I Didnt Know How Much I Liked University Au Before Reading This - Tumblr Posts

2 years ago

Sorry, I Love You ~ Felix

"Felix is your friend with benefits. Your arrangement is perfect since both of you are too busy for anything more. But when the lines start to blur between lust and love, will you be able to navigate your own feelings before one of you gets hurt?"

All In ~ OT8 (university!au) series : Part Two

Sorry, I Love You ~ Felix
Sorry, I Love You ~ Felix
Sorry, I Love You ~ Felix

Pairing: Felix x fem!reader

Word Count: 17k

Genre: 18+ University AU | Fluff | LOTS of angst | SMUT | Established friendship with OT8 | Established friends with benefits with Felix | Friends with benefits to lovers | Possessive/Jealous Felix |

Content Warnings: Mature contents, MINORS DO NOT INTERACT 18+ | Alcohol consumption | Cursing/swearing | Dry Humping/Grinding/Straddling | pet names (use of Darling, Handsome etc) | LOTS of Angst | Detailed makeout scenes | Moaning/groaning | Descriptions of male genitalia | Possessive and Jealous Felix | Mentions of Intercourse | Friends with Benefits arrangement (Felix and Y/N) | Arguments | Mentions of cigarettes (Felix is an avid smoker) | Moments of commitment issues | Moments of vulnerability | Major blue balls for Felix (soz not soz) (Let me know if I missed anything) This part will not make much sense unless the parts before are read, as events and character dynamics shift and overlap in each part. Ensure you're caught up here.

A/N: THANK YOU FOR BEING PATIENT I KNOW IT TOOK FOREVER AND IM SO SORRY!! This is my first time writing anything this smutty so please give me your feedback, but go easy on me 😅 I hope you're all well and are liking the series so far! Chan x Y/N for Part Three!!

It was late into a Sunday night, and you were sat at the dining room table, books and notes scattered across it underneath you. Your dining room table had been perfectly divided down the middle, your notes and books on the side you were sitting at, and your roommate’s belongings scattered across the other. You’d been here for the past few hours studying, trying to wrap your brain around a code sequence you needed for your assignment.

You had always wanted to be a game designer/developer ever since you were a kid, and you missed the naivety of the child version of yourself that thought the process to creating video games was a lot simpler than it really was.

The truth was you were more talented in character design, world creation and the graphics side of video games, coding had never really been your strong suit, but alas it was needed to get the job done.

You hadn’t realised you’d begun to drift to sleep amongst your notes until a knock came from your dorm door snapping you away from your drowsiness.

You scrunched your face and glanced to the clock hanging on the kitchen wall. It read 10:23PM.

You wondered who would be knocking on your dorm door this late, your roommate had texted you only a few moments ago to say she was staying at Jeongin’s dorm, so it couldn’t be her.

Crime was basically non-existent on your campus, so you felt safe enough to answer the door. You stood from your chair at the dining room table and walked across the living room to open the door.

You unlocked the door and swung it open to see Felix smiling at you nervously, his skin illuminating from the hallway lights, his blondish silver looking hair was half up in a manbun and his round glasses were nestled upon his nose and amongst his freckles.

Every time you saw Felix you wondered how he could put barely any effort into his appearance and yet look so handsome every single time. He was wearing baggy grey sweatpants and a simple black t-shirt that hung loosely over his muscular figure, a pair of black canvas styled shoes were on his feet and his backpack was slung over one shoulder.

His sudden arrival meant one thing as per your agreement and your mouth watered at the thought of it.

Felix was your classmate turned friend with benefits. Your situationship as your roommate liked to call it, had started around ten months ago. You had both started studying at this campus a year and a few months ago and you were now a few months into your second year of your four year double majored degree in Game Development and Game Design. Something you had in common with Felix.

You and Felix had bonded over similar interests during the icebreaker introductions during the first few days of classes and became close friends straight away. Four months into your friendship with Felix and in drunken state at a 3Racha dorm party, you had found yourself in bed the next morning with Felix curled up into your side and both of you completely naked.

Neither of you could deny your attraction to one another, but both agreed your study came first and that there was no time for anything more and no need to complicate things more than they needed to be. Therefore, creating the arrangement that led Felix to be standing at your door tonight. Lust and nothing more.

“Hey Lixie.” You smiled mischievously opening the door wider in a welcoming manner, begging him to step into your dorm.

Instead of walking past you and into your dorm like you had offered, Felix gave you a smirk as he took in your flustered appearance by his abrupt arrival and walked up to you, pulling you into his arms for a warm hug.

He wrapped his arms over the tops of your shoulders, nestling his face into the side of your head and into your hair. You felt him breath in your scent and as he exhaled, he breathed out a soft and airy sounding, “hey darling.”

You buried your face into his chest thankful he had decided to show up unannounced. You took this moment to breathe in his scent like he had just done to you, he smelled how he normally did, hints of freshly squeezed lemon and fully bloomed orange blossoms that had been drifting in the sea breeze.

Over his usual scent you smelt the powerful scent of unmistakeable cigarette smoke attached to his clothes, indicating he must have had one on the way over to yours. You should hate the smell, but the scent of cigarette’s added to his charm and the smell had now become of comfort to you.

You loved and hated how much you enjoyed Felix’s sudden presence.

It wasn’t meant to be this way; you had initially agreed to organise days to meet up when needing to release stress or one of you just wanted some fun. As time progressed and you became more comfortable around each other, it turned to hurried text messages letting the other know you were on the way or both of you would just head back to one of your dorms after hanging out with your shared friend group.

You felt him shuffle with you still tightly held in his arms, pulling you further into your dorm and shutting the door behind you both. You tried to wriggle out of his grasp to walk yourself, but he just squeezed you tighter and with his deep voice whispered through your hair near your ear, “no, let me hold you.”

You giggled against his chest, as you stumbled trying to keep in sync with where Felix was trying to maneuverer you both. You heard Felix shrug off his backpack, and he let out a defeated laugh. Felix gave up on his plans to stumble to your bedroom and you felt the world flip as he holstered you up bridal style to carry you the rest of the way.

Felix placed you down onto your back on the bed and climbed over your figure, trapping you in place under him with his arms on either side of your head and his legs either side of your hips. You heard his shoes clatter to the ground, and he paused looking at you for a moment to take off his glasses and place them on the side table next to your bed.

He looked down at you with a smirk, his eyes shining through the dark as the only light in the room was the streaks of the living room light glowing softly into your bedroom.

“So, what brings you here tonight Lix, how can I be of service?” You asked giving him a seductive smile, reaching up to tuck a strand of his fluffy hair out of his eye and behind his ear.

His smile grew fonder at your actions, and he leaned down to press a kiss into the very tip of your nose.

“Honestly, I missed you and I didn’t want you to be alone tonight.” He admitted continuing to press kisses over your face but avoiding your lips.

“Aren’t you a gentleman.” You winked up at him causing him to huff out a small chuckle at your flirtatiousness.

“Someone is eager tonight.” Felix commented moving his position down to rest on his elbows bringing his face closer to yours.

You leaned up from the bed and pressed your lips against Felix’s, too impatient to wait any longer. You kissed him slowly and he responded instantly against you, bringing one of his hands down to your side and pressing his fingers gentling into the skin that was poking out between your pyjama top and shorts.

His lips were soft despite a few cracks here and there and they moved expertly with yours from the months of practice. A warm feeling spread through you, and you felt the familiar feeling of want and lust growing, but before you could get carried away, Felix pulled away breaking the kiss.

Felix pressed another kiss to your nose ignoring your confused gaze as he rolled off you to lay beside you on his back and used his hand on your side to pull you into him for a cuddle.

“Is it okay if we don’t do anything tonight?” Felix asked shyly after a few moments had passed by and you hadn’t spoken or tried to do anything else.

You turned your head and looked up at him, getting comfortable against him by draping an arm over his chest and entangling a leg over his thigh and through his legs.

“Of course,” You quickly clarified with, “Although, you know that’s not really what our arrangement is for.”

“Why not?” Felix asked looking down to meet your gaze, his cheeks were slightly flushed as if the conversation was making him slightly nervous, “We are friends with benefits, aren’t we? These are benefits.”

You giggled at his explanation and if you were being honest, he wasn’t wrong, but he knew why this wasn’t a part of the arrangement.

Neither of you could deny the attraction you had for one another. This was one of the main reasons you had strict rules with the arrangement. You both wanted to make sure that the line between lust and love was clear and no boundaries were being crossed, to not complicate anything.

The rules being: 1. NO CATCHING FEELINGS

This was a big one, it wasn’t just your friendship on the line, you were also classmates and shared the same circle of friends. It was bad enough you had already crossed the line of being intimate with each other the last thing you needed was falling in love with each other too.

2. SEX ONLY

This rule was clearly being broken tonight and if you were honest with yourself, it had been broken A LOT throughout your time with Felix, but you always tried to focus on what your situationship was really for.

3. NO ONE KNOWS

This rule was broken within the first 3 months of your arrangement, Hyunjin might have been a little traumatised when he came back to the dorm earlier than expected one day and it spread like wildfire throughout your friend group.

4. NO SLEEPING WITH OTHER PEOPLE

This was purely for safety reasons, although the idea of Felix being with anyone else did make you uncomfortable and it wouldn’t be a nice position to be put in.

Now that you thought about it, maybe your rules weren’t as strict as they were intended to be…

“You make a valid point, permission to cuddle granted.” You announced playfully snuggling into him closer.

At your words, Felix’s smile lit up his eyes and he pressed a long-wet kiss to your forehead as a thank you.

