Graphic Depictions Of Violence - Tumblr Posts

Day 2 : Again.

Luffy relives the worst day of his life, over and over again.

I wasn't inspired by today's prompts so I chose one of the alternatives: Time Loop. Since I didn't have time to write everything, I'll post loop by loop as I go along, instead of all at once. This story is quite hard to read (and write), so pay attention to the warnings and take care of yourself above all <3 Trigger Warnings: - Graphic Description of Violence - Blood and Injuries - Burns - Major Character Death Fandom : One Piece (Anime & Manga) Character(s) : Monkey D. Luffy Relationship(s) : Monkey D. Luffy & Portgas D. Ace Words Count : 1,548 No. 2: ALTERNATIVE  Time Loop

First Loop

Luffy struggled to retrieve Ace's Vivre Card that was slipping from his fingers. It was in front of him, just inches away, and yet unreachable. He didn't really know why, but he had to retrieve that Vivre Card. It was important, it was a part of Ace. He couldn't lose it. Nothing else mattered. The outside world faded into the background around him — the screams of agony, the smell of blood and smoke, the corpses he was stepping on to escape — leaving only the small burning piece of paper in his field of vision. 

(Ace had been burned by Akainu. His big brother, the one who always walked two steps ahead of him, unreachable and strong , the living embodiment of fire, had been burned . Sabo had died in the flames of an explosion. Luffy had forgotten it, but big brothers could burn too.)

Luffy's hand finally closed around Ace's Vivre Card and the panic that clouded his mind subdued. He had succeeded, Ace wouldn't leave him.

He had promised.

“You won't leave here alive!”

Luffy looked up and met Ace's desperate gaze. Why was Ace looking at him like that? He should be happy, Luffy had his Vivre Card back.

“Luffy!”

The flaming fist of Absolute Justice charged at him, invading his field of vision until all he could see was flames — stories whispered by a campfire, the burn of the Grey Terminal fire on his skin, Ace's arm around his shoulders in the middle of winter — and bloody red.

Oh.

Luffy wanted to move, should have moved, but he couldn't. The world was so fast when he was so slow, exhaustion slowing all his movements to the very core of his bones.

(If his crew was there, he could have rested for five minutes before going back into battle, but Luffy was alone .)

Suddenly, without Luffy understanding what was happening — he was so tired — Ace was in front of him, smiling sadly. Luffy's eyes widened in horror as he noticed the fist through Ace's body. The smell of burning flesh hit him in the face and Ace vomited blood, a retch shaking his entire body.

Akainu stepped back, removing his fist from Ace's body carelessly, Ace's guts falling to the ground, bloody and steaming. There was a hole in Ace's torso, where his lungs should have been. The skin around the wound was burned raw, sizzling with blisters and peeling away to the bone. And amidst the mess of ruined and damaged flesh, hidden behind his broken ribs, his brother's still beating heart. 

Thud, thud, thud.

Luffy focused on Ace's fading heartbeat, clinging to his brother's last breath of life. Ace wasn't dead yet! Luffy could still save him. Luffy remembered yelling at Akainu who was raising his fist once more to finish Ace off, but he didn't remember Jinbei and Ace's friends intervening.

Everything vanished when Ace fell to his knees in Luffy's arms. Luffy caught him, his hand red, red, red when he looked at it after touching Ace's back. Luffy placed his hand on the wound, trying to stop the endless bleeding. Ace slid into Luffy's arms, his head falling onto his shoulder, and Luffy tightened his grip around Ace, refusing to let him go.

"I'm sorry, Luffy," Ace struggled to say, choking. "I'm so sorry, I stopped you from saving me properly. Forgive me.”

Ace was breathing heavily, just talking, draining him of his meager strength. Blood was dripping down Luffy's shoulder in large drops.

"What are you talking about? Stop talking nonsense!"

Ace wasn't dying, Luffy could still feel his heart beating between his fingers. Ace wasn't dying. He couldn't die. He had promised. He couldn't die.

"Someone!" Luffy begged, screaming until his vocal cords broke, feeling the heat leave Ace's body. “Heal his wounds! Save Ace!”

Luffy didn't like the cold. Cold meant being alone in the night, cold meant an empty place in the treehouse. Cold meant Death.

"Luffy stop," Ace said weakly. "My time has come. He burned me from the inside out, I won't make it this time.”

And Ace was never weak. He was bold and brash and mean at times, a raging fire. Never weak, always strong. Ace was the reason Luffy survived Sabo's death. Because Ace was strong where Luffy wasn't, learning to be kind and caring for Luffy.

Ace was strong .

Luffy wasn't.

“No! You promised”! Luffy refused, understanding what his big brother meant. “You told me Ace, right? You said you wouldn't die!”

Because Ace was strong but he was also stupid. He forgot obvious things sometimes and Luffy had to remind him. Like the fact that Luffy loved him. But if Luffy reminded him of his promise, then maybe Ace wouldn't die.

“You promised,” Luffy stopped himself from sobbing. Ace didn't like whiners.

“You know, if it wasn't for Sabo, if I didn't have a little brother like you to watch over. I wouldn't have wanted to live.” Luffy's heart clenched painfully in his chest. “No one wanted me after all. So it's completely normal.”

Ace clung to Luffy like a lifeline, as if Luffy was the only thing keeping him alive. Luffy was terrified that he wouldn’t be enough to keep Ace alive for a little longer.

