten bored of you and everything would be just like last time, and Taehyung would refuse to take her anywhere and then he would find someone else and leave her and-

“When did you wanna go get those corn dogs?” You were a bit embarrassed at how shocked you probably looked, you had to close your mouth and compose yourself quickly, “umm, how’s tomorrow?” you asked with a big toothy grin.

Oh yeah, you were both SO down bad.

“That works, pick you up at eight?” You nodded profusely, causing Taehyung to chuckle, “see you then Ynie.”

“See you then, Tae,” you smiled, closing your door. Taehyung felt like the first time you had a date, he didn’t care if you saw him or heard him as he cheered loudly.

Taehyung wanted to be comfy that next night, it was going to be a bit chillier so he opted for a pair of washed out baggy jeans, a white random print shirt, and a thicker green jacket with beat up sneakers. He wanted to look good for you, he wanted you to find him handsome, because no matter how often he got told how beautiful he was, it was always nice to still dress to impress. He walked out of his home and toward your door; he rang your doorbell and waited. He wondered what songs you would choose to sing today, whether or not it would have a double meaning, or if it would be just a normal random song. You looked beautiful when you came out of your apartment, you had retro bell-bottom black pants, a sweater, and what looked like comfy sneakers. You were wearing your natural hair and really pretty make up that accentuates your face features. Okay, now he was definitely staring. “Ready to go?” he offered you his arm, and you happily took it as you nodded, ready for the night ahead of you.

Taehyung was so impressed by you, this whole night made him actually think he was falling for you. You had eaten TWO whole corn dogs, and if it wasn’t because your slot for karaoke was booked ahead of time you would’ve probably had more, which he didn’t blame you for, corn dogs are something truly addictive. You made it to the karaoke venue, where you were led to the room you would have for the night, you were brought a bottle of soju and two small cups, and the device to pick a song.

You insisted that Taehyung go first, despite his insistence of having you go first because it’s the gentlemanly thing to do, you enjoyed watching him sing, his sultry baritone voice sent shivers down your spine, and to say it made you feel some type of way… that would totally be an understatement. He sang one of his songs, and then he sang one of his members songs. You think he’d told you it was his Seokjin hyung who sung it.

When I’m with you, there is no one else, I get heaven to myself.

You’d heard it before on the radio, but you didn’t know that it was one of their songs until now. Taehyung had changed a few lyrics to avoid saying “I love you,” he didn’t want to scare you off, and it was still very early stages; saying I love you was not necessary right at this moment and you didn’t need to know unless you looked it up later.

Your turn came up, and now it was time to put your plan in action. You had a specific song you had wanted to sing, and you had booked the room in this particular venue because they had it on their list. You were incredibly nervous, growing up you had always been the kid who wouldn’t stop singing, even if you were untrained, but you got stage fright fairly easily and most of the time you’d have to perform facing away from the audience, mostly your family, so you hoped that wouldn’t happen now, especially because you had sang for Taehyung before, even if you didn’t mean to, and even if there was a wall between you, you knew he was there so hopefully that would help your fears.

The notes started playing and Taehyung watched you intently, fascinated by your voice and the song lyrics, which spoke of social media stalking, accidental liking of old posts, and the sweetness of your lover. And then, Taehyung heard the chorus.

Tell me if you could love me, make me somebody, if you could love me do.

Taehyung wanted to kick himself, if he had known you were going to be throwing out love in your songs he would’ve done the same for his songs. You danced around as you kept singing, he pulled the small machine over and saw you were singing If by R5, he’d have to add it to the playlist he’d been building since your first jamming session.

Will you take all my feelings, angels and demons, if you could love me do, I could be with you.

As the final notes rang out of the speakers, you looked down, thankful for the dark atmosphere of the room, given that it hid the tint in your cheeks perfectly. Taehyung just stared, his eyes full of endearment, you had done amazing.

“That night at my apartment, I got scared because my breakup was fresh, and I was scared that all the green flags I saw in you would turn into red flags,” you explained, “I like you, matter of fact I’m sure I’m falling for you, but I was scared of committing to something new and have it end in the same situation as before.”

