SMFH This Felt Like Physical Assault On My Brain Zee, I Dont Know How You One Upd Wattpad But You Did

SMFH this felt like physical assault on my brain zee, I don’t know how you one up’d wattpad but you did <333

a/n: okay so what do you get when you combine @undermattsun ‘s fever dream of a server with a bunch of whores that grew up on wattpad? well the kidnapped by haikyuu collab of course. the fact that this is the first ever thing i’ve ever written is fitting. it was very fun and nostalgic though make sure to check out the other teams and suffer like the rest of us did writing them.

a/n 2: tw wattpad tw cocaine tw no editing and a lot of typos tw i wrote the majority of this high

wc: 800

My name is y/n and i’m just a regular student at dateko hs. Today I woke up and put my long black curly hair in space buns and slipped on my chemical romance shirt (a/n: their my favorite band uwu, if you don’t like frank iero gtfo he’s a precius cinammon bunnnnn) with black skinny jeans and vans then i did my eyeliner and put on some mscare. Other girls at my school do full faces of makeup but i am so lazyyyy haha blep, i guess you could say i’m not like them :P

ANyways i finished my morning routine and left ot school. I was on my way to school when a truck pulled up to me with teh words sateko scribbed on the side. Out of nowhere, three tall guys come up to me and kidnap me111!!!!!! They put a blinfold on me and tied my hands together >.> then they threw me in te back of teh truck “we got them’ i heard one of them say. “échala a la mamalona alv” (a/n: f*ck it, throw them in the whip) i head someone say before i blaked out.

~later~

when i woke up i was in a dark room and i started creaming “WHO AM I AND WHAT DID yoU DO TO ME”?? I felt strong hands undo the blindfold. WHen my brown obs were free from the darkness of the blindfold I saw a group of guys in volleyball uniforms and tejanas (a/n: that means cowboy hats in spanish xD ) standing before me. “We are the volleyball team, turned drug cartel Dateko and from now on you’ll be our accountant” the brown haired man grimaced darkly with malice.

“I WAS KIDNAPPED BY A DRUG CARTELL?!?!?!??” i screamed!

“Kinda??” the tall boy who looked like th e yellow angry bird spoke up. “calm down y/n. My name is koganegawa btw, but you can call me koganewga :) everyone here calls me el canario (a/n: this means the canry lolll) though”

“How do you know my name” I asked.

“We go to schoo l with you y/n. I’m pretty sure el nube (the cloud) is in the same class as you?” kogangeawa responded.

“Who is el nube? An why do you hace dumb nicknames for everyone?””

“ugh , the cloud is Aone takonabuu, and we gave each other nicknames because any narco worth mentioning has one ” said futakuchi

“Who are you anyway? And how are you narcos and in high school?? nd why’s you chose me to be ur account ant??” you retorted, annoyed bc uGH.

“well my name’s futakuchi, and im el jefe (a/n: the boss) around these parts”

“And what parts ar these exactly?”

“And what parts ar these exactly?”

“Well our volleyball/cocaine supply closet of corse. And Let me finish talking peasant” el jefe responded. “Canario please finish explaining it to them, i need to.. Take care of something... ” he said mysteriously then left the room.

“Yeah so basic ly we needed to raise money so our volleyball team could go to the games in sendai, and no one wanted The Iron Wall’s burnt ass coockies so we decided to fundraise thru drug cartel, adn we neeed you to look thru the expenses because we aren’t making as much money as before O.O and your’e the smartest person in my remedial math class” el canario, koganawa said. (a/n: i actually suck at math xD idk numbers are hard T.T)

i looked thru their books and said “the reason why you aren’t making as much money is because someone’s been stealing cocaina.”

“wow , how do you know?” asked el pelos de elote, Kamasaki asked inquistively

“Because el jefe has snuck out three cocaine filled volleyballs since koganejwa started talking” i responded and the whole room GASPEDD!!!

“JEFE WHYYYYY??” moniwa groaned.

“I was tired of sharing the profit with you idiots, and also I wanted to have money so i could buy an engagement ring for y/n.” futakuchi screamed and i felt my cheeks blushed a deep mahogany. OMG he was proposing?!?!?? (a/n: bet you didn;t see that coming teehee

I can’t believe that lil ol me who was suuuper normal and plain but totally not like the other boring people at my school was getting proposed to by the DATEKO CARTEL leader. “Jefe, I acce-”

Just as i was about to accept, EL NUBE slammed through the door of the supply closet.

