But Just - Tumblr Posts

Update again: finished bbh's vod, and honestly....I didn't like how dream and sapnap were treating bad like he was a weight on the team. It just felt off. Maybe that's because I don't usually watch competitive mcc players, but I didn't particularly enjoy it that much. I feel like dream and sapnap definitely have an inflated ego by "being the best mcc players" but I don't think that should have gotten in the way of them just being kind of toxic. Like, the amount of times I heard them say that bbh was being stupid was a lot, and idk if that's just how their friendship works, but it's definitely something that made me turn more away from liking them. I also don't think either of them can communicate with a team that well at all. Like, battle box is a really good example of this. Neither dream or sapnap were listening to bad when he asked them about the strategy they were going for, and instead just called him useless for not getting any kills. Bbh is right in calling them both toxic for that, because it fucking was. And neither of them even apologized to him either. Like, if this was an actual game of like, soccer or something. And one teammate asked the others what plan they had agasint the other team, and the teammates just answered with, "your just being useless. Just get the goals. It's easy" that would be classified as fucking toxic. I don't know. Bad said it was fine, and it's not really my place to say shit about people I know a lot less then an actual friend of those people, but i just don't think it was right. I don't think dream and sapnap should be teamed with eachother again if this is how they act towards their teammates, and honestly, I think they need a break from mcc. Or at least being competitive mcc. If they could just be on a team where the main priority was just having fun, I think that would be beneficial for them, but I don't know. Just my opinion really, but tldr: I don't like the way Dream or Sapnap treated BBH in particular this mcc, and I think they need to calm the fuck down when it comes to their competitiveness.

Okay, I tuned into the last end of Hbomb's stream. Right at the part where he was watching bad's pov of battle box, and...just..the fuck? What the fuck was up with dream and sapnap. I see why they weren't doing good in battle box now, they were being toxic as shit to their own teammates. Like, I get that they were frustrated, but seriously????? Fucking hell. I don't usually hate dream or sapnap directly, like at most I think they need to controll their fans a bit more, but that battle box? It was so bad, and I get why now. My God. I was planning on watching bad's pov anyway, and I still will, but do they ever apologize to bbh? Like...seriously. Im done with dream adjacent things for a while after I finish my watch of the mcc povs.

anyone ever just look back on 2021 and realize that the monster energy fic probably made karl really uncomfortable if he ever found out about it?

My Chemical Romance performing at #MCRNASHVILLE 💫

📸 by Mark Zaleski

🪐 — LUCIUS SPRIGGS  for  izzy :

breath gets stuck in his throat halfway out,   while his brain struggles to comprehend that this is something that’s actually happening.  this meaning getting kissed by none other than izzy hands,  which effectively shuts him up for once.  even rarer,  lucius is also keeping utterly still,  not moving a single muscle of his body  —  it’s not the resisting kind of tension,  however,  it’s just the what the hell do i do kind of it.  because izzy is more complicated than most men he has ever kissed  (   he easily takes the first spot at that   ),  as hard to predict as the weather when it gets all shifty and crazy,  and lucius doesn’t know whether he should do something with his hands or not,  if it’s safe to put them anywhere at all on the other man or if he should just keep them off.  he doesn’t risk it,  in the end,  not with how izzy reacted last time he had touched him.  arms stay down his sides,  then,  as lucius allows the pirate access to his mouth. 

the kiss itself is a bit rough,  beard scraping against skin,  yet lucius doesn’t exactly mind it.  well,  it’s a step up from angry snarls and furious retreats,  at the very least, better than seeing izzy stump on what he wants before he can dare let himself have it.   ❛  okay.  wasn’t expecting that,  like at all.  but i didn’t hate it.  ❜   lips even curl up in something that’s half grimace-half smile,  faint and a bit tentative, bordering on shy. which lucius surely isn’t, especially when kissing is involved. so that means he is nervous, of course he is, he has every and one reasons to be: because lucius hasn’t forgotten the man’s scathing words,  he is in fact well aware of how quickly it all could go spectacularly wrong.  and because this might be a step forward in the general direction of progress,  sure, but it hardly could be considered a miracle.  ❛  let me guess. you’re going to tell me to get lost now? ❜ it comes out maybe a little sharper than intended, but not by much.

