Gun X Tin - Tumblr Posts

Chapter 3: Inevitable

Tinn has started his residency in one of the main hospitals in Bangkok. It’s been weeks since he arrived in Thailand. All this time, he has successfully avoided anything related to his… ex. 

Agh, he needed to get used to calling him that. It’s been two years already.

At the hospital, everything is chaotic at times, enough to keep him constantly distracted. The only break he gets is around lunchtime, and sometimes not even that. Today he has managed to get a small gap in the afternoon and is using it to have lunch with his colleague and friend.

“So, you haven’t seen your ex after that first encounter?” his friend asks. Tinn stops eating midway. 

There goes his peace of mind and meal.

“No, I haven’t,” he answers quick and short, hoping this will encourage his friend to drop the topic. 

“And are you okay with that?” he continues. 

“Completely fine,” He lies. Well, he’s trying to be fine. 

They eat in silence for a moment, and when the older one speaks again is about something different, thank god.

“There’s this new bar in the center. Would you like to go once we’re done with the shift?” 

Tinn’s about to answer when a nurse approaches them. They’re on the emergency shift this week, so the sudden approach of the nurse is alarming. 

“Doctors! There has been a car crash, with multiple injured. They need help at the main emergency room.” the nurse explain, agitated. 

Tinn and company wrap up their half-eaten food and put it back in their place in the cafeteria and hurry to the emergency room. When they arrive there, there’s chaos surrounding the place. Doctors and nurses run around with patients on stretchers. Used to the chaos, both doctors take action, taking care even of two patients at once. 

It’s been almost fifteen minutes, when a new round of patients arrives. 

“P’Mai, take care of the patients at the end of the hall. I’ll take care of the new ones!” Tinn says in a hurry. He’s about to go to the entrance when the other stops him, grabbing him by the forearm.

“You go take care of them. I’ll handle the new ones,” commands the older doctor. 

Mai is just two years older than Tinn, but in situations like this one, he looks even older and more experienced, which in fact, he is. So Tinn doesn’t object and does what his friend says. After a quick nod, he walks to the end of the aisle.

That sector of the emergency room is quieter than the entrance sector, where the most seriously ill patients are crowded. When the curtain is drawn, he is greeted by the figure of a young man being examined by a nurse. 

“What is the situation here?” Tinn asks with a professional tone. Then the nurse moves aside, and he can see the young man a bit better, even when the majority of the boy’s face is covered by his arm that lays on top of his head. 

“It is a minor injury, doctor. He hit his head in the impact of the accident. He does not appear to have a severe concussion, but a CT scan was ordered anyway. We are waiting for the local anesthetic to take effect to suture the wound that caused the blow.” the nurse explains, handling the patient file to Tinn. 

“Good. I’ll do the suture. Go check if someone is available in radiology, please. So we can do the CT scan as soon as the suture is done.” Tinn asks in the same professional tone. 

“Yes, doctor, right now.” the nurse says before rushing out of the small stall.

Putting the patient’s information aside, Tinn gets closer to the bed, where the boy is still resting with his arm covering his face. Tinn clears his throat and is about to reach the patient’s arm to pull it away when the boy does it by himself and…

You gotta be fucking kidding…

What are the chances that one of the injured persons from an accident that happened on your emergency shift on a regular Friday turns out to be the person you’re eagerly avoiding?

Low, very low, and still…

The person lying on the bed in front of Tinn is not other than his… ex. 

Gun looks extremely shocked to see Tinn there in front of him. 

Well, that makes two of us, Tinn thinks.

“Let me check the injury,” Tinn manages to say after clearing his throat and mind. 

Gun does not reply, apparently unable to do so. He doesn’t move, either. The only signal that he’s still paying attention to Tinn is his eyes that stare deep at the doctor’s face. Aware of his every movement. 

When Tinn places his hands on both sides of Gun’s head, the latter jolts a bit startled. 

“It’s alright. I just want to check the wound.” Tinn clarifies in a soothing tone, to which Gun just nods, still silent. 

There’s not much more Gun can do, honestly. At first, he thought he was dreaming again, but the doctor’s voice was too real and familiar to be a dream, and when he uncovered his eyes, he was faced yet again with him. At that moment, he was almost convinced that the blow to his head had him hallucinating. 

It was slowly becoming a constant, a dirty trick of fate or whatever. Them meeting like this in the most unexpected circumstances. Just like they did a few weeks ago at the apartment, the memory is still fresh in Gun’s memory. 