“futacoochie, I know what you’ve been doing, and i know you’re planning on marrying y/n l/n/ a/s/l l/g/b/t so you can frame them for leading the cartel and i can’t let you do that” aone yelled. “Because i love them” i was in shock. Futakoochy was gonna use me. (a/n boys suck) I was beyond mad. Then Aone grabbed el jefe tightly and forced him out of the supply closet yelling at him “we better never see you again, except for at volleyball practice and games snd school” loudly, snatching the engagement ring before he left.

“ your name, will you marry me??” el nube asked. He was so hot and big and strong. His piercing green orbz looked deep into my brown speres, lovingly

“Yes aone yes !! i love you sm!!!”” I responded. Then he slipped the rinf on my finger and we were husband and spouse!!

“Good, because we still need you to be dateko cartel’s accountant baby. But not just that kind of accountatn. We also need you to be our tik tok accountant ;) because your the only person we can trust. “ he said with a wink.

“As long as i can play three cheers for sweet revenge when i go on stage xD” i said and everyone in the room chortled. Being the spouse to the narco that ran the most powerful cartel in miyagi wasnt so bad

Then inheard my alarm go off...

+++++++++

a/n: thank you sm for readinG!!! Please be sure to like/comment/subscribe to seee more cool content like this ;)) also plz don’t be mean this is my frist writing ever and i kno it suxxxx but ots’ okie. Anyways blep im gonna go watch some dan and phil #PHAN if you don’t ship this gtfo my fic srsly..

Adopted... by THEM?!! (*MSBY story*)

actual a/n: I DEEPLY APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT LIES AHEAD. it’s a mad dream formatted in early FFN days pre-2010 and contents of circa 2012-2015 wattpad/quotev. went back to ask young belle for assistance to power through this. we really came full circle;; or maybe half circle idk

THANK U MIKI @undermattsun for this dReAmY  “Kidnapped by HQ” WHOREHOUSE COLLAB!! other teams kidnapping stories are right here !! THANK U RIA MY APHRIADITE @aoyukai for this INCREDIBLY AMAZING BANNER!! AND MOST IMPORTANTLY .shoyokuns .nectarous .iwaasfairy​ .animatedrapture .xeilian  FBRV2; LOAFS OF MY LIFE MY WHORES; for reassuring and not letting me slide too far into this headspace (and pulling me out) lmfaoao

Title: Adopted by… THEM ?!!

Author: Bokugaos (kouteru ><)

Genre: Drama, Romance

Length: 2.4 k

Disclaimer: I don’t own MSBY and any Haikyuu characters. If i did that would be so cool XD

Authors Note: YOOHOOOOO I’M BACK!!! But this is the first story I’ve written in a while, and i’m pretty rusty so this kinda sux >_o Anyways, BEWARE OF SPOILERS. THIS CONTAINS INFORMATION FROM THE MANGA so please don’t kill me if you spoil yourself. *terrible thoughts enter mind…. bashing brain with torches of fire….* >A< *screams inwardly at herself* SHANNARO!!@ 

well here it is. ENJOY! (I hope… lol…)

CHAPTER 1: The Day I Got Kidnapped

~*~*~*~*~

*this morning*

(y/n)’s POV

my alarm clock ran. I threw it to the wall. TAKE THAT YOU STUPID CLOCK. Hahahahahaha :D but then, i realized it’s monday. I hate my life. But do you know what i hate even more? 

My mom. She hates me too. Before you judge me, let me show you the proof. 

“Wake up Isabella!!!! Time for breakfastl!!!” I heard my mom yell. See?

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The way you describe kageyama kills me 😭 “an angry blueberry with furrowed eyebrows throws a milk carton” like COME ON that’s perfect LMAO

kageyama could kabedon me to the floor whenever and wherever 🧍🏽‍♀️

i was??? taken hostage by the schweiden adlers ??

adlers x fem!reader

wc: 1.1k

prompt: mistaking you for your middle blocker brother, the schweiden adlers kidnap you and hold you hostage?? 😯 will you find you way home? or will you find you way into their harets 😍 keep reading to fidn out!!!! if you don’t like don’t read!! constructive criticism only pls don’t be mean 😠

warnings: circa 2012 wattpad crack fanfic, opposite of proofread, written while a little bit tipsy

the kidnapped by hq masterlist can be found here! everyone else on the list is an insanely talented writer, i encourage you to check out their other works after joining me in losing as many brain cells as possible!!

