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Accidentally Kissing Him Goodbye | Park Jaehyung

It had been three weeks since your boyfriend of four and a half years broke up with you. You had begged him to give you a reason, but he didn’t seem to have one. This only broke your heart even more. You were so head-over-heels in love with the kid that the sudden break-up caused you a tremendous amount of heartache.

If it wasn’t for your best friend, you wouldn’t be in this club right now— you’d be crying in your now empty and cold bed, something you had made quite a habit over the past couple of weeks.

You had no interest in looking for somebody, but you surely didn’t mind getting drunk at the bar to get Jae off your mind. It seemed like he was engraved there, like you had gotten a tattoo of him, his face, his smell, his laugh— everything. He wouldn’t leave. He was the first thing you thought of as soon as you woke up, and the last thing you thought about when you fell asleep (after crying your little heart out).

No matter how much you had cried, it seemed like you’d never run out of tears. You were certain you would stay this way forever.

You downed your third drink before hearing his laugh, making your heart shrink and tears prickle in the back of your eyes. He still wouldn’t get out. You sniffed and lifted your head up to order another drink, this one a little stronger than the last. You wanted him out, no— needed him out. He was just making everything harder. You thanked the bartender and gulped the burning liquid quickly, shivering as you set the glass back down. Then you heard it again; his beautiful, soulful laugh you fell in love with only days after meeting him.

You shook your head and grabbed at your hair, letting your tears gather in your eyes once more as you desperately tried to get Jae out of your head. When it wouldn’t stop, you just decided that there was nothing that stop it, not even a generous amount of alcohol. Finally making up your mind and deciding to go home, you slammed a twenty dollar bill on the bar and stood up to leave, bending down to grab your coat and put it on. You tried so hard to keep your emotions together until you got home, maybe even until you got in a cab.

Anywhere else but here.

You lifted your head up to fix your collar, and that’s when you saw him. Jaehyung. He was sitting at a booth with his band mates, a glass in his hand as he chatted and laughed along with the four other men around him. The sight of them only made you gasp silently. You hadn’t just lost Jae, you lost Sungjin, Brian, Wonpil, and Dowoon. They stopped talking to you after Jae broke things off. You didn’t mean to stare, but you just couldn’t tear your eyes off of them.

You didn’t even realize you had been staring until Wonpil’s eyes met yours, making your heart race against your ribs. His eyebrows furrowed, and he tapped Jae’s arm to get his attention, pointing over at you and whispering something in his ear. You watched as Jae’s smile instantly faded, and his eyes met yours instinctively. You watched as he mouthed your name, making Dowoon, Sungjin, and Brian turn around. They gulped and just looked over at you awkwardly.

You felt so embarrassed. You placed a hand over your mouth and rushed out of the club as fast as you could before they saw you break down. The dam behind your eyes finally broke as you kept replaying Jae’s reaction in your mind. Your heart was in the pit of your stomach, and it wouldn’t stop hurting. You slid down the wall of the building, sobbing harshly before shoving your face into your knees. “Y/N?”

You gasped and lifted your head up, vision blurry but still somehow being able to make him out. Jae. “What’s wrong?” He asked softly. You only shook your head, biting your lip to keep another heavy sob in. “Hey, it’s okay. Don’t cry.” He spoke gently like always, making your body shake with another sob. He dropped to the ground beside you, but kept his hands to himself just in case.

“How can I not? I-I mean, I just saw my ex at a club only three weeks after he broke up with me. I’m not you. I-It’s still hard for me, Jaehyung. I’m not over you yet, okay? So I think I have e-every reason to cry.” You snapped, wiping your runny nose with your sleeve. Jae gulped and he could have sworn his heart had shattered in his chest.

“What do you mean? I know you’re not me. And that’s not what I meant, Y/N. You’re totally allowed to cry, I just.. I hate seeing you cry. I always have. Especially when it’s because of me.” He whispered the last part, looking down at his lap sadly. You scoffed and shook your head in disbelief, more tears falling from your bleary eyes. Jae looked up at you in confusion.

“Oh stop acting like you give a shit. If you actually cared about me, you would have never left me. Or if you did, you would have given me a fucking reason. But no. You didn’t. You just left me without a reason.” You spoke, trying to sound strong but you only ended up sounding more weak in the end. “You’re just a coward.”

Jae’s body filled with anger at your words. He leaned forward to look at you, but you refused to look back at him. “Don’t you dare say that. I do care about you; I care about you so fucking much that I had to let you go. I don’t care what happens between us; you are never allowed to think that I don’t care about you or that I stopped loving you. Because that is not the case whatsoever.” He laughed humorlessly. “And yeah. Yeah, maybe I am a coward. But I just didn’t want to hurt you more than I already had. I know that doesn’t make it right, but I just thought that if I didn’t give you a reason you would move on faster. Of course I don’t want you to move on, but if it makes you happy, then I’m happy.”

Your bottom lip quivered at his words, and your fingers tightened around your coat. You hiccuped, trying to suppress the upcoming sob in your chest. “Why?” You looked over at him, finally allowing yourself to lock eyes with him. Jae’s eyes softened at the sight of your bloodshot ones. “Why did you do it? Why did you leave me? Why did you throw everything away? I thought you wanted to marry me? I thought you wanted to have a family with me? You-you’ve told me all these things over the years that only made you leaving even more hard on me.”