“Were you there?” Tinn asks suddenly, taking Gun away from his memories. 

What was he exactly referring to? 

“At the car crash,” Tinn clarifies, answering Gun’s silent question. 

Oh, right. The car crash. Gun remembers but is still unable to formulate an answer. 

Tinn looks at him worried at the lack of answers. 

“Are you feeling dizzy?” he asks, and Gun shakes his head slightly. “Nausious or out of balance?” he asks again. Gun takes a moment to think the answer. He wasn’t feeling any of those symptoms, so he shakes his head again. 

Tinn finishes inspecting his injured head and proceeds to check on his vitals. When he’s done with that too, he starts preparing everything to do the suture. 

“It appears that the contusion is not too serious, but you seem to be experiencing some confusion and disorientation, which is normal in these cases. We'll make sure everything is alright when the head scan is done. The local anesthesia has already taken effect, so I will proceed with the suture.” he announces with that soothing tone of his. 

The injury on Gun’s head is not deep but a bit long, less than seven centimeters. It has stopped bleeding, so it's ready to work on it. It’s placed on top of his left eyebrow going up to the beginning of his scalp, hidden most of it by his hair. It won’t need that many stitches and hopefully will heal without leaving a notorious scar.

“I’m gonna start now,” Tinn announces, starling Gun, who had had his eyes close till that moment. Their eyes meet, and when Tinn gets closer to Gun, the latter grabs the doctor by the sides of his gown. Tinn doesn’t complain and allows Gun to hold on to it. 

The first stitches are the more troublesome. It does not hurt, but it’s uncomfortable. Tinn knows it perfectly, so he doesn't even flinch when Gun clings tighter to his gown, inching closer to him unconsciously. Tinn just continues stitching him up in silence, regardless of Gun clinging to his gown, more and more.

“It’s alright. I’m almost done with the first half,” Tinn says calmly after a while of working on the wound. To that, Gun shuts his eyes open and loses himself in the concentrated expression on the doctor’s handsome face. 

It seems unbelievable to him to have the privilege of witnessing that expression so close once again. His hands itch with the urge to ease Tinn's furrowed brows, just like he used to do it before. He reminds himself he doesn’t have the right to do that anymore. And from his mouth escapes a sigh of frustration. 

“Does it hurt too much? Do you want me to apply more anesthesia?” Tinn asks, stopping his work for a moment.  

Gun shakes his head slightly and finally finds his voice again. “It’s okay. It doesn’t hurt,” he says, surprising Tinn, who lets out an amusing sound. 

“You’re talking again. That's good,” he says joking but looking relieved. “Are you feeling less disoriented?” he asks, resuming his work on the stitches. Gun just nods. And Tinn remains silent, busy stitching him up again. “So, how did it happen? I mean, the crash car.” He asks, being specific this time. 

“I don’t know. Our car was hit in the rear, and then there was too much chaos.” Gun explains still a bit confused about everything that happened. Tinn nods before asking again. 

“How did you get here? Are you by yourself?” Tinn asks doing the last stitches. Gun shakes his head slightly. 

“They’re outside. The nurses didn’t let them in” he explains, and Tinn just nods. 

Makes sense. When the emergency room is so full like today, they don’t let patients have any company. Tinn cuts the thread and withdraws to the table with the medical utensils. When he returns to the bedside he has a gauze in his hands. 

“I’m gonna cover it now,” he lets him know, with his voice ever so calm. 

It’s so relaxing, listen to him explain every part of the procedure, it’s extremely calming. Gun thinks.

And then Tinn is covering the injury with the gauze, his touch as soft as always. Gun is enjoying way too much of his careful touch.

But too soon to his liking. Tinn’s hands stop touching him. And they’re faced with each other again. Silence surrounds them but it’s not awkward. 

“You’re all set up,” Tinn says taking off the gloves of his hands and setting all the instruments on the small table. “The nurse will explain how to take care of the wound. Try not to make any activity that would cause the stitches to open. You have to come back in two weeks to remove them. And don’t leave without doing the head scan.” Tinn instructs in his most professional tone. 

“Thank you…” Gun says in a small voice. Looking at Tinn with a lingering look, as if he wanted to say more but wouldn’t dare to do so. 

“Not problem,” Tinn says avoiding eye contact all of a sudden. It doesn’t go unnoticed to Gun how Tinn busied himself fixing the instruments on the table that don't need to be fixed. When Gun feels Tinn is about to leave he calls him, without stopping a second to think what he really wants to say. 