Taehyung was shocked at your confession, but he couldn’t be offended, based on the little he’d overheard and what you had told him, you had every right to be scared of something new coming into your life, he couldn’t blame for having doubts, which is exactly why he’d offered you space, he didn’t want to impose his feelings for you and make you feel like you HAD to be with him, he wanted you to feel confident in yourself and him.

“I understand Ynie, you don’t have to explain yourself,” he stood up and walked toward you, he stopped once he was at a reasonable distance, not too close, not too far.

“Yeah but I want to, I shouldn’t have kicked you out so suddenly without telling you that you did nothing wrong, I should’ve-” 

“That doesn’t matter now, I knew you were having a hard time, I could see it after you kissed me, that’s why I left without a fight, I didn’t want you to feel uncomfortable or forced to stay in a situation you didn’t want to be in,” he walked a little closer, slowly lifting his hand and cupping your cheek, he waited to see your response, and was pleased to see that you leaned into his touch, prompting him to rub your cheek with his thumb. “You deserve the world Ynie, I’ll take… How'd the song go again? Your angels and demons, I could and would love you and I want to be with you.”

You felt tears welling up in your eyes, “thank you for being the most amazing person Tae,” you sniffled and he quickly wiped the tear that had escaped the corner of your eye, your faces you were mere millimeters apart, your noses touched and your breaths mingled, “anything you for you… may I give you a pet name?” you nodded, he smiled, “anything for you yeobo,” he closed the distance between you trapping your lips with his in a searing kiss that had you feeling warm and fuzzy all over. Maybe things will be different this time, if things went well, you could see yourself having a long life with Taehyung.

Tag List:

@un06 :)

Just wrote down something for a new Taehyung fic that'll I'll work on once I'm done with everything else, I'm so excited for it!!!

nip it in the bud (m) – kth

➻ female reader x taehyung

➻ going to get a piercing au/completing bucket list au + my brother’s best friend au + tattoo artist!taehyung

➻ genres: smut, romance

➻ length & status: 10k words; complete

➻ rating & warnings: 18+; taehyung has tattoos and piercings, he and his big hands are illegal, tae’s oral fixation is entirely out of control, nipple sucking/breast play, semi-public sex (? idk tbh), the pussy eating he does is sloppy and gross, squirting, nasty/messy sex, unprotected sex (wear a condom and be safe kids OR ELSE), riding, creampie, pussy stuffing cuz tae has a big dick (I don’t think you understand it’s GIGANTIC), multiple orgasms

➻ summary: You’re not sure how you ended up here, but maybe a shitty ex and a horrible breakup had a hand in what placed you in front of the tattoo parlor. It was already a nerve-wracking experience, but what you never expected was seeing that the owner and artist giving you nipple piercings was your older brother’s best friend you hadn’t seen in ages. to make things even worse, he got fucking hotter.

➻ a/n: this was born out of a TikTok where I learned that tattoo artists have to make sure your nipples are hard before piercing them and then I yelled at @jamaisjoons, having an existential crisis about how hot that was. She is the one who told me to write about it 😌 and the reason the fic exists. The last time I got piercings was idk 16 years ago (yes I was 7 🥴). I also have zero tattoos so my knowledge of this is minimal I just wanted to write hot Taehyung sex. Hope y’all enjoy this mess regardless. beta-read by @taegularities @hantaev & @chateautae​ (she helped with the summary too🤩) my favorite tae accounts who have encouraged me so much during this arduous writing process! beta-read and banner made by @softestmuse! You all were there for me for so much during this whole thing and helped so much 🥺

⋆ my masterlist ⋆

Keep reading

love (and all of its complications) | kth

— pairing: photography student!tae x reader

— genre: fluff, angst (a bit) | college au

— word count: 3.1k

— warnings: insecurities, self-deprecating thoughts, (most likely) inaccurate use of photography terms, the nickname love, brief mention of min yoonji (haha)

— summary: when you think you're not worth loving, he lists all the reason why you are.