Jae’s eyes teared up at your words and he was quick to reassure you. “I did! I did want to marry you, I did want to have children with you! I do! I do want that all with you, still. I always have. Nothing will ever change that!” He exclaimed, sniffing softly.

“Then why, Jaehyung?” You whimpered weakly, your eyes searching his before they closed tightly as you cried.

“Because.” He took a deep breath before speaking. “Because I was always on tour. I was always gone. I was never home with you, I was never able to spend time with you. Was never there when you needed me. Was never there to please you. Was never there to kiss you, to hug you, to make love to you. Never got to wake up next to you, or hold you at night. Never got to do any of the shit you deserved. I wasn’t good enough, honey. I’ll never be good enough for you. And I finally came to terms with that, and decided to end things before I went on tour and just left you all alone again. I’m sorry, Y/N, I really am. I regret it every second of my life. But I truly thought it was what was best for you. For your happiness. You would fall in love with a man that would be there for you whenever you needed him. Would be there to help you raise your children. Would be there through everything. I couldn’t be that; I can’t be that.”

His words only crushed your heart even more than you thought was possible. You shook your head rapidly, your shaky hands reaching out for his. He instantly took your hands against his, pressing your hands against his chest as he cried softly. “No. That’s not fair. You don’t understand. I didn’t care! Yeah, I was sad sometimes, but you were doing what made you happy and I understood that! I was happy for you. I was proud of you. I never wanted anybody else, only you. I was made for you, Jae. Nobody else. I belong to you, and you belong to me. I can’t live without you. The thought of having someone else’s babies kills me. The thought of marrying somebody else and being with them forever makes me sick to my stomach. I can’t. Jae, I-I love you. It’s you. It’s only you, and it’ll always be you. Please. Please don’t leave me alone anymore, I can’t take it. Please come back home, Jae, I’m so tired of doing this without you. I need you.” You pleaded, tears cascading down your face as you squeezed his hands tightly.

“Shh, stop it. Stop crying. Come here.” Jae whispered, pulling you by your arms to crash into his chest. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

You hugged him as tightly as you could, holding him closely to you in fear he would just disappear into thin air. After a few moments, he pulled you away from him and wiped at his face, turning away as he cleared his throat. “I’m gonna, uh, I’m gonna call you a cab to take you home, okay? I’ll wait with you until it gets here, but then I have to go back inside before the boys get worried.”

Your heart dropped once again, and your jaw dropped. He was just leaving you again. All of his words meant nothing. He didn’t really love you as much as he said he did, and you were stupid enough to even fall for it. You stayed silent, too tired to argue again. You moved away from him and hugged yourself, repeating encouraging words to yourself silently as you tried to tell yourself maybe things just weren’t meant to be.

Jae was too caught up in his own guilt to realize you had distanced yourself from him. It wasn’t until the cab was honking in front of the two of you that he was back in reality. Before you could walk away, he grabbed your arm and pulled you against his body. He squeezed you tightly, and pressed a soft kiss to the crown of your head. “Things will get better, honey. I promise you they will. You just have to give it time. Trust me. You’ll stop hurting soon enough, and you’ll meet the love of your life and you’ll forget all about me. But that doesn’t mean I’ll ever stop caring about you or loving you, alright? I will love you forever, I mean that, okay? Now hurry up and get home before you freeze to death.” He smiled weakly before letting go of you.

You, however, were too caught up in things to realize what was going on. Before retracting yourself from him, you leaned up and pecked his lips before letting go of him. “Thanks for the cab, I’ll pay you b—” You stopped walking to the cab once you realized what you had done. You froze and heat rushed to your face. Your fingers grazed over your lips, and you turned around slowly to face Jae. His own fingers were on his lips, and he was staring at you with enlarged pupils that were starting to match his swollen heart. “Jae, I’m so sorry, it was out of habi—”

Before you could finish your sentence, Jae’s hands were on your face and his lips were back on yours. You gasped in surprise but when you realized he wasn’t going to stop anytime soon, you closed your eyes and kissed him back despite your buzzing mind telling you it’ll only cause you more hurt in the end.

“So am I still taking you home, or what? Cause I really got to get going if not.” The cab driver called out of the open window. Jae pulled away from your lips to tell him he could just leave, returning to you seconds later. “Alright. Good luck, kids. You two sure are cute.” He waved before driving off.

The cab driver’s words rung in your ears and your eyes burned with a fresh set of tears that didn’t take long to fall as you continued to kiss Jae. Jae felt the salty tears on his lips, making his heart ache and twist in his chest. He pulled away, resting his forehead against yours. His eyes peered into yours as he whispered down at you, his thumbs rubbing your red cheeks. “Hey. Why are you crying? It’s okay.”

You squeezed your eyes shut as you forced more tears out, Jae’s thumbs wiping them all away. “I-I just.. I’m just thinking about how much I’m going to miss you when I go home tonight.” You admitted, reaching up and wiping your nose, making Jae smile softly at you. “I’m sorry for ruining the moment. I can get another cab if you want.”

“Hey. Listen to me.” Jae pulled you closer, his eyes locked with yours. Your breath hitched and his hands gripped your face tightly yet softly. “You’re not going home alone tonight. You’re never going home alone again, do you understand me? I’m never letting you go again. You were right, baby. You belong to me, and I belong to you. We were made for each other. I am so, so sorry. I love you, Y/N. So, so much.”

