I Can't Lose You Again - Tumblr Posts
I Can't Lose You Again - Part Two
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You felt numb as you sunk down, letting your head rest against your knees as your eyes fell shut. The harsh reminder that he wasn’t your Loki, no matter how much you wished he was, stung. Your Loki wouldn’t have ever left you here, especially not with these people.
“Just grab her and let’s go!” You heard somebody snap. You didn’t see Mobius shake his head, glaring as he dismissed the hunter.
A few moments later Mobius knelt down in front of you but stayed silent. He felt sorry for you, he really did. Watching all those months you stayed silent, stayed loyal to Loki’s you didn’t even know just because of the man you knew...he really did sympathise with you.
“I’m sorry.” You whispered before he could say anything.
“Why are you sorry?” Mobius asked, honestly confused. If anything it should’ve been him apologising, he never should’ve taken Loki to you, there was a reason he hadn’t met you in 2012.
“I told you you could trust him.” Was your broken reply. As you looked up at him, Mobius’ frown deepened as he saw the tears in your eyes.
“This isn’t on you.” Mobius told you firmly, “He isn’t the man you know yet, he’s still struggling for control and trying to find his way.” The Loki you knew had years of character development, this Loki, well this Loki hadn’t had a chance yet.
This Loki, for all intents and purposes, was a villain.
“He’s just trying to help.” You told Mobius. You did believe that, you had too, the look on Loki’s face as he had mere seconds to figure out his next move was clear. If he waited for you then he risked Mobius stopping him and then he wouldn’t find out the Variants plan. Logically you knew Loki had made the right move but that didn’t mean it didn’t hurt.
“I know.” Mobius replied honestly. He knew that Loki had grown to care for you, probably more than he wanted to admit, but he wasn’t sure how to deal with that yet. “C’mon we have to go, we’ll figure something out.” Mobius assured you as he stood up holding a hand out for you.
Despite the situation he couldn’t help but smile as you took the offered hand without flinching.
-
When you walked through the doorway and into the TVA you were greeted with chaos. Which made sense when you thought about it, two Loki’s loose together...it was a recipe for disaster.
“Y/N, I need you back in the holding cell whilst this is dealt with.” Mobius said calmly as he turned to you.
“What?” You scoffed, “you’re just going to lock me up whilst Loki is out there with her?” You spat, you refused to sit idly by twiddling your thumbs whilst Loki could be in danger. He might’ve left you here but you’d be damned if you left him.
“I know, ok, I know you want to help but you're too close to this. If we bring you, we risk you running off with them too. I already lost one variant, I can’t lose another.” Mobius explained and whilst you understood his position you couldn’t just stay here.
Obviously there was no way to convince Mobius to let you come, naturally he was right of course, the first chance you got you’d go with Loki. It was never a hard decision when it came to what side to pick when it came to Loki. So instead you nodded.
“Fine, I’ll go sit in my cell.” You muttered before marching off in the direction of the holding cells.
Mobius watched you go with a frown, he wanted you to come, if anyone could talk Loki down it’d be you even if he didn’t know you too well yet but he couldn’t risk it. He knew he’d be in a world trouble as it was, losing you wasn’t an option.
“All Minutemen to armory. Protect the timeline.” Mobius shook his head as the voice repeated the message and quickly sent everyone on their way.
-
Tracking any Loki wasn’t hard, all you had to do was follow the trail of dead bodies. Unfortunately as the trail of bodies ended so did any signs of the Loki’s. Minutemen ran past you as you leaned against the wall, resting your head with a sigh.
“Where are you, Loki?” You whispered.
“Variant!” Somebody exclaimed and you looked up to see Judge Renslayer firing up her pruning device.
“Whoa, hey, I was just going back to my holding cell.” You told her carefully, raising your hands to surrender. You saw firsthand what those batons did to people, no way were you going to let yourself be struck by it.
“You’ve been protecting those Loki’s since we first arrested you.” She snarled, walking closer to you. You tried to move but she had you cornered.
Well shit.
“Listen…” You began but she cut you off.