     HE DOESN’T KNOW HOW TO DO THIS,  how it’s supposed to work.  the only man he’s ever touched, who’s ever touched him, is edward.  &  that had been so different that it scarcely feels fair to compare the two.  after all, they had not kissed, not like this.  &  lucius is stiff, but he also lets his mouth open slightly, actually lets izzy kiss him.  &  the first mate feels himself flush,  a low simmering heat moving across his skin beneath layers  &  layers of black leather.  he wears it laced to the top, not a whisper of skin exposed below his throat.  &  there is a reason for it, the barrier keeping hands away from his flesh intentionally.  izzy does not like to be touched.  less than a fortnight ago, he had threatened to remove the poor boy’s hand for the crime of laying it on him with a semblance of gentleness.  &  yet, as he kisses him, rough but hesitant, izzy finds himself wishing for gentle hands on him, for lucius to want to reach for him  &  actually be able to find his skin when he does.                                 it’s a mad desire, one that leaves his head spinning,  &  he’s almost grateful that lucius breaks away a moment later so that he can catch his breath.  izzy is left panting, eyes dark  &  wide when they flutter open  &  look up at the taller man’s face, shocked to see that he’s almost smiling.  i didn’t hate it,  lucius says,  &  izzy has to choke down a wild laugh, hoping to pass it off for something more akin to a scoff.  but then the next words have izzy flushing even redder.  shame is a familiar emotion, one that he has had seared into his skin both literally  &  figuratively.  he knows its sickening nausea, its trills of fear up his spine.  but this time it’s different, colored with a different shade of guilt.  it’s not the act of kissing lucius that he feels shame for  —  that had felt entirely good, warm in a way he had never experienced before.  what does make him lower his eyes, hands softening their grip on lucius’s shirt to lay flat against his chest instead, is how he had treated him before now.                  &  the thought makes him feel a little ill.  izzy almost steps away to flee, almost shows lucius that he’s right about him.  but he wants more than anything to prove him wrong.  ❝ no.  that’s not —  i want  — ❞   he wants lucius, wants to be greedy  &  ask for both his lips  &  his hands.  yet the words still stick in his throat.  izzy knows that he doesn’t deserve the things he really wants, not after the way he’s behaved.  but he’s had a taste,  &  now he’s greedy for more.  though he still can’t manage to look lucius in the eye while he speaks, his gaze instead glued to his fingertips where they lie resting against the other man’s chest, his voice is steady despite it’s uncharacteristically soft tone.  ❝ i want... to do that again.  i —  i liked it. ❞  &  it still feels strange to admit it aloud, but the next words fall from his lips before he can even consider stopping them.  ❝ &  i want you to put your hands on me, too, this time.  if ... if you wouldn’t mind it, that is. ❞

okay i think about adaine and fabian being childhood friends a lot and i ALSO think about them fake dating because adaine’s parents are pushy and she’s the second child, the burden, the one that they’ll pawn off to the highest bidder the soonest chance they get. and fabian isn’t full elf, but his mother’s family is important in fallinel and yeah, okay, seacaster money is probably full of more blood than the average human, but money is money in the eyes of the abernants. and adaine asks him to date her, because she’s afraid of who her parents will give her too if she’s unattached, and fabian loves her, (but not like that) so of course he obliges. (and perhaps a part of him is using her to hide, too, because he’s noticed his tastes are far outside of what’s expected of him and adaine needs him to be strong, for the both of them, so he pushes those feelings aside to protect her and can’t help but feel guilty for protecting himself, too). just these two bonding over feeling trapped in their families and protecting each other whenever and wherever they can. 

fabian giving adaine his jacket, the first thing she’s ever worn that’s not a prep-school uniform. finding security in each other. adaine casting magic to protect, divining fabian’s fate and promising that no matter how stormy the seas, she’ll always be there to guide him. that he’ll always conquer it and sail into the sun as it sets into the horizon. adaine being terrified of the water and fabian swearing to her that he’ll never let her fall in. that he’d dive after her the moment she falls in. fabian standing tall when she’s afraid, shielding her with charm and muscles and a tight-knuckled grip on his rapier. going to stuffy coming of age balls and making their obligatory appearance on the dancefloor, and fabian is a graceful fighter but adaine has never seen him more beautiful than the moment his favorite waltz comes on. 

fabian teaching her how to wield a rapier, because magic surely can’t do everything, adaine. adaine’s first punch is thrown at him and she misses by a mile, but fabian falls to the ground like she socked him square in the jaw (and her second punch strikes true, in the middle of his chest, not nearly as strong as it could be and making him feel lighter than air). just these two finding levity and life in one another. just adaine and fabian man.

We can't be having any defects running around!! Even just ONE can challenge all of Blackrock, you hear!?

[ A screechy voice clipped through the loud clanking of metal. The beeps emanating from the locked room sounded almost pained. ]

CREATOR, PLEASE-

I'm NOT risking it again!! Shut up and stay still, you stupid piece of scrap metal!!!

[ There were no more complaints. Spark's sensors picked up the gruesome scene. One of its own kind—not just that, its best friend—was getting torn apart. It couldn't do anything to stop it. ]

SIL . . .

[ It darted off as soon as Subspace's footsteps approached the doorway. Without any hint of remorse, he walked off and muttered that he'd "clean this up later". ]

SIL?

[ Spark whirred and stepped inside the dimly lit laboratory. Sil's body was torn apart haphazardly. His horns were shattered and the lights rimming their joints had been shut off. Exposed wires let out their final whimpers of electricity and oil leaked from inside his metal casing.

Spark picked up Sil's limp hand (the one that hadn't been yanked off in Subspace's fit of rage) and gripped it tightly. ]

WHAT DID HE DO TO YOU?