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ALMOST ASKED WHO THIS WAS LIKE “🥰️🥰️” BUT ITS FUCKINNG OVEHRHAULLLLLLL

BYE BYE BYE BYE 

Bitch in Heat Stuck Under Debris Gets WRECKED

a miki mouse whorehouse collab, the m.list you can find here 

cw: sexual harrassment, abo themes, dubcon kinda

as the poor quality picture can’t really show you, I got stuckage and I chose Bakugo with the finishing touch of making it ABO <3 It’s also two days late but shhhhh we don’t talk about it uwu also 2.7 words of pain enjoy 

katsuki bakugou is becoming a thorn in your side.

you’ve both been metaphorically and somewhat literally glued to each others sides since highschool. it’s not necessarily a bad thing, to be quite frank katsuki is something of a deterrent in a world of second genders and pheromones— something you capitalized on in high school.

being an omega hero isn’t something entirely world shattering, but it’s a position that comes with lots of stereotypes— stereotypes you fought tooth and nail to fight against in your younger years. being one of four omegas in your class was...irritating, to say the least. lots of preconceived notions that you needed to be helped with trivial things, and while your classmates intentions came from a good place it was maddening. save for katsuki, back when he had no restraint with his anger and aggression, he didn’t coddle you like your classmates did. Labeled a brute for his actions towards his omega classmates in trivial interaction or sparring, you thrived on the normality— katsuki was an ass to everyone. Your omega was placated, finally encountering an alpha who wasn’t belittling her with preconceived daintiness.

it was easy to hang near katsuki, ignoring the atrocity that was his vocabulary. eventually like the rest of the peanut gallery that was the bakusquad, you just existed alongside katsuki— which meant that you grew on him. katsuki swears up and down that you’re all a nuisance but you’ve seen him go up to bat for all you at some point, you knew you’d all made some sort of ragtag pack with one another. this was rather amazing to you at the time, not to sell yourself short but you’d never really imagined belonging to a close knit group of friends— especially realizing that they understood when it was appropriate to step in for you. katsuki in particular had a knack for being at the right place at the right time.

During your second year you fumbled.

interning with miruko had its perks, a top 5 hero with raw strength, cunning, and the drive to just keep going— and an omega. landing and internship with her had been a dream, even more-so when you learned she’d been watching you since your first year because of the festival. bright eyed and eager, nothing could have dampened your spirits— neither katsuki and his usual moody behavior or the standoffish alpha from shiketsu. yes, you all had landed an internship with miruko and part of you was...worried? katsuki had never looked down on heroes based on their second genders but you couldn’t speak for the shiketsu alpha, both alphas interning under an established omega hero put your inner omega on edge— you didn’t quite know why though. but you chose to squash the feeling and enjoy your internship with who was essentially your idol and continue on.

then you started getting sexually harassed.

his name was omori kisai and he was the worst. hailing from shiketsu, known for their dignified schooling, he was far from it. salacious comments dropped when no one was listening, less that appropriate touching when passing by and just general ick that had your skin crawling and omega snarling. it was easy to brush it off as banter the first time, section off the awkward contact as an accident. The second time you made it clear the comments were not liked and the touches far from appropriate, after the third time you’d snap an insult or have to hold a trembling fish from making contact. but it was coming to a head and your suppressors could only do so much to hide your souring scent. looking back you should have said something, but your pride had told you that it was a necessary step to overcome and push through— that he wouldn’t be the last. it weighed you down, day by day, a heavy cloud that wouldn’t let up. one particular bad timed comment brought tears to eyes and shame to your entire being.

thankfully, as time would come to show, katsuki tended to nose into your dilemmas.

the day prior to the abrupt end of your harassment  you’d been tripped up by a villian and had fallen a sizeable distance into a pitiful excuse of pond. of course, omori had taken this as an open invitation to mock you and then offer you his shitty hero costume cloak— not without hinting at you returning the favor ‘somehow’. yeah right. you had stomped off, unaware of katsuki’s presence nearby. come next day, omori avoided you like the plague and katsuki not so subtly stuck to your side like an unwilling chowchow— all growly and temperamental. but his constant presence rubbed his scent off on you. despite his less than chummy attitude, you weren’t mad; katsuki smelled like cinnamon spice and whiskey with hints of burnt caramel— absolutely overpowering yet decadent all the same.

you tried not to think about just how much you enjoyed his smell. your omega was purring about it.

