I Regret Everything - Tumblr Posts

Whumptober Prompt #5- Gunpoint

I don’t even know why I’m posting this.  One- it’s garbage.  Two- No one will even see it anyways because I’m going to be flagged within moments.  Well, here it is anyway.  I started this thing and I intend to see it through, whether or not people can see it.  (Though, tumblr, if you’re listening, I seriously want people to see it.  Please.)

As much as Lucifer liked police work, hunting down criminals and making sure they were punished, there were some aspects that he couldn’t stand.  Like going to revisit a crime scene with Dan because Chloe had to be in some meeting with the lieutenant and Lucifer wasn’t allowed in.  Chloe had all but ordered him to recomb the scene with Dan, as he’d previously been restless and annoyed that he wasn’t allowed into an official police meeting.

“Lucifer, you are not a cop.  You’re a civilian consultant.  This meeting is for cops.”

So Dan and Lucifer drove back to the back alley where young Mister James Moren, a college student who lived on the wrong side of town, was shot to death.  Lucifer and Chloe has thought it very cut and dry, Mr. Moren had quite the mouth on him but little money, and their prime suspect was his downstairs neighbor who often was seen annoyed with his antics and exaggerations.  His neighbor was in debt to several bookies and needed money desperately, and Mister Moren had been talking himself up lately.  He had found a new sugar daddy that had paid for a new watch and clothes.  Those things were missing from the scene.  They just needed proof that the neighbor had committed the crime.  So Chloe sent Lucifer and Dan back to the scene, hoping they might find some new evidence or perhaps explain some evidence already found.  She said said that she would meet them at the scene after she was done.  Neither man had been happy about it, but sucked it up for Chloe’s sake, and to help Mr. Moren’s killer get punished.

“You see anything with fresh eyes, man?”  Dan asked, looking at the drone scene photos he held in his hands.

“I have perfect vision, Detective Dou- Espinoza.” Lucifer cut himself off, not because he was lying, but he had been trying to be nicer to Dan at Chloe’s suggestion.  “If I were to see something, I would've seen it the first time around.”

“A lot of first time killers will revisit the scene, to try and make sure the evidence is gone, or plant evidence for a frame job.”  Dan said.  “It’s always good to get a second look.”

Lucifer rolled his eyes. “If they did it right the first time, they wouldn’t need to come back.”

“Don’t encourage the criminals, Lucifer.”  Dan murmured, sounding if Lucifer wasn’t hallucinating, almost fondly exasperated.

Lucifer and Dan were getting on better terms after the whole debacle with Azreal’s blade.  Lucifer has realized that there was more to Dan than he originally assumed, especially since Dan had able to resist Azrael’s blade, not many humans could do that, and Dan had felt like he’d gotten his anger out at Lucifer and had gotten a bit more used to his personality.  Granted, only Lucifer knew that Dan had tried to kill him with a blade so powerful it could kill God, but Dan didn’t need to know that.  They were almost friends.

“Well, well, well, what do we have here?”  Lucifer said, finding a tiny splatter of blood that hadn’t been there before.  As if someone cut themselves trying to get back to the crime scene.

Dan took a picture of it.

Within a moment, Lucifer heard the flash and then a grunt of pain.

“Hurt yourself, Daniel?”  Lucifer’s words died on his lips. The neighbor, a Benny Johnson, had a gun pressed to Dan’s neck.

Lucifer’s hackles rose, no one threatened his humans.

“Is that really necessary?”  Lucifer asked, his tone annoyed, trying to make eye contact with Johnson.

“You’re cops!”  Johnson shouted in Dan’s ear.  Dan winced, and Lucifer’s anger grew.  But he couldn’t flash his Devil eyes or face, as Dan would get it as well.  He kept trying to make eye contact but Johnson kept hiding one eye or both behind Dan, and he couldn’t hold it long enough to try to use his mojo.

“Yes, that’s clearly been established.”  Lucifer remarked.  “Why don’t you release my friend from your greasy grip and we’ll just be leaving?”

“No, no, no, not til you delete whatever you found.”  Johnson said wildly.  “I ain’t going to jail.”

“Well that’s just inevitable at this point.”  Lucifer muttered.

“Shut up, Lucifer.”  Dan growled.  “We can talk this out.”

“I ain’t talking.”  Johnson pushed the gun deeper into Dan’s neck.

“Come now, this isn’t what you want, is it?”  Lucifer said, trying to guide his voice into Johnson’s ear.  “Tell me what you really desire.”

