Chapter 3: Inevitable

Chapter 3: Inevitable

Tinn has started his residency in one of the main hospitals in Bangkok. It’s been weeks since he arrived in Thailand. All this time, he has successfully avoided anything related to his… ex. 

Agh, he needed to get used to calling him that. It’s been two years already.

At the hospital, everything is chaotic at times, enough to keep him constantly distracted. The only break he gets is around lunchtime, and sometimes not even that. Today he has managed to get a small gap in the afternoon and is using it to have lunch with his colleague and friend.

“So, you haven’t seen your ex after that first encounter?” his friend asks. Tinn stops eating midway. 

There goes his peace of mind and meal.

“No, I haven’t,” he answers quick and short, hoping this will encourage his friend to drop the topic. 

“And are you okay with that?” he continues. 

“Completely fine,” He lies. Well, he’s trying to be fine. 

They eat in silence for a moment, and when the older one speaks again is about something different, thank god.

“There’s this new bar in the center. Would you like to go once we’re done with the shift?” 

Tinn’s about to answer when a nurse approaches them. They’re on the emergency shift this week, so the sudden approach of the nurse is alarming. 

“Doctors! There has been a car crash, with multiple injured. They need help at the main emergency room.” the nurse explain, agitated. 

Tinn and company wrap up their half-eaten food and put it back in their place in the cafeteria and hurry to the emergency room. When they arrive there, there’s chaos surrounding the place. Doctors and nurses run around with patients on stretchers. Used to the chaos, both doctors take action, taking care even of two patients at once. 

It’s been almost fifteen minutes, when a new round of patients arrives. 

“P’Mai, take care of the patients at the end of the hall. I’ll take care of the new ones!” Tinn says in a hurry. He’s about to go to the entrance when the other stops him, grabbing him by the forearm.

“You go take care of them. I’ll handle the new ones,” commands the older doctor. 

Mai is just two years older than Tinn, but in situations like this one, he looks even older and more experienced, which in fact, he is. So Tinn doesn’t object and does what his friend says. After a quick nod, he walks to the end of the aisle.

That sector of the emergency room is quieter than the entrance sector, where the most seriously ill patients are crowded. When the curtain is drawn, he is greeted by the figure of a young man being examined by a nurse. 

“What is the situation here?” Tinn asks with a professional tone. Then the nurse moves aside, and he can see the young man a bit better, even when the majority of the boy’s face is covered by his arm that lays on top of his head. 

“It is a minor injury, doctor. He hit his head in the impact of the accident. He does not appear to have a severe concussion, but a CT scan was ordered anyway. We are waiting for the local anesthetic to take effect to suture the wound that caused the blow.” the nurse explains, handling the patient file to Tinn. 

“Good. I’ll do the suture. Go check if someone is available in radiology, please. So we can do the CT scan as soon as the suture is done.” Tinn asks in the same professional tone. 

“Yes, doctor, right now.” the nurse says before rushing out of the small stall.

Putting the patient’s information aside, Tinn gets closer to the bed, where the boy is still resting with his arm covering his face. Tinn clears his throat and is about to reach the patient’s arm to pull it away when the boy does it by himself and…

You gotta be fucking kidding…

What are the chances that one of the injured persons from an accident that happened on your emergency shift on a regular Friday turns out to be the person you’re eagerly avoiding?

Low, very low, and still…

The person lying on the bed in front of Tinn is not other than his… ex. 

Gun looks extremely shocked to see Tinn there in front of him. 

Well, that makes two of us, Tinn thinks.

“Let me check the injury,” Tinn manages to say after clearing his throat and mind. 

Gun does not reply, apparently unable to do so. He doesn’t move, either. The only signal that he’s still paying attention to Tinn is his eyes that stare deep at the doctor’s face. Aware of his every movement. 

When Tinn places his hands on both sides of Gun’s head, the latter jolts a bit startled. 

“It’s alright. I just want to check the wound.” Tinn clarifies in a soothing tone, to which Gun just nods, still silent. 

There’s not much more Gun can do, honestly. At first, he thought he was dreaming again, but the doctor’s voice was too real and familiar to be a dream, and when he uncovered his eyes, he was faced yet again with him. At that moment, he was almost convinced that the blow to his head had him hallucinating. 

It was slowly becoming a constant, a dirty trick of fate or whatever. Them meeting like this in the most unexpected circumstances. Just like they did a few weeks ago at the apartment, the memory is still fresh in Gun’s memory. 

“Were you there?” Tinn asks suddenly, taking Gun away from his memories. 

What was he exactly referring to? 

“At the car crash,” Tinn clarifies, answering Gun’s silent question. 

Oh, right. The car crash. Gun remembers but is still unable to formulate an answer. 