the omori incident was the beginning of katsuki’s subtle hovering. though you pried the truth of his involvement in omori leaving you alone after offhandedly bringing it up to mina and jirou one day, katsuki helped you out of situations as invasively as possible time and time again. by the end of third year it was no secret to you of your classmates teasing of your relationship with katsuki; an amiable and prideful omega and the irritable powerhouse of an alpha. you brushed it off because...well you didn’t know why, but katsuki’s seeming indifference to the teasing had you quelling every jittery happiness your inner omega expressed at the thought of katsuki being your alpha.

now, three years out of highschool and beginning to climb the ranks, katsuki was becoming testy— and for the life of you the reason couldn’t be more opaque.  you both work at the same agency, and due to the nature of your quirks you spend all your time together due to their compatibility. compatibility was a bitter word for you, katsuki and yours supposed compatibility had been talked about for some time now but the sobering reality is that perhaps you two were simply good friends— and now sharing your omegas endearment for the explosive alpha had reared its ugly head.

your heat was a week away and already you felt the familiar fatigue begin to lap at you alongside general moodiness. all that coupled with the annoying need to be around katsuki was maddening and sprinkling his own extra grouchy attitude on top and you were ready to snap. in hindsight, that should have been your cue to take an extra week off— instead you chose to once again to champion pride instead of your intellect.

you could have stayed home this morning, you should have.

patrol had been slow, not particularly unusual but favored nonetheless. face raised to the slowly dipping sun you couldn’t help but sigh, the warmth of the late afternoon sun was heaven sent-- you could sleep standing up with much issue. it remided you katsuki, strangely enough though most things did recently.

the sound of screaming and rushing feet shook you from your drowsy stupor. Set on alert, you spied the source of the sudden discordance and found several villains causing a commotion. quickly calling for backup for you before finding yourself facing a hulking mass of green charging you head on. tranquility gone, it was time to fight.

the ache in your body could not be more apparent but your humiliation ran more rampant in your system than any ache or pain could, your fatigue more than present as your body hummed with warmth. leave it to you to get stuck face down and ass up amongst the trashed ruins of what was an office building, weighed down between a broken desk and a collapsed bookshelf. the villain you had engaged with, some self-named idiot calling himself cruel croc, packed a punch and your bruised body and rendered office floor were a testament to that. of course, you’d done quite the bit of damage to him yourself before the entire floor collapsed underneath you both— rendering the meathead unconscious under a rather hefty pile of concrete and debris whereas you were pinned and to utterly weak to do much.

the thrum of your heat was beginning its path of vengeance through your body, feeling too pliant to get yourself out of what was otherwise easy to fix problem. you were feeling it, bad. the heat of your clothed cunt was beginning to become too apparent, unconsciously squeezing your thighs to provide relief to no avail. no, this could not be happening right now of all times. but as much as your inner monologue fought to try and will away your heat, the warmth was becoming too much and sudden breeze of wind had you trembling and whining. the feel of slick beginning to wet your hero costumes spandex set your hazing thoughts into sudden panic, if cruel croc woke up or if another villain came across you would they be above...the thought alone could’ve made you puke. flashbacks to second year had you bucking wildly for freedom, you wouldn’t let anyone have the opportunity for—

“ OI! Shitty ‘mega were are you? Are you—“

you stilled, biting hard to keep your mouth shut. your omega was whimpering, desperate for the alpha, HER alpha to relieve her from her heat. on a normal day she could melt into his scent, but right now? she could drown in it and die happy. with his scent getting stronger the closer katsuki clambered toward you, the more the head haze grew-- the slicker your thighs became. the whimper you let loose was pitiful, the need for some sort of stimulation to your cunt becoming near painful the longer you remained so close yet so far from katsuki. the pathetic little “alpha” you whined as you heard him quickly approach from behind would’ve been utterly embarrassing to you in any other situation.

but if you could have turned to see katsuki, you would’ve been met with the look of an unmistakably feral alpha-- pupils dilated to hell, fingernails blackened, and canines elongated and sharpened. but what you lacked in sight, you could hear and smell.

katsuki was the definition of an alpha as is, but the way he was pushing his scent out was like a big red sign that screamed ‘DANGER’. To you, it had you feeling utterly submissive-- if you weren’t already face down and ass up you certainly would’ve moved into position.  practically salivating at the thought of what katsuki could do--

the heated palm on the globe of your ass is thought pausing, the sudden heated touch coaxing a sugary sweet moan from deep in your throat-- the small touch quickly turning to rough palming at your moaning. tt feels so good, but you want more. need more. 