“I… I want… I want you to delete whatever that was!”  Johnson said, his wild movements still protecting him from Lucifer’s full effect.

Lucifer rolled his eyes.  “You’ve said that.”

“Look man, I’m sure you don’t want to hurt me.”  Dan said.  “I’m sure you didn’t want to hurt James, either.”

“Bastard shoulda just told me where he got the damn money!.”  Johnson growled.  “He kept saying that he was gonna get rich soon, just needed investors.  Then one day out of the blue, he shows up with a fancy watch and new locks on his door and nice clothes.  Shoulda shared.  I needed that money more than he did.”

“What is it with you humans and your obsession with money?”  Lucifer groaned, annoyed.  “All you do is fight over it and kill over it and say it’s the most powerful thing on Earth.  I’m beginning to see why my Father sought to include coveting in his commandments, even if they really just are ways to keep you humans in line.”

“How would you know?”  Johnson asked. “You look rich.  You’ve probably never went without.  Born with a silver spoon in your mouth.”

“Please, I once went without eating for over six hundred years.”  Lucifer snapped.  “The food in Hell is not something you want to consume when you’re down there.”

“In Hell?”  Johnson stopped, looking at Lucifer in confusion.

Lucifer pounced.  “Holding a policeman hostage doesn’t seem like your life’s dream.  Tell me, what do you desire?”

Johnson’s grip went slack, even Dan relaxed a little, from looking at Lucifer.

“I… I’m… I’m tired.”  Johnson said, slowly, giving into Lucifer’s power.  “I’m tired, tired of running and wanting, waiting for the breaks that come to others but never to me.  I deserve nice things too!  Why should everyone else get what I want?”

Caught up in Lucifer’s power, in his own declaration, Johnson didn’t noticed Dan moving.  Lucifer, however, did.

As Dan elbowed Johnson, Lucifer grabbed the barrel of the gun and pulled it away from Dan’s neck.  Johnson fired as Dan got out of the way and pain lit up his hand, the bullet tearing through him.

“Detective Decker!”  Lucifer shouted, holding his now bleeding hand.  “So good of you to finally join the party.  We found ourselves a murderer!”

Chloe, who seemingly had just gotten out of her car, pointed her gun at Johnson and the man slowly dropped the gun on her orders.

“Benjamin Johnson, you’re under arrest for the murder of James Moren.”  Chloe immediately went into arrest mode and got Johnson dealt with.

“Man, I don’t know how you do what you do but today I am so glad you can.”  Dan said, breathing a sigh of relief.  “Shit, man, you’re bleeding.”

Lucifer grimaced, his hand practically on fire.  And he knew how that felt.

“I will be perfectly fine, Daniel.”  Lucifer dismissed.  “Just need a quick trip to Lux and it’ll heal.”

“We should call a paramedic.”  Dan said, pulling out his phone.

“Daniel, I assure I have everything I need at Lux.”  Lucifer said.  “Maze can stitch me up if need be, and I doubt it’ll even scar.”

Dan hesitated.  “I didn’t know Maze was certified in medical services.”

“Maze has been taking apart and putting people together in odd ways for practically her entire life.”  Lucifer said, trying to gloss over the whole torture bit.  He found humans didn’t understand and most certainly didn’t approve of torturing other human souls, and he knew Maze considered Dan to be one of her humans just as he did.  “She knows how to stitch something small like this up.”

“At least let me help.”  Dan said, pulling his handkerchief out of his pocket, the one he often used for picking up evidence, and wrapped it around Lucifer’s hand to try and stem the bleeding.  “That should at least keep you from bleeding out until you can get home.”

“Thank you, Daniel.”  Lucifer said, unused to this kindness.  “I shall replace this straight away.”

“Eh, it’s not a big deal.”  Dan shrugged, tying the ends in a small knot.  “It’s like a buck, I get them cheap because I buy them at Walmart.  They’re not exactly as classy as yours are.”

“Nevertheless, I shall replace yours.”  Lucifer insisted.  “I… appreciate your efforts.”

“Thanks, man.”  Dan smiled at him, a non-mocking genuine one.  It made Lucifer feel strange, like his heart had found someone he didn’t want to let go of.  Previously, he’d only felt this for Chloe, and a different version of it for Maze.  It seemed his heart wanted Dan to be apart of his flock, whether Dan was a douche or not.  He wasn’t sure what to do about that.