— author's note: this is a request from a friend based on the song best part of me by ed sheeran (ft. yebba)! so its a bit oc-centric. if you're having similar thoughts to oc, i hope tae's words can become a source of comfort for you :) enjoy!

masterlist

The first thing you notice upon waking up from slumber is the weight of your boyfriend’s head on your chest, his fluffy hair tickling your chin. As much as you like having him close like this, the position makes it hard for you to breathe, so you shift your body a little to give your lungs the oxygen they deserve. Your movement triggers that of his as well, his arm tightening around your waist and his leg around your legs, making you sigh in defeat.

A glance at the wall clock tells you that it’s still way too early for him to wake up, so you decide to give him those extra hours of sleep you know he will appreciate later. Your hand settles on his hair, fingers running through the strands once before you angle your head to give him a kiss on the top of his head. He stirs a bit but doesn’t wake up, instead he snuggles closer to your body like you’re his personal body pillow.

When your hand catches on his t-shirt while rubbing his back, the black color of the fabric reminds you that your boyfriend had gone straight to bed last night in the same clothes he had been wearing all night. Any protests you put up fell on deaf ears as he whined for you to get into bed with him, claiming he was too exhausted to wash up. Between his big puppy eyes and pouting lips, you couldn’t find it in you to deny him of your hold, allowing him to pull you onto the mattress and into dreamland.

Last night was the opening night of Taehyung’s photography exhibition, so you understand the state of exhaustion he’s in. You’ve witnessed first-hand how stressed he was preparing for this event, from the initial proposal to choosing the photos to display and arranging them in the exhibition venue according to his vision. It was filled with countless sleepless nights and too many cups of coffee you started to worry about his wellbeing, something you told him often. Despite his reassurance that he would be fine, you still found yourself biting your lip in worry every time he looked even the slightest bit tired.

Last night, he proved to you that all of those sleepless nights and bitter coffees are worth it as he proudly hosted the opening night of his own exhibition that has been his dream for so long. You had watched as the sparks never left his eyes for the entirety of the night, even though he had to be on his feet for hours and talk non-stop to the guests. You watched with admiration in your eyes every time he explained the meaning behind the photos on display, feeling pride swell in your heart when you see that people were as mesmerized as you were listening to him talk about his art.

You had let yourself wander around the exhibition without him, letting him be the star of the show on his own. It was fascinating to see the exhibition in its finished form when you’ve only seen parts of the building process, seeing the bits you recognize and how it came to life with the things added around them. It was also different seeing the photos finally lined up according to the story that Taehyung wants to tell, the message he wants to convey. Through the various colors and techniques, he bares his mind to everyone and hopes that it was enough to be understood.

You’ve always admired Taehyung’s photography skills. The way he captures mundane things and makes them appear extraordinary in his shots never fails to evoke emotions out of you, sometimes even making you believe that the world is as beautiful as it is behind his camera lens. Often you wonder if that’s how he sees the world — through a rose-colored glass, void of the black-colored stains that’s always lurking in the corner.

You found the answer last night, when he was talking to his photography club friends about the general theme of his exhibition. It’s not exactly looking at the world through a rose-colored glass — or lens, in his case — but just to show people than you can find beauty even in the tiniest nook and cranny of places you never thought to be beautiful. You thought it’s an endearing concept, but one of his friends argued that the narrative seems too idealistic in the way it sugarcoats the harsh realities of the world. They had launched into a discussion of this topic with different opinions from each one of Taehyung’s friends, giving their own input as to why this is damaging or healing.

The discussion was intense and at some point even they made you voice your thoughts on the matter as someone who doesn’t see the world through a lens like the rest of them. Your answer, of course, made them groan because it aligns with your boyfriend’s opinion, giving the impression that you were just saying things to support him even though it was your honest thoughts on the topic. Taehyung had given you a huge grin before squeezing you in a side-hug, relaying his gratitude silently. The conversation continued in a good-manered banter, soon after shifting to the techniques used in Taehyung’s photographs.