Tinn looks at him worried at the lack of answers. 

“Are you feeling dizzy?” he asks, and Gun shakes his head slightly. “Nausious or out of balance?” he asks again. Gun takes a moment to think the answer. He wasn’t feeling any of those symptoms, so he shakes his head again. 

Tinn finishes inspecting his injured head and proceeds to check on his vitals. When he’s done with that too, he starts preparing everything to do the suture. 

“It appears that the contusion is not too serious, but you seem to be experiencing some confusion and disorientation, which is normal in these cases. We'll make sure everything is alright when the head scan is done. The local anesthesia has already taken effect, so I will proceed with the suture.” he announces with that soothing tone of his. 

The injury on Gun’s head is not deep but a bit long, less than seven centimeters. It has stopped bleeding, so it's ready to work on it. It’s placed on top of his left eyebrow going up to the beginning of his scalp, hidden most of it by his hair. It won’t need that many stitches and hopefully will heal without leaving a notorious scar.

“I’m gonna start now,” Tinn announces, starling Gun, who had had his eyes close till that moment. Their eyes meet, and when Tinn gets closer to Gun, the latter grabs the doctor by the sides of his gown. Tinn doesn’t complain and allows Gun to hold on to it. 

The first stitches are the more troublesome. It does not hurt, but it’s uncomfortable. Tinn knows it perfectly, so he doesn't even flinch when Gun clings tighter to his gown, inching closer to him unconsciously. Tinn just continues stitching him up in silence, regardless of Gun clinging to his gown, more and more.

“It’s alright. I’m almost done with the first half,” Tinn says calmly after a while of working on the wound. To that, Gun shuts his eyes open and loses himself in the concentrated expression on the doctor’s handsome face. 

It seems unbelievable to him to have the privilege of witnessing that expression so close once again. His hands itch with the urge to ease Tinn's furrowed brows, just like he used to do it before. He reminds himself he doesn’t have the right to do that anymore. And from his mouth escapes a sigh of frustration. 

“Does it hurt too much? Do you want me to apply more anesthesia?” Tinn asks, stopping his work for a moment.  

Gun shakes his head slightly and finally finds his voice again. “It’s okay. It doesn’t hurt,” he says, surprising Tinn, who lets out an amusing sound. 

“You’re talking again. That's good,” he says joking but looking relieved. “Are you feeling less disoriented?” he asks, resuming his work on the stitches. Gun just nods. And Tinn remains silent, busy stitching him up again. “So, how did it happen? I mean, the crash car.” He asks, being specific this time. 

“I don’t know. Our car was hit in the rear, and then there was too much chaos.” Gun explains still a bit confused about everything that happened. Tinn nods before asking again. 

“How did you get here? Are you by yourself?” Tinn asks doing the last stitches. Gun shakes his head slightly. 

“They’re outside. The nurses didn’t let them in” he explains, and Tinn just nods. 

Makes sense. When the emergency room is so full like today, they don’t let patients have any company. Tinn cuts the thread and withdraws to the table with the medical utensils. When he returns to the bedside he has a gauze in his hands. 

“I’m gonna cover it now,” he lets him know, with his voice ever so calm. 

It’s so relaxing, listen to him explain every part of the procedure, it’s extremely calming. Gun thinks.

And then Tinn is covering the injury with the gauze, his touch as soft as always. Gun is enjoying way too much of his careful touch.

But too soon to his liking. Tinn’s hands stop touching him. And they’re faced with each other again. Silence surrounds them but it’s not awkward. 

“You’re all set up,” Tinn says taking off the gloves of his hands and setting all the instruments on the small table. “The nurse will explain how to take care of the wound. Try not to make any activity that would cause the stitches to open. You have to come back in two weeks to remove them. And don’t leave without doing the head scan.” Tinn instructs in his most professional tone. 

“Thank you…” Gun says in a small voice. Looking at Tinn with a lingering look, as if he wanted to say more but wouldn’t dare to do so. 

“Not problem,” Tinn says avoiding eye contact all of a sudden. It doesn’t go unnoticed to Gun how Tinn busied himself fixing the instruments on the table that don't need to be fixed. When Gun feels Tinn is about to leave he calls him, without stopping a second to think what he really wants to say. 

“I…” he tries, clears his throat, and continues. “I wanted to apologize about the other day…” he says and when Tinn finally looks at him confused, he clarifies. “At the apartment.”

Tinn once again averts his eyes, focusing on the instrument's table again. 

“I know it must’ve been shocking. I didn’t mean to… I didn’t know you were back and...” Gun knows he is babbling but he needs to let it out so he finishes “I’m sorry.”

Tinn takes a big breath of fresh air before saying. “It’s alright. Don’t worry about it. Tiw explained everything. It was just a big confusion.”  

