But I'm Sorry - Tumblr Posts

𝑁𝑂𝑊 𝐼 𝐹𝐸𝐸𝐿 𝐴𝐵𝑆𝑂𝐿𝑈𝑇𝐸𝐿𝑌 𝑆𝐻𝐴𝑀𝐸𝐿𝐸𝑆𝑆 𝐹𝑂𝑅 𝑃𝐼𝐶𝐾𝐼𝑁𝐺 𝑆𝑌𝐿𝑈𝑆 𝑂𝑁 𝑇𝐻𝐸 𝐴𝑃𝑃𝑂𝐼𝑁𝑇𝑀𝐸𝑁𝑇- 𝐴𝑆𝐷𝐾𝐽𝐻𝐴𝑆𝐾𝐷𝐴𝐷𝑆

ᯓᡣ𐭩 ⌞ ②① 𝑫𝓪𝔂𝓼 ⌝

⊹ ࣪ ˖ Illusio with XAVIER dressed in [Steamy] + bonus Ring [Oath of Starry Twilight] ⊹₊ ⋆

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I'm done

Hey guys, this just me venting so yeah please don't get the wrong idea that I'm trying to cry out for help or looking for attention. I'm not really, I just feel like I need to to vent a bit is all. Thanks, you don't have to read this or like this, or reblog this....read it if you want or not.

I'm done with myself. I'm tired of my failers, of my mistakes, my saddness, my anger. I'm having a bad day and I have no one but myself to blame. And really that what I've been doing, when ever I fuck up my grades, or do something wrong, or even say something wrong. I have no one to blame but myself. I don't hate my family, or my friends. Or even the life I've been giving. But that it, given.... everything been given to me and I hate myself for that. I haven't gotten anything on my own. I don't have a job. Or my own place. I'm in college sure. I live with my family of course, I gave my driver license. But no car, no money for no job. No actually I do is...what do I even do, I'm failing to classes in college. My parents are gonna have to pay for me to re take it. I feel like I'm just FUCKING Everybody over. Everybody, my family, my friends, my little siblings. My life, my body, my soul....I just feel so done with myself at times.

I hate myself because that all I can do. I have no one to blame but myself...I'm stressed, tired, a bit under the weather, just...I'm so done with myself. I'm done trying to care about myself. If I could I would walk out of my house and never come back. Maybe then my parents can finally leave each other so they can finally be happy for once. So my siblings won't have to see their big sister cry and break down like some little kid. 19 years old and my little sister 14 has to calm me down. Tell me that I'm okay when I'm not, my little brother of 8 years old asking me if I'm gonna cry then hug me.

I'm the older sibling yet...yet I'm the one getting ready to break down. And I hate that most about myself. I don't even know what I'm gonna do with my life besides going to college again, or find a damn job or go in the army maybe. I don't care anymore. I really don't, I live for my siblings, for my parents, for my friends. But I'm done caring about myself.

I really am. I'm sorry if this making you feel sorry for me, make you feel worried about me. Upsetting you in any way but that how I'm feeling right now. I'm having a bad day and this what normals happens for a bad day with me. I just stop caring for how I feel anymore. Sure I'll try live for everyone else but I'm just done trying to live for myself. At least I'll be able to take responsibility for others feels about my life. But I just can't for myself anymore. Not anymore..

Every man has his breaking point. Danny's is just a bit higher than everyone else's because he's a king and has a high tolerance for absolute bull shit. No matter how strong that bar is, though, one can only bend so far before snapping.

Unfortunately for everyone around him, Danny has reached his breaking point.

"I wish I could get drunk," he stared into his drink longingly, "Or high. But mostly drunk."

"Why do ya say that?" Billy asked, tilting his head curiously to the left.

Danny sighed, "It's a long story."

"I've got time." he shrugged.

"Are ya sure?" Danny raised an eyebrow. "You don't think any emergencies are gonna crop up? Nothing you'll need to go take care of?"

Billy backed off a little, folding into his seat. "What're you talking about? I'm just some kid on the street. I ain't going anywhere."

Danny rolled his head from side to side. "Mostly, I'm talking about the JL meeting the both of us are gonna skip out on tonight."

"What-?"

"C'mon, Captain, it won't do to talk here," he stood, picking up his coffee and waiting for Billy to do the same.