You both stayed tangled up in each other for a while in a comfortable silence, breathing deeply and slow, and you could feel your eyes growing heavier from the natural warmth Felix’s body was radiating.

“Darling, are you up to anything this Saturday night?” Felix asked suddenly while one of his hands reached up to lazily rake his fingers through your hair.

You thought for a moment, “Not that I can think of, why?”

“I was speaking to Chan tonight and they are having a 3Racha party.” Felix stated his voice was deeper now and you could tell sleep was clawing at him too.

“hmm” You hummed thinking back to previous 3Racha parties, to your first night with Felix, the night you danced on top of 3Racha’s kitchen bench completely wasted with Chan’s girlfriend and to all the other times you enjoyed relaxing, drinking with your closest friends. You smiled at the fond memories.

Felix sensed that you were beginning to drift off by your disconnection from the conversation, so he guided you up and under the covers and pressed another few kisses to your forehead.

Even though you were in and out of awareness, you were very aware of Felix pulling away from you completely and the bed dipping and then rising as he stood from the bed.

You let out a whine at his departure and he responded with a chuckle.

“I’m just making sure everything is locked up and turning the lights off.” He spoke to you warmly and you heard his footsteps exit your bedroom and disappear temporarily into the rest of the house before he re-entered your room that was now in complete darkness.

Felix had been here so many times, he didn’t even need to see to make it back to your side tucked underneath the blankets with you wrapped up in his arms. You felt Felix’s skin under your hand that rested on his chest. His shirt must have been discarded before he climbed back into bed and the warmth that was seeping out of him into your skin was lulling you closer and closer to sleep.

“Sleep well darling.” Felix whispered lowly pressing a kiss to your lips that you wish had lasted longer.

“Night Lixie.” You murmured lightly, eyes closed and completely surrendering to your dreams.

Before you completely fell asleep, you couldn’t help but notice the slight tingle to your lips where Felix’s lips had just been and the warmth that wasn’t only hovering on your skin, but also lighting up your insides and most importantly your heart.

Sorry, I Love You ~ Felix

“Y/N…darling…wake up gorgeous.” Felix’s voice sounding like an angel calling from the heavens was whispering to you from beside you.

You slowly fluttered your eyes open waking up to Felix pressing kisses into your face and hair as you blinked the sleep away.

“There she is.” Felix smiled once he noticed you were awake and pressed a soft peck to your lips making you smile back at him sleepily.

“Morning.” You murmured back trying to burry your head into the crook of his neck, refusing to acknowledge reality and the fact you had classes soon.

“I thought I’d lost you to the Sandman for a second there.” Felix joked his fingers teasing the skin exposed between your pyjamas sending a shiver up your spine.

“I was having a good dream.” You mumbled into the skin of his neck as you pressed light kisses there.

“What were you dreaming about?” Felix asked his morning voice deep, grainy and charming, making you want to tell him all about your dream where the two of you were working at the same gaming company together and living out your dream careers.

“Wouldn’t you like to know.” You teased poking his side and raising your head to smirk down at him.

“That would be why I asked.” Felix quick witted back with a smirk of his own.

In response you simply poked out your tongue and pushed yourself away from him to a sitting position so you could stretch out the upper half of your body.

You felt Felix’s arms snake around your waist from behind as he sat up behind you and placed his face on your shoulder with a pout on his lips.

“I don’t want to go to classes today, let’s skip.” Felix suggested squeezing you tightly from behind and leaving a trail of kisses from the corner of your jaw to the top of your shoulders.

One thing you had learned quickly into your arrangement with Felix was how overly affectionate he was. It wasn’t a bad thing by any means, you loved the attention he gave you and it gave an aspect of thrill knowing you were the only one he treated like this, and it only ever occurred behind closed doors. Like it was a secret only you two knew of.

“Because no one will be suspicious if both of us are missing from class...” You trailed off rolling your eyes.

You hadn’t managed to keep the secret of your arrangement from your friend group, but you were thankful no one in your shared classes with Felix seemed to have picked up on the looks you two frequently shared, or the flirtatious comments Felix would often tease you with.

Felix let out a groan and dropped his entire body weight onto your back making you slump forward unprepared.

“Don’t make me goooo.” He pleaded pushing his weight onto you until you had no choice but to fall sideways to relieve the pressure.

You whined pushing him away from you playfully.

“You can do as you please Felix, but I am going to class.” With a final poke to Felix’s nose, you climbed out of bed heading into the shower to get ready for the day ahead.

A few minutes past and you began cleaning your skin, letting the warm water wake you up completely, when Felix poked his head into the bathroom.

“I’m going to head back to my dorm to get ready, if I’m not at the first class, I’ll see you at the second!” Felix shouted to you over the loud rushing of the water.

“See you then!” You yelled back letting the water hit the back of your neck to loosen the tension that had built in your shoulders from the previous night of studying.

“Bye darling!” Felix farewelled leaving you to shower. You could barely hear his footsteps leaving over the water, but you finally heard the apartment door shut announcing Felix’s exit.

For the first time in a while, as you stilled in place under the stream of water, you felt the warm water run cold. It was like you’d run out of warm water, but then it slowly dawned on you, the steam was still building around you in the shower stall. It wasn’t the warmth from the water that had abandoned you, it was the warmth you felt within you when Felix was around.

Sorry, I Love You ~ Felix

You got to class just on time, and you were surprised to see Felix was already there with a warm smile spreading across his cheeks as he watched you walk into the computer lab.

Although there was no assigned seating in this class, it didn’t stop everyone from naturally claiming their own spot within the class and Felix was quick to claim the two computers by the window for the two of you, glaring at anyone who tried to take the spot next to him that was unofficially reserved for you.

“I’m surprised to see you here.” You grinned at Felix while unloading your bag with what you needed for the class ahead.

Felix groaned at the sudden realisation class would be starting soon and he was here instead of tucked away in your bedroom, with you wrapped around him like you were the last two people on Earth.

“I need the attendance marks. I’m not worried about our group project, but the assignment we were given for coding is kicking my arse.” Felix complained resting his head onto the hand of his arm that was propped up on the desk.

You rolled forward on your desk chair to get closer to him, reaching out to playfully tousle his hair with your fingers, “At least you won’t fail it alone.”

A smile grew back over his lips, “You? Failing coding? What a shock.” Felix teased knowing full well you weren’t good with coding as the sarcasm dripped from his voice.

“Haha, you’re hilarious.” You rolled your eyes, “I am genuinely shocked you’re struggling too though, you’re normally extremely good with coding?” You questioned him with a raised brow, leaning back into your desk chair getting yourself comfortable by adjusting some of the settings from its previous user.

Felix copied your motions and settled himself into his desk chair and pondered your words before smirking, “Maybe I’m just too distracted these days.”

A laugh erupted out of you, drawing the attention of some of your classmates, bringing your awareness of your surroundings back to you. You covered your laugh with a cough and sent a half serious glare in Felix’s direction, not even bothering to respond to him.

Your professor came to begin the class not long after, asking you to split up into your selected groups for the group project and use this class time to work on it.

You had been put into a group with Felix and two others from your class. One being a very timid, but kind girl with shoulder length black hair and round glasses concealing most of her face.

The other being the class clown, a stocky looking guy who could potentially give Changbin a run for his money in an arm wrestle. You often wondered why he even took this as his major when he spent most of the time making untasteful jokes at the expense of your other classmates.

The four of you were sat around the desks off to the side of the room away from the computers and all of you had your laptops out in front of you.

Your group project was to create a video game idea, including examples of how it would look, the setting, the storyline and some clips of completed animation for the game. Your group would then need to present it to the class and sell it to them. It was worth 50% of your grade so you were all taking it very seriously, well most of you.

Felix was hurriedly typing away on his laptop as he was doing some research for the setting of where your game would take place, gathering inspiration and writing notes on what he had found.

The timid girl in your group named Hana, was drawing on her electric artistry pad that was connected to her laptop, drawing out some character designs and working on some animation.

You were currently researching weaponry and armoury, creating a mood board of things you liked and comparing notes with Felix every now and again to make sure you were on the same track.

But then there was Yunseo the class clown. He was leaned back in his chair, large headset clogging his ears and you were almost certain he wasn’t doing the task he was assigned to, due the smirk plastered on his face.

You tried to ignore him, but when he began snickering you couldn’t hold yourself back any longer. Nothing annoyed you more than someone not pulling their weight in a group project, especially when it was 50% of your grades and he was just hoping to cruise along and put in barely any effort. Not on your watch.

“Something funny about coding?” You asked glaring across the table at Yunseo.

He didn’t even seem phased that you had caught him not doing his part and just casually moved his earphones down slightly, returning your glare with his own, still smirking like he found the situation amusing.

“I actually finished the code a while ago.” He said with confidence leaning back further in his chair and crossing his arms over his chest to symbolise you weren’t intimidating him at all.

You gritted your teeth in annoyance and closed your laptop in front of you to show him you weren’t messing around.

This caught Felix and Hana’s attention, Felix looked between you both taking in your confrontation stances and Hana sunk back in her chair turning up the soft music she was listening to, trying not to get caught up in what was occurring.

“And you didn’t think to let us know? Or do something else more productive with your time?” You questioned annoyance clear in your tone as you copied his posture, crossing your own arms across your chest, showing him you weren’t backing down.

He scoffed and rolled his eyes at you, “Who are you, my mother?”

The lack of respect he had for you and the other members of your group was evident, but if he thought he could get away with treating you all like shit and getting you all to do the work for him, he was wrong.