“I…” he tries, clears his throat, and continues. “I wanted to apologize about the other day…” he says and when Tinn finally looks at him confused, he clarifies. “At the apartment.”

Tinn once again averts his eyes, focusing on the instrument's table again. 

“I know it must’ve been shocking. I didn’t mean to… I didn’t know you were back and...” Gun knows he is babbling but he needs to let it out so he finishes “I’m sorry.”

Tinn takes a big breath of fresh air before saying. “It’s alright. Don’t worry about it. Tiw explained everything. It was just a big confusion.”  

Gun nods, not so sure of what exactly has Tiw explained. But when he’s about to add something, someone joins them on the stall. The nurse is back and with her is another doctor a bit older than Tinn. 

“Tinn, are you done here?” the man asks, Tinn looks in his direction and mutters something just for the two of them. And Gun can't help but notice the softened tone of voice in which the other man speaks to Tinn, and the concern in his eyes when Tinn answers him. Nor does the lack of honorifics that is a clear reflection of their closeness go unnoticed.

“Everything is ready to do the CT scan, Doctor.” The nurse points out, but Gun is more interested in the interaction Tinn’s having with the other doctor. When he’s done talking to the other, Tinn turns to the nurse.

“Please take him there after explaining how to treat his wound.” He asks the nurse. And with a last look towards Gun, he’s about to leave, but Gun stops him from doing it. 

“Tinn,” Gun calls before stopping to think about what he wants to say, again. He just wants to have Tinn’s attention on him for the last time. “It’s good to know that you’re back.” Gun finally says, “Thank you again,” he adds, with a broken little smile and a knot in the back of his throat. 

He does notice the intrigued expressions on both the other doctor and the nurse when they listen to the familiarity with which he just called Tinn’s name. But it doesn’t matter because Tinn’s eyes are again on him. 

They share a moment, staring deep into each other’s eyes. And Gun can’t help but feel thrilled about this small last interaction. 

“It’s good to be back,” Tinn says after another moment of intense silence. “Take care of yourself,” he adds and then leaves along with his colleague with whom Gun shares one last look full of intrigue.

~

“How do you know him?” his friend asks when they’re on their way back to the cafeteria. The situation at the emergency room was under control at least for the moment.

Tinn is still feeling a bit weirded out by the previous interaction he just had with his… ex. When he realizes the implication of the question asked. 

“How do I—” he’s about to repeat but asks instead “Do you know him?” at his friend's instant nod, Tinn can’t help but be surprised. “How do you know him?”

“His band it’s pretty famous in the region,” the older one explains as if Tinn wasn’t well aware of that. 

He has known Mai for almost three years now. They had a few classes together but ironically they haven’t get really close to each other until they went together to study abroad. He knows about Tinn’s ex, the breakup, and everything that came after that but he doesn’t know who Tinn’s ex is. And Tinn plans to keep it that way. 

“We went to high school together,” Tinn explains briefly. Technically it was not a lie but to say that Gun and him had been just high school classmates was an understatement. 

Mai just nods to his explanation but looks at him as if he wasn't sure that was all there was to it.

Oh if he only knew. Tinn thinks.

“So, are you up for going out tomorrow? After this hell of a shift, I really need to have some fun” he says changing the topic again. And Tinn can’t be more relieved. 

They agree about going out and they talk about it for a few more minutes until they spot Gun getting out of the emergency room. Tinn crosses eyes with him and neither of them realizes of their surroundings anymore. The eye contact is broken when Gun is approached by a young girl that greets him enthusiastically. Tinn watches them interact and they look very close to each other. 

He wonders if…?

“That’s his rumored girlfriend, so I heard,” his friend provide him with the answer to his silent question. 

Tinn nods and turns his back on the supposed couple, his friend pats him on the back before hugging him by the shoulders, and both of them return to the cafeteria to finish their meals, without noticing the curious look of a certain singer who can't take his eyes off them. 

Wondering the exact same thing Tinn didn’t dare to ask.

***

The next day Tinn’s waiting for his friend to arrive at the agreed bar. Their last shift has been intense and exhausting, so going out feels like a deserved treat. The place is nice, already full of people despite being early. Apparently, the people there are enthusiastically waiting for a famous band to do their appearance. Tinn is too freshly returned to the country to know anything about this band, so he distracts himself on his phone while he waits for his friend.