Your eyes widened, and your jaw dropped slightly. Jae couldn’t help but chuckle at your reaction, his thumbs rubbing at your jaw. “A-Are you sure? Like, you really mean it?” You questioned, your eyes tearing up for the 100th time that night. Jae smiled and nodded.

“I’ve never been so sure of anything in my life, babygirl. Now come here.” He mumbled before pulling you against him again, his lips finding yours in an instant. You immediately kissed him back, your hands finding their way to the hairs on the back of his neck. “God, I’ve missed you so much.” He muttered against your lips, making you giggle.

“I’ve missed you so much, too, baby.” You replied before pecking his lips. He hooked his hands underneath of your thighs, lifting you up. You squealed at his sudden action, your legs wrapping around his waist as you grabbed his neck tightly. He reached up and attached your lips again, this time with more passion and emotion than before. Your heart swelled in your chest at his actions.

That’s when you felt a tap on your knee. You pulled away from Jae, turning your head around in confusion. Jae looked behind you as well.

“Took you long enough.” Brian teased, rolling his eyes. You blushed, wrapping your arms even tighter around Jae as you hid your face in the crook of his neck in embarrassment. Jae chuckled and pressed a kiss to your ear before setting you back down, wrapping an arm around your waist as he outstretched his other hand to his pals.

“Sorry for leaving and ruining the night, guys.” Jae apologized as he shook Sungjin’s hand, and hugged Brian, Dowoon, and Wonpil with his empty arm. You turned your cheek to rest on Jae’s chest so you could look at the boys.

“Don’t be, man. You have no idea how happy we are for you guys. It’s not right when you guys are away from each other. This makes all the more sense.” Sungjin replied, pointing to the two of you pulled flush against each other. You blushed and smiled, mouthing ‘thank you’ to him. You missed him the most out of the boys (besides Jae) but of course, you wouldn’t tell them that. “Come here, kiddo. It’s been too long. I’m Y/N deprived.” He motioned with his head, opening his arms towards you.

“Yeah, you’re one to talk.” Jae snorted, letting go of your waist as you began to walk over to them. He patted your butt encouragingly and watched with fond eyes as you stood on your toes to hug Sungjin, your face contorted into pure happiness. He smiled at the sight of his best friends, his hands deep in his pockets as his heart swelled in his chest.

“Missed you, sweetheart.” Sungjin whispered, his hand rubbing up and down your back before pulling away. Brian then opened his arms, to which you happily obliged.

“It’s good to have you back, Y/N/N.” He told you before letting you go and watching as you walked over to Wonpil, who hugged you tightly. He was your favorite person ever (besides Dowoon) and he missed you so much.

“I missed you so much,” He whispered into your hair. “Come over soon, yeah? We can play Minecraft. It’s been too long.”

Last was Dowoon. He didn’t care too much for physical contact, so he side-hugged you and left you with an airy kiss to your head. “Missed you.”

You let go of him and jogged back over to Jae, who wrapped his arm around you. “Thanks, guys. Really. It means a lot. Oh, and tell JYP I’m not gonna be there tomorrow, I’ve got a lot to catch up on.” He smirked, making you gasp and smack his chest. He laughed and kissed your forehead. “I’m just kidding, babe. Kind of.”

You rolled your eyes and waved goodbye to the four men who were starting to crawl into the newly parked cab along the curb where yours had previously been. “Bye, guys!”

“Bye! Love you guys!” Wonpil exclaimed before Brian pulled him by the sweatshirt and into the car.

“We love you, too!” Jae called back, waving goodbye before they shut the door and drove off to the dorms. “Come on, babygirl. Let’s go home. I can’t wait any longer. It’s been too long, and I need to show you how much I’ve missed you and how sorry I am.”

Your Kid Gets Jealous | Kang Younghyun

You sat up on the bed with your back pressed against the headboard behind you. You stared down lovingly at your newest born in your arms, who was happily drinking milk from your breasts. You trailed your finger across his cheek soothingly, your lips pointing up into a smile. “You’re doing so well, baby.” You encouraged.

The door opened, and in came your husband with your three year old on his hip. Your son rubbed at his eyes tiredly, a yawn escaping his swollen lips. Brian smiled at his son’s sleepy state, pressing a kiss to his cheek as he sat down on the bed with him in his lap. Your son leaned his head against his father’s chest, turning his attention to his mother and little sister. Brian’s hands sneaked underneath his son’s pajama shirt to rub at his bare back— something your son absolutely adored, especially early in the morning.

“Hey, baby,” You greeted him, looking down at him with a smile. “What are you doing up so early?”

“Daddy was being too loud.” He whined, making Brian softly chuckle, pressing a kiss to the boy’s messy bedhead. “And I needed to go potty.”

“He was being loud, wasn’t he?” You joked, earning a glare from your husband. “But hey, did you end up going to the bathroom?” Your son nodded and cuddled further into his father’s chest for more warmth. Brian squeezed him tighter to his body, his long fingers drawing various shapes along the boy’s skin. “That’s my good boy.”

“Is she eating well?” Brian asked you, stretching his neck to look at your daughter.

“Yeah, for the most part. She’s half asleep, but she’s still sucking, so.” You shrugged. Your son’s eyebrows furrowed, and he sat up on his father’s lap. This caught your guys’ attention. The young boy leaned forward to see what the two of you were talking about.

“What’s sissy doing?” He asked curiously.

“She’s eating, bubba. Member’ what we told you? Sissy isn’t old enough to eat the food you eat, yet.” Brian informed him, his hands still rubbing at the boy’s back.

