Clapping - Tumblr Posts

3 months ago
I Have Generously Made This Image For My Target Audience You May Now Clap

i have generously made this image for my target audience you may now clap


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8 months ago
archiveofourown.org
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

Summary: Abducted by smugglers, Patton finds himself stuck in a cell with one of the most famous and bloodthirsty kind of deathworlders out there, a Human.

Author: @delimeful


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11 years ago

The Clapping Lawyer

[The following skit is one I wrote for my drama class for 6-7 year-olds, and is a puppet show.]

The Clapping Lawyer

Andrew: There once was a lawyer…

Kian: He went to lawyer school, and was super smart…

Vitaly: However, he did something others found weird… He’d clap a lot…

Andrew: They were mostly happy claps…

Kian: Some were sarcastic claps…

Vitaly: He somehow even did angry claps…

Andrew: You’re skipping the beginning!

Kian: Oh, yeah! There it is now!

Vitaly: Back when the lawyer didn’t have arms!

*Flashback sign; time-warp noise*

The Lawyer: I love being a lawyer, but, something feels off…

Kian: Yes, despite how much he loved truth and justice, something was still missing…

*Clapping*

The Lawyer: What’s that glorious noise?

Vitaly: Oh, that’s called clapping! You need arms to clap, though.

The Lawyer: Where can I get these “arms?”

Andrew: I know a guy who sells Black Market arms; come with me!

Kian: Oh, hey, guys! How can I help you?

The Lawyer: Two arms, please!

Kian: Here they are! Now, you take good care of them!

Vitaly: Why do they call this the Black Market, anyway?

Kian: Oh, just because it’s the colour black; nothing sinister here!

Andrew: And, that’s when things changed…

Vitaly: He loved his arms so much, and was so happy with them, that he started clapping at random times and places.

Kian: Why does he keep clapping? It’s so weird…

Andrew: Yeah. He clapped during our lawyer test; it was super distracting…

The Lawyer: You DO have the right to an attorney! Ah-HA! Take that, test! *claps*

Vitaly: He also has started clapping during court…

The Lawyer: *slow clap* OBJECTION!

Kian: Mr. Lawyer, your clapping is annoying!

The Lawyer: I’m just trying to spread joy through clapping… I’m just so excited and thankful for these arms…

Vitaly: It was then that they realized what an actual encouragement the clapping had been…

Andrew: He’d clap and cheer at their sports events…

Kian: He clapped and cried at Billy Bob Thorton’s wedding…

Vitaly: He clapped and encouraged them when they got accepted into Hogwarts…

The Lawyer: I clap because I care about you all!

Kian: That’s when we realized, also, that we were so busy being worried about looking cool and being accepted, that we shunned our friend, just because he was quirky…

Andrew: We’re so sorry we were rude… you’re not a total weirdo, like we thought…

Vitaly: I’m sorry I gossiped about you… to basically everyone…

The Lawyer: It’s alright, you guys! I forgive you! GROUP HUG!

Everyone: THE END!


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