Gun nods, not so sure of what exactly has Tiw explained. But when he’s about to add something, someone joins them on the stall. The nurse is back and with her is another doctor a bit older than Tinn. 

“Tinn, are you done here?” the man asks, Tinn looks in his direction and mutters something just for the two of them. And Gun can't help but notice the softened tone of voice in which the other man speaks to Tinn, and the concern in his eyes when Tinn answers him. Nor does the lack of honorifics that is a clear reflection of their closeness go unnoticed.

“Everything is ready to do the CT scan, Doctor.” The nurse points out, but Gun is more interested in the interaction Tinn’s having with the other doctor. When he’s done talking to the other, Tinn turns to the nurse.

“Please take him there after explaining how to treat his wound.” He asks the nurse. And with a last look towards Gun, he’s about to leave, but Gun stops him from doing it. 

“Tinn,” Gun calls before stopping to think about what he wants to say, again. He just wants to have Tinn’s attention on him for the last time. “It’s good to know that you’re back.” Gun finally says, “Thank you again,” he adds, with a broken little smile and a knot in the back of his throat. 

He does notice the intrigued expressions on both the other doctor and the nurse when they listen to the familiarity with which he just called Tinn’s name. But it doesn’t matter because Tinn’s eyes are again on him. 

They share a moment, staring deep into each other’s eyes. And Gun can’t help but feel thrilled about this small last interaction. 

“It’s good to be back,” Tinn says after another moment of intense silence. “Take care of yourself,” he adds and then leaves along with his colleague with whom Gun shares one last look full of intrigue.

~

“How do you know him?” his friend asks when they’re on their way back to the cafeteria. The situation at the emergency room was under control at least for the moment.

Tinn is still feeling a bit weirded out by the previous interaction he just had with his… ex. When he realizes the implication of the question asked. 

“How do I—” he’s about to repeat but asks instead “Do you know him?” at his friend's instant nod, Tinn can’t help but be surprised. “How do you know him?”

“His band it’s pretty famous in the region,” the older one explains as if Tinn wasn’t well aware of that. 

He has known Mai for almost three years now. They had a few classes together but ironically they haven’t get really close to each other until they went together to study abroad. He knows about Tinn’s ex, the breakup, and everything that came after that but he doesn’t know who Tinn’s ex is. And Tinn plans to keep it that way. 

“We went to high school together,” Tinn explains briefly. Technically it was not a lie but to say that Gun and him had been just high school classmates was an understatement. 

Mai just nods to his explanation but looks at him as if he wasn't sure that was all there was to it.

Oh if he only knew. Tinn thinks.

“So, are you up for going out tomorrow? After this hell of a shift, I really need to have some fun” he says changing the topic again. And Tinn can’t be more relieved. 

They agree about going out and they talk about it for a few more minutes until they spot Gun getting out of the emergency room. Tinn crosses eyes with him and neither of them realizes of their surroundings anymore. The eye contact is broken when Gun is approached by a young girl that greets him enthusiastically. Tinn watches them interact and they look very close to each other. 

He wonders if…?

“That’s his rumored girlfriend, so I heard,” his friend provide him with the answer to his silent question. 

Tinn nods and turns his back on the supposed couple, his friend pats him on the back before hugging him by the shoulders, and both of them return to the cafeteria to finish their meals, without noticing the curious look of a certain singer who can't take his eyes off them. 

Wondering the exact same thing Tinn didn’t dare to ask.

***

The next day Tinn’s waiting for his friend to arrive at the agreed bar. Their last shift has been intense and exhausting, so going out feels like a deserved treat. The place is nice, already full of people despite being early. Apparently, the people there are enthusiastically waiting for a famous band to do their appearance. Tinn is too freshly returned to the country to know anything about this band, so he distracts himself on his phone while he waits for his friend.

After almost an hour waiting Tinn is too immersed in the article he’s reading on his phone to notice the next two things that happen: First, the band has already arrived at the bar and was preparing to start their performances at any minute. Second, his friend has arrived too. And if Tinn weren’t too focused on greeting him he probably would’ve noticed the eyes of the lead singer of said band fixed on him. 

The pair of doctors spend the next hour talking and drinking nonstop. 

“I’m telling you, friend. It’s not good to hold on to the past, you should always look forward to the future!” Mai says, a bit too excited. 

“Ugh, Phi… That’s easier said than done.” Tinn complains with frustration. “Sometimes the past is too good to let it go.” Tinn continues with his eyes lost in the empty space in front of him, lost in his memories. 