“It doesn’t look like she’s eating,” Your son said quietly. “She just looks like she’s kissing mommy’s boobies.”

His comment made you and Brian crack up with laughter, only making the toddler upset with the feeling of humiliation and embarrassment. “Baby,” You managed between laughs. “She’s drinking the milk out of mommy’s boobs. That’s how she eats.”

“But I don’t eat like that..” He said, his shoulders slumping. “Mommy doesn’t let me drink her milk..”

His words made your heart to ache, but you couldn’t help but giggle. “You used to drink my milk, too, but you were too little to remember. Now it’s sissy’s turn.”

Brian tried his hardest not to burst out laughing, knowing it would only upset his son more. “But I want to drink milk like sissy.”

You looked at Brian hopelessly, making him clear his throat and look back at the boy in his lap. “You’re too old to drink mommy’s milk, kiddo. You’re a big boy, now— remember? You are a big boy, aren’t you?” He spoke gently to his son, his heart somewhat breaking at how heartbroken his son seemed. “If you really want milk, daddy will go get you some from the kitchen. Would you like that?” Brian tried.

“No,” He huffed, crossing his little arms over his chest. “I want mommy’s milk. Not kitchen milk. It don’t taste the same. And I want to be like sissy!”

“You’re too old, honey. I’m sorry.” You gave him an unapologetic smile, unsure of what to do at this point.

“And hey, I bet you she wants to be just like her big brother. You get to do cool stuff that she doesn’t. Like, you get to eat big-boy food, have playdates with your friends, go to daycare, you can read and spell your name. You can do a bunch of awesome stuff that she can’t do, so she probably feels the same way about you. Her cool big brother.” Brian told him before digging his fingers into his sides, making the boy squeal and throw himself into his father’s chest. You smiled at your boys, your heart swelling with pride.

“Do you really think so, daddy?” He asked once more after he had stopped tickling him. Brian smiled at him before placing both hands onto his cheeks.

“I know so,” He said, making the boy smile and nuzzle his face into his dad’s palms. “Now give daddy a kiss.”

The boy giggled and leaned forward, allowing his father to peck his lips. “Can I go play now, daddy?” He asked before Brian agreed, helping him down onto the floor. You two watched the boy run out of the bedroom with large smiles on your faces.

“Well, that was awkward.” You sighed heavily, throwing your head back and exhaling deeply. Brian laughed and scooted closer to you, wrapping an arm around your shoulder as he watched his daughter eat.

“It’s just the age, baby,” He told you, pressing a kiss to your bare shoulder as his thumb rubbed at your other one. “But hey, can you really blame him? I mean, I’m kind of jealous, too, honestly.” You rolled your eyes at his joke, shaking your head.

“Shush it, brat.”

You Distance Yourself | Park Sungjin

You were never one to depend on people. You’ve been a pretty independent person for as long as you could remember. But when you met Sungjin four months ago, everything changed. You two were hanging out every day, and you couldn’t stand to be away from him. You would make time during your already-hectic life to spend just an ounce of time with him. You couldn’t go one day without your boyfriend.

You hadn’t given it too much thought until recently, when you started to feel more and more attached to Sungjin. Late one night when you were laying in bed with your screaming thoughts, you had realized you were in love with Sungjin— that scared you.

You had never been in love before, and you never intended on falling in love with him in the first place. After coming to the realization, the thought never left your mind. That’s all you thought about— how in love you were with Sungjin, and how scared you were.

Your anxiety got the best of you, and you decided to start distancing yourself from him as much as possible. You thought that things were too good to be true, and if you were to fall in love with each other, you would just end up breaking up and you’d be heartbroken. So you decided to protect yourself from that future heartbreak.

You ignored his texts and calls, and pretended to be out of the house when he knocked on your door. He had a key you had given him a month ago, but he never used it unless he was concerned or worried. He never liked to invade your privacy, so he just never really used it.

With each passing day, things only got harder and harder. His texts were getting harder and harder to ignore.

Sungjin <3 — hey

Sungjin <3 — are things alright? like with us? and you ofc

Sungjin <3 — it’s been four days and you haven’t texted or called me back, and you’re never home anymore

Sungjin <3 — i’m sorry for whatever i did, baby, i really am. i miss you a fuck ton

Sungjin <3 — i’ll just leave u alone then, ok ? sorry for bothering you. see ya soon, ig

You sighed, and shut your phone off before shoving it into your back pocket. You couldn’t stop now, no way. This was only going to help you two in the end, anyway— at least that’s the way you looked at it.

You decided to take a walk to clear your head. Your emotions were all over the place, and you were honestly starting to debate on whether you made the right decision or not. Your gut ached as you thought about Sungjin and his messages, and you instinctively began to make your way to the park where he had taken you on your third date (and where the two of you shared your first kiss).

Your heart was confused. Were you supposed to stay with him and just deal with the heartache later? Or were you supposed to end things early so you couldn’t even have the chance of getting hurt? Were you selfish for thinking this way? Or were you selfless for thinking of the both of you in the long run?

You were so out of it and clouded by your own thoughts that you hadn’t noticed the man who was now sat beside you on the grass. “Hey.” He said sadly, almost as if he was talking to a stranger.

Your eyes widened, and you looked over at him quickly. Your heart raced, but quickly slowed down and began to break as you felt the awkward tension between the two of you. You two were never like this before you ruined things. You gulped, and shifted uncomfortably.

