Hanji Fanfiction - Tumblr Posts
If Hange Zoe had social media
Solely uses instagram to repost stories that they were tagged in. If they do post, I imagine them being:
Photos of them at a wedding wearing a suit
Selfies and photos after a successful experiment
Photos during a fieldwork
A single photo of an interesting leaf/rock
Posts a bunch of lame jokes and shower thoughts they had on twitter (X). They also retweet important news.
Sometimes they would browse on reddit, tumblr, and facebook for science puns and relatable science shit. They also like to read random theories.
I feel like they’d enjoy watching tiktok. Their fyp would be those galvanized square steel room design stuff, silly cat, dog, whatever animal videos, wood soup asmr, and satisfying videos.
On youtube they would watch conspiracy theories, more cat videos, world history, and aqualife/national geographic documentaries. I bet they would’ve also loved buzzfeed.
thinking about horny drunk hange
Masterlist
🍇 - fluff
🍎 - smut
🍊 - angst
🍋 - attempt at comedy
🫐 - stupid shit
my hange zoe headcanons 🍇🍋
naked in manhattan pt. 1 pt. 2 🍎
i want you 🍊🍇
hange zoe as a college student 🍇🍋
if hange zoe had social media 🍇🍋
hange zoe as your roommate 🫐
red wine supernova 🍎🍇
divider by @/saradika-graphics
hange fuckin u w the strap and praising u when.. 🤫
tags: dubious consent, drinking, tipsy hange, fem! reader, modern setting, mind blowing sex u pass out, minors dni plzzzzzz
It was a particularly stressful day for Hange. They were loaded with work, pile after pile of documents, and it seems like it won't end. They had to leave their office past their hours, earning multiple grumbles from hange. Their head was empty on their journey home, like they were moving on autopilot.
They manage to get home in one piece, unlocking the door to their apartment. They step in hastily taking off every item of clothing clung to their body. Leaving them in their boxers and tank top.
They enter the living room, opening the TV and grabbing their favorite wine that they keep in stock. Chugging the liquor straight from the bottle, they let out a hearty sigh as they finally relax after a tiring day.
Hange let themself loose. Mind blank and body slack as they drink, barely paying attention to what’s playing on the TV. That’s why they didn't notice that you entered the living room until you spoke.
“What’s this all about?” you asked with a little bite. “Oh my god. Baby, I missed youuuu”. Hange slurred as they went in for a hug, resting their face on the crook of your neck. It seems like the wine took over their system fast, also because they didn’t eat anything beforehand.
“Yeah? I missed you too, baby. But don’t you think you should eat dinner first?” You replied as you returned their embrace. Hange hugged you tighter and muttered something against your neck.
“I can have you for dinner instead.” You barely register what they said before blood rushes to your face. “Geez, Hange. Get off of me.” Playfully smacking their shoulder before getting them a glass of water.
“Drink this.” Giving the glass to Hange which they took gently. You turn your back towards them to heat up their dinner in the microwave.
“Babe, I’m not that hungry.” They whined. “I made your favorite pasta.”. Silence coated the air for a few seconds before they spoke again.
“But I want you.”
“Just eat a few bites.”
“Uhkay.” they huffed out.
As Hange is eating their dinner, you take care of the mess they made when they got home. Returning the bottle of wine to its shelf and turning the tv off, you hear Hange announce that they're done with their food.
Standing a few steps away, you watch as hange goes to wash their plate. You see that they finished their plate causing you to smile.
They're so focused at the task while moving their body slowly. They're definitely drunk, you thought to yourself as you hold in your laughter. They turn around once they're done, smiling when they see you. You place a kiss on their jaw.
“Thank you.” You take their hand, leading the both of you towards the couch to lounge for a bit before heading to bed. Hange is stumbling a little, the liquor still in their system. Once you're both sat down, Hange is all over you. Littering kisses all over your face and neck, their hands are holding on to your breasts and waist.
You indulge in it until you remember that they drank. With the little strength you have, you try pushing them away.
"Hange, stop. You're drunk" to which Hange immediately replies "No, I'm not. Sure, I had a drink, but I know exactly what I'm doing right now.".
Not believing them, you push them away once more. "Hange, you're not thinking straight-". The words get stuck in your throat as Hange forcefully lays on top of you, your hands held by them on the sides of your face. Their strength caught you off guard. You're dumbstruck, staring into your partner's blown out pupils.
"You think a drunk person can do this?".
Your mouth opens and closes aimlessly, suddenly you can't find your voice.