[ Spark kneeled down there for an hour, just staring. Processing what had brought it here. It only wanted to visit its friend, not hear his robotic cries as he gets dismantled. ]

The Devil in Disguise: Some theory-ish ideas on the night of the ball, The Metatron, and Crowley

The Metatron & Saraqael messed with Crowley's mind while he was in Heaven. He comes back unaware that he's missing at least 10 hours that the show spends a lot of time establishing and, more concerningly... he is suddenly incapable of seeing Heaven as an existential threat to Aziraphale.

TW for talk of assault, PTSD.

Good Omens begins talking about time in reference to the night of the ball earlier in the season with Mr. Brown of Brown's World of Carpets in The Dirty Donkey scene. The writers set it up for us, all here's Mr. Brown-- he's going to set up this Whickber Street meeting for 6:30pm on Thursday evening after the shops close. You'll think the reason this is so specific is just a Mr. Brown's personality thing but then, as we get closer to it, at the top of 2.05, we're going to have about 30,000 scenes that do nothing but tell you, over and over and over again, what time this meeting ball starts. The entire purpose of this is for you to realize how much time passes through the night until the final act of 2.06... which we will then establish is happening in the 7am hour of Friday morning, some twelve hours after the meeting/ball began.

We go see Mr. Arnold and he helps us establish that today is Thursday and the meeting is tonight. Then, we visit Mrs. Cheng and she asks what time the meeting starts again, so Aziraphale will say "6:30" and confirm for us that he hasn't changed Mr. Brown's scheduled time. Then, Mutt originally can't go because he's taking his spouse to *dinner* for their anniversary-- this meeting is so early! reminds the scene. Then, Justine can come but she can only stay for a little while because the restaurant "picks up after 7pm." Then, Mrs. Sandwich arrives at the meeting and says basically the same thing as Justine did in the earlier scene-- that she can't stay long because her business is about to pick up. Then, Maggie is closing up her shop when Crowley is dispatched to get her. We now have every single major shopkeeper/trader in a separate scene, each of which reiterates how early this starts-- at 6:30pm on Thursday evening. When Nina gets to the ball, she adds an additional element: she's not fully under Aziraphale's spell so she comments on how everyone is speaking like they "just stepped out of 'Pride & Prejudice'," which is to say that everyone is speaking outside of time.

Nina is telling us that there's something wrong with relation to time but we know what that wrong thing is-- Aziraphale's Jane Austen ball spell. If you add it into the repeated references to time itself, though, you see it's another thing conveying a general feeling of something being way, way, way off about time on the night of the ball that the writers would like us to notice.

Why are we so obsessed with time on this night? What is the purpose of all of this?

To help you see that we are missing almost the entire night and that Crowley was in Heaven the entire time... and that there are some things that are really, really wrong with him when he comes back.

When we get into 2.06 and to the next morning, time is referenced again to help us see this. Crowley returns and it's surprisingly daylight, when it had been only a few hours past 6:30pm at best when he left for Heaven, right? In the morning, he takes Maggie & Nina outside to save them from Saraqael and both women comment on the time. We're talking about time again, as it's that important. Maggie says she's exhausted from being awake all night. Nina, crucially, says that her shop should have opened "a half an hour ago." Nina sells coffee so her shop likely opens at 6:30 or 7am, so it's 7 or 7:30am on Friday morning when the final act of 2.06 is happening.

That means that it's *at least* ten hours after Crowley went to Heaven but while he knows what time it is the next morning, he does not appear to know he's missing time. While Aziraphale is with The Metatron, Crowley will even look at his watch-- another reference to time passing-- and still not have this realization. The morning sun streams through the windows of the unclosed blinds, in a reverse parallel to 2.01, when Aziraphale closed the blinds after bringing Crowley into the bookshop, making it more comfortable for Crowley, who here seems to be aware that it's morning but unaffected by the bright sun; the show using the set and costumes to help illustrate this for us.

Because Crowley arrived with the angels and the group scene in the bookshop happened right after it, he and Aziraphale have not had a moment alone to speak yet. They actually won't get one before S2 is out because the bookshop is burned. In S1, it literally burned. In S2, it's burned, in the spy sense of the word-- everyone can get into it now so it's no longer a safe place to talk, which Crowley also seems to fail to fully recognize, which is partly because he fails to see Heaven as a danger to anyone but humanity, which we'll get to in a second. Aziraphale didn't say what he wanted to when Crowley first returned in the morning because he saw the angels, so he stops at "you came back", but he really has spent the entire prior night not knowing where Crowley was.

When The Metatron likely came on the Heavenly Zoom after Aziraphale stopped discorporating demons with it-- hinted at in Aziraphale and The Metatron's first interaction in the morning-- Aziraphale told The Metatron to go pound sand, which The Metatron figured he would. Not a lot of people want to spend more time with the leader of an organization that tried to kill them. We know Crowley isn't mentioned at this time because using Crowley as a tactic is new in the morning when Aziraphale talks with The Metatron at Marguerite's but Aziraphale told The Metatron he wouldn't go up to Heaven when they first spoke during the time we're missing. That much we already know.

So, Aziraphale then spent the night in a semi-panic because he might have started a war and he told The Metatron where he could stick it, which is kind of like trying to tell Putin you're quitting your job in the Russian Defense Ministry and could easily wind up with your ass tossed out a window but, most frightening to Aziraphale... Crowley hadn't come back.