“I’ve been feeling kind of low the last couple of days, and coming here is the only thing that’s really been helping.” Sungjin admitted. You felt the hot tears at the back of your eyes start to burn, and you desperately tried to blink them away.

“Sungjin—” You started, your voice weak and brittle.

“Why?” He interrupted, his head shaking. “I just.. I don’t understand. I mean, I wouldn’t be mad at you for wanting space to yourself, or even if you wanted to break up, it’s just the fact that you’re ignoring me. That’s what hurts.”

“I’m sorry, Jinnie. I really am. This hasn’t been easy for me either, and I was so stupid to ignore you.” You shook your head. “I just got scared, and—”

“Of what?” Sungjin interrupted you, hurt and confusion evident in his features. “You shouldn’t be scared of anything when you’re with me, baby. I’m so sorry I didn’t make that clear, because obviously I haven’t been doing a good enough job of being there for you if you’re scared.”

You sighed heavily, digging your hands into your eyes. “That’s just it! That’s exactly why I’m scared, Sungjin. I’m scared because you’re so good to me— too good. I’ve fallen in love with you and I’m terrified. I don’t want to get hurt. I don’t want to break up, I don’t want to be apart from you. So I just thought that me distancing myself would help keep me from being heartbroken.”

Sungjin’s heart dropped and he sighed. “Y/N..” He whispered, his heart aching as you began to cry. “Come here, sweetheart. Don’t cry.” He allowed you to crawl into his lap, his arms wrapping you, his large hands rubbing up and down your back softly.

“I’m sorry, I really am. I didn’t mean to hurt you.” You whispered into his neck before pressing a few soft kisses to it, your heart fluttering when you felt Sungjin kiss your head.

“Don’t be, baby. I completely understand. But I promise you, you don’t need to be scared with me. You’re going to fall in love, and I’m going to catch you. You’ll never have to worry about getting your heart broken because I promise you right now— I will never break it. Never in a million years.”

Your eyes teared up once again, and you lifted your head up to look at him for the first time in weeks. “I love you, Sungjin.” You whispered.

“I love you, too, sweetheart.”

there you'll be || day6 [psj]

Warnings: major character death, heavy angst(?)

I won't control you, but MINORS DO NOT INTERACT. This is not for you, please.

Pairings: Park Sungjin/(F) Reader, implied past Yoon Dowoon/(F) Reader

Plot: What if you only have today to say goodbye?

Genre: Established Relationship

I keep a part of you with me,

And everywhere I am, there you'll be

This was written 8-9ish years ago, and re-written and posted on ao3 3 years ago.

This concept came from my sister's dream, and she asked me to write it, and probably the main reason why i decided to have an ao3 account lmao

This was originally written with a different fandom and pairing and was supposed to be a part of this fic universe i wrote (but didn't finish). Re-written so it can be better, I guess (hope)??? but the concept is still the same with some major changes tho

Reposted here because there is a tragic lack of day6/reader fics uwu

anyway, all readers are appreciated! luvluv

🕛

6:00 – 7:00 a.m.

Y/N woke up to an irritating sound. It was this shrill beeping sound that made her want to hurl the object at the wall.

When she opened her eyes, she reached for the alarm clock and turned it off. "Shut up," she said, exhausted, and looked at the time. 6:00 am.

For an ordinary Saturday morning, six am is way too early. After dropping out of the university from her second course and running away with Sungjin, Y/N's life has changed; from the simplest things like her sleeping pattern to the biggest ones like missing her family. She wouldn't say she regrets it, she just wishes the situation was different.

Her usual weekends start at nine, and she always wakes up before Sungjin does. She would often be the one to go down to make breakfast for the two of them.

Sometimes though, when struck with an ahem inspiration, she would wake him with a lazy hand job—or a blowie, whichever she prefers—until he slightly shifts position and fist the bed covers. Slowly peppering his hips with kisses until Sungjin groans in annoyance to whichever is rousing him from his beloved, peaceful sleep. Y/N has to stifle her laughter because she knows just how grumpy he is when woken up 'too early', but how he won't be able to stay mad at her. He'd smile down at her and say in that sexy just-woke-up voice of his that he'd go back to sleep so Y/N can go ahead with what shennanigans she was trying to do.

Today though, that was not the case. She has to get up early because the local high school she volunteers at made a weekend program for writing and music. Every second Saturday, she would be facilitating two classes; a writing workshop in the morning, and the music sessions in the afternoon. Sometimes, she would take Sungjin with her, and he would teach the students how to play the guitar.

After switching the alarm off, Y/N got up and stretched her legs and arms, loving the way her joints popped as sleep from her muscles fade.

It's also during this time of the day, however, that she can't help but think of her life before this.

It has been five years. Y/N is sure her children doesn't recognize her anymore. After running away with the boyfriend of her ex-husband's twin brother, she's sure Dowoon would never let her be a part of their children's lives anymore, no matter how much he used to love her. Betrayal would definitely kill people.

Y/N padded sleepily to the bathroom to take a quick shower.

After getting ready for the day, she went down to cook some breakfast for them. Before leaving the house, she decides to check on Sungjin and wake him up early for his doctor's appointment. He sleeps through the alarm, and might miss his appointment.

She opens the door to their room quietly and see Sungjin's still sleeping form on the bed. She gently shakes him, just enough to wake him up.

"Sungjin?" She shakes him again when he doesn't respond. "Babe? Wake up."