“No you listen, you’ve been a pain since the beginning. All that loyalty to a man who couldn’t care less about you, I mean, he ran away the first chance he got.” You shook your head, trying not to let the words get to you.
“Yeah, I did, and I’d do it again and again.” You said whilst shooting her a cocky grin, probably not the best course of action but hey, she looked like she was going to kill you either way. “That Loki deserves somebody in his corner, his whole life living in the shadows, never good enough, so yeah I might not know this Loki and he might not know me but I’m going to protect every secret he has and if I die for that,” you said, pausing to chuckle before smiling proudly, “then I’ve done right by him and every other Loki Variant out there who had nobody on their side.”
“Pathetic.” She said before raising the baton. You looked her in the eyes, showed no fear as she came closer and closer to you, just as she was about to touch you-
“Y/N!” Mobius yelled, causing Renslayer to drop the device quickly and turn around just as Mobius rounded the corner. “What the hell?”
“Lost another Variant, Mobius?” Renslayer said as she roughly took a hold of your bicep, nails digging into the skin as she dragged you to Mobius all but throwing you into his arms.
“What happened?” Mobius asked, not dignifying the question with an answer.
“What do you think happened, Mobius?” She snapped, “they left, together, and because the theory of apocalypses was right I don’t know how we’re supposed to find them.”
“I’ll fix it.” Mobius promised before wrapping an arm around your shoulder and leading you away from the judge.
-
“Champagne?” The attendant asked, causing Loki and Sylvie to look up.
“Ah yes. Thank you very much.” Loki said as he grabbed the glass and drank from it, despite all the odds they were finally headed in the right direction. “To the end of the world.”
“A pity the old woman chose to die, don’t you think?” Loki asked.
“She was in love.” Sylvie answered simply.
“She hated him.” Loki shot back but Sylvie smiled at him.
“Maybe love is hate.” Loki quickly conjured up a quill and paper before jotting the quote down causing Sylvie to roll her eyes, unamused by the god across from her.
“Oh piss off.” Loki couldn’t help the smile that spread across his face, it was a strange feeling to be so free.
“So,” Loki began, “on the subject of love, is there a lucky beau waiting for you at the end of this crusade?”
“Yeah there is actually,” Sylvie said with a serious tone, “Managed to maintain quite a serious long-distance relationship with a postman whilst running across time from one apocalypse to another.”
“And with charm like that, who could resist you?” Loki chuckled.
“Well, people are quite willing in the face of certain doom.” Sylvie smiled.
“I'm sure they are.”
“It was only ever just to keep me going. How about you? You're a prince. Must've been would-be-princesses or perhaps, another prince.”
“A bit of both.” Loki admitted with a smile, “I suspect the same as you. But, nothing ever…” Loki trailed off.
“What is it?” Sylvie asked with a tilt of her head.
“All my life there was nothing ever really real, you know? But when the TVA arrested me I found a woman, a woman who remained loyal to a dead man and Variants of that dead man. A woman who let herself be tortured for however long just because she loves me. I haven’t met her yet, not properly, not how I’m supposed to but I believe what I have with her is, what I will have with her…it’s the most real thing in all the realms.” Loki confessed. He barely knew you but he couldn’t ignore the ache in his chest when he remembered the look on your face as he left you behind.
“Even now you’ve started falling for her, haven’t you?” Sylvie asked with a hint of a smile.
“I do believe I have but I ruined it. I left her there as I followed you.” Loki told her, looking down at his lap with a frown.
“Nah, if she put up with you until you died then I’m sure she’s had to deal with worse than this.” Sylvie told him and he couldn’t help but chuckle bitterly at that.
“I hope my future self treated her better than that but I suspect you’re probably right.”
-
Mobius took you to the control panel room, everyone had orders to look for anything out of the ordinary, any slight shift to indict the two Variants were together. You had been placed at one of the empty desks, a screen in front of you showing you the timeline.
“Please wait here whilst I talk to Ravonna.” Mobius told you and this time you just nodded, Loki was gone and you had no idea where. There was no point in running.