“If I was, I’d be disappointed to have a son like you.” You effortlessly spat, fixing your glare like you had fire raging in your eyes. You were pissed. You had spent enough time in the gaming industry or even the gaming community to know the underling sexism that radiated out of too many people to count. Yunseo’s attitude toward you was only reminding you of that and igniting a fire within you.

You saw anger rage behind Yunseo’s eyes, and he moved forward slowly, but powerfully as he stared you down, trying to intimidate you into submission with his gaze, but you weren’t budging.

“Who the fuck do you think you are?” He basically growled at you, gripping the table in front of him tightly like he was trying to calm himself down.

You felt Felix stiffen next you and his gaze looked straight ahead not even looking in Yunseo’s direction.

“Watch your fucking tone.” Felix spoke slowly and calmly, but his deep voice was stern and clearly warning Yunseo to back down.

Yunseo for the first time since you started the confrontation broke eye contact with you and changed his glare to Felix.

“Or what?” Yunseo taunted puckering his lips toward Felix.

You saw Felix snap his head in Yunseo’s direction and in a flash, he had risen to his feet to stand up to Yunseo who also stood.

Hana let out a shriek and you jumped up getting in between Felix and Yunseo, facing Felix.

Although Yunseo was a strong looking guy, you weren’t worried about Felix getting injured, he’d done taekwondo for twelve years, he was more than capable of taking care of himself during a fight. It was more the watchful eye that the professor was sending over to your group that was concerning you.

You grabbed onto Felix’s wrist firmly trying to ground him, “Felix, calm down” you tried to speak softly trying not to alert anyone else of what was going on.

You felt Yunseo’s breath hit the back of your neck and you froze with eyes growing wide at how close he was, and you felt Felix react to his closeness, feeling his muscles contract under your grasp. Felix’s eyes were still fixed on the man behind you, and he moved right up into you in a protective way, glaring over you.

“Felix.” You hissed opting to instead drag him out of the room and away from the situation.

Yunseo held his cocky smirk but didn’t say anything further while he held eye contact with Felix as you tugged him away and out of view.

Once you were out of site and around the side of the building you let go of Felix’s wrist and let out a sigh turning to face him, but before you could say anything Felix rushed over to you with a concerned look on his face.

He took your face into his hands and caressed you gently while he scanned over you, “Are you okay? He’s such a jerk.”

Your eyes widened at Felix’s sudden shift in demeanour. He was ready to kill Yunseo inside or at the bare minimum beat the shit out of him, but now he was back to the usual Felix you knew, soft and caring.

“Felix, I’m fine, I’ve dealt with worse.” You reassured him, reaching up and grasping his hands pulling them away from your face.

He frowned at you in response, and you saw his composure come back to him as he relaxed his shoulders.

“That guy is such a dick.” Felix cursed rocking his head side to side in annoyance like he was trying to stretch the muscle there and couldn’t.

You let out another sign and leaned up against the building wall with your back to it.

“Yes, but you didn’t have to go all psycho on him, I was handling it.” You crossed your arms across your chest again but this time it was in a relaxed way.

You weren’t annoyed that Felix had defended you back there, it was actually quite attractive watching Felix’s devotion for you as he defended your honour. The truth was you had always stuck to your independence, not wanting anyone to feel like they needed to protect you, you wanted to be your own knight in shining armour.

Felix arched an eyebrow at you and came over to you placing a hand on the wall either side of you, like he had done the previous night in your room. It made your stomach erupt with butterflies as he ducked his head down low to look deeply into your eyes.

“You’re right, I didn’t have to act like that.” He agreed placing a quick peck to your nose before continuing, “But I wanted to. No one and I mean no one, gets to talk to you like that- especially in front of me.”

You audibly swallowed the saliva that had pooled in your mouth at his words and tried to push away the fluttering within you. What was Felix doing to you? It was as if he had gone rogue on your arrangement, the lines were beginning to blur, and your fight or flight was kicking in.

You ducked under Felix’s right arm, escaping the position he had you in against the wall and put some distance between you.

“For what it’s worth, thank you Lix.” You said eyes looking at the ground as you shifted nervously, “But you know how I feel about our classmates knowing what’s going on, next time I’ve got it, okay?”

You saw Felix’s composure falter for a second, but he covered it almost instantly, leaning himself back against the wall, arms crossed as you had been a moment ago.

Felix nodded before looking away from you and off into the distance.

“Do you mind grabbing my stuff? I can’t be in class with that dickhead right now.” Felix asked scratching the back of his head with a sheepish grin, a habit he had adapted when he felt guilty.

“Sure.” You nodded turning to head back to class.

You paused in place. You felt awkward leaving things like this, and you didn’t want Felix to think you were mad at him, so you turned and skipped over to Felix pressing a kiss into his check whispering in his ear, “It was really hot though.”

With that you left a gobsmacked Felix leant up against the wall as you hurried off to go and collect his things.

When you returned to the computer lab, Yunseo was gone and Hana was sitting alone at the table, head centimetres away from her electronic sketchpad finishing off an animation she was working on.

“Looks great so far Hana!” You complimented as you began to gather Felix’s and your things, deciding you didn’t want to be in class anymore either.

Hana jumped a little, having been too absorbed in her drawing to notice you approach the table at all.

“Thanks.” She mumbled shyly giving you a quick glance before continuing her drawing.

“We’re heading out for the day; Yunseo has ruined our mood. Felix and I will make sure to send you what we worked on today.” You explained to Hana as you swung your bag over your shoulder and held Felix’s in your other hand.

Hana nodded, looking up from her sketchpad to address you, “Yunseo and Professor Choi had an argument and Yunseo stormed off.”

You let out a sigh and used your spare hand to gently squeeze Hana’s shoulder, “Don’t worry about it, I’ll sort Yunseo out another time and get him back on track. Just focus on what you need to do, and Felix and I will deal with the rest.” You gave her a smile trying to reassure her as much as you were trying to reassure yourself.

“Okay.” She replied, “See you.”

You quickly exchanged goodbyes with Hana and headed out of the door with the stuff you had collected, trying not to make Felix wait too long.

Felix seemed surprised as he saw you round the corner with not only his backpack, but your study bag and raised an eyebrow at you. He had sparked up a cigarette since you left him and was breathing out a puff of smoke as you extended his backpack to him.

“Want to get some breakfast and act like this morning hasn’t happened?” You asked him, shrugging casually.

Felix grinned warmly at you and took a long drag of the cigarette between his fingers, before blowing the smoke in your direction teasingly.

Anyone else would be offended by the action, but Felix knew regardless of how much you criticized him for his unhealthy habit, you found it extremely attractive.

You scrunched your nose and pouted as the harsh scent of cigarette smoke slapped your nose.

“Sure darling, my shout.” Felix agreed to your suggestion, throwing the last of his cigarette on the floor and stamping it out with his shoe.

Felix took in your pouty expression from him smoking and reached out pinching your cheeks inward with one hand to push your pout out further to which he pressed his lips against yours briefly.

“I promise I’ll ditch the cigs eventually.” He smirked giving you a wink to which you rolled your eyes and pulled your head away from his grip.

“Whatever, let’s go before I change my mind.” You huffed heading off into the direction of your group’s local coffee shop hangout with Felix falling into step beside you.

Sorry, I Love You ~ Felix

The week had flown by quickly and you’d spent most of your time working on the group project or trying to finish your coding assignment.

You had learned that Yunseo was chatted by the professor that day for his poor behaviour and was told if he didn’t fix things and prove he did his part of the assignment to the best of his ability, he risked failing the unit and having to repeat it next term. Ever since that day he had suddenly become more enthusiastic to participate.

It was now Friday night, the night before the 3Racha dorm party and you were currently curled up on your bed with Felix watching a K-Drama he had recommended, on your mini projector for your weekly Netflix and chill night.

Your Netflix and chill nights were never fixed to one certain day, but they had to occur at least once per week, and they were used to relieve your stress from the week through each other.

By the end of whatever you were watching Felix normally had his hands down your pants and his lips pressing scorching kisses into your neck and sometimes you didn’t even make it to the end of what you were watching.

Your roommate was over at Hyunjin’s dorm having a study night for their shared classes, so you took the opportunity of an empty dorm to hold your usual hangout with Felix.

Tonight, felt oddly different. Felix had his arms wrapped around you protectively, one of his hands was caressing the back of your head and was gently stroking your hair. Occasionally he would press a light kiss into your hair, normally when you let out a giggle at something on the screen or when you hummed in content- a reaction to how fuzzy his hand in your hair was making you feel.

You had your arms wrapped around his waist and you were clinging to his side, fingers toying with the band of his black sweatpants, but you had no desire to pull them off, rather you found comfort in moving your fingertips to graze over the skin of his hip, earning another light kiss from Felix every time you did.

“Are you still going to the party tomorrow night?” Felix asked out of the blue as the episode came to an end, displaying the next episode beginning in ten seconds’ screen.

“Yeah, it’ll be good to see everyone, I haven’t seen a lot of the gang in forever.” You exclaimed pulling your head back from his chest to look up at him as you spoke.

“Let me know if it gets too much, I don’t mind coming back here with you and hanging.” Felix informed you, his hand that was stroking your hair moving down to trail his thumb from your temple to your lips.

His finger was surprisingly soft as he traced your bottom lip staring intently at his finger gliding across it.

“You don’t have to leave the party just because of me.” You stated looking up at him with doe eyes, “It’s not your job to make sure I’m comfortable in social settings.”

Felix’s features contorted momentarily, and his thumb’s movement stilled at your words and then dropped from your face to land on your hip.