Sungjin hums, cracking an eye open. "I'd be going," she says with a soft smile.

"Hmf... don't you want me to go with you?" He asks sleepily as he rubs his eyes. Y/N shakes her head, running her fingers through his hair.

"It's fine. You have your appointment today with Dr. Park, remember? Wouldn't wanna miss that." Sungjin pouts, and she smiles. "I'll bring home that Kimchi stew you like."

"Yeah?" He smiles at her hopefully through bleary eyes.

"Yes. So get your lazy ass up now, or you'll have to rush again." She slaps his bum and kisses his lips before she stands up. "I'll be home early. Get up now, 'kay? Love you." She shuts the door to the bedroom just in time to hear the faint and almost muffled love you too from Sungjin.

She leaves the house minutes later, not helping the smile on her face. She thinks that at the end of the day, after all the heartbreaks and challenges they had to face, running away with him is always worth it.

9:40 am

Y/N gives the students their second writing exercise for the day. She walks around the room and smiles down at Charlie, one of her favorite students in the writing program. The kid is really talented in writing.

Y/N wonders fleetingly about her twins. She wonders if they will inherit their father's love for music books, or her love for long novels? She puts her arm around the other and smiles to herself. She wants to see her children badly and maybe, just maybe, have some with Sungjin in the future.

10:30 am

Y/N was just about to tell her students to take a 15-minute break when she heard a commotion outside. One of the teachers ran up to her classroom with panic in her eyes. Y/N immediately knew something was wrong.

"What is it?" she asked.

"There's someone with a gun!" It took Y/N a minute to fully get that. "He's in the building. Send your students out."

She didn't need to be told twice. "Class, I need you to leave everything behind and quickly exit the room." She tried to keep her voice even so as not to alarm them. She didn't want them panicking, even though she felt like throwing up.

"Now!" She hoped her students can forgive her for raising her voice (she never does), but now's not the right time to think about that. Both teachers looked out while the students filed out of the room hurriedly.

"Did someone call 911?" she asked as the last student got out of the room. The other teacher's answer was cut short by the sound of gunfire, followed by screaming.

"Go, go, go!" Y/N yelled at the students as they all ran towards the direction of the stairs.

Y/N was nearing the stairs when pain blooms in her shoulder. She didn't dare look back as a second one hits her back, then her leg. That's when she lost her balance, and crumple to the ground face down. She heard more screaming as students ran for their lives before she felt the bullet to her neck, and she's—

12:00 pm

Y/N raises her head from the table with a gasp.

Disoriented, she looks around and blinks. She doesn't know she had been snoozing. Had she been snoozing? It feels like she had only blinked.

Huh.

She looks at the clock; 12:00 pm.

She hears the chatter of the students outside as she sees the essay exercises on her table. When she looks up, however, the classroom is a mess. The students' things are everywhere, and the chairs are all askew.

She remembers the panic and running, but nothing else. What happened after that?

She tries to recall as she flexes her head, pressing lightly at the pain in her neck. Not being able to come up with anything from her bizarre dream(?), she starts to clean up the mess.

1:08 pm

Y/N had successfully cleaned up the messy classroom by herself. She didn't notice that there were no students on the floor anymore. She slung her bag to her back and locked up the classroom.

It wasn't until she reached the second floor that she saw another soul. It was, however, a police officer.

What the...?

She walked towards the man, and called out to him.

"Excuse me?" He didn't seem to notice her. She called out to him again to no avail, the police turning his back on her.

"What the fuck?" Bothered, she continued down to the ground floor, where she saw more police officers.

She tried to talk to another police officer, but she was still ignored. She was getting frustrated and weirded out with each passing second. It's like they cannot see her. She didn't understand what's happening and felt her head spin, eyes prickling with tears of confusion.

She looked around, and finally, one person seemed to see her. The lady was looking straight at her. Relieved, Y/N walked towards her; she didn't know why, but she felt compelled to talk to her.

When she was close to the lady, she tripped a little on her own feet. She looked down and when she looked back up, the lady vanished.

"Looking for me?"

Y/N spun around to reveal the lady that had been staring at her.

"Yes..." Y/N said, torn between feeling embarrassed and confused. "But, you're there before. How...?"

The lady smiled at her. "You have more important questions to be answered, don't you think?" Y/N, who was dumbfounded, had just managed to nod.

"Come with me," the lady said. She turned around and started walking away, not waiting for Y/N to respond.

1:45 pm

Y/N cannot believe her eyes. She, or more accurately, her body, has been lying on a body bag in the quadrangle.

"B-but... h-how...?" She can only stammer in confusion.

This is just not possible. Y/N tries to breathe in and out to stop the spinning of her head, clutching her hands in each other.

She finally turns to the lady beside her, who is still staring at her lifeless body.

"You got killed," she answers Y/N's unspoken obvious question. "You're one of the last people he'd managed to kill before he was taken down by the police."

When the lady points at the bullet hole on her neck, a picture flashes through her mind.

Y/N remembers the pain through her shoulder, then her back and leg. Lastly, she remembers the blinding pain on her neck after falling to the ground.

After long minutes of disbelief, Y/N finds it in her to finally speak, her voice hoarse from the brimming emotions in her eyes. "I'm dreaming, aren't I?"

She badly wants to believe that maybe she was really just dreaming. Maybe this is all just a practical joke. By whom, she doesn't know.

"I'm sorry, Y/N." Her companion just shakes her head. "I'm so sorry."