“Oh right, if you ever run into Dadan again, could you say goodbye for me?” Ace laughed softly, his laughter cut off by a coughing fit. “It’s strange, now that I’m about to die, I feel like I miss her.”

Ace’s breath was labored, his voice hoarse. And Luffy didn’t dare look — because if he did, he’d have to face his big brother’s dying face — but he was pretty sure Ace was crying, his shoulders shaking with silent sobs.

“I only have one regret, and that’s not seeing your dream come true. But I know you, you’ll get there, that’s for sure.” Ace and Sabo had been among the first to hear his dream, among the first to believe in him. “You're my brother after all.”

Luffy had two brothers. One had been dead for over ten years, the other was dying in his arms. Who was going to believe in his dreams now?

And yet Luffy couldn't do anything. He was frozen, afraid that the slightest movement would make things worse. The only thing he could do was hold his brother in his arms as he died, hoping that Ace would feel all the love Luffy had for him.

Ace was loved. He had to know that, right ?

"As we promised each other back then, I have no regrets about the life I led."

This time, Luffy couldn't help but protest. This wasn't how it was going to end. It couldn't be.

(Ace's heartbeat was getting slower and slower, more and more rare.)

"No, you're lying!"

"No, it's true!" Ace insisted, his fingers digging painfully into Luffy's shoulder with a surprising strength for a dead man. “It seems that what I always wanted in the end wasn't fame or glory. But just the answer to my question. Why did I come into this world? "

Ace had always been haunted by his past, by the past of those who had come before him, that of his parents. But Luffy didn't live in the past, he didn't care who Ace's father was. What mattered was the present, what mattered was that Ace was Luffy 's brother.

Ace was Ace and that was all that mattered. Ace had always been enough.

"Luffy, I want you to listen to what I have to say and tell the others afterwards," Luffy knew at that moment that his brother's words would be his last. He wasn't ready for that. “Even though I've been a good-for-nothing my whole life, even though I carry the blood of a demon.”

The fighting raged around them and yet it had never been interrupted. Ace's family fought to give them one last moment, one last hug.

"Thank you for loving me!"

Crying, Ace formed a smile on his lips for the last time. Ace collapsed in Luffy's arms, his hand falling from Luffy's neck where Ace had clung to during his final moments, leaving a trail of blood along Luffy's cheek.

Ace fell to the ground, alive one moment, dead the next, and Luffy screamed out all his pain and sorrow, inaudible amidst the horrors of war. Ace was dead.

Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. 

Ace was dead.

Ace.

Was.

Dead.

Ace was dead.

Years of memories flashed through Luffy's mind in a split second - all ending with the same tragic phrase "thank you for loving me", all ending with Ace's death - shattering his psyche to the last piece.

They were always meant to end up here - Ace, dead and Luffy, helpless - there was nothing Luffy could have done to change things.

“ACE!!!”

In the end, when the darkness reached out to him, Luffy welcomed it willingly. Luffy fell into nothingness, hoping to never come out. Not if it meant living in a world alone.

Click. Again .

Graphic Depiction Of Violence, believe it or not. damn.......

then i saw a lot of noncon stuff after so DAMN!

@cyberp-1-nk @anni-is-here @salemssimblr @decaysal HELPPPP

ur turn now bbgs :)

First thing you see after you zoom in is how you die

How you dying 👀

Whumptober 10 : Passing out from pain

Please, Please, Please

Pairing: Remus x Severus | WC: 2292 | Tags: Remus as Death eater, enemies with benefits, Marauders era, Hurt no comfort, angst, torture, ambiguous ending, Whumptober2024

TW: Torture, Graphic Depictions of Violence, Blood, Mentions/thoughts of death

Summary: After being continuously called a traitor by his friends and lover, Remus has enough and leaves. He does the one thing they accused him off; join the death eaters. Though with a bigger plan in mind; Destroy Voldemort from the inside. Turns out, he isn’t the only one with that plan.

Just as the group finally have a small victory the prophecy happens. Remus find out Severus has alternative motive. One that involves none other than Lily.

A/N: please! read the trigger warnings And if I missed one please correct me. (dear merlin I hope I got them all) I have a plan for this long, very dark fic. But I wanted to improve my writing first? To write darker, grittier themes? Well, here you go.

(You can also read this on AO3)

"And what did you expect would happen?" Remus yelled, being completely fed up. He so desperately wanted to help, wanted to prevent a wizarding war from happening. Trying to look after his former friends even though they made it clear they hated him. Was called a traitor when he’d done nothing wrong, yet. But also standing here. Having to deal with these death eaters that he'd formed an alliance with. Who, just like him, wanted Voldemort gone. At times it was so hard. All he wanted to do was just, give up. Flee the country. Start somewhere new. Forget all of this. "Did you actually expect this grand plan of yours to work? That he would kill James and Harry and what? Leave Lily for you? You can't honestly be that stupid."

"Shut up you filthy animal. You don't know what you're talking about," Severus shot back at him. They were standing barely a meter apart yet were yelling at the top of their lungs. Severus looked uncomposed and a bit mad, which was completely out of character. Hair tangled, clothes in disarray, face red. The sneer was a familiar one.