“Yeah. I guess.” Felix mumbled looking back to the projector screen on the wall of your bedroom as the next episode begun.

Your gaze lingered on Felix. You weren’t oblivious and no matter how much you tried to convince yourself it wasn’t the case; things were shifting in your arrangement. Normally by now Felix would have made a move to initiate what your arrangement was for, but he hadn’t so much as groped you or even at the bare minimum looked at you with lusting eyes.

Was Felix regretting crossing the line from friends to friends with benefits? Had he wished you’d remained just friends? Did he not want to have sex with you anymore?

There was only one way to find out.

You moved your hand down to Felix’s arm that was resting over your stomach- the arm of the hand on your hip and began delicately dragging your fingertips up and down his arm causing goosebumps to appear.

You heard Felix suck in a sharp breath as he became aware of your actions, however his eyes remained trained on the projector screen ahead of you watching the new episode that had begun to play.

When you failed to get Felix’s attention, you let your fingertips glide up his arm, trailing over the bumps of his muscles and veins all the way up to his neck where you drew circles eliciting deep breaths from Felix as he tried his hardest to keep his eyes on the projector.

You narrowed your eyes at him. Why was he trying to resist you? He knew he didn’t have to hold himself back, that on nights like these you were at his beck and call- to have you whenever he wanted. All he had to do was respond or initiate it and you were his.

You leaned up to his ear, ghosting your lips over his cheek before whispering in the most seductive tone you could muster, “I want you, Felix.”

As soon as your words left your lips, Felix sprung up out of your bed and away from your touch like you had just shocked him with an electric current.

“…Y/N…I…” Felix stammered looking around the room but refusing to make eye contact with you as he tried to find the words he wanted to say.

His cheeks were brightly flushed, and now that he was standing in front of you, you could see the strain in his pants where his erection was pleading to be freed. If he wanted you, why was he resisting you?

Your curiosity was gnawing at you, begging you to find out why Felix was acting so differently from how he normally acted. You hated making Felix uncomfortable and you didn’t want to make the situation any worse, but you desperately needed to know what the hell was going on with him.

“Okay, what the hell is going on Felix?” You asked genuinely concerned over his behaviour.

He had been so physically affectionate with you at the start of this week, even going as far to publicly defend you when Yunseo had argued with you and yet now, he was jumping away from you the moment you tried to be intimate. None of it made sense.

“Nothing is going on.” He quickly breathed out, walking over to your dressing cabinet and putting away your folded laundry like it was something that needed to be done in this exact moment.

Your eyes followed him around the room as he moved, “Bullshit, what have I done?” You demanded refusing to believe that nothing was bothering him.

Felix quickly turned himself back to face you, waving his hand dismissively to your remarks, “No, no! You haven’t done anything!” He hurriedly clarified as if the thought of you thinking you had done something wrong was absurd.

You didn’t believe him that you hadn’t done anything, why else would he be acting this way, but you also didn’t want to press him if he wasn’t ready to talk about it.

Felix could tell you didn’t believe what he said, so he let out a breath he didn’t realise he was holding and came back to sit next to you, taking your hand in his, holding onto it ever so gently and rubbing his thumb over the back of your hand soothingly.

“It’s not that I don’t want you, I always want you.” Felix tried to explain still refusing to meet your eyes, “But I also really enjoy just being your friend and hanging out with you.”

There it was all your fears were answered and it was just as you had expected. He was having second thoughts about your arrangement. You felt your stomach fall.

You pulled your hand slowly out of Felix’s touch, suddenly feeling like it no longer belonged in his hand and Felix finally looked at you to see hurt and disappointment on your face.

“Only sometimes.” He tried to further explain, “And this isn’t me calling off our arrangement!” He was searching desperately for the right words as he watched you recoil from his side uncomfortably.

“Then what are you doing? I don’t understand.” You asked bringing your knees up to your chest resting your back on the headboard, so you were physically the farthest away from Felix on the bed.

“I’m saying, I know our rule is only sex, but sometimes I just want to hold you and drift off to sleep or shower you in affection that isn’t sexual.” Felix tried his hardest to make you understand what he was saying, and you finally understood what he meant.

Was Felix that afraid of commitment? He knows what this means surely? He was asking for more out of your arrangement, something that would blur the lines more than they had already been.

“Friends don’t do that sort of stuff Felix.” You muttered over your arms where your chin rested on them above your knees.

“We aren’t just friends though darling; we are friends with benefits. I’m just asking for more benefits.” Felix suggested crawling on the bed to sit right in front of you, giving you nowhere to run.

You looked into his eyes, and you could see the sincerity there, he really wanted you to agree with this, but you weren’t completely satisfied with these upgrades to your arrangement. Felix was basically asking you to do things that a girlfriend would do, without the title girlfriend, without the reassurance a girlfriend has and without the devotion of love.

It was a huge thing for him to ask of you, especially when he knew how adamant you were at the start of your arrangement with this only being about sex. You didn’t want one of you to get hurt, but here you were hurting, because you had just realised you wanted to be Lee Felix’s girlfriend and he just wanted to be your friend with benefits.

You looked away from him as you felt your heart twist upon the realisation of your feelings and blinked away the tears that were beginning to prick behind your eyes.

Felix noticed your shift in demeanour, he always did and placed his hands softly onto the outer parts of your shoulder’s rubbing soothingly like he had done earlier with his thumb on your hand.

“Hey, look at me, darling.” One of his hands left your shoulder to gently tilt your chin in his direction, making you look into his eyes once more. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have brought it up.” Felix apologised and you shook your head, he didn’t need to apologise for his lack of feelings.

“No, it’s okay, I’m okay.” You tried to reassure him by opening your posture to him and letting your knees and arms fall from their closed off stance. You reached out wrapping your hands around the back of his neck and you shifted yourself from your sitting position to climb into his lap and straddle him.

Felix’s hands instinctively fell to your waist holding you against him and he pressed a kiss into your cheek hesitantly like he wasn’t sure if he was allowed to do so anymore.

“We can do that, if that’s what you want.” You finally said voice light and Felix seemed unhappy with your answer.

His hands left your hips and moved upward to cup your face delicately in his hands, so you were forced again to look into his eyes.

“I only want it, if it’s something you want to do.” He said honestly and this time you believed what he told you, “If you want this to just be sex, then we can do that. I just thought that sometimes when one of us isn’t feeling up to it, we can still hang out and be around each other, because the truth is I love spending time with you and just chatting with you.”

You didn’t know how to talk to him about your concerns, about how if you hung out together like you had the other night then you weren’t just friends with benefits and you weren’t just friends either, doing those things meant something to you.

It wasn’t just somebody kissing you or holding you because it felt nice. It was Felix kissing you and holding you and it made you feel something. You no longer wanted to be just his friend or just his friends with benefits, when the benefits were more intimate than just casual sex.

Regardless of what he said about wanting what you wanted, you knew he didn’t have the feelings that you had, and you could see in his eyes he really did want to be able to cuddle you and hang with you even if no sex was involved. You could never say no to him and secretly despite your concerns about getting hurt more than you were already starting to, it also excited you to know you’d be able to spend even more time with Felix.

You leaned into his touch and gently slotted your lips against his, feeling his lips morph into a smile as he kissed you back, using his hands on your cheeks to deepen the kiss and take control of it.

He kissed you so slowly and passionately that you were taken by surprise, almost letting a gasp escape your lips. Felix kissed you as if he was trying to show you how happy it would make him for you to agree to his suggestion and how grateful he would be as a result.

You felt Felix’s tongue glide over where your lips met, but before he could deepen the kiss further you pulled away to look at him. His lips were puffy and swollen from the kiss and his eyes scanned your face trying to decipher your feelings, but you made sure to mask them and appear happy about your new arrangement which you were just about to agree too.

“I want to make sure I have this right.” You spoke up shuffling slightly, so you were sat fully in his lap, ignoring the half hard erection underneath you that you were now sitting on. “You want us to extend our friends with benefits, so that the only benefit isn’t just sex, but also hanging out cuddling and sleeping over?”

Felix nodded and bit the bottom of his lip nervously as he patiently waited for your answer.

You sucked in a deep breath, knowing full well this was only going to hurt you more in the long run, but your fear of Felix finding someone else he could do everything he wanted with, who didn’t care about titles or commitment scared you more than getting hurt did.

“We might need to update our rules then.” You stated with a nervous giggle.

Felix’s deep-toned chuckle caused his body to vibrate under your touch and he looked at you fondly.

“I barely even remember our rules to be honest, I’ve just been going with the flow.” Felix laughed moving his hands back down to your waist and resting them there comfortably.

“Let’s make them easier to remember this time.” You laughed along with him before stating your new rules, “No catching feelings, no sleeping with other people, keep it out of the classroom and only do what we are both comfortable with.”

Felix thought over the rules you had listed, and you almost thought he was going to disagree with you, but he slowly nodded and muttered out a “sounds good to me” before he pulled you into a tight comforting hug.

You melted into his hold and closed your eyes. You didn’t know how you were going to ignore the feelings starting to wrap themselves around your heart, but you were willing to try if that meant keeping Felix and the situationship you had built.

You blinked away the sleep from your eyes and let out a curse as you were met with the blinding flash of sunlight peeking through your bedroom blinds.

You had spent the rest of your Friday night finishing the season of the k-drama Felix and you had started, while cuddling into each other and drifting to sleep in a similar position.

Felix was still sound asleep next to you, your legs tangled up with his and his hand was outstretched towards you, as if he was trying to reach for you in his sleep.

You held back a coo that rose in your throat at the peaceful and adorable pouty face, sleeping Felix was making.