It had been hours since they’d gone and Mobius had spent most of that time giving orders out whilst biting his lip anxiously. You hadn’t spoken much or left his side, content to let him do the work so long as it resulted in you finding Loki
Mobius gave you a long look before leaving you alone, no doubt warning the hunters to keep an eye on you.
You sighed as you looked at the screen knowing how useless this was. The two Variants knew how to stay hidden, hide out in apocalypses and the TVA can’t find you, why they thought they could find them now was beyond you.
You didn’t know how much time had passed before Mobius was back and tapping your shoulder, gesturing for you to follow him.
“What did the judge say?” You asked when the two of you were alone.
“The time keepers are on our side but I can’t get access to C-20.” He told you. He wanted to tell you that the hunter was dead, he didn’t know why but it didn’t sit right with him. Instead he shook his head.
“Wait, why? She could know something important, she kept saying something was real.” You said, you had seen the woman yourself as the Minutemen hauled her off.
“She’s too far gone.” Was Mobius’ reply.
You didn’t reply but there were so many thoughts flying around your head and you could feel the start of a headache approaching.
Something about the TVA hadn’t seemed right when you were first brought it and it was explained to you and as every minute passed your doubt grew. The Hunter, C-20, was coherent when she was brought in, sure she was in shock but she was aware.
It didn’t make sense.
“So what happens now?” You asked Mobius watching as he collapsed into his chair.
“I don’t know.”
-
“I remember Asgard.” Sylvie confessed after moments of silence passed as Loki sat next to her, “Not much, but I remember. My home, my people, my life. The universe wants to break free, so it manifests chaos. Like me being born the Goddess of Mischief. And as soon as that created a big enough detour from the Sacred Timeline, the TVA showed up, erased my reality, and took me prisoner. I was just a child. I escaped. Stole a TemPad and I ran for a long, long time, which really sucked. Everywhere and every-when I went, it caused a nexus event.” Loki frowned as Sylvie continued her story. “Sent up a smoke flare. Because I'm not supposed to exist. Until, eventually, I figured out where to hide. And so that's where I grew up, the ends of a thousand worlds and now...that’s where I’ll die.”
Loki had no words, the two of them sat in silence staring ahead as everything fell to pieces around them.
“Not long now.” Sylvie said. “Do you think that what makes a Loki a Loki is the fact we’re destined to lose?” She asked in defeat.
“No.” Loki answered immediately, “We may lose, sometimes painfully, but we don’t die. We survive. I mean, you did. You were just a child when the TVA took you, but you nearly took down the organization that claims to govern the order of time. You did it on your own. You ran rings around them. You're amazing!” Loki praised, smiling as Sylvie smiled.
Loki reached out and took her hand in his.
-
It wasn’t long before you were back in the control room, looking at a bunch of monitors that had yet to change.
“Alarms should be going off for the magnified nexus threshold if somebody steps on the wrong leaf.” Mobius said as the two of you joined Hunter B-15.
“Wherever they are I’m not sure anything survives.” Was her reply causing your eyes widened, your hand reaching out to grip Mobius’.
Mobius looked at you in concern, seeing the tears in your eyes and the hold on his hand was tight but you didn’t look away from the screen, it was like you thought you could will it into changing if you stared at it hard enough.
“Yeah, don't underestimate them.” Mobius said, watching as you let out a mix of a sob and a laugh.
He turned to Hunter B-15, whispering quietly, “You see anything down at Roxxcart?”
“They’re gone.” She answered, “Leaping across time, plotting their next massacre.”
“We got something.” One of the analysts said breaking the silence and you all looked at the screen he was at.
Mobius laughed, “That’s not someone stepping on the wrong leaf. You ever seen a branch like that?”
“No.” Hunter B-15 answered as they got a lock on the location and it wasn’t long before a team of hunters were ready as Loki and Sylvie stepped through the two orange doorways.
“Y/N.” Mobius warned just before they came through, “go to the holding cell, wait for me there.”
“You’re kidding right-” You began but he interrupted you.
“Y/N!” He yelled before looking to one of the hunters, “take her.”