After almost an hour waiting Tinn is too immersed in the article he’s reading on his phone to notice the next two things that happen: First, the band has already arrived at the bar and was preparing to start their performances at any minute. Second, his friend has arrived too. And if Tinn weren’t too focused on greeting him he probably would’ve noticed the eyes of the lead singer of said band fixed on him. 

The pair of doctors spend the next hour talking and drinking nonstop. 

“I’m telling you, friend. It’s not good to hold on to the past, you should always look forward to the future!” Mai says, a bit too excited. 

“Ugh, Phi… That’s easier said than done.” Tinn complains with frustration. “Sometimes the past is too good to let it go.” Tinn continues with his eyes lost in the empty space in front of him, lost in his memories. 

The band is now resuming their performance after half an hour break and in the atmosphere you can hear the first notes of a Silly Fools song Tinn knows perfectly well. The slightly different version does not fail to evoke memories Tinn has long ago stopped trying to forget. He sees himself at seventeen drawing a silly doodle of the boy who at that time was just his crush. If he closes his eyes for long enough he can see the Chinzilla band performing the folklore cover of the song at the temple contest, as the music progresses he feels his smiles grow progressively just like it did back then when he was too happy to see his crush perform the vibrant song. Back then he was fighting the urge to get up and dance to the song and now that he can freely dance to it, he’s too heartbroken to do it.

“Some memories are too precious to forget…” Tinn adds with a wistful smile, still lost in his memories. 

Some smiles are too beautiful to forget. Eyes that shone so bright he felt warmth spread inside his chest every time he stared at them, like flowers blooming first thing in the morning, that's how he felt every morning he woke up at his side, all wrapped up in his arms. Lips so sweet he became addicted to them. A voice so soft he still listens to it in his dreams... 

“I’ve never been good at moving on. I'm not the type of person who can let go easily, I guess” Tinn says, half-jokingly half frustrated.

His friend shakes his head with a pity look on his face. And they continue talking and drinking nonstop. 

~

“Hey, Gun” Sounds calls his attention before they resume their performance. Sound is the only one of his high school friends that keeps being part of his band. Both have pursued music and when they were in college they decided to form a band together again, so now they were closer than they were in high school. Gun moves closer to his friend to listen to him better over the noise of the bar. “Did you see who’s there at the corner?” he asks pointing to the said place with his mouth since his hands were busy holding his guitar. 

Gun follows the direction his friend points out and his eyes find him. Of course, he had already noticed him. He had noticed his presence since the first moment he had arrived at the bar. It was as if his senses were always alert to his presence, or maybe he was just always trying to find him everywhere he goes.

“I did notice,” Gun says, with his eyes still focused on that corner of the bar. 

“Life is indeed playing tricks with you two, huh? You keep meeting each other all the time” Sounds says with a chuckle to which Gun just tries to smile it off, but he knows he has failed when his friend pats him on the back in an attempt to comfort him. 

“Hmm, I guess this city is not big enough for the both of us” Gun says with a sigh. 

“Do you want to postpone the performance?” Sounds aks, surprising Gun. He has been very insistent on performing at the bar today.

“It’s alright. We’ve been postponing this for long enough. Let’s continue. I don’t think he’ll even notice. He is quite entertained.” Gun says, referring to Tinn’s company. He recognizes the older man as Tinn's colleague from the hospital. And he can’t help but wonder again, were they…? 

He stops himself from asking and guessing further. And focus instead on the band performance that was starting already.

~

Gun’s anxious. The band has stopped its performance to have half an hour break and now he was with his bandmates at the bar, they were given free drinks as a courtesy but Gun’s drink remains untouched on the counter. Almost one hour and a half later and he’s still staring at a certain corner of the bar. Sounds notices, of course, he notices.

“Can you relax?” He asks standing next to him at the bar. 

“They’re drinking nonstop,” Guns points out. “I’m just worried they end up kiss—" he interrupts himself and shaking his head continues, "I mean, falling and hitting themselves or something,” he finishes and turns to look to another place a bit embarrassed. Sound looks at him and shakes his head. 

“They’re not—” Sound interrupts what he’s saying and says instead “Oh, one of them is leaving” Sound hasn’t finished talking when Gun was spinning around looking back to the same spot. 

A sigh of relief leaves Gun's lips as he sees Tinn’s friend be the one who’s leaving. 