Once you had agreed to being intimate in other ways when sex wasn’t needed, Felix had attached himself to you, even following you into the kitchen to stay near you when you cooked the two of you dinner.

You definitely didn’t hate having Felix with you constantly, in fact you enjoyed it more than you should, but having him around and being so loving toward you, didn’t help your overpowering feelings for him.

You watched, captivated by the slow rise and fall of his chest and the soft whimpers that filtered out from between his pillowy lips.

His nose scrunched up as a strand of his silvery blonde hair tickled the tip of his nose and you reached out to move it out of his face affectionately.

Felix shuffled in his sleep and inched closer to you on the bed, still reaching out in your direction like his sleeping form could sense you there.

It startled you when you heard a faint slurry “Y/N” come from a sleepy Felix and his eyes were now half opened looking at you and still reaching for you.

You reached out in return, capturing his hand in yours and tucked him under the blankets more. He responded by nuzzling into the sheets and your pillow, his eyes fluttering closed once more, and it was hard to tell if he had even properly woken up when he called your name.

“Shh, sleep Lix.” You cooed letting go of his hand tucking it underneath the sheet with the rest of him and leaving a loving kiss to his forehead.

Felix hummed sleepily and once you heard his slow deep breaths return, you carefully removed yourself from the bed, convinced Felix had drifted back to sleep.

You walked into your bathroom, turning the tap on at your sink and begun splashing cool water into your face, trying to wake yourself up further.

Staring at your reflection you wondered how you had gotten yourself here. You were falling for your fuck buddy, you were breaking rule number one and there was nothing you could do about your feelings, beside ignore them and suppress them.

How successful could you really be with ignoring them or suppressing them? You had just spent another night with Felix doing everything intimate besides the one thing you originally agreed on, sex.

You needed to clear your head and focus on something else.

You decided that you hadn’t gone for a morning run in a long time and you hoped that the cool fresh morning air would bring some clarity on what to do in your situation.

Slipping quietly back into your bedroom, you grabbed your exercise leggings, a tank top and your sports bra and tip toed back out into the bathroom to get changed, managing not to disturb the sleeping boy in your bed.

Once you had gotten changed, you threw your hair up into a tight ponytail and went into the living room to put on your socks and your sneakers that were left by the front door.

You jogged your way out of your dorm complex and begun a slow run in the direction of the campus park.

The campus park was beautiful.

The centre of the park was a large, beautiful lake, that was home for ducks, lake fish and sometimes you were lucky enough to see the occasional swan. There was a bridge that went from the east side to the west side of the lake in case you were merely just passing through and needing a faster route, but the campus park wasn’t somewhere you hurried through. 

The lake was surrounded by grassed areas, gardens full of blooming flowers, park benches and even off to the south side was a gazebo, which was famous for on campus proposals of the young and in love.

The campus park otherwise known as Lake Tranquil, was exactly that. Peaceful, breath taking and relaxing. It was the go-to place for majority of students to study and was just genuinely loved by all.

Art majors loved to come here for painting, photography and sketching. Music majors came for inspiration for songs or tracks. Hell, you had even seen some of the law students down here basking in the sunlight by the lake, shaking the stress away from mid-semester exams.

You often came to Lake Tranquil on your runs, as well as most of the students on campus.

Breathing in the fresh lake scented air, standing on the middle of the bridge to appreciate the scenery and picking a flower to put by your bed side- which was definitely not allowed, but no one ever stopped you- were some of your favourite things to do when you passed through.

Suddenly you felt yourself crash into a hard moving object and you clattered to the grass covered ground below you with a yelp. You ripped your ear buds from your ears to hear what the person above you was saying.

“Oh my god! Y/N, are you okay?” Minho’s startled voice asked confirming he was what you had run into.

You looked up at him cupping your hand over your forehead to block away the sun denying your vision. Minho stood bent at the waist, holding a hand outward to you in an offer of helping you back to your feet and a concerned look apparent on his features.

You let out an awkward laugh, embarrassed that you weren’t paying attention to your surroundings and had run straight into one of your and Felix’s close friends.

You placed your hand in his and let him pull you back onto your feet.

“Sorry about that Min! Yeah, I’m okay, you didn’t get hurt, did you?” You asked while brushing off the combination of dirt and grass that had attached to the fabric of your leggings.

Minho shook his head in response to your question and then raised an eyebrow at you, “Where have you been hiding, it’s been far too long since I’ve seen you!” Minho questioned you.

He was observing your face intricately with a smug expression on his features, like he secretly knew what had been keeping you away from the friend group, but wanted to hear you admit it.

“Classes, assignments, homework…you know the usual.” You shrugged avoiding mentioning the main distraction from your friends.

Minho breathed out a chuckle and then bit his lip, like he was trying to physically hold himself back from speaking out what he wanted, but he did it anyway, “Not some guy around this tall, blondish silver hair, ‘I don’t care for relationships, but I’m a simp for Y/N’ type of attitude and conveniently also been missing from the friend group, distracting you from hanging with your friends?”

Minho held his hand up to just below his own height going along with the bit, his smug expression not faltering for a second as your cheeks burned with embarrassment.

You weren’t embarrassed by your arrangement with Felix, you weren’t even embarrassed by Minho talking about you and Felix spending too much time with each other. You were embarrassed by the fact that Minho knew the effect Felix had on you, that you would discard everything just to spend time with Felix.

If he had noticed it, who else had?

“Well…yes I’ve been spending a bit more time with Felix, but that has nothing to do with the friend group, you know I love you guys!” You instinctively defended yourself crossing your arms across your chest in a defensive position and shifted uncomfortably under Minho’s teasing gaze.

“Hmm, if you say so.” Minho hummed in disagreement, “You going to the party tonight?” He asked changing the conversation at the awareness of your sudden demeanour shift.

You relaxed a little at the topic change, “Yeah, Lix invited me earlier in the week, you?”

“Yeah, heading over early to help the boys set up and by boys, I mean Chan because we all know the other two aren’t helping.” Minho chuckled before reaching into his pocket to pull out his phone, checking the notification he had just received. “I got to go, but put some time aside tonight for your friend group, yeah?”

You felt your cheeks-which had only just started losing their rosy-red colour- heat back up again at Minho’s reference to you spending too much time with Felix.

“Yeah, of course!” You responded as he threw a wave over his shoulder, already jogging away from you in the direction he was going before he bumped into you.

You watched Minho jog away into the distance and you couldn’t help a feeling of helplessness wash over you. Minho was always the type of person to speak in secret references or have a deeper meaning hidden amongst his words. Was he trying to tell you, that your feelings for Felix were obvious and if you weren’t ready to reveal them, you needed to do a better job at hiding them?

Did Felix know how you felt and that’s why he stopped wanting to have sex with you? Scared you’d take more out of the act than agreed upon?

You shook your head, expelling yourself from your spiralling thoughts and pushed your earbuds back into your ears, turning up the volume as loud as you could handle and began running again.

You ended up running around the entirety of Lake Tranquil, before you found yourself back in front of your dorm door, typing in the code and entering.

You could hear the distant sound of running water coming from the direction of your bathroom and your roommate’s bedroom door was wide open, with no trace of her return to the dorm, indicating it was still only you and Felix in the dorm.

As you approached the bathroom, you thought over what you were about to do and if it was a good idea or not.

You had showered with Felix plenty of times before, always starting out innocent, but eventually steaming up into some of the best sex you’d ever had as the water cascaded down both of your conjoined figures.

You knew that if you entered the shower with Felix, he would know what it means, but you were sweaty from your run and you were intrigued to find out if he would continue to try and resist you, even in a situation where you both knew sex was inevitable.

You entered the bathroom slowly, making sure not to be too obvious, wanting to sneak in with him. Felix’s figure could be seen through the fogged-up shower glass, standing under the water current with his back to you.

You hurriedly discarded your clothes, eyes not leaving Felix’s body as he began washing his hair and you moved forward to the shower glass.

As if he suddenly sensed your presence Felix turned around, your eyes meeting. His eyes were widened slightly in surprise, but as soon as they widened, they shifted and relaxed with desire filling over his brown orbs as he scanned his eyes down your completely naked figure.

“Good morning, Darling.” He breathed out emphasising on the good while the water slashed harshly at the back of his neck from his stilled position under the stream.

“Morning, Handsome.” You quipped back, sliding open the glass shower door and stepping into the shower in front of Felix.

His hands instantly reached for you, finding their home on your waist and pulling you flush into him as he attached his lips to yours in a heated kiss.

You moaned unexpectedly into his lips which caused a groan to slip out of his own lips as he took your bottom lip in between his teeth biting down gently but hungrily.

You wrapped your hands around to his back where you let your fingernails glide from the tops of his shoulder blades downward, leaving searing red marks in their trail that sent shivers down Felix’s spine.

Felix threw his head back with a gasp disconnecting your lips, an expression of pure ecstasy passing across his features. You smiled triumphantly as you felt his erection hard and big leaning up against where you were pressed into him.

His hands on your waist tightened as he gripped you firmly, pulling you forward and spinning you around until your back hit the shower wall with a soft thud.

As soon as your back hit the wall, Felix was all over you. It was like you had snapped a switch within him as his lips pressed over your collarbone, up your neck and around your earlobes, nibbling into the skin there leaving marks you know wouldn’t be able to be covered by makeup.

His hands travelled painfully slow up from your hips, tracing his fingertips delicately on the skin of your naked sides causing your heart to accelerate, and your breaths to come out as pants that formed into breathy moans.

