Hellsing Incorrect Quotes - Tumblr Posts

This was nice 👍

Incorrect shit i think Hellsing characters (and reader) would say cause mamas bored

Alucard: *holds a gun out to Reader* Reader: I-I don't believe in guns. Alucard: Well, trust me, they're very real. Now take it. ______

Reader: I still have no idea how I’m attracted to you... Alucard: Yeah, well, you’re stuck with me, and no take backs, honey. ______

Reader: I’m doing what I can to jog your memory. Seras: It’s jogging, I guess. Its tiddies are jiggling a little. Reader: Nice. ______

Reader: Go fuck yourself. Alucard, smugly: Sure, but only if you watch Reader: GET OUT! ______

Reader: Come to dinner tonight. I can’t cook, but I’ll bring plenty of free Blood packets. Alucard: Marry me. ______

Integra: We'll talk about this later. Alucard: Fine, I won’t be listening. ______

Reader: *about Seras and Integra* They make a cute couple, huh? Alucard: They certainly are standing next to each other. ______

Integra: Seras, you'll be working with Reader and Alucard. Seras: Alright! My fantasy threesome! Everyone else: *blank stares* Seras: ...Of people on a team. ______

Reader: Bad news—Seras locked herself outta the manor Reader: Good news—we didn’t have to wait around for a locksmith. Reader: Bad news—Integra finds it very concerning that I know how to pick locks, and tried to unlock my Tragic Backstory(TM). I was too embarrassed to admit that the reason I learned it was because, at thirteen, I figured that was the kind of skill that would impress cute guys/girls/enbies. Reader: Good news—a cute guy/girl/enby saw me do it. Reader: Bad news—it was Alucard, and since they’ve already seen me fall out of several trees, cry because I saw a fawn that was just too damn small, and knows I can ride a unicycle, they’ll never think I’m cool no matter what I do. It’s too late. They know. ______

Alucard: Reader! I can't do this stupid math! Reader: What’s the math problem? Alucard: Well, we have to add the bed, subtract the clothes divide the legs, and hope we don’t multiply. Integra covering Seras' ears, while Reader smacks Alucard upside the head: Not going to lie that was hella smooth. ______

Alucard: We have a problem. Reader: No, YOU have a problem. I have an idiot who keeps making them.