The band is now resuming their performance after half an hour break and in the atmosphere you can hear the first notes of a Silly Fools song Tinn knows perfectly well. The slightly different version does not fail to evoke memories Tinn has long ago stopped trying to forget. He sees himself at seventeen drawing a silly doodle of the boy who at that time was just his crush. If he closes his eyes for long enough he can see the Chinzilla band performing the folklore cover of the song at the temple contest, as the music progresses he feels his smiles grow progressively just like it did back then when he was too happy to see his crush perform the vibrant song. Back then he was fighting the urge to get up and dance to the song and now that he can freely dance to it, he’s too heartbroken to do it.

“Some memories are too precious to forget…” Tinn adds with a wistful smile, still lost in his memories. 

Some smiles are too beautiful to forget. Eyes that shone so bright he felt warmth spread inside his chest every time he stared at them, like flowers blooming first thing in the morning, that's how he felt every morning he woke up at his side, all wrapped up in his arms. Lips so sweet he became addicted to them. A voice so soft he still listens to it in his dreams... 

“I’ve never been good at moving on. I'm not the type of person who can let go easily, I guess” Tinn says, half-jokingly half frustrated.

His friend shakes his head with a pity look on his face. And they continue talking and drinking nonstop. 

~

“Hey, Gun” Sounds calls his attention before they resume their performance. Sound is the only one of his high school friends that keeps being part of his band. Both have pursued music and when they were in college they decided to form a band together again, so now they were closer than they were in high school. Gun moves closer to his friend to listen to him better over the noise of the bar. “Did you see who’s there at the corner?” he asks pointing to the said place with his mouth since his hands were busy holding his guitar. 

Gun follows the direction his friend points out and his eyes find him. Of course, he had already noticed him. He had noticed his presence since the first moment he had arrived at the bar. It was as if his senses were always alert to his presence, or maybe he was just always trying to find him everywhere he goes.

“I did notice,” Gun says, with his eyes still focused on that corner of the bar. 

“Life is indeed playing tricks with you two, huh? You keep meeting each other all the time” Sounds says with a chuckle to which Gun just tries to smile it off, but he knows he has failed when his friend pats him on the back in an attempt to comfort him. 

“Hmm, I guess this city is not big enough for the both of us” Gun says with a sigh. 

“Do you want to postpone the performance?” Sounds aks, surprising Gun. He has been very insistent on performing at the bar today.

“It’s alright. We’ve been postponing this for long enough. Let’s continue. I don’t think he’ll even notice. He is quite entertained.” Gun says, referring to Tinn’s company. He recognizes the older man as Tinn's colleague from the hospital. And he can’t help but wonder again, were they…? 

He stops himself from asking and guessing further. And focus instead on the band performance that was starting already.

~

Gun’s anxious. The band has stopped its performance to have half an hour break and now he was with his bandmates at the bar, they were given free drinks as a courtesy but Gun’s drink remains untouched on the counter. Almost one hour and a half later and he’s still staring at a certain corner of the bar. Sounds notices, of course, he notices.

“Can you relax?” He asks standing next to him at the bar. 

“They’re drinking nonstop,” Guns points out. “I’m just worried they end up kiss—" he interrupts himself and shaking his head continues, "I mean, falling and hitting themselves or something,” he finishes and turns to look to another place a bit embarrassed. Sound looks at him and shakes his head. 

“They’re not—” Sound interrupts what he’s saying and says instead “Oh, one of them is leaving” Sound hasn’t finished talking when Gun was spinning around looking back to the same spot. 

A sigh of relief leaves Gun's lips as he sees Tinn’s friend be the one who’s leaving. 

“Not so fast. I think Tinn is going with him,” Sound adds, making Gun tense. They follow Tinn's staggering walk with their eyes and realize he is going in the opposite direction of his friend. “Never mind, I think he’s going to the restroom.” 

Another sigh of relief leaves Gun, until he remembers how messy the men's restroom can get, he had witnessed the occasional scandal caused by customers who had drunk too much. And all of them somehow started or finished in the restroom. 

Worried all over again he turns to face Sound with a silent plea in his eyes.

“Would you—?” he’s asking but his friend cut him off right away.

“I swear… You owe me this one” he complains at the same time he’s moving towards the restroom. 

Minutes pass by, and Gun is getting increasingly anxious, one of his legs has started moving up and down nonstop in a nervous tic he’s never been able to control. Until he finally spots Sound with Tinn holding onto his shoulders, leaning half of his body weight on him. They seem to be talking but Sound doesn’t look very pleased to be there holding Tinn and having whatever conversation they were having. 

Gun meets eyes with his friend and the order is clear in the other’s eyes “Come here and get me out of this” is what he reads in his friend’s eyes and Gun messes his hair out of frustration. 

“Damn it...” he grunts before leaving his place on the bar. Knowing well he will regret what he’s about to do, but not having other options. 