"I do know what I'm talking about. After all they just dropped my ass like I was nothing. Almost a decade of being a tight nit group just thrown in the trash without a second of hesitation! And you think she will forgive you? Accept you? You honestly think Lily will love you at all?" 

Every word he said was meant to hurt. He'd always felt like there was more to Severus plan. He'd always seemed like the person who wanted to fit in, climb the social ladder, get the power, hate on muggles. So why would he join the group to take Voldemort down? For a while Remus had been certain that he was a double spy, ready to take their group out. But the realisation that it was this crush, this obsession with Lily. That was an unexpected turn. Or maybe he was blindsided by this because they’d been fucking. Getting rid of all that build up tension. The sudden reveal of a lifelong love for Lily combined with how he was talking about her. It made him ill.

"That is because you are nothing. You cumulate to nothing. You're a passable wizard. A disgusting, uncontrollable animal. A leech of a friend. Desperate to fuck anything that walks. You have no redeemable qualities," Severus hissed. Every word stabbed him like a knife, then it was twisted before it was pulled out. Only to repeat it over and over again. It wasn't like he hadn't told himself all of those things over and over again. Apparently it wasn’t low self-esteem. It was common knowledge. And it stung.

His hands balled into fists, shaking slightly with the pure rage that was building in him. This wasn't even about him! This was about Severus and his insane plan. He stepped closer and grabbed the front of Severus clothes, yanking him closer.

"Finally doing some self-reflection?" he said, voice shaking with anger. Anger that always laid so close to the surface now a days. Just waiting, ready to pounce. And if Severus was handing himself on a plate, he would gladly take it. "Hi Lily, remember me? The one who called you names and dropped you for people who hate you and your kind with every fibre of your being? All so I could finally feel a tiny bit of power?"

"You only felt powerful because you could hide behind Black and Potter."

"As if you weren't hiding behind Malfoy and Mulciber. As if you weren't just as big of a bitch as I was."

It was quiet for a moment but he knew a storm was brewing. Those black eyes were on fire. They were roaming his face, probably looking for the best place to attack.

"Lily will forgive me for all of that. The manipulated, sad, lonely boy. Black on the other hand will always think of you as trash that he's glad to be rid of."

And wasn't that the truth. He was pretty certain Sirius would never forgive him. Lily, James, Peter. They would all understand his motives, they understood the grey area. But Sirius worked in black and white. He had turned to the death eaters. No matter what his reasoning was, he would never be forgiven. He'd known that. Realised it pretty early on. After all, he loved that man and knew him almost better than himself. If he went along with his plan, Sirius would still hate him. But at least there was a world where he could be hated in. He'd given up his love to ensure there was a future. He didn't believe even for a second that was true for Severus. The man was too selfish for that.

"You think she will? Really?" he whispered softly, grinning at Severus. He knew he probably looked insane, but he wasn't letting this slide. He wouldn't accept the death of James and Harry just so Severus could have his wicked fantasy. "Hi Lily. Heard you're single again. Sorry about the death of your husband and child, whom you loved dearly. Yes, I could've saved them. But I couldn't let them get in my way of having you. You’re mine after all. Now be a good girl an-"

He was roughly shoved backwards, stumbling for a second before he found his footing again.

"Ah what's wrong Severus? I think she'll be begging on her knees for you to take her back!?"

"Shut up you disgusting beast!"

"Oh Severus! I was so wrong! Of course I don't want the nice, good looking, family man! I don't know what came over me!" He pitched his voice, pouted and purposely acted horribly. Hands clasped together on his chest and blinking rapidly. Lily would never sound or act like that. But anything to get under Severus's skin. To make him see how insane his plan was.

"You're my hero Sev! You saved me from a comfortable life with a loving family!"

"CRUCIO!"

There was no way to dodge or avoid being hit by the spell. The red light flashed and hit him square in the chest. Pain rushed over him and seemed to reach every part of his body. As if a thousand little needles were stabbing him everywhere. His body contorted, he didn't feel like he was in control anymore. All his muscles cramped into pain.

Then suddenly the stabbing pain was gone and he had control over his limbs again. Not that it improved the situation much as more pain registered in his brain. Pain in his back and shoulders, head pounding in several places. He was apparently on the ground now and it stung against his limbs. Cold seeping through his clothes making his cramped-up muscles stiff and unmovable. His mouth was dry. But when he tried to swallow it felt like someone was rubbing sandpaper in his throat.

"Who's the pathetic bitch now," the words were like venom spat at him.

"Crucio."

The pain returned and it didn't let up for a long time. He had no idea how long he lay there. Every muscle in his body was screaming in pain. It felt like his skin was slowly being stripped away from his flesh. Leaving him open and raw. He could feel his heart pounding in his head. Any moment his veins were going to burst. He was screaming, crying. But no begging. He refused to let those words pass his lips. Even now. Rather death than give in. At least all of this was finally done. Finally, peace.

Abruptly the pain stopped again. He had no idea why but he took the chance he had. Taking in deep gulps of air, his lungs burning with every intake he did. There was at least one thing clear. No matter what they already gone through, Severus truly hated him. After all, you had to actually mean it for a Cruciatus curse to work. He didn’t just want to hurt Remus, he clearly took great pleasure in it.

A sharp pain in his side made him cry out. It took him a while to realise what was happening. It only clicked when a weight pressed on his chest. Severus's boot. He was being kicked and trampled on.

"I should end your pathetic life and make a rug out of you. That way you at least serve a purpose."