“Mobius!” You yelled, struggling against the man holding you. Unfortunately it was no use and before you knew it you were being tossed into the holding cell.
“Fuck!” You yelled as you picked yourself up off the floor, kicking one of the chairs as you did.
It was useless to try the door, you knew it was, but it didn’t stop you from walking over and slamming your fists against the metal repeatedly, not stopping even after your knuckles started to bleed.
-
“Loki.” Loki’s head snapped away from where the doorway had just disappeared to see you stood in a different doorway.
You looked so pretty, your hair was braided as you wore clothes that were definitely from Asgard.
“Y/N, thank goodness you're here.” He said, his face lighting up as you stepped closer to him.
“You really believed I could fall in love with you, didn’t you?” You asked him, letting out a dark laugh as you did.
“Y/N, what have they done to you?” He asked, taking a step towards you only to stop as you slapped him.
“Who could ever love you? You’re nothing but a coward, murdering innocent people to feel powerful, you’re a villain, Loki, you’re always going to be a villain.” You snarled.
This wasn’t you, Loki knew that much.
“Oh a time cell? Using Y/N against me, very clever, except I have no memories with her so you’re making your own up. Well guess what? I won’t fall for it, I know her and this won’t work on me.” Loki yelled at the ceiling. He didn’t know if anyone was watching him but it felt good to shout a bit.
“You hear me? I promise you, I promise everyone working for the TVA will suffer for ever hurting her, for dragging her into this, you’ll suffer.” He promised, fist clenched at his side.
“Always hurting people, you really are a villain.” You said, drawing his attention back to you.
“This isn’t real, Y/N, snap out of it.” Loki pleaded but you just shouldered your way past him and left.
“Well then…” He said, looking around, wondering where to go from here.
It was silent for a few moments before he heard your voice again.
“Loki.” His head snapped up to you. “You really believed I could fall in love with you, didn’t you?”
“Oh god, come on, not a time loop.” Loki groaned, watching as you stepped forward and slapped him.
“Ow, come on, seriously? This is the TVA’s grand punishment?” He asked.
“Who could ever love you? You’re nothing but a coward, murdering innocent people to feel powerful, you’re a villain, Loki, you’re always going to be a villain.” You snarled again. “Always hurting people, you really are a villain.” You repeated.
Loki didn’t know how many times he had heard you repeat the same speech and as much as he hated to admit it, it really was starting to get to him.
“Loki.” You said, causing Loki to sigh.
“Please Y/N, no more, I beg you. I know, I know I’m a horrible person, I know, I get it. I hurt people and I use people because it’s...well you already know why I do it don’t you?” he chuckled though there was no humour in it, “I crave attention. I know I was raised as a prince, I know I shouldn't complain but living in the shadow of Thor with a father who didn’t care for you…” He trailed off not knowing where to go from there.
“I’m afraid of being alone.” He finally admitted.
“You are alone and you always will be.” You said before disappearing through the doorway.
Loki sat down on the stairs with watery eyes, waiting for you to make your entrance.
“Okay, Loki.” Mobius' voice made him look up, raising his eyebrows at the man, “ready to talk?”
Mobius took Loki back into the interrogation room but the conversation that followed got neither of the men anywhere and it wasn’t long before Mobius ended the conversation.
“Give my regards to Y/N.” He said as the doorway appeared.
“What...No. What? No, no, no. Please, not...well, just wait, wait, wait.” Loki pleaded, not ready to go back into that room, not ready to hear those words from you again.
“Of course it was me pulling the strings all along. She came to me on Asgard a long time ago and then she took me to one of her apocalypses and that's where we hatched our plan together.” Loki lied easily.
“Which is?” Mobius asked.
“Coming along very nicely, thank you.” Loki snarked.
“What of the Variant?”
“Doesn’t matter,” Loki said, lying naturally, “she’s nothing more than a pawn and when she’s finished being useful to me, I’ll dispose of her.”
“Oh she’s already been pruned, you can thank Hunter B-15 for that.” Mobius said casually. “So assume I do set you free…”
“Hang on, what did you just say?” Loki interrupted.