He is not very excited about what is going to happen next, but there is nothing he can do to avoid it or he'll feel worse.

***

The next morning Tinn wakes up being a completely regretful mess. His head feels painfully heavy and like it’s about to explode at any moment. He swears he will never drink like that again and try getting up but regrets it instantly. Remaining in bed seems like the best thing to do at this moment. So, taking advantage of his position laying down on the bed he closes his eyes and tries to remember the previous night. 

How did he even get to his apartment? Wait… his apartment? Why was he even here? 

He forces himself to try to remember but not much comes to his mind. He remembers talking to his friend and started drinking a lot, then he remembers the song that the band had played and the memories It evoked, and remembers drinking even more because of that. Then his friend had to leave, and he went to the restroom, and then Sound was there… 

Wait… Why was Sound there? 

And right after meeting Sound, he doesn’t remember anything more. Did Sound take him to the apartment? How did he even open the door? Tinn was not carrying the key with him when he left for the bar. 

He’s so confused that when he gets a sudden flashback it throws him off completely. 

“Why are you here? You’re not supposed to be out there drinking. You can’t drink, you had a contusion less than 24 hours ago…”

“I’m not exactly the one who’s been drinking, Dr. Tinnaphob…” Gun had said with a stoic expression. And then Tinn feels he’s being thrown into the other’s arms, probably by Sound who doesn't stand having to support his weight anymore. “Let’s get you home,” Gun had added in soft whisper, holding Tinn by the waist. 

And after that Tinn is completely blank again.

Letting out a frustrated yells he gets up and sits on the bed. He starts looking around as if he will find some sort of clue that Gun has been there. And he finds it. It’s on the nightside table at his right. A folded piece of paper with his name on it.

You pass out last night. Didn’t know where else to take you so I brought you to the apartment. I apologize in advance if that was intrusive and I also apologize for our first encounter, again. I leave with you the apartment's keys so an incident like that one will never happen again. Sorry, and please take care of yourself.  —Gun. P.S. There’s some Pad Kee Mao with Rice Congee on the fridge for the hangover. 

Tinn reads the note multiple times and can’t stop the butterflies he feels in his belly. It has been so long since he has been taken care of, and the person doing it right now was no other than his… ex. 

He tries to convince himself that the sudden turn of his stomach is due to the hunger he feels and not to anything else. But deep down he knows is probably for both things, hunger and feelings. Feelings he was not going to focus on first thing in the morning. 

With renewed energy, he gets out of bed and goes straight to the kitchen. The mentioned food is indeed in the fridge and this time his stomach growl with satisfaction. He was truly hungry after all. He puts the food in the microwave to warm it up and goes to the bathroom before sitting down to eat. When he enters the bedroom again he spots the keys of the apartment Gun mentioned in the note, he grabs said keys and stares at them for long minutes. 

Was this finally the closing chapter of their story together? Was he trying to tell him he was ready to move on or even worse, that he already moved on? Was the sinking feeling in his chest a warning he should not ignore?

Probably, but he was not ready to answer any of those questions, so he saves the keys in the nightstand drawer and hurries toward the bathroom. Deciding that for the time being he would just concentrate on feeding his empty stomach, feelings might hit him afterward when he's fed and strong enough to face them.

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9 | ?

“It’s just a picture, it can’t be that sad”

The picture:

Found on twitter, going to adopt this now

Writer friends, tell me how many WIPs and how many UFOs you have. I have 2 WIPs and [redacted] UFOs (jk it’s around 16 across my three main fandoms)

OMG OMG OMG

We're back!

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July 11, 2023 - 16:35 UTC

Chapter 2: Running away

Gun wakes up involved in comfortable warmth. Attracted to the unknown source of heat, he moves closer, strong arms hug him tightly, and he swears he hasn't been this comfortable for a long time. With a big smile on his face, he snuggles into the firm chest…

Hold on… a what? Gun thinks, becoming more and more awake. Almost immediately, he feels a warm breath on the top of his head, and simultaneously he listens to a low snoring sound. Wait, he knows this sound…

Opening his eyes, he faces a broad chest that moves slightly with each breath the person in front of him takes. The familiar smell of him fills his nose, and unable to resist, Gun buries his face in the warm chest, his arms going up to the other's waist, and hugs him with no intention to let go any time soon. It feels like a reward, like a signal for him to never let him go. But he knows better; he knows this is just a dream, it has to be a dream.

But then, the protagonist of his dream starts moving in between his arms.

Gun has no more option than to unwrap his arm off his waist and lift his head to look at him.

And there he is, lying down in front of him, in the same bed, with his arms hanging loose around Gun's waist and hips. Their legs tangled together as they used to be years ago.

