Dateko Crack - Tumblr Posts
SMFH this felt like physical assault on my brain zee, I don’t know how you one up’d wattpad but you did <333
a/n: okay so what do you get when you combine @undermattsun ‘s fever dream of a server with a bunch of whores that grew up on wattpad? well the kidnapped by haikyuu collab of course. the fact that this is the first ever thing i’ve ever written is fitting. it was very fun and nostalgic though make sure to check out the other teams and suffer like the rest of us did writing them.
a/n 2: tw wattpad tw cocaine tw no editing and a lot of typos tw i wrote the majority of this high
wc: 800
My name is y/n and i’m just a regular student at dateko hs. Today I woke up and put my long black curly hair in space buns and slipped on my chemical romance shirt (a/n: their my favorite band uwu, if you don’t like frank iero gtfo he’s a precius cinammon bunnnnn) with black skinny jeans and vans then i did my eyeliner and put on some mscare. Other girls at my school do full faces of makeup but i am so lazyyyy haha blep, i guess you could say i’m not like them :P
ANyways i finished my morning routine and left ot school. I was on my way to school when a truck pulled up to me with teh words sateko scribbed on the side. Out of nowhere, three tall guys come up to me and kidnap me111!!!!!! They put a blinfold on me and tied my hands together >.> then they threw me in te back of teh truck “we got them’ i heard one of them say. “échala a la mamalona alv” (a/n: f*ck it, throw them in the whip) i head someone say before i blaked out.
~later~
when i woke up i was in a dark room and i started creaming “WHO AM I AND WHAT DID yoU DO TO ME”?? I felt strong hands undo the blindfold. WHen my brown obs were free from the darkness of the blindfold I saw a group of guys in volleyball uniforms and tejanas (a/n: that means cowboy hats in spanish xD ) standing before me. “We are the volleyball team, turned drug cartel Dateko and from now on you’ll be our accountant” the brown haired man grimaced darkly with malice.
“I WAS KIDNAPPED BY A DRUG CARTELL?!?!?!??” i screamed!
“Kinda??” the tall boy who looked like th e yellow angry bird spoke up. “calm down y/n. My name is koganegawa btw, but you can call me koganewga :) everyone here calls me el canario (a/n: this means the canry lolll) though”
“How do you know my name” I asked.
“We go to schoo l with you y/n. I’m pretty sure el nube (the cloud) is in the same class as you?” kogangeawa responded.
“Who is el nube? An why do you hace dumb nicknames for everyone?””
“ugh , the cloud is Aone takonabuu, and we gave each other nicknames because any narco worth mentioning has one ” said futakuchi
“Who are you anyway? And how are you narcos and in high school?? nd why’s you chose me to be ur account ant??” you retorted, annoyed bc uGH.
“well my name’s futakuchi, and im el jefe (a/n: the boss) around these parts”
“And what parts ar these exactly?”
“And what parts ar these exactly?”
“Well our volleyball/cocaine supply closet of corse. And Let me finish talking peasant” el jefe responded. “Canario please finish explaining it to them, i need to.. Take care of something... ” he said mysteriously then left the room.
“Yeah so basic ly we needed to raise money so our volleyball team could go to the games in sendai, and no one wanted The Iron Wall’s burnt ass coockies so we decided to fundraise thru drug cartel, adn we neeed you to look thru the expenses because we aren’t making as much money as before O.O and your’e the smartest person in my remedial math class” el canario, koganawa said. (a/n: i actually suck at math xD idk numbers are hard T.T)
i looked thru their books and said “the reason why you aren’t making as much money is because someone’s been stealing cocaina.”
“wow , how do you know?” asked el pelos de elote, Kamasaki asked inquistively
“Because el jefe has snuck out three cocaine filled volleyballs since koganejwa started talking” i responded and the whole room GASPEDD!!!
“JEFE WHYYYYY??” moniwa groaned.
“I was tired of sharing the profit with you idiots, and also I wanted to have money so i could buy an engagement ring for y/n.” futakuchi screamed and i felt my cheeks blushed a deep mahogany. OMG he was proposing?!?!?? (a/n: bet you didn;t see that coming teehee
I can’t believe that lil ol me who was suuuper normal and plain but totally not like the other boring people at my school was getting proposed to by the DATEKO CARTEL leader. “Jefe, I acce-”
Just as i was about to accept, EL NUBE slammed through the door of the supply closet.
“futacoochie, I know what you’ve been doing, and i know you’re planning on marrying y/n l/n/ a/s/l l/g/b/t so you can frame them for leading the cartel and i can’t let you do that” aone yelled. “Because i love them” i was in shock. Futakoochy was gonna use me. (a/n boys suck) I was beyond mad. Then Aone grabbed el jefe tightly and forced him out of the supply closet yelling at him “we better never see you again, except for at volleyball practice and games snd school” loudly, snatching the engagement ring before he left.
“ your name, will you marry me??” el nube asked. He was so hot and big and strong. His piercing green orbz looked deep into my brown speres, lovingly
“Yes aone yes !! i love you sm!!!”” I responded. Then he slipped the rinf on my finger and we were husband and spouse!!
“Good, because we still need you to be dateko cartel’s accountant baby. But not just that kind of accountatn. We also need you to be our tik tok accountant ;) because your the only person we can trust. “ he said with a wink.
“As long as i can play three cheers for sweet revenge when i go on stage xD” i said and everyone in the room chortled. Being the spouse to the narco that ran the most powerful cartel in miyagi wasnt so bad
Then inheard my alarm go off...
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a/n: thank you sm for readinG!!! Please be sure to like/comment/subscribe to seee more cool content like this ;)) also plz don’t be mean this is my frist writing ever and i kno it suxxxx but ots’ okie. Anyways blep im gonna go watch some dan and phil #PHAN if you don’t ship this gtfo my fic srsly..