“I’ve got everything here, you two alright?”  Chloe asked.  “Lucifer, your hand.”

“I shall be fine, Detective.”  Lucifer assured her.  “Has Mr. Johnson confessed?”

“Yep.  Just a sad, angry, little man who got jealous and had a gun.”  Chloe sighed.  “Do you want to head home?  Your hand looks bad.”

“I would appreciate a ride to Lux, thank you Detective.”  Lucifer said.  The sooner someone drove him home, the sooner he could get away from Chloe’s influence and the sooner his hand would stop pulsating from pain.  “Until next time, Daniel.”

Dan gave his goodbyes as Chloe and Lucifer headed to her car.

The next week, when Dan came in for his shift, he found several handkerchiefs, ranging from dollar store cheap material to material he had to stop himself from rubbing on his face it was so soft.  There was no note, but he knew they were from Lucifer.  After all, Lucifer had always been a man of his word.

Author’s Note

Just so everyone knows, I won’t be posting tomorrow as I have already done six.  I will be reblogging it though.

PS Can Anyone Tell Me How To Make A Linebreak In This Thing

Oh!  Almost forgot. AO3 Link- https://archiveofourown.org/works/20914988

Sober, coming down from mania, cracked skull, destroyed friendships.

I'm still here though, which I guess is good news.

If you're out there going through mania or post-mania, I've got you, I feel you, and I think we'll all get through this.

I love and hate myself for making this.

Cosmo: Hey Beanpole!

RoboKat: Oh! Hey there, Cosmo!

Cosmo: Check out my new outfit!

RoboKat: New outfit? You look completely normal to me-

Cosmo: *removes his coat, revealing a slutty pink maid dress*

RoboKat: GREAT GOOGLY MOOGLY- *nosebleeds and crashes*

I hope it hurts

Today's episode is definitely a set up for a tragedy with Sun in the centre..

Because Sun will be completely alone most of the time now.. in this huge ass house.. while Moon will be dealing with Eclipse and Ruin's situation together with Solar...

This is awful...

Btw I think that the real theme of sams is Sun and Moon's brotherly bond..

And that's why I think that Moon by trying to keep Sun safe and not wanting his help with important stuff is doing a terrible mistake...

It'll end up just like Eclipse foresaw: "Your brother will be lying dead in your arms.." ".. it'll be your fault"... I think that show is going exactly in that direction...

I'll only add that many people think that Sun will be even more sidelined and isolated.. so it's not only me...

The worst thing about it is that Sun's mental state is really poor and he's suicidal.. and he'll be alone in this huge ass house.. and he doesn't have any hobbies that could get his mind off of bad thoughts.. it's the worst mix possible...

I like that idea and then again I've also played with the idea of him being a (more mellow) version of Sprxs lol. Like idk he did all that show off stuff in the series so like he'd be more...That?...¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I really like to think that when Antauri was younger that he was rather shy and skittish. :3

made a cocktail this morning put it to my lips and then realized I had to drive later AHSKSHSJSH

I didn't drink it dw besties but BRUH my brain

happy hour now babies!! hope u have a good day

So yeah uh I can't explain myself

Part One of the ~6,000 word fic I wrote solely on a plot bunny I got at 2 a.m.

The Delta Quadrant finally breaks Captain Janeway, and Q arrives entirely too late.

TW: sewerslidal thoughts

Goddess of Good Fortune pt. 1

Voyager had been floating dead in space for days now. Janeway was reading through sensor logs in her ready room when whoever it was had attacked; an explosion rendered the bridge inhospitable, trapping her inside.

She couldn't reach anyone. The comm system wasn't down, there was simply no one to reach. She remained unshakable for the first day, trying everything she could, but there was nothing she could do without the rest of Voyager.

The second day, she broke down, sobbing as she slapped her comm badge for what felt like the thousandth time, asking for somebody, anybody to answer. She was furious at herself, at fate, and she began throwing everything that wasn't attached to the deck. She quickly scolded herself for acting like a foolish child, and cried some more.

The third day, environmental controls began to lose power. She tried asking the computer what was going on, but she was answered with a slow chime before the lights went out. Oxygen levels slowly began to drop, and before long she sat on the floor with her legs curled up under her. Her breaths came heavily and she dozed off after a few hours.

She woke up on the fourth day to the sound of a familiar voice.