Gun is unable to stop his hands from going up to caress Tinn's hair that has fallen on his forehead. The other barely moves, slightly turning his head where Gun's hand rests against his cheek.

“Am I dreaming?” Gun whispers in disbelief. His fingers are tracing the handsome features of the other boy, taking a little bit more time on the curve of his lips. “If so, I don't want to wake up… ever.”

“Hmmm,” Tinn murmurs, instantly alarming Gun. The taller boy grabs Gun's waist with more strength burying his face in the space of the other neck and shoulder. “Feels… so good…” Tinn murmurs again, purring the words right against Gun's sensible neck skin.

Gun's whole body shudders.

And this wakes him up completely.

“Alright, this is definitely not a dream…” Gun murmurs with concern. “How do we even end up in this situation?” he wonders.

But even more important, how was he going to get himself out of this?

Trying to control the hectic rhythm of his heart, Gun tries to untie Tinn's arms off his waist, but the other boy's grip is too strong. He's about to give up when a movement from the other alerts him. Gun remains fully motionless for long seconds, too nervous and afraid to even breathe.

Slowly Tinn restricts himself from the spot he was hiding on Gun's neck, and way too soon for Gun's liking, they're facing each other once again. After all these many years, after everything they have gone through.

Gun can see the confusion on Tinn's face, and he's about to say something when he feels Tinn's finger trace with so much tenderness his bottom lip while Tinn's other hand finds its way to caress his chin, the touch as soft and tender as it has always been. Gun shuts his eyes close, allowing himself to enjoy the other's touch, even though he knows he's not supposed to do that.

He should be finding a way to get them out of this, find an explanation for the disaster, or at least try to explain himself, say something… but instead. He's just there enjoying the proximity and intimacy of… his ex.

Right, his ex. Even after years, those words still hurt like the first time he had used them.

Like an electroshock, this takes him out of the haze he had fallen into, and he opens his eyes again, withdrawing himself from the touch of the other.

“H-hi…” Gun whispers trying to smile, but is pretty sure it is failing.

Tinn freezes in his place, with his hands hanging mid-air. In the beginning, he had thought he was having another of his numerous dreams, but the Gun in his dreams had never felt this real, the Gun in his dreams never talked so clearly, never felt this warm, never looked this beautiful… the Gun in his dreams has never been so close and yet so far.

“Tinn…?” Gun whispers again, feeling increasingly uneasy.

Yeah, it's definitely NOT one of his dreams, Tinn murmurs in his head. Realization hits hard when Tinn registers how close they are to each other, chests almost touching, hands on his waist, legs tangled…

“Oh shit!” Tinn mutters, jumping out the bed, almost falling in the process, hitting one of his toes with the base of the bed.

“Are you alright?” Gun asks with concern, seated on the bed, looking at Tinn with worried eyes and tousled hair, looking as adorable as always…

Shit, shit, shit… what the hell is going on?! Tinn rambles in his head in complete chaos.

“I... I can't... What are...? How...? I have to go...” Tinn stammers, unable to form a coherent sentence.

“Wait, Tinn…” Gun tries to stop him from running away, but he's too fast, and once again, just like the previous time, he sees the boy he loved storm out of the apartment and out of his life.

***

Out of breath, heart throbbing in his chest, and wearing the same clothes he was wearing yesterday is how Tinn arrives at his parent's house. The first thing he does before entering the house is text the betrayer he has for his best friend.

When he has sent the text, he enters the house, and the first one to approach him is, of course, his father.

“Tinn!” his father exclaimed excitedly, running out of the kitchen to greet him. “How come you're here? Why didn't you tell us you were coming?”

“I wanted to surprise you both,” Tinn answered, hugging his father as tight as he was hugging him. Tinn can see his mother stopped in her tracks beyond the kitchen. “Surprise…” Tinn adds with a timid smile.

After all the greetings and hugging, Tinn can go to his former room and take the longest shower he has taken in the last few days. It's almost dinner time when Tinn goes down to the living room again. Looking around, he just finds his mother seated on a couch reading a magazine. Tinn runs towards her and sits by her side, hugging her.

“Oh, son…” she says with an endearing tone in her voice, leaving the magazine aside and hugging him back. “Are you feeling better?” she adds.

Tinn only nods. When he realizes his father's absence, he asks, “Where's Dad?”

“At the market buying ingredients to make your favorite dish,” his mom’s reply warms Tinn's heart, and he feels emotional again, so he hugs her longer this time.

At that moment, a rush of guilt hits him when he realizes how much distance he has put between himself and his parents for the last few years. He has missed them so much, and he feels the need to express it so he says, “I've missed you both so much.”

“We've missed you too, son. A lot,” she says, caressing his hair like she used to do when he was younger. “Now, are you gonna tell me why you were so troubled when you arrived?”