Your hands moved to hold his biceps trying to ground yourself while the only emotion you could sense was want and desire for Felix, becoming overwhelming as you extended your neck back against the wall, giving Felix more access to it.

“I want you so bad.” Felix groaned, thrusting his hips against you and pushing himself further into your skin, if that was even possible.

His cock was red and angry pressed up against your lower stomach, trapped in between your two bodies. You didn’t need him to tell you that, you could sense in every essence of his being that he wanted you and you wanted him just as badly.

“I’m yours.” You moaned back at him in response, rolling your hips forward against him chasing any type of friction.

Your words seemed to trigger something in Felix as he froze marking your neck and focused on slowing his breathing down.

Felix pulled himself slowly away from you, clearly trying to relax himself as he put some distance between you.

As you looked over his panicked expression, you realised what you had just said. You idiot. It’s not like you hadn’t said the sentence before, but with Felix displaying commitment issues as of late, your choice of words was a huge mistake.

“Felix…I” You swallowed trying to slow your own heart beat down as you moved forward, your hand reaching out for his arm, trying to pull him from his head that he had disappeared into.

The second your hand touched Felix’s arm he retracted from your space and hurried out of the shower, grabbing his towel and making quick efforts to dry himself as quickly as possible.

“I forgot I had to help Chan with something before the party today, I’ve got to go.” Felix spoke almost emotionlessly as he dried himself off and began throwing his clothes on.

You stood stunned in place, fallen against the wall, your head hung low too ashamed to look up at him. You felt dirty, stupid and vulnerable.

Just like the last time you were in the shower with the departure of Felix, you felt the water grow cold and the slight breeze of the room was harshly reminding you of reality setting in.

Before Felix exited the bathroom, he glanced over at your slumped saddened self and frowned. He moved back over to the shower and reached a hand through the stream, avoiding the water getting on his clothes to pick up your hand in his.

He pulled you forward under the stream completely and through it to the other side, where you came face to face with him.

“I’m sorry, I’ll see you later, okay?” His voice was soft now, a hint of sadness to it and concern.

You couldn’t find your voice, so you opted a simple nod, eyes still refusing to leave the tiled floor of the shower.

You felt him squeeze your hand in his and his lips pressed a gentle kiss to your forehead, before he removed himself from your space once more and exited the bathroom without another word.

You crumpled to the tiled floor and let your head hide away into your hands, knees drawn to your chest, and you let out the tears and sobs you had held back while Felix was still here.

All your fears from your run earlier had just been answered.

You were in love with Felix, Felix knew how you felt, but he didn’t love you back.

Sorry, I Love You ~ Felix

The rest of the day leading up to the 3Racha dorm party you spent moping around your dorm. Your roommate had arrived back around lunch time, saying they’d crashed at Hyunjin’s overnight and were in need of doing more study for other units before the party tonight.

You had tried to distract yourself with study at some point during the day, but your thoughts would soon spiral into the recent memories with Felix and the feeling of regret and embarrassment would fill you with dread not long after.

There were only a few hours left until the party and you were currently dissociated, staring at the wall of your bedroom.

You were contemplating whether even still going tonight would be a good thing. If you went, there was no way you could escape Felix, you would have to see him eventually and that could make everything worse, but then at the same time, Minho had mentioned your lack of engagement within the friend group and he wasn’t wrong, you had barely spent any time with them in the last month.

If only you hadn’t been so foolish this morning.

Letting out a long-drawn-out sigh you let your body fall to the side in defeat on top of your bed, curling into the fetal position and hiding your head in your hands ashamed.

You felt your phone vibrate from next to you, bringing you out of your sullen emotions and you reached one arm out to feel around the sheets for your phone.

Once in your grasp you held the phone up to eye level and to your surprise you had a few text messages from Felix.

Sorry, I Love You ~ Felix

The text messages only confused your feelings more. What was Felix playing at, one minute he’s jumping away from you at the slightest mention of you being his and now he can’t wait to see you tonight?

You groaned throwing your phone to the side and burying your head into your blankets.

As much as you wanted to wrap your blankets around you and spend the night wallowing in self-pity, you couldn’t, you had promised Minho, your roommate and now Felix that you would make it tonight.

Across the hallway into your roommate’s room, you could hear her blow-dryer going, indicating she was finished with her study and getting ready for the party.

You looked down at your comfy home clothes and let out a sigh, dragging yourself out of the welcoming embrace of your bed sheets and began looking through your closet for something to wear.

You opted for a black mini skirt that flared out slightly around your thighs, giving you easy movement if you decided to join the dance floor with some tight black safety shorts underneath just in case. You paired the skirt with an off the shoulder blood red crop top, that flowed with a frill around the top of the shirt and shoulder’s where it draped down, as well as black converse shoes, a wide clunky belt that hugged your waist in the right places and various jewellery to pull the outfit together.  

You left your hair out, letting it flow down your back, but still combed it through styling it to how you preferred.

As you were finishing off your makeup, you phone pinged from next to you, signalling you had another string of incoming texts. Some from Minho demanding you actually show yourself tonight and a few more from Felix asking if you were there and then asking when you were arriving.

You saw the time was 8:04pm and you cursed that you had taken longer to get ready than you had thought.

You raced around your room, grabbing your things and then headed toward your roommate’s room to tell her to hurry up.

You poked your head around the corner and saw your room mate sitting at her dressing table, smiling widely down at her phone as she typed a text message back, to who you could only assume was her best friend Jeongin.

They were inseparable from the moment Hyunjin introduced the two of them and you were grateful to have someone so caring to call your roommate.

You weren’t the closest of roommates, she hadn’t been living with you for too long, but you wouldn’t want anyone else as your roommate.

Everyone could see the looks your roommate and Jeongin shared, and no one believed them when they said they were just friends, this was a prime example of it.

Your roommate turned her head noticing you standing in her doorway and you gave her a friendly affectionate smile.

“You ready to go? Felix is wondering where we are.” You rolled your eyes playfully in a teasing manner.

“Let me just brush my teeth, then I’ll be good to go.” She smiled at you while tying her shoelaces.

You thought over the recent events with Felix, the mixed signals he had been displaying and your overwhelming sense of confusion to who you were to Felix at all. Your roommate was closer with the friend group, due to her hanging around them more and having a deeper connection with more of the members of the group.

Although she wasn’t super close with Felix, it wouldn’t hurt asking her opinion of Felix as you had never bothered to ask before.

“You are friends with the boys more than I am,” You stated entering her room and leaning against the wall next to the door frame, “What do you think of Felix?” you continued and asked in a serious tone.

Your roommate stopped tying her shoelaces and sat up to look at you, seemingly confused, “I would assume you know Felix better than I do?”

You blushed at her words and let out a nervous laugh, “In some ways I guess, but would you say he’s a good person?”

She arched an eyebrow at you, “Yeah? Why? Has something happened between you guys?” She asked appearing like she was lost on what this conversation even meant.

“No! No, nothing than the usual…well…never mind it’s not important.” You suddenly felt like talking about your feelings wasn’t a good idea.

“Look, I don’t know the full extent on what is going on with you two, but you seem to both really enjoy what you have. Felix is a great guy, you’re a great girl. Live in the moment and try not to overthink so much. Overthinking only leads to bad things.” She advised you, standing up from her dressing table and straightening her outfit.

You pondered over her words and then mentally tried to shake the worry out of you.

Your roommate was right. You might have feelings for Felix, but until Felix was willing to have that conversation- and even if he did the result could be terrible- there wasn’t anything you could do.

You just had to live in the moment and be happy that you got to be with Felix in whatever capacity you could.

“You’re right. Brush your teeth and let’s go, I need a drink desperately.” You laughed pushing yourself off the wall behind you and exiting your roommate’s room to wait for her in the living room.

Sorry, I Love You ~ Felix

By the time you and your room mate rocked up to the infamous 3Racha dorm, music was blearing loudly, people were scattered absolutely everywhere, and party lights were shining brightly out the front door and any cracks of windows that weren’t covered by curtains.

The living room had been cleared to make a makeshift dance floor and the open plan kitchen counter was turned into a DJ set up, where Chan was perched proudly mixing for the small crowd dancing. His girlfriend was beside him drinking and talking to who you knew was her roommate. The entry way to the back patio had a group of people playing drinking games in a circle on the floor and the back glass double doors were fully open to reveal a beer pong table assembled and a group playing.

You passed Minho and Changbin on your way through the doorway into the living room and Changbin threw his arm around your roommate dragging her away from you and into their conversation.

Minho perked up upon seeing your arrival to the party, happy that you had decided to keep to your promise, and you sent him a wink.

“I’ll see you later, I’m gonna go find Felix!” You shouted over the music to the group of three to which your roommate nodded with a smile.

You left the three of your friends and decided to check outside first, as you had scanned the first floor on entry and couldn’t see Felix anywhere nearby.

Passing the group playing beer pong, you walked further outside. There were significantly less people out here, being too early in the night for people to require air or needing to spread out and relax.

There was a group of smokers sitting around an unlit campfire and you noticed the unmistakeable silvery blonde hair of Felix bobbing as he laughed at something one of the male smokers said to him.

You couldn’t control the smile that forced itself onto your face as you watched his smile crinkle the skin around his eyes, turning them into little crescent moons that outshone the moon that hung in the sky above you.

As if Felix sensed your arrival, his eyes drifted from the man in front of him to look at you standing on the patio near the beer pong table.

His mouth gaped slightly as his eyes raked down your body and then back up to meet your eyes again. He seemed mesmerised just by the sight of you.