"Kathy…"

She opened her eyes sluggishly and saw Q standing by her desk, wearing his usual Starfleet attire and an unusually grim expression. She muttered weakly through gritted teeth, "What the hell do you want."

He met her gaze and said, with something almost like remorse, "I knew you were in a bit of trouble, I thought you'd be able to handle it, but something went… wrong." He stepped towards her and said, "Horribly wrong…"

She moved to try and stand, grunting softly as her legs buckled underneath her. She was exhausted, but in a flash of light, he was there beside her, helping her to her feet. She grimaced and shoved him away weakly, bracing herself on the edge of the desk and saying, "Then why didn't you do something. Why didn't you… blink the other ship away or send them into the abyss-" her voice rose angrily, "-why didn't you do something Q! My crew is gone! My ship is in ruins! They're all dead! Every single one! Kim, Paris, Tuvok, Wildman, Torres, Chakotay-"

Her voice broke and she looked away, blinking back angry tears and taking in a raspy breath. The Continuum had forbidden him from aiding Voyager, she knew that; he knew that she knew that, but for once, he could almost understand.

It was almost a minute of dreadful, pointed silence before she whispered, "Go away."

He hesitated before reaching out to place a hand on her shoulder, but as soon as he touched her, she slapped his hand away, yelling hoarsely, "Go away, Q! Go away! For once in your infuriating existence, go away and leave me be!"

Her slap didn't physically hurt him- he doubted anything outside Q weapons ever could -but seeing her like this was the closest anything had ever gotten.

For the first few seconds, she tried to regain her composure, tucking various stray locks of hair behind her ears and standing upright while turning away from him. It didn't last long.

It started with her breaths beginning to shudder, and her hand quickly went to brace against her desk. She straightened her back and squared her shoulders, but it was to no avail. Her knees buckled once more and she held a hand over her mouth, sobbing openly and almost folding in on herself.

He knelt beside her and slowly placed a hand on her shoulder, his heart(?) nearly shattering as she flinched at his touch.

"I could take you home. If that would help." He knew it wouldn't.

Her answer was almost inaudible, but for once in his life(?), he regretted the fact that he could hear her voice flawlessly. "It doesn't matter anymore."

He moved in front of her. She looked up from the carpet, and he almost hoped she would glare at him (punch him, scream at him, anything to let him know there was some fight left), but her bottom lip quivered and her head fell forward to rest on his shoulder. His arms wrapped around her and he kissed the top of her head, stroking her back and her shoulders as he whispered sweet nothings into her hair.

He took them away from Voyager, leaving the broken ship to drift aimlessly in space. With a thought, they were in the Continuum, but not in any form she'd seen before. The dirt road was dreadful, and the memories of almost being executed in the Civil War reenactment still made him grimace, so instead he took her to a 20th century suburban home.

The small house was decorated with all manner of knickknacks and embroidery projects (and some of the most hideous wallpaper he'd ever seen), and there was plastic on the furniture for god's sake, but there was something oddly comforting about it all, so he let it be.

She was exhausted, physically, mentally, and emotionally, and he decided that what she needed the most was sleep.

In normal circumstances, where she would banter with him and he could charm her all he wanted, he would have changed her clothes by hand, but this was far from normal (he noticed with devastating awareness). He snapped his fingers and she was in a comfortable set of pajamas, underneath the covers of the master bedroom's California King, and it wasn't long before she drifted to sleep.

He stepped to the side of the bed and saw that her face was screwed into a frown. Her hands held the sheets in a white-knuckled grip. He reached into her thoughts and found that she was already slipping into a nightmare, and a nasty one at that. He knew that before all of this, she would have hated him for digging around in her mind, but for the moment he could only hope she would forgive him as he made her sleep dreamlessly.

He kissed her forehead and tucked a stray lock of hair out of her face, just as a flash of light signalled the arrival of another Q.

He sighed and turned to face his former lover, saying in a solemn voice he'd never heard himself use before, "Please Q, she's had a wretched day."

She raised one of her impeccable eyebrows and drawled, "So you've brought your pet human back to the Continuum. What was it this time? Did she have a bad date with Commander Whatsit and wanted to whimper to you, or did another wormhole turn out to be a dud?"

He narrowed his eyes at her and she narrowed hers right back, as he said, "Buzz off. I don't feel like arguing with you."

She rolled her eyes and stepped closer, saying as she looked down at the sleeping captain like a snake eyeing a mouse, "If it's really that horrible, just cheer her up. Give her that horrid bean drink she never shuts up about, make her a new ship with new underlings to boss around, there has to be something to stop this nonsense and your insufferable moping."