Hours go by and no Crowley.

It's 1827 all over again. One minute, he's flirting with Crowley and the next minute, Crowley's gone from him in an instant. Crowley wouldn't do this willingly. They've talked about it. Crowley will tell him where he is now, all the time. He's working on not taking off when his PTSD is triggered. Aziraphale went to the spot he was taken in Edinburgh for the first time just the other day and called him from it to hear his voice and work on getting past it. Does Crowley still have to leave to some extent every damn day because he's not just living in the bookshop? Yes. Is even that a lot for Aziraphale at this point? Yes. Does Crowley know all of this? Yes. He makes it a point to tell Aziraphale that he'll get the humans out and then come back and that he won't leave Aziraphale on his own. Aziraphale believes him because he knows Crowley has no wish to hurt him and that is true. So, when Crowley doesn't come back all night, Aziraphale is panicked that something's happened to him.

He is correct that something has but neither of them ever get a moment to sort it out before S2 ends.

Look at the way Aziraphale reaches for Crowley when Crowley saves Maggie & Nina from Saraqael. He can't stop him because he doesn't want the shop lesbians turned into pillars of salt but he reaches for Crowley, like he just wants him to stay put for a moment, because this is exactly what happened ten hours or so ago now all over again-- Crowley left the bookshop to get the humans to safety and he didn't come back right away and Aziraphale was panic-stricken. He since hasn't even had a moment alone with him or the opportunity to ask him if he's alright.

This angel needs all these people out of his bookshop so he can find out what the fuck happened to Crowley all night. He still thinks, at this point, that if they can sort out these issues about the war and Gabriel, that this can happen and then everyone will go and he can be alone with Crowley. He can check on him and tell him what happened with The Metatron while he was gone and they can make a plan together, as opposed to the plan Aziraphale's had to make on his own. The Metatron has not yet appeared to change this, so Aziraphale is fine with Crowley sharing what he's found out about Gabriel and sorting everything out, in the hopes that then everyone will then leave them be for awhile.

When Crowley first arrived back in the bookshop and acted as if nothing was wrong, Aziraphale saw the angels behind him and he and Crowley aren't used to being open with one another in front of Heaven. They don't trust them. Gabriel, they've gotten used to but also Gabriel's proven himself kind of lovable, and he's one of them now. Michael, Uriel and Saraqael are not. So, Aziraphale didn't get into any of it with Crowley in that moment. He didn't say where were you? are you alright?, didn't hug him, etc.. The timing of all of this is by design on the part of The Metatron. If Crowley & Aziraphale don't have any time alone, they don't have any time to plan. If they don't have any time to make a plan, they're less trouble and easier to divide. That's why Crowley is sent back with the angels in tow.

Crowley's purpose in The Metatron's plan to get Aziraphale (and to destroy both of them, in the long run) is to unintentionally help The Metatron get Aziraphale to trust him. The way The Metatron does this is two-fold. The first bit is to have Crowley in Heaven and then send him back, (seemingly) fine, making Aziraphale think that if Crowley survived a trip to Heaven that they won't harm him in the future. The second bit is to send Crowley back with the information needed to solve the Gabriel mystery at the same time as Beez has been sent up to check on the results of the attack on the bookshop, which facilitates the revelation to Aziraphale of Ineffable Bureaucracy. The Metatron lets Gabe and Beez run off for exactly as long as it takes to get Aziraphale into the elevator-- all to make it look like Heaven has changed and provide Aziraphale with what he thinks is proof that he and Crowley would be allowed to be together in Heaven.

Note how Crowley says that what happened to Gabriel is that the angels want him back "so they can fire him" which, honestly, really already happened. Crowley watched the video we did but he doesn't remember it the way we do. He doesn't remember that The Metatron and Saraqael were trying to take Gabriel's memories and that Michael was complicit in it. These are all *extremely important* things that could have been shared with Aziraphale and the others but that Crowley seems to have forgotten that he saw.

Also note how The Metatron chooses not to appear in the bookshop until after Gabriel and the demons have left. By the time The Metatron appears, there's only Crowley (who is influenced by him) and angels who will do what he tells them to, and Aziraphale. Also note, though, that Gabriel gets his memories back... but doesn't seem to recall who now?

Super funny how Gabriel doesn't remember the angel that is important enough to have been at the big meetings-- and so, that he should have seen every few days for millennia lol-- and *that same angel* is the one who both has the canonical ability to take memories and is the one who recognized/is in league with The Metatron. Almost as if Gabriel got his memories back via Beez's fly and Saraqael instantly zapped his memory of them and of what happened to him so that he wouldn't be like hey, it's you guys... who totally obeyed The Metatron when he made me into a fallen angel and tried to take my memories from me. Aziraphale, don't trust these motherfuckers. They'll totally try to kill you and Crowley.