***

Tiw has been enjoying the last few days with his boyfriend. They barely have free time, so a few relaxing days were always welcome. It's early in the morning, and he's cuddling with his cute boyfriend planning on spending the entire day in bed.

Until…

Tinn: “Ai'Tiw, Damn traitor! You set me up to meet with Gun. I'm gonna freaking kill you when I see you!”

What the hell?

“Oh, shit. Tinn!” Tiw screams, jumping out of bed, startling Por in the process.

“What's wrong?” Por asks, half asleep.

“Tinn and Gun met…” explains Tiw after reading multiple times the message Tinn has sent him.

“How so?”

“I got no idea, love. I'm gonna call Tinn. I think you should call Gun to check on him,” Tiw suggests, and Por just nods and hurries out of bed to call his friend.

“Alright, alright, but if you keep threatening me, I won't go see you,” Tiw complains. “How was I supposed to know you were back when you didn't tell anyone about your returning so suddenly?”

Someone seems to be yelling something on the other side of the call.

“Okay, okay, don't yell at me just yet. Save it for later, friend.” Tiw says with a calm smile.

At that moment, Por enters the room with his phone in one hand, done with his own call.

“Was he mad?” Por asks with a grimace on his face.

“He's hysterical. It's okay. I'll deal with him later,” replies Tiw with a slight shrug of his shoulders. “How is Gun?”

The grimace on Por's face increases.

“He's mostly confused. He doesn't understand how they end up in that situation, and neither do I… Did you—?” Por is about to ask with suspicion but is interrupted by his boyfriend.

Tiw walks his way toward Por and involves his arms around the latter.

“Hey, not even I, with my screenwriter mastermind, can plot such an unexpected encounter. I didn't even know when Tinn was coming.”

“How weird, isn't it?”

“It is…, but you know what is even weirder?” Por only shakes his head with a curious look. “Your ability to look cuter in the mornings. How is it that you get cuter each day?” Tiw asks with a fake complaint.

“Ai'Tiw! I thought you were being serious!” Por whines, blushing hard.

“I am being serious. Extremely serious”

The pair of boyfriends keep flirting with each other the rest of the morning. Quickly forgetting, at least for a moment, about the mess their best friends were in.

***

When Tiw arrives at Tinn's home, he meets a calmer Tinn. The latter even hugs him as a greeting, and Tiw is surprised to even see his friend smiling. Tiw had thought he would encounter a really mad Tinn, but this version of his friend looks calmer, more than he expected.

“So, you're telling me it was all a major coincidence…” Tinn says with the same relaxed expression.

“I didn't even know you were here. How could I have planned for you two to meet when I didn't know you were here?”

“What about the man at the airport? He asked directly for me and said he was sent by Khun Sophonpatina.”

“He didn't mean you, and he wasn't talking about me either.”

Tinn's confused face makes Tiw want to laugh.

“Remember how Gun and you had this habit of using each other's last names when you were traveling? We will always pick you up by each other's last name. Well, Por and I were kinda doing the same, and the man was there to pick up Gun on Por's behalf. Gun was getting back from one of his trips, and the man Por sent was late, so Gun took a taxi, and when the man couldn't find him, he asked for Khun Jirawatthanakul, and you were already there so…”

“Wait, so… he's still using my last name?” Tinn asks, surprised.

“Ow, Tinn, that's the only thing you get from all of that?” Tiw reproaches him with a smile, shaking his head in disbelief.

“What? Do you want me to focus on the fact that you blatantly lied to me?” Tinn reproaches again. Tiw looks at him with confusion, so Tinn explains, “You said Gun was touring out of the country, and you knew damn well he was not!”

“Hey, in our defense. Por and I try to get him out of the country for his own good, but he refuses. He hasn't been good lately…” Tiw adds the last part waiting for his friend's reaction.

Tinn's attention is caught immediately by those few words, and the doctor struggles to resist the urge to ask for more information. But at that moment, his Dad returns from the supermarket, and Tinn offers himself to help cook, but his father refuses his help and takes on the task by himself as a welcoming gesture to his son.

They invite Tiw to join them for dinner, but he kindly refuses to go see his boyfriend instead.

After dinner, Tinn finds himself alone with his mother again. The question she had asked him earlier floats still around them. Tiw's visit had interrupted their conversation, and Tinn wasn't able to answer the question then, but right now, he was the one who wanted answers.

“Tinn?” his mom calls.

Seated again on the couch, both of them look at each other, searching for answers. Once again is his mom who takes the first step.

“It wasn't intentional, but I heard part of the conversion you had with Tiw…” his mother starts strong, direct to the point. “The reason why you were so troubled this morning is because you met with him, right?” she asks, grabbing Tinn's hands in a supportive gesture.