"That's what I thought" Hange says snarkily before kissing you aggressively.
You find yourself lying on the bed, legs over Hange’s shoulders, gripping onto their hair as they pound into you relentlessly. You don't even remember how you got here, which is ironic because you weren't the one under the influence.
They whisper the sweetest things to you. “So good for me.”, “You're taking me so well.”, “You're perfect.” meanwhile their hips move like they’re possessed, fucking you senseless. Tears pool in your eyes as your back arches from pleasure.
Their lips latch onto the surface of your skin. They’re kissing you everywhere, your face, your neck, and breasts. Their tongue would dance around your sensitive nipples, leaving you crying from the sensation. Hange continues to thrust into you hard and fast, your body slides upwards with each thrust, but they’re holding onto your hips, pulling you back down onto their strap.
More praises spill out of their mouth, “You take care of me so well, my perfect wife.” Their voice low and raspy. “I love you so much, my darling. You’re always so good to me, so good, so perfect.” You can barely register what they’re saying over the sound of skin slapping and breathy moans filling your ears.
Their unforgiving pace drives out so much pleasure, you feel your orgasm coming. Your moans have turned into sobs and whines. Your legs have gone numb and your mind is blank.
Suddenly, Hange maneuvers you to their liking as if you were a toy. They pull out of you and before you could complain, you find yourself on all fours. You haven’t adjusted to the change in position yet when you feel their hands on your hips and slam into you. Resuming their brutal pace from earlier. You’re lightheaded and out of it, reduced to a drooling fucktoy that only Hange can play with.
You feel a hand on your back as you hear them say “Arch your back for me, doll.”. So you do, or at least you think you tried. “That’s it, pretty.” they rasp out. They remove their hand from your back to take both of your arms and hold it behind your back. You have no choice but to balance your body with only your knees as leverage.
“Look at you..” they breathe out. The new position is so lewd and you can feel Hange hit the deeper spots in your insides.
“You’re mine, all of this is just for me.” They continue. You want to say something but all that comes out from your mouth are sobs and hiccups. It doesn’t take long before you feel your orgasm teetering over the edge.
A pitiful “Please” is all that comes out of your mouth and you pray Hange understands. They hold your arms using one hand, and you feel the other circle your clit.
“Go on, princess. Cum for me.” You cry out, clenching on their cock as your body shakes from the orgasm they just gave you. You lose your balance, face landing on the pillow you just drooled on, but you don’t care. Hange giving you a kiss on your left shoulder is the last thing you feel before passing out.
You wake up to the feeling of arms wrapped around your waist. You're wearing a baggy shirt and your body feels clean. You stretch your body to feel more comfortable until you hear a raspy voice behind your ear say “Go back to sleep, baby.”
a/n: THX FOR THIS ANON i definitely got carried away again lmaooo i hardly write smut on my own initiative so if u want more of these just keep sending requests dont be inspired by this
dividers by @/saradika-graphics
My drunk Hange headcanons
There are two types of drunk Hange: (1) The Hange who only goes drinking with friends and (2) stressed Hange who just wants to let loose
The first one is Hange would only drinks cocktails that taste like juice and nothing like liquor
They can dance if they tried, but they'd rather have fun and look stupid
They really don't care what others think (they never did even when sober)
Hange is very intelligent when sober, but when they're drunk it's like they have 1 brain cell left and they use it to hit the nae nae
They’re also very energetic and bubbly when sober, but drunk Hange would have so much energy enough to power a whole country
They have a high alcohol tolerance but because they always act so impulsive and goofy, it's difficult to tell when they're actually drunk
Show Hange your party tricks, they’re very easily impressed when drunk; They give the best reactions
When it's time to leave, they insist to go to a park first
They just want to pet cats
They're still talkative while drunk but they struggle with pronunciation because they're sooo loose
"Oh my god look at this cat, it has heterophobia"
Eventually the alcohol will take over their system and they just fall asleep
Good thing they're with friends because Hange would sleep at a random street if it weren't for Moblit
The other type is stressed and pent up Hange
This Hange would drink the most disgusting hard liquor ever
After a particularly stressful day, they just wanna sit on the couch, watch tv, and drink whatever liquor they have stocked.
Bro is tired and just wants to let loose
They'd drink the liquor straight from the bottle
They would only stop drinking when they get sleepy or someone takes away the bottle
This Hange is also the type to get hornee
If their partner is at home, good for them because they'd be getting the sloppiest and nastiest sex of their life (i made a oneshot about this lol)