The words being thrown around sounded so foreign to you, who was only able to recognize the terms composition and exposure. Something about positioning, lighting, coloring, editing.. you tuned them out after a while. Despite so, you didn’t miss the way Taehyung talked animatedly about his craft, responding to each and every query from his friends with enthusiasm. It was clear from the discussion that everyone in the club is really passionate about this, about the things they want to tell through photographs, about the message each of them carries in every frame they capture.

Sometimes you wonder how it feels to be that passionate about something.

You have your own interests and hobbies, of course, ones you even think are your passion in life that you’d continue doing for the rest of your life. You spend weeks, months, years to perfect your own art until you’re confident that you have put out the best results and can proudly present them to the world. Surely, this is your passion, your life calling, you’re meant to do this for as long as you live. For a moment, you truly believed that.

Soon after, reality turns bleak as you come to a realization that your best does not even come close to someone else’s worst. Every corner you turn, there’s always someone with more things to offer; more appeal, more elegance, more eloquence. Your best result, the one you created with all the effort you could muster, paled in comparison to them. Hell, it was annihilated, utterly destroyed without a trace left. You’d watched your dreams crash and burn, taking your confidence with them.

Striped off your art, your passion, you’re left with a gaping hole of what else? What else do you have to offer to the world? What else do you have in you that’s worth showing off? What else can you do to prove your worth? What else can you do if not this?

Those questions play themselves in an endless loop inside your head, plaguing your mind day in, day out. There are times when they’re not as loud, only serving as background noise while you go through your day, but you find there are more times that they are roaring in your ears like thunder prior to a storm. They get worse whenever you see people talking about what they do with so much fervor, the fire in their eyes reflecting in your empty ones. Your fire was long gone even before it was able to be ablaze.

Often times, it makes you wonder whether you’ll ever be good enough without a passion.

“Honey? Sweetheart?”

Your boyfriend’s voice brings you out of your thoughts. It sounds even deeper than normal, indicating that he just woke up. When you look down, though, his eyes are wide open and there’s concern in them, like he can hear the thunder that rumbled in your head moments prior. You hope not. It’s too early for him to be worried.

“Are you okay?” Uh, oh. “I called you like, five times before this. Thought you were still asleep, but you’re awake..” Taehyung turns in your hold, holding himself up using his right arm. The worry in his eyes doesn’t cease, and you hate to be the cause of it.

“I’m fine, Tae, why wouldn’t I be?” You press your lips into a faint smile, hoping he would just chalk it up to you being tired from the event last night. His left hand comes up to your cheek and you lean into the touch, unconsciously releasing a small sigh.

“You had that faraway look that you do whenever you’re thinking about something,” Taehyung says, his gaze analyzing your expression. “And this time, it’s paired with a frown,” he continues, the pad of his thumb lightly brushing over the corner of your lips which you try really hard to keep upturned. “You’re not fine, love.”

Another sigh escapes your lips as you close your eyes, hating the fact that your boyfriend knows you like the back of his hand.

“Yeah, it’s just..” How do you downplay this so he doesn’t get more worried? “..morning woes,” you settle. That should be enough. “Don’t worry about it, Tae.”

Your hand reaches for his head so you can go back to running your fingers through his hair like you were doing before he woke up, but he’s having none of it as he pushes himself to a sitting position, ridding you of his body warmth. “You saying that is the reason why I have to worry,” he counters. “Is it one of my friends? Or the guest? Did anyone make you uncomfortable last night?”

“No, no, nothing like that,” you rush to correct his assumptions. Although it is true that your spiraling thoughts started because of his friends, it’s not for the reason he’s thinking of. “It’s just me thinking too much, Tae, it’s okay,” you try to reassure him once again.

“About what?” Taehyung asks, eyes never leaving yours. You wish he’d turn his gaze somewhere else, because you’re not sure the clouds behind your irises can be hidden for much longer. You’d hate to taint this important moment for him with your clouds, dark and rumbling in your mind.