“What? Assume I do set you free.” Mobius repeated, suppressing a smirk.
“No, the variant, she’s gone?”
“Yeah, she took out two of ours, B-15 pruned her.
Loki shrugged, trying not to let his eyes water. “Good riddance.” He forced out.
At that, Mobius couldn’t hold back his chuckle any longer.
“What’s so funny?” Loki snapped, his emotions bubbling at the surface.
“Oh come on, look at your eyes. No wonder you have no clue what caused the nexus event.” Mobius chuckled, of course Loki would be oblivious to a connection like that. It may not have been romantic but it was strong, possibly stronger than a romantic connection.
“The two of you, pure chaos. That’s enough to break reality.” Mobius said.
“You finally trusted yourself, you saw the good in yourself. You fell for yourself.” Mobius couldn’t help but smile.
“Her name was Sylvie.” Loki said through gritted teeth.
“Ah, Sylvie, lovely. Is that I-E or just an I?” Mobius grinned.
“Is she alive?” Loki demanded.
“For now.” Was the reply.
“Mobius, listen to me carefully, if what Sylvie has told me about this place is true, it affects us all.” Loki said, cursing as Mobius rolled his eyes.
“Loki, you’ve already told me about fifty lies in the past ten minutes and now I’m supposed to believe you and Sylvie.” He chucked.
“You’re all Variants!” Loki shouted, cutting Mobius off. “Everyone who works at the TVA. The timekeepers, they didn’t create you, they stole you from your timeline and erased your memories. She has access to these memories through enchantment. So before this, before you were an analyst for the TVA, you had a past, you could have had a family, Mobius, a life.” Loki pleaded with the man, begging him to believe him.
For a moment there was nothing but silence and Loki almost thought that Mobius was going to believe him.
“Nice try but this case is closed. Our interests are no longer aligned as you’d say. I have no need for you, your variant or your girlfriend.” Mobius said, tone harsh.
“What of Y/N?” He asked, glaring at the man opposite him.
“Oh, Y/N is no longer a concern. For your or us.” Mobius said, watching the dangerous glint in Loki’s eyes.
“Leave her out of this.” Loki demanded as he stood up but Mobius just rolled his eyes as two hunters came into the room and took him back into the time cell.
Mobius sat there longer than he intended too, thinking of Loki’s words.
-
“Y/N.” A voice said from the doorway and your head shot up. There was the Hunter B-15. “You have to come with me, now.”
You did as she said, following her out of the room in confusion.
“What’s going on?” You asked but she shook her head.
“No time to explain and even if there was it isn’t safe enough to do so but let’s just say you were right to trust the Loki’s.” She said as the two of you continued on down the hall. “They’re going to need us.”
The two of you entered the armoury and she held out a dagger towards you.
“I’m just assuming you know how to use this.” She said, watching you smile as you gently took it from her.
“I had a good teacher.” You said fondly and she smiled back.
-
Mobius watched the footage on the stolen tempad and once he was done he quickly hurried back to the interrogation room and opened the doorway into the time cell Loki was being held in.
“Do you care about her?” Mobius asked urgently once he was in the room.
“Who?” Loki asked in confusion.
“Sylvie!” Mobius shot back.
“I’m not sure if care is the right word.” Was the reply he got but Mobius shook his head. “I’m sorry, haven’t we already covered this?”
“Shut up!” Mobius snapped. “Do you really think you deserve to be alone?” When he received no reply he snapped Loki’s name.
“What? You told me to shut up.”
“Do you believe you deserve to be alone?” He asked again.
“I don’t know,'' he admitted. He knew the nexus event was caused by a breakthrough between himself and Sylvie. He didn’t want to be with her obviously but did he think he deserved you? He really didn’t know.
“You better figure it out quick, because the nexus event the two of you caused, whatever that connection is, can bring this whole place down. So we better understand…” Mobius rushed out but Loki cut him off.
“We?” He asked.
“Do you swear she didn't implant those memories in Hunter C-20?”
“Mobius, no. I believe her.” Loki vouched.
“So, I just have to trust the word of two Lokis?” Loki debated the question for a few seconds.
