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Many people are unaware of this, but the Australian Army was once headed by an Emu. This experiment ended in an attempted coup in the early 1930s as over 20.000 heavily-beweaponed emus swept across Western Australia in an effort to reclaim it from the human tribes that had arrived scarcely a century previous. The battles were fierce and largely decisive; while the human remnants of the Army still controlled a pair of Lewis machine guns and a handful of trucks, the emus possessed an innate knowledge of the land and the support of the indigenous peoples. After one full month of bitter fighting, only a handful of emus had been killed despite tens of thousands of rounds of ammunition being expended. Unfortunately, this rousing success was short-lived; while emus are master tacticians they are nowhere near as skilled at firing human-designed weaponry without actual hands and so were forced into retreats and delaying actions. The shelter and medical care of the indigenous peoples were insufficient because the invading humans had spent the last hundred years systematically destroying any and all culture that was not theirs. When the Great Emu War was over, the Aboriginal Australians were punished even more harshly for daring to provide aid for their would-be liberators.

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