Apparently you’re silent for too long that he deems you’re back in your head again. “Hey, it’s okay.. you can tell me,” he whispers, thumb stroking your cheek gently. His eyes have gone softer now, no longer staring at you with concern swimming in his orbs. You should be relieved, happy that he’s not worried anymore, but somehow the emotion replacing that worry makes your heart tighten in your chest.

Love.

He’s staring at you with love. Gentle and quiet, like he’s saying it doesn’t matter what you have in your mind, doesn’t matter how dark the clouds are, doesn’t matter how much the storm is raging, he will always find your hand to hold and pull you out into the light. He will always love you, whether your head is filled with a ray of sunshine or a raging storm.

“Do you love me?” You say quietly. It’s almost rethorical, with the way his gaze has your answer even before you voice out the question.

“Yes, of course I love you.” It doesn’t even take a second for him to answer. “Is this what you were thinking about? Whether I love you or not?” Taehyung sounds genuinely surprised, maybe because it never occurred to him to doubt his love for you.

Instead of responding to his question, you put your arms around his shoulders and pull him down for a hug. It’s an uncomfortable position and his arms are bent at an awkward angle, but you don’t care. You need to let this man know that you’ve never doubted his love for you either, only the reason behind it and whether you deserve it or not.

“Love, will you tell me what’s going on?” Taehyung’s voice is muffled against your shoulder. You blink back tears that are threatening to spill out as you hide your face in the crook of his neck.

“Why do you love me, Tae?”

The whispered question makes him pull away from the hug to get a look at your expression. You lost your hiding place and have no choice but to let him see you in this state; glassy, red-rimmed eyes, vulnerable. Taehyung’s eyebrows slope downwards and he looks like he’s something between angry and upset. It occurs to you that the single sentence you let out could have been interpreted in so many different ways, so you rush to explain yourself.

“It’s not that — that I don’t believe that you love me. It’s just..” you take a deep breath and release it in a shaky sigh. “Why are you in love with me? I’m not as pretty as your other friends, I’m not talented, not even that smart. Heck, I quit doing my art because I wasn’t good enough at the thing I claimed to be my passion. I don’t have anything about me to be proud of, to be worthy of being loved. Why are you still with me? You could have anyone else that has so much more to offer than me..”

By the end of your explanation, tears have flown freely down your cheeks. It seems silly to be crying even before noon, but the demons inside your head don’t look at the time when they summon storms. You just wish Taehyung didn’t have to see this. He doesn’t deserve this version of you when he has given you nothing but his best.

“I’m still with you because you make me happy,” Taehyung says. He pulls you up into a sitting position before cupping your cheeks in his huge hands, thumbs brushing away your tears. He doesn’t stop even when they continue flowing out of your eyes.

“I’m still with you because you make me laugh with your one-liners, because you laugh at my jokes. I’m with you because you call my photos beautiful even when I think they’re not. I’m with you because you don’t get mad at me whenever I burn food and instead offer to clean up with me. I’m with you because you push me to be the best version of myself even without realizing it.

“You’re beautiful, talented, and smart, love. Even when you choose not to believe it yourself. You’re courageous, too, for deciding to quit when you felt it was too much for you. Many people might not agree with me, but it takes great courage and strength to be able to quit from something you’ve been doing for so long with so much effort. It’s okay if you don’t have something to be passionate about right now, I will be here for you until you find a new one, or maybe get back to the one you left.”

Taehyung smiles, and your sobs get uglier.

“I love you for all the reasons you think you don’t deserve to be loved for, so you can quit worrying about it, okay?”

You sob loudly and he chuckles, endeared, as he pulls you back into his arms. His hands rub soothingly down your back, letting you cry on his shoulder without any complaints. Pressing his cheek against the top of your head, he releases a relieved sigh with a small smile.