The weight on his chest disappeared and he felt like he could breathe again. Not that it improved his situation much. His breaths came in short bursts, black spots darted across his field of view. He tried to swallow. He didn't succeed. It became harder and harder to control his own body. Most of it felt like it was on fire. His head felt ready to explode. He was probably drooling with how difficult it was to swallow.

"Th-eh fckn doit." he managed to mumble, unsure if it was articulated enough or loud enough.

"With pleasure. Sectumsempra!"

That was a spell he was familiar with. Of course, Snape would end his life that way.

He thought he knew the pain of knives after being hit by the Cruciatus curse. He was wrong. The feeling of a sword cutting him open over his torso was agonising. Like he could feel body being split open, the flesh peeling away. He trashed. He choked. Any movement he made increased the feeling of slowly being drained. Yet it was impossible to lie still. He attempted to raise his hands, wanting to... He wasn’t certain. Push the wound close? Ripping it further open so it was finally finished?

Then it stopped. He gasped, trying desperately to get air back in his body. Every breath hurt, lungs burning, throat raw. A few muscles were impossible to move, feeling like lead. Others were shaking, spasming. His chest felt numb, like there was nothing there. He was certain his eyes were open, but they saw nothing. His ears were supposed to work, though it was as if instead he could hear the blood rushing in his veins.

Was this what dying felt like?

Too bad it hurt so much. He had hoped that when he finally died, the pain would be gone. But it was still here. It was still all consuming.

The world was confusing. It almost felt like the pain was slowly pulled out of him. It was still there. It still burned hot, made his limps tingle and raw. But the edge, the worse of it was slowly taken away from him. As if someone had taken a needle and was ever so slowly sewing his chest back together.

He took in a deep breath and whimpered. He wasn't sure whether it was because he could finally actually breath again. Or if every single breath still hurt.

"Don't you dare fucking die on me now Lupin." He wasn't sure who said it. What did those words even mean? He was dying, wasn't he? The voice should just let him die.

"Come on you animal. I'm not letting you die before you've been useful."

"Oww" He tried to say. He didn't succeed. While he finally felt his tongue again, it was bleeding and swollen in his mouth. Not that he could feel that pain. Everything else hurt too much for it to stand out. At least his ears were working a little bit. Though every word felt like another hammer to the head. But they were working better than his eyes at the moment. They saw just black everywhere.

"The fuck is wrong with you Snape?!"

He flinched because of the loud sound, then cried out in pain because he flinched.

"We're better off without that filth."

"We're better off without you too if this is how you are going to act! What's next? You're going to poison our food? Murder us in our sleep?"

The voices were so loud and so painful. He barely registered what it was that they were yelling about. It was as if his brain tried to nudge him, but instead it only increased the painful pounding. Another wave of relief hit him. As if someone carefully took a layer of pain off of him. He tried and was finally able to swallow. The taste of iron stinging in his mouth.

"Lllly," he muttered, blood trickling out of his mouth as he attempted to say it. That had been what his brain was trying to tell him so badly. Lily. Why though? He wasn’t sure. It probably didn't matter.

"What did he say?"

"Lily. I think- for fucks sake Lupin stop moving. Merlin’s balls there is blood everywhere."

"I don't think he's in control of his body. The fuck did you do you pathetic son of a whore!?”

"Lily? Are you fucking serious? Are you still after that bitch Snape? We are trying to stop a war from happening and you can only think with your dick?"

"Guys! I need potions, now! I don't know if he's gonna make it-"

There were so many voices. All spoke so loudly and at once. It was impossible the follow. It was a complete sensory overload. Combined with the pain that kept on coming back, then disappearing again. It was so much to deal with.

He blinked a few times and was still unable to see anything. Would he ever see anything again? Maybe it was better if he didn't. Why was he still fighting? It wasn't as if anyone cared that he would be gone. No one would morn him. No one would weep for him. Maybe it was better. One less monster on this earth.

"Hurry the fuck up I'm losing him!" 

Whumptober 10 : Passing out from pain

Please, Please, Please

Pairing: Remus x Severus | WC: 2292 | Tags: Remus as Death eater, enemies with benefits, Marauders era, Hurt no comfort, angst, torture, ambiguous ending, Whumptober2024

TW: Torture, Graphic Depictions of Violence, Blood, Mentions/thoughts of death

Summary: After being continuously called a traitor by his friends and lover, Remus has enough and leaves. He does the one thing they accused him off; join the death eaters. Though with a bigger plan in mind; Destroy Voldemort from the inside. Turns out, he isn’t the only one with that plan.

Just as the group finally have a small victory the prophecy happens. Remus find out Severus has alternative motive. One that involves none other than Lily.

A/N: please! read the trigger warnings And if I missed one please correct me. (dear merlin I hope I got them all) I have a plan for this long, very dark fic. But I wanted to improve my writing first? To write darker, grittier themes? Well, here you go.

(You can also read this on AO3)

"And what did you expect would happen?" Remus yelled, being completely fed up. He so desperately wanted to help, wanted to prevent a wizarding war from happening. Trying to look after his former friends even though they made it clear they hated him. Was called a traitor when he’d done nothing wrong, yet. But also standing here. Having to deal with these death eaters that he'd formed an alliance with. Who, just like him, wanted Voldemort gone. At times it was so hard. All he wanted to do was just, give up. Flee the country. Start somewhere new. Forget all of this. "Did you actually expect this grand plan of yours to work? That he would kill James and Harry and what? Leave Lily for you? You can't honestly be that stupid."