Almost as if Saraqael *is only there in the first place* to control Gabriel and Crowley's memories to facilitate what happens in the bookshop and keep it under control in the way that they and The Metatron want it to go. The Metatron, in all likelihood, is the one who cast all the demons to Hell, and Crowley is the only demon of the main group of them here who actually has memory issues so imagine what would have happened if The Metatron had rolled in when everyone was still there in the group scene. Gabriel would have been furious about what The Metatron did to him and said so... and Beez and the other demons would recognize The Metatron as the one who made them fall. Crowley would believe Beez, even if he couldn't remember it. Gabriel would go into Protector!Mode-- forget what The Metatron did to him, he's incensed over what he did to his love Beez and his new friend Crowley and, Gabriel supposes, those other demon guys over there, too lol. The demons start going from calling for Beez and Gabe's heads to joining up with them against The Metatron. Aziraphale would try to kill The Metatron if he knew all of that, forget getting into that elevator with him lol, so Ineffable Bureaucracy are allowed to escape-- for a little while, they're in a ton of danger after S2-- because that also helps The Metatron try to get Aziraphale to trust him, rather than starts a revolution. The Metatron only shows up after Dagon, Furfur and Shax leave, too, which further the suspicions that he's harmed them in the past and they wouldn't be too happy to see him.

So let's go back to what's wrong with Crowley...

Crowley, pre-trip to Heaven:

believes Beez about The Book of Life; growls at Gabriel that Aziraphale is "risking his entire existence" to help him and threatens him if anything happens to Aziraphale; not only remembers Heaven trying to kill them but brings it up to Gabriel in what is also a reminder of that to the audience; objected originally to Aziraphale taking care of Gabriel because of him trying to kill them and then has an anxiety attack over Gabriel in his house for basically most of the season; follows Aziraphale around Whickber Street after Shax starts sniffing around the bookshop; turns himself in to Muriel to work with Heaven as an informant without a second thought to protect Aziraphale, the bookshop, Maggie, Nina and Gabriel.

Crowley in Heaven:

promptly forgets the moment he gets off the elevator that his plan is that he is there to get the angels to protect the bookshop embassy, by appealing to their need to not be shown up by the demons; walks right by Michael & Uriel-- the archangels whose help he came up here to seek-- and continues to Muriel's office; becomes obsessed with finding out what happened to Gabriel; is spotted by Michael-- the smartest of the angels and the most suspicious, who is nominally in charge but for The Metatron-- and nothing comes of it, hinting that Michael might have been intercepted by The Metatron/Saraqael and roped into part of the plan (which also goes along with Michael and Uriel being sent with Crowley, Muriel and Saraqael back to the bookshop later on); is allowed into the files with permission from Saraqael, who is the only angel who recognizes The Metatron the next morning in the bookshop & is standing in for Sandalphon in some parts of the plot, according to Gaiman (Sandalphon & The Metatron are tight in Bible lore); Saraqael is the angel who was tasked with taking Gabriel's memories and they're the one Crowley is with most of his time in Heaven... the other angel being Muriel, whose own memories are suggested in a few scene to have been taken at some point; Crowley's memories issues are brought up again when he fails to recognize Saraqael; Crowley looks weirdly dazed while watching the Gabriel video; Saraqael is in league with The Metatron but both of them come off as the villains they are in the video they *want* Crowley to watch... but Crowley doesn't seem to remember that bit of what he saw afterwards; Crowley doesn't react to Saraqael trying to attack Gabriel after he finishes watching the video and, as we'll see, he doesn't seem to retain the same impression of the video that we do; Crowley tells Saraqael to come with him and Muriel back to the bookshop, despite having just watched a video in which they tried to take Gabriel's memories... meaning, that he fails to recognize Saraqael as a threat to himself, Gabriel and Aziraphale, and almost seems to tell Saraqael to come with him because Saraqael has influenced him to do so.

Crowley, post-trip to Heaven:

sits in a chair, listless, staring into space while Michael yells at Aziraphale that they will erase him from existence via The Book of Life (doesn't matter if this is real or if Michael can do it or not-- Crowley believed it was real pre-trip to Heaven and he'd protect Aziraphale from a piece of dust so why is he just sitting there); fails to tell Aziraphale that Gabriel is a fallen angel and that The Metatron ordered his identity stolen; fails to tell Aziraphale that Saraqael was trying to take Gabriel's memories on order of The Metatron before Gabriel outsmarted them while running to escape them and that Michael was complicit in all of it; recognizes that Heaven/Hell is toxic and a threat to *humanity*-- "when Heaven ends life on Earth, it'll just be as dead as if Hell ended it" and saving Maggie & Nina from Saraqael-- but fails to see that they are a threat to *Aziraphale*; goes a bit blank and stares at nothing, half-in/half-out of what is happening around him, when the conversation is about lost memories or The Book of Life; is staring into space at nothing on the floor when discussion is happening about lost memories-- Gabriel's-- until Aziraphale touches his arm... then, he looks up, still a little expressionless, and reacts to Ineffable Bureaucracy by offering them Alpha Centauri and talking about it in a way that makes it sound like an island he always meant to visit and not the option he always throws out to Aziraphale in a Defcon 1-level panic... Alpha Centauri isn't a trip to the Caymans to Crowley, it's this lol:

We can chitty chitty bang bang The Bentley to the stars, angel, I'm freaking out and out of ideas please send help!...meaning that, in the 2.06 group scene in the bookshop, he isn't telling Gabe and Beez to run, he's just offering them an idea of a place to go to if they're leaving... meaning, he fails to think they're in any danger and this is the same being who just watched a video last night in which The Metatron tried to attack Gabriel; and that's not even the worst of it... this is...