Ignoring the man that was still talking to him, Felix stood to his feet and begun walking over to where you were standing on the patio, not breaking eye contact while he did.

“Darling, you look incredible.” He breathed out, not wasting a moment to bring you into his embrace for a longer hug than a typical friendly hug. It wouldn’t be a Felix hug, if he didn’t snuggle his face into your neck and breath in your scent, sending the familiar shiver down your spine that you could somehow never get use to.

You giggled nervously at the compliment, suddenly feeling lightheaded now that he had his arms around you again, even though you had only been in them this morning.

Felix was seeming to ignore what happened this morning and you didn’t want to make things awkward or make the situation worse, so you decided to do the same.

“What no cigarette? Are you feeling okay?” You joked pulling away just enough to give him your trademark smirk.

His eyes lit up at the fact you were willing to look past this morning and he gave your hips a squeeze in a silent agreement to move on and have a good night.

“I knew I was seeing you and thought I’d better hold off.” Felix smiled at you, finally pulling away from you to turn you away from the smoker’s area, slinging one of his arms over your shoulders and he begun guiding you back inside the party.

“It’s never stopped me from kissing you before, you know that right?” You said honestly falling into step beside Felix.

Before Felix could respond, you both were stopped in place by Jisung, Changbin and Minho who had blocked your path at the double doors to inside.

“And where do you think you two are going?” Changbin questioned putting his hands on his hips and furrowing his eyebrows in a serious stance like he was an angry mother whose child had just returned home late past curfew.

“To get drinks, didn’t know it was a crime, father.” Felix quick witted, pulling you into his side tighter as if the presence of your three friends was somehow a threat.

Changbin scoffed in annoyance at the insinuation he was treating Felix like a kid, but his features gave him away that he found this whole situation amusing.

“We have perfectly good drinks for you right here though.” Minho stated extending one of his arms to gesture to the beer pong table that was now cleared of the group that was originally playing on it when you arrived.

“Tempting, but the maths isn’t mathing and it appears we have one too many.” Felix responded going to step around the three boys, attempting to pull you with him, but Jisung linked arms with you and effectively ripped you from Felix’s grasp.

“Not fair! You’ve spent so much time with Y/N the last few weeks, learn how to share!” Jisung complained wrapping his arms around you from your right side and holding you firmly so you could not escape.

Felix was no longer willing to joke around. His jaw had set in place, his cheeks were flushed with red like he had eaten too much spice and he seemed almost ready to explode with anger as his eyes looked at you in Jisung’s arms.

“Stop fighting over her like she’s a toy.” Minho lectured, scolding Jisung with a slap to the back of his head which got Jisung’s arms to fall away from you. “Have you even bothered to ask what Y/N wants to do?”

Minho turned his attention to you with a raised eyebrow.

You could choose to go inside with Felix, get drinks, maybe talk about this morning or dance a little, but Minho’s voice from early in the morning rang through your mind.

‘Put some time aside tonight for your friend group.’

“I am feeling a bit competitive, can you spare me for just one game?” You directed your question to Felix with a pout and matching puppy eyes, trying to soften the blow of you choosing to hang with your friend group over spending time with him.

Even though Felix was annoyed, his eyes softened at your pleading expression, and he let out a sigh.

“Of course, come find me when you’re done, okay?” Felix responded leaning over to press a haste kiss to your cheek after you gave him a nod.

“You aren’t going to stay and watch Jisung and I, kick their butts?” Changbin asked shagging up Jisung’s hair affectionately, earning a groan from the younger boy.

Felix shook his head and bit his lip, still tense from Jisung’s actions with you, “Nah, I’m gonna grab a drink, chat to Chan and maybe have a smoke.”

“Your loss, something tells me this will be over pretty quick though.” Changbin shrugged sending a wink to Minho playfully.

Minho clicked his tongue to the roof of his mouth in disagreement and playfully shoved Changbin away by a hand to his chest.

“Put your money where your mouth is, I bet $150 that Y/N and I stomp you both.” Minho bet moving over to the beer pong table to set up.

One game of beer pong turned into two as a result of Jisung and Changbin’s peer pressure and you were beginning to feel the effects of losing the first game and barely winning the second.

Felix hadn’t resurfaced, so after your second game finished you decided to head back inside the party before you could be talked into another round.

If you thought the party was well under way when you arrived, it was nothing compared to now. Either that or it was the fresh buzzing alcohol in your system.

The music seemed loud enough now that it was thumping in your chest, the small dance floor in front of the kitchen bench where Chan had left his playlist to run through was now covered with people dancing – more like grinding on each other to the beat, and getting around the dorm house was seemingly more difficult than before.

You were scanning the faces of people pushing past you and of anyone you could glance at, but none held the face of the man you were looking for.

Suddenly you felt someone’s hand wrap around your wrist, and you were tugged by someone near the bottom of the staircase out of the crowd you were in.

You stumbled a little on your feet and their hand on your wrist moved to your waist to stabilise you.

“Shit, sorry!” Seungmin apologised ensuring you were stable on your feet before he stood back from you giving your space back to you.

“Hey.” You giggled feeling a lightheaded from being jostled around and the alcohol, “Is everything alright?” You asked once you had composed yourself.

“Can we talk upstairs for a minute? Some stuff just happened.” Seungmin asked you, looking disappointed.

You weren’t as close with Seungmin like you were with some of the others in the group, so you had a feeling it might have something to do with your room mate and your face fell at the thought that something might have happened to her, especially if Seungmin wanted to talk with you.

“Of course, lets go.” You nodded taking the lead and walking up the stairs next to you with Seungmin following behind you.

Upstairs was almost like a different world to the party in full swing downstairs. There were only a few people hanging in the hallway, the bathroom was occupied, but with only a short line of people waiting, and the boys’ bedroom doors were all shut and locked indicating no more people were upstairs.

Seungmin took over the lead slipping past you and walked over to stand in front of the study turned music room door that was shut, but since it was at the end of the hallway, it gave you two a little privacy from the people waiting to use the bathroom.

“Sorry to pull you away, but I thought you should know about a situation that just unfolded.” Seungmin sighed running a hand through his hair in a distressed manner.

“What’s going on Seungmin, what’s this about?” You asked impatiently wanting to know if your roommate was okay, or what Seungmin could possibly be this worried about.

“Your roommate and Jeongin. I think they finally realised they both have feelings for each other. I knew Jeongin had been crushing on her for a while and I had my suspicions she felt the same way, but tonight it’s been made pretty clear it’s mutual.” Seungmin explained leaning his back against the wall like he needed the support to stand.

You let yourself fall back into the wall next to him and let out a ‘woah’ at the information just given to you.

“What happened tonight?” You questioned curiously while thinking through all the signs you’d seen from your roommate that she liked Jeongin.

“They were dancing, or should I call it for what it really was, basically dry humping. They looked like they were about to kiss, I was getting ready to track down Jisung and demand my winnings, but ‘cutie’ just panicked and ran out of the house. Don’t worry though, Hyunjin saw everything, and he’s gone to make sure she’s okay.” Seungmin explained further putting an emphasis on the nickname Jeongin always used in reference to your roommate- you’d even picked up the habit of calling her that every now and again.

 “I mean, can’t say I’m surprised. I had my suspicions as well; they’ve never really acted like only just friends. Friends don’t look at each other like that.” You agreed pondering over the information just given to you and relaxing more against the wall knowing that your roommate had her other best friend to make sure she got home safe.

“Like how you and Felix look at each other?” Seungmin broke the seriousness of the conversation to smirk over at you.

You felt an uncontrollable blush creep across your cheeks. Was it seriously this obvious of your feelings for Felix?

“We’re different and I don’t need to remind you how…” You trailed off rolling your eyes at him trying to distract Seungmin from noticing the flush in your cheeks. You’d blame it on the alcohol even if he did.

“Oh yeah, totally different.” Seungmin said sarcastically as he held back a laugh crossing his arms across his chest and pushing himself off the wall, ready to head back down to the party. “Anyway, I just wanted to fill you in, in case you need to be there for her tonight.”

“Thanks, Seungmin and thank you for always looking out for Jeongin and cutie, it doesn’t go un noticed. You’re a great friend.” You expressed your gratefulness for Seungmin with a soft smile on your face and all the sincerity in your tone to back it up.

Seungmin’s iconic puppy grin took over his features at your words and he beamed with pride. He reached out pulling you into his chest for a brief hug in gratitude for your kind words.

“Y/N!” You all of a sudden heard Felix’s voice boom from the direction of the top of the stairs and you pulled away to see a very annoyed looking Felix marching toward the two of you.

From the way Felix had called over to you, the people waiting by the bathroom’s attention was now on the three of you, curious to see what was going on.

“I’ll catch you later Y/N.” Seungmin excused himself, leaving your side and heading past Felix.

“Sup Lix.” Seungmin greeted Felix as he walked over to him, but Felix just pushed passed him making a b line toward you and muttered a ‘we’ll chat later’ at a confused and stunned Seungmin.

“Hey Lixie, sorry I was coming inside to find-what’re you doing??” You tried to address Felix and explain your detour situation, but Felix just wrapped your wrist like Seungmin had previously done, but Felix had a much stronger grip on your wrist.

Felix tugged you toward Jisung’s door and to your surprise, swung open Jisung’s bedroom door and pulled you into it before slamming it shut behind you.

Before you could even question how Felix knew Jisung’s door was unlocked, Felix pushed you up against Jisung’s closed door and pressed himself flush against you, dipping his head so his face was directly in front of yours.

“What were you and Seungmin doing up here?” Felix questioned you, searching your eyes, prepared to detect any sense of nervousness or deceit.