"Shut up you filthy animal. You don't know what you're talking about," Severus shot back at him. They were standing barely a meter apart yet were yelling at the top of their lungs. Severus looked uncomposed and a bit mad, which was completely out of character. Hair tangled, clothes in disarray, face red. The sneer was a familiar one.

"I do know what I'm talking about. After all they just dropped my ass like I was nothing. Almost a decade of being a tight nit group just thrown in the trash without a second of hesitation! And you think she will forgive you? Accept you? You honestly think Lily will love you at all?" 

Every word he said was meant to hurt. He'd always felt like there was more to Severus plan. He'd always seemed like the person who wanted to fit in, climb the social ladder, get the power, hate on muggles. So why would he join the group to take Voldemort down? For a while Remus had been certain that he was a double spy, ready to take their group out. But the realisation that it was this crush, this obsession with Lily. That was an unexpected turn. Or maybe he was blindsided by this because they’d been fucking. Getting rid of all that build up tension. The sudden reveal of a lifelong love for Lily combined with how he was talking about her. It made him ill.

"That is because you are nothing. You cumulate to nothing. You're a passable wizard. A disgusting, uncontrollable animal. A leech of a friend. Desperate to fuck anything that walks. You have no redeemable qualities," Severus hissed. Every word stabbed him like a knife, then it was twisted before it was pulled out. Only to repeat it over and over again. It wasn't like he hadn't told himself all of those things over and over again. Apparently it wasn’t low self-esteem. It was common knowledge. And it stung.

His hands balled into fists, shaking slightly with the pure rage that was building in him. This wasn't even about him! This was about Severus and his insane plan. He stepped closer and grabbed the front of Severus clothes, yanking him closer.

"Finally doing some self-reflection?" he said, voice shaking with anger. Anger that always laid so close to the surface now a days. Just waiting, ready to pounce. And if Severus was handing himself on a plate, he would gladly take it. "Hi Lily, remember me? The one who called you names and dropped you for people who hate you and your kind with every fibre of your being? All so I could finally feel a tiny bit of power?"

"You only felt powerful because you could hide behind Black and Potter."

"As if you weren't hiding behind Malfoy and Mulciber. As if you weren't just as big of a bitch as I was."

It was quiet for a moment but he knew a storm was brewing. Those black eyes were on fire. They were roaming his face, probably looking for the best place to attack.

"Lily will forgive me for all of that. The manipulated, sad, lonely boy. Black on the other hand will always think of you as trash that he's glad to be rid of."

And wasn't that the truth. He was pretty certain Sirius would never forgive him. Lily, James, Peter. They would all understand his motives, they understood the grey area. But Sirius worked in black and white. He had turned to the death eaters. No matter what his reasoning was, he would never be forgiven. He'd known that. Realised it pretty early on. After all, he loved that man and knew him almost better than himself. If he went along with his plan, Sirius would still hate him. But at least there was a world where he could be hated in. He'd given up his love to ensure there was a future. He didn't believe even for a second that was true for Severus. The man was too selfish for that.

"You think she will? Really?" he whispered softly, grinning at Severus. He knew he probably looked insane, but he wasn't letting this slide. He wouldn't accept the death of James and Harry just so Severus could have his wicked fantasy. "Hi Lily. Heard you're single again. Sorry about the death of your husband and child, whom you loved dearly. Yes, I could've saved them. But I couldn't let them get in my way of having you. You’re mine after all. Now be a good girl an-"

He was roughly shoved backwards, stumbling for a second before he found his footing again.

"Ah what's wrong Severus? I think she'll be begging on her knees for you to take her back!?"

"Shut up you disgusting beast!"

"Oh Severus! I was so wrong! Of course I don't want the nice, good looking, family man! I don't know what came over me!" He pitched his voice, pouted and purposely acted horribly. Hands clasped together on his chest and blinking rapidly. Lily would never sound or act like that. But anything to get under Severus's skin. To make him see how insane his plan was.

"You're my hero Sev! You saved me from a comfortable life with a loving family!"

"CRUCIO!"

There was no way to dodge or avoid being hit by the spell. The red light flashed and hit him square in the chest. Pain rushed over him and seemed to reach every part of his body. As if a thousand little needles were stabbing him everywhere. His body contorted, he didn't feel like he was in control anymore. All his muscles cramped into pain.

Then suddenly the stabbing pain was gone and he had control over his limbs again. Not that it improved the situation much as more pain registered in his brain. Pain in his back and shoulders, head pounding in several places. He was apparently on the ground now and it stung against his limbs. Cold seeping through his clothes making his cramped-up muscles stiff and unmovable. His mouth was dry. But when he tried to swallow it felt like someone was rubbing sandpaper in his throat.

"Who's the pathetic bitch now," the words were like venom spat at him.

"Crucio."

The pain returned and it didn't let up for a long time. He had no idea how long he lay there. Every muscle in his body was screaming in pain. It felt like his skin was slowly being stripped away from his flesh. Leaving him open and raw. He could feel his heart pounding in his head. Any moment his veins were going to burst. He was screaming, crying. But no begging. He refused to let those words pass his lips. Even now. Rather death than give in. At least all of this was finally done. Finally, peace.