“Not so fast. I think Tinn is going with him,” Sound adds, making Gun tense. They follow Tinn's staggering walk with their eyes and realize he is going in the opposite direction of his friend. “Never mind, I think he’s going to the restroom.” 

Another sigh of relief leaves Gun, until he remembers how messy the men's restroom can get, he had witnessed the occasional scandal caused by customers who had drunk too much. And all of them somehow started or finished in the restroom. 

Worried all over again he turns to face Sound with a silent plea in his eyes.

“Would you—?” he’s asking but his friend cut him off right away.

“I swear… You owe me this one” he complains at the same time he’s moving towards the restroom. 

Minutes pass by, and Gun is getting increasingly anxious, one of his legs has started moving up and down nonstop in a nervous tic he’s never been able to control. Until he finally spots Sound with Tinn holding onto his shoulders, leaning half of his body weight on him. They seem to be talking but Sound doesn’t look very pleased to be there holding Tinn and having whatever conversation they were having. 

Gun meets eyes with his friend and the order is clear in the other’s eyes “Come here and get me out of this” is what he reads in his friend’s eyes and Gun messes his hair out of frustration. 

“Damn it...” he grunts before leaving his place on the bar. Knowing well he will regret what he’s about to do, but not having other options. 

He is not very excited about what is going to happen next, but there is nothing he can do to avoid it or he'll feel worse.

***

The next morning Tinn wakes up being a completely regretful mess. His head feels painfully heavy and like it’s about to explode at any moment. He swears he will never drink like that again and try getting up but regrets it instantly. Remaining in bed seems like the best thing to do at this moment. So, taking advantage of his position laying down on the bed he closes his eyes and tries to remember the previous night. 

How did he even get to his apartment? Wait… his apartment? Why was he even here? 

He forces himself to try to remember but not much comes to his mind. He remembers talking to his friend and started drinking a lot, then he remembers the song that the band had played and the memories It evoked, and remembers drinking even more because of that. Then his friend had to leave, and he went to the restroom, and then Sound was there… 

Wait… Why was Sound there? 

And right after meeting Sound, he doesn’t remember anything more. Did Sound take him to the apartment? How did he even open the door? Tinn was not carrying the key with him when he left for the bar. 

He’s so confused that when he gets a sudden flashback it throws him off completely. 

“Why are you here? You’re not supposed to be out there drinking. You can’t drink, you had a contusion less than 24 hours ago…”

“I’m not exactly the one who’s been drinking, Dr. Tinnaphob…” Gun had said with a stoic expression. And then Tinn feels he’s being thrown into the other’s arms, probably by Sound who doesn't stand having to support his weight anymore. “Let’s get you home,” Gun had added in soft whisper, holding Tinn by the waist. 

And after that Tinn is completely blank again.

Letting out a frustrated yells he gets up and sits on the bed. He starts looking around as if he will find some sort of clue that Gun has been there. And he finds it. It’s on the nightside table at his right. A folded piece of paper with his name on it.

You pass out last night. Didn’t know where else to take you so I brought you to the apartment. I apologize in advance if that was intrusive and I also apologize for our first encounter, again. I leave with you the apartment's keys so an incident like that one will never happen again. Sorry, and please take care of yourself.  —Gun. P.S. There’s some Pad Kee Mao with Rice Congee on the fridge for the hangover. 

Tinn reads the note multiple times and can’t stop the butterflies he feels in his belly. It has been so long since he has been taken care of, and the person doing it right now was no other than his… ex. 

He tries to convince himself that the sudden turn of his stomach is due to the hunger he feels and not to anything else. But deep down he knows is probably for both things, hunger and feelings. Feelings he was not going to focus on first thing in the morning. 

With renewed energy, he gets out of bed and goes straight to the kitchen. The mentioned food is indeed in the fridge and this time his stomach growl with satisfaction. He was truly hungry after all. He puts the food in the microwave to warm it up and goes to the bathroom before sitting down to eat. When he enters the bedroom again he spots the keys of the apartment Gun mentioned in the note, he grabs said keys and stares at them for long minutes. 

Was this finally the closing chapter of their story together? Was he trying to tell him he was ready to move on or even worse, that he already moved on? Was the sinking feeling in his chest a warning he should not ignore?

Probably, but he was not ready to answer any of those questions, so he saves the keys in the nightstand drawer and hurries toward the bathroom. Deciding that for the time being he would just concentrate on feeding his empty stomach, feelings might hit him afterward when he's fed and strong enough to face them.

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