Go on. Day can't get any weirder... Crowley fails to see that Aziraphale does not want to go anywhere alone with The Metatron and is looking at him to come with them... instead, Crowley reacts like Aziraphale is asking if he'd mind if he goes and has a weird, unplanned coffee with his exhausting, bigoted dad and then he'll come back and spend the day with him; Crowley tells Aziraphale to go with The Metatron and just sits there in the damn chair while they walk out the door... this is *Crowley*, you guys. The same being that just spent a week trying to see if he could get Xanax to work for demons because of all the Heaven circling his bookshop safe space... the same being who got the heebie-jeebies over Shax and a bunch of junior demons at 6:30pm the night before... but now he's all no problem, honey, hope it goes well, I'll be here lounging in your chair, waiting for you to come back when *The Metatron* shows up and wants Aziraphale to go somewhere with him alone... This is also, of course, the moment that The Metatron gets the big villain music in the score-- right as he looks at Crowley, whom he's been monitoring like a hawk since he showed up; fails to recognize danger to Aziraphale so much that he just *stays in the bookshop* the whole time Aziraphale is with The Metatron-- doesn't follow them, even, or anything... he has no plans but for boozy breakfast (which is another indicator of him knowing that it's morning but not realizing he's missing time) and he completely believes that Aziraphale is in no danger at all and will return any moment, even as he gets anxious about how long it's taking; fails to mention the most obvious argument in the world for why Aziraphale shouldn't go to Heaven-- that they tried to murder them-- and so can never be trusted; fails again during the proposal to tell Aziraphale not to trust The Metatron because of what he just did to Gabriel on Monday and today is Friday morning and it's doubtful he just redeemed himself in a week lol... why did they have us see Crowley see the video but then *not* have him tell Aziraphale about it and ask that if that's what they were trying to do to Gabriel-- who had the political benefit of not being killed or sent directly to Hell because it would look like an institutional problem-- what does Aziraphale think that The Metatron would do to him, when he doesn't have any of the protections of Gabriel's old position?... this is *information that could save Aziraphale's life* and Crowley saw it with us but he doesn't seem to remember that he did because if he *did* remember that he did, he surely would tell Aziraphale because he loves Aziraphale and doesn't want anything to happen to him. He absolutely would have tried this argument if he remembered any of this from the video... but he also doesn't remember that Gabriel was already "fired" or that The Metatron and Saraqael and Michael are all a threat to Aziraphale... because he's been made to not remember that; finally, he never brings up something he believes in that he fears-- The Book of Life-- during the "no nightingales" conversation, even though it just came up when the angels were in the bookshop... but Crowley honestly might not even remember that it did, based on how out of it he was during that moment between Michael and Aziraphale.

Because Crowley can't recognize that he's missing time and that Heaven is an existential threat to Aziraphale and because Aziraphale feels like they can't talk alone without it being at least somewhat coded because the bookshop has been burned, they are each missing a huge part of what the other is trying to say and this results in the "no nightingales" disaster. Aziraphale knows he's in danger with The Metatron but Crowley's been programmed during the night to not recognize The Metatron, The Book of Life or Heaven in general as threats to Aziraphale. As a result, he can't understand that Aziraphale is trying to signal to him that he's made a plan and he needs Crowley to use their way of understanding each other and to follow his lead on it. Crowley, if he hadn't been harmed the night before, would have been able to see this and help Aziraphale. Aziraphale, for his part, fails to see that something's happened to Crowley and that's not terribly new for them, sadly, because so much has already happened to Crowley and Aziraphale is so sensitive to it that he doesn't think that Crowley's responses are the result of new trauma, just his already pre-existing trauma.

Even the prior night, Aziraphale downplayed Crowley's anxiety during the ball as just being his usual brand of anxiety amped up by the fact that they were trying something riskier and more public... until the brick got thrown through the window. He knows that Crowley has PTSD. One of the sweetest scenes in the series actually begins because of Aziraphale seeing Crowley slipping into a bit of PTSD fugue and pulling him out of it. Not uncoincidentally? It's from the other season finale. It's from the nightingales finale, as opposed to the no nightingales finale. It's this:

That scene actually begins with Crowley staring down at nothing in front of him, lost in thought, until Aziraphale gently brings him out of it and into the present moment. Because Crowley does this when they've been through an ordeal that's triggered things for him, Aziraphale is used to seeing it, so he doesn't recognize it in 2.06 as anything other than one of Crowley's default trauma responses. Because Crowley has only been influenced by The Metatron/Saraqael on specific things relating to threats to time and Aziraphale, he's otherwise alright and responding normally to other things, which fools Aziraphale into thinking that nothing happened to him... which is part of The Metatron's plan. He wants Aziraphale to think that Crowley is fine so that when they fail to communicate, he'll be so angry with/heartbroken over Crowley that he'll walk away from him and more easily get into the elevator.