Abruptly the pain stopped again. He had no idea why but he took the chance he had. Taking in deep gulps of air, his lungs burning with every intake he did. There was at least one thing clear. No matter what they already gone through, Severus truly hated him. After all, you had to actually mean it for a Cruciatus curse to work. He didn’t just want to hurt Remus, he clearly took great pleasure in it.

A sharp pain in his side made him cry out. It took him a while to realise what was happening. It only clicked when a weight pressed on his chest. Severus's boot. He was being kicked and trampled on.

"I should end your pathetic life and make a rug out of you. That way you at least serve a purpose."

The weight on his chest disappeared and he felt like he could breathe again. Not that it improved his situation much. His breaths came in short bursts, black spots darted across his field of view. He tried to swallow. He didn't succeed. It became harder and harder to control his own body. Most of it felt like it was on fire. His head felt ready to explode. He was probably drooling with how difficult it was to swallow.

"Th-eh fckn doit." he managed to mumble, unsure if it was articulated enough or loud enough.

"With pleasure. Sectumsempra!"

That was a spell he was familiar with. Of course, Snape would end his life that way.

He thought he knew the pain of knives after being hit by the Cruciatus curse. He was wrong. The feeling of a sword cutting him open over his torso was agonising. Like he could feel body being split open, the flesh peeling away. He trashed. He choked. Any movement he made increased the feeling of slowly being drained. Yet it was impossible to lie still. He attempted to raise his hands, wanting to... He wasn’t certain. Push the wound close? Ripping it further open so it was finally finished?

Then it stopped. He gasped, trying desperately to get air back in his body. Every breath hurt, lungs burning, throat raw. A few muscles were impossible to move, feeling like lead. Others were shaking, spasming. His chest felt numb, like there was nothing there. He was certain his eyes were open, but they saw nothing. His ears were supposed to work, though it was as if instead he could hear the blood rushing in his veins.

Was this what dying felt like?

Too bad it hurt so much. He had hoped that when he finally died, the pain would be gone. But it was still here. It was still all consuming.

The world was confusing. It almost felt like the pain was slowly pulled out of him. It was still there. It still burned hot, made his limps tingle and raw. But the edge, the worse of it was slowly taken away from him. As if someone had taken a needle and was ever so slowly sewing his chest back together.

He took in a deep breath and whimpered. He wasn't sure whether it was because he could finally actually breath again. Or if every single breath still hurt.

"Don't you dare fucking die on me now Lupin." He wasn't sure who said it. What did those words even mean? He was dying, wasn't he? The voice should just let him die.

"Come on you animal. I'm not letting you die before you've been useful."

"Oww" He tried to say. He didn't succeed. While he finally felt his tongue again, it was bleeding and swollen in his mouth. Not that he could feel that pain. Everything else hurt too much for it to stand out. At least his ears were working a little bit. Though every word felt like another hammer to the head. But they were working better than his eyes at the moment. They saw just black everywhere.

"The fuck is wrong with you Snape?!"

He flinched because of the loud sound, then cried out in pain because he flinched.

"We're better off without that filth."

"We're better off without you too if this is how you are going to act! What's next? You're going to poison our food? Murder us in our sleep?"

The voices were so loud and so painful. He barely registered what it was that they were yelling about. It was as if his brain tried to nudge him, but instead it only increased the painful pounding. Another wave of relief hit him. As if someone carefully took a layer of pain off of him. He tried and was finally able to swallow. The taste of iron stinging in his mouth.

"Lllly," he muttered, blood trickling out of his mouth as he attempted to say it. That had been what his brain was trying to tell him so badly. Lily. Why though? He wasn’t sure. It probably didn't matter.

"What did he say?"

"Lily. I think- for fucks sake Lupin stop moving. Merlin’s balls there is blood everywhere."

"I don't think he's in control of his body. The fuck did you do you pathetic son of a whore!?”

"Lily? Are you fucking serious? Are you still after that bitch Snape? We are trying to stop a war from happening and you can only think with your dick?"

"Guys! I need potions, now! I don't know if he's gonna make it-"

There were so many voices. All spoke so loudly and at once. It was impossible the follow. It was a complete sensory overload. Combined with the pain that kept on coming back, then disappearing again. It was so much to deal with.

He blinked a few times and was still unable to see anything. Would he ever see anything again? Maybe it was better if he didn't. Why was he still fighting? It wasn't as if anyone cared that he would be gone. No one would morn him. No one would weep for him. Maybe it was better. One less monster on this earth.

"Hurry the fuck up I'm losing him!" 

Whumptober 10 : Passing out from pain

Please, Please, Please

Pairing: Remus x Severus | WC: 2292 | Tags: Remus as Death eater, enemies with benefits, Marauders era, Hurt no comfort, angst, torture, ambiguous ending, Whumptober2024

TW: Torture, Graphic Depictions of Violence, Blood, Mentions/thoughts of death

Summary: After being continuously called a traitor by his friends and lover, Remus has enough and leaves. He does the one thing they accused him off; join the death eaters. Though with a bigger plan in mind; Destroy Voldemort from the inside. Turns out, he isn’t the only one with that plan.

Just as the group finally have a small victory the prophecy happens. Remus find out Severus has alternative motive. One that involves none other than Lily.