He kept his eyes fixed on Kathryn, stroking her cheek with the back of one finger. He remained grim as he said, "None of that will make her happy, not now."

For the first time, he heard Miss Q laugh. "Then what will? Good heavens, you never moped this much when she rejected you. This 'horrid day' must have been a real doozy."

The humor quickly died for her and she said, "I almost have the mind to make her Q. Surely now that those ignoramuses are out of the way, she couldn't be too horrible to have around."

He looked up at her quickly and said with a bit of urgency, "Don't you dare. That's a terrible idea."

She gave him a smirk. "You act like the fact that it's a terrible idea to you is going to stop me. If anything, I'm convinced. Really Q, your sense of humor has degraded horribly ever since you let that mammal into our lives. Besides. It will be so much fun to watch her."

She disappeared.

He quickly looked back down at Kathryn to find her still asleep underneath the covers, her expression now blank and her hands grasping at the sheets. He sat on the side of the bed and held one of her hands gently, slipping a small sliver of a dream into her mind.

She was lying in the middle of a wildflower field, gazing up at the stars, but Q stayed by her side, warding her nightmares away.

---

When Kathryn woke up the next morning(?), sunlight filtered beautifully through the windows and birds sang outside in the trees. She looked around the room with a bit of alarm, but as soon as she saw Q, it all came flooding back. Her face fell and she lied back down, turning away from him as she curled up in the sheets.

He moved to rest a hand on her back but hesitated at the last second, saying softly, “Kathy… you know there was nothing I could do.”

She turned over and gave him a weak glare, saying hoarsely, “Well you certainly picked an odd time to give a damn about anyone’s rules.” He nodded and said with a ghost of a sad smirk, “I guess I did.”

He stood from the side of the bed and conjured a small breakfast tray for her, complete with a tall stack of pancakes, bacon and eggs, and of course a steaming mug of coffee. She faced away from him, although her stomach rumbled loud enough for him to hear.

“You have to eat something, Kathy. Please,” he muttered, moving a little closer. She reluctantly sat up and grabbed the tray, setting it in her lap before wiping her eyes with the back of her hand. He watched her inquisitively, a faint frown on his face as he said, "Go on, it's not poison." The corner of her mouth twitched and she muttered under her breath, "Shame."

She ate her breakfast, keeping her gaze on the tray as she downed mouthful after mouthful. She hadn't realized just how hungry she actually was; she cleaned her plate in five minutes. The coffee, however, remained untouched.

Q noticed this, saying, "It's your favorite blend, black, just how you like it." She grabbed the handle slowly and took a sip, setting it back down. He let out a small breath before saying, "How are you, Kathy?"

She rubbed one of her temples with her free hand and said through gritted teeth, "Don't call me that." He frowned and said, "Kathryn, then." Chakotay's face flashed behind her eyes and she spat, "That's worse."

"Madame Captain?"

She slammed the mug down on her tray, sending coffee sloshing over the sides. "I'm not a damn captain anymore Q, my crew is dead-!"

Her voice cracked and she held her face in her hands, taking deep shuddering breaths before grabbing the mug again. She took another slow sip of coffee, taking a deep breath.

“I’m sorry," he said softly. She nodded, finishing off her mug and setting it down on the tray.

“‘Kathy’ is alright. I shouldn’t have yelled.”

“My dear Kathy, no one has more of a right to yell than you do.”

She set her tray to the side, and he vanished it as soon as it left her hands.

She spent the day in bed, alternating hours of sleeping and crying and only breaking this routine to begrudgingly eat the meals Q conjured for her. Although she hardly said a word, he stayed with her the entire time, keeping her dreams peaceful and making sure she was comfortable.

---

Almost a month passed this way; Kathryn could hardly leave her room. She ate her meals and drank her coffee in silence, ignoring Q and staring into nothingness. He fought off her nightmares and talked to her even though he hardly ever got answers outside small grunts and single words.

He never knew her crew meant this much to her. Sure, she’d told him, she’d been so determined to get home, she watched over them like a mother bear, but he woefully realized that he’d never really listened to her. Seeing her like this was truly jarring.