That was the last straw for Y/N. Tears pour from her eyes as her world comes crashing down and her dreams shatter. She falls to her knees as she sobs her heart out.

She isn't ready to die yet.

Maybe this is payback for everything she did, for everyone she killed.

Sungjin.

How is he supposed to move on? How is she supposed to move on?

"Sungjin." She sniffs. "Don't I even have the chance to say goodbye? I wanna say goodbye to him."

"You only have until before midnight," the lady says.

"Thank you," Y/N replies.

The lady just smiles at her sadly, her eyes telling her that she understands how she feels. She wonders briefly if they had been in the same situation. The lady vanishes right before her eyes, leaving Y/N with a broken heart.

2:50 pm

She looks for Sungjin at the clinic, but he was not there. She goes home and he was there, sleeping soundly on the sofa. His arm has a band-aid, for his tetanus jab.

Sungjin hates getting shots the most. Y/N knows he hates hospitals and injections, and has a big mistrust with the institution, and it makes her chest swell with love for him.

It makes her heart shatter, though. It's so hard to leave and say goodbye to someone you had forsaken your world for, especially when you're starting to think that everything is turning out fine. She was just starting to build her world with him, planning their future and thinking of having kids.

Sungjin looks so peaceful and beautiful, having no care in the world that Y/N just wants to frame this moment. She knows she can't, so she'll just watch over him for as long as she can. Maybe it will last longer than taking a picture, or maybe it can stop the time. If not, then she can at least keep this picture embedded in her mind before she disappears forever.

3:38 pm

Sungjin shifts from his position, rubbing his eyes and yawning on his hands. Y/N wipes her eyes with the back of her hand so he won't see the tears that had been steadily streaming down her face for the past hour. His eyes find her, and smiles that beautiful smile she fell in love with.

It sends her heart skidding on the floor, and to splinter a little more at the thought of leaving him. She bites her lip to keep the tears from falling further, and smiles back at him.

"Hey," she says, barely keeping her voice steady.

"Hey," Sungjin smiles at hear again, but his smile crumples when he takes in her bloodshot eyes and runny nose. He shoots up and engulfs her in a tight hug.

It was the wrong thing to do as Y/N loses it again, tears escaping down her cheeks. He rubs her back soothingly.

"What's wrong?" he asks. "Are you okay?"

"I love you. Please never ever forget that," is all she can say.

"And I love you more." Sungjin pulls away and cups her face into his hands. "Now tell me what's wrong—and don't you try to lie. I know you so well."

She debates telling him because he deserves the truth, but she can't find the right words to say. "I'm fine," she sniffs and shakes her head. "I'm okay."

"You're definitely not okay." He pulls away and holds her arms. He frowns when he notices her body's dropped temperature. "Where have you been? You're awfully cold!"

"I'm fine. School's let out early." Y/N sits up straight and smiles, wiping at her tears. "Did you—have you seen the news?"

Y/N is nervous to ask that, but she has to know. She knows he would be shattered when he knows that he's talking to a ghost. Technically, Sungjin can still touch her, but she's already a ghost.

She also can't forgive herself for breaking their promise of forever.

"Not yet," Sungjin says. "I was so tired and sleepy so I had to go straight home. But we can turn on the TV anyw—"

"No!" Y/N grips his hand, cutting him short of turning on the TV. She looks close to tears again that he raises his eyebrows in surprise.

"No." Y/N composes herself with a fake smile to appease the surprised features on his face. "I'm just asking. I'm sorry for yelling."

"You're acting weird," Sungjin says.

Y/N puts on her best I'm-okay face and smiles at him. "I'm okay. I just had a snooze at work and I had a bad dream."

I wish this was all just a bad dream.

"I just want to make sure you don't forget I love you, you know? Despite everything that happened to us." She looks down and smiles sadly. "I'm sorry I made you worry for nothing."

Sungjin pouts, but pulls her into another hug. "It's fine, babe. I just love you more and more every second because you're the only person who loved me truly, and never left me."

Y/N's heart can't get any more broken.

5:55 pm

For the past few hours, Y/N and Sungjin were just curled up on the loveseat. They were watching a sappy romcom that seemed to mock her in the face as it was about leaving a loved one behind and coming back for them. On the other hand, it's a good reason for her to cry her eyes out without raising suspicion, safe and snug under Sungjin's arms.

Too bad, the peace doesn't last forever.

7:40 pm

Y/N is currently waiting for Sungjin to come back. She originally opposed to the idea because she has a bad feeling about it, but he said that he needs to get some food (since Y/N forgot to bring home some). It has already been an hour since he went out, and the store was only a 15-minute walk—five if you use a car.

What is taking him so long?

8:20 pm - 9:45 pm

Y/N was just about to go looking for Sungjin when the front door opens and shuts with a slam. Next came the heavy footsteps that sounded urgent and almost running.

Y/N stands up and was about to see if it was him (who else would it be?), when he comes running into the living room. He was panting and has a disheveled appearance, eyes puffy with the evident tear-stained tracks in his face.

Shit.

"Sungjin...?" Y/N steps forward, but Sungjin steps backwards. "Babe...?"

"Who are you?" he asks as he tilts his head to the side, an incredulous, almost crazed look in his eyes.

"What?" she asks, knowing fully well what is going on. "It's me, Y/N! What kind of stupid sh—"

"You're NOT Y/N!" Sungjin almost yells. He walks towards her and shakes her by her shoulders. "Who are you? What did you do to her?"