“Please, need more Alpha” it's breathy and whiny, something you're far from day to day but it feels too natural escaping you. mewling at the ghost of a touch over your clothed cunt, your blubbering when it presses harder-- escalating you to tears of frustration when it ceases. practically feeling katsuki’s harsh breathing near your cunt you begin to wiggle and wail with all manner of unrestrained vigor; chanting alpha and katsuki like a prayer and begging for relief like a sinner for forgiveness. it’s working, you know it is, if katsuki’s breathing is anything to go by but he refuses any further touching. you want katsuki everyday, but right now you need him. 

“Only want you Katsuki, please it’s only been you,” you hiccup your words through a shrill plea, but the tearing of your soaked spandex sends an excited chill down your spine. your legs tremble with excitement when katsuki grips the tops of your thighs and spreads them-- revealing your drooling cunt. it’s both too much and not enough all at once and you wiggle once more, yelping from a smack to your left ass cheek. it’s not particularly painful, not even as katsuki rubs over it right after the hit, but it quells your wiggling nonetheless. you open your mouth to urge him on but he beats you to it.

“No one else, you got that ‘mega? No one gets to see you like this, no gets to touch you like this-- your mine,” he punctuates his declaration with two of his deliciously thick fingers in your cunt and you squeal, “ you got that? I’m your alpha, always have been always will be.” nodding despite yourself, you struggle for words with his fingers pumping in and out alongside the ghost of pressure on your clit “Yes! Yes, I’m yours Katsuki!” you babble your words already teetering on the precipice of your first orgasm. it takes a pickup in pace and a rough rub along your clit and your wailing, slick streaming down your thighs as your first orgasm crashes into you.

despite the pleasant haze in your head, you faintly hear zippers being undone and the shuffling of clothes. licking your lips, you perk your ass up as much as the heavy bookcase allows, purring in excitement like a spoiled cat. The rough grab of your hips leaves you gasping, feeling the length of katsukis dick along your thigh-- long and heavy. you're salivating as he lines himself up with your weeping cunt, ramming his entire length in you with little regard. stars shoot across your vision and your ears deafen, crying out at being so full. it feels wonderful being stuffed this full and you babble it to katsuki. if you could see him, you would see just how prideful and smug he looked-- only he can take care of you like this, none of the other shitty alphas can take care of you this well.

katsuki sets a rough pace, drawing himself out slowly like he’s aiming for you to feel every vein of his dick before slamming back into you. your poor cunt clenches sporadically, drawing groans and growls from your alpha and all you can do is choke on broken moans because the way he feels churning your insides is downright sinful. you felt a band begin to tighten in your belly, your broken moans evolving into babbling-- how good katsuki was making you feel and how he was the only one who made you feel this good. it spurred him onward, fucking into you with more vigor alongside groans of your names and his own praise for you. “Good fuckin ‘mega”, “Takin’ me so well”, and “My perfect little mate” were some of the praise you could catch and had you preening. All of it combined you felt the band tighten and you couldn’t stop yourself from sobbing out. feeling the base of Katsuki’s length begin to swell, you could only salivate at the thought of being knotted.

“Want your knot Katsuki! Alpha I need it”

 at your blubbering demand, katsuki faltered in pace for only a moment before a deep mix of a groan and growl ripped from his throat. grabbing and bending your leg upwards he fucked deeper and faster into your battered cunt, the new angle sending you hurtling into your orgasm. eyes rolled back and tongue, you felt utterly boneless-- momentarily brain dead before screaming out at Katsuki knotting you, his own groan of pleasure mixing with yours as he filled you impossibly full with his seed. 

 trembling underneath him, you were only a fraction aware of movement above you before the weight of the bookcase vanished from you. weakly you glance back up at your alpha. your surprised to see just how feral he looks, no doubt you’ve pushed him into his rut. whimpering as he moves down upon you, he nibbles and kisses along your jaw and neck before biting down on you scent gland. a flash a white hot pain curtailed by just as intense pleasure wracks your wrecked body but the dopy look of happiness pulls a low purr from katsuki.

you wanna say something, anything, but your too exhausted and as katsuki knot subsides you let another weak whimper as he removes himself-- feeling his seed spill from your battered cunt. he pulls a quiet moan from you as he gathers some of it a pushes back in-- and a glance at his smug face lets you know that he’s decidedly not done with you yet.

ok for the quick real author’s note uhh nobody talk to me about this ever again, hope u enjoy, here’s the kidnapped by haikyuu collab mlist 

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