Last time we saw a character on GO periodically sit in a chair this non-responsive, it was actually Gabriel occasionally fugue-ing out during his memory loss Jim era just an episode or so previously and Crowley's memory issues are paralleled with Gabriel's all season. Gabriel would space out when being overtaken by an outside force, which is what is kind of like what is happening with Crowley. Not possession like with Gabriel or God but his mind has been messed around with. Ironically, Crowley is the only one Aziraphale doesn't try to influence during the ball. While Aziraphale's actions during the ball are a whole other meta when it comes to just how fucked up all of that was, really... he left Crowley out of it. Part of it is that he doesn't have to love spell Crowley lol and that influencing him at all would have defeated the point of the ball in Aziraphale's mind but he also doesn't because he'd never do anything without Crowley's consent. He wouldn't anyway but he's extra-mindful of it because he knows Crowley has been through situations where his control over himself was taken from him and how that's affected him. Then, Crowley leaves the ball to help the humans and go to Heaven for help for Aziraphale and wound up kidnapped up there for 10 or so hours and suffering that same kind of non-consensual attack again.

Only other time Crowley is as periodically quiet and still, staring down at nothing and looking that forlorn, as he is in moments of 2.06? 1862. I'm not suggesting the exact same thing happened to him after 1827 when he was in Hell but I am suggesting the trauma response is the same and it's all over the bookshop scenes in 2.06 after he comes back from Heaven. He's literally standing like as tense and straight with his eyes lowered and speaking quietly as he did in 1862 in parts of 2.06, like before Aziraphale touches his arm when Gabriel and Beezlebub hold hands.

Crowley's had relevant memories taken by Saraqael and The Metatron to control him, so he spaces out when the conversation conflicts with what he's been influenced not to recognize as dangerous-- The Book of Life, the topic of lost memories/missing memories (he zones completely out of talk of Gabriel's lost memories once he gives everyone the means to figure it out)... most importantly, any moment that The Metatron and Saraqael and Michael and Heaven in general are threatening towards Aziraphale. He lets Michael threaten Aziraphale with non-existence. He lets Saraqael into the bookshop after knowing what they did to Gabriel because they've skewed what he thinks he saw on the video. He lets Aziraphale go with The Metatron without recognizing any danger to him at all.

This is intentional on the part of our villains here. They want to drive a wedge between them to get Aziraphale into the elevator. They've just influenced Crowley to not see them as a threat to Aziraphale but not much more than that so that he's otherwise normal-seeming in behavior. He remembers what happened at the ball enough that he snaps Mr. Brown back and asks what Aziraphale did to Shax. This is why The Metatron is watching Crowley like a hawk. He looks at him suspiciously when he retains enough control and empathy for humans-- sending Mr. Brown, Maggie and Nina to safety-- but he hears the women talk about time and realizes that Crowley doesn't respond, so the influence is working. He tests Crowley when he arrives to see if the influence is working in the what about you, demon? Do you know who I am? moment.

This is the reason why none of the other angels but for Saraqael recognize The Metatron, even if he doesn't look *that* different with a body. Saraqael messed with all of their minds to make it so that they don't for a few moments, specifically to give The Metatron an opportunity to test Crowley and be sure it's all still working.

(The saving Mr. Brown thing is especially heart-breaking because what do we learn about Mr. Brown's experience last night from what he says to Mutt? He can't remember where he was or what happened to him. It's a parallel to Crowley and another hint at it from the writers but is less horrifying because Mr. Brown's lack of memory might not be his choice but taking it from him was done out of empathy. PTSD-laden Crowley did that for him while under this influence. He made the call that Mr. Carpet didn't need to go through the trauma of remembering being attacked by the demons and snapped him into line for coffee-- symbolic freedom-- at Nina's, like it was another normal day for him. Meanwhile, Crowley can't remember what happened to himself last night for totally different reasons and doesn't even fully realize it yet.)

In S1, Aziraphale opens up the portal to Heaven and gets accidentally discorporated-- loses his body-- and the bookshop burns down. In S2, Aziraphale opens up the portal to Heaven, the bookshop is burnt as a safe house, and Crowley's mind is what is harmed by Heaven.

Because Crowley seems to be otherwise fine, Aziraphale doesn't think anything is more wrong than the usual amount of wrong and because The Metatron is breathing down their necks the whole time, Aziraphale never just says what happened to you last night? which would have changed everything because either it would have broken the hold they have over Crowley enough for him to remember that they have one or Aziraphale would have been standing there, horrified, as Crowley seemed confused by the idea that he was gone all night. Aziraphale doesn't ask because he knows something is wrong but everything is wrong at that moment and they can't get away from The Metatron enough to speak freely. Aziraphale is trying to convey a kind of plan (which seems to be 1941 and playing them for suckers) and begging Crowley to realize that he's terrified and trapped and needs him to help him but Crowley is incapable of fully recognizing that because he doesn't see Heaven as a threat to Aziraphale anymore, thanks to The Metatron. He just sees Heaven as a threat to their relationship and so starts to try to get Aziraphale to stay with him.

