Gainer Diary - Tumblr Posts
Gainer Diary:
Newfound Chubbiness
When did I get so soft? I used to be so lean and fit, but now I look at myself in the mirror and all i see is a man who's let himself go.... The muscle is still there, but it is buried in soft, supple fat that jiggles whenever I walk. Sometimes I wish I could go back to the fit jock that I used to be, but I know it's too late for me. I've become too greedy.
Greedy to eat. Greedy to lift. Greedy to grow.
I'm supposed to hate my newfound chubbiness but the softer I become the harder I get. The urge to lift and become a muscle beast is still there, but I am afraid I will not be able to reach that goal if I am unable to control my inner PIG.
Gainer Diary
Is OINKING to myself like a pig weird?
Does anyone else oink when they get turned on or am I just weird?? I tried it for the first time tonight- it felt weird at first, but it kinda seemed natural for some reason....I keep telling myself I'm going to transform into a huge muscular beast by lifting hard at the gym, but there's something else inside me that feels close to releasing itself... And idk if I'll be able to control it once it gets out *snort*snort* 🐷
Gainer Diary:
The Fog
A true recollection
My brain goes foggy when I think about myself turning myself into a pig. I don't know how to describe it exactly, but whenever I think about gaining weight, I get excited. I get so excited that my brain starts to turn foggy. (Even while writing this entry, I am starting to feel it.) Every other thought leaves my head and it becomes difficult to think about anything besides making myself fatter. As time goes by and my waistline expands, it becomes harder to control this mind-state because the fogginess is comforting to me now, and I don't want to leave it. Often, instead of fighting it, I will smoke myself up to make sure I fall deeper into the fog, leading to a long night of filling my belly beyond capacity.
This morning I woke up barely remembering my stuffing session last night after the fog took me over, but the remnants of last night's binge were scattered around me. Candy wrappers...empty bags of chips...hollow cartons of Boost VHC.... My belly feels so empty this morning, yet there seems to be more to grab than there was yesterday.
I cannot say for certain what is happening to me, but I can feel control slowly slipping away into the fog.
Gainer Diary:
The Beach 🏖️
First day at the beach this summer 🏖️ Got a little tan. Got a little burnt 🥵
In all honesty, I was extremely nervous about going to the beach and having to take off my shirt in front of so many people, including my family after gaining 60+lbs. But once I did it, I realized I've never felt more confident about my body. Even after getting so many comments on my newly developed belly, I just owned it and knew in the back of my mind that I looked great. Such an empowering feeling 💪🐷🍔
Shirtless pic coming soon. RoadTo300
Gainer Diary: Mental Block
So, I've had this mental block with my gains- tell me if this is relatable or if I'm just crazy.
I love watching guys of all shapes, sizes and colors fatten up and beef up. I think the process is hot as hell, and I think when ANY man gains weight it is unbelievably hot.
But recently, I have had this mental block, where I do not think I will look good if I gain more weight. As if my gain won't be "unbelievably hot" like every male weight gain I've witnessed.
I want to gain weight...I want to gain a lot of weight. But, there is this tiny voice in the back of my head saying, "you won't be sexy like all of these other guys you've seen gain weight. You should stop gaining". I do gain for myself, but it is hard to silence that voice.
Lmk if this is relatable or if I'm just weird. and if anyone else HAS gone through this, please hmu with some advice to push through it.
Gainer Diary: Fast Food Addiction
I used to hit the gym 5 times a day. I loved to pose in front of the mirror and watch my muscles grow bigger, and I feel myself grow stronger. There was nothing better than a good pump after the gym. I was addicted to the feeling.
That was until I discovered fast food...
What started off as a simple idea to get in a few extra calories every so often soon turned into a nightly ritual... I started skipping workouts just so I could stuff myself with as many greasy burgers, fries, and milkshakes as I could.
I started to see the numbers on the scale go up... I was excited at first because I thought my muscle mass was increasing. But I realized I hadn't been to the gym in months... My gains weren't coming from muscle growth anymore; they were coming from fat.
I noticed my belly start to swell. My pecs became soft and my love handles began to spill over my waistband. My ass grew so fat, that none of my pants fit anymore.
However, I could not bring myself to start going to the gym again. I needed that salty, fatty, and creamy taste in my mouth more than I needed to feel my muscles strain.
That's when I knew... I have a new addiction now...