“He wanted to tell me about Jeongin and my roommate, some stuff happened- wait, why is that important? What’s going on with you?” You demanded furrowing your eyebrows at his strange behaviour.

Felix’s hands left the position on your waist to trap you against the door, by placing one hand on either side of your head on the door like your defiance to his interrogation was a sign you were going to try and leave.

“Why’d he leave when I showed up then?” Felix continued his line of questioning, bringing his face closer to yours, grazing his nose against your cheek and jawline sending tingles wherever it traced.

“To give us a chance to talk? I don’t know, I’m not a mind reader Felix.” You were losing your patience now, Felix was coming across as jealous, which was making no sense to you in the slightest from his behaviour this morning to now.

Felix pulled away from your face to look at you taken a back by your sudden annoyance with him.

“I’m just asking. Why are you so defensive?” He scoffed taking a step away from you and crossing his arms across his chest, but still keeping your eye contact.

“Why are you on the attack? I was just speaking to one of OUR friends.” You argued back, gesturing between the two of you sharing a mutual friend. It’s not like he didn’t know Seungmin would NEVER try anything with you and even if he would, you were definitely not Kim Seungmin’s type.

“I’m not.” Felix stated quite bluntly and even though you were growing increasingly angry with the situation and the mixed signals he was giving off, you could tell Felix was trying to not let this escalate, “I was waiting for you inside like I said and then I see you being dragged upstairs by OUR friend, what am I supposed to think?”

It didn’t matter though, the way Felix had gone about asking these questions were out of line and maybe it was the alcohol in your system or maybe it was your self-respect kicking in, but you weren’t being accused of something that very clearly would never happen.

“Maybe think that it was Kim Seungmin I was with, my friend, your friend? If you don’t trust Seungmin that much, you should at least trust me enough to know I would NEVER do something like that you. Regardless of the fact we are only fuck buddies and you have no say over who I talk with anyway!” You exploded at Felix, pushing off the wall and walking up into his space with a scowl on your face.

Felix’s features fell into an almost pout at your sudden explosion and you saw hurt flash across his face after hearing your words.

Without giving Felix a chance to say anything, you continued, speaking more composed and at normal talking volume this time, “What is going on with you lately Felix?”

Felix froze in place by your question, like you had triggered a touchy topic with him.

When he didn’t respond you continued again, letting the rant that had been building up in you over the past week out.

“Between defending me against Yunseo, asking for more intimacy in our arrangement, rejecting any advances I make involving sex, being suspicious of me talking with Seungmin and this morning- I don’t know what to think Felix. What the fuck are these mixed signals?? You want me to be this laid-back fuck buddy one minute and the next you want me to be your unofficial girlfriend. It’s confusing as fuck. What do you want-”

You didn’t get to finish your sentence when Felix crashed his lips against yours, pushing you with force back up against Jisung’s still closed bedroom door.

His lips were hungry moving against yours, every movement they made was passion filled to the brim like he was trying to convey what all his previous actions of the week meant, but nothing was any clearer to you.

You were taken aback by his advances to begin with, but your lips moved just as hungrily against Felix’s, falling into the familiarity of kissing Felix. Kissing Felix was like a well-rehearsed dance, with months of practice and revisits.

The soft biting, he would apply to your bottom lip to get you to gasp, resulting in your mouth parting slightly to which he would take advantage of and glide his tongue between them, deepening the kiss making you moan out from the new sensation.

His hands roamed up your sides, then down again to rest upon your ass under your skirt where he gave you a strong squeeze, causing you to roughly break away from the kiss to let out a louder than you wanted moan.

Without hesitating Felix dropped his head into the crook of your neck as soon as your lips were removed from his, leaving wet imprints into the skin and adding more markings or replacing ones that were beginning to fade.

You tangled your hands in his silvery blonde locks and tugged earning a grunt from Felix as he rutted forward into you, pressing his hardening erection into you and pushing you further into the door.

You were consumed by his scent. Lemon and orange blossoms that had been drifting in the sea breeze glided on the air around you, sunk into your pores and demanded attention of your senses. Lulling you into giving in to him. You could never say no to the temptation. You breathed Felix, you wanted Felix, you loved Felix.

You loved Felix? There it was again. The overwhelming warmth spreading around and encasing your heart in the devotion to the man that had every opportunity to break it.

You halted your participation and froze against Felix. Felix immediately pulled away from you again, just enough to look into your scared eyes with his lust filled ones.

Felix’s desire for you, drifted out of his eyes as realisation began to fill them instead and he leaned forward so his forehead was resting perfectly against yours.

To your shock Felix let out a soft chuckle that sounded raspy with the hints of lust still remaining in his system.

“It’s okay Darling, I was scared too.” Felix admitted bringing a hand to rest on your cheek and play with a few strands of your hair to get you to look at him, bringing you nose to nose now.

Felix’s words only confused you further.

“Scared?” You repeated back almost dissociated from how hard you were trying to disconnect your emotions for Felix, so your feelings were no longer on display.

“I love you.” Felix whispered into a breath that tickled against your lips.

All lust was gone from his eyes, a new emotion that you had seen before filled his eyes that you were beginning to recognise. Love? Did Felix just say he loved you?

Your eyes widened as your brain registered what he had just said, your brain felt like it short-circuited snapping you back to reality.

Felix’s expression faltered slightly as he began to worry judging by your reaction, your mouth opening and then closing, and then repeating.

Felix cautiously slotted your chin into his thumb and pointer finger and tilted your head slightly to look directly into his eyes.

“I thought I felt it alone, I tried to hide it. It’s why I’ve been so distant and avoiding being too intimate with you, in case it slipped out. Tell me I’m not crazy. I know you feel this too.” Felix pleaded his eyes desperately searching your blown out eyes from shock.

“I-I…oh my god.” Was all you could seem to force out, before you swallowed hard and Felix finally felt like you were truly looking back at him, eyes no longer glazed over and distant.

“Sorry, you don’t have to say anything now. I don’t ever want to rush anything with you, I know that seems hypocritical considering how we started out, but I really do care so much for you Darling and I-” It was your turn to stop Felix from getting lost in his rambles, you pushed off the door behind you, cupping his face in your hands and pressed a soft, slow and love filled kiss to his lips.

Felix eagerly returned the kiss, lips moving slowly and passionately together, before you pulled away to look back into his eyes.

His eyes told you all you needed to know, and you couldn’t believe you didn’t see it before. It had been there the whole time, you were too caught up in your own confusion of feelings, to notice the feelings he’d been wearing on his sleeve the whole time.

“I love you too Felix.” You breathed out like a sigh of relief, feeling a weight lift off your shoulders at the admission.

You physically saw the relief and happiness spread across Felix’s features as he let your words soak in. His smile grew up to his eyes and his hands reached for yours, bringing them up to his smile to press quick loving kisses into the skin of the top of your hands.

You couldn’t help the giggle that left your lips at the tickling sensation that spread where his lips travelled.

“You have no idea, how long I’ve been wanting to tell you that.” Felix spoke with a giddy tone into your hands as he continued prepping kissing there.

Felix piqued your interest, how long was long? “Now I’m intrigued, how long?”

Felix smiled up at you from behind your hands and used them to tug you into his chest, where he wrapped you into his embrace, “It was confusing at the start, trying to figure out what was lust and what was love, but I knew you were special ever since that first night we slept together.”

You raised your eyebrows in surprise, you weren’t expecting him to have had feelings for you for this long.

“That’s why I’ve been avoiding sex, because sex wasn’t just sex for me anymore. I want to make love to you; I want you to feel how much I care for you, and I didn’t want to freak you out if I let it slip that I loved you while balls deep in you.” Felix laughed rubbing your hips to give his hands something to do.

You laughed with him, but you know that you never would have minded if he did. You might have been shocked for a second, but you know in your heart you would have confessed your feelings for him in return, regardless of the situation.

Felix’s words ignited your heart, he wanted you how you wanted him. Your feelings were mutual after all.

“Felix, I want nothing more than for you to make love to me.” You smiled watching the love in Felix’s eyes mixing with lust.

“Then let me love you.” Felix grinned moving his face toward you to bring you into another kiss, but before he could place his lips on yours, Jisung’s bedroom door swung open.

You both jumped at the intrusion and Felix instinctively pulled you completely into him, turning you both to the side so he was positioned slightly in front of you protectively.

Jisung stood in his doorway looking the most confused he’d ever been as he looked between Felix and you, then at you to Felix and he couldn’t bring the words to come out of his mouth.

Jisung shook his head forcing himself to address the awkward situation he had created by his arrival.

“Do I even want to know what’s going on here?” Jisung asked before realising you were both in his bedroom and annoyance appeared on his face, “YA! What are you both doing in here? Get out!” He whined.

Without responding to Jisung, Felix grabbed your hand in his, lacing his fingers through yours and while laughing like a kid that got caught with his hand in the cookie jar, dragged you out of the room behind him past a fuming Jisung.

Felix looked back at you as he raced for the stairs with you in tow behind him.

“Let’s get out of here darling.” He beamed at you before looking forward to pay attention to where his footing was going down the stairs.

As you watched Felix’s silvery blonde locks bouncing against his cheeks with every step he took, every now and again he would turn to look at you, making sure you were real, that you were following him wherever he was taking the two of you.

Every time he looked back, the party lights would dance across his face, reflecting in his eyes and you thought to yourself there was no one as beautiful as Felix, inside and out, and there was no where you would rather be, than hand in hand with the man you loved following him with your entire heart.

Sorry, I Love You ~ Felix

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