A/N: please! read the trigger warnings And if I missed one please correct me. (dear merlin I hope I got them all) I have a plan for this long, very dark fic. But I wanted to improve my writing first? To write darker, grittier themes? Well, here you go.

(You can also read this on AO3)

"And what did you expect would happen?" Remus yelled, being completely fed up. He so desperately wanted to help, wanted to prevent a wizarding war from happening. Trying to look after his former friends even though they made it clear they hated him. Was called a traitor when he’d done nothing wrong, yet. But also standing here. Having to deal with these death eaters that he'd formed an alliance with. Who, just like him, wanted Voldemort gone. At times it was so hard. All he wanted to do was just, give up. Flee the country. Start somewhere new. Forget all of this. "Did you actually expect this grand plan of yours to work? That he would kill James and Harry and what? Leave Lily for you? You can't honestly be that stupid."

"Shut up you filthy animal. You don't know what you're talking about," Severus shot back at him. They were standing barely a meter apart yet were yelling at the top of their lungs. Severus looked uncomposed and a bit mad, which was completely out of character. Hair tangled, clothes in disarray, face red. The sneer was a familiar one.

"I do know what I'm talking about. After all they just dropped my ass like I was nothing. Almost a decade of being a tight nit group just thrown in the trash without a second of hesitation! And you think she will forgive you? Accept you? You honestly think Lily will love you at all?" 

Every word he said was meant to hurt. He'd always felt like there was more to Severus plan. He'd always seemed like the person who wanted to fit in, climb the social ladder, get the power, hate on muggles. So why would he join the group to take Voldemort down? For a while Remus had been certain that he was a double spy, ready to take their group out. But the realisation that it was this crush, this obsession with Lily. That was an unexpected turn. Or maybe he was blindsided by this because they’d been fucking. Getting rid of all that build up tension. The sudden reveal of a lifelong love for Lily combined with how he was talking about her. It made him ill.

"That is because you are nothing. You cumulate to nothing. You're a passable wizard. A disgusting, uncontrollable animal. A leech of a friend. Desperate to fuck anything that walks. You have no redeemable qualities," Severus hissed. Every word stabbed him like a knife, then it was twisted before it was pulled out. Only to repeat it over and over again. It wasn't like he hadn't told himself all of those things over and over again. Apparently it wasn’t low self-esteem. It was common knowledge. And it stung.

His hands balled into fists, shaking slightly with the pure rage that was building in him. This wasn't even about him! This was about Severus and his insane plan. He stepped closer and grabbed the front of Severus clothes, yanking him closer.

"Finally doing some self-reflection?" he said, voice shaking with anger. Anger that always laid so close to the surface now a days. Just waiting, ready to pounce. And if Severus was handing himself on a plate, he would gladly take it. "Hi Lily, remember me? The one who called you names and dropped you for people who hate you and your kind with every fibre of your being? All so I could finally feel a tiny bit of power?"

"You only felt powerful because you could hide behind Black and Potter."

"As if you weren't hiding behind Malfoy and Mulciber. As if you weren't just as big of a bitch as I was."

It was quiet for a moment but he knew a storm was brewing. Those black eyes were on fire. They were roaming his face, probably looking for the best place to attack.

"Lily will forgive me for all of that. The manipulated, sad, lonely boy. Black on the other hand will always think of you as trash that he's glad to be rid of."

And wasn't that the truth. He was pretty certain Sirius would never forgive him. Lily, James, Peter. They would all understand his motives, they understood the grey area. But Sirius worked in black and white. He had turned to the death eaters. No matter what his reasoning was, he would never be forgiven. He'd known that. Realised it pretty early on. After all, he loved that man and knew him almost better than himself. If he went along with his plan, Sirius would still hate him. But at least there was a world where he could be hated in. He'd given up his love to ensure there was a future. He didn't believe even for a second that was true for Severus. The man was too selfish for that.

"You think she will? Really?" he whispered softly, grinning at Severus. He knew he probably looked insane, but he wasn't letting this slide. He wouldn't accept the death of James and Harry just so Severus could have his wicked fantasy. "Hi Lily. Heard you're single again. Sorry about the death of your husband and child, whom you loved dearly. Yes, I could've saved them. But I couldn't let them get in my way of having you. You’re mine after all. Now be a good girl an-"

He was roughly shoved backwards, stumbling for a second before he found his footing again.

"Ah what's wrong Severus? I think she'll be begging on her knees for you to take her back!?"

"Shut up you disgusting beast!"

"Oh Severus! I was so wrong! Of course I don't want the nice, good looking, family man! I don't know what came over me!" He pitched his voice, pouted and purposely acted horribly. Hands clasped together on his chest and blinking rapidly. Lily would never sound or act like that. But anything to get under Severus's skin. To make him see how insane his plan was.

"You're my hero Sev! You saved me from a comfortable life with a loving family!"

"CRUCIO!"

There was no way to dodge or avoid being hit by the spell. The red light flashed and hit him square in the chest. Pain rushed over him and seemed to reach every part of his body. As if a thousand little needles were stabbing him everywhere. His body contorted, he didn't feel like he was in control anymore. All his muscles cramped into pain.