“How about the word of a friend?” He smiled as Mobius nodded at him
“You were right, about the TVA.” He admitted, “You were right from the beginning. And if you wanna save them, Sylvie and Y/N, you need to trust me. Can we do that?” Mobius asked and Loki didn’t hesitate to agree.
The pair went to leave the room but Mobius stopped to turn around and face Loki, “You could be whoever, whatever you wanna be, even someone good. I mean, just in case anyone ever told you different.” Loki looked shocked at the words before a genuine smile took over his face and the two of them left the cell.
They quickly paused as they had an audience waiting for them as they stepped out, Judge Renslayer in the center.
“I think you have something of mine.” She said.
Mobius was quick on his feet and quickly withdrew the stolen tempad, “Oh yeah, I got all the way down there before I even noticed I picked the wrong one up. What’s the problem, Ravonna?” He asked, seeing the dark look on her face.
He knew what was about to happen, his friend of eons was about to rid of him like some common prisoner. He took a deep breath before talking again.
“You know where I'd go if I could go anywhere? Wherever it is I'm really from. Yeah, wherever I had a life before the TVA came along. Maybe I had a jet ski. That's what I'd like to do. Just riding around on my jet ski.”
Loki watched in horror, tears filling his eyes, as Renslayer had him pruned.
-
You and Hunter B-15 made your way down into the elevator together. There wasn’t much of a plan honestly but the two of you were going to bring down the TVA, whatever the risk.
“You ready?” She asked you and you grinned at her.
“As I’ll ever be.”
With those words the elevator dinged and the doors opened.
Before anyone had time to move Hunter B-15 had unlocked the collars around Loki and Slyvie’s necks and the other hunters readied their weapons.
“For all time,” Hunter B-15 said,
“Always.” You finished and with that the fighting began.
Hunter B-15 threw Sylvie the blade as you took down one of the hunters, quickly making your way to Loki who pulled you into a rough, desperate hug.
“Y/N.” He sighed, resting his cheek on your head.
“Nice to see you again.” You muttered against his chest.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t want to leave you, I just,” before he could continue you heard Sylvie shout,
“I hate to break up the reunion but we have a situation.” You smiled at Loki before you darted around him and began battling one of the hunters, Loki dealing with one in front of him.
“Here!” Sylvie yelled, throwing her dagger to Loki and picking up a baton. You watched her, from the corner of your eye, go to the judge. Just as you took down another hunter you saw Sylvie pinned down by Renslayer and moved quickly to kick her off before you were fighting somebody else, back to back with Loki.
“We make quite a team.” He tells you with a smile on his face.
“We really do.” You said fondly, remembering all the battles you’d fought together, knowing the others moves even before they did. You were a fierce duo.
It felt good to be fighting with Loki again.
Finally all the hunters were killed and Sylvie was quick to kill one timekeeper, the three of you watched her pick up his head seeing severed wires sparking.
“Fake?” You asked, staring down at the technology.
“Mindless androids.” Sylvie spat, looking at the remaining two.
“It never stops.” Loki said looking defeated. “Then who created the TVA?”
“I thought this was it.” Sylvie admitted, she too looked crushed, she had waited years and years for this moment and this was it.
You watched as Loki looked around clearly thinking of something, someway to get you all out of this.
“Sylvie.” He began but she quickly cut him off.
“Please not another pep talk.” She pleaded, causing you to laugh despite the situation.
“No, I have to tell you something. We’ll figure this out.” He said, moving to stand in front of her and he sounded so convinced you believed him.
“How do you know that?” She asked, clearly losing hope.
“Because, well, back on Lamentis.” He began but cut himself off, looking at you. You smiled at him encouragingly causing him to smile and take a deep breath, “This is new for me,”
“What, what is it?”
Before he could answer, his body started to disappear and in his place stood Renslayer holding the pruning device.
“No!” You yelled moving forward to attack her, you snatched the device from her hands, quickly moving and in seconds you had her pinned down with the device to her neck.
“Start talking.” You spat out, tears falling down your face.
________
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