“You know, it’s a wonder as well that you love me,” Taehyung laughs quietly. “I can’t cook, I’m terribly messy, and when I work on my project I ignore you for days. Do you remember the twenty missed calls you left because I fell asleep in the studio when preparing for the exhibition?”

You sniff and chuckle, your voice sounding funny when you talk because of your blocked nose. “That’s because you’re passionate. You just worried me when you didn’t pick up your phone, thought you were dead from exhaustion.” You clear your throat to get rid of the scratchiness of your voice. “Also I don’t mind that you can’t cook, as long as you stay updated on delivery places so we have something different to eat every day.”

“You don’t mind that I can’t cook because you can’t cook either, love.”

“Yeah, that too.”

Taehyung lets out another chuckle as he squeezes your form, peppering your head with kisses. You both stay like that for a while, enjoying each other’s body warmth. It allows you to settle the storm inside your head, now only a pitter-patter against the window in your mind. Soon, it’ll be filled with sunshine again. You believe it will.

“Can I ask you about something?” Taehyung says after minute of being silent. You hum your affirmation, allowing him to continue. “What triggered you? To think about all of that this early in the morning?”

“It’s almost eleven, Tae, not early at all,” you muse, ignoring the first part of his question. You let out a sigh when he gives no response to your joke. “Just.. meeting your friends last night. They’re fine, I swear! But the way you guys were talking about the exhibition, about photography in general.. it made me realize how passionate you all are and made me wonder why I can’t be that passionate towards something as well. Yeah, there you go.”

“Oh, love..” Taehyung sighs.

“Also, your friends are really pretty and talented, I couldn’t help but feel insecure, you know?” You add, tone light and playful to let your boyfriend know that you’re okay now. Even if there’s some truth to your words. “Who’s the one who has dark blue hair? I saw the shot she showed you on her phone, it was really beautiful and stuck with me the most.”

“Oh, that’s Min Yoonji. If you remember Yoongi from the club last year, she’s his twin. Yoongi couldn’t come last night so he sent her in his stead,” Taehyung explains. “You don’t have to be insecure, though. Yoonji might be pretty and talented, but she’s not you.”

You snort out a shy laugh. “Alright, I get it. Ease up on the flirting, will you?”

“Hey, I’m serious!” He laughs and it’s so contagious you find yourself laughing out loud as well. “Really, though, love. Okay?”

“Hmm,” you respond. Then, “I love you, Tae.”

“I love you too,” he replies. “Now can we get breakfast? Brunch? I’m starving.”

And as you laugh again, you think you’ll be fine. You think the storms will calm down into a drizzle, and the drizzle will soon let up to allow a ray of sunshine to pass through the clouds. There might even be a rainbow adorning the sky of your mind, and it will look picture-perfect just like how Taehyung captures the world in his lens.

You’ll be fine.

— a/n: thanks for reading! tell me your thoughts here :)

You fumble with the buttons on the video camera, pressing the record button until the red dot blinks, indicating that the device is now saving whatever scene that’s on the lens into the memory card. Your hold is shaky, but you manage to lift the thing until it’s eye-level with you.

“Tae,” you call, pouting when he offers you a non-committal hum as a reply.

“Taeeee,” you whine out, the footage in the camera blurs for a second because one of your hand lets go of it in favor of shoving the boy on the shoulder to get him to look at you.

“What?” he finally says, head turned to you slightly as he gives you a side glance. It kinds of look intimidating, and you almost coward away behind the device in your hand.

“Look here,” you say, gesturing to the camera, and he does.

Taehyung stares at the lens with so much intensity in his eyes you could feel yourself blush, even though he’s not directly staring at you. You kinda regret asking him to look at the lens now.

“Don’t— God, Tae! Soften your gaze! It looks like you’re going to murder someone,” you let out, trying to distract Taehyung (and yourself) from the fact that a mere stare can make your face warm and red, akin to embers dying out from a flame.

“Sorry, I’m not in love with this thing.” He taps the camera in your hand, shaking the image in the screen once again. “My soft gaze is only for you,” he continues, giving you a wink before a hint of a smirk appears on the corner of his lips.