Then suddenly the stabbing pain was gone and he had control over his limbs again. Not that it improved the situation much as more pain registered in his brain. Pain in his back and shoulders, head pounding in several places. He was apparently on the ground now and it stung against his limbs. Cold seeping through his clothes making his cramped-up muscles stiff and unmovable. His mouth was dry. But when he tried to swallow it felt like someone was rubbing sandpaper in his throat.

"Who's the pathetic bitch now," the words were like venom spat at him.

"Crucio."

The pain returned and it didn't let up for a long time. He had no idea how long he lay there. Every muscle in his body was screaming in pain. It felt like his skin was slowly being stripped away from his flesh. Leaving him open and raw. He could feel his heart pounding in his head. Any moment his veins were going to burst. He was screaming, crying. But no begging. He refused to let those words pass his lips. Even now. Rather death than give in. At least all of this was finally done. Finally, peace.

Abruptly the pain stopped again. He had no idea why but he took the chance he had. Taking in deep gulps of air, his lungs burning with every intake he did. There was at least one thing clear. No matter what they already gone through, Severus truly hated him. After all, you had to actually mean it for a Cruciatus curse to work. He didn’t just want to hurt Remus, he clearly took great pleasure in it.

A sharp pain in his side made him cry out. It took him a while to realise what was happening. It only clicked when a weight pressed on his chest. Severus's boot. He was being kicked and trampled on.

"I should end your pathetic life and make a rug out of you. That way you at least serve a purpose."

The weight on his chest disappeared and he felt like he could breathe again. Not that it improved his situation much. His breaths came in short bursts, black spots darted across his field of view. He tried to swallow. He didn't succeed. It became harder and harder to control his own body. Most of it felt like it was on fire. His head felt ready to explode. He was probably drooling with how difficult it was to swallow.

"Th-eh fckn doit." he managed to mumble, unsure if it was articulated enough or loud enough.

"With pleasure. Sectumsempra!"

That was a spell he was familiar with. Of course, Snape would end his life that way.

He thought he knew the pain of knives after being hit by the Cruciatus curse. He was wrong. The feeling of a sword cutting him open over his torso was agonising. Like he could feel body being split open, the flesh peeling away. He trashed. He choked. Any movement he made increased the feeling of slowly being drained. Yet it was impossible to lie still. He attempted to raise his hands, wanting to... He wasn’t certain. Push the wound close? Ripping it further open so it was finally finished?

Then it stopped. He gasped, trying desperately to get air back in his body. Every breath hurt, lungs burning, throat raw. A few muscles were impossible to move, feeling like lead. Others were shaking, spasming. His chest felt numb, like there was nothing there. He was certain his eyes were open, but they saw nothing. His ears were supposed to work, though it was as if instead he could hear the blood rushing in his veins.

Was this what dying felt like?

Too bad it hurt so much. He had hoped that when he finally died, the pain would be gone. But it was still here. It was still all consuming.

The world was confusing. It almost felt like the pain was slowly pulled out of him. It was still there. It still burned hot, made his limps tingle and raw. But the edge, the worse of it was slowly taken away from him. As if someone had taken a needle and was ever so slowly sewing his chest back together.

He took in a deep breath and whimpered. He wasn't sure whether it was because he could finally actually breath again. Or if every single breath still hurt.

"Don't you dare fucking die on me now Lupin." He wasn't sure who said it. What did those words even mean? He was dying, wasn't he? The voice should just let him die.

"Come on you animal. I'm not letting you die before you've been useful."

"Oww" He tried to say. He didn't succeed. While he finally felt his tongue again, it was bleeding and swollen in his mouth. Not that he could feel that pain. Everything else hurt too much for it to stand out. At least his ears were working a little bit. Though every word felt like another hammer to the head. But they were working better than his eyes at the moment. They saw just black everywhere.

"The fuck is wrong with you Snape?!"

He flinched because of the loud sound, then cried out in pain because he flinched.

"We're better off without that filth."

"We're better off without you too if this is how you are going to act! What's next? You're going to poison our food? Murder us in our sleep?"

The voices were so loud and so painful. He barely registered what it was that they were yelling about. It was as if his brain tried to nudge him, but instead it only increased the painful pounding. Another wave of relief hit him. As if someone carefully took a layer of pain off of him. He tried and was finally able to swallow. The taste of iron stinging in his mouth.

"Lllly," he muttered, blood trickling out of his mouth as he attempted to say it. That had been what his brain was trying to tell him so badly. Lily. Why though? He wasn’t sure. It probably didn't matter.

"What did he say?"

"Lily. I think- for fucks sake Lupin stop moving. Merlin’s balls there is blood everywhere."

"I don't think he's in control of his body. The fuck did you do you pathetic son of a whore!?”

"Lily? Are you fucking serious? Are you still after that bitch Snape? We are trying to stop a war from happening and you can only think with your dick?"

"Guys! I need potions, now! I don't know if he's gonna make it-"

There were so many voices. All spoke so loudly and at once. It was impossible the follow. It was a complete sensory overload. Combined with the pain that kept on coming back, then disappearing again. It was so much to deal with.

He blinked a few times and was still unable to see anything. Would he ever see anything again? Maybe it was better if he didn't. Why was he still fighting? It wasn't as if anyone cared that he would be gone. No one would morn him. No one would weep for him. Maybe it was better. One less monster on this earth.

"Hurry the fuck up I'm losing him!" 

Skobelev in the Battle of Shipka (1883) by Vasili Vereshchagin. Tretyakov Gallery.