Deus Ex Machina - Tumblr Posts
Whumptober Prompt #5- Gunpoint
I don’t even know why I’m posting this. One- it’s garbage. Two- No one will even see it anyways because I’m going to be flagged within moments. Well, here it is anyway. I started this thing and I intend to see it through, whether or not people can see it. (Though, tumblr, if you’re listening, I seriously want people to see it. Please.)
As much as Lucifer liked police work, hunting down criminals and making sure they were punished, there were some aspects that he couldn’t stand. Like going to revisit a crime scene with Dan because Chloe had to be in some meeting with the lieutenant and Lucifer wasn’t allowed in. Chloe had all but ordered him to recomb the scene with Dan, as he’d previously been restless and annoyed that he wasn’t allowed into an official police meeting.
“Lucifer, you are not a cop. You’re a civilian consultant. This meeting is for cops.”
So Dan and Lucifer drove back to the back alley where young Mister James Moren, a college student who lived on the wrong side of town, was shot to death. Lucifer and Chloe has thought it very cut and dry, Mr. Moren had quite the mouth on him but little money, and their prime suspect was his downstairs neighbor who often was seen annoyed with his antics and exaggerations. His neighbor was in debt to several bookies and needed money desperately, and Mister Moren had been talking himself up lately. He had found a new sugar daddy that had paid for a new watch and clothes. Those things were missing from the scene. They just needed proof that the neighbor had committed the crime. So Chloe sent Lucifer and Dan back to the scene, hoping they might find some new evidence or perhaps explain some evidence already found. She said said that she would meet them at the scene after she was done. Neither man had been happy about it, but sucked it up for Chloe’s sake, and to help Mr. Moren’s killer get punished.
“You see anything with fresh eyes, man?” Dan asked, looking at the drone scene photos he held in his hands.
“I have perfect vision, Detective Dou- Espinoza.” Lucifer cut himself off, not because he was lying, but he had been trying to be nicer to Dan at Chloe’s suggestion. “If I were to see something, I would've seen it the first time around.”
“A lot of first time killers will revisit the scene, to try and make sure the evidence is gone, or plant evidence for a frame job.” Dan said. “It’s always good to get a second look.”
Lucifer rolled his eyes. “If they did it right the first time, they wouldn’t need to come back.”
“Don’t encourage the criminals, Lucifer.” Dan murmured, sounding if Lucifer wasn’t hallucinating, almost fondly exasperated.
Lucifer and Dan were getting on better terms after the whole debacle with Azreal’s blade. Lucifer has realized that there was more to Dan than he originally assumed, especially since Dan had able to resist Azrael’s blade, not many humans could do that, and Dan had felt like he’d gotten his anger out at Lucifer and had gotten a bit more used to his personality. Granted, only Lucifer knew that Dan had tried to kill him with a blade so powerful it could kill God, but Dan didn’t need to know that. They were almost friends.
“Well, well, well, what do we have here?” Lucifer said, finding a tiny splatter of blood that hadn’t been there before. As if someone cut themselves trying to get back to the crime scene.
Dan took a picture of it.
Within a moment, Lucifer heard the flash and then a grunt of pain.
“Hurt yourself, Daniel?” Lucifer’s words died on his lips. The neighbor, a Benny Johnson, had a gun pressed to Dan’s neck.
Lucifer’s hackles rose, no one threatened his humans.
“Is that really necessary?” Lucifer asked, his tone annoyed, trying to make eye contact with Johnson.
“You’re cops!” Johnson shouted in Dan’s ear. Dan winced, and Lucifer’s anger grew. But he couldn’t flash his Devil eyes or face, as Dan would get it as well. He kept trying to make eye contact but Johnson kept hiding one eye or both behind Dan, and he couldn’t hold it long enough to try to use his mojo.
“Yes, that’s clearly been established.” Lucifer remarked. “Why don’t you release my friend from your greasy grip and we’ll just be leaving?”
“No, no, no, not til you delete whatever you found.” Johnson said wildly. “I ain’t going to jail.”
“Well that’s just inevitable at this point.” Lucifer muttered.
“Shut up, Lucifer.” Dan growled. “We can talk this out.”
“I ain’t talking.” Johnson pushed the gun deeper into Dan’s neck.
“Come now, this isn’t what you want, is it?” Lucifer said, trying to guide his voice into Johnson’s ear. “Tell me what you really desire.”
“I… I want… I want you to delete whatever that was!” Johnson said, his wild movements still protecting him from Lucifer’s full effect.
Lucifer rolled his eyes. “You’ve said that.”
“Look man, I’m sure you don’t want to hurt me.” Dan said. “I’m sure you didn’t want to hurt James, either.”
“Bastard shoulda just told me where he got the damn money!.” Johnson growled. “He kept saying that he was gonna get rich soon, just needed investors. Then one day out of the blue, he shows up with a fancy watch and new locks on his door and nice clothes. Shoulda shared. I needed that money more than he did.”
“What is it with you humans and your obsession with money?” Lucifer groaned, annoyed. “All you do is fight over it and kill over it and say it’s the most powerful thing on Earth. I’m beginning to see why my Father sought to include coveting in his commandments, even if they really just are ways to keep you humans in line.”
