Gonff - Tumblr Posts
Bella: Is anyone going to tell me what's going on in here?
Martin: It's kind of complicated, but Gonff—
Bella: Got it. Forget I asked.
Gonff, self-acclaimed "Prince of Thieves," is so very smart and clever /s
Gonff, looking at a bunch of guards: How are we gonna get past them without a fight?
Martin: I'll tell you how we’ll do it.
Martin, looking at the ceiling: The vents.
Gonff: Ah, blast the AC, they get chilly, they leave to find sweaters.
Martin: No, we're gonna climb through them.
Gonff: Even better. Classic use of vents.
Gonff is only saying that because he’s jealous of Dinny
Gonff: gay as hell for a man to do combat surgery. why your hands inside another man?
Log-a-Log: Oh youre tryna save his life ? Because you love him ?
Martin, trying to save Dinny's life: Can you two PLEASE let me work?
Gonff, dripping water on the floor: it's always 'why did you go out in the storm' and 'you're soaking wet' and never How was the storm The storm looked fun Was it fun
Gonff: Martin, I need your help with my April Fools pranks
Martin: April Fools was yesterday though?
Gonff: Those were just my generic, run-of-the-mill pranks. I’m pulling the real pranks today, while everyone’s guard is down
One might expect Gonff to be the dangerous one but Martin is an undercover wild card
Gonff: Martin offered me his drink this morning because I mentioned I was thirsty.
Dinny: Oh, well that was nice of him.
Gonff: It was...but I was not fucking expecting to take a sip of a Baja Blast Mountain Dew at 7 in the morning.
HEHEHEHEHE
[introducing Gonflet]
Columbine: He has your eyes.
Gonff: Give me back my eyes you thief baby!
This is more funny because ducks would be very large
Gonff, hungover: please tell me I imagined claiming I was the king of all ducks
Martin: Well I would, but then I would be lying to the King of all Ducks
Gonff: My life is a cautionary tale, but like a cool, flashy one that instead of inspiring people to do better it inspires them to be more chaotic
So true bestie
Martin: What’s up? I’m back.
Gonff: I literally saw you die. You died. You were dead.
Martin: Death is a social construct
People would blame Gonff but I’m suspicious of Martin’s actions
Bella: What did you two do?
Martin:
Gonff:
Bella: You're not in trouble, I just need to know if I have to lie to the police again or not.
I love the idea that Martin is a parental figure to Gonflet. I mean, that’s how the Abbey works with all adults+dibbuns, but still
Gonflet: *sneaks into house at 2am*
Martin: *turns in swivel chair* care to tell me where you were?
Gonflet: I was with... Uh... Dad!
Gonff: *also turns in swivel chair*. Care to- *keeps spinning* Martin- I can't stop the chair-
I particularly love headcanons of these two and what they were doing between book events.
Gonff: I am beginning to think we made a mistake.
Martin: What gave it away? The guards, the chains, or my stab wound?
Gonff: My life isn't as glamourous as my wanted poster makes it look
Gonff, to Martin, Dinny & Log-a-log: Okay, so I know that this is MY fault entirely, but this is OUR problem now.
Columbine: There is a thin line between being a genius and being a complete idiot. Columbine: My husband and his friends use that line as a fucking jump rope.
Gonff: Martin! Martin, running into the forest: Don’t try and stop me! Gonff: I’m not trying to stop you! Martin: What? Gonff: I’m coming with you!
Gonff: You know, it’s nice to feel wanted Bella: Yes, but not by the ENTIRE KOTIR GUARD
I love this one! Very good!!!!!
Hey there, cat. Its them. Ya bois