One day, she’d been in a darker place than usual. She’d thrown her mug at the wall, sending hot coffee and shards of glass everywhere, and screamed for him to leave. He forgot himself for a moment and left the Continuum, knocking a few moons out of orbit before righting them again and heading back. He found her sitting in the living room, and she said in a voice hoarse from sobbing, “I’m sorry Q.” She watched him with watery eyes as he stepped closer, and he said, “It’s alright… I shouldn't have left you alone, you have every right to be angry.” He sat down next to her hesitantly, and before he could react, she moved closer and hugged him. He returned the hug gently, feeling her begin to cry in his arms.

Miss Q arrived one evening while Kathryn was sleeping, and Q stood in front of her door with a glare.

“Don’t you dare, Q. You can’t.”

She raised an eyebrow and said, “And why can’t I? I’m bored. I know fully well that you understand the feeling.”

“She’s miserable enough without having to live out eternity this way. Please, leave her be.”

She actually smirked, chuckling low in her throat and saying, “‘Please’? Oh Q, how pathetic of you.” She snapped her fingers, disappearing from the house in a flash of light.

He teleported to Kathryn's room only to find her sitting on the edge of her bed, looking down at her hands. He could feel something almost like electricity in the air, a subtle difference he only noticed around fellow Q. His heart(?) dropped.

He knew that right now, she was feeling the full brunt of omnipotence, weighing down on her like a foot on the back of her neck. He stepped forward cautiously, but the force of her anger shoved him back against the closed door as she muttered, "What the hell did you do to me."

"This wasn't me, I swear! It was Q, that conniving-"

"Why."

He couldn't answer her.

Standing in front of her was almost like standing in the center of a supernova. He could feel the intensity of the grief rolling off of her, and it almost brought him to his knees. For her sake, he couldn't wait until a few millenia passed, when emotions began to fade and give way to crushing emptiness, but at the same time he dreaded it.

As she narrowed her eyes at him and snapped vindictively, sending them both hurtling through space, he had to admit she adjusted quickly. He truthfully expected nothing less from her, and he would have been proud were it not for the fact that he was currently being dragged through space and time like a ragdoll. Given the circumstances, for the first time in forever, he was terrified.

She yelled at him in the Qs' language, and while hearing her voice saying those words(?) was transcendent, the meaning behind them made him want to hide in the nearest blackhole and never come out again.

"Why did she do this? Why did she make me this way? Answer me, Q!"

"She said she was bored, nothing more! She didn't mean anything by it!"

She lashed out, dragging him through an anomaly and raging, "That would be just my luck, to spend the rest of time itself as part of a species who torments sentient life because they're bored!"

She vanished, leaving him reeling.

It wasn't until fifty years later that he found her standing on top of a trash freighter in the Delta Quadrant, watching Voyager's remains being hauled away.

She wore her Starfleet uniform, her (lovely) hair pulled back into her signature bun. She felt his presence and said softly, "Go away." He manifested beside her in his own corporeal form, sitting down on the hull. She sat down next to him and blinked back tears (he remembered tears, from his mortal experience on the Enterprise-D).

"Kathy… this won't help."

"I know it won't."

She clasped her hands together and took in a deep breath, saying, "It doesn't get any better, does it?" He looked down at the bulkhead beneath his feet and said, "I wouldn't know. I haven't… cared for anything as strongly as you cared for them."

He thought for a quick second before saying, "If it makes you feel any better, you're Q now. You can see anything you want, do anything you like."

She looked at him and said lowly, "You really don't know anything about me, do you? After all those years of stalking me and trying to win me over, you never really took the time to learn who I am. If you think I'm going to enjoy being trapped in limbo, never able to move on from this miserable existence, then you don't know me at all."

She disappeared, and with that, Voyager's remains ceased to exist.

He stayed on the bulkhead of the trash freighter for a while longer, staring out at the empty space in front of him. He wasn't sure what was to be done now.

---

The first thing she did was try to undo what happened to Voyager. She went back and vanished the other ship into nothingness, but as she did, she could feel every individual life cease to exist all at once. It hit her like a punch to the throat.

She watched her crew go on living, but she wasn't used to changing time, and what she changed only caused another timeline.

Back in her timeline, her crew was still dead.

She tried everything she could, but the results remained the same. She supposed she could have ripped the universe apart but in the end she didn't see the point.

---

Years, decades, centuries passed and Kathryn grew used to omnipotence.

She started off the rest of eternity by exploring, still driven by the humanity inside her to see all that she could. She looked but never touched, determined not to become a monster but too dreadfully aimless to remove herself entirely.

She visited Earth only once, but without her crew the planet held nothing but bitterness. She never visited it again.

In a somewhat desperate attempt to regain some small bit of normalcy, she lived in different species for a couple millenia. She'd mingle, learn all there was to learn, sometimes staying for hundreds of years at a time before moving to the next.

The more and more she lived as a Q, the less and less sense the Prime Directive made to her. The notion left her mind entirely one day, as she stopped an asteroid from decimating a planet populated by a civilization that deemed her the Goddess of Good Fortune shortly afterward. She found somewhat of a purpose, gaining a similar reputation in thousands of solar systems, halting plagues and natural disasters and all manner of disputes.

She refused to be associated with the Continuum. She never sought them out, and for the longest time, she didn't see any of them.

Q finally came to talk to her, watching carefully from afar as she drifted on the edge of a spiral galaxy in the incorporeal form she hated so much. She thought she would never get used to the feeling.

"What do you want, Q?"

"I'd just like to talk."

"...Alright."

She appeared in the tunic she'd worn on the planet she and Chakotay had dubbed New Earth, sitting cross-legged in the void. Q joined her in his usual uniform, looking at her with a silent question on his features.

"I'm sorry, Kathy, you must know that by now."

She paused before saying softly, "I know."

She rested her chin on her hand and said, "I've given it quite a bit of thought, between the distractions. Time… is so incredibly different this way. I guess it doesn't matter now."

She faced him and said, "The emptiness is… almost suffocating sometimes. I've lived a thousand different lives, on so many different worlds, but it doesn't mean a thing. Not a damn thing. I can pretend, but I'm not like them anymore."

Her voice quivered as she said, "I can barely even mourn properly. I feel… I feel numb, but that's not the right word. I know it was senseless, I know there was nothing I could have done, but I can't accept that. But I have to."

He hesitated, for once in his life(?) thinking before he spoke.

"You may not believe me, and I've given you plenty of reason not to, but I admire you."

She looked back out into the void, chuckling darkly. He raised both hands and said, "I do. Any other-"

He caught himself, "A Q would have lashed out. Half the universe would be in ruins, but you, Kathryn Janeway, the marvel of the human race… I used to scoff at your morals, but…" He looked down at his hands and then back at her, saying softly, "You're so much better than I could ever be."

They sat there in silence, watching everything and nothing all at once. She caught herself speaking aloud, startling them both, "Hold me." He gave her a puzzled look and she said, "Please."

Without hesitation, he pulled her into a tight hug, feeling her return it. He planted a small kiss under her ear and she rested her forehead on his shoulder, holding onto him a little tighter. He could feel her emotions filling the space around them, her frustration, anger, but the most overwhelming was the crushing grief. It poured off of her in relentless waves that had long since dragged her under.

He held her, stroking her hair and staying silent as she began to cry. He didn’t need to infer too much to know that he shouldn’t say anything, and even if he should, he wouldn't know what. He supposed if she were in a better mood, she would have found that amusing, Q, not knowing what to say, but he doubted she would be in a better mood again.

Slowly, over the course of a few hours, the waves subsided to numbness, and she disappeared without another word. He stayed behind, looking out at the galaxy gently turning before him. She had called this the Milky Way before, and he almost had the mind to destroy it.

He plucked it out of space and held it in his palm, regarding it with something almost resembling disgust. A simple thought, that's all it would take, but something stopped him. He paused, letting it turn in his hand before leaving it hanging in the void.

---

Another thousand years came and went like it was nothing, and Q didn’t see Kathryn once. He saw her handiwork: corrected orbits, cured plagues, halted disasters of every caliber, but never the orchestrator. That was, until one day she found him instead of the other way around.

He had gone back to Earth and found nothing he remembered. Humans had changed drastically since the last time he'd seen them, and when he arrived, they simply ignored him. He knew it was foolish, but he almost felt hurt. He was sitting inside a nebula, vanishing stars without systems when she found him.

She didn't say a word, sitting down next to him and hugging her knees to her chest. He couldn't feel her emotions at first, and as he probed for them, he found nothing but a small fragment of her grief.

He turned to face her and said, "I can see why you hate this so much…" He paused before saying softly, "Kathr- Kathy, I am so sorry-"

She interrupted him with a swift kiss on the mouth, and as he looked at her in utter bewilderment, she said, "Enough apologies, Q." She leaned in again, and there was nothing he could do to move away.