You roll your eyes despite your warming cheeks, stopping the recording and turning the camera off.

“Couldn’t you be any cheesier?” Sarcasm is used, Taehyung doesn’t need to know how much his words earlier affected you.

He shrugs. “You love it.”

Love it, love him.

That, you do.

february 17th, 2019

masterlist | secreto

A night in a foreign city doesn’t really feel complete without the walk through its streets under the expanse of black, vast sky. You spend your time leisurely, enjoying the way the night breeze blow past your cheeks, weaving through your hair in pleasant waves.

The air is nice, just the right temperature between cold and warm that makes you snug in your grey hoodie. The lights from streetlamps and buildings alike dot your vision, coloring it in a soft glow of muted gold that swirls around in the chocolate of your irises.

Despite all the pleasant things around you, you can’t help but feel the way someone is boring a hole into the small of your back with a piercing stare, making the bounce in your step falter slightly as you try to ignore the gnawing feeling in your heart.

“Tae,” you whisper, “you don’t have to walk behind me like that.”

The boy looks up, eyes wide and round. They are usually warm and rich with emotions, happiness radiating from his gaze alone. But this time, they’re as blank as a piece of white paper.

“Sorry,” he mumbles, before getting into the same pace as you. Your shoulder brushes against his bicep occasionally—because you’re significantly shorter than him—and it saddens you how he used to take your hands when you’re both this close but he doesn’t anymore.

The two of you walk in silence, the only sound heard from both your shoes hitting the sidewalk with every step you take along with the sound of cars passing by beside you on the main road. It saddens you, because the night feels lonely without the rich timbre of his laugh.

It saddens you, how you and Taehyung are no longer the same person you both were. Your paths don’t lead to the same place, and it hurts to know that no matter the effort, it won’t work.

You and him will never be.

“Hey.” Taehyung’s call can be easily passed as a hum, that low baritone of his playing more part than the articulation of said word.

You look up at him, and find his eyes fixated on the big, bright, grand bridge in the distance.

It lights up really brightly, like that giant christmas tree in the middle of the city hall you both went to years ago. Now it seems like a distant memory that doesn’t even belong to you.

“Yeah?” you say, in reply to his hey earlier.

Taehyung doesn’t respond, instead fishing his phone from the depth of his coat pocket, positioning it in front of his eyes with the camera app open. He snaps a picture, and even though a mere phone camera doesn’t do the structure justice, he still smiles at the result.

He tilts his head slightly at the direction of the bridge, signalling for you to stand in front of his phone camera lens so he can get you in the picture too. A protest is ready to tumble out of your lips, but something in his eyes makes you swallow it back down.

You move to fit yourself into the frame, plastering a close-mouthed smile on your lips to match the mood you both somehow have set over the night.

Your hand instinctively reaches out to take his phone to take turns snapping pictures, but Taehyung pockets the phone back.

“Use yours.”

Taehyung switches position with you, and when you get the phone to your eye level, your heart clenches at the sight before you.

It’s Taehyung, but it’s not. He’s wearing a cheeky grin, boxy corners of his lips tugged to make an adorable smile. His eyes, previously blank, now are filled with joy, one you cannot relate to because you know him like the back of your hand and you know it’s all faux happiness and you know tears are threatening the back of his eyes because they start to get glossy and—

You snap a single picture before your hands can shake too badly to do it, before quickly slipping your phone into the depths of your hoodie pocket without even bothering to check for the result.

Taehyung always looks good, but not with fake emotions.

“One last night,” he whispers brokenly when he’s beside you again, “pretend everything is how it’s used to be. Pretend we’re the same people we started with, daring and happy and in love. Pretend that you still love me, and I still love you, and we deserve each other, just like we believed we did.

“Just for tonight.. pretend that everything is okay.”

A night in a foreign city feels really hollow as you walk beside a boy with whom you have too many memories, playing pretend with feelings that have faded away.

It’s okay, he said one last night, right?

february 19th, 2019

masterlist | secreto