Humor And Fluff - Tumblr Posts
Prompt 98
Geralt comes clean to Jaskier one night that he feels as if their friendship and their traveling partnership is a little onesided, but because he's Geralt, he doesn't articulate this well enough to actually draw you to the correct damn conclusion. Jaskier assumes Geralt is dropping hints that Jaskier isn't doing enough. Geralt hunts and provides for them, and he does the contracts, and he does the cooking (Jaskier would set water on fire if he could) - Thus, Jaskier begins doing more in order to try and prove himself to Geralt. Geralt has finally admitted to Jaskier that he hasn't been doing enough. Jaskier made Geralt famous with one song, Jaskier barters their prices, Jaskier sings to earn them money every night, Jaskier holds his own in the fights he's unfortunately involved in, Jaskier takes care of camp while Geralt is away hunting, Jaskier massages Geralt, and cares for his hair- I mean, it's so much that Jaskier does for them, and Geralt feels he doesn't do enough. But Geralt has finally admitted that he's not doing enough to Jaskier, so now he has the motivation to do better! He just wishes it didn't keep seeming miraculously more and more difficult to keep up with Jaskier-
Prompt 100
one-fuckin-hundred! Let's go!
What if Jaskier and Geralt kk;ijsss ed nghh,; and h hheld hwands
Eskel noted Geralt’s scent on the crossroads. There wasn’t a lot of overlap in their paths (with so few witchers left, the priority was to cover as much ground as possible, not seek company), but Eskel had chased a creature much farther west than he usually went.
After a long, difficult hunt, Eskel decided he deserved to spend a night in his brother’s company.
Only, as he’s following Geralt’s scent trail, he hears an unfamiliar voice. The voice is in the same direction as Geralt’s scent. But Geralt didn’t take people on hunts, did he?
Eskel finds the source of the voice at what could only be Geralt’s camp. A man in a multi-colored, unbuttoned doublet is cooing and chatting at Roach. Who, amazingly, tolerates the noise. She’s also letting the man braid her mane.
What the fuck?
Scorpion, having recognized Roach, announced their presence with a neigh. The noise startled the colorful man. The man spun on his heel, fumbling to pull out a knife at his waist.
That knife…that was a Kaer Morhen blade!
Upon getting a good look at Eskel, the colorful man relaxed and sheathed his blade.
“You witchers, always sneaking up on poor bards. I swear, one of you shall startle me into a heart attack one day.”
Though he griped, the colorful man looked cheerful as he approached and held out his hand.
“Jaskier the bard, master of the seven liberal arts, at your service. Who might you be, sir Witcher?”
He was baffled by the man’s sunny, fearless attitude, but he took the hand, saying, “Eskel of the wolf school.”
“How delightful! Do you know Geralt?”
“We consider each other brothers.”
“And yet he never mentioned you. That man,” Jaskier tsked, “He never tells me anything!
“If it’s any consolation, he doesn’t tell us much either.”
Jaskier went on to tell Eskel that Geralt was out hunting and would be back soon. The bard invited Eskel to make himself at home and join him by the fire. They simply must become acquainted!
As Jaskier went on, Eskel got a good whiff of his scent. It was familiar to him. It was something that hung on Geralt when he returned from the path. Not to mention, Geralt’s scent was all over this man.
Given all of these signs, Eskel could only come to one conclusion: this was Geralt’s secret lover. The only thing that could make it more obvious would be if they exchanged medallions, which was impossible because this man wasn’t a witcher.
Eskel wasn’t surprised that Geralt kept his lover a secret. He had always been a bit territorial. And getting personal details out of Geralt was like trying to pry an alligator’s mouth open.
How lucky he was to encounter Jaskier! They could fill each other in on the details Geralt was needlessly stingy with.
I'm a huge sucker for witchers-meeting-jaskier fics, especially when they come to the conclusion that Geralt is in love with his bard (because he is!) I love this, I love this, I love this!
Geralt secretly loves pumpkin spice. Ciri lets him say he’s buying the lattes and cookies and popcorn for her. In exchange, Geralt raised her allowance.
It’s a good deal, and it’s worked out so far. But, there’s this new barista at the cafe he frequents who seems to have caught on.
Jaskier—the barista in question—doesn’t call him out on it or anything. He just gives Geralt a knowing look whenever he says it’s for his daughter. And he makes more fall-themed suggestions and offers Geralt samples.
Obviously, trying to catch expose Geralt’s guilty pleasure.
Jaskier will heal his new regular's fragile-masculinity-fueled insecurity or he'll die trying. He just hopes he can do it while also getting a date!
Prompt 129
In place of August Seventeenth, Promptapalooza 10/ It's a simple drowner contract. Until one grabs Jaskier and drags him in. Geralt dispatches the creature efficiently and yet Jaskier is still struggling in the water. "Jaskier get out of there!" And yet Jaskier doesn't come to shore. Geralt looks back and watches Jaskier sink under the water. Geralt quickly finishes the fight and dives down for Jaskier. He drags him out of the water onto the beach, and watches as Jaskier throws up murky water. "Jaskier, why didn't you swim to safety!?" Geralt growls. He doesn't mean to snap, but he's upset that Jaskier put himself in harm's way. But then he immediately softens when he sees Jaskier start to cry. "I'm sorry Geralt, I didn't want to be a bother, I- I don't know how." Geralt holds his shivering bard closer to him, and nods a bit. "Alright. Alright.. I'm sorry I yelled. Let's get you to a campfire, bard." Geralt warms Jaskier, and feeds him, and gives him a tea to soothe his throat, and puts him to bed. Then Geralt makes a plan. They're at a calm, clean pond. Jaskier doesn't know why Geralt brought them there, until Geralt starts stripping. "What... Are you doing?" "We're going in. Take your clothes off, bard." It's not exactly the context he wanted to hear it in, but this is something Jaskier has dreamt of hearing from Geralt's lips, and he'll take what he can get. "Geralt, I told you I don't know-" "That's why I'm going to teach you."