“How would you know?” Johnson asked. “You look rich. You’ve probably never went without. Born with a silver spoon in your mouth.”
“Please, I once went without eating for over six hundred years.” Lucifer snapped. “The food in Hell is not something you want to consume when you’re down there.”
“In Hell?” Johnson stopped, looking at Lucifer in confusion.
Lucifer pounced. “Holding a policeman hostage doesn’t seem like your life’s dream. Tell me, what do you desire?”
Johnson’s grip went slack, even Dan relaxed a little, from looking at Lucifer.
“I… I’m… I’m tired.” Johnson said, slowly, giving into Lucifer’s power. “I’m tired, tired of running and wanting, waiting for the breaks that come to others but never to me. I deserve nice things too! Why should everyone else get what I want?”
Caught up in Lucifer’s power, in his own declaration, Johnson didn’t noticed Dan moving. Lucifer, however, did.
As Dan elbowed Johnson, Lucifer grabbed the barrel of the gun and pulled it away from Dan’s neck. Johnson fired as Dan got out of the way and pain lit up his hand, the bullet tearing through him.
“Detective Decker!” Lucifer shouted, holding his now bleeding hand. “So good of you to finally join the party. We found ourselves a murderer!”
Chloe, who seemingly had just gotten out of her car, pointed her gun at Johnson and the man slowly dropped the gun on her orders.
“Benjamin Johnson, you’re under arrest for the murder of James Moren.” Chloe immediately went into arrest mode and got Johnson dealt with.
“Man, I don’t know how you do what you do but today I am so glad you can.” Dan said, breathing a sigh of relief. “Shit, man, you’re bleeding.”
Lucifer grimaced, his hand practically on fire. And he knew how that felt.
“I will be perfectly fine, Daniel.” Lucifer dismissed. “Just need a quick trip to Lux and it’ll heal.”
“We should call a paramedic.” Dan said, pulling out his phone.
“Daniel, I assure I have everything I need at Lux.” Lucifer said. “Maze can stitch me up if need be, and I doubt it’ll even scar.”
Dan hesitated. “I didn’t know Maze was certified in medical services.”
“Maze has been taking apart and putting people together in odd ways for practically her entire life.” Lucifer said, trying to gloss over the whole torture bit. He found humans didn’t understand and most certainly didn’t approve of torturing other human souls, and he knew Maze considered Dan to be one of her humans just as he did. “She knows how to stitch something small like this up.”
“At least let me help.” Dan said, pulling his handkerchief out of his pocket, the one he often used for picking up evidence, and wrapped it around Lucifer’s hand to try and stem the bleeding. “That should at least keep you from bleeding out until you can get home.”
“Thank you, Daniel.” Lucifer said, unused to this kindness. “I shall replace this straight away.”
“Eh, it’s not a big deal.” Dan shrugged, tying the ends in a small knot. “It’s like a buck, I get them cheap because I buy them at Walmart. They’re not exactly as classy as yours are.”
“Nevertheless, I shall replace yours.” Lucifer insisted. “I… appreciate your efforts.”
“Thanks, man.” Dan smiled at him, a non-mocking genuine one. It made Lucifer feel strange, like his heart had found someone he didn’t want to let go of. Previously, he’d only felt this for Chloe, and a different version of it for Maze. It seemed his heart wanted Dan to be apart of his flock, whether Dan was a douche or not. He wasn’t sure what to do about that.
“I’ve got everything here, you two alright?” Chloe asked. “Lucifer, your hand.”
“I shall be fine, Detective.” Lucifer assured her. “Has Mr. Johnson confessed?”
“Yep. Just a sad, angry, little man who got jealous and had a gun.” Chloe sighed. “Do you want to head home? Your hand looks bad.”
“I would appreciate a ride to Lux, thank you Detective.” Lucifer said. The sooner someone drove him home, the sooner he could get away from Chloe’s influence and the sooner his hand would stop pulsating from pain. “Until next time, Daniel.”
Dan gave his goodbyes as Chloe and Lucifer headed to her car.
The next week, when Dan came in for his shift, he found several handkerchiefs, ranging from dollar store cheap material to material he had to stop himself from rubbing on his face it was so soft. There was no note, but he knew they were from Lucifer. After all, Lucifer had always been a man of his word.
Author’s Note
Just so everyone knows, I won’t be posting tomorrow as I have already done six. I will be reblogging it though.
PS Can Anyone Tell Me How To Make A Linebreak In This Thing
Oh! Almost forgot. AO3 Link- https://archiveofourown.org/works/20914988
born to deuce ex machiner, forced to dayuhs eks makeenuh
The funniest thing (derogatory) is the experience of watching Buffy, getting to s7 — the final season of the whole show! — and the biggest key to saving the day is a magic necklace that Angel just shows up and hands to her in the second to last episode. Hugely underwhelming. But you think, okay, clearly this necklace has a whole backstory over on the show Angel that I would know about if I were watching both shows in the original airing order as the writers intended. So you sit down to watch Angel, get to season 4, and are like okay, now I’m finally going to figure out the backstory to this necklace. And then the backstory is someone just hands it to Angel. “Here is the deus ex machina for Buffy s7, btw; you can have it if you want.”
My reaction when yomotsu is the baby:
