Family Stories - Tumblr Posts

Random story

Today, a story when I was a kid popped up on my head. My grandmother’s late cat was a weird bastard and according to my grandmother, he would try to lead me places. He liked me the most for some reason. With other kids, he was like this when they got a bit too annoying for his taste:

But with me we were like this:

( We were like Sam and Dean Winchester. Less monster fighting and more sibling relationship.)

This is the story of him looking like some sort of weird child of the forest.

It was a humid evening in my grandmothers property in Ohio. We were having a dance party in the patch grass between the animal-less barn and the Big House. There was a patch of ferns and he was lulled to sleep by the music and laughter. I saw him. He was on his side eyes closed, looking content. I wish I took a pic he looked like some guardian of the forest. The cat is 3 years gone, and there are some weird stories about him in our family.

My mother just gave me advice on how to befriend my neighbours 👌 (They have a cat and I REALLY want to cuddle the cat.)

The moral of the lecture is: apparently asking for sugar is the way to make new friends 👆

Visiting my parents...

*showing my mum a picture of a guy I like* Mum: he looks like a teacher on a ship I once had a crush on! Dad: the gay one? Mum: nah, that was another one...it sure took me a while to realise why he'd never responded to my flirting though.

There is more…

*Mum is already planning some future events including the guy I dated ONCE* Me: That’s why I don’t tell you this stuff. You immediately start planning like my wedding. Dad: you should be relieved she’s not planning your divorce already.

Visiting my parents...

*showing my mum a picture of a guy I like* Mum: he looks like a teacher on a ship I once had a crush on! Dad: the gay one? Mum: nah, that was another one…it sure took me a while to realise why he’d never responded to my flirting though.

Yesterday I told my brother that my aunt can buy the manga we want, but we can only order it from one site. We looked at the catalog, there is not much interesting, but still there is. I didn't want to take it, I'd rather find it on the Internet. And this genius utters a phrase.

- Can we order?

- For what? I don't need it.

- And for me?

- Will you read it?

- No.

I want to clarify that he does not like to read.

Grandma regrets that they forgot to buy fruit, and I enjoy the fact that I ate 2 burgers (my brother didn't want to eat, so he gave it to me).

Then they filled up that they forgot to take sweet water.

Mother of the Year:

I: My stomach hurts. Mom, I want to eat.

Mom: after a while you can go eat.

I: Well, mom!

Mom: better go to the exercise bike.

So my sister’s science class are doing ecosystems

And so they have these two fish.

So they named one tiny, and like a week later came to the realization that tiny was kind of a stupid name because the fish would grow, so the ended up settling with shiny, to which everyone had come to terms with. (Then my sister wanted to name it Jesus and everyone was like “no” and someone suggested JJ and my sister has decided his full name is Jesus Jesus)

Anyway, my sister had better plans for the second fish though, for she would not make the same mistake of having an unoriginal name. 

So she sticks her hand up and says “BARRY BLUE JEANS” to which he is now named. Taz fans can now rest easy that in a 9th grade science class, there is a little red and blue fish named after the best man in blue jeans

my parents are having a dead serious fight in the family star trek-themed groupchat exclusively using jessica jones gifs. w h a t.