This kiss was slow. It was everything he'd ever wanted, but at the same time it wasn't. Her arms hooked around his neck and her hands wandered to his hair, but she was so dreadfully cold. Where he should have felt passion, warmth, love, if not love then lust, anything, he felt nothing.

I’ve made it to the point that I don’t even have to play songs anymore, I just need the first note and the name and then the little speaker in my head does the rest

Will upload new top 10 list later today

My dumbass 6 year old self wanted to be a cop.

If its more than one of these, vote the one that was strongest and/or lasted the longest.

I wanted to be a marine illustrator !! Like for textbooks n stuff

I’m fully vaccinated… and this is officially the moment I am at my 4th confirmation of being sick with Covid.

I just want to be a working human…

And even if I knew it was a bad idea I still did it

Everyone knows that made a deal with a devil is a bad idea

Heck, I did it before and it ended bad. I lose everything I ever loved and it wasn't enough, never it's enough...

And still, I did it again...

Well it's not like I had a choice

HOW DO THEY DO THAT SHIT

I just watched my dad physically skip every single Hamilton song and I don’t know why I feel attacked right now.

My OTP'S in the form of BTS gifs

Melekseev

(Jimin actually looks like Niki what the fuck)

Metamoro

Ferman/Yağmur

(Yağmur is literally Jin though)

Isaiah/Kristian

Gerita

Benjamin/Eric

(Might edit this later)

(Feel free to add your otps in a reblog)

Update: I went back and bought it

Things are opening up in my area, so I went out and found this

Hi! Adira Tal would read Sprik fanfic. This came about from a convo with @ashlexzz. I showed Ashlexzz Coleydoesthings (fanfic youtuber very good go check her out) I showed them this video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sq3iQnkXA7s

Ash: THE SHIRT???? PROBABLY READING SMUT?? HELLO I CNAT 👀

Me: Put Adira in it lol.

Ash: I CNAT U WANT ME TO DRAW THEM IN TGAT SHIRT I can't so u want me to draw adira with what shirt

Me: DO IT!!! Just Adira then gray is the most normal fanfic shirt ever.

Ash: hmmm I'll do it:333

Me: I mean it would be funny but only if you want to man. LOL. Their reading Sprik fanfic lol i am killing myself.

Ash: I think imma do adira with That or naw:3 GIGGLING okay imma put that in art I should draw for later:33

The shirt says "probably reading smut".

I can't do this anymore! I am so tired and laughing so much. God Damnit I will regret this in the morning I can just tell. If you see art of this I am sorry!!!! Also tag me Ash.

I regret drawing this 😭/hsrs

Uhhhhh, anyways I made a sketch of Nom Nom

Guys please don't kill me I drew this as a joke I swear I cringed at this sketch too

(Also please don't tag this as Grizznom this isn't a ship)

"Do you think it'll stop one day?" Percy asked of him one day, breaking the comfortable silence they both basked in.

Poseidon tilted his head toward his child, raising his eyebrow as Percy laid down on the wooden floor of the dock.

"What, little one?" He questions the boy back, his tone curious and fond.

His son sighs softly, splashing around the water with his feet. He looks up at the lavender-toned dawn, stars shining across the heavens like a divine pattern on the fabric of the world.

"The suffering. The constant struggle for a losing battle where I can never win." The boy says, the reflection of the stars in his eyes, like a swirling galaxy of miracles and wonder.

Poseidon stills.

He slowly turns to his son and closes his eyes as he breaths out his words.

"I'm sorry." He apologizes.

"Don't be," Percy says back, his voice firm but soft. "It's not your fault, and neither it is mine. I'm not blaming you for loving me enough to make my existence a reality."

Poseidon opens his eyes, his gaze filled with sadness.

"Then what can I do?" Poseidon whispers desperately. "Whisk you away to be my side? Keep you chained to this land by immortalizing your body and destroying your soul? You wouldn't want any of that. I am a god and yet I can do nothing to aid you with your pain." He finishes, falling silent as angry waves crash upon the shore and stormy clouds cover the sky like curtains.

Percy glances at the crashing waves on the horizon, at the dark ocean that stretches to eternity and beyond.

"I don't know. And it's okay for you to not know either." Percy says calmly.

"Just be here for me until I won't be here at all."

And wait until comes forth the inevitable end.

I made about half a gallon(I drank some.) of Kool-Aid with milk instead of water. I didn’t feel like changing the water filter. It tasted pretty good ngl.