Tinn lets out a long and tired sigh before answering.

“It was an unfortunate coincidence, but yeah, we met. I saw him…”

“It must've been shocking. Are you alright, son?” his mom asks with concern.

“I… I'm just confused. How did he even get there…?” Tinn complains in an outburst.

Tinn doesn't see it, but a glint of guilt crosses her mother's face before she confesses.

“It's my fault. I should have told you sooner. I'm sorry, Tinn. I just... I couldn't say no.”

“What are you talking about?” Tinn asks with his heart racing.

“It happened the next day after you left to go to America…”

They return from the airport from seeing Tinn off. And they find their house emptier than ever.

They're gonna miss their son so much, but deep down, both know that Tinn leaving was probably the best thing to do. However, Photjanee cannot help but wonder if the two boys are going to be okay. The break-up had been so sudden, she didn't even know the reason for it. She didn't dare to ask. What she knows for sure is that both of her sons were hurting. And it pains her not being able to do anything to help them.

It's almost amusing how she was so reluctant to accept them at the beginning of their relationship, and now that it ended, it feels so wrong, somehow.

The next day she goes to Tinn's apartment after work. Her son has asked her to pick up some boxes he has left there. But what she hasn't expected is to find someone else in there. She knows who it is immediately, with a sad smile, she is about to reach the boy, but she stops midway.

Gun is in the main bedroom holding tight to what she assumes is one of her son's shirts. It breaks her heart when the boy she has grown to love as another son, breaks down right in front of her, clinging to the soft fabric of the shirt while he cries his eyes out.

She doesn't know what to do. It feels wrong to be here watching such a personal moment. But at the same time, she feels the urge to go and console the boy, just like she did with her own son. She knew the two of them loved each other deeply, and that's why it is harder to understand what could've gone so wrong in their relationship to the point of breaking up.

Unable to stop herself, she reaches the boy, and without uttering a single word, she involves him in her arms. Gun tens a little, but when he recognizes her, he relaxes and leans in her embrace, crying even harder. Minutes pass, and none of them breaks the hug until the crying has slowed down a little.

“I'm sorry… I know I shouldn't be here. I'm so sorry,” he mutters in a quiet voice that breaks Photjanee's heart a little bit more.

“Please, don't apologize. I know it is hard,” she says, patting the boy's back gently. A few more minutes pass in silence until he talks again.

“I'm such a mess,” he murmurs, more relaxed, cleaning his face with one hand and realizing he's still holding the shirt in the other hand. He folds the shirt neatly and places it back on the box before finally facing Photjanee. “I'm sorry, Mom…”

The words linger in the air in an awkward silence. As they both realize what Gun had said.

“Sorry, it's out of habit,” he apologizes again, trying to smile, but his face just manages to make a painful grimace.

“It's alright, son. No need to apologize, I understand,” she says with a calm smile, trying to settle him down a bit. “Are you here to pick up your things too?”

With a sad look in his eyes, he looks around as if he's just recognizing his surroundings.

“Umm… Not really, I don't have anything left here…” he whispers the last thing looking back at the box with Tinn's belongings. “I was just… just saying goodbye, I guess,” he says quietly, eyes still lost in the items within the box.

Photjanee doesn't know what to add to that, so she remains silent for long minutes.

“Would you like me to give you some time? I can come back another day…” she proposes.

“It's alright. You don't need to… I'll help you carry everything to the car,” he proposes instead.

Soon, they're walking down to the parking lot of the building. Gun enters the box in the car and is about to say goodbye when he stops himself, and instead, he says, “Mom…” closing his eyes, he apologizes again and continues. “Do you mind if I… If I stay here a little longer?”

“I couldn't say no,” she admits with a sigh. “I know I should've asked you since it is your apartment. I'm sorry, son.”

“It's alright, Mom,” Tinn reassures her until something crosses his mind. “Do you know if he has been staying there all this time?” He asks with the knot his mom's words have given him still in the back of his throat.

“I don't think so… I know he just goes there for a certain time. Last week he called asking if he could stay there for a few days. If I had known you were coming, I would've…”

“I know, Mom. Don't worry.”

“What are you gonna do?” she asks, concerned anyway.

“For the time being, I'll stay here, if you allow it, of course,” Tinn says, to which his mother immediately agrees. “And I'm gonna give him time until we can talk about it, I know he hasn’t been well, especially these days. And I think I know why...”

When his mother looks at him confused, Tinn explains.

“My birthday is near, and with it, is the date of our... anniversary.”

Photjanee finally understands what was troubling both boys and cannot help but feel sorry for both of them. She hopes that Tinn's return will not be a cause of pain for either of them and that they will be able to face it with the maturity with which they have always faced everything.

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9 | ?