"Babe, it's me!"

"No!" He lets go of her and walks to the other side of the room, his back against her. He turns around, and he has tears in his eyes. "You're not her."

"I am!" she cries out, but he refuses to listen. His mouth is curled in an angry sneer. "I know it sounds absurd, but I came back for you... to say goodbye."

"How can I believe that, huh?" he laughs, but there is no humor in his voice. "Ghosts are not real, whoever you are."

Oh.

"How can you expect me to believe what you were saying?" he asks, but she can't give him an answer. "Answer me!" he screams when she stays silent.

Y/N suddenly feels tired. Heartbroken.

"I love you," she says instead. She looks down at her hands, and see that she is starting to fade as time passes by.

Sungjin laughs a ruthless laugh, not noticing the change in her, and it breaks her heart even more. She can't find it in herself to cry, mainly because she's already cried out as heck, and it's not like it will change anything.

"Just stay away from me," Sungjin says, face taut with anger. "Get the fuck out of my house."

Y/N can only nod. She debates reaching out to touch him, but backs out at the last second. She leaves her coat by the door, and gets out into the cold night.

She's already cold, anyway.

11:15 pm

Y/N begins to think about how her life has been and thinks how far she'd come. She's pretty proud of herself for coming this far.

She would want to say goodbye to her kids and to Dowoon as well, but it's not like that's in the cards right now.

She looks at her wristwatch, the one Sungjin gifted her for her birthday.

11:15 pm.

Right, 45 minutes left.

It's funny how she can't cry anymore, probably because she's past the sixth stage of grief. She thinks she had already accepted that she will be gone by midnight, and crying makes no sense at this point. It's not like it'll bring her back, or bring Sungjin back.

Speaking of which, she looks to her left and there Sungjin is at the other side of the park. She's pretty sure he hasn't seen her yet, so she stands up and keep her head down.

She walks toward a more secluded part of the park, not risking a glance back at him. She doesn't want to fight with him again. She'd rather go quietly without an affair, than have a big blow up with Sungjin. After all, this what she's good at; running away.

"Y/N!"

Ah, shit.

Y/N tries to walk faster without seeming like she was running away from him. If she runs away, he'll know she heard him. Y/N walks on, chanting a nopenopenope in her head.

Nope, indeed.

Nearly there.

"Y/N, please," Sungjin says, sounding out of breath and too near. "Wait."

Just keep yourself together.

"Y/N!" Sungjin grabs her wrist, spinning her around.

Her gaze lands on her wrist, and she sees that she was fading away fast. She pulls her hand back to her fast, careful not to draw attention to it. Too late though, because Sungjin's eyes are drawn to it.

She pulls the sweater's sleeve to cover her wrist and clear her throat. "Yeah." She laughs awkwardly. "Sorry 'bout that."

"It's true, then." Sungjin's face crumple. He looks younger, almost like a kid. "I was hoping it was just delirium from the shots."

She laughs quietly. "You don't get delirious from shots."

Silence.

Y/N takes a deep breath, and smiles like her heart's not on fire. "I'll be going."

"Where?" he asks in a small voice.

She shrugs. "Hell, maybe?"

That turns out to be the wrong thing to say, because Sungjin bursts into tears a few moments later.

No, no, no.

"I'm sorry," she says as she takes a step towards him. She suddenly stops, him asking her to stay away still ringing in her ears.

"I'm sorry," even though she doesn't know if she's saying sorry for the joke or for ruining his life. "Sorry."

"I was hoping—" he says as he hiccups, wiping at his tears. "I was hoping this was all just a practical joke."

Y/N smiles sadly, still keeping her distance. She badly wants to pull him into a hug, but she can't.

"Do you regret it?" she asks him after a minute of silence. He looks at her and it breaks her heart, but she just can't bear not knowing before leaving. "Do you regret choosing me?"

"No," he insists, shaking his head. "Never."

She nods with a small smile. Me, too.

"Thank you," she says. "That's all I need to know."

She turns toward the other side of the park, but he walks in front of her and blocks her way.

"Don't go," he begs almost desperately. He kneels in front of her and hugs her legs, still crying like a kid. "Please just take me with you."

"Sungjin..."

"Please," he cries harder. "Please please please."

Y/N unwraps his arms around her legs, and kneels with him, pulling him into a tight hug.

"Please don't leave me," he cries on her sweater. "You're all I have."

11:55 pm

Five minutes.

They spent the last almost-hour talking and crying. They reminisced about everything, and Y/N apologized, mostly. Everything she failed to say, and failed to make him feel. She spared nothing.

She looks at her wristwatch. 11:55 pm.

Her hands are almost transparent at this point.

"I'm sorry if I wasn't able to keep my promise" she says, taking Sungjin's hand in hers. "I mean it when I said I love you, and I want you to be happy—"

"—I can't be," Sungjin replies. At least he had stopped crying, but it looks like he was about to again.

Three minutes.

"Close your eyes, babe." He does, and she kisses his lips one last time.

"I'm gonna miss you," she says. "I'll wait for you, okay?"

"I won't take long." Sungjin's voice is quivering.

One minute.

"I love you." Her skin starts to glow while she was speaking, her body flowing like ashes in the wind and drifting upwards.

"I love you, too," Sungjin says.

When he opens his eyes, he was alone on the park bench.

He stays there for a long time, wishing she heard him.

She did, and she carried his love with her to the dark skies.

fin