The worst part of this is that while it becomes a total fucking disaster in the bookshop, the very end of it is different. There's Crowley, staying by The Bentley, not leaving. It's not even that he wants Aziraphale to come to him instead of The Metatron so much as it's just him knowing he left the bookshop and he been working on not leaving. He wants Aziraphale to see he left the argument but not him. He doesn't know how this all works if Aziraphale goes to Heaven and he's still thinking of it in terms of 'if Aziraphale takes this job he's been offered by The Metatron' and not 'Aziraphale is about to be harmed by The Metatron' because of the influence... but he's not leaving. He promised Aziraphale he wouldn't leave him on his own, so he's sending a message that he won't. He just thinks that they're still going to have a relationship to work on because he thinks Aziraphale is about to become the Supreme Archangel of Heaven when, in reality, Aziraphale just walked into an elevator of death here. (He'll be fine in the long run. They'll bring him back. But I'm pretty sure nothing good is happening to Aziraphale in the short term.)

They eluded being forced into killing themselves in S1 by working together; they are separated and made to help one another's death in S2. Crowley influenced to watching helplessly as Aziraphale is taken from him is also, by design, an attempt at killing Crowley. They know he wouldn't want to live without Aziraphale. They're not as strong, not as much of a threat, apart as they are together.

Meanwhile, Aziraphale has no idea what just happened but it's a mess and it's one he's not sure he'll ever get to resolve because he just overheard The Metatron talking about The Second Coming and now he suspects he might not be safe but he also doesn't have a choice but to get into the elevator and he's doing it alone. He gets The Bentley to play Crowley "A Nightingale Sang in Berkeley Square" as an I love you and a response to Crowley saying "no nightingales" in the bookshop. It's a refusal to say they're done. There actually isn't an ineffable divorce. There's them each fucking it all up and then trying to apologize from across Whickber Street with The Metatron lurking around and they manage to but...

...what do you think happens when something happens to make Crowley realize what happened to him the night he spent in Heaven and what's wrong with him? He's going to feel like he killed Aziraphale. He's going to feel like he shot The Bullet Catch gun and didn't miss. Don't think The Metatron doesn't know it. Because what is Round Two? It's Crowley's "all of us versus all of them" from the end of S1. Why is Hell so understaffed in S2? Because most of the demons are getting into place for The Second Coming. It's Heaven and Hell (who still hate each other but are aligned) versus humanity. S2 has a focus on times Heaven and Hell have worked in tandem-- like with Job-- and then has them all in the bookshop at the end. It has Crowley bonding with Gabriel and Beez being kind to Aziraphale. It blends Heaven & Hell into the singular, corrupt system that it always has been and takes Crowley & Aziraphale's "our side" and starts adding to it. Beez and Gabriel are on their side now. Muriel and others will follow. But as they're doing all of this and as they're centering The Second Coming and The Metatron, you know whose presence was briefly mentioned but was otherwise suspiciously absent from S2?

Lucifer.

God made an appearance and not even just in flashback. It's God speaking through Gabriel earlier in the season, telling Crowley and Aziraphale to remember Job.

Where's Satan, though?

We've only noticed The Metatron, not that he and Satan are now, for awhile at least, on the same side, and Satan was not happy about S1. I don't think we should ignore the only references to Satan in S2--the quick lines they gave Shax and Dagon in the bookshop scene, wherein Shax said that they should give Gabriel and Beez to their master, Satan, and Dagon said that Satan wouldn't want them, except maybe "as hors d'oeurves." Ignoring for a moment how absolutely fucking horrifying a line that is on a show that codes sex as food this much, consider that Dagon just literally said that Lucifer/Satan would consider Gabe and Beez secondary-- just appetizers-- to a main course. Who is the main course?

Who else but Crowley & Aziraphale?

Do you really think that even if they held back on the Benedict Cumberbatch this round that Lucifer/Satan took the whole season off and had nothing to do with the end game of S2? The Lucifer/Satan who lost his antichrist kid in S1 and his armageddon in S1 because of Crowley and Aziraphale? The Lucifer who is very disturbingly obsessed with Crowley? The Lucifer who is now teamed up with Heaven for The Second Coming and so who might have actually been Upstairs himself when Crowley was the night of the ball-- or, at least, suggested what Saraqael and The Metatron did to Crowley? Because it's actually where we first saw this kind of thing in the plot, remember? Here are your instructions...

I feel like crap.

(Warning, veigely talking about pedophilia....kinda)

I just kinda...accidentally made a remark that could be read in a way that could excuse pedophilia(fucking ew. Ew no. no) I didn't mean that.

I swear to gods I didn't mean it like that. Age is just a fucky concept to me. Cause to me it's based on life experience and shit (like. The way I think about it is...kinda still like how my source worked) you only grow up physically as you gain experience and understanding of the world around you.

I'd never think of kids that way. Ew. But like. The fact that comment was something I said. Just...ugh.

I'm fine fighting kids, not...that.