Billy's eyes narrowed as he looked Danny up and down. "I don't recognise you," he whispered, "Who are you."

Danny produced another calling card from his sleeve as he sipped his drink, holding it in front of himself but not handing it over. When Billy was looking at it, he flipped it over. The white background turned matte black, all the runes in the Ouroboros turning so white that they glowed. The DP in the very middle tinted blue, pulsing with toxic green energy, slightly cold to the touch. The edges started to frost over.

Quickly, Billy pulled the card Danny had given him before from the inner pocket of his jacket. It, too, had changed to match the one Danny held, though there was no longer a DP in the middle. Instead, it said 'Phantom' in fancy calligraphy.

"No way," the kid muttered, his expression awestruck, "Phantom? That's you? No shit?"

Danny chuckled, tucking the card away again, "No shit, kid. Don't tell anyone, though. You're the only one who knows."

"Really?" he squeaked.

"Really."

***

Having someone know his whole story was refreshing, just as he's sure Billy felt good to have someone know his, too. That didn't stop him from feeling bad about dumping it all on the poor kid.

"I still wish I could get drunk," Phantom lamented."

Constantine looked up from the book he was reading. "You can't get drunk?"

"Nope."

"How'd ya figure that one out, kid?"

"Please don't call me a kid."

That's not good. The blond marked the page before setting the book to the side. Phantom had never actually asked him to stop calling him a kid. "What's wrong?" He didn't normally do the whole 'feelings' things, but the was an exception.

Phantom sighed long and sad. He didn't look up from the carpet. "I told you they were going to ask invasive questions."

"Who was it?" It was more of a demand then a question.

"Red Robin,"

"Red- I thought you would've skipped town when we were done there? I sure as hell did."

"I know you did, but I decided to stick around for a bit. Wander, y'know? Red Robin caught up to me and would leave me alone."

Oh, oh no. Those were tears. Were they? Yeah, shit, they are! John is not equipped to handle this!

Phantom sniffled. "He asked me how I died."

Fuck.

John Constantine is not easy to anger. Sure, he gets tired, and irritated, and a whole slew of emotions, but he is very slow to anger.

Phantom, he knows, is not a child. The ghost can very much take care of himself in basically every way one could think of. He saved the world on his own, several times, when he was fourteen. He became a King and Protector when he was fourteen. He died when he was fourteen.

Right now, all he could see was the child who hadn't ever been properly laid to rest. It was hard not to call Phantom a child when he seemed so small, seeking comfort from anyone. Phantom was crying. He'd retreated to the House and locked himself in Constantine's room, only talking when he was ready to, but he'd waited to cry.

Phantom didn't like crying. Every person in the JLD knew this.

No. John Constantine is not quick to anger, but he is scary when he reaches that point. Batman might be the night and vengeance and all that shit, but John Constantine was wrathful.

He sat beside Phantom and let the ghost lean into him and cry. He didn't like dealing with feelings, but this was a child in need of comfort and he was the only one around to offer it. "Do you really want me to stop calling you 'kid'?"

A sniffle and a small head shake. "No."

"Can I ask you a question?"

"...sure."

"How old are you really? As a ghost, not as a human or a halfa. How old are you?"

"Fourteen." he mumbled, "I'll never be any older than fourteen, John," he was getting a bit hysterical now, "I'll never be any older than fourteen! I-I died and-and now I have to rule and-and people keep asking and no one believes me and-!" A sob cut him off, heavy with grief and wet with tears. He cried for hours, giving up on trying to form words. Constantine let him, ignoring the wet patches on his shirt. Eventually, Phantom's sobs died down into hiccups. "I didn't...I'm- I'm sorry."

"It's alright, mate," he meant it, really and truly.

Phantom rubbed his eyes, "I'm gonna go hide somewhere."

"Not gonna share where?"

"No, I want to be alone for a while." He paused at the door, "Whatever you're gonna do, will you leave Captain Marvel out of it?"

Odd request, but, "Alright," he nodded, "I'll talk to the others." And by 'talk', he means lecture. There are boundaries that one shouldn't cross, and not asking the dead how they died should've been obvious! With his League issued communicator, John called an emergency meeting in one hour, required attendance, barring Captain Marvel. First things first, though, he needed to talk to Deadman.

Part 7 Storyboard

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